#this isn't really about anything i just saw that post the other day and i was like. why doesn't this Hit for me. well this is why
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incesthemes · 10 months ago
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"their relationship is romantic" "their relationship is familial" "their relationship is platonic" you're thinking too narrow. their relationship goes beyond labels. the family is inherently queer. their platonic love is romantic. the erotic is familial. each one is the other and the other is them
#.txt#i've gotten to the point of relationship anarchy where i no longer understand the obsession with labeling relationships#there's a post floating around like 'it doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic the point is that they love each other'#and i get the message. however may i propose that distinctions such as that don't even have to matter. consider#bold claim probably. but whatever i didn't have the choice to think about love in a normative way and as a consequence i have thoughts#of course i am thinking about wincest but it applies everywhere. jopzier even#jopson views crozier as a surrogate parent but in an inherently queer way. does that mean he want to fuck his mom? probably not#but the fixation and need for redemption turns the traditionally familial relationship into something far more#do you understand#once you leave the normative behind labels become useless#do sam and dean love each other romantically or platonically or familially? consider: it doesn't matter. there are no words to describe it#their love is queer in the sense that it extends beyond normativity. society holds no sway over them. they are ungovernable#i find it ultimately unhelpful to discuss fiction in normative terms when the characters themselves exist outside of normative society#shows like supernatural and the terror are perfect examples. sam and dean were never normal and franklin crew left normal behind#the arctic doesn't care if you fuck your mom. the impala doesn't care if you kiss your brother#this isn't really about anything i just saw that post the other day and i was like. why doesn't this Hit for me. well this is why#however it IS helpful to discuss fiction set within normative society in relation to normativity. it's relevant!#most stories are not however set within the bounds of normativity. that's kinda the whole point of a lot of fiction#baby i explore relationship anarchy in ways that you couldn't even imagine#<-tldr#i have a tendency to write essays in the notes every time i post something. sorry about that. it feels safer here and i am skittish
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fanglesshound666 · 3 days ago
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sorry if this is terribly offensive but I dont get why the "men are bad" jokes (as long as they ARE jokes) are inherently bad
#I personally don't do them#But as a transman it never occurred to me that I should take offense abt them#Maybe its cuz i dont have much actual experience with others perceiving me as a transman and have others say things about it#But to me saying that is like telling people from latam to stop making jokes about gringos#Because then they'll have a “justification” to be racist and xenophobic to us#Like i saw a post the other day abt a guy saying “ooof being alt-right and thus being a bigot sounds SO tempting but i dont do it anyways”#And everynyan was like so true oomf#Like idk props to the guy for not being a bigot#But like. Wdym#Like to me “men are bad jokes” have always been against the Abstract Social Figure of A Man that the patriarchy benefits and not like#Actual men individually#Maybe that is just me not getting the intentions behind some of the jokes and ive been misunderstanding all this time#Like half of the people in my life (there are like. 7 which cannot be devided by 2) are men#Maybe when i transition and become older ill get it#If u want to discuss ill really appreciate it#Dear god the last thing i want to be is a terf#Please tell me if ive been brainwashed by terfs#I do understand that terms like “man” “woman” “nonbinary” and such essentially dont mean anything#And that everyone (including cis people) have a different gender because the gender binary isn't real#Which is why i identify as a bi gaybian#Maybe thas it y'know#Like last month there was an event in the country organized by the only queer group here#That was “women and nonbinary” only#Like. What does that mean. Like have u ever wondered what that means#They should invent a costarrican queer group that isn't so white queerish
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idkimnotreal · 1 month ago
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i think a bi guy might want something from me. i don't know if he's closeted.
#bisexuality#he caught me smiling at him off guard#he tried getting my attention which a friend has said is too effortful to be just teasing and he also stares#i've been getting into this universe to see how bi people think#i found an alt account on inst@ where he posted poems#a lot of them definitely feel like 'closeted bi' energy#but poems are really ambiguous so it could be about a lot of things. and i'd already felt deep boy vibes from him#he has a gf#i don't feel like judging him because this might be the first opportunity he has had to do anything about it#in fact i feel regret for not noticing things before and thinking he was mocking me or daring me#he might be thinking about this for months now this was a while ago#it's definitely different if he's closeted#he might feel alone#in a way most people can't fathom#and he trusts me if he's choosing to let me know this but he is in a relationship#unless it's open i mean all possibilities are a thing which is why not judging is important#so i have a vibe too if he took that decision without knowing me#a similar vibe to his because he got me to smile at him off guard which for a gay guy is a huge no in most cases#i've been mad at him for months because he stares and i know he has a girlfriend since he brings that up in class#last time he stared i stormed off the room because i was already intent on changing classrooms for other reasons#but then i arrived late and i was confused because we had a new tutor and when i sat down he was staring#i felt exposed because he KNOWS i am into him. he's known since that first day when he saw me smiling#but this can't be mocking. i think it's mocking when i hate myself and i've hated myself every day for months this year#this changed recently#he's not evil and i'm definitely not the last person on earth far from it and i mean come on look at that face he's just not ev#so he can't be teasing and he can't be thinking about intentionally hurting his gf which leads me to think he needs help if he's so intent#on letting me know about this#he needs something from me and i cannot deny it to him#because that is who i am#also isn't this literally evak from skam
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foxxsong · 1 year ago
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It's so hard to think about anything other than what happened right now. Every stray thought, every pause in what I'm doing, every time I've woken up all week... And the worst part, for me, is that I don't even feel like I have the right to be as upset as I am. Like I haven't done enough or am not close enough, as if that's somehow supposed to mean that I can't be distraught about something so horrific even if I didn't have a connection to the people it happened to - no matter how tenuous.
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shinobicyrus · 6 months ago
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I've seen a lot of posts about Batman using his Bruce Wayne alter ego for the good of Gotham: job programs for felons released from prison, orphanages, charities, high wages for his employees, ethical business practices...the legendary post where Bruce Wayne goes to Wal-Mart.
Thus far I've never personally seen anybody really dig into the persona of Bruce Wayne the Billionaire Playboy. A handsome, rich, powerful man who always is seen at fancy galas, art openings, charity dinners, and wild parties with at least one beautiful woman on his arm.
We know Bruce Wayne is the mask, and its Batman who has a...complex love life, depending on the iteration we're talking about. Talia, Catwoman, sometimes Wonder Woman.
Bruce Wayne's dates, on the other hand, are all "normal" people. Maybe they're an aspiring actress, a supermodel, a prima ballerina, the occasional reporter...and every time there's that bit of nervousness at the start.
Sure everyone knows Bruce Wayne. Everyone knows the story with him. Sometimes his wilder parties make the news, but there's never really been anything nasty reported about him. Never...allegations. But he's a billionaire. He's one of the most powerful people in the whole city, nevermind the country. If he did have some skeletons in his closet. Well. Men with power have a way of making those kinds of stories go away, don't they?
As time goes on the Date's fears dissipate pretty quickly. Bruce Wayne is nothing but polite, kind, and at times charmingly awkward in an 'raised by his butler in a mansion' kind of way with his dates. Some of them can tell he's holding back, of course. Maybe the more perceptive Dates notice he's smarter than he lets on - playing the himbo or hamming up the "know-nothing rich boy" act to the cameras or some of his wealthy peers.
He also listens, is the thing. He's always listening to what they're saying, is interested in hearing about their careers, their hobbies, their lives. Really listens, too. Might refer to something a Date said weeks later off-hand. Buy out the whole museum for a private dinner date with a famous painting from an obscure artist they like, or a private performance with another's favorite band.
He has anecdotes and funny stories for days that somehow says very little about his personal life. The Dates know he has kids (it's practically a running gag in the news that Bruce Wayne has adopted yet another orphan) and maybe she might spot one of them at the mansion, but Bruce seems very keen to shelter them from any intense spotlight and scrutiny, and they all seem happy if a bit weird like him.
Eventually, there's drifting. He's a very busy man, with a very busy schedule. On more than on occasion his nice old butler will call and extend apologies that Mr. Wayne will not be able to make it this evening. Sometimes it's virtually impossible to get a hold of him over the phone. After a while they stop trying. None of them feel quite surprised by that. In the end, it just doesn't work. Sure, he's a little distant and doesn't make himself emotionally available...but he's not a bad person.
Especially when the so-called "exes" of Bruce Wayne start networking. Gotham isn't a small city, but the social circles Bruce Wayne travels in aren't as big. They don't quite gossip or complain about him. More like...who else would get it?
(I touched his side once and he winced...like he'd been hurt real bad there. He laughed and said it was tackle polo. How does that even-?)
(Somehow, after two dates, he saw right through me and listened while I told him what that casting director tried to do. He nodded, gave me the contact details of a law firm, and said not to worry about the legal fees.)
(I don't know for sure it was him, but it can't be a coincidence that my building got bought out from under my shitty landlord and we were all able to buy our apartments under market value.)
(He got my brother in the best rehab program in the city after his relapse. It probably saved his life. We'd stopped dating months ago, I still don't know how he found out.)
(He gave me a card with a phone number and told me that if I was ever in trouble to call it. Said one of his cars would come to pick me up, any time, any place, no questions asked. The one time I did have to use it after a bad party, it was Alfred.)
I think any tabloid reporter digging around for salacious stories or dirt about Bruce Wayne's love life would be completely and politely stonewalled when they try asking his former Dates. Even when money is offered. Every single one of them.
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whencartoonsruletheworld · 2 months ago
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Hey so like many of you, I saw that article about how people are going into college having read no classic books. And believe it or not, I've been pissed about this for years. Like the article revealed, a good chunk of American Schools don't require students to actually read books, rather they just give them an excerpt and tell them how to feel about it. Which is bullshit.
So like. As a positivity post, let's use this time to recommend actually good classic books that you've actually enjoyed reading! I know that Dracula Daily and Epic the Musical have wonderfully tricked y'all into reading Dracula and The Odyssey, and I've seen a resurgence of Picture of Dorian Gray readership out of spite for N-tflix, so let's keep the ball rolling!
My absolute favorite books of all time are The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. Classic psychological horror books about unhinged women.
I adore The Bad Seed by William March. It's widely considered to be the first "creepy child" book in American literature, so reading it now you're like "wow that's kinda cliche- oh my god this is what started it. This was ground zero."
I remember the feelings of validation I got when people realized Dracula wasn't actually a love story. For further feelings of validation, please read Frankenstein by Mary Shelley and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. There's a lot the more popular adaptations missed out on.
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier is an absolute gem of a book. It's a slow-build psychological study so it may not be for everyone, but damn do the plot twists hit. It's a really good book to go into blind, but I will say that its handling of abuse victims is actually insanely good for the time period it was written in.
Moving on from horror, you know people who say "I loved this book so much I couldn't put it down"? That was me as a kid reading A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Picked it up while bored at the library and was glued to it until I finished it.
Peter Pan and Wendy by JM Barrie was also a childhood favorite of mine. Next time someone bitches about Woke Casting, tell them that the original 1911 Peter Pan novel had canon nonbinary fairies.
Watership Down by Richard Adams is my sister Cori's favorite book period. If you were a Warrior Cats, Guardians of Ga'Hoole or Wings of Fire kid, you owe a metric fuckton to Watership Down and its "little animals on a big adventure" setup.
A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry was a play and not a book first, but damn if it isn't a good fucking read. It was also named after a Langston Hughes poem, who's also an absolutely incredible author.
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is a book I absolutely adore and will defend until the day I die. It's so friggin good, y'all, I love it more than anything. You like people breaking out of fascist brainwashing? You like reading and value knowledge? You wanna see a guy basically predict the future of television back in 1953? Read Fahrenheit.
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain and To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee are considered required reading for a reason: they're both really good books about young white children unlearning the racial biases of their time. Huck Finn specifically has the main character being told that he will go to hell if he frees a slave, and deciding eternal damnation would be worth it.
As a sidenote, another Mark Twain book I was obsessed with as a kid was A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Exactly what it says on the tin, incredibly insane read.
If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin is a heartbreaking but powerful book and a look at the racism of the time while still centering the love the two black protagonists feel for each other. Giovanni's Room by the same author is one that focuses on a MLM man struggling with his sexuality, and it's really important to see from the perspective of a queer man living in the 50s– as well as Baldwin's autobiographical novel, Go Tell it on the Mountain.
Agatha Christie mysteries are all still absolutely iconic, but Murder on the Orient Express is such a good read whether or not you know the end twist.
Maybe-controversial-maybe-not take: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a good book if you have reading comprehension. No, you're not supposed to like the main character. He pretty much spells that out for you at the end ffs.
Animal Farm by George Orwell was another favorite of mine; it was written as an obvious metaphor for the rise of fascism in Russia at the time and boy does it hit even now.
And finally, please read Shakespeare plays. As soon as you get used to their way of talking, they're not as hard to understand as people will lead you to believe. My absolute favorite is Twelfth Night- crossdressing, bisexual love triangles, yellow stockings... it's all a joy.
and those are just the ones i thought of off the top of my head! What're your guys' favorite classic books? Let's make everyone a reading list!
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amomentsescape · 5 months ago
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Slashers x reader with wings. Reader's wings are bound, hidden and look heavily damaged from that.
How do the slashers find out? How do they react?
Add the crow guy, Eric, I think?
Slashers with Winged! Reader
Slashers x Reader (Separate)
Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, Bo, & Eric
A/N: I am once again sleep deprived, so I apologize if there are any typos or nonsense that I didn't catch reading through this. Thank you for your request!
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Freddy Krueger
As mentioned in many previous posts, you can't really hide anything from Freddy
Whenever you sleep, you're in his territory, and he can do whatever he pleases
And one of the last things he'll ever let you do is hide yourself from him
He could see the damage from all the years of hiding your wings, binding them up in hopes no one would notice
And this honestly pisses him off a bit
Why would you ever want to be like everyone else?
Your wings were beautiful, and they made you that much more special
The moment he sees your wings free, you better believe he'll never let you hide them again
Anyone who even gives you the slightest look will be dealt with that same night
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Michael Myers
Another one that you can't really hide anything from
He may let you think that he doesn't know about your wings
But in reality, he's known about them this whole time
However, he won't push you to reveal yourself to him until you're ready
It's not like it's a huge deal to him anyways
He's neutral about the whole situation
Wings or no wings, nothing will sway his opinion on you
Just don't wait too long to talk to him about it though
The more time that passes, the more irritated he'll become
Because after this much time together, you have to fully trust him now
Right?
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Jason Voorhees
Jason is pretty much clueless from the start
It's not that he isn't observant to you (he watches you 24/7)
It's just that he fully respects your boundaries and won't even hold your hand unless you tell him he can
So when he accidentally walked in on you one day and saw your damaged wings, he just stands there in shock
He snaps out of it when he notices your bashful and worried face however
He's just so confused on why you would hide this from him
He thinks your wings suit you perfectly
In fact, it makes him feel even more assured that you two are meant for each other
He also grew up wanting to hide a part of himself
But having each other means fully embracing the insecurities of the other
He doesn't ever want you to hide your wings from him again
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Thomas Hewitt
He honestly would have never even knew about them if it wasn't for his need for late night affection
He just wanted to cuddle up next to you in the middle of the night
But he was met with something out of place on your back
He couldn't help but peek, and the moment he did, he was stunned
But did he even think about running?
No. He just decided to wait until morning to talk to you about it
When he asked you, he could tell you were uncomfortable
And because of this, he did everything he could to reassure you that he wasn't upset or grossed out by your wings
He loves them!
He took them in his hands gently and carefully removed the bindings
There will be no more hiding from him after that
And he'll happily caress your wings every night until you feel reassured
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Bubba Sawyer
Bubba didn't mean to walk in on you like this
But the moment he sees the wings, all decency goes out the door
He stumbles in further, his hands reaching out to them
They're breathtaking... but why are they so damaged?
It physically hurts him to see you in any type of pain, and yet you've been carrying this around with you this whole time?
He's a bit hurt you didn't feel comfortable talking to him about this, but he's even more hurt by the fact that they look painful to you
He doesn't even let you protest before he's breaking the ties and freeing the wings
He's blubbering to you, making you promise to never hurt yourself like this, especially when it's something so cool
He spends the next few days playing with your wings, admiring them like a kid with a new toy
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Brahms Heelshire
The day he finds out about your wings is one of betrayal
Brahms refuses to let you keep secrets from him, and hiding such a big thing from him upsets him greatly
How can he trust you?
You’ll need to give him some time to cool down, but once he does, he’ll be on you
Will force you to free your wings so he can play with them
It honestly hurts him a bit to see the destruction brought to them
He empathizes with you a bit
He has also spent a good portion of his life hiding a part of himself
But it’s because of this experience that he refuses to let you do the same any longer
You’re with him now anyways
He’ll never let you leave the house
So there will never be another soul to judge this part of you ever again
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Norman Bates
He’s kind of speculated for a bit that you were hiding something
He didn’t know exactly what, he just could feel it in his gut
This insecurity was beginning to eat away at him until the day he finally saw the truth
It would be a lie to say that he wasn’t a bit scared at first
Angels have wings, but so did the devil
But seeing your pained expression reassured Norman that you were far from something evil
Once he let everything soak in, he’ll be all over you asking questions
He wants to know everything about you and your wings
He doesn’t want you to hide them anymore, and he’ll take the time each night to clean them and help heal them from years of damage
These are a part of you, and he loves everything about you
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Billy Loomis
Billy doesn't really speculate anything
He's confident that he would be able to tell if you were keeping anything from him
Until the night he sneaks in through your window in hopes of surprising you
But instead, he's the one with the surprise
He sees you looking sadly at yourself through the bathroom mirror, your damaged wings on full display
He spends the next few days going radio silent towards you
But on the fourth day, he storms your room and interrogates you on your wings
Why the hell would you lie to him?
He doesn't care that you have something that makes you "different"
He's simply hurt that you kept it from him
However, it only takes an open conversation for him to calm down
He's still a little pissy but happy to know the truth
Just don't keep anything from him again
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Stu Macher
This boy is absolutely clueless
But his unconditional, completely suffocating affection is what finally makes you feel comfortable to open up to him
And when you do, his eyes widen and his jaw drops
You almost think he's going to be upset until he speaks
"That's fucking sick"
Has you unbind them immediately with the promise that you won't keep them hidden away like that anymore
He constantly reassures you that anyone who sees them will have the same reaction as him
There are thousands of people that would kill to have wings like yours
Stu included
So don't ever hide something that literally makes you so unique
He loves them
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Vincent Sinclair
You honestly told him about your wings right away
It was after a deep conversation about his own insecurities over his appearance and scars
He showed you his face, and you showed him your wings
It was a raw moment of vulnerability between you two, and all it did was strengthen your bond
After that night, you rarely saw him wear that mask, and he refused to let you tied up your wings like that again
He wants to love the real you
And any part you hide from him is a part of you that he can't love freely
He thinks your wings are beautiful, and you become even more of a inspiration for his art
You are quite literally an angel in his eyes, and he won't ever take advantage of that
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Bo Sinclair
He was being flirty and touchy, as Bo does
And the moment he felt your back, he was throwing questions at you left and right
There was no lying or hiding the truth from him any longer
Bo hates secrets
So when you fully reveal yourself to him, he's shocked
He doesn't really know what to say at first
He didn't think something like this was possible
But after finally accepting the reality of the situation, he angrily begins tearing off your bindings
How dare you hurt yourself like this? How could you willingly lie to him after all this time?
He's a good mixture of disbelieving and pissed at you
It'll take a couple days to fully understand the situation
But once he does, it's smooth sailing
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Eric Draven
Eric is all-knowing
And he knows that you're keeping something from him
But unlike a lot of the others, he's not upset or angry about it
You'll tell him when you're ready, and he trusts you enough to know it isn't anything terrible
And once you do open up about it, he's in absolute awe
His companion is a crow for goodness sake
To think he was ever going to react in any way other than admiration would have been stupid
He does get a bit emotional seeing your wings all tied up and damaged however
He's gentle with you as he sets them free
To see that pain you put yourself through really upsets him
He doesn't ever want you to do something like that again, especially when he sees this as a true gift
He'll spend the rest of the night cleaning and taking care of them, lulling you to sleep
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mxstellatayte · 1 month ago
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Hi! So I lobe what you have been posting and really want one with either max or mick?
One where they don't realises that they are covered in hickey or scratches?
And it gets called out by either the fans or the press/other drivers?
Please do nsfw either a flashback or one afterwards with a bit of revenge towards our dear reader
Thank yoz and keep up the amazing work 🫶🫶
hey there! i absolutely love all the detail you've given me to work with <3 also i straight up had a physical reaction to this because RAAAAAARGH this is. so hot. also this takes place before singapore 2024 :)
taglist: @vivi-81 @irishmanwhore @lucycowr @benstormy @anat33-blog1
@xoscar03 @tremendousstarlighttragedy @nenamalenaa @champagneproblems17 @marknolee
@toby33b @soloqualcosa @sassyinchident808 @slutmeoutsworld @itsgrlalmghty
join my taglist here!
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it was the flash of papaya among a sea of navy blue that snapped max out of the zoned-out daze he'd been in for the past few minutes. lando.
thank christ.
he reaches out his hand, clasping the mclaren driver's own and bringing him in for a brief hug before stepping back. thankfully, there isn't any media around right now, or max might just flip a table. he's getting real sick of putting up a wall of friendliness when all he wanted to do was escape to his driver's room and mentally prepare for the upcoming qualifying session.
they make small talk for a few moments, talking about the track evolution throughout the day, the brutal heat and humidity, the added drs zone, lap times...
"you get up to anything last night, mate?" lando quirks an eyebrow and sips from his black drinks bottle as he asks the question, leaning his hip against a random storage container.
you'd been wandering around the paddock with lily zneimer while max finished up in the post-practice press conference, doing anything you could to escape the absolutely brutal singaporean heat. however, it seemed that the moment max left you alone, any man within a ten kilometer radius immediately decided to flirt with you.
as soon as the press conference was over and max was released from any further duties, he began searching for you throughout the paddock. after fifteen unsuccessful minutes, though, he thankfully ran into someone who might have a vague idea as to where you may be.
"daniel, have you seen-"
"mclaren hospitality with zneimer."
"thanks."
as max approached the painfully orange building, he heard your voice, mood immediately lifting. what he heard, however, pissed him off beyond measure.
"-told you, i have a boyfriend. i'm not interested. now, if you could kindly fuck off, i'm trying to enjoy my lunch."
what the fuck?
when he rounded the corner, he saw who you were talking to, and... really? this guy thought he had a chance with you? if there was anything more about the situation that could piss max off even more, it's the fact that he's leaning in way too close for his- and your- comfort.
"hey, schatje. everything all good over here?" max rests a hand on your shoulder, deliberately placing himself between you and this creep who won't leave you alone.
"yeah, everything's good. how did the press conference go?" you tilt your head back, and max immediately understands, ducking down to kiss you quickly.
it's that moment that the man bothering you chooses to speak up, and he somehow says the one thing that wouldn't help his situation right now, embarrassing as it is already. "could've just said you had a boyfriend. fuckin' bitch." max's hand twitches on your shoulder and you bring your own up to rest on it, holding him in place. instead of any other reaction, max offers him a fake smile before he storms off, leaving the two of you to burst into laughter.
max sits down next to you, steals a bite of your croissant, and leans back in his chair, a cocky smirk on his face as he chews the flaky pastry. "i was eating that, thank you very much."
"i'll buy you another one," max replies nonchalantly as if he didn't just stare daggers into the heart of the man that was flirting with you. "it seems like you need something that tells people you're taken, though."
later that night, max's lips and teeth ghosted across the skin of your neck, breasts, and thighs as you squirmed beneath him, promising that the blues, purples, and yellows that mottled your skin would ensure that no one would even think about flirting with you.
"nah, nothing much," max lies. "just the team debrief, some sim work, checking over numbers with gp, that kind of stuff. what about you?"
"nah, nothing much," lando responds with a shrug, teeth still clamped around the bendy straw. "played some padel games with max but we were roasted by the end of it. fell dead asleep by nine."
"yeah, the heat always beats it out of me here. i'm probably going to sleep for thirteen hours straight after the race on sunday."
"i probably will, too, honestly, but mostly because i can't beat the jet lag here." max nods in agreement, taking a sip out of his own drinks bottle. "a little birdy told me that you got up to more than just racing review, last night, though."
max's eyebrows furrow in confusion, and he swallows the gulp of water he'd taken. "what do you mean?"
"your neck, mate."
max whined as his hips canted up into yours, his hands desperately grabbing at your arms. your tongue laved over your teeth marks, matching blues and purples littering the lower part of max's neck but coming high enough so that they'd be just visible over the high collar of his fireproofs and race suit. "fuck, schatje, feels so good."
"yeah? you like everyone knowing that you're mine?" all max can do is nod pathetically, biting down on his lower lip in order to muffle the sounds he so desperately wants to make. "use your words, max."
"love it, want everyone to know i'm yours. everyone needs to know."
"there you go, baby." your hips resume their previous pattern, and you groan openly at the delicious slide of max's cock inside of you, filling you up so perfectly. he cries out when you shift your lips lower, taking his left nipple between your teeth gently, and you're able to pry one of his hands from your arm, bringing it to your own breast in hopes that he gets the memo.
he does.
max's hand immediately kneads at your breast, and you groan, your mouth shifting over to his other nipple and repeating the same ministrations, letting your teeth graze it ever so slightly between gentle licks and sucks. "mm, fuck, schatje, gonna cum, 'm gonna cum-"
"so cum for me, max." that's all max needs to hear before his head is thrown back and a beautiful moan rips itself from his throat, and you can't help but press your fingers into the bruises that litter his thick neck. the combination of the high-pitched wails that fill your ears and the feeling of max's cum filling you beyond full makes you fall over the edge, too, and you collapse onto his chest with a satisfied giggle.
max's hand immediately comes up to his neck and he tries not to wince at the flashes of pain that zip through his body, stemming from the lingering bite marks you'd left the night before, his eyes flashing wide. "that bad?"
"that bad," lando confirms with a nod and a smirk. "you might want to go find her and make her cover them up for you before qualifying."
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mysteryshoptls · 2 months ago
Text
SSR Jamil Viper - Room Relaxation Voice Lines
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When Summoned: Well, of course I would go all out on taking care of my appearance. Particularly on my birthday, when I'm to be the man of the hour.
Summon Line: I should take time to relax, at least on my birthday of all days, huh... True, I guess it might not be terrible to have a breather in my room sometimes.
Groooovy!!: I think I could afford to switch up my makeup application every once in a while. ...Maybe just for my birthday, at least.
Home: I'll just rest a bit.
Swap Looks: I should tend to my hair.
Home Idle 1: Won't I ever cut my hair short? Well, this length may require extra care, but I think I'll keep it this way for a while. I actually rather like it.
Home Idle 2: I received a birthday card from Jade. He could have just handed it to me directly, so why did he bother posting it in the mail...?
Home Idle 3: This stays between us, but... Whenever my birthday draws near, I get a little excited. Pretty childish of me, isn't it?
Home Idle - Login: In my private time, I have many things I both want to do and should do. I'd like to make the most of that time.
Home Idle - Groovy: Ortho mentioned he noticed that my makeup was different from usual. I'm not saying he's wrong, but... It's a little embarrassing to have it pointed out right to my face.
Home Tap 1: I like to wear oversized and comfortable clothes. Not only is it perfectly loose-fitting, but it's also easy to move around in.
Home Tap 2: Rook-senpai really does just call anything beautiful, doesn't he? He said as much when I ran into him by chance while wearing this outfit, how absurd.
Home Tap 3: What's my roommate like? Well, he's not a pain, or anything. He's the kind of guy that doesn't care at all if I start doing stretches in the middle of the night.
Home Tap 4: I felt a quick shiver when Malleus-senpai suddenly hailed me. There's no way I would have ever expected that he'd just want to wish me a happy birthday.
Home Tap 5: Whenever I pick out new outfits, I always make sure to try them on first. Of course I make sure to look at the design and material type, but I also like to put an emphasis on comfortability.
Home Tap - Groovy: You want to know what hair care products I'd recommend? ...I don't mind, but don't go telling other people. I'd hate for it to be even harder to find in stock.
Duo: [JAMIL]: I'm expecting a good gift from you, Ortho. [ORTHO]: I think you'll definitely like it, Jamil-san!
Birthday Login Message: So, you remembered my birthday, huh. Thanks. ...Hm? There's something on my head? Oh, it must be some of the confetti from the party poppers. Just a moment ago, Ace and Floyd set some off. I already had my suspicions about what was to come when I saw them trying to lurk in the shadows, but I pretended to be surprised for them. Why...? Well, if I don't give them the right reaction, who knows what'll happen next, right? Even so, they still griped about my lack of reaction. Geez, what do they want from me?
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Requested by @farfalla049.
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unconventional-lawnchair · 2 months ago
Note
Hehehehe okay so what if you like wrote a fic about remus lupin x reader. The reader is a teacher (preferably like astronomy) and they're sneaking around together. students are making bets and stuff to see if they'll end up together, some girls just ship them really hard.
They're trying so hard to keep it a secret but they are so bad at it.
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Me @ every guy who isn't a fictional wizard from the 70s ^^
An: This fluff attempt goes out to you, rip
Rumors
Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader
cw: A lot of kisses and cursing, stapler mishandling
Masterlist
WC:4181
The halls of Hogwarts were filled with hushed whispers and mindless patter of gossip. The newest topic of the year? 
Professor {L/N}, the newest astronomy hire. An Alchemist who perfected her work through star charting. Lupin had recommended you for the post to assist Sinistra. Mostly, however, you were hired on to assist with the newest project under Dumbledore. With your studies in the North Pole, you were tasked with on and off communications with the centaur herd within the Forbidden Forest. Specifically, their astronomy masters. It was easy, given your track record with magical creatures. Creating a bridge of mutual understanding between the professors and the herd. Dumbledore also saw you valuable to both potions and alchemy class; meaning you met a lot of students very fast.
So almost everyone knew you, you ran a tight ship in class, playful and respectful to the students paired with a charming personality, no one could bring themselves to even hate you.
That's probably how the rumors began, truthfully. Who doesn't want their two favorite teachers to end up together?
Much like Lupin, the students adored you. Hermione especially, after learning of your academic achievements of the past, while being a muggleborn witch. 
Your first reaction to seeing him probably don't help. First few steps into your new place of employment and you hurry over to the only face you cared to recognize, and give him a hug and a thank you for the recommendation. 
It wasn't anything big and it wasn't anything of a spectacle, but Merlin, was Hogwarts boring. The thrill of gossip seemed to have every student in a choke hold. Some said you were both childhood friends turned lovers, some said you were married and it was a scandalous affair, most of the rumors were just students talking about how perfect you both fit together. 
Your caring, funny, and nurturing behavior, to his stern more rugged form of bonding, you were affectionately dubbed ���mum and dad.’ 
Never to your face however, and mostly by the first and seventh years. Something about growing shame and losing it in your final days of Hogwarts, remarkable.
~~~
“I'm telling you! He looks at her like she is the very stars she teaches us about!” A seventh year sighed dreamily with her friends. She had her chin in her palms and was staring up at the front of class while a few of their classmates took the practical exam. “I wish someone would look at me like that.”
“Really! I haven't seen so much tension between two faculty before! I wouldn't be surprised to find them snogging in the halls!” One of them joked and the other girls laughed.
“Truly, but I saw Professor {L/N} wearing a wedding ring. She took it off and put it in her pocket before class started. I wonder if they are, you know~ Never have I seen Professor Lupin wear one.” She wiggled her eyebrows and the original girl spoke up with a gasp.
“Oh don't you say that! Professor Lupin and Professor {L/N} would never!” She tutted and another voice chimed in, a boy from a seat behind them, making the three turn.
“I heard that they spent Christmas at school together.” Cedric cheeked and the three girls gasped and began to murmur among themselves about it, before Lupin clapped his hands.
He found it a bit amusing, he had let them continue that far. This is what his classes have become, listening to the students muttering about him and you, seeing how close they could possibly get to the truth. Remus, at a fault, was a gossip. He learned to love the thrill of rumors from Sirius and James, but what was better than rumors about you and a colleague? Rumors about you and a colleague that were so close to the truth.
“Right now! Who's next?”
The rest of the class went smoothly, everyone finished their exams and the classroom began to file out. As Lupin got comfortable in his seat, his door peaked open.
“If you are here for tutoring, please note my hours are posted on the door, this first hour has been reserved already.” Lupin called out from his chair, head leaned back. 
“Tutoring, hm?” A song-like voice rang out from the door. He slowly smirked and leaned forward, eyes locking onto yours. You were holding a box of Merlin knows what, walking straight up to his desk with that beautiful smile. 
“Is that so unbelievable?” He teased, voice lower as he stood up and walked around his desk. Looking over your shoulder to peek into the box, seeing several random objects, including a stapler, a retractable ruler, a metal pointing stick, and other random muggle things.
“Oh, totally. I think I remember you almost lost it when Peter asked for your notes.” You teased him and he chuckled, his breath brushing against your neck. He admired the way you seemed to not flinch, but melt into his proximity. 
“Peter was a terrible student.” He mumbled and you laughed, his hand slipping around your waist and leaning down to kiss the side of your neck. You laughed harder and squirmed away. 
“Hands to yourself. Now, show me where I can hide this contraband.” You lifted the box and shook it a bit. “The things they allow in muggle schools! Hmph!” You mused and he laughed, walking you up to his office and to the far back near a storage closet. He opened the door for you and you set the box down, looking around curiously.
The room was small, but big enough for four people to stand in it comfortably. The walls were covered in shelves filled with items from all over the school years, you ran your finger along one of the shelves and let the dust collect.
“What's on your mind, hm?” Lupin mused and you turned to smirk at him.
“Just wondering where they are hiding the really bad stuff. Still in Filtch’s closet?” You hummed as he stepped into the small room with you. His eyes looked you over and you gave him a look.
“Why's that, darling?”
“Just curious, out of all the things in that closet,” You hummed as Remus wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you against him. Your fingers dancing along his shirt collar. “Wonder how many of them were from you and that little gang of yours.” You hummed and he laughed.
Leaning down, he pressed his lips to yours. It was chaste and sweet. He loved moments like this, away from everyone, where he could love you properly. He gave a hum as you got on your toes and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down as he pulled you closer.
~~~
“I truly don't  think they have something going on. It's maddening really! The whole school seems to see it but me!” Ron groaned as he walked down the hall with Harry and Hermione, seemingly offended at the idea that the new Astronomy teacher was dating or even had interest in Lupin.
"I wouldn't put too much stock in rumors about someone's love life, Ronald," Hermione retorted, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, sorry Ron, but you're kind of…” Harry rolled his wrists and Ron narrowed his eyes.
“Kind of what?” 
“Kind of..” Harry trailed off.
“Kind of a complete idiot when it comes to love.” Hermione finally snapped, hugging her books to her chest. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to meet Professor Lupin.” She huffed and stomped off.
Ron was left standing there like an idiot, looking over at Harry. 
“What did I do?”
Harry tried to hide his smile and patted Ron's shoulder to urge him along and out of the halls.
~~~
The kiss had grown a bit heated, Remus pushed you deeper into the closet as he muttered about how badly he needed to have you in his arms. How much he loved you, how he wanted you closer, so impossibly close.
You, of course, returned the sentiment. He was made for your hands it seemed, every moment he wasn't between them made you yearn for just another hour of listless cuddles or moments like this. Sneaking away from responsibilities to show your love and devotion to one another. 
If only it could last longer-
“Professor Lupin?” Hermione's voice called out into his office. Remus cursed and you quickly stumbled back. He cleared his throat, shuffling through the confiscated objects, to find anything he could snag. 
“I'll be out in a moment!” He called back as you fixed his tie and ruffled shirt, he grabbed the first thing he spotted and stole another quick kiss from you before leaving the room.
You leaned against a shelf and watched from the crack of the door in amusement as Lupin hurried to his desk.
“Ms. Granger, I am terribly sorry, is it possible for us to reschedule?” Remus pressed and looked at what he had in his hand.
A stapler.
Why on earth did he grab a stapler?
Quickly he sat at his desk and pulled out a few assignments. Grabbing some he had already graded and began to staple them together. 
Hermione was no fool and he knew that, she stared at him in bewilderment, slowly putting her hands on her books tighter. “Uhm, Professor? Isn't that the stapler Professor {L/N} confiscated from Creevey?” 
Lupin began to staple things a bit quicker, waving her off. 
“Yes, Ms. Granger, I think it would be, but I did borrow it from the confiscated,” He weaned on, collected and poised, a bit too good at putting up a face. Everytime you two have almost been caught, he's shown this side. 
“Why would you possibly need a stapler?” He asked in disbelief.
“To.. staple?” He lifted his eyebrow at her. “I do appreciate your curiosity, but I assure you this is none of your concern.” He spoke idley, having opened the stapler and pressed the top down against the pages and his table. Hermione seemed appalled at the misuse. 
“Now, if you'll please allow me to pick another time-” Before he could finish his statement, he attempted to raise his hand, only for his wrist to be locked in place. He looked down, just to see he had stapled his own sleeve to the desk under a few pages of paper. 
You had to cover your mouth and so did Hermione.
“Uhm, on second thought, sir, I think I'll spend my study hour in the library.” She slowly smirked, turning to briskly walk away.
Remus slowly sunk his face into his hands, the second his classroom door was closed he waved his hand to shut his office door. Only for the room to be filled with your laughter.
You walked out of the room, holding your sides as Lupin lost his front and stared at you with flushed cheeks.
“Not a word-”
“No! No please!” You wheezed out. “Several! Several words must be had!” You doubled over his desk, struggling to get the staple from his sleeves, when you finally managed, you were throwing your head back absolutely lost in boisterous laughter.
Remus wasn't even mad. How could he be? You looked so damn happy. So giddy with joy at the embarrassing show he put on. Quickly, he stood, walking around his desk with a purpose and grabbed your cheeks. You were still struggling to catch your breath as he playfully scoffed at you.
“Not very polite, Professor {L/N}.” He taunted and you grabbed his biceps and clung to him to try and clam down. It didn't help when he leaned down and began to pepper kisses all over your hot face. 
“Mercy!” You wheezed and he shook his head.
“What happened to all those words, Professor?” He teased and you shook your head, giggling as he absolutely mawled you with his lips.
~~~
The Grandhall was lively with the buzz of Sirius Black’s attacks. Managing to get into the Gryffindors’ common room was a feat that bewildered everyone.
However, what everyone was truly talking about was how he broke into the astronomy tower and Professor {L/N}’s office. It had managed to get out that Sirius Black himself left you a note that Dumbledore promptly confiscated. More accurately, the conversation was about how unbothered you were about the news.
That, and how a certain professor reacted to that news. 
He had gone down to the commons with McGonagall to check on Harry and the other students. Only when Flitwick came up in a rush and announced the break in and how you were nowhere to be found, the students watched in horror and shock as Lupin pulled his wand and ran from the towers at a speed they couldn't determine was truly human.
He found you soon after, running down the hall towards the Gryffindor tower, also looking for Harry. He stopped and pulled you into a tight hold no one could see. You were confused at first, but you eventually melted into him. You two were spied on by none other than Colin Creevey, who snapped a photo and was showing it around the lunch table. 
“See! I knew it! What a romantic! Ran straight to her in the face of danger?” One of the seventh years swooned and Ron scoffed.
“I don't get it, it's just two people hugging.” He mumbled and began to poke at his food, the twins giving each other a look before they rushed to tease Ron.
“Two people hugging,” Fred started.
“Hands below the waist!” George chimed in, holding up the photo as if to emphasize his point, gesturing to where Lupin's hands were holding you so tight your heels were slightly off the ground.
“Oh, how scandalous.” Fred concurred and Ron rolled his eyes.
“I hug Hermione, does that make us secretly married?” Ron pushed and Hermione quickly looked down at her book in a slight flush. 
“You wish.” George snickered and Fred clapped his hand on Ron's back, making him cough on his potatoes.
“Really, Ronald dearest, you wouldn't know the difference. You hardly know how to hold a girl now.” He teased and George nodded along.
“You'll get there one day, brother. For now you'll have to trust us.”
“This,” They both pointed this time.
“Is not a normal hug.” Both of them spoke at the same time.
Angelica finally spoke up. “Given the context, that man is whipped. Even if nothing is happening now, he is so in love it's humbling.” She got up and gathered her Quidditch gear.
“Come on boys.”
“Right behind you.” Fred purred and earned himself a look from her over her shoulder, George laughed as the three of them hurried off. Leaving the photo for Ginny to pick up.
“Oh yeah, there is absolutely no platonic explanation for this.” She hummed and tossed it to the center of the table, Neville shrugged, no wanting to contribute. 
“I think that whatever is happening between those two, it's clear they care about each other.” Hermione hummed and Harry finally agreed. Suddenly, he looked at his friends with a look of absolute mischief.
“Do you know how we can find out?” He mused and Hermione gave a groan and Ron shot up in his seat.
“How?”
Harry smirked and pulled out the map the twins had gifted him, showing it off to his friends with a cocky smirk. You had caught him with it days ago, and simply zipped your lips and walked away.
“If they are meeting anywhere, it's likely the astronomy tower.”
~~~
Now.. the plan didn't go exactly as planned.
“And I simply can not comprehend how all three of you continue to be the only Gryffindors I've had to reprimand this year!” Lupin’s voice filled the otherwise silent and empty Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom. Unfortunately for the trio, who were out far past curfew, Lupin just so happened to be on his way to the Astronomy tower when he spotted them seemingly just on time for his arrival.
“What about my brothers?” Ron muttered before Hermione shot him a look, elbow jabbing his side.
“Ronald.” She hissed.
The entirety of Hogwarts Valley had been buzzing with the news of Sirius Black’s newest escapade into the castle and Lupin could not comprehend why the three thought it was a good idea to do everything but what they were told. 
“Safety comes first and for me to find you lot outside of your dorms with a murder on the loose? With this bloody-” Lupin began to lift the map before his eyes snapped up at the sound of his door opening. He quickly shut his mouth when he saw you peak into the dark space.
“Remus?” You called out, before you paused and stared at the four infront of you. Your mind firing off a million excuses in quick succession. “Oh, I was unaware you had company.”
Lupin sighed and rubbed his face, seeming to untangle himself from the thralls of his anger. It wasn't uncommon for you two to find eachother late at night like this, but was certainly not the greatest idea of his yet- reprimanding the trio when he knew you'd be coming. As you always did when he didn't meet you at the Astronomy tower as promised. His favorite part of the end of a stressful day was a night full of whispers, stories and playful remarks. Reminiscing on your school years while recreating some memories long forgotten after the war. This time, not in his dorm, but his office or your room. “It's quite alright. I can still review your lesson plans.”
He was a terrifyingly good liar. That should not be attractive.
“Right. I will be in your office, Lupin.” You remarked and began to walk past the group of three who looked at you like you might save them. Sorry kiddos- he was grumpy enough as it was. 
You gave them a grimace, glancing at the map before quickly looking away with wide eyes and hurrying over to the office. Lupin caught the look and held up his hand. “Stop.”
You squeezed your eyes shut and slowly turned to face him. Giving him your adorable nervous look that you knew didn't work on him- well, you tried.
He made a come hither motion and you walked over, ready to be lectured like the kids beside you. He held up the map and you gave a nervous smile. 
“What? However, did you find this, Harry? This is supposed to be in Flinch’s office!” You gave the worst and most unbelievable fake disappointed tone, hands on your hips and frowning down at the three. You struggled not to smile as Harry gave a small one, before laughing a bit. Hermione covered her face in a mix of fluster and secondhand embarrassment. Ron was grinning ear to ear. 
“{L/N}...” Lupin warned and you huffed.
“You got me in trouble with the big boss here, Harry.” You teased and he finally cracked his lips into a brighter smile. You looked back at Remus and slowly interlocked your fingers in front of your lips, as if it did anything to hide your face. “In my defense-”
“You three are dismissed.” He mused quickly and slammed the paper on the table beside him. You tried your best to hide your smile. It was hard to take him seriously when you have seen him panic and staple his sleeve to a desk. The trio hurried to shuffle out, Harry sent you a greatful look and you simply winked at him. Something Remus rolled his eyes at.
“Did you see Harry with the map?” He asked in a stern tone when the kids left. You looked away and tried to look a little regretful. 
“It's very possible.” 
“And you didn't think to take it?” He asked in an incredulous tone.
“I mean, it certainly crossed my mind.” You slowly stopped hiding your smile and looked back to the taller man who was taking a few steps into your space.
“And you didn't?” He pushed.
“Well, in all fairness, Rem. It is technically his.” You snarked back finally and Remus gave a bitter laugh. 
“Professor {L/N}, did you think that maybe if this map fell into the wrong hands it could cause a serious danger to Harry?” He pushed and you clicked your tongue. You knew who he was talking about. A conversation you've had a million times, well, more an argument. It got worse when he heard of the note.
He was so willing to believe Sirius Black to be a killer, while you believed Sirius could bring himself to the point of ending someone's life, James Potter was more than a human to him. Even with his plea of guilty, you couldn't believe it. James, Lily, and Harry? You would stake your life on it. He was innocent.
It was what you were looking for, an explanation, hopefully that was what the note was for. But unlike your communications with the magical creatures of the forest, Dumbledore was not so willing to give up information when he had it. The old prick-
“I hate when we talk about this.” You huffed in honesty and leaned back on one of the desks of the room. He sighed through his nose and pinched the bridge that connected it to his forehead. “Honey-”
“Ah ah ah! Honey is for marriage.” You mused and he did his best to fight the smile growing on his face. Easily letting you steer the conversation from his own negative thoughts, he hated being upset around you. “That so?”
“It's very so. More so than most so’s.” You hummed and he blinked a few times at you before he couldn't help but smirk. 
“Give me my mother's ring back then.” He mused and held out his hand. You have a faux gasp. 
“Excuse you, sir. I seem to remember your mother telling you this belonged to me.” 
“When we were 18!” He challenged, letting himself fall victim to your antics. Like school children. “And last I checked, your reaction was less then pleasant.”
“We had been dating for a year and I was going to the North Pole in my defense, tart boy.” You scoffed and cringed at the memory. How you practically fall out of your chair when Hope made a comment about her ring. 
“Tart boy?”
“Tart boy.”
“I'll show you a tart boy.” He scoffed and took your cheeks. You giggled like a goofball, grabbing his lapels and trying to pull him closer. He smirked at you and kept his distance.
“Remus-” You huffed and glared at him a bit. His smirk only grew as he reached into your pocket, pulling out the modest gem. You rolled your eyes fondly and held out your hand for him, he slipped the ring back in its rightful place.
“Sorry, call me old fashioned. But I'd like to kiss my fiancé, not my coworker.” He teased and you couldn't help but laugh. 
“You absolute sap.”
“Hard not to be.” He mumbled and leaned in, finally kissing you. Both your eyelids lowered but he held eye contact. So much affection bumbling in your chests, it was too much to look away. Eventually, you gave into your shyness, closing your eyes. He slowly pushed your knees apart and slipped between them, making your face grow hot.
He pulled away at this and you huffed, he smirked at you when you looked back up at him. “Hey, sir, your lips on mine again. It's a marital duty and all that jazz.”
“Thought we had to be married for marital privileges, honey?” 
“Oh don't use anything I say around you against me, I can hardly think.”
He bellowed out a laugh at your mischievous look up at him. Slowly biting your lip as you struggled to keep your confident act up.
“Whatever will I do with you, {L/N}?”
“Well, I have a few ideas.” You hummed and began to fiddle with his tie. He curled an eyebrow and you looked forward, looking up at his hazel eyes with a playful pout. “Kiss me again. I promise, you keep my lips occupied, no more bad behavior.”
“Because you won't be able to talk?” 
“Precisely.”
“What in the world!?” You suddenly heard from the far corner of the room. Your face filled with shock and snapped over to see an empty corner, you could of sworn you heard Ronald just a moment ago.
 Remus quickly moved from between your legs and waved his wand, yanking off the invisibility cloak to reveal an appalled Ron, a delighted Harry, and a flustered Hermione.
“Bloody hell!” Remus boomed and you covered your mouth and looked away. Doing your best not to laugh.
“Yes, mum and dad do kiss when the kids are away.” You cheeked and Remus looked at you like you had just made some grand offense to his ears.
Hermione giggled and Harry’s smile grew ten fold.
Ron, however, seemed very displeased.
“I owe the twins so much money.”
495 notes · View notes
cheapshrimpysheep · 2 months ago
Text
Popular with the Ladies
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SUMMARY: You discover that the demon brothers went to The Fall to have some kind of brothers night through photos posted on Devilgram. Both in Asmodeus's account and other demons’s accounts. Especially succubuses. What will they do when you seem uncomfortable or even upset about this?
CHARACTERS: Demon Brothers (Lucifer; Mammon; Leviathan; Satan; Asmodeus; Beelzebub & Belphegor)
TAGS: Fluff; Fem!Reader (just for the context of the idea); Comfort
WARNING: Possible Spoilers for the Devilgram story from the "Popular with the Ladies" card
WORD COUNT: An average of 720 words per character.
COMMENTS: So, I got the "Popular with the Ladies" card in Nightmare and read the Devilgram story, and I was expecting more. So I was slightly disappointed, and that's why I decided to write what I would have liked to have read.
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CONTEXT: This takes place in the Nightbringer timeline. Because I don't believe they would leave MC at home alone while they have fun.
You were in your bedroom in Cocytus Hall, scrolling through Devilgram when you started seeing those pictures. Photos of the brothers surrounded by succubus, some of the accounts of these same succubus with one of them at their side. In the case of Mammon and Asmo, the photos with them were almost as if they were friends with the succubus. In Beel's case, he looked unbothered by the photo. In Levi's case, he looked a little uncomfortable, but there were still some photos of succubus with him. In Satan's case, he didn't seem to pay any attention to the photos being taken of him. In Belphie's case, there were photos of him sleeping on the shoulders of two or three different succubus. But there were practically no photos of Lucifer other than those that his brothers took with him.
Solomon told you that if you talk to them and you wanted a way to find out if they flirted back or not, he had a crystal ball that could show you what really happened. But to do so, they would have to touch the ball as a kind of consent to show the images.
The next day, at RAD, you run into each of them, as usual. But this time you're not so happy to see them.
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“Good morning, (Y/N).” Lucifer greets you as always. You greet him back, slightly less excited to see him than usual. “Is there something wrong?”
You stay silent for a moment, until you tell him that you saw the photos on Devilgram that showed he was in The Fall last night.
“Oh, that. Yes, Asmodeus has wanted to do this again for a long time. But I honestly don't know to what extent he genuinely wanted to have fun with his brothers or just wanted to prove that he was the most popular of us all. I'm sorry we didn't invite you but, you see, it was a brothers' night, like Asmodeus said. Don't worry, we will certainly invite you to any other occasion.”
However, this ended up not changing your mood much.
“Hmm... Not being invited isn't the problem then?” he thinks for a moment. “What did you see in those photos?”
You say that, specifically with him you didn't see anything much, but with the others you saw a lot of photos of them with succubus. And you say that if that was happening to them, it certainly would have happened to Lucifer too.
He laughs and smirk. “So you're jealous. I can't deny that you look very cute like this. So I'm going to appreciate it a little more.”
“But you don’t need to worry about me. And to reassure you, no one approached me. Nobody ever does. In addition to knowing that I have an intimidating presence, I believe everyone knows that such an effort will not be worth it. After all, according to Asmo's own words: ‘You can't flirt with someone when you know their heart will always belong to someone else, can you?’ Even though at the time he said that, he and Beel were referring to Lord Diavolo to tease me. But believe me when I say that, apart from jokes, this statement undoubtedly refers to you.”
He holds your hand.
“You have absolutely nothing to worry about, my love. I am only yours like you are only mine, and no succubus has the slightest chance of changing that.” he kisses the back of your hand. And then gets closer to your face, maybe even your ear. “And I can prove it to you tonight if you want.”
You accept this proposal, but once back in Cocytus Hall, you tease him, saying he can prove it to you through the crystal ball. Solomon was out somewhere.
Lucifer looks at you with a dangerous smirk. “Very well then. If that reassures you more than my word.” He was looking at you with those sharp half-closed eyes.
Through the crystal ball you see what Lucifer described before. He was on a couch with Asmo and Beel when they started talking about no one approaching him.
“True. I don't remember ever having person after persons come up to flirt with me like the rest of you.” Lucifer says.
“Huh, I wonder why...” Asmo comments.
“Because Lucifer's only interested in Lord Diavolo.” Beel answers.
“Don't make it sound weird.” Lucifer replied.
“Ooh, yes! I know what you mean!” Asmo continues “You can't flirt with someone when you know their heart will always belong to someone else, can you?”
“Nope, you sure can't.”
“Now hold on a second!” Lucifer returns and then says smugly. “You're only mentioning Diavolo because you don't want to talk about the person you're truly thinking about.” The other two widen their eyes as if he had caught them. “What you said was true, Asmo. But that statement does not apply to Diavolo. And you both know it.” Beel and Asmo don't say anything. “What's wrong?” Lucifer says with a smirk. “Was it because I mentioned her?”
Asmo quickly changes the conversation and you can tell that both he and Beel seem to feel slightly guilty. The crystal ball becomes opaque again.
“You should know by now that I wouldn't lie to you.” Lucifer tells you, looking you in the eyes, and with that smug face that indicated trouble for you. “Especially on this matter. I thought I already taught you that. But perhaps I was too... soft...”
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“Hey (Y/N)!” Mammon greets you as always. You greet him back, slightly less excited to see him than usual. “Yo, what's up? Where is the excitement of seeing the Great Mammon once again?”
You look at him, grumpily.
“It wasn't me, I promise.”
You ask what he ‘didn't do’.
“I don't know, but I don't like the way you're looking at me.”
You take your D.D.D. out of your pocket and show him some of the photos of him with succubus as if the two of them were really close or something. Mammon PANICS!
“Wa-wa-wA-WA-WAIT!!! THAT IS NOTHING I SWEAR! THEY JUST ASKED ME TO TAKE A PHOTO WITH THEM! I DON'T KNOW THEM! THAT’S JUST A PHOTO I SWEAR! I DIDN'T THINK THIS-!!!”
You turn your back on him.
“NO! No! Please believe me. This is just somethin’ I've always done. And it started to happen more after I started my modelin’ part-times. It's just fan photos and stuff.” You comment that it didn't seem that casual. “Okay, maybe I was a little happier after drinking a little, but that's it, I swear!”
You took just one step forward, in the opposite direction to Mammon who was behind you, when you feel two arms hugging your legs. Fortunately, not in a way that would make you lose your balance.
“NO! No! Please! I love you! Only you! These are just pictures, I swear. I will never do that again.” If you look down, you'll see his face looking up at you like the saddest puppy in the world.
You then remember Solomon's crystal ball and tell Mammon about it. He agrees to show you what happened without thinking twice.
Back at Cocytus Hall, Solomon was still out somewhere and you and Mammon are alone in your bedroom.
Through the crystal ball you see Mammon sitting on one of The Fall's couches with two succubus, one on each side of him. And he seems to be having fun. You look at him upset and he doesn't take his worriedly look away from the crystal ball. He can't look you in the eye, but it's like he's waiting for something.
He takes the photos you saw with them. Until one of them started hugging him and kissing his cheek. Mammon pushes her away from him with his arm and you can see him upset. “OI! What do ya think you're doin’?!”
The two get even closer to him. “Aww, come on~ I'm sure even the Great Mammon likes some variety~” says one of the succubus
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“You're not going to say that you just like to have fun with that dull human, are you~?” says the other succubus “We could do much-”
Mammon gets up abruptly and turns to them still sitting on the couch. “Ya mention my human one more time like that and ya’ll regret it! Get off my couch!”
They try to soften him up a little more, but that only irritates him even more. He threatened them once again to leave and they sulked away. And the crystal ball becomes opaque again.
“Ya see?!” Mammon says to you. “I told ya nothin’ happened! They even irritated me and I sent them away. Nobody talks about ya like that! You are my human. My one and only (Y/N). And I am your first. Your favorite demon. I would never-”
You interrupt him with a kiss, and he reciprocates with all the love and passion he has for you, hugging you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.
“I love you. No matter who I'm at a party with, I belong to no one. But you. Ya ear me?... So... can we continue? I really missed you last night.”
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“Good morning (Y/N).” Levi greets you with a smile, but you greet him back slightly less excited than usual. “Oh, what’s wrong? Did I do something? I did something didn't I?” he said worriedly. “I'm so stupid I don't even know what I did.”
Stopping him from continuing his self-deprecating spiral, you tell him that you saw the photos of him with succubus at The Fall last night on Devilgram. And he panics! More than it already did.
“WHAT?! Tha-that wasn’t me! They wanted to take photos and I couldn't say no. I didn't want to be rude so I accepted. I was so stressed! Mammon and Asmo tricked me! I didn’t know what to do. I was so uncomfortable. I just wanted to go back home, to my games, to my manga. I so wish you were there so I could cling onto you. NO! WAIT! Forget the last part!”
You knew there was a really good chance he was telling the truth. Any other hypothesis would make no sense. But even so, you wanted to test Solomon's crystal ball and you tell Levi about it.
He stutters, but ends up agreeing with as much confidence as he could find in himself, although it wasn't much.
Back at Cocytus Hall, Solomon was still out somewhere and you and Levi are alone in your bedroom.
Through the crystal ball, you see Levi sitting on a couch in The Fall with two succubuses, one on each side. Mammon and Satan were nearby surrounded by succubus too. You can clearly see that Levi is uncomfortable and blushing a lot. But everything indicates that his blush is due to embarrassment. You see the succubus trying to get closer to him and he shrinking and withdrawing. You can hear them calling him cute as he awkwardly thanks them.
You also see the moment when they ask him to take photos. He tries to reject it but he can't, because the succubus make him feel bad for rejecting the photo.
You see the inside of the crystal ball fill with fog to jump to a scene later that night as they are about to leave. Two other succubus are very close to Levi as if they wanted to hold him in his arms but he hadn't allowed it yet. He politely and shyly tells them that it's late and that he has to go home with his brothers. And that's when they say:
“You're not in a rush to get back to that human, are you?” At that moment, Levi's posture stiffens. The succubus smile and continue. “Come on, cutie, wouldn't you prefer a more vigorous woman to make you happier? That dull human must be so weak. She can't even do half of what we-”
“Okay, that's enough!” Levi says, his embarrassment completely disappeared and he seemed to control how upset he really was. “I tried to be nice, but you crossed the line by talking about (Y/N) like that. Firstly, I was just being polite to you, I don't want to have anything to do with you nor do I want to see you around me again. And secondly, you would never come even closer to how incredible and wonderful (Y/N) is! You have no idea who you are insulting right now, nor what I am capable of doing if you continue. So leave me alone!”
The succubus took a few steps back and calmly returned to The Fall, sulking. And then the crystal ball becomes opaque again. Levi has been silent the whole time, and when you look at him it looks like he wants to hide in a hole.
“I can't believe I spoke like that.” he muttered to himself “Out loud. In public! OMG, that was so embarrassing. I am so embarrassing. I should never have gone, I should have left there straight away. Why did I believe in that good-for-nothing of a brother...”
You hug him, which startle him. “W-w-wha?! Y-you're n-not mad?” You tell him no because he told you the truth and you were very happy to see him defending you like that. He hugs you back almost crying (or maybe actually crying). You feel his desperate embrace.
“You have no idea how horrible that was. I was so uncomfortable. I just wanted to hide in my room and never come out. I missed you so much! *sob* I just wanted to be with you! *sob* Like this! I love you so much! Don't let them fool me like that again, please...*sob*”
If you start kissing him on the face, this will only make him even more emotional and make the hug tighter. If you keep going, he won't let go of you for a VERY long time. He needs your comfort.
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“Good morning (Y/N).” Satan greets you as always. You greet him back, slightly less excited to see him than usual. “Is there something wrong?” You're still not sure whether to tell him or not about the photos you saw at Devilgram and he notices your hesitation. “If there is something bothering you, you can tell me. Whenever you feel comfortable to, of course.”
With that, you decide to tell him. He is first surprised because he didn't know these photos existed. And then he becomes furious that photos were taken and published without his consent.
“So they took the pictures anyway, even after I said no. What kind of photos are these?”
You show him some. They are all photos taken when he wasn't looking. Surrounded by succubuses who seemed attracted to the way he ignored them or demonstrated mere good manners with a lack of interest in them. However, in some of them he was smiling while talking to one or another succubus. He noticed that in these, his expression became slightly sad or worried.
“I think I remember that one.” He says “She had started talking about a book that had recently come out and that I happened to like. This photo must have been taken before I realized that she didn't know what she was talking about and had only started talking about the book to please me. But now that I think about it, she must have done it all just to get this photo.”
You see him getting angry again. That smile behind the aura of growing rage. You put your hand on his shoulder, trying to make him look at you in an attempt to calm him down a little. He looks at you as if he had just noticed your presence at that moment after being immersed in his angry memories of that photo. And his expression changes. He calms down and, although he is still upset about the photos, he is more concerned with reassuring you.
“Listen, I only went to The Fall last night because Asmo insisted on a brothers' night. After all the problems I've had with them, I decided to myself that I would always accept these types of invitations. But that was the only reason I went. I would have much rather stayed home reading any of my books, or with you. I can assure you that pretty much all of those succubuses were just annoying me.”
Knowing Satan and the seeing pictures, everything indicated that he was telling the truth. But even so, you wanted to test Solomon's crystal ball and you tell Satan about it.
“Would you like to see what happened then? With pleasure. If that will give you peace of mind I'll show you whatever you want to see.” he says with a confident smile.
Back at Cocytus Hall, Solomon was still out somewhere and you and Satan are alone in your bedroom.
Through the crystal ball, you see Satan sitting on a couch in The Fall with two succubuses, one on each side. Mammon and Levi were nearby surrounded by succubus too. You see him backing away a little whenever a succubus tried to approach him, until he realized that if it continued like this it would be preferable to simply get up and leave. So he just gives up.
“I didn't want to leave because, like I told you, I was there for my brothers.” Satan tells you “And I didn't want to spend all that time standing either.”
You see the moment he told you about, when one of those succubuses mentioned the name of the book because she had heard about it in Devilgram or something. That's when he finally looks at her for the first time and she smiles because she got what she wanted, his attention. He starts talking about the book and his opinion on it, but it's when he starts asking the succubus questions that her mask starts to slip. She said she didn't remember the names of the characters and the answers were vague and the kind that would serve for any question. He starts to get suspicious and decides to ask her a trick question, which she falls for.
“You haven't read the book. You don't even know what you're talking about.”
“OH, come on~!” the succubus says “You should relax here, not talk about books. Now that you've finally looked at me, don't you think it's better to look at than words on a page~?”
“Not really.” Satan answers boldly and sincerely.
“What?! Oh, come on~ there must be someone here who piques your interest more than books.” another succubus says “Maybe me?”
“If you really want to know if there is someone capable of making me stop reading to look at her, yes, she exists, but she is not here and she is not a succubus either.” he reveals, starting to get irritated.
“You're not talking about that human, are you? She is just-”
“Be very careful with the words you let out of your mouth because if you don't, you're one sentence away from irritating me enough to bring this place down with all of you in it!” He finally snapped, and the succubus calmly withdraws as if afraid of a time bomb exploding. And a crystal ball becomes opaque.
“Now that I hear it, I'm not very proud of what I said.” Satan says, slightly embarrassed. “But I don't regret it. Nobody insults you in front of me.”
You hug him. You say that maybe he exaggerated with his words, but you were happy to see him defending you like that. He hugs you back and kisses your forehead. You feel his embrace grow more affectionate.
He sighs in relief, "It's so much better to be with you like this."
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“Good Morning hon~!” Asmo greets you cutely as always. You greet him back, slightly less excited to see him than usual. “Aw~, what's wrong? It seems like you're upset about something.” You look at him with a disappointed look. “What? Don't tell me you're like this because of me? What did I do?”
You take your D.D.D. out of your pocket, open his own Devilgram profile and show him all the photos of him with succubuses, having fun together as if you were extremely close. He plays it cool, but behind the cute voice, he was worried.
“Aw, don't worry hon. They’re just pictures for my fans. With... my fans. It's nothing special. It's just something I always do. You know, as an influencer I have to create this kind of content. You understand right?” He looks at you with innocent little eyes and a sweet smile.
That doesn't convince you, and the fact that he's the Avatar of Lust doesn't help either. Your look is an indecisive mix between angry and sad.
“Nothing happened, I promise. I know I don't give off the air of the most faithful person in the world, but that doesn't mean I will love anyone other than you. Ever since I fell in love with you, the most I give to others are hugs. And that's all you can see in the photos too.” You still weren't convinced. “I would never lie to you. *sigh* If there was a way to prove my loyalty to you.”
This reminds you of Solomon's crystal ball and you suggest to Asmo that you use it as this way of proving that nothing serious happened last night. He accepted without hesitation, and comments that he can't wait to see (again) how pretty he looked that night.
Back at Cocytus Hall, Solomon was still out somewhere and you and Asmo are alone in your bedroom.
Through the crystal ball, you see Asmo sitting on a couch in The Fall surrounded by succubuses. And he was hugging some of them, mainly to take pictures. His face often came close to theirs, but never touched them. He seemed to be having fun flirting with the succubuses or incubuses that approached him.
The Asmo beside you couldn't even deny that he was flirting. He doesn't say anything either, and you feel him uncomfortable beside you.
You see the inside of the crystal ball fill with fog to jump to a scene later that night as they are about to leave. A lot of succubus are very close to Asmo, each of his arms around waist os one of them. And it's when he lets go that they grab him back.
“OH, come on Asmo, what happened to you?” one succubus asks.
“Hum? What do you mean?”
“The only thing you've done this whole time is flirt with us and give us hugs. Don't you want to do anything else? You know~ Just like old times~?”
“Sorry~, I'm not that Asmo anymore. I've changed. No offense, dear, but I don't need it anymore.” He explains with a cute smile trying not to offend them.
“It's that human's fault.” another succubus comments to the rest of them, allowing Asmo to hear it as well. “She must have put a chastity spell on him or something. You know we can help you with that baby. Set you free.”
“She didn't... You know what, maybe you're right. Maybe she really did put a spell on me. And I feel great about it. I've never been happier. And now that I think about her I feel so happy that I only wish you the same. Ah, I should text her. Or call her. Aw~ now I just want to see my little Sheep-chan~” He turns his back on them and walks towards the exit as if he had completely forgotten about their existence while he was thinking about you. And a crystal ball becomes opaque.
“You see? I told you the most I did was hug. Okay, I admit I still find it fun to flirt with others, but that's just it, you know, like I find it fun to tease my brothers.”
Seeing the satisfied look on your face, he puts his arms around your waist, pulling you closer and kisses your cheek lovingly.
“I promise if it hadn't been a brothers’ night I would have called you.” he kisses you again “But don't worry, no one else will feel these lips but you.” He will continue to kiss your face until you let him kiss your lips.
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“Good Morning (Y/N).” Beel greets you as always. You greet him back, slightly less excited to see him than usual. “Hum? Is there something wrong?” You're still thinking about whether to tell him about the photos you saw or let it go. “You don't look well. Did you eat something that made you sick?”
He really seems concerned about you, so you decide to tell him the truth. You tell him that you knew he and his brothers went to The Fall last night throw some pictures that were posted on Devilgram. Most of them were with Asmo, but you found one or two of Beel sitting with succubuses.
“They took pictures I didn't even notice.” He says.
You ask what they were doing sitting with him?
“I don't know. Some just sat down next to me out of nowhere. But Asmo told me later that they were trying to flirt with me, I think.”
“And you didn't realize that?” You ask
“Nope. I was just thinking about my mixed nuts. You should try it. I don't know where they get them but The Fall's are really good.” He smiles, like he always does when he thinks of a food he likes.
You laugh at his obliviousness. There is no reason for you to doubt Beel. You think that there is no need to use Solomon's crystal ball, but you would still like to test it and tell Beel about it. He responds that he doesn't mind and is happy to help you.
Back at Cocytus Hall, Solomon was still out somewhere and you and Beel are alone in your bedroom.
Through the crystal ball, you see Beel sitting on a couch in The Fall alone. He had a neutral expression, looking around as if he just wanted to distract himself. You ask if Belphie wasn't with them.
“He was, but I think at this point he was with Levi. He was feeling uncomfortable there so Belphie went to keep him company.” You ask why he hadn't gone with them. “I was waiting for my mixed nuts. I didn't want them to get the wrong table.”
You see a group of three succubuses approaching Beel. One of them asks with a smile if they could sit there and drink with him. To which he replies: “There are plenty of open tables over there.” You burst out laughing as you watched the sulking succubuses retreat. The Beel beside you smiles seeing you laugh.
You see Asmo arrive with Beel's mixed nuts and asking what happened to those succubuses. Beel tells him.
“What?! I can't believe it!” Asmo says “Don't tell me that you didn't realize that they were trying to flirt with you?!”
Beel doesn't respond, just looks at Asmo unbothered and slightly confused.
“Oh my... So you really didn't realize? Those poor girls... If they'd only come over to me instead of Mr. antisocial here, I would've made sure that they had the night os their dreams.”
“I think they were interested in Beel because he doesn't chase after every girl he sees.” Lucifer says as he approaches them.
“Lucifer! That's so meeean... It almost sounds like you're suggesting that I am the one who does that.”
“Even if I had realized *munch* *munch* it wouldn't make a difference *munch* *munch*  No matter who comes up to me *munch* *munch*  I won't flirt back. *munch* *munch* Even if I knew how.”
“You don't know the fun you're missing.” Asmo says.
Beel shrugs and continues eating as the image fades and the crystal ball turns opaque.
“Sorry we didn't invite you.” Beel says to you. “But Asmo wanted it to be a brothers' night like the ones we had before. You're not upset that you didn't come with us, are you?”
You say you're not upset and hug Beel. He gives you a loving bear hug and kisses your cheek.
“I promise we'll invite you next time.” He says with his cute smile.
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“*yawn* ´morning (Y/N)~.” Belphie greets you as always. You greet him back, slightly less excited to see him than usual. “Hum? What's wrong? Didn't you sleep well?”
You say it wasn't that, well maybe a little, but the truth is that you were like that from the pictures you had seen of him at The Fall last night. He asks what photos and you show him some of the ones you found in Devilgram. All of them with him sleeping on the shoulders of some succubus.
“I don't remember these photos.” He tells you calmly, as if he is completely sure of his innocence. “They were clearly taken while I was sleeping and I couldn't say no. Asmo really wanted to have a brothers' night so I went with them, but it was very late and I was really sleepy. I must have accidentally fallen asleep on their shoulders and they took advantage of that to take the photos. You're not upset, are you?”
Maybe you were, just a little. But you knew that what he was saying was most likely the truth, any other explanation didn't make sense in Belphie's case. However, you wanted to test Solomon's crystal ball, so you tell Belphie about it anyway. He says, with a smile, that he doesn't mind helping you test it.
Back at Cocytus Hall, Solomon was still out somewhere and you and Belphie are alone in your bedroom.
Through the crystal ball, you see Belphie sitting on a couch in The Fall, with Beel and Asmo. Beel was busy eating while Asmo was talking to some succubuses. One of them was sitting between him and Belphie. He began to slowly close his eyes and eventually fell asleep, letting his head fall on the succubus' shoulder. She was overjoyed by that and when the others noticed, they looked at them, and they all commented on how cute Belphie was. Even Asmo praised his little brother's cuteness.
You feel a little jealous because he actually looked really cute. The Belphie next to you hugs you around the waist and lays his head lazily on your shoulder. “Your shoulder is better.” he whispers.
“I wonder if he would wake up with a kiss? Hi hi.” You hear the succubus in the crystal ball say. She leans in to kiss Belphie on the lips when he immediately opens his eyes and straightens up, escaping the kiss.
“Sorry.” Belphie says “I fell asleep by accident.”
“No problem, cutie. You can lie on my shoulder whenever you want. And if you want to lie in another way, you can too~”
“No, thanks. I'm good. I'd better sit somewhere else so this doesn't happen again.” He stands up, but the succubus holds his hand.
“There's no need. You can stay here with me, I don't mind~”
“But I do.” He lets go of her hand and goes to sit next to Beel, where he ends up falling asleep again on his shoulder. And the crystal ball becomes opaque again.
Belphie was now almost asleep on your shoulder, hugging you like you were his teddy bear.
“Since we're already in your bed, why don't we take a nap together~? *yawn* So sleepy...”
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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steviewashere · 2 months ago
Text
I want to write something sort of meta, hear me out on it. Sorry, if this hits too close to home. The idea came to me and I needed to get it out of my system. And...would you look at that, another half-written fic.
Steve ends up getting really into Star Wars after Dustin shows him to it. Like, so much that he gets himself involved with conventions, cosplay, collecting anything and everything he can. He's involved in a fandom space. Learns the world of fan fiction. And let's say that maybe, during his time figuring out where he wants to go with life, he picks up writing fanfic as a hobby.
It encourages him to get an English degree. Encourages him to lean more into that hobby, but then expanding upon it to write original short stories and small novels that go published. But he holds strong to Star Wars and fandom and finding his spot cemented in it. He's been a fan for...nearly forty years at this point (set in 2024, ugh I know).
And maybe he dabbles in online spaces here and there. He ignores the insufferable adults in the Star Wars fandom (the "um, actually..." guys, btw). Indulges the effort of typing out his handwritten fan fiction, ones he used to bring and pass around at conventions, ones he'd let Eddie read with a shy look in his eyes. And he posts them online, has a Tumblr account, maybe does a few short things on Twitter, definitely is on AO3 (albeit newer, having never attempted online fan work before).
But then...then he gets his first little bit of hate. Vicious, gross comments on his work. Sometimes in private messages. Even publicly, once, on Twitter. It irks him. He holds strong, he does. But then it gets worse and worse and somehow, worse. Younger people claiming he's too old, others claiming that he can't write for certain characters because they're out of his age range, that he can't ship certain people, he can't say that a character would do this or that, that Star Wars is media for a younger audience (despite being somebody who saw it "back in the day"). But that he...That he's not supposed to be there.
And that last little comment sticks with him for a long time. It makes his effort and his attention and his love for writing fanworks falter. He stops. Thinks about the characters he loves, of Leia and Han or even Luke and Han or Lando and Han (listen he loves writing Han). But then he wonders if it's even worth it, to indulge this interest anymore. Yeah, maybe he's older than the source material. Sure, maybe he was introduced to it a little later than most, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love it. Yet, his attention towards Star Wars completely falls away.
He stops watching it. His DVDs going dusty and unused. Starts putting away all his action figures, because what if he posts a photo one day and somebody sees them and claims that that's not for him and—
Then, he goes completely offline from fandom. Even if he still gets the emails from users who actually enjoy his stuff, ignoring them completely. Focuses on using the internet for work. For his novels, for the little stories he actually gets paid to write. But his work just isn't the same. The passion, despite being an original story and original source material, is completely dwindled.
His hobby has been stripped from him. His interest has been knocked straight out of his hands. And he just...moves on.
Even if it hurts to go down into the basement of he and Eddie's home, eyes catching on the see-through bins of original action figures, Lego sets, comic books. Even if it makes something strangle in his chest when he opens up the browser on his phone and it immediately opens to a new ship he'd been getting into: Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker—because he finally picked up The Mandalorian, because he was finally talked into watching it when he had the free time.
And then it all bursts over when Eddie finally approaches him about it, when they're enjoying a night-in, sitting around lazily on their sofa.
"There's a convention coming into town," he comments, "supposedly, Hayden Christensen is going to be there. We should go, try and meet him."
Steve just grunts in response.
"Oh-kay...or we could just stay home and watch the movie?" Eddie suggests. "Been a while since I've seen Darth on screen, telling Luke about"—
"I don't want to," Steve cuts in quietly, "isn't really my thing anymore."
Silence then follows. For a beat. Then two. A third.
"Not your thing?" Eddie asks him incredulously. "Not too long ago you were raving all about that new show that's coming out! That you saw they were doing lightsaber whips and you were excited to see how they worked! What do you mean it's 'not your thing'?"
Steve shrugs. "Grew out of it or whatever. Got more important things to focus on now." He sniffs, trying to keep himself held together, grumpy and firm in his decision.
Eddie's stare drills into the side of his face. Scalding, just like that lava was in Revenge of The Sith. "Baby," he speaks softly, "did something happen? You haven't even...you don't read your beautiful little stories to me anymore. In fact, now that I think about it, I haven't even seen your lightsabers around here. What's goin' on?"
He fiddles with the hem of his shirt. A ratty plain white t-shirt that he wears now when he's lounging around the house. It used to be one with the Millennium Falcon on it, but that's tucked down far in his dresser. Not for him anymore.
"Steve," Eddie presses, "did something happen?"
His stare stays down at his lap, still fiddling with his shirt. Fingers flexing unfamiliarly in the strings, unlike the loose ones on his Star Wars shirts. "I just"—Steve heaves a deep sigh—"it's time I grow up. It's...not for me anymore. Too old for it now, I guess."
"You guess or you know? Because nobody's too old for anything. Unless, y'know, you're like eighty-nine and in terrible health and trying to hike Everest, then..."
Despite everything, Steve finds himself chuckling. A giddy little sound here and gone in a breath. He shrugs again, albeit smaller this time. Crumbling within himself. Quietly, honestly, he admits, "People were being mean to me about it online. About my writing. That I'm doing it wrong, that I—that I'm too old for it. That I don't belong because of my age." He finally brings himself to look at Eddie, blearily because his eyes are aching and wet. "I got to thinking and I...maybe I've just been too caught up in my own bliss to realize that those people are right. They're right and I shouldn't be into kids stuff anymore."
Eddie makes a soft, sad cooing noise in the back of his throat. "Oh, baby," he breathes. "Baby, those people don't know a single damn thing about your love. But...but I do. I know that you've seen every single Star Wars movie more times than I've probably eaten in my entire life. And what about all those Halloween costumes over the years? I didn't dress up like Leia for nothing, Mr. Solo."
Steve scoffs wetly. Goes to protest, but—
"And...and that handshake! The one with Dustin? You guys have had that for nearly forty fucking years! So, why bother indulging any of these...these hardasses on the internet? Did they sit next to you on the sofa as you fucking curled yourself like a shrimp and wrote every little intricate detail of a kiss between Luke and Han? Have they read your work while you blushed all shy, while you tucked your hair behind your ear and asked for the most earnest of feedback, to make sure you spelt things correctly or put a comma in the right place? These people, did they get to see you blossom and grow like a fucking bushel of roses over your hobby?
"Because I know I did. And even though you were nervous about your words on the paper, you still came to me. You still wrote and wrote and wrote until I had to bully you into breaks, just so you wouldn't ruin your poor wrists. If they had even an ounce of the passion that you do, they could write their own stories. They can make their own endings and make the characters the way they imagine them.
"They choose, instead, to—what—make fun of you because you have a space to express yourself? Because you found passion and turned it into something so beautiful, even I—a dungeon master, someone supposed to be amazing at storytelling—can't put into words? You found a way to do that, Steve. And you do that with kindness. You do it for free, mind you. If their only passion sits within sending you vitriol over people who aren't even remotely close to real, then they're the ones who don't belong.
"If I've learned anything, fandom is a space to share and bounce off each other's words. It's community and it's belonging and it's sharing what you love because you just love it. Fandom isn't bullying. Bullying is just bullying, Steve.
"And everything you've ever done in your life, in regards to fandom and outside of it, is so much better than hate. You may be a nerd or...or a little bit overzealous or whatever, but at least you aren't hateful. I think being hateful, that's worse—don't you think?"
Steve can only stare in response, fast tears down his cheeks, hands shaking in his shirt. Mind reeling. Because, yes, Eddie's right. And he maybe should've talked about it initially, but the hurt festered and festered and tangled and grew until he was nothing but an unhealed scab. And Eddie, he's the antiseptic to his uncovered cuts—the ones deep on his heart, where all his love is—even for things considered mundane, like movies, like TV shows.
"Steve," Eddie carefully murmurs, wrapping Steve's hands with his own, "you don't have to do something right to love it. You don't have to be a certain way to be happy. If Star Wars made you happy, then why give it up?"
He sniffles and chokes back on a sob. Because, again—damnit—Eddie's right. "I miss it," he admits quietly, "all I've done is miss it."
Eddie gives him a small smile. Something achingly soft that reaches deep within Steve. "Then open your arms and welcome it back, baby," he whispers, "even if you can't be online anymore, do it for yourself."
"I...I want to try it again, I'm just...scared. What if people hate it all over again? What if they're just nasty to me and shut me down and push me to the side and"—
"But what if they love it? What if your readers have missed you just as much?"
"You think?" he meekly asks.
Eddie's eyes widen and his eyebrows shoot up his forehead. "I know, actually. Your emails keep coming in on the computer's desktop because I keep forgetting to log you out. And, baby, you would not believe how many people have been eager for updates, for your return." His thumbs work into the backs of Steve's hands, warm and sure. "And, if it helps, maybe I can moderate your comments before you look at 'em? I'll read them to myself and if they're mean, I'll delete them."
Steve blows out a breathy little chuckle. "You'll just get mad at them," he gently teases. "But that doesn't sound too bad. Maybe I should try again. Not yet, though. I'm not ready."
"That's okay," Eddie assures, "take things slow. Maybe we start with watching the movies again? Getting your lightsabers back on display?"
"Can we go to the convention, too?"
"We can do whatever you want, Stevie."
For the first time in a long while, Steve finds himself smiling. "I love you," he whispers.
"I know."
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landosjpg · 10 months ago
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fall back together | ln
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the one where your ex-boyfriend invites you to spend a few days with him, but you two still have feelings for each other.
lando norris x fem!reader
word count: ~2.5k
warnings: pining, the tiniest bit of fluff i believe, language, smut, oral (f recieving), p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), cockwarming
note: ehhh i don't really know how to feel about this but i wanted to post something, once again not proofread! also i have a looooong flight later this week so pls send in some requests so i can entertain myself during it! <3
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you and lando had dated for a little over two years when you decided to call it quits. it wasn't messy; you two had mutually decided to stay as friends. and for the few months that you had been just that, it had worked well so far.
that's why lando had decided to invite you over for the monaco grand prix, insisting that you should spend a few days prior with him so you two could catch up and spend some time together.
as friends, of course.
it took him a few days to convince you, but you finally agreed. and that's why you found yourself walking down the corridor that led to his apartment, suitcase in hand. you could hear his giggles already from the other side of the hall, the sound bringing a smile to your face.
as you opened the door with the keys that he had insisted you should keep after breaking up, for emergencies (even when you lived in a total different country), you heard him talking.
"hey, chat!" you heard him say. you should've guessed he would use his days at home to stream like he used to. "guess who's here!"
you smiled as you walked to the room he was in. the fans had always loved you; you saw the edits they made of your relationship, how everyone used to lose their minds over the way you two looked at each other when you decided to make an appearance on one of his streams.
utterly in love.
and of course, you saw how everyone couldn't believe it when he had announced the end of your relationship.
it's not like any of you had expected it either, but you knew it was for the best or the relationship would consume one of you. but you were happy you had managed to make a friendship work, not really wanting to lose lando. and of course, his fans were excited to see you again.
he turned his chair around as you entered the room, his smile widening as soon as he saw you. you walked his way, happily waving at the camera. normally, he would grab your waist and pull you into his lap.
but this time he didn't.
so you stood there, right next to his chair. and as much as you knew that was how things were, it didn't fell completely right to you.
"i think i'm gonna head to bed," you interrupted after a few minutes in which you talked with him and with the viewers, answering a few questions just like you used to do before everything went down.
but after a long flight and a taxi ride to his house, you felt exhausted and all you wanted was to lie down and call it a day.
lando reached to mute his mic before he could answer you, turning to look at your face as he spoke.
"take my bed, i'll sleep in the spare room," he said. you were certain that the fans would try to decipher what you were saying later, but you didn't really care.
you thought about what he was proposing. it would feel weird, sleeping in his bed without him, so you weren't really convinced about it. and he must had seen it in your face, because before you could say anything, he added:
"come on, y/n". you're tired and the spare bed isn't even made," he looked at you with soft, pleading eyes.
you knew he still wanted the best for you, so you sighed in defeat and accepted his offer with a nod of your head.
after saying goodbye to the chat, you left the room to get ready for bed. as you went through your daily night routine in the bathroom, you noticed how everything you had left there behore the break-up was still in its place.
it looked like you had never left.
you tried not to think too much about it, there could be multiple reasons why he had decided to keep all your stuff. he definitely had moved on, right? it had been months since you two ended things.
you brushed it off, not really wanting it to get to your head and then walked to his room. everything was just like you remembered. damn, he even kept some pictures of you on his wall.
with your pajamas on, you climbed into his bed and covered your body with the soft sheets, the smell of him quickly washing all over you.
you rolled around with a sigh, the bed feeling way too big now that he wasn't next to you to wrap hismself around you. you were unable to sleep as your mind filled with all the nights spent in that exact same mattress between laughs, kisses and endless conversations.
you missed the feeling of his arms around your waist, the sound of his snores and the warmth of his body enveloping you every night.
with your mind racing with all the memories that wouldn't leave your brain, you realized it had been hours since you got in bed when you checked the time on your phone. the house was completely silent by that moment, so you figured lando was already asleep.
you sighed and got up, wandering to the kitchen silentely to not wake him up, with the intention of making yourself a tea that would hopefully help you sleep.
୨୧
sat on the counter, you contemplated the city lights with a warm mug of tea in your hands. the only light that illuminated the kitchen was te one that came out of your room. lando's room.
you were lost in your own thoughts, so you didn't notice his figure walking towards you.
"is that seat taken?" his voice made you jump a little in surprise, swearing under your breath as you turned to look at him, simply shaking your head in response. "sorry, didn't mean to startle you," he added with a chuckle, sitting on the stool right next to you.
you didn't really know what to say, so silence fell between you two while you just stared at each other. despite of it being dark, you could appreciate his messy curls, the spark on his eyes and the sly smile that beautifully decorated his lips.
"can't slep?" his voice was low and tender as he brokw the silence.
"bed feels too big."
at your answer, he just nodded. he kept quiet for a few seconds, pensive, and you could see that he was wondering wheter what he was about to say was appropriate or not.
"you know, as much as it hurts... i'm happy that you're moving on," he finally broke the silence, his words hitting you like a truck.
"i'm not... what do you mean?" you asked in confussion, but your mind was more focused on the fact that the possibility of you moving on hurt him.
"i've seen the pictures."
despite of the sadness that his whisper hid, you knew he wasn't mad at you. he had always said that he wanted you to be happy, whether it was with or without him.
silly of him to think that anyone else could ever make you as happy as he once did.
"just a friend," you mumbled, knowing that he was talking about the guy in your latest posts. but he was nothing more than a friend to you, not even close. "not really my type," you joked, earning a little smile from his lips.
once again, the silence felt deafening as he didn't give you an answer. your nerves were starting to kick in and so, in an attempt to try and make it feel less awkward between you two, you gazed back to the window.
"do you ever miss me?" he whispered again seconds later, the simple question making you freeze.
the answer was easy: yes, like crazy. but you couldn't just say that.
as he waited for you to reply, you felt his eyes on you, curious about what you would answer. and you swore he could hear your heart racing in your chest.
"sometimes, yeah," you finally decided to give him the truth.
or part of it, because confessing that it hadn't been a day in which he didn't cross your mind at least twice a day made you feel too exposed and vulnerable.
you halted when you felt his hand creeping up your legs slowly, stopping when he reached your thigh.
"i miss you, too," his murmur sent you a shiver down your spine, and he was looking up at you from where he was sitting, with puppy eyes.
you knew damn well what those words meant, and you felt your heart breaking at your own answer.
" i don't think it's a good idea, lan," you murmured, not able to hold his gaze for long.
"i know", he uttered, and you felt him sigh, but his hand stayed in your leg. "i'm sorry."
when you heard his simple apology, you closed yout eyes and tried to keep your tears from falling down your cheeks, but you failed miserably.
you knew he was apologizing for not being his best self during the last weeks of your relationship. at first, you had tried to convince yourself it only was a rough patch, but it was burning you down.
and, when you asked him for some time, he agreed. he knew he hadn't been the best boyfriend to you during that time, and he hated seeing you suffer because of him. so he ultimately decided to set you free.
"i'll never take you for granted again," he whispered, his hands cupping your cheeks and wiping the tears that fell down your face.
you hadn't noticed that he had stoop up from the stool and positioned himself between your legs, but having him so close again made your heart feel warm. and you looked down, knowing that if your eyes met his green orbits you'd throw yourself back right into his arms.
"lan..."
"i swear, y/n," he interrupted you; you could see his eyes were also watery, tears threatening to come out as well, but he held them back as he kept talking. "i know i fucked up, but it won't happen again."
closing your eyes, you sighed. your fingers softly wrapped around his wrist as you kept silently crying.
"please," his whisper made you sob, wanting nothing more than to go back in time and never let go of him. "i promise."
as you took in his words, your hand slid to his neck and he rested his forehead against yours. your breaths were mixing together and you nodded your head slightly, giving him your final answer with that small gesture.
before you could think about it, his lips were on yours. soft, just as you remembered, and you could taste both your tears on his lips. he kissed you slowly, tenderly, as if he didn't want you to slip out of his fingers again.
and you knew he didn't.
"i've missed this," he sighed in between kisses, pulling you a little closer, his arms now wrapped around your waist. "i've missed you, baby."
at the sweet pet name that you never thought you'd be hearing from his lips again, you exhaled with a smile.
"want to join me in bed?" you asked in a whisper, your fingers softly brushing against the skin of his neck. you wanted nothing more than to sleep next to him again, so close that one would think you two were literally attached at the hip.
"you're inviting me to my bed?" he chuckled as his arms went lower on your body, pulling you closer and picking you up from the counter.
"our bed," you corrected him with a giggle of your own.
he planted a soft kiss on your lips and walked you back to his room, wrapped in his arms. he lied you down on the mattress gently, keeping his body over yours. your gazes locked for a few seconds before his lips attacked yours hungrily, the tenderness of the previous interactions now long gone.
your hands roamed all over each other's bodies, clothes soon flying everywhere as both your breaths got heavier.
he started trailing small, wet kisses down your breasts and torso, his hands carefully pulling your underwear down your legs. he spread your open for him and positioned himself between your thighs, looking up at you from the edge of the bed.
you slightly nodded, giving him permission to go on. a long sigh left your lips as soon as you felt his lips pressing a soft kiss on your sensitive bud, and your fingers instinctively got lost in his curls, urging him closer.
"you're so gorgeous, baby," he mumbled, his hot breath against your slick making you moan softly.
you felt his tongue flatten against you and he started licking your cunt as if he was starving. a smug expression plastered on his face when your back arched as his lips found your clit again and he sucked, fingers tugging on his hair.
"fuck, lando..." you stuttered, your legs closing around his head as you felt the knot on your lower stomach about to snap. a small groan escaped his lips, his hands gripping around your thighs, surely leaving small bruises on your smooth skin.
soon, the warmth of his tongue on your pussy felt too overwhelming and your orgasm didn't take long to wash over you, leaving you a moaning mess under his touch.
as you came down from your climax, he got rid of his boxers and hovered over you again, his lips finding yours once more. as you tasted yourself on his tongue, you hummed contently into the kiss, your fingers finding their wait to his curls again.
"you alright, love?" he gently asked, taking a minute to look into your eyes.
"need you inside of me," you panted, your legs hooking at each side of his body as you pulled him closer.
he locked his lips with yours as he teased your folds with his cock, both of you moaning into the other's mouth at the friction. he positioned himself at your entrance and slowly pushed inside of you, letting you adjust to his size.
"so fucking tight for me, baby," his voice sounded breathless as he started thrusting into you without a hurry.
he took it slow, his movements almost lazy but deep.
and god, did it feel good.
you held each other tightly as he kept that slow pace that you two seemed to be enjoying. he reveled in the way your sweet moans filled the room and your nails drew crescent moons on his shoulders, your face contorting in pleasure as he stretched you out deliciously.
feeling your second orgasm starting to build up, your pussy clamped down on him, drawing him even deeper inside of you; which resulted in a low grunt from his lips.
"baby, i'm gonna... fuck..." you whimpered, unable to even form a proper sentence as the pressure in your lower stomach increased again.
"look at me, love," he groaned, and you did as he had asked.
with your gazes locked in each other's, it only took the two of you a few strokes to come undone, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt him cumming inside of you and leaving you weak under his body.
he collapsed on top of you, a little winded as he left a sweet kiss on your lips before moving to lay down on the mattres, pulling you with him.
"i love you," he uttered, his arms wrapped tightly around your body as he kept his cock buried deep inside of you.
"i love you, lan," you mumbled, your face finding the spot between his jaw and his shoulder as you caught your breath, feeling yourself slowly drifting off to sleep with your nose nuzzled on his neck.
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pinklotushere · 7 days ago
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Ok I had this rotting in my mind for days now
Bruce *going live as brucie Wayne because he saw a tweet about him saying he was acting weirdly (it was actually damian shit posting) and paranoid abt his identity he decides to up the brucie effect to 100* : and then he winked at moi! Like, can you believe itttt~
Dick *kicks the door open, bursting into the room full on sobbing* : bruuuceee
Bruce *immediately stops what he was saying and gets up to comfort him* : what's wrong chum?
Tim, steph and duke *run into the room in various levels of crying*
Bruce *actually starts to panic* : kids?
Damian and cass *walk in sniffing* : baba! (Just dami lmao)
Bruce *pale and looks about ready to cry himself* : what's wrong?who was it? Give me names,descriptions, anything-
Jason-youre-not-my-dad-i-dont-live-here-fuck-you-mothefucking-todd *walks in red-faced and barely keeping it together*: dad..
Okay, picture this we've got Bruce pale and sweaty, holding a still sobbing dick and and surrounded by steph,cass,duke and picking damian up all quietly crying and/or sniffing and we've got tim pressing his face to Bruce side, shoulders chaking and then jason of all people starts sniffing and Bruce literally goes even paler (of that's even possibe) and pulls him in
Bruce : What's wrong? Talk to me, sweetheart
Dick : it-it's they- * Starts wailling*
Bruce : they? Who's they? Did you get their names?adresss? Social security number?
Steph : n-no it's not- *hiccups and buries her face on him, you can hear her crying*
Jason :..I don't think I'll ever be the same
Bruce : from what? What is it?
Barbara * Wheeling in, popcorn in hand, eyes red and sniffing:
Bruce : Barbara?
Babs: hey b
*Que lots of sniffing*
Bruce : what's going on?
Babs:Oh, we watched a movie
Bruce: excuse me?
Babs: Yeah, grave of the fireflies, man that was heartbreaking
*higher crying*
Bruce:
The next day
Headlines go like this :
*brucie Wayne secretly just a loving father*
*brucie Wayne threatens whoever hurts his children*
*Wayne children being dependent on their dad no matter how old they get*
Social media similarly is bursting with :
"I love how he was ready to commit murder for them lmaooo"
"Is it just me or did brucie just get 10 times hotter*
"Man, dick grayson crying is something I didn't know I needed, that man is such a pretty crier"
"Damn, I love how tim drake and Stephanie brown just buried themselves in their dad"
"My God I always thought damian wayne was bratty but he's actually really cute?"
*God brucie holding damian, dick and still hugging all his other children is so hot"
"Hold on, isn't jason todd dead?"
(And no, this isn't me projecting. grave of the fireflies did not emotionally destroy me. What?)
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certaimromance · 3 months ago
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𝜗𝜚 You Says.
Post prison Reid x Reporter!reader
Read part one here!
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Summary: After a rough night and some misunderstandings, Spencer needs to do everything he can to make things right with you and get his relationship back on track. The problem is, things aren't so easy for you, and he's willing to do anything you ask, even take care of you when no one else will.
Words: 3,1k.
TW: mentions of crime and trauma. angst+comfort. the reader gets sick (nothing serious, just a normal cold). english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).
Note: Ok, I didn't think of doing a second part before, but reading my own work made me so sad😭 the cat deserves happy parents (we are the cat) but I warn you that I do not believe in magic apologies.
As an interesting side note, both parts of this story are named after children's games. In this case, it's for "Simon Says," which I thought was pretty cool because in this part, Spencer literally does whatever the reader wants.
I also want to thank you for the support you gave to the first part and for the 300 followers💝 I could not say it before but it makes me very happy.
♡ Enjoy! ♡
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Spencer had been losing his mind since the last time he saw you in person, and it was all his fault. From the moment the door to his apartment closed behind you and the oven beeped, he began to feel the broken pieces of his heart that you had once held together unravel and shatter even more. He hated himself for letting his insecurities get in the way of the one good thing he had managed to have over the past few years, and for pushing you away when you didn't want to. You had been his exception among all the bad things that had happened in his life for as long as he could remember, the only one that didn't seem to want to be temporary and left him when he least expected it. And he himself had forced you out of his life, even when you didn't want to, begging him with tear-filled eyes for a little remorse that he didn't give you.
Just a few hours after the incident, he tried to go to work as if nothing had happened to clean up the mess the leak had made and put the killer in jail. He brought Penelope the promised cookies and your computer for her to examine because it felt right at the time. Part of him needed her to find real proof of your betrayal so he could stop feeling bad about making you cry and saying such ugly things to you.
Then he found out that you were telling the truth and that your computer contained nothing but photos of the two of you, all the articles he had ever written or been mentioned in your searches, and a few writings in which you poured out all your love for him in the cheesiest and most poetic way possible. You loved him, you really did, and there was no evidence to the contrary, because even Garcia could later assure him that the information had come anonymously and had been bought for five hundred dollars. But it was too late, because he had given you a conviction without even knowing it.
That's when he started to fixate on making amends for what he'd done. Every time you left work, bouquets of your favorite flowers with notes asking for forgiveness and wishing you a good night began to appear in your car. He also made a point of stopping by to talk to you and repeat how sorry he was. You knew this would happen when he realized his mistake. You had told him before you left, and that's why you refused to see him. It was good that the security guards at your workplace didn't let him in, even with his FBI credentials. The tricky part was your building because the doorman already knew him and let him in normally thanks to the excuses Spencer made up, even though you said a thousand times that he shouldn't have.
And that was happening again, for the fifth or sixth time in the last few days.
“Please, just let me talk to you and tell you how sorry I am. Listen to me for a moment.” You could hear Reid's voice from the other side of the door.
You didn't say anything. You just sat with your back against the door and one hand on your heart, as if you were trying to hold it. It didn't even cross your mind that he was in the same situation.
“Just a few minutes, please."
Once more, you remained silent.
Silence was the worst answer someone could give. You knew it, and it hurt to have to do it with him. But you had no choice because you knew that by looking into his eyes for just a few seconds, all the bad things would dissipate and maybe you would even forgive him without thinking just because of the love you had for him. You didn't like being this vulnerable and having so many feelings for someone who didn't trust you.
Lately, you've been spending every waking moment wondering what you could have done to make him believe that you were really capable of betraying him in such a cruel and selfish way. You were the one who woke up in the middle of the night to try to comfort him every time he had a nightmare or couldn't sleep. You drove to his apartment no matter what time it was to make sure he was okay. You lost your breath repeating that he was safe with you. You drank many cups of coffee the next day so you wouldn't fall asleep on the job every time the situation repeated itself. That's why you started sleeping in his apartment, wrapped in his arms because he said it made him happy to wake up and see you. And even with all that, Spencer was able to believe that you didn't love him.
You were running your hands through your hair and sighing, trying to block out all the thoughts running through your head, when you heard his phone ring. You could tell it was important by the way he spoke and changed his tone of voice, so you got up from the floor at the same time he did to put your ear to the door.
“I really have to go now, but could you open up a little bit so I can take a quick look at you?” He asked in a pleading tone after hanging up the call. “Please, I know you can hear me. I can see the shadow of your feet under the door.”
You really thought he didn't know you were there, feeling like a fool for listening to every word he said.
“If you want to see me, turn on the TV.” Your voice finally reached Spencer, and it gave him a glimmer of hope. It was the first time you had spoken to him since that night, and even though there was a door between the two of you, you were talking to him.
“It's not enough.”
“And it's not my problem.”
That was more hurtful than your silence.
“I know, it's mine.” He replied after a couple of seconds, trying to process everything. “And I will do everything I can to fix it...I have to go now, but take care of yourself. The nights have been getting colder lately, so wrap up warm.”
You knew it was a bit silly to think of that now, but his attention to detail was impressive. Since you did the evening news, you used to get off work very late, and the change from air conditioning to the city cold was quite a lot. Spencer had cited scientific studies to you many times to make you aware and know what kind of clothing materials to use to avoid a cold. You missed that a lot.
If he had the same attitude as the night of the conflict, it would be easier. You could hate him and stop loving him so strongly.
“I love you, William misses you and so do I.”
You frowned because you didn't know anyone by that name.
“William?”
“Our cat.” He answered simply. “When we talked about how we would name him, you said that a lot of people name their pets after their favorite characters. You love the movie ‘Notting Hill’ and whenever we watch it, you always say you like Hugh Grant's character named William. It also means strong-willed warrior. I just thought you would like it.”
You didn't say anything at the time because you had to cover your hand with your mouth to keep from doing so, but you liked it and you liked it too much. Once again, he focused on the details.
“You can change it if you want because I don't know if he likes it, but what I do know is that he misses you. He lies on your blanket and starts meowing, and he also looks at the door. I certainly think that every time I come home he expects it to be you.” He kept talking as he received no response from you. “It sounds like I'm talking about myself. And it's true because it happens to me the same way.”
When he paused, a tear escaped and fell down your cheek. It wasn't fair for him to say those things now.
“If you want to see him and me not being there, you can send me a message...but I'd really like to be.” He paused again, as if searching for the perfect words.
What did it cost him to have searched for the perfect words the night he distrusted you?
“I must go, I love you.”
The last thing you heard before he left was Spencer's footsteps heading towards the elevator.
Just two weeks later, you realized that maybe you should have listened to Spencer when he said the nights were getting too cold. If you had, now you probably wouldn't be lying on your bed with an unbearable flu and no one there to bring you soup or a cold washcloth for your forehead because your mother was taking too long to get to city.
When you were younger, you thought it was a great idea to get as far away from your hometown as possible. Now, however, you realize that you need a familiar face to take care of you because you can't do it alone all the time.
You felt a sense of relief when you heard the door to your apartment open.
“Mom? I'm really hungry and the soup is all gone.” You spoke in a tired tone as you heard footsteps approaching. But at that moment, you watched as the cat you shared with Reid jumped onto the bed and started purring at you.
You thought you were hallucinating from the fever until you saw Spencer walking into your room with a couple of bags.
“I know you were expecting your mother, but we brought you soup and medicine.” He said, sitting up in bed to look closely at you and put a hand on your forehead. “You're burning up.”
“What are you doing here?” You asked, trying to pull away from his touch.
“Your mother called me because she couldn't find a flight today and was very worried. She asked me to take care of you.”
Of course she did, because she adored him and didn't know that things were bad between you two.
“I don't need you to take care of me.” You barely settled into bed and petted the cat. “Go to work, make sure no one leaks information.”
Oh, that was a low blow for him.
“I asked for a few days off because you have a high fever and someone needs to take care of you.”
“You don't have to...”
“I want to.” He said, interrupting you and putting a cold cloth on your forehead.
“Just because you're looking out for me doesn't mean I'm going to forget everything and forgive you.” You clarified right away, trying not to lose focus because of the relief you felt thanks to the cold compress.
“I know, and I don't expect you to. Just let me take care of you now, forget you hate me until you get better. I won't take advantage of this, I swear.” He looked at you with a serious gaze, as if he were swearing an oath. “Please.”
God, not puppy dog eyes now.
You used to love it when he looked at you with those sparkling eyes. Now, though, you felt manipulated by it.
“Fine, give me the soup.” You finally agreed, knowing you didn't have much of a choice. “Just a warning, please don't answer any calls near me. I can listen in and use the information to hire a nurse.”
He ignored the comment and didn't bring it up to make you uncomfortable. He sat on the edge of the bed, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. His touch was light, and his eyes searched yours as he spoke.
“Is there anything else besides soup I can bring you? More tissues, or maybe some medicine?” He asked in a soft, soothing voice.
You shook your head, still a bit dazed by the situation and your stomach rumbling. You watched as Spencer disappeared into the kitchen, and you could hear his footsteps echoing throughout the house, followed by the clatter of pots and pans and the sound of the stove being turned on. You could only lie back on your bed, feeling a wave of tiredness wash over you.
A few minutes later, he came back with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and sat down next to you on the bed, being careful not to spill anything.
“Are you planning to feed me soup?” You asked, with a hint of irony in your voice, as you watched me hold the spoon and watch you.
“If you wish, I'll be happy to.” He replied simply and brought the spoon gently to your mouth.
“I'm not a baby.”
Especially not his baby.
“You hate me, I know. But I really want to take care of you, and I won't leave until at least your mother arrives.” He paused for a second, as if to catch his breath. “If you don't want me around, that's okay, I'll just sit in the corner of the room or in the living room in silence. It hurts, but I'll take whatever you want.”
You remained silent for several seconds, dedicating yourself to stroking the cat to avoid Spencer's gaze.
“I don't hate you.” Was the only thing you could say at the time.
Something inside you was expecting a more exaggerated reaction for letting your guard down a bit, or maybe you were just too feverish. The thing was, he had only given you a small, almost non-existent smile.
“I know.” He finally spoke and gently adjusted the cold compress on your forehead. “And that's why I hate myself.”
At that moment, while you were trying to make sense of how things had changed so much in just a week, he was watching you.
Spencer was waiting for you to explode, to tell him how sorry you were for getting involved with him and his complicated world, that it was all one big mistake that you would regret forever. He was expecting disaster, pain, tears, and a lot of chaos.
But you didn't give him any of that.
Just a sweet nothing.
He could tell at that moment that even though you were in a feverish state and had many reasons to be cruel, you would not be. He realized that you would never yell at him or do anything to hurt him, that the most painful thing you could give him was your silence. And it was then that he confirmed that you loved him the way he thought he did not deserve to be loved: honestly and genuinely.
“Why?” You whispered after a few minutes of silence. “Why are you with me if you don't trust me?”
“I trust you.” He looked you straight in the eye as he spoke, trying to show that he was being completely sincere. “I just don't trust myself.”
You frowned and let out a groan from the discomfort in your forehead. You weren't sure if you were hallucinating because of the cold or if Spencer was really shivering.
“I don't think I'm good enough for you, or deserve you, or that you love me because you want to.” He finally admitted, his voice slightly shaky. He seemed to be in a worse state than you. “It's silly because you've never given me a reason to distrust you.”
“I know you thought I was going to leave. But I didn't want to leave until you asked me to.” You were close to crying, so you pretended to sneeze to hide your watery eyes. You didn't want to show how vulnerable you were. “It was easier to distrust me and blame me like I was just another bad person you catch.”
“Yes, but...” He replied, trying to answer your question.
“Don't talk. It's my turn.”
He nodded after a few seconds, watching you with concern. “Just be careful, you're still sick.”
You already knew how sick you were and how deplorable you probably looked, but you wanted to say it all and stop feeling a lump in your throat.
“You say you trust me, but you really don't, and I've been trying to understand you for almost a year, Spencer. It's been eleven months of trying not to invade your space, avoiding topics that make you tense or your eyes glaze over.” You had to stop to catch your breath and drink some water with his help. “And you think I don't understand you or really know you, but I do. I know how all your dishes are arranged, I know how you like to fold clothes and eat toast, I know that chess reminds you of someone because your eyes get watery every time we see a board, I know about the book signed by Maeve that you hide in your closet and about which you tense up every time I'm near, I know about your nightmares about prison that you don't like to talk about, and about your mother's favorite colors that change every day. I know so much about you, and yet you think I know nothing.”
Once more, there was a long, quiet pause.
“I'm so sorry.” He held your hands as he repeated the same thing, this time with a truly sincere tone. The whole room was still tense as his knees touched the floor, and the apology he gave you seemed like a plea. “I'm really sorry. I know you don't want apologies, you want trust, and I'm going to show you that.”
You didn't say anything as he sat down next to you on the bed.
“I trust you, that's why I always tell you about my cases. And I will tell you about all my past, if you want, because for me you are my present and my future...of course, only if you still want to.”
The eyes of both of you were fixed on the cat you shared, who was purring and lying very comfortably in the middle of the bed. It was nice to know that at least one of the three of you was happy.
“Tell me.”
And just as you asked, he told you everything because he wanted to show you that he trusted you.
This time he really trusted.
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livwritesstuff · 5 months ago
Text
for @steddie-week day 6 | drunken confessions
tags: alcohol, drunk steve, sober eddie, post-canon, vague references to period-typical homophobia
By all calculations, Steve shouldn’t be this drunk.
Eddie knows Steve only had three beers – one during Corroded Coffin’s set, and he was halfway through a second when Eddie finally caught up with him after the show, and he started on his third while they were hanging out at the bar.
(Exactly why Eddie knows this is entirely irrelevant, and it has nothing to do with how he'd had one eye on Steve throughout the entire performance trying to gauge how much he might be into it. Definitely not).
Eddie had seen Steve “Keg King” Harrington in the flesh enough times to feel pretty confident that he holds his alcohol better than this but…fuck, if Steve isn’t absolutely sloshed, eyes glassy, cheeks flushed red, and he doesn't seem to have any idea how precariously he's swaying in his bar-stool.
It's fine. Steve's a pretty quiet drunk on the whole, and Eddie gets sorta wired after shows – extra adrenaline or something – so Steve is mostly just listening to him ramble about whatever happens to cross his brain, which isn't a bad way to spend an evening, all things considered.
Midway through an entirely one-sided debate over the merits of starting guitar lessons on electric versus acoustic, Steve reaches over and pushes a curl of hair falling into his eye-line off his forehead with just the tips of his fingers.
Eddie trails off, losing track of his sentence entirely as his eyes dart back and forth between Steve’s face and the hand still hovering by his forehead. He blinks a few times, his parted lips just as forgotten as the end of his sentence.
Eddie knows there’s a kind of question in his eyes when they finally hold firm on Steve’s.
Eventually, after a few beats of silence, Steve supplies, “I like your hair.”
“Uh-huh.” Eddie lifts his chin, still looking at Steve like he doesn’t know what to make of him.
“I like you,” Steve continues, and Eddie feels himself freeze for a moment, a nervous kind of shock running down his spine because, fuck, he's big enough to admit he's fantasized about hearing those words come out of Steve's mouth more than once (way more than once), but his voice was also abnormally loud, and while it’s definitely an interesting little tidbit on Steve’s part, he really doesn’t need the rest of the goddamn Hideout knowing it too. 
“I mean,” Steve continued, “Seriously, I’m, like, super into–”
“Alright,” Eddie cuts him off as he grabs the back of Steve’s jacket, yanking him off the stool and dragging him down the hall, past the bathrooms, and out the back door into the gloomy alleyway. 
“Jesus Christ, Steve!" Eddie exclaims once the door firmly closes behind them, "You can’t just – fuck, man, you’re gonna get us killed!”
“No,” Steve argues, and Eddie’s eyebrows fly up.
“Oh, okay, never mind I guess,” he shot back, “Sure, let’s go back in there, maybe make out on the bar for a while. What could possibly go wrong?”
"Okay," Steve replies simply, reaching forward to clumsily hook fingers around Eddie's belt loops, "You wanna?"
“Uh, no,” Eddie replied, and he regretted it immediately when he saw the look on Steve’s face. He shook his head, desperately trying to course-correct, “I dunno what kind of boys you’ve been kissing, but I certainly don’t take advantage of guys when they’re too drunk to remember anything the next morning.”
"Not kissing any other boys," Steve slurs, "Just waiting for you." He blinks at him for a moment, then says, "Do you...I sorta thought you might..."
Eddie swallowed nervously, because despite his earlier comment, he doesn't actually think Steve is so drunk that he won't remember any of this tomorrow, which means he's gonna remember this: "Yeah, I like you, Steve. Jesus Christ, I like you loads."
And Steve's mouth split into the biggest, dopiest grin Eddie's ever seen, and, fuck, yeah, he wants to kiss him. He really wants to kiss him.
"Tomorrow morning too?" Steve asks hopefully.
Eddie can't help a little laugh as he nods, "Definitely tomorrow morning too. Probably time to head out, though, for now."
"Okay," Steve nods, and so Eddie untangles Steve's hand from his belt loop, clasping it firmly in his own when he's done (because he can do that, he thinks). As they head for Eddie's van, Steve adds, "Y'know, I bet if you rolled all the windows down I'd sober up on the way back."
"Sure you will, sweetheart."
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