#this list is more for my own reference but if anyone gives a fuck here. have at it.

[sisterpaxton]

List of names Rob Zombie used or referenced in House of 1000 Corpses/The Devil's Rejects + where they're from:

The last name "Firefly" is from Duck Soup, 1933

Captain Spaulding -> Captain Spaulding (Animal Crackers - 1930), Ringo (Stagecoach - 1939)

Otis B. Driftwood -> Otis B. Driftwood (A Night at the Opera - 1935), Mr. Hammer (The Cocoanuts - 1929), J. Cheever (At The Circus - 1939), Quincy Wagstaff (Horse Feathers - 1932)

Baby Firefly -> Vera-Ellen (Vera-Ellen, actress/dancer known for lip syncing, who also starred in the Marx brothers film Love Happy), Baby Jane (Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? - 1962), Bunny (Love Happy - 1949)

Mama Firefly -> Gloria Teasdale (Duck Soup - 1933), Eve Wilson (Marx Brothers Go West - 1940)

Rufus "RJ" Firefly -> Rufus T. Firefly (Duck Soup - 1933)

The Professor (Earl) -> The Professor (Animal Crackers - 1930)

Ravelli -> Signor Emanuel Ravelli (Animal Crackers - 1930), Ravelli (The Big Store - 1941)

Charlie Altamont -> Wolf J. Flywheel (The Big Store - 1941)

Doctor Satan/S. Quentin Quale -> S. Quentin Quale (Marx Brothers Go West - 1940)

Grandpa Hugo -> Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush (A Day at the Races - 1937) (Hugo's is quite interesting since he was originally intended to be Doctor Satan, I'm assuming thats why his name was derived from a character with the Doctor title)

[seawing-vibes]

Decided to fill out a template from @/falling-skyzz I feel normal about . The dragons ! List of characters & design & dynamic thoughts under the cut <3

Also If anyone else fills out thus template feel free to send me the post,, I would love to see other people filling this out!!! I love templates !!

Secretkeeper & Moon • I understand theres a lot of reasonable hate for Secretkeeper but!!! I find her & moon to be a very fascinating pair! To make a long ass thought short, I think Secretkeeper is the embodiment of “product of her environment & deeply traumatize & projecting”. I think she genuinely really loves moon but obviously expresses that through being “”protective””. But I think shes genuinely a character with a capacity for change & realizing the autonomy Moon has over her own powers. Also from the perspective of Moon I think her arc around her relationship with her mom could be really interesting, especially as Secretkeepers authority becomes challenged in Moons life & she has to confront the bullshit her mother has put her through. Overall very very interesting pair I think about them a lot.

Design Note: Secretkeeper is duller in color than Moon & has less stars due to lack of moon light on the island! Also the scales around her mouth are almost completely black, making her mouth barely visible, giving her the name “Secretkeeper” as she “has no mouth to tell others secrets.”

Tsunami & Starflight • Just one of my fav siblings! This specific illustration is from the Arena Scene in Dragonet Prophesy! I really really love Tsu & Starflights dynamic of looking up to eachother & their development together just. So neat!

Design Note: Starflight has very few constellation marks in this illustration as he hasnt spent much time under moonlight quite yet!

Shark & Abalone • One of my more out-there ships! I based this on the thought that Shark was once close with Abalone (cough. Husbands.) and that relates to why he was willing to give Tortoise a lunch-break from watching the eggs. He already saw someone close to him die from being overworked to watch the clutch, he didn’t want to watch another dragon die from his sisters selfishness. I could write an essay on these two I swear

Deisgn Note: Shark is based on a tiger shark & abalone is based on real abalones! hes one of my fav designs here

Six-Claws & Ostrich • He’s just a sweet dad! the little we see of him he seems to really love her & vice-versa <3 they’re just neat

Design Note: Six-Claws is based on a king cobra & is a specific sub-“species” of hooded Sandwings ! Burn found his hood mutation & six-claws super interesting

Tamarin & Pike • My fav background friendship! They’re just fun. I like Pike just chillin out around Tamarin & describing flower colors to her to the best of his ability (she just likes to hear him ramble about a shared interest)

Design Notes: I updated how I draw Tamarins eyes to properly resemble a blind-born dragon ! Also Pike’s deisgn got some yellow in it and I really like it <3

Whiteout & Thoughtful • I just think they’re neat!! They just seem like a sweet pair love them

Design Note: none really! Just experimenting with a rando Thoughtful design that I tossed together for my “ships tier list”

Tsunami • Its just her :) my fav dragon <3!!! I definitely dont think she upholds the “princess” title once she gets older, her only link to the throne is by Coral insisting monthly visits but Tsu otherwise wouldn’t be any interesting in royal life I would imagine

Design Note: Shes caught a waaururrghh something im going bonkers I cant remember what fish that is and my reference photo seems to have dissipated into the cosmos

Anemone • I LOVE HER. SO MUCH ! Anemone haters BACK OFF!!!! Her relationship to her powers is so fucked man. Something you’d think would give her power & control is just a key by which others use to manipulate and abuse her like . Man :( shes literally never had any autonomy over her own identity & intermingled her powers into her identity So Much only for that aspect of herself to also be revealed to be a facade for someone else’s desires like. GUH I love her so much I hope shes having a good day I dont care what anyone says she deserves to be a brat and I support her for it

Design Note: none really! The stars in her talons are just metaphorical though

Snowflake & Snowfox • THE OGS!!!!!! MY FAVORITE PROBLEMATIC LESBIANS <3 Ahhh remember in the early days when they were considered the #1 most problematic ship because they were gay and also evil. I love the evil lesbians so much they’re so shitty sorry Darkstalker Snowfox should’ve been queen I would’ve loved to see that go down it’d be so silly

Design Notes: Snowfox is based on an arctic fox shedding into their summer coat!! I know its p . Away from canon descriptors of her but it was sm fun to illustrate so shhh <3 Snowflake is just grey & blueish per-canon but shes sooo fun. love her.

Okay thats all here are the individual illustrations now !!!!! Because why not !!! If these aren’t transparent its all over

[frankieunscripted]

My reasons to hate Drake

First things first, I'm the reales- wait, wrong theme. First of all, I would like to say this is NOT an unbiased recap, this is literally just me listing things I've hated about Drake for years. You might as well join in on the hate train. Go watch some YouTube video essays on this if you wanna know more!!! You'll find plentyyyy

Certified Pedophile ("allegedly"): Texting teen girls until they're of age and then go and date them. ew.

Cosplay Gangsta: disrespecting the culture as a whole, but especially what hiphop is about. Flexing money, cars, girls, drugs, clothes bc he never understood hiphop was never about flexing, but about being heard bc you're oppressed, about revolution. Now we got his die-hard fans running around acting like this is true rap. no. "You don't know nun bout dat!"

Culture Vulture: jumping from trend to trend in order to make it "his own", faking accents that he has no business playing with and dropping them as soon as he's done with this specific type of genre bc it's not trendy anymore. Adapting whole "personas" around this, instead of just merely collabing with other artists. Jamaican and African accents are just 2 examples here.

Blackness: Drake never really got out of his acting career. Back on DeGrassi he was acting as a high school jock. Now he's acting like a tough black guy who's from the streets and knows what it's like to be down bad, when this was never his life. Lil Wayne warned him to never change and act tough just bc he would sign to Weezy's label where the rappers were predominantly "gangsta type dudes". And what did Drizzy do? He's acting all tough and "outta dem streets". He's clearly overcompensating for not feeling black enough (I've already reblogged 2 posts about this, pls see these for further context). Drake's mad for not being referred to as a rapper who speaks on being black, when in reality the black experience was never of topic in any of his songs. He also doesn't give back to the community.

Lil Wayne: Drake had relations with fellow rapper Lil Wayne's gf (she actually was of age, ayoooo!) while Wayne was away in prison. Wayne got word of the fact his gf was cheating on him with the young guy he signed under his label and was pissed. Drake, in an effort to smooth out the situation, got Wayne's face tattooed on his arm. Say what you will about portrait tattoos, but this story is just so fucking typical Drake. How the fuck do you think this is gonna help anyone?

Validation: Drake donates money in the music video for God's Plan, only to earn more money with that video/song than he donated in the first place. He felt good about donating and then never did that shit again.

Numbers: As a great man once said: "Crack fiends bought 10 million rocks, that don't mean it's good. It don't mean nothing." (As you can imagine, that man was 2Pac). And with that I say that proving your worth in the industry by numbers don't mean a lot. It means you and your team figured out the market and started producing stupid, vapid, but terribly long albums to maximize streaming numbers, automatically bumping up your place in the industry. This is about quantity, not quality - good rap/ hiphop was never about that. Drake actively validates his music and status with his fame, money and streams and neither him nor his fans seem to get that says nothing about the artistic value of his music. "Numbers lie too, fuck your pride, too!" (I mean really, Baby Shark has 14 Billion views on YouTube - you think that's REAL artistry, Mister Aubrey?)

Cocky Ass Bitch: I would be okay with a lot of his music if Drake just knew his fucking place. He went pop ages ago, but still people (including himself) refer to him as a rapper - no even, as THE rapper, placing him in the Top 3. Sometimes I feel like y'all do this, just to piss me off personally. Apart from everything else wrong with Drake, there's nothing wrong with liking music like his persé. Not everyone likes conscious/ deep stuff and sometimes, when you with the homies, you just wanna chill and listen to something "mindless" - MIND you, I'm not looking down on "non-conscious" rap, I'm just saying not every artist has to be woke/ deep all the time and some "empty" party anthem about girls, fashion, cars and alcoholism is fun at times. These party anthems deserve their place. And a child actor turned rapper turned POP STAR is valid in my books - just not if it's Drake. Apropos cockiness: The dude compares himself multiple times to Michael Jackson and while that got a few good lines out of him, I believe it's close to fucking blasphemy. Drake and MJ on the same pedastal. I mean sure, questionable stuff happening with kids, both of them wildly successful in their industry (mind you, streaming like today wasn't around back then and many of the numbers cannot be compared), but one of them a real talent and the other one some guy who more or less made it as an industry plant. "I can dance like Michael Jackson? / I'd argue your skills really lack, son!" (okay sorry, I know, that was corny as fuck xD) Dude is flexing with numbers instead of poetic abilities -

About the art itself:

Ghostwriters: "What poetic abilities?", I hear you ask - Yeah, don't think I forgot! Best believe I been cooking this one. There's evidence for Drake having ghostwriters - which on its own is fine, don't believe every star writes every single bar on their own. My problem with this is, that Drake keeps his cocky attitude, even though many of his hits aren't really Aubrey-written and also many ghostwriters never get their credit (this is why they're called "ghostwriters", I know that this is not something specific to Drake, but slapping one more name on the credits ain't that hard, when you're worth a billion bucks already). This is the rap equivalent of flexing your homework when you know DAMN WELL copied it off of your best friend and did nothing for that success. I guess his song Right Hand wasn't about a romantic interested after all, but the dudes who been writing it!

STOLEN SHIT: Why in hell is no one mentioning this on here? Drake is KNOWN for stealing other artists' verse metres (referred to as "flows", y'all tumblr, idk how much you guys do know, okay?), melodies, whole beats, samples or verses in general. In no other studio would you see mentions of a "reference track" concerning songwriting. They take a song as reference and build around it as they construct a beat. There's PLENTY of evidence for this happening, one story really had me baffled, where a young indie-rapper met Drake in the early 2010s, gave him his CD to listen to and a whopping 5 years later the indie-rapper realizes Drake just fucking stole his entire song (a really personal one at that) on his latest album back then. Being indie, of course the guy had little to no means of fighting back with lawyers or anything, man's was working a 9to5 job and had other stuff going on. Before you wanna argue with me though: YES. There is a difference between stealing and paying hommage. One famous example is Drake biting Eminem's Superman flow on Chicago Freestyle: "But I do know one thing though/ Bitches, they come, they go/ Saturday through Sunday, Monday / Monday through Sunday, yo/ Maybe I'll love you one day/ Maybe we'll someday grow". The only good thing Drake ever did was changing Em's "Bitches" to "Women" on his song. Other than that: exact same few bars. This is a hommage. Why? Because Eminem, that's why. You can pay hommage to great, well-known artists with good bars. It takes a common ground of knowledge from artist to audience to make a hommage like this work. That can go well. Kendrick copies the flow of a Kanye West song on HiiiPower and it works just fine because you listen to either of the song and think: "Ah yeah exactly, that one part, okay, I see you." You don't pay hommage to a small, unknown, indie-rapper by copying his whole verse about his Mom, when you would never say stuff like that on your records before. You don't, because it wouldn't work. None of your listeners would understand the innuendo at all, because no one ever heard of the "great guy you'd be paying hommage to". So shut up.

Music: It's just not that good. Like yeah, he had a few bangers, but let's not exaggerate. Artistically Drake does not offer anything. If he ever did, he probably left all of that on the first few albums he still rapped on. His delivery sucks, his singing voice sounds like he's tryna be The Weeknd at times but isn't. The lyrics aren't special. What the fuck?

Euphoria: Even before getting deeper into hiphop, I've always hated the way Drake presents himself. When Kendrick said: "I hate the way that you walk, talk, dress" I felt that. I hate the way he "raps", the way he drags his words, the way he laughs, the way he "sings". Just a whole lotta shit I dislike about the guy.

Sneak Dissing: If you want beef then get in line, don't just kinda allude to it, you weak ass bitch

SENSITIVE ASS BITCH: I love a man who's in tune with his feelings but Drake being the cosplaying gangsta clown he is, acts like he's all tough when in reality, you can't really say shit to him, cause he "can't let this shit slide, ay".

Kendrick's Control Verse drops - a verse calling out multiple rappers saying Kendrick will come for them in friendly competition for the crown of being the best. Drake was mentioned. Everyone thinks it's kinda cool and goes along. Drake is mad. In an interview he basically said he found it fake because the next time he saw Kendrick "it was all love" and that he wanted it "to be real. Let it be real then". Okay crodie, next time you get called out in a fair rap competition, best believe I'll sock you in your fucking throat, I gotchu.

The Weeknd doesn't sign to Drake's label OVO after working with Drake for a while. Drake is mad again and feels betrayed. Why you gotta be like this?

Kendrick says that he doesn't wanna collab with Drake because their music is too different, not because of anything personal. He just doesn't see it happen in the near future because it would not match artistically. Drake gets mad.

Drake stopped beefing with Pusha T back in the day. Probably because he exposed his son. But still, if you want beef, then clean up your plate, bc you eat what you order and dont't just start to "let this shit slide, ay"

("allegedly") being involved in XXXTentacion's passing back in 2018 over beef. This beef started because of the flow of X's popular song Look at Me!, which Drake stole shortly after letting X know his management would contact him about a possible collab. As you can imagine, X was never contacted by Drake's people. The kid was 20 years old, man. He said some outrageous shit at times, but no one deserves to go out like he did.

Also, the famous DMX ("Y'all gon make me lose my mind!") once said in an interview that he'd like to punch Drake in the face and I support that. Kendrick and his homies laughed at the clip - as did everybody else, cause it's hilarious if a beast and a legend of hiphop hates Drake. Drake was mad at Kendrick laughing about it and not taking it seriously. What did he expect? Should Kendrick have went after DMX and made him apologize for what he said about lil Aubrey? How old are you? 5?

Drake gets mad at a lot of shit - bottom line. I could go on and on, but I've been writing this for hours, it's half past 3 am and I wanna sleep after uni and work, y'all.

DURING THE DISS-ERTATION: this section is about shit Drake did during the beef with Kendrick.

Saying Kendrick's Like That verse was weak af. That's your core response? Someone flames you and people are already throwing ass to the mere sound of it and you think: "Huh, that sucked anyway." Pathetic.

Calling Kendrick short (over and over and over again) as if his height is under his control/ his fault? - as if that takes way from Kendrick's skill, Kendrick's allegations againt Drake! - as if that means ANYTHING AT ALL to people over the age of like... 12?

Going after anybody's family in the first place. I know nothing is really "off-limits" in a rap battle like this, but please have the fucking decency. Don't mention my Momma, my kids, my dog, my fam, my friends who ain't got nothing to do with the fact that I hate you. I will say I am not proud of Kendrick for getting down on that level himself - but I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy Meet The Grahams and the sheer panic it induced. And sometimes I gotta be a little childish and yell "But Aubrey started ittt!"

Hitting on Whitney in The Heart Part 6. Don't go for another man's treasure, you absolute dog. Accusing Whitney of being unfaithful. My friend, this beef is about us (the Culture) hating you and the things you do. Stop trying to shift this into something it is not.

Reacting to diss tracks via instagram stories and memes, like he's that one popular girl in 7th grade who's gotta clap back to something someone said in school on her IG. Shut up.

Calling The Weeknd and his manager gay. Are we not over homophobia yet? Being queer is not an insult. Also falsely "accusing" people of being gay is uncool as fuck - but oh "You don't know nun bout dat!" bc false accusations are basically everything you do - and also possibly outing someone like that is fucking hurtful as shit. I know the people involved are probably not queer at all, but if they were - period.

Using AI in a song at all. Drake, you already proved you suck. Don't force it down our throats. What part of you thought it would make you look good? What part said it would be good to do in a diss track, when the world knows diss tracks are even more a show of capability than other songs. Nah, you go and use AI. Idc about your "mind games": Using AI Snoop Dogg is just weird as fuck cause the Doggy is still well and alive - if you want him to feature on your song, call the legend and ask hi- oh wait, you knew he woulda said "Aww hell nah!" cause everyone hates you? Huh. Snoop probably woke up one day, hit a blunt and asked "When the FUCK did I collab with Drake?". Anyway, using AI 2Pac is straight up disrespectful, when you know damn well the guy would've hated you if he knew who you'd become. Just doing this because it's 2Pac, because you can and not even asking for permission of Pac's people is crazy. Glad the shit was taken down anyways.

The 8 Mile "Airing Out Your Dirty Laundry"-Trick before the big battle does NOT invalidate future claims on you diddling kids. No. Not even if 2Pac says it first. Nah.

His Damage Control Effort in post to make it seem like/make us believe that he's in control, when Kendrick has been bodying him is hilariously embarrassing. Anyone can claim the mole was fake "all along" after it happened.

Making fun of Kendrick for his verse on Taylor Swift's Bad Blood is just stupid. Look at all the features Drake does. Rihanna, BadBunny, DJ Khaled, Future, PartyNextDoor, Lil Wayne, Diddy, Nicki Minaj, Wizkid, ..... the list is so fucking long (I'm just picking at random songs at this point, cause I do not want my browser/spotify history to be associated with Drake's music. I don't wanna go out of my way to say he NEEDS these people to stay relevant but let's face it: His discography and his success would be different if it weren't for them

Acting like he's so great for "finally making Kendrick rap again" - Sir, you don't write your shit on your own, stfu. You don't invest time and effort into your vapid albums. YOU should be thankful for Kendrick destryoing you, giving us the best few lines out of you in a long time.

Not addressing important shit. We been over the allegations, I will not repeat them in this post cause this is already long enough. BUT y'all on the same page as me, aight? Instead of addressing EVERYTHING, he just responds with diss tracks that aren't terrible but really not THAT good, yk? Not going into the shit that we want to se addressed.

Acting like disstracks need replay value. Idk if this is a Drake or a fanbase problem, but people really act like Drake's tracks were better, bc you can listen to them more casually. "Kendrick basically made a whole song about Drake" - THIS IS WHAT A DISS TRACK SHOULD BE! Notice how we don't call every song containing a diss immediately a "diss track"? That's why. Diss tracks were meant to hit your opponent in the stomach with witty bars, double entendres, nice delivery and good production. Diss tracks weren't meant to be club bangers - bonus if they do end up being some though, looking at you, Like That and Not Like Us.

Not reading into stuff properly or just not listening. This is a small one, but ngl I hate the fact they got the Mother I Sober reference wrong (The song is NOT about Kendrick being abused, BUT about Kendrick not being abused and his Mom NOT believing him and passing her sa trauma onto him, even though he didn't experience that). Also Kendrick explicitly says "DOT, the money, power, respect / The last one is better" on Like That and Drakes response (again) is "Huh, I have way more money than you and in the industry, I'm way more powerful than you. Also, you so short tihhihi." BITCH he SAID respect was the most important of the three and you disrespect him, not by calling him out by his wrong doings but by picking on physical features the man cannot change like a 5th grade bully.

Anyways. phew. If you made it this far... wow. I'm impressed. I'll keep updating this. Thanks for coming to my beef talk.

EDIT: Thank y'all for the positive reactions on this post. If you seek more info/ want me to further explain stuff/ have even more dirt on Drake, let me know and we can work something out. -Frankie out

[inkblot22]

Truss

Woohoo Malleus woohoo! I'm making the trigger list a bit bigger because I keep thinking about how people will totally skip reading it if it's too small and then blame the writer for their own mistake. That shit is clown behavior but I don't want to be held responsible for someone else's case of stupid, so sorry to those of you who think this looks clunky. Line divider found here: @/cafekitsune. This is also a fic that is wildly self-indulgent, in that I mean that while writing I visualized my own physical form and quirks.

That being said, this fic is written with afab (assigned female at birth) readers in mind. No pronouns other than you are used for the reader, but the reader does possess a womb. Reader's chest is not described in the least, just the lower bits, and even then it's not at length. Malleus also refers to the reader as "beauty," but masculine people can be beautiful too so idk but here's a warning anyways.

This fic is DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT. TW for noncon, fae interaction rules used for said noncon, slight bullying if you squint, one (1) mention of blood (I'm beginning to think I have a problem.) Stay safe while reading. Possible OOC Malleus, I haven't read any of book 7 and if you spoil it I'll block you temporarily.

This is absolutely not your fault, and you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. It’s awful. Crewel was for sure his namesake, because this whole thing was a steaming pile of-

Alright, from the top, just to organize your thoughts: you are the only non-magic student in a school of mages. The teachers are mages. Your best friend/roommate/monster friend is a mage. The plants here can do magic, but you? No. Thanks homeworld. Love the gift of nothing.

Thus, the faculty have seemingly created a game of “how to piss off and challenge the magicless student,” in which they give you various tasks to just make you lose sleep. Vargas had you running laps until your legs felt like jelly, doing pushups until your shoulders started sounding like glowsticks. Trein had you learning completely off the wall trivia, such as what type of fabric the Queen of Heart’s favorite bathrobe was made of and why it made her more powerful. That’s nothing, it’s easy because you apparently have so much free time in their eyes. But Crewel? Fuck that man. 

When you got the assignment, it sounded fun and exciting. He gave you seeds for a fast-growing rose thing. Honestly you weren’t paying attention to the name of it, but you retained what you needed to know. The plant only grew in moonlight, so you needed to cover it before you went inside at night. It needed a minimum of two hours of moonlight to grow per night. If the basket was overturned and it was exposed to the sun, then the plants would die. Moderate watering, no fertilizer, the usual.

Once the plants bloomed, you were supposed to take the flowers and make some kind of glamour potion, so here you are, failing at doing so. You only had four flowers, and you’re down to the last one. You wasted three tries and you still have no idea what the hell you’re doing wrong and it’s due next alchemy class and you’re breaking curfew on top of all of it. You glare into your cauldron with your latest failed attempt and hunker down to shoulder against the side so you can dump it out and try again. 

“Oh, it’s you.”

The voice makes you jump out of your skin. You turn around and you almost want to cry tears of joy, because if anyone can help you, it’s him.

“When I saw a little head duck down, I thought that something strange was happening. A crime, perhaps.” Malleus smiles, and it’s not a kind smile, but you’ll take anything remotely positive at this point, “What are you doing on the floor, child of man?”

“Oh, I have to empty the cauldron.” You puff out, still trying to throw your weight to push the cauldron. You did it twice earlier, so this must be the effects of mental and physical fatigue.

“Oh, that’s right. Allow me.” Rather than waving a hand or anything, Malleus strolls on over and uncrosses his arms, taking one hand and pressing his fingertips against the lip of the cauldron. The whole damn thing tips, the failed mixture pouring out into the nearby drain. With the same ease, he tilts it back and turns to you.

When he looks at you, it’s… weird. You know he’s lizard-like, as dragons evidently are, but even Sebek’s eyes aren’t this jarring. They aren’t soulless or cold or unfeeling, but it feels like he is looking through you. His emotions don’t reflect in his eyes properly. That’s what it feels like. They reflect, but it’s wrong. Fractured. His lips quirk into a smile and you blink.

“Uh… wait, what are you doing out here, Tsunotaro?” You ask, turning to gather more materials, following the transcript of your recording from class.

His smile grows, “Just on a walk. Will you tell me what you’re trying to make?”

“Uh, yeah. This glamour potion? I don’t know. Remember how I was growing those flowers?”

“Of course. And what happened to the rest?”

“I… uh… I messed up the other potions. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.”

“No?”

“No. Do… do you think you could maybe… help me?”

“Of course.” Malleus plucks the flower up, twirling it thoughtfully, “Why don’t you gather the other ingredients?”

That was simple enough. Petals from your tediously grown blooms, some kind of floral oil with tiny white flowers inked on the label, a ball of clay no bigger than a pea, something that really resembled a severed finger, something that was hopefully just someone’s baby tooth, a handful of crystals in a rainbow of colors, and water. Lots of water. Malleus watches as you put all your ingredients on the nearby table and hums thoughtfully before dimming the lights and turning back to you.

“And where did you hear that you needed these things?” He asks. It’s not something that he says with any indication that you’re right or wrong. The tone is bland but the words say enough. 

He has essentially told you before that he believes you inept, a babe in the woods when it comes to this sort of thing, but it doesn’t stop you from looking as hurt as you feel, “The headmage visited class and gave me some pointers?”

“You personally or the entire class? I don’t personally recall concocting anything like this when I was in your grade.” He says.

You suppose you’re grateful that he’s so blunt, but his flat tone makes the sting of your failure that much sharper. You thought he’d be nicer, since you two are sort of friends, and Lilia has told you that Malleus is fond of you, but it also makes just as much sense for him to refrain from easing up in his flatness because he supposedly thinks so much of you. He thinks you’re an idiot, but he’s not willing to treat you as such.

“The whole class. And no one else in my grade is doing this.” You mutter, staring at your assortment of items on the table.

He approaches the table and plucks up the beaker of water, twisting it in his hand, “Did you distill this?”

“What?”

“Tap water often has various minerals in it. If you haven’t been using distilled water, you’ve been adding an extra ingredient. Typically, most potions are much more forgiving and you can use tap water with little issue, but this particular potion is known to be disagreeable.” He murmurs, crossing the room with your beaker of water and setting it up to distill with a practiced ease. “That’s why it’s typically saved for fourth year students’ aptitude testing.”

The revelation hit you like a ton of bricks. You’d like to protest but it unfortunately makes sense. Malleus looks over at you, somewhat blandly, then turns around to face you, looking half concerned.

You answer his question before he can ask, “I didn’t… know that. I guess it’s my fault for being from a different world…”

His lips twitch into a smile, and for a moment you can see amusement in his eyes, fractured with the underlying coldness, “Oh, it isn’t. It may be your fault for failing to ask questions, but having someone who is unused to this type of work take on an advanced project is cruel.”

“You think so?” You ask, voice lilting with hope.

“Of course I do. Why you’re expected to make a potion of this caliber is beyond me.” Malleus states blankly.

“Uh, yeah. I- I don’t know either. But thank you for helping me!”

His expression flinches. It lasts for less than a second before it smooths into an odd grin. You’re not quite sure what that means, but you’re too happy to stop and think about it. The water finishes distilling and you carefully begin crafting, using the tips Malleus occasionally mumbles towards you. Don’t put that ingredient in yet, stir clockwise, you need to grind that up with the oil, don’t rush you have time, et cetera, et cetera, and then you have a gorgeous violet mixture, glimmering with a pearlescent golden sheen.

Your jaw drops. Somehow the few ingredients you threw together is enough to fill several bottles. Malleus is making a smug face as you rush to the shelves of empty bottles and choose several fluted bottles, quickly using a ladle to deposit the final, successful potion into the bottles. You’re so giddy with your success that you hardly notice as Malleus walks towards the door and locks it. But only hardly.

“What was that for?” You ask, not actually caring. You’re too happy to be worried.

“Oh, we’ll need privacy.” He responds.

That part confuses you enough into caring. You turn around from where you’ve safely wrapped the bottles and slipped them into your bag and shoot Malleus a frown, “Privacy? For what?”

Malleus doesn’t say anything. He walks over to the table and you feel your body stand up, void of your control, and stagger over to stand in front of him. If you were concerned before, you’re frightened now. Malleus looks down at you with his strange gaze and folds his arms.

“Wh-what’s happening?! Why can’t I move?”

“You really don’t know?” He asks. Something about his tone sounds mocking, but you’re certain he doesn’t mean it to be. It’s his version of sarcasm, he’s spoken to you like this before.

Your body hops up on the table, taking a seat, and Malleus turns to stand before you, looking down at you with a soft smile. You shift your hips- what the fuck is going on- and Malleus very gently hooks his hands in the pants of your dorm uniform.

Your dorm uniform is legit whatever the hell you want it to be, so it would change on the daily. Today it was a pair of jeans and a hooded jacket. He kneels to remove your shoes and stands back up, leaning close as he tilts your chin up. His breath fans over your lips.

“You didn’t tell me that you were so lovely beneath your clothes.” His hand on your chin shifted to your cheek, and his other hand laid flat on the table. “And… your smell is much stronger. Are you aroused?”

“You can’t just ask me that! I don’t know what you did but you’ve got to let me go.”

“I didn’t do anything. This is your doing.” He retorts, pecking your lips very chastely. 

“What are you talking about?” When he didn’t respond, instead pressing the tips of his hand that was on the table against your exposed sex, your heart jumps but your body doesn’t move. You can’t, “Don’t do that!”

“Lilia informed me that making someone climax is similar to binding someone to you.” He mumbles, kissing you again as his fingers slowly slip inside. “It makes them fall in love with you. Isn’t that the most binding contract of all?”

You don’t know why he isn’t listening, but even less than that, you don’t know why he thought you could handle two fingers, much larger than your own, penetrating you. You squeal, but your body is incapable of tensing. Malleus pulls back, looking at you in a soft confusion.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“With me? What’s wrong with you? That’s too many- it’s uncomfortable!”

He blinks at you and withdraws a finger, which feels much better. You sigh. If you’re going to be forced to do this, you may as well not get hurt in the process. You close your eyes and Malleus hums.

“Is this better? You’ll have to forgive me. I haven’t had a dalliance with a human before.”

“I- I don’t think I’ll be able to… to forgive you for this.”

“No?” You can hear his smirk and the squelching noise as he pumps his finger gets louder. He slips the second finger in again and the burn isn’t so bad as last time, “Well, maybe you can decide that for certain after the wedding.”

“The wedd-” You have to bite your tongue to keep from moaning. Your body leans back, laying on the table, and your gentle assailant curls his fingers, leaning forward to mouth at your neck, “There’s not gonna be a motherfucking wedding. You’re-”

You can hear his horn scraping against the table, “Hmm. I didn’t think you were so entitled. You’re squeezing around my fingers. Are you close?”

“No!” You’re a liar. A ragged gasp leaves your throat and you feel the drop in the pit of your stomach, the burst of euphoria traveling up your spine as his thumb presses against your clit.

Malleus laughs, then leans up off of you. The sound of clothing hitting the ground is the first and only warning you get, but you can’t move, so it might as well have been silent. You feel something on your stomach, coming up about a half inch below your belly button. It’s… almost cool to the touch. You would think it would be warmer, but it’s not. Your eyes round as you stare at the ceiling, and Malleus’s face leans into view, his eyes boring into yours as though he’s reading your thoughts.

“You’re very warm. I’ve always thought this. You must be boiling inside.”

“I- what?”

He doesn’t respond, leaning back up. You feel the velvety head of his cock press against your entrance and as much as you want to jolt away, you can’t move your body. You can’t even look down to see what he’s doing. Your lashes flutter as the stretch sets in, the pressure worse than his two fingers. It burns, especially along the bottom, where his weight lays heavy thanks to gravity. You’re capable of wincing and letting out a whine, but nothing else.

“H-hey, that- that hurts.” You babble.

“Does it? You are squeezing me like a vice. I’ll stay still for a moment so you can relax some. Let me know when it stops hurting.” It’s very peculiar. Although he speaks with an animated tone, his voice is often detached. You would think he’d have more emotion since he’s inside of you.

You blink rapidly and decide that now is as good a time as any to ask, “What the hell is happening?”

“Must you tease me so?” He responds, his voice tense.

“What? I’m not teasing you. I can’t move!”

“Of course you can’t. You only just bound yourself to my will.”

“I what?” You shout.

“What, did you think I enslaved you? I could have, when we first met. You’re too free, giving people your name, thanking them, taking gifts freely… it drives me mad.” You feel a flash of heat, something warm rolling against your skin, like standing too close to a gas stove, “And now I find that you didn’t even know? I didn’t think you were such a fool.”

“That’s just called being polite!” You protest. “Oh my god-”

“I suppose I can’t blame you, really. Relax, lest I harm you.” He murmurs, rolling his hips further as though he can slide in deeper. 

You squeak, “N-no, that’s-”

“Too much, yes. Tell me, in your world, do faefolk exist?”

“I- I mean, if they do, most people don’t believe in them.” The oddity of the situation felt like a blanket. Having a semi-conversation while your friend- not after this- used you as a dick holster. It was almost comforting. “I don’t- I don’t understand.”

His voice was deeper than normal, an underlying rasp to his voice, as though it was coming from somewhere deep in his throat, “I will explain. I’ll tell you anything you’d like to know. But after I explain, I will begin to move.”

“H-hey, no-”

His voice sounded choked, half strangled as he stifled a groan, “I apologize for not being clear earlier. Among the fae, verbal contracts are common and binding. You do not give someone your name. You wonder why I never directly gave you mine? It is a way to bind someone to your will. You do not accept gifts. Invitations are fine, but a gift is a sign that you owe someone something. My help- a boon- is a gift. Typically it is repaid with another kind turn. And, most importantly, you do not thank someone without the sufficient power to break their hold.” 

You felt him draw back, that wave of heat rolling over you again, and then he slammed forward. The slick noise and dull smack were muffled by your squeal, his cockhead punching your cervix like it stole from him.

“Foolish little thing. I suppose it makes you cute.” He sneers, and your body sits up, arms wrapping around his shoulders.

The angle makes his motion a bit less painful. He’s no longer bumping against your cervix, thank the Seven, but the stretch remains. Your eyes flinch shut and Malleus tilts your chin up to kiss you again.

“St-stop- stop!” You whimper, “You’re hurting me!”

“If you would relax, beauty, that would not be a problem.” His chuckle is dark, the squelching from your coupling making a wicked duet that makes you feel dizzy, “And you said it to me so easily as well. Thank me again.”

“Wh-” One of his hands slipped under your hips, holding your bottom just under the split in your cheeks, and nipped your neck as a flat thumping echoed from where your bodies met, your legs bouncing with the motion. His member had gone back to bullying your cervix, and you wailed in the hopes that he would stop, “Thank you!”

“Heh… it escapes your lips so freely. Tell me, beauty-” He cut himself off with a grunt, panting against the column of your throat. “Tell me, what is it that you’d like? I would give you the world on a platter, should you want it.”

“I- ow! Y-you’re hurting me!”

There was a possibility that he was getting off on the pain he was causing you, just as much as there was a possibility of him not understanding that he was hurting you. With every motion of his hips against yours, despite the wicked pain, you felt that ever evil tug in your gut, like a stone growing heavier and heavier. 

You tried again, because if this had to happen, if you were under his control now, you may as well not get injured. You would not be pissing blood if you could help it, “It’s too deep!”

He listened. It was odd, but he listened, his voice warming as he slid back a bit and continued ramming into you, but no longer beating the hell out of your internal organs.

“I didn’t realize. Is that better?” His voice sounded warmer, echoey against your shoulder. His teeth grazed over your skin again when you didn’t respond. He choked out your name and you sort of came back to yourself.

“U-uh- I guess?”

“Wonderful.” He mumbled, his free hand reaching between your bodies and slicked with your sweat, to tweak your clit.

It should be embarrassing, how quickly you reached your height. Whoever he had been with in the past couldn’t have been so sensitive, since you felt his body jerk against you, an uncontrolled undercurrent to his motions. You let out a quiet, squealing moan and barely even felt the break when Malleus bit you to muffle his own groan. You didn’t feel him climaxing inside of you. You felt the control return to your body and flopped backward onto the table, your hoodie damp with sweat. Malleus took a step back, then carefully redressed you, then himself. You looked up at him and saw nothing but adoration in his eyes, not the fractured appearance of such. It was like he was actually looking at you.

When he spoke to you, leaning forward to cup your cheek, his voice was warm, warmer than ever, “Now, let’s start planning for the wedding, my beauty.”

[stephstars08]

Welcome to my Darkside

GF!Ethan Landry x Reader

Warnings: Obsessed!Ethan, Adult Language, Jealous!Ethan, Murder, Blood, Violence, Weapons, Sexual Tension, Sexual References, Make Out Sessions, Implied Smut, and Maybe Some Grammar Errors. (Sorry if I forgot any)

Summary: Ethan has a darkside and when the girl he’s obsessed with decided to go on a fake date with another guy Ethan can’t help but let his darkside come out. But, what Ethan doesn’t know is that Y/N has a darkside of her own.

Inspired Song: DARKSIDE by Neoni

Word Count: 1,956

Author’s Note: Here is another Ethan story for all of you Ethan Girls and it’s even more special since it’s Ethan as Ghostface which I’ve only written one other time! I hope you all enjoy!!

Ever since the first day that Ethan met Y/N he immediately became obsessed with her. Since Y/N is roommates with Mindy and Ethan is roommate with Mindy’s twin brother Chad they both hang out with the same group of friends. Well, Ethan doesn’t refer any of them as his friends since the only reason why Ethan is in New York is to get revenge on Sam for murdering his brother which was a year prior in Woodsboro.

Ethan isn’t doing this revenge plan on his own. His sister Quinn is roommates with Sam and her little sister Tara, and his father is a detective at the NYPD. However, no one knows that Ethan is related to them so to keep that a secret he changed his last name to Landry while his sister and father changed their last name to Bailey, so no one knows that they are related to Sam’s ex-boyfriend.

Ethan knew the number one rule his father gave him, and Quinn was to not get attached to anyone. Ethan was doing fine with that rule till he met Y/N. Quinn did notice that Ethan was growing feelings for Y/N, and she told him was to be careful because if their dad finds out about is little crush, Y/N will be first on the slaughter list.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Friday night and Ethan was at the groups regular Friday night hangout with Tara and Chad. The hangout place is a restaurant that is right down the road from the college campus that they all go to. Ethan was sitting at a table with Tara and Chad who were sitting right across from him when Y/N finally showed up. “Hey, sorry I’m late.” Y/N said as she slid into the booth Ethan was sitting in. “It’s okay, we just sat down about five minutes ago.” Ethan reassured her.

“Where is Mindy?” Y/N asked in a curious tone. “Apparently she has a date with that girl Anika.” Tara told her which made Y/N roll her eyes. “She never fucking tells us anything.” Y/N said in annoyance as she started to look at the menu. “Better get used to it since that’s just how my sister is.” Chad told her.

“Why were you running late?” Ethan asked Y/N changing the subject since he doesn’t give a fuck about what’s going on with Mindy. “I ran into Max right after I got out of my last class.” Y/N answered keeping the annoyance in her voice. Ethan felt his blood boil right when Y/N said Max’s name.

Max is a guy who Y/N shares two classes with, and he’s been trying for two months to get Y/N to go out with him. He follows her around like a puppy dog and it drives Ethan fucking crazy. Even though Y/N has turned Max down thousands of times, he can’t help but get extremely jealous when he sees them together. Ever since the day Ethan laid eyes on Y/N he declared that he will be the only one that’s allowed to have her. He’s the only one that can have a romantic relationship with her. She belongs to him and only him.

“That simp is still trying to get you to go out with him?” Chad said looking up from the menu in his hands to look over at Y/N. “It’s like right when I walk into any building on campus, he’s right there waiting for me.” Y/N explained with little hint of anger in her voice. “It’s so fucking annoying!” Y/N added.

“I have an idea on how you can get Max to stop asking you out and leave you alone.” Tara told her putting the menu down flat on the table. “What is it?” Y/N asked her in a curious tone. “You’re not going to like it.” Tara told her in warning tone. “Tara, I am willing to do anything to make this little shit leave me the fuck alone.” Y/N told her in a stern tone. “You’re going to have to agree to go on one date with him.” Tara told her which made Ethan’s heart rate speed up. “Wait, so to get Max to leave her the fuck alone she has to go out on a date with the desperate simp?” Chad asked Tara with confusion. “I wasn’t finished.” Tara said giving him a quick side glare and then looked back at Y/N. “Agree to go on one date with him and during the date make it the worst date he’s ever been on to make him not want a second date.” Tara explained the idea. “So, I need to act like a total bitch to make him not want to go on another date with me?” Y/N asked her. “Yeah, pretty much.” Tara told her with a nod. “Yeah, that sounds like a good plan, so I’ll do it.” Y/N said which made Ethan’s heart drop to his feet.

He couldn’t believe that Y/N is going along with Tara’s plan. Yes, it’s going to be a fake date for Y/N, but Ethan’s jealousy couldn’t help but start to take over his body. Anything can happen during this so-called date. What if the date actually starts off good and it makes Y/N not want to do the plan anymore? What if Max charms her? Ethan knew that he has to talk her out of doing this plan. Ethan was too busy in his thoughts to notice that everyone was telling the waitress their order till Y/N said his name. “Oh, sorry!” Ethan said coming back to reality. Ethan told the waitress his order and then gave her the menu. “Okay, I’ll go put in your orders.” The waitress told them and walked away.

“Are you okay?” Y/N asked Ethan with concern in her voice. “Yeah, just got a lot of Econ shit in my head.” Ethan answered her with a lie which did make her let out a giggle. “Don’t we all have college shit stuck in our heads.” Y/N told him. “It’s Friday. Those thoughts can wait till Monday.” Y/N told him putting her hand on top of his’s hand that was resting on the table. After Ethan gave her a nod she went back and to talking to Tara and Chad. She kept her hand on Ethan’s till their food came.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was Monday morning and right when Ethan step onto the plaza of the college campus he saw Y/N talking to Max. He knew that Y/N just agreed to go on a date with Max by just the stupid ass grin on his stupid ass face. Jealousy quickly shot up Ethan’s body the same it did Friday night.

Max has been on Ethan’s death list for a while now. It took everything in Ethan to not go over there and kill that son of a bitch. It took everything in Ethan to not go over there and punch Max in the face and tell him that Y/N belongs to him. The only thing that made Ethan feel a little better was the fake smile Y/N was giving Max.

Right when Max walked away from her, she dropped the smile and Ethan quickly walked over to her. “You’re seriously going along with Tara’s stupid ass plan?” Ethan said to her trying his best to hide his jealousy. “I’m only going along with half of the plan.” Y/N told him which quickly confused Ethan. “What do you mean by only doing half of the plan?” Ethan asked her in confusion. “I’m going to welcome Max to my darkside.” Y/N told him as her lips curved up into a smirk.

Before Ethan could say anything else Y/N walked away from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night Ethan was in the alley way next to Max’s apartment building in his Ghostface costume. He knows Y/N isn’t going to do what she’s planning till the date comes so Ethan is going to take Max out before the date. Plus, he doesn’t know what Y/N meant by showing Max her darkside. Ethan knows he’s playing with fire killing Max as Ghostface and if he gets caught it will ruin his families’s revenge plan, but he needs to make sure that this date never happens, and this is his only solution.

Ethan heard a car door close, so he perked out of the alley way and saw Max walk into the apartment building. Ethan knew it was go time so he started to make his way up the fire escape. When he got to the right fire escape, he quietly opened the window that was to Max’s bedroom. Before Ethan climbed through the window, he heard two-gun shots which made him jump. Ethan climbed through the window and quietly closed it.

Ethan made his way to Max’s living room to see Max laying in a pool of his own blood on the hard wood floor. Max had one gunshot wound to the chest and the other one right through the middle of his forehead. “What the fuck?” Ethan said with a mixture of confusion and shock in his voice. “Well, look what we have here.” Ethan heard a familiar voice say from behind him. When he turned around, he saw Y/N standing there holding a gun in her left hand.

“Really, Ethan? Ghostface? Are we in a fucking Stab movie?” Y/N asked him. Ethan took off his mask. “That’s a long story.” Ethan told her. “So, you have a darkside, too?” Y/N said looking him up and down. “Doesn’t everybody.” Ethan told her. “Agree to disagree.” Y/N told him. “I couldn’t wait till the date to show him my darkside.” Y/N said putting her gun away in the pocket that was inside her jacket.

“You know.” Y/N started as she walked closer to him. Ethan’s heart rate sped up at every step Y/N took towards him. “I never thought that Ghostface was sexy till now. Seeing you in this costume is really turning me on.” Y/N told him look up at him him with lust in her eyes. Y/N put her right hand flat on his chest and started rubbing it lightly which was quickly turning him on as well. Seeing this side of Y/N was making Ethan’s obsession grown more for her.

Before either one of them could start to lean in they heard police sirens. “Shit! They got called quicker than I thought!” Y/N hissed taking her hand off Ethan’s chest. “Come on!” Ethan said grabbing her hand. He led her into Max’s bedroom. “We can go down the fire escape.” Ethan told her letting go of hand to open the window. He let her climb through the window and then he followed her out onto the fire escape. After Ethan quietly shut the window, they carefully made their way down the fire escape.

When they got onto the ground it was Y/N’s turn to grab Ethan’s hand. Ethan let her drag him by the hand down the alley way to the back-alley way behind all of the buildings. They passed by five buildings to get to Y/N’s car that was parked in the back-alley way. Y/N let go of Ethan’s hand to get her car keys out of her pants pocket. After she unlocked her car Y/N got into the driver’s seat while Ethan got into the passenger seat.

Right after Ethan closed the car door Y/N grabbed him and smashed their lips together. It didn’t take long from the kiss to turn into a make out session. They continued to make out till they needed air.

“My place or yours?” Y/N asked him once she caught her breath. “Mine.” Ethan answered. Y/N started up her car. She backed out of the alley way and sped down the street.

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 6

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 4K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

This one's a little longer than the last few, but it's one I was really excited to get to for a while. I hope you guys like it! We're starting to get into the nitty gritty! Once again please let me know what you think of it! Thank you all for your support :)

__________

After your emotional conversation with Pedro, you were worried he'd stop talking to you. At least, it seems that's how it usually works. Whenever you try to have a conversation about emotions with someone, it gets shut down. But surprisingly.. it didn't push Pedro away at all. The two of you talk nearly every day on the phone, and when you don't, it's made up for with plenty of text messages. You don't even have to be the first to communicate, either. It just feels natural. It doesn't need to be over-thought.

You keep telling yourself not to get your hopes up, but at the same time, you feel like maybe it's turning into something. Something more than friends. You couldn't help but wonder if Pedro felt the same way, or if maybe he's just a really nice guy.

Despite these feelings, you're still hesitant to tell him you love him. Although he put many of your fears to rest, you continued to be nervous. You were inexperienced. You were significantly younger than him. You led two very different lives. And even though he reassured you about your appearances, it doesn't mean you'd be his type once he actually saw you. Shoot, you don't even know if he's interested in pursuing a relationship.

Plus, now there's the risk of messing up a new friendship. Why ruin it?

How does anyone ever get into a relationship? Others make it look so easy, jumping from relationship to relationship like their heart isn't at stake.

Maybe someday you'd tell him. Maybe someday you'd share these other fears as well. But not yet. You weren't ready.

_____

About a week had gone by since you first talked on the phone, and it was around 1 PM when he called you.

"Hey Pedro!"

"Hey there, songbird," he replied cheerily.

"Songbird?" You giggled.

"If you hate it-"

"No, I love it. It's sweet," you blushed.

"Okay good. But the reason I'm calling is because I saw something on Instagram…"

"Oh yeah? What of?"

"About you. When were you going to tell me?"

Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh what? What is he referring to?

You nervously laughed "I… what? Tell you what now?"

"Your album is coming out in a WEEK!??!" He practically yelled with excitement.

Seriously… this guy. Giving me a damn heart attack.

"OH" you replied sheepishly. "You scared me, thinking you heard… I dunno"

"Oh! I'm sorry. No. I haven't heard any information that you haven't told me yourself, nor would I believe it anyway. Other than.. this album!!!" Pedro announced like a gameshow host.

You laughed before replying "yes, yes, the album comes out next week! They just announced it I guess."

Pedro clapped and shouted. "CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'm so happy and proud of you!!!!!!!!"

You weren't looking in a mirror, and he couldn't see you either, but you could bet money that your cheeks were a bright shade of pink. "Thank you, Pedro!" You giggled, your face beginning to hurt from the large smile he caused.

"How are you celebrating? Is the studio doing anything for you?"

"Well they mentioned an album release party, but being that nobody really knows me I don't know who I would even invite. Plus I'm not sure that a large thing like that is how I'd like to show myself to the world. A little too ceremonious for my liking." You grimaced.

"Well, I happen to think you deserve something ceremonious, even if you don't think you do. And I think we should celebrate."

"We - you - you do? You mean…?" You stuttered in disbelief.

"You and me," he said matter-of-factly.

"You.. and… What did you have in mind?" 

Frankly you didn't know what to think.

"Well. I was thinking… Maybe we could listen to the album together? We could talk on the phone and listen, and it would be like our own little album release party. You wouldn't have to show yourself or meet people. It would just be like our normal conversations. Except I'd get to hear your new music and talk about it with you. If you want," he said, sounding slightly nervous.

Your heart swelled at the gesture and you agreed happily. The two of you made a plan to "meet" at 7PM and listen together the night of your album release. And he promised he wouldn't listen without you.

_____

It wasn't until after you were off the phone with him that you began to overthink the songs on your album. Not unlike your first single, these were also rather vulnerable at times. Sure, he knew a lot, and he'd listen to the album anyway. Probably. But still. To hear it… together? You were starting to feel like you were in over your head.

Nevertheless, the week continued on like normal. Work, talking to Pedro, hanging with Skipper. You agreed to a few more interviews in article or voice format after the release, and signed a few last minute things.

As the album date approached closer, Pedro texted you one day.

"Okay I'm going to ask you something and I want you to trust me okay. I'm not going to do anything that I know you would hate."

"Okay…" what does this man have up his sleeve?

"Can I have your address?"

Why does he want my address???? The panic settled in. But, you did like him; and he hadn't crossed any boundaries yet. In fact, he's been one of the most understanding of your qualms.

So. You sent him your address.

"Thank you ❤️" Pedro replied.

A heart !?! A red one!? 

"You're welcome. Also… I was planning to tell you anyway, but if you're looking for my address I may as well tell you…" you told him your real name. Not your stage name. Not a nickname. But your name. First, Last. All of it.

"Thank you for trusting me. I promise I'll keep it safe," reassured Pedro.

"Thank you, P."

"Of course. You have a beautiful name, by the way."

Your heart did a somersault.

_____

The album release date was finally here and you aren't sure you slept a wink. You were a bundle of nerves and excitement. You loved him and always enjoyed chatting together. This was exciting. But also these songs are so personal. This is a big moment. This was a big plan. And why did he want your address anyway?

~~~~~

Meanwhile at Pedro's place, he was just as nervous. He had started out excited, but then he got into his head. His plans for the evening started feeling too romantic. He didn't want you to get the wrong idea. He liked you, but he didn't want to push it. Maybe he was showing too many feelings towards you. You love someone else, and him not respecting that is rude. All you want is a friend and he's just going to seem like another one of those creepy guys trying to get into your pants.

But it was too late now, the plans were in motion, and maybe you'd enjoy it. Who knows. Either way, he loved your friendship, and friends could do this kind of thing for each other… right??

~~~~~

Throughout the day, you paced your house before finally leaving with Skipper in tow. "We gotta get some air, buddy. I'm losing it over here," you said while clipping his leash.

Stepping out of the house, you two went for a long walk, circled back toward home, and plopped down on your lawn. The house still felt too small in preparation for this evening, whatever it was. Why does it feel different anyway? It's just another phone call..? Unless….

Truth be told, while Pedro had his secret plans, you also had some of your own. Whether you followed through with them or not was up to your nerves.

After some sunbathing with your pup, you both head inside. The sun was starting to set, and you realized it was getting closer to the meetup time you chose with Pedro.

_____

6 PM.

You stared at the TV, not really absorbing anything on the screen, but needing a distraction. This afternoon you opted for a show that Pedro was not in. For once, you needed to not see his handsome face. You needed something else. Half paying attention while picking at a hangnail, you jump out of your skin at the sight of your phone lighting up. Pedro texted.

"Picking out my outfit for tonight! Always important to look nice for celebration."

Shit… he's not coming over is he?! That's why he wanted my address?!

"Wait…" you pondered how to phrase your question without sounding like a panicked asshole, when all you wanted to say was "what the fuck do you MEAN!?!"

I'm not dressed. I'm in sweats and covered in dog hair. I don't have makeup on. Oh no.

"Wait… is that why you wanted my address?"

"Oh. Nooo, no no. No, sweet girl, don't worry. I'm not coming over unexpectedly and interrupting your hiding place. I just think it's still important to dress nice."

"Oh..Okay.."

It was around 6:15 when he texted a picture of himself wearing a white button up with a dark blue suit and matching tie. He wore dark-frame glasses and his hair was slightly tamed, but still showed his messy curls. He looked gorgeous.

But as you scanned his body you noticed that instead of dress shoes, he wore a pair of polka dot socks. He had a goofy grin and his one eyebrow was cocked. You grinned.

"All dressed up and nowhere to go," he said.

"You're a goof, P. But I appreciate the effort."

A pause.

"Also, you look really handsome" you nervously hit send before you had a chance to chicken out.

Bold. Probably shouldn't have said that. But hey, friends compliment each other.

"Why thank you. A big accomplishment like this requires all the stops."

He timed this message right to the minute. As you read his text, your doorbell rang.

You opened the door to find two boxes. One large, one small. A delivery boy was getting into his car. 

"Delivery from your biggest fan. 

-❤️, P"

He… he sent me some kind of care package?? And put a heart? And said he's my biggest fan?

You squealed and carried the boxes into the house. "What's this!?" You texted Pedro.

"Open them and see!"

You immediately open them. Inside the larger box was a variety of items. The first thing you noticed was a small vase holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. To the right of that was a bag, which you opened and found your favorite meal, from your favorite restaurant. 

Wow, this is elaborate. 

Below the food was another small bag holding your favorite dessert, and finally to the left, your favorite drink.

I can't believe he remembered all of my favorite things.. This is so thoughtful.

When you moved the flower vase, you noticed one more small item. Is that a… corsage?? You texted Pedro the question.

"Yep!" He sent, with a photo of a matching flower on his lapel.

Remembering you still had the small box, you opened the box flaps, wondering what could possibly be left for him to give you. On top of it was another note.

"For a handsome boy.

- ❤️, your mom's friend, Pedro"

Under the note was a jar of peanut butter, a squeaky anchor toy, and…? What's this?

You unwrap a small paper wrapping to find a dog-sized black bowtie. Shut up.

"SKIPPER!!! Look what Pedro gave you, buddy!"

He padded over to you and let you hook the dressy accessory around his neck. With the clip adjusted, he sat back, looking proud of his new fashion. You quickly snapped a picture and texted it to Pedro.

"I can't believe you did all this, Pedro. Not only did you send all this, but you remembered my favorite things? You remembered all the details from when I first met Skipper. My favorite food, dessert, drink, and flower? That's so sweet, this is all too much Pedro..  Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. I.. I don't even know what to say."

You're amazing and I love you. Is what I want to say.

"You're welcome." He texted back. "Like I said, you deserve a celebration. Plus…"

Pedro sent a photo of his table, set up with the same food and drink, with the caption "now it's like we're having a dinner party."

It was nearing the time to meet, but you still had to do one more thing. You had pondered it earlier in the day, but fully decided it when Pedro sent the photo of himself dressed up. It's now or never.

_____

6:45 PM.

Pedro sat waiting for a reply after he sent his dinner photo. It had only been a couple minutes, but his hands were sweaty and his leg was shaking under the table. Finally, his phone went off. You sent… a video?

He opened it and pressed play. There, he saw you rotating your wrist with the corsage on it. The first time he's ever seen your wrist, hand, or arm before. The first time he's even seen your skin tone.

Geez you act like you're in the Victorian ages, pull yourself together, he rolled his eyes at himself for being so overjoyed.

Next, the video panned to Skipper in his bowtie, looking handsome as ever. The camera zoomed in on him and he looked up into the view with his big brown eyes. 

And then…

The camera panned to the side, and showed a mirror. A full length mirror, where you stood. He scanned your body from your perfectly done up hair and makeup, down your body to your dress. You wore your favorite dress, (in your favorite color, he noted) which showed off your body in the best ways. He looked down to the floor and noticed that you too were wearing fun socks instead of shoes. You wore a pair of striped socks and wrote in your caption "all dressed up and nowhere to go."

His heart picked up and he could feel himself breathing unevenly. He finally saw you. And you were gorgeous. He couldn't help the smile that enveloped his face.

Fuck. She's beautiful… I'm screwed. 

She loves someone else. She loves someone else. She loves someone else. Forget your feelings.

Despite his struggle, he knew he wanted, and needed, to tell you how beautiful he thought you looked. This was a big step to show yourself, and he also knew how self-conscious you felt about your body.

"Wow, you're so beautiful."

You blushed, replying with a quick thank you with a heart, then sending a second message asking if he was ready to listen. The video wasn't the only trick you had planned up your sleeve tonight.

______

The clock turned to 7 PM and Pedro hit the dial for your number. You answered the phone and said a quick "hang on" to set up the shared listening party link for your album. Once sent, you took a deep breath and steadied your nerves. Then, you took the plunge.

"Okay I got the link! I'm so exci - what - wait, is this an accident?" Pedro's hand fumbled as he received your incoming video chat request, his heart picking up to a galloping pace.

"Nope! You can answer it. If you want.."

He quickly swiped the accept button and there you were. Clad in your favorite dress, sitting at a table with the meal he sent in front of you. He could see himself in the corner square, dressed in his suit, with nearly the identical table setup and food.

He couldn't help but notice on his own video screen that his cheeks were turning rosy and his mouth curled into a large smile. But he was too happy to be shy about his blush.

"So this is you," he said.

"This is me," you replied shyly, but still with a huge smile and blush plastered on your face, matching Pedro's.

"You look.." he sighed shakily "..wow.."

"You look pretty wow yourself there," you said with a shy giggle.

Both of you let out gentle laughs, feeling a warm glow as your stomachs felt matching butterflies of nerves, excitement, and… maybe something else.

"So should we listen, I guess?" You asked nervously.

He didn't answer. He was looking at the screen, eyes scanning the video. 

Is he blushing? You wondered. But why would he be? He doesn't like me back… right?

He still hadn't answered you when you finally said "Pedro?? Did you hear me?"

He snapped out of it, somehow turning more crimson. "Oh! Sorry… yeah! Let's listen."

Your nerves were off the charts. Some of these songs were so vulnerable. The ones at the end of the album were the most telling of all.

But as the two of you ate your dinners while listening to your new album, you began to relax. The night was filled with him giving praise and you giving background information on the meanings and production of the songs. 

"Are all the different instruments and harmonies played by you?"

"They are! The studio offered studio musicians but I had originally played them all when I wrote it and wanted to keep it a one woman show."

"You're incredible," Pedro said, shaking his head.

You blushed, for the billionth time today.

When it came to "Imaginary Love" Pedro grinned. "Hey I know this one! The one that started it all." 

"Yep!" You agreed and he began lip syncing to the lyrics dramatically. Little did he know, those lyrics were actually about him. You giggled as he acted out a soulful rendition of the chorus.

"You know, this whole journey has been a real rollercoaster and there have been times I've wished I hadn't posted that song..."

Pedro looked at you with that puppy dog look of his and you continued "but then I remember… that if I never posted it, I would've never started talking to you, and it makes it all worth it."

Pedro placed his hand on his heart and pouted his lip. "I agree. I'm glad to have met you. If I didn't love this song already, that alone would be enough reason for me to consider it one of my favorites.

You grinned and looked down at the table, suddenly feeling shy. The two of you continued to listen, having long finished your dinner. Conversation flowed easily, and you couldn't help but feel like you were on a date. Not that you had much experience with that, but from what you'd seen in movies and shows, this felt very date-like. And you didn't want it to end.

But as the album went on, you approached the last two songs. The ones you were scared of most. The most vulnerable of the album. 

The second to last began to play.

'It's hard to imagine craving something that I've never had.

Dumb to be so desperate for something I've gone without.

But when I'm alone and thinking to myself, I need it so bad.

I crave it like a drug, but one I know nothing about.

Your kiss on my lips, or any kiss at all.

It hasn't happened yet, no matter how hard I fall.

The years keep passing, but still no love.

The years go by, but still no kisses.

I keep wondering and praying up above,

I guess I'm unkissable, despite my wishes.'

Pedro furrowed his brow, looking at you, searching for something. He read the title of the song, "Unkissable," and looked up again, opening and closing his mouth to find the right words.

"Do-" he stopped himself and pondered his wording again. "Is- are all these songs true?"

You stared at the table, picking your nail against the wood. "Yes."

"You really believe that?"

"... I mean… I don't know… maybe… I guess…" you avoided his gaze, but could feel it.

"And you've never-"

"Kissed anyone before? No. I haven't."

"But you've wanted to?"

"Yes," you whispered, starting to feel tears prick at your eyes.

Pedro shifted his lips to the side in thought before finally saying "well… you're still young. It'll happen."

"I'm 26, Pedro. Most people have kissed by the time they've graduated high school. I just… missed the boat I guess. It's okay. I'm just being silly. I don't want it that bad. We can maybe listen to something else now."

"Hey, hey. Don't shut down on me," he asked pleadingly. "26 is still very young, and don't worry about whenever everyone else has done things. Everyone does things at their own pace. I'm sorry you haven't experienced it yet, especially when you want it so badly, but I know that when it does happen, it'll probably be better than any kiss you would've had with some 15 year old boy you would've had in high school."

You laughed, breaking your tears for a minute. "Thanks Pedro."

"Of course. And hey, don't think of yourself as unkissable. Any guy should be so lucky to be with you. Maybe the guy you wrote about in your song will be your first."

"Maybe… I hope so. Thank you."

While your heart bloomed at the kind words and prospect of maybe kissing Pedro in the future, Pedro's heart began to ache. Not only was he sad for you when you wanted love so desperately, but he also couldn't help but feel sad hearing you want to kiss another man. He wants to be that guy for you. He wasn't joking when he said any man would be lucky. But especially knowing now your true age, 22 years younger than him, he knew for sure your crush couldn't be him. You were way too young to be interested in a 48 year old man. He was silly for even entertaining the idea.

But at least he had a new friend. And as he thought longer, he thought about his best friend Sarah, and her relationship. They have a huge age gap, 32 years, but they're happy. And he's happy for her. It doesn't feel weird with them. Could he have that with you? Or is he in over his head?

The last song on the album began to play. This one was less vulnerable, but if he decided to look at the lyrics and notice patterns, he'd see it in the chorus. 

'People have a lot to say

Everyone loves or hates me

Don't know what I did today

Right now you're all I can see

Only want to be with you.

Please, love me too.'

You're sure the obsessive listeners will figure out the acrostic, and if Pedro looks up the lyrics, he might too. But either way, it's out there. All you can do is hope for the best and eventually you're sure it'll come out anyway.

 This wasn't one you were sure about putting on the album, but when the studio read through your personal songbook, they went insane over it. They figured it out quickly, and they promised they'd keep it to themselves. Luckily they have so far, but if money came calling, you think they'd sell your heart faster than you could say no.

The song, and album, came to a close and Pedro looked up at the screen once again, staring into your eyes. "Once again your music has blown me away."

Whether he put together the end or not, he wasn't letting on.

"Thank you Pedro. I really appreciate it. And thank you for tonight. It was truly special and I mean it when I say it's the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. You didn't have to go through all that trouble," you said thoughtfully.

"It was no trouble. You deserve congratulations for your album," Pedro replied with a smile.

Right.. it's just a congratulations. Nothing else. You sighed.

"Thank you. I'm really glad we did this. Talk again soon?" You asked.

"Absolutely. It was wonderful to meet you finally," Pedro said, finishing the sentence with your real name and smiling.

"It was great to meet you too, Pedro."

__________

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading.

Looking for more? Next chapter!

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

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[re-re-redline]

-Yandere Headcanons: Constantine XI-

No Spoilers for Traum

Foreword: Sooo… This may seem a tad bit jarring. However! I implore anyone who is unsure to please give this a chance. Think of this as just adding a new texture to the cube we’re rotating in our minds. It’ll be a solid thought exercise and it’ll add a new dimension to Constantine’s character. Why do I say this? Well. This list of headcanons isn’t framed as though Micheal just up and went yandere one day or that this is a brand new universe where he just is one. Nope. I shall describe how Constantine becomes a monster and then we’ll branch off into a more…guide-esque list of things to know, like the Romance Headcanons. I think that’d be much more interesting than the alternatives.

Hehe, if the RHCs were the guide to getting his route and the CHCs being the true ending, then this is definitely the bad ending. Perhaps the worst ending, even.

Convinced? I’d hope so! But I should mention, that since these are yandere headcanons… Gore, drugging, kidnapping, abuse, references to suicide, and obsessive behavior are on the ticket in terms of warnings. So if you are not comfortable, please exit and perhaps peruse my other headcanons if you feel so inclined. I have made a lil’ masterlist in my pinned post for my other written works for the sake of convenience.

I would also like to state that I do not condone any of this behavior and this is purely for entertainment and fanfiction reasons.

That being said, I hope you all enjoy.

How The Hell Did This Happen?

There is a specific kind of master who would drive our friend here off the deep end simply by following their heart. That very specific kind of master would be none other than…a hero of justice. The type of individual who values the lives of others more than their own and will stop at nothing to save everybody, that is the master who would end up with this version of Constantine unintentionally.

Constantine, after losing everything a very long time ago, has but only one thing to live for and that is none other than you. You are the most important person in his life right now, not only because he needs you to stay materialized, but because of what you represent. You are one of the last humans on earth, you are the one who’s going to save the world and humanity’s future. You are, in no uncertain terms, proof that there is hope in this paper white nightmare. If Constantine can help you achieve your goal, then maybe…just maybe his people, his family—God even, can forgive him for what he did all those centuries ago. It’s a selfish reason to put in his a-game and he knows it, but you don’t have to know that. You don’t have to know that he’s using his newfound contract with you to obtain forgiveness for his sins. But fear not. As time moves forward and he gets to know you, he realizes that his initial reasoning has been outshined by a fondness for his master and a desire to see you well—to see you happy, and such affections are what twist the knife when it comes to your way of being.

Your heroic personality, while coming from a good place, is something that often leads to you getting injured. Almost to the brink of death at times. And try as he may to prevent it, you just can’t help yourself but tackle one of your servants out of the way when the ‘need’ arises. He’s been on the receiving end of one of your rushes more times than he can count and he feels just as terrible and confused as the first time it happened. He just doesn’t get it. Why is someone as normal and weak as you on the frontlines putting in their everything when you have such powerful servants to fight for you? Why are you trying so hard to protect them when it’s you who’s liable to die if the wind so much as blows the wrong way? Why are you denying him his purpose—his chance at forgiveness and throwing it right back in his face by letting yourself get hurt like this? He doesn’t understand it. Fuck, the more time he spends with you on the field the less he thinks he understands you as a person.

Eventually, he’ll get so sick of having to practically carry your limp form to the infirmary all the time that he’ll grip you by the shoulders one day before you go out and sternly tell you to stay behind him or there will be consequences. This is the most bold and stern he’s ever been with you since his summoning, so you bet your ass that he’s not playing around this time. Now knowing ‘you,’ you’re probably going to at least give the idea the good old college try before saying fuck it and reverting back to your old ways. We wouldn’t be able to continue otherwise.

This is the starting incident, this is what you can point to later on and say “Ah, so that’s where it all went wrong.” Granted, this is not the point of no return. You still have time to get out and back onto the right track. Just know that Constantine won’t be letting you pull this kind of shit as freely as you used to and so long as you genuinely try to get better, then this scenario will not come to pass.

But getting better is not what we’re here for, so let’s talk about what happens after this incident. After you’re taken care of, Micheal heads back to his room to ruminate on things. He starts asking himself the real questions like: “Why are you like this? What happened to you to make you think that this is okay? Is he the problem? Is he not doing enough? Do you not think he or anyone else is capable of protecting you?” So on and so forth until he gets tired and decides to sleep on it.

The next day is when he pulls you aside to have a serious conversation addressing three of those questions. Depending on the master, the answers could be any number of things. You could be someone who lost their loved ones and are coping with the survivor’s guilt by throwing yourself in front of anybody you can find to assuage your guilt. You could be someone who never had a family or friends to begin with and found that love here at Chaldea which prompted you to hold every last person here as close to your chest as you can in fear of losing that warmth. Maybe you were raised by someone with such values and this is the only way you know how to do things, leaving you unable to fathom the idea of being saved. Or maybe… Maybe you’re using this ‘hero of justice’ thing to obfuscate your true intentions. Maybe you just want to die but don’t have the heart to do it yourself or be held responsible for it, so you play up the guise of a self sacrificing hero to accomplish that goal without taking any of the blame. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Whether you disclose your reasoning or not is, ultimately, irrelevant for this scenario. It’d be heartwarming for you both to have a moment here and for him to allude to his own struggles to help you feel like you’re not alone. To tell you that you have him at your side and while he may not either know or completely understand what you’re going through, he’s here for you and he’s struggling alongside you all the same. He’s here when you need him, in any capacity that you need him. That would be such a nice ending, wouldn’t it? Dare I say it’d make for an excellent longfic. …But that’s not what we’re here for. So, let’s take whatever moment you did or did not have and forget it because it doesn’t matter. You’re not going to change, and that’s what pulls us forward.

Time passes and Constantine can only find himself helplessly watching you slowly whittle yourself away. After the inciting conversation, he had tried several times after to talk to you and to get you to see his everyone else’s perspective. He tries telling you about how much it hurts him others to watch you get hurt like this all the time. How he everyone is constantly worried about you and he’s they’re terrified of the day that you’ll crumble in on yourself. Notice how he never directly tells you about his own feelings, he frames all of his statements as coming from everyone else with the barest implication that he feels the same. This isn’t the Confession Headcanons scenario where he wants to be a more honest person, Micheal still has his head up his ass and refuses to let you see the true extent of how much you’re hurting him. The man himself doesn’t see anything wrong with this, but you with your lacking knowledge of the man’s inner workings don’t see the why behind it. Instead it comes off as him being self-righteous and lecturing you about something he seemingly doesn’t care for considering how he never references himself. It looks like he’s talking out of his ass about shit he knows nothing about and is nagging you for the sake of nagging you. A more keen eyed master would call him out for being a hypocrite since he does the same thing that you do but for some reason believes himself to be in the right since he’s a servant and that this is his job. With such harsh words and misunderstandings, the friendship between you two is beginning to strain. But with Constantine’s attachment to you as a person and his original ulterior motive, he isn’t giving up on you just yet.

If he can’t get you to change of your own volition, then he’ll just have to change you himself. This is where the yandere part begins coming to fruition, though it should be noted that this all started with good intentions. The plan was to get you to realize that it’s not a bad thing to rely on others by forcing you to accept his assistance. Once he’s gotten you to realize that it’s not only okay to allow it but that it can also feel good to have that weight lifted off your shoulders it’ll, in turn, warm you up to letting your servants and himself protect you, thus minimizing the amount of injuries you receive on sorties. Like I said, good intentions.

But the proverbial snowball has already started rolling downhill, gaining mass and speed. While this is not the point of no return, if things don’t change substantially on your end then you can kiss the true ending goodbye. That being said, let’s continue as though such improvements never happened.

His plan starts off small. He waits for you outside your room in the morning one day and walks with you to the cafeteria to eat breakfast. You grab your tray and he grabs his, the two of you walking over to get your respective meals. Normally you two would've split off, but today is different. Constantine walks with you to wherever you’re going and just when you’re about to reach for what you want, Micheal beats you to the punch and puts it on your plate. He does this for every item and upon questioning, he simply smiles and tells you that he just felt like it.

Slowly but surely, Constantine starts doing things for you. He was already helping you out before with small things like holding the door for you or helping you carry things, but it’s never been this…invasive. Thanks to the time you two have spent together, Micheal has a decent grip on being able to predict your next move or what you’d want. He’s not nearly as observant or looking nearly as hard at you as a certain sultan does, but it’s enough for his little plan to function in the beginning.

But as time goes on and you remain unchanged, still tactlessly throwing yourself to the wolves, Constantine ups his game a bit more. He slowly starts encroaching into your routine, popping up out of the blue to assist you with things you never once asked for help for. Thus you see him much more often than ever before and he learns more about you, your strained friendship seemingly starting to heal in your eyes with how kind Constantine is being. What you don’t realize is that you’re slowly being boiled like the frog you’ve heard so much about in that one analogy. This isn’t healing, this is something twisted and it’s slowly encircling you.

On Constantine’s end, he’s surprisingly having a great time. While he didn’t think that it’d be a chore to pull this off, he also didn’t think that he’d be enjoying himself as much as he is either. There’s something about getting you food everyday, helping you fold and hang up your clothes, and walking you to places that stirs something within his heart. It makes him feel warm and fulfilled but try as he might, he just can’t put a name to it. But I can, and the word he’s purposefully ignoring—because that would mean admitting that he has a problem—is domesticity. There’s an inherent domestic quality to those actions and it scratches the itch he’s had for decades, his desire for a family. If he doesn’t see you as the spouse he misses dearly, then he’ll see you as the child he never got to have.

His chance at being a husband and a father were ripped from him twice over, and to add salt onto the wound his best friend got his own family with none of the agony that Constantine had to go through. He’d sit there burying his fingernails into his palms in envy as George would talk on and on in glee about his wife and his kids, unknowingly rubbing Constantine’s loss in his face. But don’t get it twisted, Constantine did feel happy for George and was all around thankful that his best friend didn’t have to lose anything, hell, he was even the godfather to George’s kids and pitched in to take care of them when he could. But there was an underlying envy all the same and now that he’s getting the domesticity he’s been dreaming of, Constantine can’t help but want more.

So he takes it.

The word encroaching no longer suits his actions as he’s practically inserting himself into your routine so thoroughly to the point where every part of your schedule involves him in some capacity. At this point, you’ve probably already gotten used to Constantine constantly being around you, so you barely notice his increased presence. This is no longer about helping you learn to accept aid from others, this is now an attack on your independence. The sweet allure of having, in an entirely roundabout way, the life he could only dream of has made him selfish. Constantine’s new objective is to make you dependent on him for nearly everything. This way he’ll always have a place by your side and he’ll never be pushed aside in favor of something or someone else. He’ll take care of you, just like any husband or father would do and you’ll always be loved by him. You’ll never want for anything ever again because you’ll have Constantine and that’ll be all you’ll need, plus he’s sure that you’re all he needs too. So you’ll never have to worry about being replaced. This is his twisted idea of a domestic life that no one can take from him, a domestic life that’s for him and him alone. A nice ‘happy ending’ that was long overdue, but was achieved through forcing you to be dependent on him for everything and suffocating you with his presence. How sad what Constantine has become and what he’s turned you into.

What Kind of Yandere is He?

What I would first like to reiterate and clearly state for the people in the back is that Yandere!Constantine is entirely preventable. This is not the inevitable conclusion to his character in relation to you but rather a direct result of your actions or lack thereof. The consequences—the quencies even, to your actions if you will.

That being said, Constantine XI as a yandere is not one of the worst to have but definitely not the best. You’d live pretty comfortably…to an extent. Your personal freedom, independence and free time have all been commandeered by Micheal but at least you’re not locked in the basement or dealing with broken bones. On the bright side, at least you don’t have to put much effort into anything thanks to Constantine’s suffocating presence. So lazy masters can rejoice at only having to put only half of the work into things. Plus, with the way he goes about changing your life, you might not even notice it in the first place! So, uh, take those wins where you can get them.

As for what he is as a yandere… Well, for the sake of having a direction, I’ll state the archetype he’d fit under and elaborate further. He’s the overprotective-possessive type of yandere who starts off not that bad but has the potential to get so, so much worse. Let’s start with the first half of that statement.

Constantine before this scenario was already a protective man, it’s practically baked into his Spirit Origin for crying out loud, but it’s cranked up to an eleven here. The way that he sees things and other people has been twisted by his decline in sanity thanks to none other than you. He hurts so bad when you push him out of the way to take a hit that was meant for him and the repetition of this happening along with the fact that he’s consistently failing to protect you is what got the ball rolling in the first place. So. In an effort to prevent that scenario from happening, Constantine has gotten much more brutal in battle. He always had an air of class and elegance in his fighting style that befit his title of Roman Emperor, but now? Now he’s fighting like he’s going to die in five minutes and is trying to take as many people as he can down with him. He also talks significantly less as a result of this change, only breaking his silence to bark orders or check to see if everyone’s okay. If anyone comes up to him after the dust settles and asks what’s up with him than he’ll ‘sheepishly’ apologize and state that he’s just taking things more seriously now, so don’t take it too personal, ‘kay? …This shift, as time goes on, will also apply outside of battle but not in the way that you’d think.

Let me give an example to illustrate. Say Constantine was heading to your room to get you something you forgot and in there he finds…oh, I dunno, Kiyohime? Really, any person who’s in your room when they’re not supposed to be works... But anyways, he finds her and in the event that she doesn’t leave when he asks her to… Well that’s when things get ugly. Instead of gently dragging her out or calling for aid like he’d normally do, Constantine immediately engages her. And the resulting fight is a mess with Micheal not holding anything back and Kiyohime presumably doing the same. The battle will only end if Kiyohime flees, Constantine gets his ass beat, or a third party ends it for them. If an outsider were to watch the scene unfold, they’d think Constantine was really trying to kill her.

His brutality on the battlefield has leaked into his time off it with the way he treats everyone in relation to you. Bad influences, dangerous people, nosy and peeping toms—they all get the axe equally, which would make one question if he really sees his fellow servants as allies or not. …Which they aren’t, of course. They’re either problems he has to ‘correct’ on a daily basis or your subordinates who he fights with occasionally. They pale in comparison to you, the unfortunate subject of his obsession with the life he never got to have. This dehumanization is something that comes slowly and the man himself doesn’t quite realize how he’s drifted off from his friends and acquaintances. But that’s fine. He has you and he only needs you, likewise that you have him and need only him, right?

Sooner or later, Constantine’s usual paranoia regarding the fact that you might die soon will have morphed into a general distrust for anyone that isn’t himself or you, and that manifests in several different ways but namely…

Possessiveness. There are quite a few servants who boldly proclaim their undying love for you and it makes him sick with jealousy. How dare these people who barely know you act like they’re a better fit for you than him? He’s your protector, your wall and the one you cling onto at all times when you’re in distress. The only person who is allowed to have you is him because he earned it and you prefer him over everyone else anyways, right? …Right?

While anyone could be the source of the green in his eyes, there is one servant who he constantly curses because they are for you what he is not. And that servant is none other than your kouhai, Mash. She is your first servant, your closest friend and has been with you since the very beginning. Your tight bond with Mash and the implicit trust that comes with it far outshines what he had with you in the beginning and has with you now. Even if everyone else in your life despises you or you despise everyone else (which he’d like very much), there will always be a spot for Mash. Mash will always be there for you and the profound impact she’s had on you cannot be understated. Bad as that is, he also envies her for her class and what that class represents.

Shielder. The physical embodiment of protection, the ultimate bulwark and the class that specializes solely in defense. That class should be his and yet here Constantine is as a Rider. His final years on earth were devoted solely to saving Rome and he put his everything—blood, sweat, and tears into it. Yes, he did fail in the end but that shouldn’t disqualify him from being one! …It’s not fair. It’s not fair that Mash was handed this class on a silver platter (not true) for doing nothing (very not true) while he’s stuck as a Rider for doing everything he could and failing!

Needless to say that Constantine, despite knowing deep down that it’s not possible, will be trying to drive a wedge in between you two and his deep envy for Mash is making him less subtle about it. He’s visibly stiff and passive aggressive around her, not even sparing your kouhai a glance. The tension in the room could only be cut with a saw due to the difference in how softly he treats you versus Mash. It’s awkward for everyone involved and Micheal hopes that this awkwardness is enough to get you to give up on her. He is all the protection you could ever need, just look at his Noble Phantasm. How many servants do you know who can break through it? Not that many.

There is also something to be said about how his usual denial is doing in this scenario. See, not once did the thought that Constantine may be hurting you or making you worse ever cross his mind. Constantine’s actions come from a genuine place of love and care, a desire to see you happy and well. That has not changed and will never ever change. Seriously. He loves you to an extremely unhealthy degree and cannot imagine being without you or hurting you. …That being said, he doesn’t think himself to be the bad guy in this scenario. He’s so deeply entrenched in the euphoria of having a spouse again or a child that his morality and conscience were eroded in record time. This ‘domesticity’ has made his denial so bad that nothing he does to you is a bad thing and is beneficial for you in his mind. Constantine is a good man, always has been and always will be. Forgiveness? For what, he can’t quite recall. Though that word does invoke a rather strong sense of melancholy for reasons that our friend here doesn’t care enough to look further into. He has you, and that’s better than any forgiveness he could receive from anybody.

What is Expected?

Since there is a section ahead specifically addressing the romantic aspects of this scenario, I’ll be focusing on the more general ones here since Constantine as a yandere can be platonic.

Let’s start off by listing what we do know so far. He’s virtually glued to your hip, he’s coddling you to high hell and back with how he’s barely letting you do anything yourself, he’s low-key menacing people away from you, and he’s mauling anything that even remotely threatens your safety or his bond with you. That’s…well, it could be worse. No basement and all that, but again it’s not that good either.

The more time that passes, the more Constantine’s stuff ends up in your room. Like, he’ll give you a blanket, you’ll take it back to your room and when you give it back he’ll just tell you to keep it so you won’t be cold. Then he’ll be chilling in your room another day playing chess with you and when you pack up the board and hand it to him, he’ll just tell you to keep it there since you’re his chess partner and it’ll be more convenient in the future. Constantine frames this as him helping you, which he does truly believe, but really it’s just his subtle way of telling anyone entering your room that he’s the one with the privileges and his spot is right next to you and there is nothing they can do about it. You and him are really, really close is the message that he wants to send.

It’ll get to a point where your room consists of 50% or more of Constantine’s stuff. An outsider could easily mistake you two for roommates because of how natural it looks. Not only that, he’ll also start being in there more than in his own room and the sleeping bag on the floor proves it.

Now, while I have been saying that Micheal is with you all the time, he does have the inherent decency to respect your personal space and wishes as long as they don’t involve him being too far away from you. You could ask him to face away from you and not look at you, he’ll comply. You could ask him to hide under the bed to at least give you the illusion that you’re alone and he’ll comply. You could hide in the closet or the bathroom and so long as he knows you’re in there, he won’t bother you. …At least until you need to eat or do stuff and even then he won’t be sour about it.

The sleeping bag also proves that he respects your space because, while he never asked to sleep in your room, he never laid on your bed or even considered sleeping in it in the first place. He just assumed that you wouldn’t want him there. Now, if you offer it to him and say that you’ll sleep on the floor instead, he’ll deny you immediately. He says that he’s accustomed to sleeping on hard surfaces, as any military official should, and that the bed is better for you. Now, if your bed isn’t bolted to the floor, then he wouldn’t mind getting a bunkbed if you’re really feeling guilty about him on the floor. Just…don’t call dibs on the bottom bunk. He doesn’t feel comfortable being so close to the ceiling.

In terms of being coddled, independent masters are going to be in hell. He feeds you your food, he helps you put your coat on in the morning, he’ll cut you off when you’re halfway through writing a report and tells you to say what you were going to write next so he can write it for you, he insists on being the one to push the crosswalk button and he’ll hold your hand as you both cross the street—hell, this is a living hell for the self-sufficient because you are almost always going to be helped with something whether you like it or not. The first time you decline him, well he’ll just think you’re being cute and he’ll insist. The second is when he tells you that you don’t have to be shy, he’s happy to help. The third is when he tells you that there’s no shame in accepting help—ugh, so on and so forth. He’ll just keep gently poking and prodding you to give in and accept his help, not a grain of anger in sight. It’s so unintentionally patronizing that you’d almost want him to actually lash out at you so you don’t have to hear any more of his self-righteous cooing. And the worst part is that he genuinely believes that you’re just being super cute and shy about it. This isn’t an act, he’s being sincere and he’s loving every single second of this. This invasive and suffocating form of doting and care comes from a twisted mix of his Acts of Service love language and his desire for the domestic life that was stolen from him. After all, what’s more domestic than a father or a husband taking care of their loved one?

I’ve already gone into it in the previous section, but I’d like to add that Micheal is fully capable of murdering any of your servants and depending on who’s in your roster, he’d probably get away with it. This is, of course, a last resort. For all his madness, Constantine is still himself. He takes no joy in harming others and it brings him pain. But, you and his continued bond with you is worth the lives of an innumerable amount of people in his eyes. So if there really is a substantial threat to that, then he isn’t going to hesitate in removing that person from the mortal plane. Easiest decision he’s made, the weight of which will be lifted when he returns to your side once more.

It’d be comical how he destroys any slight threat to you if he wasn’t so utterly cold and ruthless about it. There is barely anything left of whatever tried to attack you, just a pool of blood and some chunks to indicate that there was, in fact, a pile of meat there. It’s a far cry from how he normally fights things and his usual ‘scaring away the hoes’ vibe that normally goes unnoticed in Chaldea has intensified to a degree that’s on par with the atmospheric shift in the second section of “What it Means to Protect You.” It’s THAT bad. To make things more unnerving, the moment he turns to look at you when the dust settles, he’s back to his ‘usual’ self and that aura has disappeared completely. He’s giving Okita a run for her money with how effortlessly he swaps from being Emperor Constantine XI back to your friend Micheal.

Now, if he detects that you’re starting to become afraid of him (and after seeing that who wouldn’t), then he’ll tone it down as best as he can. The denial is strong, but not strong enough for him to not be aware of the fact that he might be scaring you. In that event, he’ll gently grab you by the shoulders and swear to you that he’ll never ever hurt you like that. It’s just for your enemies and your enemies alone. …Whether this is a true statement or not ultimately depends on what the future holds.

How Do You Deal With Him?

This is surprisingly very easy. Just go along with it. You don’t have to love him back, you don’t have to coddle him in return, you just have to play along with his fantasy and you’ll be fine. Er… By you, I mean to say the people around you. See, Constantine will never attribute the fault to you and especially not to himself. It’s always something or someone else’s fault that anything bad happens. So. If you’re constantly acting out and trying to avoid him, it’s 100% someone sabotaging him and manipulating you. And when he finds this person, they’ll either be afraid of interacting with you in any capacity beyond work or they’ll be dead by the end of the month. The worst part is that the ‘culprit’ may not even exist and he just picks whoever has been pissing him off the most recently and applies the crime to them instead to have an excuse to get them out of his way. While denying that he’s murdering someone for petty reasons, of course. Does it make sense? Absolutely not. Is is supposed to? Absolutely not. We’re too far into the bad end route to be applying rationale to Micheal’s actions, he’s not sane and his composure is an illusion to hide how volatile he really is. That’s just the reality of this scenario.

So, as a general piece of advice, try not to hang out with the people you like the most because they’ll be one of the first on the chopping block when that scenario happens. Just roll with it and nobody has to get hurt or die. …From your direct actions, at least. And a bit of rebellion isn’t that bad anyways since it’s incredibly hard to piss him off for real. Like, you’d have to know some incredibly deep cuts on Micheal to actually pierce through that thick rose tinted pane covering his eyes to make him angry. But even then it’d just lead to him sulking in the corner for an hour before the denial kicks in and he just blocks out the memory of what you said to him. So you can’t even have that for yourself either.

What is the Best Case Scenario?

The best case scenario is just the two of you living out your lives together. Somehow, you’ve managed to balance keeping your loved ones close enough to be in your life still but not too close as to warrant Constantine icing them while you’re sleeping. If you know Constantine’s tells then you can ping when he’s starting to feel jealous and pivot away from your pals in time to make the save. Our friend here will notice this and, while not directly expressing it, he��s glad that you’re being considerate about his feelings. So do expect him to be softer afterwards, which before this one probably wouldn’t have thought it possible for him to get any softer than he is.

What is the Worst Case Scenario?

Oh-ho-ho-hoh! You can’t see me right now, but I am rubbing my hands sinisterly. I have been waiting for this and I hope to be able to properly convey just how terrible things can get with our boi.

I’ve stated from the very beginning that this is all your fault. You brought this onto yourself and you are now lying on the bed you’ve made, absolutely none of this had to come into fruition. A 100% bonafide preventable tragedy. However… The one thing that ISN’T a direct result of your actions is the Worst Case Scenario. This Worst Case Scenario is caused by none other than the world around you and once it happens, there is no going back to the way things were. You’ll have well and truly lost the path to a better ending as you have reached the logical conclusion to Constantine’s line of thinking.

The game has acknowledged—to my knowledge—very subtly that time has a potential to be fucked. For example, Oberon has a summoning line for before LB6 is cleared, Qin Shi Huang has a line for before LB3 is cleared and so does Koyanskaya of Light for Tunguska Sanctuary. Now, why am I pointing this out? Well, in truth, the Worst Case Scenario doesn’t have to occur in Part 2. This could be reached as early as the 7th Singularity if he’s there. So really, it could be anytime when it happens and that’s the scary part about this scenario. You have no idea when it’s going to happen or how or why, it’s just going to happen and there is nothing you can do to prevent it. So for the sake of putting you in the shoes of this poor soul, allow me to simply show a watered down play-by-play of an example and I’ll add my commentary after.

Yet another close victory for humanity with the fall of the sixth Lostbelt, but fate is nothing if not impatient. The alarm sounds and the next target is in Tunguska, Russia. Everyone, staff and servants alike, rush to the Command Room for answers. Before Da Vinci and Sion can brief everyone on the situation, they notice that someone is not among them. Usually, this person is one of the first to get here in times like these but for reasons unknown, they aren’t. Upon closer inspection, another person is also not among them as well.

Mash and a few others split off to go find them but they come up empty handed. The entire base is turned upside down, but no sign of either person is found anywhere, it’s as though they both had vanished out of thin air. What they do find is in the room with the Klein Coffins, which before today was taped off for maintenance in accordance with renovations.

It’s a complete mess. Every control panel and screen was smashed into pieces with several Klein Coffins in an even worse condition than both. …Save for two, of course. The light on the inside told everyone what they needed to know.

Two people ravaged the room and two people somehow rayshifted despite the systems being down for maintenance. No one quite wanted to believe it since it was so…out of character for either person. They wouldn’t just run off like this, would they?

Thus, in an effort to manifest a different answer, the loudspeaker rings out in the halls:

“███████ and Kōnstantînos XI report to the Command Room immediately. ███████ and Kōnstantînos XI report to the Command Room immediately.”

…But no one arrives.

To find out where you and Constantine went, one need only look back several hours into the past.

You were in your room, going over what materials you were going to farm tomorrow for the new arrivals you had summoned. After finishing writing down that list, you walked over to the door to set out for a late-night snack. Upon opening it you see a familiar, yet surprised face.

“Ah! Thank goodness you’re here. I was worried you were already asleep.”

It was your close friend Constantine and he was looking out of breath. He was in his second ascension and carrying with him a satchel that reminded you of Nightingale. The look on his face was…well, it was normal on him usually but something about it tonight was off. The small smile on his lips was something you saw often and felt comfort from, but now? Right here and right now, it was disconcerting. You brush it off and greet him as you usually did before attempting to move past him. He unexpectedly grips your forearm, not enough to hurt but enough to tell you to stay put.

“Ah… Master, I’m sorry to cut into your plans but miss Kyrielight has called a meeting in the Command Room for a mandatory training exercise. Apparently she’s worried sick about our performance concerning the previous campaign. Follow me.”

He moves his grip from your forearm to your hand and starts speedily walking in that direction, dragging you with him. You didn’t question the sudden exercise, the way he practically had to spit out your kouhai’s name, or how pushy he was being. This was Constantine, after all. He’s one of the most trustable people in Chaldea, right up there with Mash.

Thanks to the time of day, that being the wee hours of the night, neither of you bumped into anyone and you both reached the Command Room and the adjacent room with the coffins.

He grabbed the handle and pulled the door back, taking several steps aside to do so. He gestures with his hand for you to enter first, like he always does.

The room would have been pitch black had it not been for the lights of the coffins and various pieces of technology dimly shining in the dark. This lack of light did well to obscure the yellow tape and sign on the floor that was removed only a few minutes before Constantine had met up with you, and you were none the wiser to the truth of the situation. The Rider behind you being the reason why your internal alarm bells have rusted over.

You walked in, expecting Mash to be hiding in here somewhere only to find…a sharp pain on the back of your head. Your knees buckle from the shock and pain of receiving such a blow, your limp body being caught mere moments after by a strong arm. You feel a pinch in your neck and just before your consciousness fades to black, you hear a familiar voice whisper.

“Sleep well, Master. I’ll be here when you wake.”

There it is! He did the thing—the yandere thing! He actually fucking kidnapped you. Hehe, my excitement aside, let’s get into what happened.

So. As we’re all aware, LB6 was the biggest shitshow to date. Thus, after having been put through the wringer himself, watching you run around like a chicken with its head missing after being separated from Mash and then getting put through the wringer yourself, Constantine had officially reached his limit with Chaldea.

In hindsight, he’s not sure why he didn’t remove you from that horrible place earlier. Sure, it was basically your home and it had everyone you cared about, but is that really worth everything you’ve had to go through? Is that really worth your life? Obviously not. Constantine knew that but decided to let you be anyways and he’s drawing a blank as to why. What his tunnel vision is obscuring from him is that he had friends there too and he stayed there for them. Vlad III, his predecessors, Don Quixote and Sancho, Saint Martha, Jeanne, Saint George, Charlotte Corday, Johanna—all of the new friends he’s made compelled him previously to stay.

…But that changed upon the realization that the family he yearned to have was right in front of him the whole time. Slowly, people faded into the background and became as colorless and indistinct as the landscape outside. His time with his friends lessened and lessened until the only person he’d seek out willingly was you. Everyone else was either a set piece, a necessary evil or just in the way of his time with you. Friends? What are you talking about? George isn’t here, Constantine has no friends. But he does have a family and that consists of you—as either his spouse or child—and himself. There is no one else present, they’ve been dead for centuries. But that’s okay! A family can be two people. He just has to make it work. Dedication is all it takes, after all.

So. You wake up a little bit woozy and the first thing you notice is that your dominant hand feels lighter than usual. Not a good start. When you lift that hand to inspect it, you are greeted with the horror that your dominant hand is missing and all that’s left is a bandaged stump. Now, missing hand aside, the key take away is that your Command Spells are now gone. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Before you could start panicking at the fact that you’re missing a hand, Constantine and… Constantine? enter the room. The former practically bursting in and rushing to your side with the latter tagging along behind him in slight confusion. The former pulls you into a hug and tries to calm you down while the latter looks at you from his spot at the foot of the bed with an unreadable expression.

When you do calm down, your vision clears and you get a better understanding of what’s going on. The man that’s holding you has short black hair and that red armor you’re familiar with, plus he’s talking to you in a very familiar manner and calling you ‘Master’ so you can deduce that he’s your Constantine. The man at the foot of your bed has longer hair and is dressed in more comfortable yet regal clothes, he hasn’t spoken a word since he entered, so he’s probably past Constantine. So. If there are two Constantine’s in front of you, then that means that you’re in the 1400s. Judging by the fact that these two look exactly the same, save for the length of their hair, means that the year is somewhere close to the end of Constantine’s life since the other one doesn’t look younger than your Constantine.

That’s all the deduction you can get before your Constantine starts explaining things.

Why’s your hand missing? Your dominant hand was developing necrosis due to overuse of your Command Spells and Constantine had to amputate it to prevent you losing your whole arm.

Where are you? In Constantinople in 1449. He was told by Da Vinci and Sion to rayshift you as far away from Chaldea as he could get you because they were fending off a raid from the last Crypter, Daybit Sem Void.

Who’s that over there? His living self. He managed to convince him of his identity by answering some very personal questions and enlightening him about the future. He’s agreed to let the both of you chill here as long as Constantine pitches in with his knowledge of the future to send the Ottomans away.

Anyone who’s been paying attention will immediately know that Constantine told the truth in the first half of his second answer before lying through his teeth in the second half about why you’re here. His first answer has a grain of truth lodged in their with the poor condition of your hand but the necrosis part was a lie. The third answer is the whole and complete truth.

What really happened to your hand was—and The man himself is too far gone to admit this to himself, let alone register that this was the real reason—Micheal cut it off because he didn’t want you using Command Spells to boss him around or force him to kill himself in the event you realize that he’s been lying to you. That’s why, right after you were hit on the back of your head, Constantine pulled a syringe from that satchel he had with him and plunged it into your neck. That was anesthesia to null the pain for when he’d amputate your hand. And for anyone who’s wondering, no, he didn’t saw it off. He had one of his phantoms (the ones you see in some of his attacks) hold your hand up and he took his sword to cut it off in a single strike. Cmon’ he may be off the deep end, but Constantine at least has the decency to make it quick.

Anyways…you’re basically trapped in the Great Palace of Constantinople with your servant, Constantine and his living counterpart. For the sake of clarity, our Rider friend will be lovingly referred to as Micheal until this section ends. Basically…not much has changed aside from the fact that you’re now on an indefinite vacation and your dominant hand is missing.

Constantine, when he has the time, summons you to his side and tries to get to know you. When Micheal first got here and had convinced his past self of his identity, he told Constantine that you are very, very important to him. Now, depending on how he sees you, Micheal will either refer to you as his spouse or his adopted child which intrigues Constantine. He basically wants to see what’s got his future self so enamored and after he spends a few months with you, he does see what Micheal’s getting at and is feeling similar but not nearly as twisted feelings. While not nearly as bad as his servant counterpart, Constantine is very protective of you. He did lose Caterina (his 2nd wife) and his unborn child seven years ago, so while the wound isn’t fresh, it still hurts. He also dotes on you in his own way which may seem like not much but it’s the most he can do without attracting rumors.

Your room is the comfiest and least damaged, the servants and staff are ordered to treat you with the same amount of respect and attentiveness they would a foreign ambassador because of the fact that you are with Constantine’s ‘body double’ Micheal, gifts with no name attached end up in your room at random times and a prosthetic for your missing hand is in the works. Not bad. While he does have to maintain a heavy amount of imperial decorum, Constantine does care a lot about you and makes sure to let you know that in the rare times he gets alone with you.

Now, you might be asking: “Hey, wait a minute. Isn’t Micheal going to get jealous of Constantine like he does with everyone else?” And the answer is surprisingly no. Micheal isn’t jealous of himself and Constantine likewise, they’re both the same dude so in their minds there’s nothing to be worried about. Plus it’s much more beneficial to have two rather than one.

So, in summary… Chaldea is in shambles trying to repair the other Klein Coffins to find you in time before Koyanskaya does her thing, Micheal kidnapped you to 1449 Constantinople and cut off your hand while you were out, you have two Constantine’s doting on you with the living one being more stable and normal about you than the other, and finally Micheal and Constantine are working together to rewrite the future and save Constantinople from the Ottomans.

…Welp, I hope you weren’t too attached to the modern era because your goose has a very high likelihood of being cooked. Have fun living in the 15th century! …At least you won’t have to read Tunguska.

Another iteration of the Worst Case Scenario, Worst Case Scenario B, could occur in the middle of a rayshift. Since I’ve already dropped the fact that he kidnaps you, there isn’t a need for a dramatic buildup this time. So I’ll make it quick.

Essentially, while you and the gang are camping out for the night, Micheal would wake you up late. He’d tell you that he found something and that you should check it out. It’s his shift for night watch, so there’s no one awake to see the two of you slip out and away from camp. Once you two get far away enough, that’s when he clocks you in the back of the head with the hilt of his sword and plunges the syringe in your neck. Truth be told, Micheal had been planning this for a while now but had put it off for reasons he…can’t quite recall. But whatever events have recently occurred flipped the switch in his head that Chaldea is not a safe place for you and the people there are going to get you killed. Hence the kidnapping.

You wake up and same shit: you find out that your hand is missing, Micheal rushes to comfort you and he lies to you. The big difference this time is that you’re not trapped in 15th century Byzantium, you’re trapped in his Noble Phantasm. Walls aren’t just for keeping people out, they’re also for keeping people in. Buddy, you’re never leaving. Not on your own at least.

Thanks to the fact that his NP is basically a part of himself, Micheal has an acute awareness of where anything is inside of the walls. Meaning, that no matter where you are, you can’t hide from him. That’s the only reason he’s not glued to your side now, because now you two are completely alone and he knows exactly where you are. But hey, look on the bright side. In this iteration of the Worst Case Scenario, you have a much higher likelihood of being saved. So it’s not all bad.

What Are The Warning Signs?

To reorient ourselves back into a less depressing scene, let’s discuss how one can tell he’s going yandere. Assuming that you aren’t a mind reader and Constantine hasn’t opened up to you at all, here are the warning signs for this route from ‘shallow end where you can bail quick’ to ‘one foot in the basement’ type signs.

He’s not completely there/is spacing out often:

This is before the inciting incident with him having a serious conversation with you and it’s mainly him trying to troubleshoot what’s wrong with his actions in battle or your team comps.

He’s constantly lecturing you about not getting hurt and how much ‘everyone else’ hates to see it:

Post-inciting incident, it’s just him begging you in an unclear roundabout way to stop. Don’t mistake it for self righteous nagging, he’s just being stupid about not communicating his feelings. Typical Micheal.

He’s much more brutal in battle/doesn’t talk much in battle:

Already gone over this, but you should know that fights are ending much faster thanks to Constantine’s shift. Although, this has the unintended side effect of your other servants and himself getting hurt more often which may lead you to do more of those self sacrificial plays. That will, in turn, cause Constantine to be more ruthless in battle to compensate and the cycle will feed itself. Somebody’s gotta stop and it’s not going to be Micheal.

He’s around you a lot, lot more than usual:

Ya boi puts a lot of weight and has a great respect for alone time but he’s sacrificing that by being around you more and more. First is to enact his plan to make you as codependent on him as he is you make you accept help for once and because he genuinely enjoys being around you. There’s an almost euphoric glint in his brown eyes that hint at something far deeper at play when he’s around you.

He starts doing things for you more than usual:

Already have gone over this, but he’s basically coddling you to make you useless. His invasive care for you is a way that he’s showing his twisted love and you’re going to accept it whether you like it or not.

He gives you his stuff to keep in your room:

His jacket, his blanket, the case with his chess and checker set—just stuff that’s easy to get you to take in the beginning. That’ll warm you up slowly to the idea of living with him for… future endeavors.

He talks shit (in a fashion befitting a Roman Emperor) about the people around you frequently:

Constantine has nothing but subtle insults for the people you hang out with or choose to deploy for battle. You’d have squeeze even the smallest of compliments out of him and even then it’s backhanded with a side of passive aggression. He nitpicks the hell out of people in an effort to get you to see them the way he does, as unreliable and untrustworthy. He’ll ‘counsel’ you on better choices and that really just means that you’re benching the people who’ve been making him jealous recently.

He completely tunes out when you talk about Mash/is passive aggressive towards Mash:

For reasons already stated, Micheal wants nothing to do with your kouhai. You can see in real time when his eyes gloss over the second he pings that you’re talking about Mash. Not a single word of any worth will come out his mouth as he just nods his head and waits for you to finish. He doesn’t ever tell you to not talk about her because he knows that you wouldn’t be happy with him and that thought just pisses him off more.

Mash will come up to you, in the rare occasion that Constantine ISN’T at your side, and will ask you if you know if she slighted him in some way. Apparently he’s been super cold and curt with her as of late. Hmm… Wonder why.

Frequent musing to you about how you’d fit right in with his family and what life would’ve been like if you were around when he was alive:

It sounds innocent on the surface, doesn’t it? You two are such close pals that he’s talking to you about his family and how much they’d like you. How you, him, and George would be getting into all sorts of shenanigans and stuff. But the frequency he brings it up almost gives the impression that he’s testing the waters for…something. Well, it doesn’t matter what your opinion is, it’s probably going to happen anyways.

Freudian slips referring to you either as his spouse or his child:

Exactly as it is on the tin. There are times when he’s talking about you or referring to you in conversation that he’ll slip and call you either his spouse or his child depending on if this is platonic or not. Not much else to say here.

Him practically sharing your room with you:

Listen. If you haven’t seen any red flags until now then your goose is already locked in the oven, man. It’s over for you. Like, I have doubts that you’ll be able to make the turn around necessary to get out of this because ya boi has probably coddled you into a predictable and helpless creature. He’ll immediately ping when you’re starting to get suspicious of him and he’ll just dote on you more to get you to forget about it. And at this late in the game, it’ll probably work! So, if you haven’t even noticed this, then you’re toast.

How to Avoid This Shit-uation in the First Place.

The answer is so, so simple. Don’t be an idiot and try and get yourself killed. That’s what started this shitshow in the first place. If you take care of yourself and demonstrate that your self preservation instincts are functioning, then this’ll never happen. You’ll be on the normal route and you can move to get the true ending.

For the heroic master I described way back in the beginning, this is like asking to turn a plastic glove into hot sauce. Seemingly impossible, but is actually so with the right amount of effort and dedication.

It almost seems too easy, but it really isn’t. It’s just that simple.

How External Factors Come Into Play.

Up until this point, I’ve been writing this in a vacuum. Now, in this section, let’s get into the person who is most likely going to be your savior.

Mehmed II:

Just like in the Romance Headcanons, the Father of Conquest is your greatest ally. He’ll be the first person to ping that Constantine isn’t well thanks to how observant he is of people. The only issue is that Mehmed can’t quite confront Constantine on anything since Micheal hates him and wouldn’t listen to a word he says. Thus, our favorite sultan goes to you and asks you if you know what’s up with him. If you answer that you are aware of what’s up with Micheal, then Mehmed will leave you to your own devices since, much to his disappointment, it’s ultimately none of his beeswax. This is a decision he will come to regret.

If you answer that you don’t, then the sultan will consider stepping in but ultimately won’t actually make a move until Constantine’s plan is well under way. If there ever had to be a person devoted to personal freedom, then it would be Mehmed II. His entire life from childhood to death was put into being the sultan, and while he doesn’t necessarily regret putting his everything into it, he does regret not spending time doing what he wanted to do. So, when Mehmed sees the beginnings of a cage slowly forming around you, that is when he decides to act. Remember, he sees you as a reflection of himself, so the last thing Mehmed wants for you is to be trapped in the same gilded birdcage he was in since birth.

Ya boi’s aid pretty much amounts to getting you away from Constantine as much as he can. He can’t confront Micheal directly because of previously established reasons and because it might turn you away from him and potentially push you towards Constantine. By forcing you to have space away from Micheal, Mehmed provides you the opportunity to consider the previously mentioned red flags and the support you’d need to get to the bottom of this. You are not alone and Mehmed will do whatever he can to make sure that you’re free to do shit yourself.

In all honesty, he’s absolutely disgusted with Micheal in this scenario. There’s nothing our favorite sultan values more than personal freedom and anything that threatens that is high up on Mehmed’s hit list. He just can’t fathom what possessed Constantine to do something so utterly cruel to an innocent person like you and he’s finding himself to be disillusioned with Micheal as a result. Now, when Mehmed does hear Constantine’s motives for doing this during the Worst Case Scenario, either by the man himself being forced to admit it or Mehmed figuring it out, he’s more sympathetic but he’d ultimately without hesitation cosign killing Constantine off for your safety. Hell, he’d even do it himself.

Sure, losing your family, your wives and your unborn children, your best friend, and your empire would mess a person up to a high degree, but in Mehmed’s mind that is not an excuse to use you as a vehicle to fulfill such selfish desires. He’s a guy with a strong sense of justice and believes in following the law and rules to a T. It doesn’t matter who’s committing a crime or why, someone has to answer for this and when Mehmed finds them they will be spared no quarter. In this case, he’d be the first to propose executing Constantine XI for treason and would also add that if no one else wanted to, then he’d do it himself. That’s the kind of person he is, as ruthless as that may sound.

Now, if everyone believes that Micheal should be given a chance to redeem himself and get better, then… First would be complete and utter shock, what kind of crack were these people smoking to think that this a good idea? Constantine could be using his second chance to bide his time and wait for the perfect moment to kidnap you again for all they know. Second would be pure fury, Mehmed would be beyond furious that they’d let Constantine live after he very clearly demonstrated that he has little to no regard (in Mehmed’s mind) for you. He kidnapped you and cut off your hand, they should all be thanking whatever god they believe in that Micheal didn’t up and decide to amputate your legs too, or your own head for that matter. He’s also up in arms about the fact that, in his eyes, Constantine is getting off scot free for committing a crime of the highest order. That man should be dead, not just because it’s what he deserves for everything he did to you but also to serve as an example to anyone else who has similar plans as Micheal. Mehmed already has issues with the fact that Chaldea seemingly has barely any rules and no accountability, hence his shenanigans and subsequent run-ins with Astraea, but this is beyond ridiculous. What will it take then for someone to actually get what they deserve? Chaldea getting raided again? Obviously not considering the continued existence of a certain someone with a head of fluffy white hair. Will it take your death? He hopes not and he will continue to fight tooth and nail for Michael to be punished for his crimes, even going so far as to assassinate the man himself.

All in all, Mehmed is the first person to espy Constantine’s mental decline, he’ll aid you in getting away from Micheal, and if worse comes to worse then he’ll kill him for hurting you.

On another note, in the Worst Case scenario, you may be wondering what will happen when Chaldea fixes the Klein Coffins or notices that you and Constantine are missing from camp. And I shall answer.

If Chaldea manages to fix the Klein Coffins in time, figures out when and where the two of you went, and rayshifts to 1449 Constantinople, then it’s pretty much over for Constantine. It’ll essentially be a Hydrogen Bomb v. Coughing Baby type of situation since the only powerful person on Constantine’s side that could fight a servant is the man himself and Chaldea would be throwing down their top G’s to find you and that comp includes none other than Mehmed II. The only thing Micheal has going for him is that he’d maybe be able to hide you but that’s if and only if he knows that they’ve arrived. Otherwise Chaldea has the drop on him and with a guy who knows these streets like the back of his hand, it’s not going to take them long to find you. So hooray, you’re saved! Micheal will get his ass beat and depending on how the fight goes and your intervention, he could die right there. But ultimately, the incident will have reached its conclusion with you and your missing dominant hand going back to Chaldea either with or without Constantine.

Now in the alternative, depending on who’s in your singularity or Lostbelt party this may be a more difficult situation to handle on Chaldea’s end. Constantine’s NP is really, really strong and there aren’t many who can break through it. Charlemagne and Mehmed II are the obvious choices due to their connection with Byzantium, but Johanna may be able to force the gate open using her mojo or Odysseus with his ‘wooden horse’ can probably pull it off too. I may be blanking on others but you get the idea, one does not simply break through the Theodosian walls. It takes exceptional people to do so, hence any 3-star teams or regular folks are going to have to get creative.

It’s not like there’s—to my knowledge anyway—an invisible wall preventing one from scaling the walls or flying over them. So. Servants with exceptional agility like Medusa or Ushiwakamaru can scale the walls or Tomoe Gozen could throw someone over them (you’ve seen her NP, she could throw you to the moon), or Paul Bunyan and Protea could drop people in thanks to their size or dare I say it: Arash Airlines 2 or Sky High Rider Buster Justice Bomb 2. The only issue is dealing with Constantine once they get over as he will be ready for them. Depending on how things roll, he could very well drop his NP, grab you and run. But considering the names I’ve dropped so far, I doubt he’ll be going very far. So if he hasn’t killed any servants yet, you may just be saved.

But if there isn’t anyone who can do any of that then worry not, there still an opening. NPs consume mana, Constantine’s very existence consumes mana, thus when mana’s running low, Micheal will drop his NP and saddle you onto his horse with him to run off in a random direction. This is where the opening lies. Any servants who have a horse or are a horse themselves can catch up. Servants like Georgios, Mandricardo, Red Hare or Alexander will clutch this for you. So if you have no one else, then I hope you have them.

Otherwise you might just be on the run forever.

About the Romantic Side of Things…

Alrighty~ We’ve already seen the platonic side of things, so let’s discuss what your new captor husband is like!

For starters, he’s a lot more upfront and bold with his affections behind closed doors, almost always touching you in some fashion. It could be as small as locking pinkies or him resting his head on your shoulder, but he HAS to be touching you. He was already aware of the fact that he craved affection of some kind, but his mental decline and the ‘realization’ that he can have that domestic life with you as your husband has made him deathly aware of just how much he needs it. This leads to him clinging onto you as much as he can, whenever he can. You are the eucalyptus tree to his koala. (Koala-stantine? Eh, not good enough.) But if you don’t straight up tell him, then he’s going to be holding you and cuddling you constantly when you two are alone. And that shit goes double for the Worst Case Scenario. If he’s got you rayshifted into 1449 Constantinople, then you get Micheal AND Constantine being on you with the latter only on the rare occasions he gets alone with you. If you’re trapped in his NP, then he’ll just be hugging you, holding you, resting on top of you and all other manners of just being on you for nearly all hours of the day. So do let him know if you don’t like being touched that much so he can tone it down. …At least when you’re awake, that is. While you’re sleeping is fair game for him to spoon you (in his mind) to make up for all the time he can’t touch you while you’re conscious. And if you’re a light sleeper, he’ll find a way and if you wake up early and sleep late then… well, he still has several leftover syringes of anesthesia and a few bottles of hard alcohol to put you out with if he feels like he needs more time. He was really preparing for you to wake up mid-kidnapping or during the moment he amputated your hand, hence the copious amount of ‘sleeping tools.’ The alcohol was also taken if you ever felt residual or phantom pain from losing your hand, so that’s mighty considerate of him.

He’s also more verbally direct about his feelings. The positive ones, I mean. He’d still rather die than admit he’s feeling bad about anything. His filter is almost gone and he’s not afraid to tell you how he feels about you. He tells you that he loves you and that he’d move mountains for you if it’d mean that you’d smile. That he’d protect you from anything and all things: liars, traitors, madmen, gods, friends, family—nothing could ever get to you with Constantine by your side. And while the sentiment is…nice if you ignore the blatant threat to your loved ones, the fact of the matter is that he isn’t as reserved as he normally would be. And that lets a bit of the madness peek through some of the time when he muses to you about his family and how he’d LOVE for you to meet them! How you’d be an excellent monarch at his side and how he’d show you all of the ropes, get you his old tutors from when he was a kid, and how you’d look so beautiful in regal clothing from his era and— you get the point. Like I said previously, the way he talks about these things is so frequent that one may suspect that he’s cooking something and the manic glint in his eye definitely isn’t making it any better.

On another note, returning his affections will pull him deeper and deeper into his delusions. He gets almost giddy when you hug him back or let him rest his head on your lap and card your fingers through his hair. As far gone as he is, he does have a level of shame left in him that prevents him from acting like a love-drunk fool in public and a level of shame that prevents him from acting too much like the codependent fool he really is in front of you. Just a baseline level of composure and elegance to fool you and himself into thinking he’s still the well adjusted and reliable Roman emperor he thinks he is.

Now, if you were to go out of your way to show affection—and do note that you don’t have to—but if you do, then oh boy. Let’s say…hm. Let’s say in Chaldea, before the Worst Case Scenario happens but you’re in deep enough to where he’s sleeping in your room, let’s say you roll out of bed one night and you lie next to him on the floor. He’d be surprised by your sudden action and would ask why you’re down there. You then move in to wordlessly hug him, pulling his sleeping bag closer to you and resting your head on his chest. Micheal will be shaken. He doesn’t know why, not consciously anyways, but he’s really surprised that you’re holding him like this. And when you stay like that for longer, that’s when you hear…sniffling? You move your head to look at Constantine’s face only to see his hand covering his eyes and and his teeth clenched. His shoulders begin trembling and you can just barely see a glint of something rolling down his cheek. Is… Is Constantine crying?

You move your hand to his face to wipe away the tear stains and that’s when Micheal completely breaks down and starts sobbing. He immediately pulls you into his arms and squeezes the life out of you, shaking and weeping into your hair. He rubs your back and you can barely make out what he’s mumbling to himself.

“Finally… Finally… Finally, I… I finally have…! Ahhhh… I’m so happy… I’m so glad that you’re… ahhh…”

The rest is incoherent and a jumbled mess of words, so you can’t quite tell what he’s on about. But what you do know is that these tears are definitely not ones of sadness.

…It should be noted that this scene can also occur in a platonic scenario.

What Micheal breaking down in front of you means is that he’s so overwhelmed by the fact that you have just soft confirmed that you love him too (even if that’s not what you meant) and that basically puts whatever tiny piece of rationality he has left to rest because you clearly (uh-huh) want this too. Buried under layers and layers of denial, grief, and a starvation for affection and a family is Constantine’s self awareness. Very deep down he knows what he’s doing is morally reprehensible and is harming you, but it’s been shoved so deep down thanks to the euphoria of getting what he’s wanted and now that you’ve—in his mind—confirmed that you’re okay with this, that self awareness has died. It’s not coming back and you’ve basically locked Constantine into his delusion by proving to him that you love him too. And the consequences of this action are accelerating the path to the Worst Case Scenario: the logical conclusion to his line of thinking and Constantine being more liable to harm others to protect you and your relationship with him. If you’re not careful then people are going to start dropping like flies under ‘mysterious circumstances’ so you better tread lightly because any small indication that someone likes you ‘too much’ or that you like someone else is going to get them killed. You know… ‘cause they’re clearly trying to hurt you and are manipulating you. Don’t question it, Micheal knows best, obviously.

Does He Sober Up or Not?

Yes and no. If by ‘sober up’ you mean that he realizes the error of his ways and seeks to right his wrongs, then allow me to bluntly tell you that it’s impossible for him on his own. The euphoria that he receives from caring for you and coddling you and loving you (plus any affection you may give to him) has his vision dyed in a rose tint. The tiny rationale and self awareness he does have is buried deep in him and isn’t going to come out in any meaningful way ever. Your actions at the very beginning of this (remember?) have pushed him off the deep end and his sanity is at a low value, this is the bad ending route and depending on where you are in the timeline and what you do, then you probably can’t salvage this either. If you want to get him to sober up, the you’ll have to change your ways early on and avoid this route altogether.

Now. If by ‘sober up’ you mean that he has occasional moments of clarity then, yes. Yes he does have occasional moments of clarity. And those, unfortunately, only come out in Worst Case Scenario B when he’s all alone with you in his NP. With things as…not good as they are and you not having shown him any affection of your own volition, you get to wake up to something special sometimes.

With no warning, you may wake up to the sounds of loud sobbing, arms and legs squeezing the life out of you, and a very wet shirt. Constantine is crying into your chest and frantically apologizing to you. He’s sorry. He’s so, so sorry for trapping you here, he’s sorry for your hand, he’s sorry for hurting you, he’s sorry for taking your friends away, he’s sorry. Don’t bother trying to talk to him because in this state he’s inconsolable and hysterical. He’s not listening to a word you say and no matter how many times you tell him that you forgive him, he’ll continue to apologize. Kicking him or pulling his hair isn’t going to do anything either so don’t bother. All you can do is try and go back to sleep or wait until he exhausts himself and falls asleep. When you wake up, the only sign that he was like this are the tear stains on his cheeks and your moist shirt. He won’t ‘recall’ any of what you’re talking about and’ll just liken the moisture on your shirt to him drooling, which he’ll apologize for. The tear stains are something he’ll refuse to acknowledge no matter what you say or do, so don’t bother with that either.

You’re okay and he’s okay. That’s all there is to it.

Endnote: And we’re back! This is the result of me recovering my sanity bit by bit from having to write an essay for a topic I had no interest in. So hopefully after my midterm things’ll die down a bit in that class. Anywho, let’s get into the behind the scenes!

I would first like to inform you all that I had to cut a few of planned sections for this. I was originally planning on writing a section at the end for the type of master who would get this route—this ending on purpose. However, as I started writing things, the word count got higher and higher, high enough to where I was sure that it’d break 13k and maybe hit 21k if I were to write it. Sooo it was scrapped for the sake of not lagging on anyone’s devices and being too long for a headcanons list. There was also a section dedicated to discussing if escaping Yandere!Constantine was possible but as I was writing the Worst Case Scenario, I realized by the end that I was giving tips on escaping as well as the answer somewhat being obvious and not that interesting. The answer I COULD give plus an answer as to what would happen after your failed escape attempts would make for a good section of the Yandere Headcanons Addendum. The last planned section that was cut was the section answering the question: “What if you died?” And I realized as the word count went up that the answer would not only be long, but best served for a post dedicated to answering the question how Constantine would react to you dying. From him being your coworker, your friend, your best friend, romantic partner and husband to the object of his obsession, there’s a lot of ways you could answer it and That’ll be something to tag on my already really long to-do list. In essence, most things were cut out for word count reasons. The count in question is 12,980. Yeah… I was really close to breaking the ceiling and having this set be a new record holder. But hey, if you think that there is no such thing as ‘too long’ for headcanon lists, do let me know! I’m really only holding back for everyone else’s sake…

In the Worst Case Scenario section, I really felt like I had written like, the summary or prologue to a fic with that. And I am pondering ideas for what a longfic with him could look like because I’ve had a few cracked and barely thought out ideas in the past like: “Modern AU with Micheal being so entrenched in grief over losing his wives that he hallucinates Reader to sooth his loneliness and Reader tries to help him get better” and there would be like endings where either he’d live with you forever and not get better, kill himself out of grief, or get with the lovely church organist, Modern Au!Johanna and live happily ever after with an epilogue scene of him talking to Johanna about ‘someone who helped him in his darkest time’ (Reader) and him being thankful for your help. It’s a really cracked and cliche (I think) idea that came to me when I was listening to “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men a while ago and that blurb’s all I got. I have no idea where to go from there, so if anyone wants to brainstorm with me if that sounds interesting, then don’t hesitate, I am always here to share the brainrot.

Constantine as a yandere is such a sad thing to see because he could get better, he really could! He doesn’t HAVE to do any of this to get the family he wants, the Romance and Confession Headcanons (in my interpretation, anyways) prove it! None of this had to happen. However, through ‘your’ (the loosely defined you) actions you have given him cause to take what he wants from you and people are going to get hurt, including you. I cannot stress enough just how much this version of Micheal is the direct result of ‘your’ actions, intentional or not. This is NOT his logical conclusion and the very nature of his character prevents him from doing this to himself. ‘You’ve’ created a monster and you’re getting everything you deserve from it for disregarding the feelings and effects on the people around you. A master who’s doing this on purpose is also getting what they deserve from it too. So every party in this ending suffers equally.

Now on a different topic, someone may be silently asking: “But what about seggs? Are you going to do seggs?” And to that I say… I’m working on it. I’ve been writing an Nsfw Alphabet in my spare time and with that being my first foray into NSFW, I’m not sure if anyone wants to see it! I am genuinely thinking I should leave it as practice to never see the light of day for the inevitable NSFW Headcanons. Because I am struggling to write it because I’m worried that it’s not…NSFW enough. As I write more, because that’s what it takes to get better, I’ll figure it out. But yeah, if anyone was wondering then now ya know.

In other Redline news, I’m going to try and catch up on those sprite posts and another thing from the Yamatai event since I was being mauled by schoolwork. So here’s to hoping my professors don’t increase the difficulty any time soon.

But that’s all I can think of for the Endnote. If you have any questions, desire for elaboration, criticisms, or compliments, don’t hesitate to let me know and I’ll be seeing you all soon!

Have a good day, everyone.

—Redline, over and out!

[skunkes]

I've talked about this before I think but I think "art theft culture" is actually what makes scenarios like this worse... and I Know because I've mentioned that it happened to me before, where a few years ago I was heavily inspired by an artist for a couple of style study drawings without acknowledging them as inspiration, they contacted me after their friends notifed the similarities, and it was resolved as I explained that I had no "plans" for long term theft or passing off as my own, I was just passing by and figuring out what I liked about the style. But I should have just mentioned them!

And that's the point I'm trying to get at here, I feel for a lot of people there's still either shame in using references (I took the upper half of a pose for a recent comm from one of the first memorable google image results for it... How embarrassing!), and there's similar in openly admitting that somebody is currently directly inspiring you, or that you liked something someone made so much you're making your own spin on it.

This is probably because you don't know how people (your audience or the original creator, or THEIR audience) are going to react with regards to """theft""" (which I also feel varies. Like everyone I've seen trying to emulate my style has never gotten close. Which is how it works! Its a good thing! Absorb it into your own! Thats what I do!

But I've also had someone lift every aspect of my art identity and basically try to replicate exact pieces, poses, and dialogue of mine with their characters like oh ok nvm this is kinda weird.) so I get it, because it's scary! It happened to Me, I was a perpetrator LOL and that's that it was style inspiration and not direct copying so I get it... I feel it all the time too, but I wish it wasn't like this in General ykwim. Wish it didn't feel so humiliating to admit influence

EDIT: THIS IS ALSO NOT ME SAYING "you need to list off all your inspirations every single time you post a drawing"

Its more like oh this person is using my exact brushes and exact colors and exact half traced poses and my handwriting and exact dialogue and personal symbols to the point where they're pretending my autobiographic doodles happened to them while pretending they've never seen my stuff in their life, or even shit talking me. Some of these individual aspects are okay (I've literally shared all my brushes with everyone, for example, who cares. My colors are awesome...who cares. 4 petal flower shapes don't belong to anyone, I don't care.) But all of them in combination is what's weird. Ykwim. Like that level of "hey man what the fuck"

I'm about to answer an ask going more into depth about this but I also need to explain that it's hard being on the other end of this too because it really isn't that serious ykwim... I see ppl on twitter get clowned on every day because "you can't steal a style" and that's mostly true. Me and some mutuals "steal" aspects from each other all the time without "crediting" because it's obvious, or we know each other, as well as the "stolen" stuff being something we already made our own thing, so I promise this isn't about that. Art is meant to be shared and inspire and influence.

I'd never point fingers unless it got severe over a long period of time (not adapting it into your own style), with someone who wouldn't talk it out with me but sometimes I wish I could show some of these specific examples, like I promise I'm not blowing up because someone """stole""" uhhhh the little squiggles I add to my commissions. I myself "stole" that from deco sticker sheets. Who gives a shit.

[downtowncannibal]

My Black Christmas Informational Masterlist(?):

Every now and then I get asked for links or sources to some of the things I post and/or reference. This serves to be easy access to anyone interested in more info regarding the film, Bob Clark, or Billy in general. I'm sure I will expand with more links or info at some point, but here are the basics.

Docs and Commentaries:

Commentary featuring Nick Mancuso reprising his role as Billy. If you're not entirely interested in seeing Billy be represented as something beyond the figure in the movie or are looking to gain more knowledge on the creation of Black Christmas, this probably isn't for you.

Just as the title says, this is a Mini-Documentary that explores Black Christmas, its legacy, and a look into it's production. If your here for more info on Billy I HIGHLY recommend this as Nick has some incredibly interesting insight. Includes Lynne Griffin, John Saxon, along with Carl Zitter. Also includes some older clips of Albert J (Black Christmas's Camera Man), Bob Clark, Olivia Hussey, and Margot Kidder.

Closest thing to an ACTUAL documentary on Black Christmas I've seen. Goes good into detail about the production and creation of Black Christmas going from "The Babysitter" to "Stop Me".

There are a TON more extra's from the special release in 2015. Here is a playlist which compiles all that are publicly available. This does not include Bob Clarks actual commentary, nor Keir and John's. I own those on DVD, and I'll see what I can do about converting them onto my laptop, but I majorly recommend purchasing the 4k re-release from last year if you're looking for them. It's def worth your money and time if you're interested.

Tv Spots, Radio, etc:

Actual Documents:

2nd stage of the Black Christmas screenplays. Tread VERY lightly with this if you are sensitive to topics such as CSA and Child abuse, if you catch my drift. Has some problems with pages being turned upside down, but that's nothing I can fix at the moment.

The novelization based off of the "Stop Me" Screenplay. Questionable canonical status, but that's up to you. As it is based off "Stop Me" I am once again warning you to tread lightly and take care of yourself as the same warnings previous very much apply here.

ETC:

Not sure what to categorize this as, but I frequently see this slip under the radar of many people.

If you're looking at this masterlist because all of a sudden you've gained a fascination with this stupid fucking misogynist like I did, YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS! It is from Billy's POV and it gives a great insight into his mind and uses audio from the film, which if you rewatch the film after listening to this oh my god you will not be able to stop hearing shit. (Such as the fact I did not notice the music and wind in the beginning of the film when Billy enters the attic is literally just a bunch of people whispering his name.) Give it a listen, but again, tread lightly, if you, once again, catch my drift.

[ronearoundblindly]

Ooh ooh can we do D Y Z for Lloyd please? I absolutely love this game!

From this dirty ask game, but Z - Zones has already been answered here.

This game in general, but more specifically everything Lloyd, is MINORS DNI. Boi is nasty and rude and I hate to love himwe love to hate him.

D -Dominance

"More? You want more, you selfish bitch?" He grips your jaw harshly, fingertips digging into your cheeks. "I tell you what you need and when. I'll even give you a hint. Neither of us needs your fucking mouth right now. You'll take what I give you--" he leans so close his mustache tickles the rim of your ear "--and I will love it. Lloyd's hips snap forward, shoving you into the furniture so hard your thighs sting. "Understand?" You know he doesn't expect an answer, he told you your mouth was not required, and (whether it proves or disproves his point) he pushes two thick fingers against your tongue and holds them there until he's satisfied.

So, uh, yeah. Lloyd is a very mean dom. The type of dominant male that isn't actually a Dom because there is no safe word or system to protect you. This is not rocket science.

But...and that's a big 'but,' IF I could figure out a way to write him a repeat and consistent--the word 'lover' doesn't seem to apply here, hold up, eh, let's go with--fuck buddy, I think Lloyd would enjoy harsh pampering, someone super strict about his appearance, too, and someone brutal in their caring for him.

He would not see this as being dominated, and he would not allow it to go very far. It's not--well, I'm having trouble describing this--equal control, per se, but I think outside of sex he would appreciate someone as severe and indifferent as he is. Not a partner, bit like an appliance he finds useful, half-'sexy-butler-he-owns' and half-'a-showpiece-of-a-sextoy.' Right? That made sense. Totally articulate. For sure...

Bottomline, I hope you don't have any 'no's on your list; he'll make that his first priority of shit to do to you.

Y - Yes, Master

Lloyd.

It's not, like, a great name, is it?

Yeah, so he's good with all the power monikers--mister, master, sir, my king, my lord, whatever--and you get all the shaming ones--fatass, tubby, chubby, chubs, fuck toy, bitch, slut, whore...you get the picture.

The absolute truth is that he's...not really listening to you. He'll feed you lines of what he wants to hear, and even if you improvise things guaranteed to stroke his ego, Lloyd doesn't care. None of this is for you.

I should mention that 'daddy' is NOT on that list because it implies some sort of caring, or the requirement/expectation of care. This means something to Lloyd in the worst possible way. He hates the idea of owing you--or anyone else--anything.

If he refers to himself as 'Daddy,' if he asks you to call him 'Daddy,' FUCKING RUN.

He is in the mood to torture. He wants to feel responsible for the pain you are about to be in. For the love of all that is holy, degrading, or anywhere in between, get the fuck out of there and touch grass! You are not safe.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Dirty Asks Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

a/n: how has no one kicked me out of this fandom yet??? this damn game has made me flood the poor steve smut tag, and i probably got blocked by a bunch of people sick of my shit 😭😭😭 i'm sorry!

[nanomooselet]

On Narrators

You know what, fuck it.

I've seen a lot of references to Trigun Stampede having an unreliable narrator, and unfortunately it's activated my media analyst trap card. While there's always a degree of interpretation to these things, there is a difference between interpretation and declaring a banana skin to be orange zest. It makes a difference, especially if you're trying to bake a cake.

That isn't at all what Trigun Stampede is doing. Among other things, it doesn't have a narrator.

Narration, loosely defined, is text (or spoken lines etc) that directly addresses an assumed audience, which may or may not be the actual audience (it depends on the needs of the story). Think voice-overs, think Kuzco in The Emperor's New Groove, think the text panels in a comic or manga that list time and location, or describe the situation. The song of humanity continues to be sung is narration. A narrator is the character who performs narration; sometimes from with the story, sometimes from a position adjacent to it.

Honestly one of the most interesting things about Stampede, in my opinion, is that it makes a point of having neither.

There's no framing device, no presenter, no announcer, no chorus, no soliloquy, not even an internal monologue. There's no direct line to the writers, giving away their intentions. Indeed, the imposition of any text at all is almost entirely absent, save some pointed timing on the title cards, and no character's voice is objective. Zazie or Roberto, who come the closest, can definitely still be wrong - Roberto says Vash is "not long for this world" when Vash is longer for the world than almost anyone else; the man he says would kill with a smile was in fact coerced into becoming a killer. Zazie knows much and is always truthful, but isn't all-knowing, nor operating with complete understanding. And on the other end of the scale you have characters like Dr. Conrad or Knives, where the easiest way to tell they're mistaken or lying is if their mouths are moving. (Outside of brain fuckery. Then you're on your own.) Then there's Vash, who doesn't lie, necessarily, so much as he doesn't volunteer the truth, and tends to dodge giving answers when asked outright.

Now, an unreliable narrator is metafictional, taking advantage of the narrator being a character, and therefore capable of having an agenda.

What makes them unreliable is that they exert motivated influence over what we see - even accidental influence like distorted recollection or misconception. But before declaring such influence is occurring, we need a solid reason to doubt. You don't dismiss an account as unreliable just because it doesn't line up with your own expectations or desires - not without something like a clear contradiction, perhaps, or some conspicuous omission. *

We simply have no reason to believe what we see in Trigun Stampede is anything other than the truth (inasmuch as it's obviously fictional of course). We see some events from multiple viewpoints - here is what Vash experienced, here is what Knives saw, here is what other characters are doing - and what one character sees isn't different from what any other character sees when the perspectives swap. It's just from different distances and angles. The same words are said, the same events play out, and the same reactions are demonstrated by the characters, according to their established values and motivations.

The narrative itself is unadorned and unchanged by their viewpoints. Whether a character is being truthful is simply a judgement you're given to make as the events that occur and their actions reveal more about them.

The term for this isn't narration; it's focalisation, and it's hardly some avant-garde artistic statement. It's intrinsic to telling even the most simple story.

For instance, the way Knives evolves from his initial presentation. His introduction as an adult is as a wrathful would-be god and a merciless killer before his more nuanced motivations and origins are slowly revealed. It would have been different if he'd been introduced first, discovered Tesla and was then depicted destroying Jeneora Rock. He'd come across as more of a protagonist. Instead, because the central character is Vash, we see him first, the humanising struggles of Jeneora Rock's people and Vash's efforts to help them, his anguish when it's rendered moot, and all the ways he suffers as a result of Knives's actions. This is focalisation that makes Knives the antagonist, representing what Vash must overcome. A complex, compelling and perhaps tragic antagonist, but still - not the guy the story is about.

Oh, and that has nothing to do with their respective moral positions, good or evil. It's structural. A protagonist attempts to achieve while an antagonist obstructs, and both by nature will transgress.

Stampede isn't exactly free of ways to manipulate sympathy, and exerts strict control over the perspectives it presents. You could argue it misdirects, or lies by omission - but that's not the same as an unreliable narrator. A narrative is always going to impose some kind of order on events to produce a specific effect, and that does come with bias. But it's the nature of storytelling never to be entirely objective.

I'm not sure that I really have a point, honestly, except that Trigun Stampede is a show that's exceedingly careful to show the characters exactly as they are. It doesn't lie. Personally, I find that more interesting to contemplate than the alternative. We have everything we need to know why the characters do as they do. Certainly far more than some would rather have us know.

* There are two times I think something like this is happening. One is Wolfwood's flashbacks to the orphanage, which are coloured as memories of the softness the Eye ripped away from him. Hence the different art style, and the title of the episode they occur in: once upon a time. It's a fairy tale, more emotionally true than literal to highlight the harshness of his life since then by contrast. There's likely more to that story than Wolfwood is recalling at that moment.

The other, big surprise, is within the memory world. It has manipulative editing, clips taken out of context, video noise, ADR, everything. All you'd need to make it more obvious it can't be trusted is a disclaimer in the corner or inconsistent timestamps or something.

[mellancholy-morose]

@puppys-teeth You said you wanted Au's and silly thoughts in this post. I'm finally getting around to responding like I wanted to. I made it it's own post cause it got long and this is basically just gonna be a list of my WIP's with some general information and thoughts with some links to some snippets I've shared previously.

Longfics:

Knowing Spirit Albarn is a Drag Current WC about 14k

This is the current longfic I'm trying working on. Spirit ends up doing drag at chupa cabras, Stein comes looking for Spirit and finds out his secret and is thoroughly amused. Stein keeps coming back cause he finds it entertaining and is trying to understand why Spirit's doing it. But Spirit's double life takes a toll on him.

A few snippets I've posted so far:

Here, Here, Here, and Here

Graves/Fountains (a Wip title) Current WC about 3k (not counting notes that are just dialog spread around my note taking locations)

Stein and Spirit go on a mission and things go wrong, they're both left unable to resonate with anyone, as they're both ignored their problems for so long their souls have gone into what is basically a perpetual state of self defense, so LD puts them both on mandatory leave until they can fix their shit. They end up working at Deathbucks to pay the bills when its been a while with no progress and LD is like 'we can't keep paying you'. They eventually are going to have to go into each others mindscapes and help each other deal with all these things they've buried deep. The wip title is in reference to the imagery in their respective mindscapes.

Pacts Writ in Flesh and Blood Current WC about 27k

A resbang I was unable to finish, as it got a bit too depressing at the time. I will come back to it eventually, but it might yet be awhile. It's present stein/marie and past stein/spirit. It's a supernatural horror au, that started from the idea of Faustian deals, if you know 'the magnus archives' there's also some inspiration taken from there for this one. The promo from resbang will give you a better idea what it's about and has some excerpts:

promo

P.I. AU Currently just notes

More like a very long fic. Its ensemble cast and its scope scares me, it'll probably be a while before I tackle this one, simply cause juggling an ensemble cast this large, and having to make sure the murder mystery makes sense is going to be a lot balls in the air. When it was first conceived it was intended to be Stein/Marie but I'm likely to pivot it slightly to make it still that to and extent but likely end game Stein/Spirit. Idk it's not currently very fleshed out besides some general beats I want to hit with things. Stein is Frank Stone (I think it's hilarious and this choice of mine will never stop amusing me) private investigator who's investigating his buddy Sid's death. also did I mention its the 1920's? cause its the 1920's.

Oneshots:

none of these titles are finalized and are more just ways for me to tell them apart from each other

Carnival Currently just notes

Based off that one ending image of Stein making Spirit puke on the teacups, Spirit is there to chaperone the kids, and asks Stein to come a long. Marie upon learning this implies its a date, which worms its way into Stein's head, leading to something of a disappointing experience when they go.

GD Current WC 2.5k

(I don't want to say the title of this one as it gives away something small that I haven't decided if I want the reader to go into the fic knowing about yet)

Current oneshot I'm working on, after a mission Spirit convinces Stein to visit his parents when he learns they're in the area. It is a bit awkward for all involved but Spirit is learning things about Stein he never knew.

A snippet of this one can be found here and here.

Two fucked up little guys Current WC 1.6K

This one admittedly is almost done, but I haven't felt up for finishing it. Set after Stein and Spirit stopped being partners and after Maka is born, but before the anime. Neither have good coping mechanisms for their stress and end up instinctually reaching out for each others wavelengths, and connect while half way across the city. It's angsty, there's some hurt/comfort but it's not got a happy end coming for it. Though this one is also one that after I post it and people are interested I might end up coming back to and expanding the story on later (and giving it a happier ending most likely)

Misc:

These are things that are minimally fleshed out and tend to be more prompts then actual Wips atm

Gay Pirates:

Spirit used to be steins first mate, now they both have their own crews, and spirit keeps boasting about his getting them into trouble. Maka mutinies her dad stranding him on an island but still kinda feels bad about it so sends Stein a letter addressed as if from Spirit for a duel to the death, and Stein ends up getting stranded on the island with him cause his crew get drove off while he's off board by the navy.

Road Trip:

Been sitting on this one for awhile, but @bcbdrums reminded me it was in my wips by mentioning her own road trip ideas on some posts. I was gonna work on this on the side of my long fic but it grew past oneshot territory and is likely gonna be a medium length fic so it went back on the backburner. It's normal world au and is a last road trip before Stein leaves for med school. But there's gonna be a time skip after the trip to after med school

Verbatim from my notes:

"You've got mail Au but with more dicks and its grindr, cause its 2022 my dude" (can you tell how long these idiots have been plaguing me? The ideas and wips are constantly stacking up)

Theater kids au:

Stein is a teacher, Spirit is parent who wont fucking go home

Some Stein/Spirit/Marie poly thing

Doesn't have much to it currently besides my thoughts about similarities between Marie and Spirit

Incubus Au

Likely to be a longish fic, Spirit is a incubus that's hanging around Stein for reasons (one of those not sure if i want readers to know going into it things) and Stein is a kind of John Constantine type

[iaus]

HELLO. for starbreaker questions and prompts: your thoughts/takes/headcanons on things like Jace's metamagic, Porter's paladin auras, other fun elements of their classes that have that type of measurable effect on their physical presence in the world (if that makes any sense!)

OUGH MY JAM. i love talking about this stuff. i love dnd. i love the game. i will ignore rules as written at the drop of the hat for story telling purposes.

so i know i talked about like stats and such a bit... way back. so i'm gonna reference my little character sheet. (which i keep having to open because i'm so scared of accidentally giving jace spells i don't mean to HELP)

but okay i'm putting this under a read more because i uh. word vomited in the club again.

but on my jace character sheet i have him down with:

heightened spell. i'm not going to lie i picked this one specifically because i feel like he would use things like friends, command, and dominate monster a lot in like. every day life. (i have definitely written more than one scene where he uses command on porter and porter is fucking furious about it. porter will i think almost always fail that save btw. i have his wisdom at a +1 and jace's spell save DC at a 22 soooo. better burn that legendary resistance if you have it babygirl)

subtle spell. which is actually one of my personal favorite metamagics and i think he'd also use this one a lot in his day-to-day life for little things. i know it's nowhere supported in canon (and i'm actually probably going against canon tbh) but i really like jace being a very competent and nasty spellcaster so i've made his character sheet reflect that. like. i can just imagine him in a boring professional development and he uses a subtle spell to detect thoughts everyone in the room to entertain himself. or using a subtle spell friends to get out of a conversation he doesn't want to have.

quickened spell. i like the idea of jace having this frenetic energy all the time even when he's presenting as being chill and laid back. so a quickened spell just enables him to shorten his spells even though an action out of combat is so quick. like he doesn't have time to devote six seconds to this spell and he hand waves the spell so he can get back to his more important tasks.

careful spell. finally this one i selected is like. the one that i think is the most out of place. in my own little universe i really do think jace had plans to be an adventurer. so this was his one little concession for his party. but it's also funny because i revised his spell list a bit (i had him with fireball at first, but went back on that). so i think, now that i think about it, i would probably change this one on his character sheet to extended spell. after switching to a solo adventurer track and leveling up on his own he would be like FUCK THAT i'm never working with anyone ever again.

and this is how porter gets chain lightninged during a teamwork PD

and for porter...

i've done a lot of mulling on his multiclass make up and ended up solidly believing in an 18-2 barb-paladin class which makes him arguably the funniest and most ineffective guy to teach any MCAT paladins because he just has none of the features.

fun fact! i have head canoned him as a path of zealot barb because it feels suiting and the class features.... are fun.... :)

but! i have actually thought about what his oath would be. it's actually really funny because i was so into looking into what i think are less popular oaths that i forgot that there even was an oath of conquest LMAO.

so here is my take on porter's oath (before he becomes an oathbreaker teehee): i think he's an oath of glory. NOW. BEFORE I LOSE YOU. i've put. so much thought into what porter's backstory might be and my argument is that his paladin levels, if he managed to get to an oath, are early like. he might have spent his freshman/sophomore year of aguefort as a paladin.

my headcanon is that his mom and dad are paladins (and his little siblings are a mix of paladins and clerics) but porter was always just born with this rage. so i think porter started aguefort at level 2 (i actually have thoughts about the school system and the leveling and that i think all adventurers at aguefort should at least be level 3 BUT I DIGRESS).

point is i think porter's family wasn't like. evil. i think he came to this plan of taking ankarna's place on his own so he actually started out somewhat fitting with the oath of glory before his rage just became too much and he eventually abandoned his oath. (which leads to the 18-2 barb/pala

BUT. here's the description of oath of glory:

Paladins who take the Oath of Glory believe they and their companions are destined to achieve glory through deeds of heroism. They train diligently and encourage their companions so they're all ready when destiny calls.

kinda... suiting. huh. as long as you ignore the deeds of heroism (ha).

i also really like oath of glory for him because if he DID do something like an 11-9 split he would get some really cool spells like guiding bolt, heroism, enhance ability, magic weapon, haste. it seems to suit him before he got flanderized.

also inspiring smite is SO cool and i see porter as adventurer turned teacher so:

Inspiring Smite. Immediately after you deal damage to a creature with your Divine Smite feature, you can use your Channel Divinity as a bonus action and distribute temporary hit points to creatures of your choice within 30 feet of you, which can include you. The total number of temporary hit points equals 2d8 + your level in this class, divided among the chosen creatures however you like.

and

Aura of Alacrity. You emanate an aura that fills you and your companions with supernatural speed, allowing you to race across a battlefield in formation. Your walking speed increases by 10 feet. In addition, if you aren't incapacitated, the walking speed of any ally who starts their turn within 5 feet of you increases by 10 feet until the end of that turn.

this would be neat. (stuff like this... would also have made him a more interesting final boss.............)

LIKE.

it is interesting to me that porter... did seem like he cared about his students. like. i'm not going to lie porter like personally rankled me for a long time before his evil reveal because he reminded me a lot of teachers that i hated in high school. like i get it. i hate your fucking pedagogy. but. it seems like he had some sort of care. even if it manifested in fucking horrid ways.

but yea i do think oath of glory is a really fun option for porter if he did take an oath at any point. it adds some flavor.

also. i think it is so funny but if porter has only 2 levels in paladin he literally only has 10 lay on hands and smites. you don't get divine health until level 3.

that man can still get diseases.

but i do think he lies and is like i'm a paladin don't worry jace i can c-

never mind.

[roodles03]

🌈 Roodles03 🌈

My name is Roo, and my pronouns are they/them! I'm 20, queer, and autistic.

OTHER SITES

Instagram: Roodles03 (Most Active)

A03: Roodles03 (Fanfics)

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Spare Blog: Roodles03-reblog-account

NOTE: I DO NOT have Twitter or Tiktok or any other social media platforms. (Excluding Discord with is NOT listed here for privacy.) Any art of mine that you see on those sites IS A REPOST. Anyone with my username on other sites IS NOT ME.

(Last Update: 10-11-24)

I post Hazbin Hotel & Owl House fanart/comics and shit like that. Pretty much exclusively Alastor, radiosilenece, and Huntlow/Dadrius content because those are all my hyperfixations right now. If you love those things then you've come to the right place! I actually do more than just art! I also post fanfics on my A03 and occasionally post memes and discussion posts here on tumblr.

DNI LIST:

Pedophiles, Queerphobic people, racists, misogynists, ableist people, or if you support any other form of bigotry. (Obvious)

Trump Supporters. (Also obvious)

Proshippers. (This is a mostly* minor safe blog, so please keep your weird fantasies far away from of places where minors can see it. FFS be responsible.)

If you are an AI-Bro without believing regulations or protections for people (Go fucking make something productive on your own.)

Huntlow/Dadrius/Hazbin Hotel antis who are going to be a dick about me liking those things. (Ffs just ignore and/or block me and move on. There's no reason to be nasty about it. Polite antis of each are welcome.)

Pro-Iseral (Get the everloving fuck away from me)

Minors can interact but be aware I swear a lot within my own speech and speaking patterns. Most of my TOH content I try to keep swear free outside of shitpost comics. HOWEVER, I personally don't consider swearing taboo and don't see it as an adult topic. Like I know most of us started swearing when we were like 10 lmao. Anything sexual I consider an adult topic. Hazbin just naturally has these elements. Please acknowledge that Hazbin Hotel is out of your age range if you are a minor. 16+ is the MINIMUM age. I know there's not much I can do to stop children from consuming the show and therefore my fanworks, but In the future if I ever include something remotely sexual in a Hazbin comic even if it's as small as a sex joke, I'm going to slap the 18+ fliter on it for safety purposes. I will geninuely try to do something.

Repost Rules:

Thinking about reposting my art/comics? Please check this list first.

Are you just reposting the art/comic by itself with no original spin on it? DO NOT REPOST UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. IF YOU ASK I WILL NOT GIVE PERMISSION.

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Do you want to voice dub my comic? ASK ME FIRST, AND YOU MUST SPECIFY HOW YOU'RE DUBBING IT. I ONLY WILL GIVE PERMISSION IF YOU HAVE REAL VOICE ACTORS IN YOUR DUB. I WILL ALWAYS REFUSE IF YOU WANT TO USE AI GENERATED VOICES. I DO NOT WANT AND ACTIVELY REFUSE TO HAVE ME OR MY WORK ASSIOATED WITH AI IN ANY WAY.

Do you want to dub my comic in another language? LET ME KNOW FIRST, AS I WILL ACTUALLY HELP YOU. I WILL SEND THE PANELS WITHOUT THE ENGLISH DIALOGUE.

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If you have any questions or if something here isn't listed, ASK ME FIRST.

Other things:

Please be resonable when simping over my art. All of my art is strictly SFW (outside the occasional sex joke) and it makes me really uncomfortable to make visually suggestive shit. (Asexuality spectrum coming in lol) So again, if you simp, please keep it reasoable. Don't say some fucking vile shit you wouldn't say to me irl if you want to simp over my art. When people over sexualize shit it makes me uncomfortable.

However, this all goes out of the window if you simp over a character I've drawn that's a minor, unless you specify you're a minor yourself, that's an instant fucking block.

Blank/Default PFP blogs with no content will be blocked due to safety concerns with all these fucking tumblr bots swarming the site recently.

Feel free to send me asks in the askbox!

Commission Status: Closed until further notice.

I don't really do requests, but if you send an ask and I happen to like your idea, there is a small chance I'll put it in my queue.

[thepowerisyouth]

Eh mental health is annoying. Buying & cooking cheap low-FODMAP diet is annoying. My best top note for now is I'm using this blog to practice writing. I need more practice in it. I only know business, accounting & economics stuff. Its stupid stuff. Theres too much actual fraud everywhere that its annoying

Also I use mobile so formatting sucks cause Nvidia GPUs, or Arch dont like tumblr site. Or tumblr site dont like tumbkr site

Also also I 100,000% support all my fellow ones-and-zeros and their identity. Everyone is welcome here.

Except transphobes/zionist/long list of others but you get it. I'll help harrass any of those types endlessly if someone wants to tag me, and bring me in on an argument like that friend you call for backup with fights

Im unhinged so who's to say exactly what will end up here but this is also a completely public blog to me friends, family, hell, even acquaintances i dont give a fuc.

Blog should be expected to be roughly as child-friendly as simpsons or bobs burgers. But also boring like a civics/economics lesson sometimes. Yay

--------

I (and my husband) am ex mormon. Its a weird thing. Look into it if you havent recently. Realllllyyyy look into. Takes time to figure it all out in this fuckin fucked up world.

I just moved a year ago. Didnt watch the US stock market as much as I normally do. Had my first snowstorm 10 weeks ago, that was.. fun to handle while ill prepared. About 6 weeks ago I was hopping back on the market and notice its a huge tech bubble about to pop and all the conditions Ive been warned about my whole career imply this is not good. Just took a little more thinking & digging and I'm a little too confident to stop talking about it now.

(Oh I'm also care-free as fuc so I dont really read or desire to change past posts more than lil-nitpicks. More informative for the reader & myself-in-the-future-reading that way)

And I'm not kidding I do love feedback & questions. Its a very public blog tho so I get that part for sure.

If you search "life story" in my tags I had that pinned for a min Im just moving shit around rn

Being poor sucks. Will write more on that later.

---------------

First of all-- the exact timeline of an "economic shock" is literal insanity. Dont worry about the exact timing of any of this-- just know its doomed to happen soon.

Here are some effects I predict of this upcoming economic downturn

If anyone comes across any sources for these events that support my arguments please feel free to add in comments, reblogs, etc.

This concise list is mainly for my own reference, but it would be great to add to it if any one has something to add!

0.5. US Stock market collapse-- I have no desire to try and predict this one exactly. Too many conspiracies are actually correct about this big guy. Lets just say 7 US Tech stocks are worth 25% of the entire worlds market, roughly. "Too big to fail"-- I believe is the phrase

1. Corporate (slightly later will be residential by extension) real estate crisis: currently way too overvalued. Most of the houses, land, & urban corporate property we see could stand to decrease by about 60-90% from its current price.

2. Bankruptcy crisis: similar to the after-effects of the 70s inflation-- we can expect to see a huge wave of bankruptcies affecting a variety of business: from the micro-self employed; to the small business with leased buildings; to the largest corporations who commit massive accounting fraud & hope to escape accountability in time

3. Bank runs-- there is an extremely high overreliance on the Federal Reserve, who does not have good control over this situation. Once it becomes clear that there is a crisis (we call this a catalyst event)-- bank runs for physical cash are a surety. Hard to say how long a crisis like this might last. I should ask my siblings who lived near the SVB bank crisis hotspot (but those were rich fucks they do their "bank runs" over the phone)

3.5. Global currency collapse, which takes effect in every single local, state, & national economy at slightly different times. This means prices lower. Much lower. But takes time

4. Whatever the fuck the geopolitics is gonna do???. Its weird. You got Russia wanting to invade Europe? (Look at global economic forum 2024) Trump wants to let them. Biden wants to be an establishment corporate ass. North Korea has changed its #1 public enemy to South Korea (dont remember my source but it was a couple months ago). USA is stationing more troops in Taiwan, but probably only because of semiconductor technology?

The scope of our global financial woes are larger than can be explained in any of our lifetimes. Its much, much closer to pre-revolution France or the late 1920s. Big change is coming. Itll be soon

5. More to come

[cru5h-cascades]

Ah... the Serafina series...

Ight so in middle school I'd avidly read the books from this series that I could get my hands on (which were only two out of the four OG books: Black Cloak, which I owned, and Twisted Staff, which they had in the school library) (I read Black Cloak more since I had easy access to it) and gah DAMN these were my bread & butter back then after I grew out of the Spiderwick Chronicles (which I might make a post like this soon because I loved that series, or at least the original 5 books). I dunno I just like the kinda dreamy feel of these books I guess. After 8th grade, I wasn't as interested in these books anymore and I didn't bother get the other two (oh boy... the stuff I missed out on...) and shoved these books into the backseat of my mind. But then a few months ago, I remembered this series out of nowhere... and then realized how weird the series was (or at least the two books I actually read), and things only got weirder after I decided to look up the series & see what I missed out on...

Here's just some of the stuff I either randomly remembered from the books I read or found out via Google:

The first & second book keeps repeating the same line (something along the lines of "she was a creature of the night" or whatever), or at least a lot towards the beggining of Twisted Staff & a lot towards the end of Black Cloak. Like we get it bro this kid's the decendant of catamounts (or, as I'll be refering to them as, werecats, 'cause that's what they basically are). Like I wouldn't mind if this line was in the books once or twice but for me personally, it feels kind of excessive.

Changing Serafina's look after she turns into a big cat wasn't that nessisary, nor did Beatty have to choose a singular, specific big cat for Serafina's big cat form. Panthers can mate with mountain lions (and the same applies for other big cats and cats in general) Serafina should have just been able to turn into a panther/mountain lion(?) hybrid and could have kept her original human form traits because people can look more like one parent than they do the other. It's how genetics work.

SERAFINA FUCKING DIES IN SPLINTERED HEART?? AND COMES BACK TO LIFE? Girl's got some major plot armor. Dare I say kid's maybe even a Mary Sue (doesn't think people will like her for her two tone hair and junk, managed to beat up two grown ass men with magic powers, got her werecat powers even if we were told in the begining of Twisted Staff that Serafina couldn't transform, and has survived near death experiences and was brought back from the dead)

I'm probably forgetting some more stuff but damn... this series was weird. I feel like some stuff should have been handled better, tbh, specifically the stuff I just listed. I liked what they did with Serafina's abilities in the first book, with her having big cat-like abilities while in human form, and I feel like they should have built up upon that concept instead of just giving Serafina her big cat form when her mum specifically says it wouldn't be possible for her to transform. But damn... not even my nostalgia for this series can stop me from critisizing the series like this. Of course, I, a teen in high school, isn't quite the main demographic for the series, so I might be looking too far into this. Like for middle schoolers, I can see them enjoying the series for what it is (I should know 'cause I was one of them), but yeah looking back on these books, they were kinda weird. I liked them, and they're fun to look back at, but still weird.

I know they made some graphic novel adapations of the series (or at least one for Black Cloak) last year. If anyone reading this has read what's been released so far, how is it? I kinda wanna know :D