#this is what happens when you're mostly isolated from existing friends and too anxious to talk to new people

[omegapheromone]

Sometimes I think abt one of my fictional pixel guy crushes and have so many emotions. I see Calcharo from WuWa and I think about how I wanna just. I wanna gently comb and maybe braid his hair bc that shit has to be SO TANGLED from literally running around w thigh length hair down. Bro lives in the wild his favourite food is nutrition bars. I will need so much conditioning spray but damn it I would do it. Something abt him awakens my omega instincts to show affection through acts of care for his wellbeing and health. I will feed him vitamin supplements and make him drink water and then I will clean and bandage any wounds and then also detangle and care for his hair.

[yukkimons]

Since they blocked me and probably didn't read my response on their discourse post.

Oh well, what's even the point of defending myself anymore

I keep defending and venting my friends about you guys to the point I legit cried in a voice chat, you guys keep labeling me as the bad guy.

You know what? I'm sick of this. I can't do this anymore.

Yall just keep pulling that "discord friends aren't therapy" "call the professional" or "take therapy" cards knowing the fact that

1. I cant afford professional help whatsoever

2. Tried therapy but nothing worked

3. My friends are my alternative way to calm myself down.

But no, you guys don't understand. Yall just covering the shit up with "oh it's so triggering"

What about the time in the poppy server where I said I'm having a panic attack, no one even responded or you guys slowly leaving me alone in the voice chat?

Your response: I triggered and scare people, made them uncomfortable

I needed help alright? I need just someone to be there for me, because I was extremely isolated to the fact I'm desperate to talk to someone, but none of my friends is even online so I go to the closest active server I'm in.

Also I have a screenshot of one of the mods from that Morella server, when I left due to overwhelming anxiety issues

Forgot to label the other mod, doesn't matter, had to censor the profile picture for the other mod because it contains their IRL face.

> I get it if you're being too anxious or having a panic attack but that doesn't give you to leave the server, specially when there's a bunch reaching out to

Uh, you said anxiety, have how even know how having a anxiety feels like? I feel like a huge BURDEN when I wanna vent and yes I know there are people who's reaching out for me, but sometimes I don't feel like they really mean it which is hard for me.

> I understand you don't wanna share your problems here. That's why DM'S exist

I doubt you understand. ANXIETY.

Anxiety will make you feel like you're gonna annoy someone when you're messaging them. That why it's soooo fucking HARD to vent. Mostly will feel like you're a burden to everyone you talked to, so you just gonna shut youself up and bottling shit up your head.

Then when I pointed shit up about how I never gonna fit in and i don't feel belonged in the family, left the server the final time

> try to include them

Y'all barely include me. Y'all only include me if I said something interesting like Beastars or Endless summer. That's all.

> Everyone complimented my artworks and try to be least be there

Yes. But sometimes it doesn't feel like it at all, yall just saying you're there for me so I had confidence to talk again in general, but nothing happened.

The artworks, yes sometimes. Artworks get compliments as always. Can't argue with that.

> Would you be okay with someone who likes to not censor things which would be sensitive to others

As I said in my response which I doubt that you guys even read it, I was in a dark place, my brain didn't process when I vented all about it ever since I saw that image, it didn't process that I forgot to censor it, which it made me remember a friend of mine who DIED from the same context of the image I've saw. And please understand what I've been through.

But what kind of server than bans members from a vent channel because of it? Seriously.

Hell I didn't even know someone is in a breakdown and it got worsen when they see that message. Im not a fucking god to know shit. Say that to yourself too. You don't know what I've been through behind the screen. Same as I, I'm not a god who knows what any of you feels or happens. Im human. My brain can't process shit when I was trumatized from what I'm seeing hats why I forgot to censor it.

Ok I'm done with this. Stop responding or making a another discourse about this post. Im tired. I don't wanna waste another time to deal with y'all. You guys win now I fuckin guess. Hope you guys are happy now. I'm gonna leave you all alone. Peace.