#this is usually a fluffy friendly au. a dramedy mayhaps. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sparky-is-spiders · 24 days ago

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Hopelessly charmed by the idea of like. Jon just has Shit Taste in men. Like his taste in women? Questionable. His primary type seems to be "could kill him dead" and sometimes that goes well (Georgie) and sometimes it doesn't (Gertrude) but with men? Terrible. Godawful. You give him a set of men's dating profiles and he will always pick the worst available option without fail. Has a 70-30 split on older authority figures vs guys who want to "fix" him (who invariably get mad when he fails to be fixed). Every goddamned time. Best case scenario the relationship blows up in like three months in a way that catches everyone else in the blast radius (Martin) worst case scenario they're obsessively codependent and having some hot-and-cold affair that blows up two and a half years later and everyone around them gets stuck wading through the fallout (Elias). To be clear (since I'm approaching from goofy comedy angle) these aren't abusive relationships they're just. Bad. The kind of thing you see on r/relationships where it's so obvious they're going to break up tomorrow over the reddit comments they'll split over an entirely unrelated argument next week (not that I can imagine Jon posting on reddit tbh).

Also yes yes most of this IS because I love judgemental outsider PoVs. What of it?

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#just when you thought you were safe from Jongertrude. WRONG.#(yes I am still the only person who has anything in that tag. in case you were wondering)#also to my fellow elias enjoyers. he's fun and i'm fond of him #when i say jon wanting to date him is bad taste i am saying it with nothing but affection #however i think at least from where jon is. with the vague context of this particular au? maybe bad taste on jon's part #also it's funny.#ok but listen. nothing makes me happier than an au where everyone is Reacting to the relationship #and they're doing it negatively.#not necessarily because it's Forbidden but because it's Questionable #anyway this does lend itself to bi/panromantic jon i think #but consider:#jon who is constantly in love with the IDEA of a relationship #he likes the general concept of some vague future jon holding hands or getting married or whatnot #and he's constantly looking for that #and because of a variety of other hangups he's always finding it in women who could (and maybe would sometimes) kill him #and either older men (whose approval he craves) or men his age who want to fix him #when asked why he's dating his 50yo boss (who is married)#'well if you look at this diagram i think i have adequately proven that i have feelings for him.#and over here you can observe my pro/con list in which i determine that he would be a suitable partner #below that is this venn diagram of all our interests. i also have graphs do you want to see them'#at least one person in his friend group (probably sasha lmao) has cottened on to the whole aro thing #but when asked about it jon explains how he couldn't possibly be aro #he's had so many crushes! look at these tables proving he has romantic feelings for his current partner!#hmmmmm i got off topic i think #anyway.#this is usually a fluffy friendly au. a dramedy mayhaps.#usually endgame jongerry too #anyway shiptags time:#jongeorgie #jongertrude

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