#this isn't necessarily meant to be critical of azu+hamid+cel

[bluejayblueskies]

i'm relistening to s4 of rqg for the sixth? seventh? time, and something that's striking me particularly hard on this relisten is the lack of understanding azu, hamid, and cel have of the particular way in which zolf handles his emotions and grieves.

on a basic level, hamid, azu, and cel are people who prefer to talk through their emotions and who combat tragedy and grief with love and companionship and positivity. cel in particular is presented as a character who, by virtue of having lived for many years and experienced many tragedies, has a good handle on their own emotions. zolf, by contrast, is extremely private with his emotions. he responds to grief and tragedy by pushing through it, becoming very businesslike and prioritizing the mission and whatever project he's currently focusing on.

neither of these approaches is correct or incorrect, and i don't think the story is trying to tell us (at least, on purpose) that one approach is better than the other. however, it strikes me (and, admittedly, frustrates me) that characters who are presented as being very empathetic and understanding of other people's feelings (azu) or characters who are presented as being worldly, learned, and extremely courteous of other people's cultures or worldviews (cel) nevertheless don't appear to make an effort to meet zolf where he's at, or even understand that he is reacting to 18 months of living in a pandemic hellscape and losing a dear friend (sasha) by hardening himself and pushing on.

i think this is partially a consequence of having three "talk it out" characters vs. one "just keep moving forward" character on a team. i think it's also an interesting commentary on how azu, hamid, and cel's empathy and kindness can be shortsighted and imperfect when it comes to somebody who processes emotion in a way they don't understand. (if perhaps an unintentional commentary; it often feels like zolf is meant to be "in the wrong" in the narrative, given he's the one always made to apologize for being "grumpy" rather than the other party members acknowledging that they just don't seem to connect with his particular brand of processing grief and trauma. nevertheless, it's an interesting character flaw that i think azu, hamid, and cel share--a sort of blind spot in their perceptions of their own compassion and understanding of other people, where they simply. don't understand zolf and his grief in the slightest and in fact don't even recognize that there's something they're not understanding.)

(relatedly, this is why i think wilde's presence is absolutely crucial to zolf's wellbeing throughout s4 and the endgame arc. wilde is the only person who is really willing to meet zolf where he's at, and perhaps in fact the only person who genuinely understands why zolf is the way he is and will let him just be the way that he is without pushing for more or punishing him for it. the connections zolf lacks with the other party members, he has with wilde, and i think when dealing with a world that is falling apart around him, he desperately needs somebody in his corner.)