#this isn't my official application but it's telling my uni what i intend to do and somewhat committing to a path
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la-galaxie-langblr · 19 days ago
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Year abroad declaration of intent due in 12 days and I'm kind of freaking out about it 😭
#this isn't my official application but it's telling my uni what i intend to do and somewhat committing to a path#the reason i'm stressing is that teaching assistant is my first choice of option but if i get rejected from that (not unlikely if they can't#find a school able/willing to accommodate my stammar) then i won't have an easy time getting into study abroad as a backup#but if i list study abroad as first option then i can't apply for teaching assistant#so if i get rejected from teaching assistant then it's very likely i'll end up in a uni i wouldn't have chosen in the first place#it's only a year of my life. worst case scenario i'll stick it out and be done with it#besides the real point is to improve my french so as long as that happened then it's grand#but idk there's so much hype about the year abroad and former students saying it was the best thing ever that i'm very scared i'm gonna be#disappointed when i struggle#one again having thoughts of Maybe I'm Too Disabled For This. which is obvs stupid because many people in france have stutters too#idk man i'm so so grateful my french tutors are all going above and beyond to support me in class and for my year abroad application#but it feels very isolating being the only one in my cohort going through this and even though my friends are understanding it's.....yeah#i'm tired of putting on a brave face about it. i'm so scared and i feel so incompetent. i don't wanna be an inspiration#well for other people w speech problems wanting to do languages yeah. but not for able bodied people (aka my family 'you're overcoming so#many challenges')#i know they mean well but i'm tired. i'm so tired. i wish i was able bodied i wish [redacted] didn't happen so i wouldn't talk like this.#ellis exclaims
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