#this is uhh not part of the other hanlando im writing about how they've been fake married on like 7 planets

[keensers]

Han × Lando. 11. Told you I would find one.

11. things you said when you weredrunk

“How are you drinking – that? How are you drinking that?”Han demands, waving his own very-blue drink in front of Lando’s face.

“I need it to cope with seeing your face again, you’re atleast three solar systems too close to me. Also, it’s delicious,” Lando says,taking another delicate sip of something that most closely resembles tar.

“That’s raava,” Han says, unnecessarily. Whatever, he’sallowed to say stupid shit, he’s just turned twenty-seven galactic standard and,as a result, has been awake for, oh, too many hours after a birthday heist gone moderatelysideways.

“Yes, Han. That’s why I’m drinking it.”

“Three shots of that could knock out a Wookiee.”

“Says you.”

“Says Chewie,” Han replies.

“Chewie’s not here.”

Chewie had rolled his eyes and made a preemptive exit whenhe saw Han see Lando at the bar, mumbling something uncomplimentary about Han’slatent masochism. He’s probably found the nearest dejarik table by now.

“He’s, uh, somewhere. He’d back me up,” Han says, optimistically.Really, Chewie only backs him up when it matters, which usually doesn’t includewhen he’s needling someone in a way Chewie would describe as ‘flirting, but formorons.’ “Anyway, aren’t you here to negotiate a contract, or something? Don’tyou need to be sober for that?”

Lando swipes at Han’s collar, landing on his sleeve andgripping onto it. He leverages himself up to glare at Han’s face from threeinches away, and Han has the bewildering realization that his eyes have specksof gold in them. “Listen, don’t fucking,” Lando says. “Don’t you fucking –mother me, Han, I’m completely sober and I already have a mother, and she ismuch smarter than you will ever be. Quit hassling me.”

Han isn’t exactly firing on all cylinders himself, but heusually isn’t so he’s used to it, and he knows that Lando can’t be that sober,because he pronounces “Han” correctly.

Lando is watching him with narrowed eyes. He’s still waitingfor a response, Han realizes. “So, are you here to negotiate a contract?Because maybe I should speak on your behalf, since I’m definitely more sober thanyou, since I’m not drinking raava–”

Lando makes a noise of incoherent rage, and then cuts Hanoff with his mouth, which is very soft, and extremely nice, and suddenly right there.

Han only spares a moment to think that this is probably themost graceless thing Lando has done in his entire life and feels brieflyvictorious, before he gets distracted by, well, kissing him back, because whenthe galaxy hands you a fortune, you’d better run away with it before anyonerealizes they ought to be chasing you.

“You’re the worst,” Lando mumbles. The raava on his breathsmells – not terrible? What’s with that? Of course Lando Calrissian wouldn’tever exude anything as gauche as bad breath.

“You started it,” Han says, only slightly dazed.

“I did,” Lando agrees.

“You gonna finish it?”

“Well,” Lando drawls. “That’s really up to you.” A wide grinspreads across his face.

Han knows that grin, can practically see the gears switch inLando’s head. It’s a grin that says Han’s already been cheated out of hisfortune, and running away with it was, in fact, a pipe dream from thebeginning. Sadly, it is simultaneously a very attractive kind of grin.

The game dawns on Han, then. “You’re not here for thecontract,” he says.

“I’m not here for the contract,” Lando confirms. “I was heremostly to drink in peace. But since you won’t let me do that, I could certainlybe here to do other things, assuming you aren’t about to pass out on thenearest horizontal surface.”

Han gives up. Chewie will find him eventually. “The Falconis five minutes away.”

“Well, then, Han,” Lando drawls. “Lead on.”

(In a turn of events that Han and Lando will both latervehemently deny, they don’t make it to the bunks because they both pass out on the nearest horizontalsurface; Chewie finds Han asleep on top of Lando on the couch. The only item ofclothing that has been divested is Lando’s cape, which has been folded neatlyand placed on the table.

Chewie snaps a few holos for posterity and blackmail, andlaughs all morning at the way Han and Lando stubbornly ignore each other overbreakfast.)

(from here)