#this isn't some transm*d take (i vehemently disagree with their view) i just have issues when it comes to myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maxbytes · 1 year ago

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i won't lie i kinda wanna drop the Stefan name for just Max, but like. the entire reason why i kept Stefan is bc it's the masc form of my deadname and i don't hate my deadname so i can "settle" for the slight change. i can keep the vestiges of the self i grew up in so i don't rock the boat too much, it doesn't ask a lot from people. and there's this voice that's like "what did you do to """deserve""" to wear the nametag of your idealized self? this Max guy? you're not that guy. you wish you were that guy." but like what exactly do i have to do in order to be that guy? before i deserve to have his name? before i deserve to drop the self i had before?

#this isn't some transm*d take (i vehemently disagree with their view) i just have issues when it comes to myself #if i take other people at their word when they say they're this person or that person then why can't i make that jump personally #i don't need to do anything to deserve to be called whatever name i want. it's just a name.#but it's like. idk. it's like ''how dare you throw away the identity you were given? who do you think you are?''#well. i'd like to be that max guy to be quite honest. the idealized self in my head that has a cool name #maybe the identity i was given is trash. maybe i don't have to be grateful for what i was given.#maybe i'm allowed to change #sorry for being insane on your dash

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