#this isn't even half of the detail I could go into either jfc

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

((Because I’m tired of him being offed solely as a coward today I’m gonna rant about Mell.))

((Mell, while indecisive, soft spoken and quick to fold on situations is still a very brave boy and his primary problem is that he overthinks literally everything. He’s plagued by indecision, guilt, worry, anxiety, etc until he all but begs someone to assist him. This doesn’t make him a coward. He’s not trying to be the strong ‘I can do this on my own type’ he just doesn’t know how to properly ask for help and, quite honestly, it’s not like he has anyone offering to help him---initially anyhow.

He desperately wants to be loved and seen as important. he wants to make a mark on someone’s life and yes, his sister is the person that fills that need---he also does the same for her. In their first lives they literally (again, initially) only had one another to depend on, they have absolutely no one else. So yes, Mell might cower and balk if you threaten his sister but that’s only because you’re threatening the most important person in the world to him.

His being needing of love doesn’t invalidate his kindness, nor does it make his empathy any less real---even if some of it comes across as selfish or self serving. Because deep down he is a very kind, thoughtful boy, he just has trouble communicating. He averts his gaze when things get too difficult and has no one to help him redirect his focus. He was forced to live to two standards--his home’s and his sister’s---rather than just be himself. He was led to believe that just being ‘Mell’ wasn’t enough so he tackles things in the wrong mindset, does things for the wrong reasons, and ends up blaming himself and thinking he’s useless when things don’t go right or when he can’t meet said expectations.

His indecisiveness and whining does lead to some bad shit happening and he pays the price for it---but the fact that he does attempt to make amends shouldn’t be ignored. He does learn from things and his guilt is genuine.

His bravery is spontaneous, instinctual. If you let him think about it he’ll more than likely make a blunder because he’s overthinking everything and getting nervous. He stands up to two separate men---dangerous, ruthless men who could kill both him and his sister immediately---on more than one occasion.

When Yukim/asa pulls a blade on his near comatose sister to enlist his aid he relents, yes, but who wouldn’t? That’s his family. Every other word out of his mouth up until that point was him saying no, telling him he wasn’t going to help. Likewise when Miche/l is being tortured it’s Mell that takes action, it’s Mell that fetches the nun and picks the lock on the door. It’s Mell that dives down there practically underneath a man who could slice him into a million pieces in under a second.

There’s also this;

That’s the other man that could kill him---who threatened and coerced and manipulated him for months and (while they were only having a pleasant chat and this is seconds before the real disaster) Mell wastes no time charging over there and getting right in front of Nellie to protect her.

tldr: Mell is a good brave boy that’s a victim of circumstances that he shouldn’t of been made to handle alone in the first place and while he handled things poorly (and that’s putting it lightly) he’s still a good fucking boy. He’s strong and kind in multiple ways and if you one note him as a coward in my presence I’ll fucking kill you.