#this isn't a targeted post btw i was just thinking about it recently and saw something that reminded me

[menelaus-blue]

i feel like i am absolutely blindsided every few months when i emerge from my lan xichen loving bubble and go online and find out that he is not a universally adored character that people understand is burdened by conflicting responsibilities to those he cares about as well as his job. i genuinely didn't know people perceived him as anything other than a perfect prince until i went onto twitter.

sincerely, an eldest daughter

[whimsymiri]

I don't talk enough on this app I think I will be posting more bangers from now own

I digress

I have been thinking a lot about how people take things like sex and relationships for granted, and it makes me feel this unbridled rage bubble within me. A moment I saw on some random podcast or radio show with John Cena on it was probably the epitome of what I don't like about the attitude towards sex.

They asked him if he banged fat girls?? and first of all, what a weird question to ask because how is that relevant to his career??? (I don't know the full context don't come after me), and the way he replied just digested me. He says this with a big smile on his face, btw, "Yeah, no, recently I hit the 280 mark 😄"

Is she just some number to him? Because what... she isn't a dumbell. Plus, the two people talking to him were in awe and almost proud of him, too. Maybe this is too woke of me -I don't know - but it just seems to me like they are thinking of sex and women who are plus size as something that is meaningless.

It's supposed to be a time when you appreciate and love the person you are with. You connect in a way that can't be achieved through words and boiling it down to a "hook up" or just something that you get up to is where we fall down as a society. It creates terms like "bop" and "hoe," which causes shame and embarrassment. That leads to people becoming prude or in the complete opposite direction as a degenerate since it is something that is oh so frowned upon.

The two sides of shaming sex comes in off-hand jokes and comments that are straight up pointed. So either "Oh haha, she a bop" to "How distasteful, does she have no self-respect?" AND IT'S ALWAYS TARGETED AT WOMEN.

The talk about sexism comes another day, but I just wanted to share my thoughts

Have a nice day

[mai-komagata]

yes, normally it is anon-hate. a notable one/the most egregious one i saw recently is what valar-did-me-wrong got. https://www.tumblr.com/valar-did-me-wrong/773856975579643904/guess-who-got-multiple-hate-anons-the-moment-i

given she is a multishipper that welcomes individually everyone who joins the fandom and doesn't post fandom drama, she isn't exactly the normal target of hate, which is why her story is especially compelling and I have no reason to disbelieve it. I guess you can choose to believe her or not. I was surprised with how few people shared her story, but I assume people just didn't see it?

but a lot of people have their stories of posting about the ship and getting anon asks or comments. The first post i made in the fandom I was told I was "mansplaining", "controlling how people ship" and "not obeying fandom etiquette", *despite me saying I liked the ship but with a darker vibe*. it just put me off about posting about it (it was my first and last post i tagged haladriel). And I've seen people comment over and over again on this issue. HikariElizabethBloom has a lot of anons on this, feel free to read them. I think people need to remember there are actual doxxers, haters, stalkers with political motivations that go from fandom to fandom doing the stuff you mentioned, like harassing the social media person -- but it isn't the run of the mill fans on tumblr. Those are right wing people who want to get the whole show cancelled. We don't need to fight amongst each other when those people are the real enemy.

(btw interpreting a fictional ship as "abusive" or interpreting it as "they are so in love" or anything else is not a personal insult one way or another. That is a just an opinion on things that happened on screen. People are free to disagree on that without calling each other names. I'm personally often in the "i ship it *because* they are abusive" so i don't see it as an insult...)

"Not ship shaming at all, I truly believe in "ship and let ship". Everyone should be free to enjoy their own interpretations and preferences without being harassed for it. But as someone who ships Haladriel, I have to say that I really wish more of us would acknowledge and call out the toxicity that some members of our ship’s community have been directing toward others?..... I’ve seen fans of different pairings, especially non-Saurondriel ships, being attacked just for existing, for enjoying their own ships, or even for simply having different interpretations of the show. And some of these attacks have been downright violent and disgusting. What’s depressing is how often this goes unaddressed. It feels like too many people in our community are either looking the other way or outright pretending it’s not happening. I can understand that speaking up can be intimidating, especially when the loudest voices are often the most aggressive ones. But the truth is, this kind of behavior isn’t just hurting other fans, it’s also giving Haladriel/Saurondriel as a ship a bad reputation. It makes it seem like we're all okay with this level of harassment, that we're okay with violence, when in reality many of us aren’t. Silence can sometimes feel like complicity, and I don’t want to be part of a fandom culture that allows bullying and toxicity to flourish unchecked. Again, this isn’t about telling people what they can or can’t ship. It's basic decency and respect for fellow fans. No ship, no fandom space, should be a place where people feel unsafe or targeted just for engaging with the story in their own way. And I hope more Haladriel shippers, myself included, can start holding each other accountable so that we don’t let a vocal toxic minority define how the rest of the fandom sees us."