#this is the second time i'm writing this post—

[yoyomomiko]

Hello so I have a Daisuke x reader request if you don't mind! I loved the make out story you did and so if you don't mind Daisuke and reader making out an Daisuke bitting HARD on reader skin like this 😨 hard so hard that the EVERYONE could notice it and how it go to that point like if you don't mind

You don't have to do! If you don't want! Have a nice day!

Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader

Warnings: BITING; marking; hickeys, SUGGESTIVE (kinda nsfw, so mdni I guess??), cringe, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!

(A/N): I had a little bit too much fun writing this😨 THIS IS SO GROSS AND CRINGE WHAT DO I DO😣 Btw I like, haven't posted a fic in so long lol, I'm really sorry and all, I'm a bit late🤠 -> m.list

Daisuke's hands were both on opposite sides of your head, your legs wrapped around his waist and hands thrown loosely over his shoulders.

His lips were pressed to yours in a deep, heated kiss. He gently bit your bottom lip, as if asking for you to open your mouth. You let out a soft gasp and slowly parted your lips, his tongue immediately finding its way inside and twirling around with your own.

After a few moments, he pulled away, panting. You were breathing heavily, chest heaving up and down as you stared at him, watching him gaze back at you with love filling his eyes. You adored the way his hair fell down and over his face most of the time when he was looking down at you, when you were in the same exact position as you were in right now.

Daisuke smiled at you, his face burying into your neck as he started leaving soft kisses down to your shoulder. You chuckled at the ticklish sensation, with the way his lips barely hovered onto your skin, lightly pressing kisses. One of his hands went to hold onto your waist, the other supporting him.

His gentle kisses slowly turned to sucking, earning whines from you. He left a few faint red marks on your shoulders that would surely fade away in a few hours, luckily not too visible.

Daisuke trailed his kisses to your jaw, your hands tangling in his hair. All of the sudden, he bit down on your neck, digging his teeth into your skin and drawing out a yelp from you as you pulled on his hair. He gently licked the mark, sucking to soothe the pain.

Daisuke pulled back as he chuckled, staring down at you with nothing but joy in his eyes. He admired his work, eyes scanning over the faint red splotches, until he came upon the one he just gave you a few seconds prior. It slowly turned into a dark purple spot, right on your upper neck, on display to anybody passing by.

"Sorry." He smiled at you, to wich you raised a brow in confusion.

"You might need to cover that up." He added, nuzzling his face into your neck as you slowly came to the realization that yes, he did leave a noticeable mark.

"I thought we talked about where you place your kisses." You sighed out, fighting a smile at his stupidity.

"We did?"

You shook your head, knowing it was pointless. Just how would you walk around the ship now?

...

...

You thought you were slick enough.

You pulled your uniform collar a bit higher, covering over the mark perfectly.

What you didn't know, was that if you even tilted your head slightly, it would be completely evident.

...

...

CURLY

You were hurrying out of Daisuke's room, hoping not to be seen by others, scanning the area and making sure no one was there.

You fixed up your hair a bit, pulling the collar of your uniform higher.

Your shoes tapped on the floor, rushing through the hallways. You weren't even looking up ahead, eyes glued to your feet.

You raised your head just in time to prevent yourself from crashing into your captain, forcing your legs to stop abruptly.

You smiled nervously, looking at him and giving a short nod as a greeting, to wich he reciprocated.

Although his eyes seemed to linger on you for a while longer, his brows furrowing as he studied you.

"You okay?" He asked, his expression one of curiosity and hesitance.

"Yeah... Why wouldn't I be?" You replied, your brow arching in confusion.

"No reason... Carry on." He nodded, giving an unsure smile as he walked away, leaving you dumbstruck.

...

It HAD to have been a hickey. He knew it too well. He was aware of how one looked like... But that mark specifically looked more like teeth marks to him. As if someone bit down onto you.

Curly was a bit perplexed. He didn't remember there being a rule against relationships among the crew... But then again, who was it?

His suspicion was aimed at Daisuke, since you two are in close age range and always hang out together.

JIMMY

Your feet dragged on the floor lazily, humming to yourself on your way to meet Anya.

Just then, you saw Jimmy walking towards your direction. You didn't like Jimmy.

You almost rolled your eyes, but you gave a quick wave so he doesn't think you're an asshole.

He gave a nod back, before stopping briefly to look at you. He stared you down, eyes going wide and a frown forming on his lips.

"What the hell happened to you?" He asked in disgust, studying you.

You raised a brow as you tilted your head to the side in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed and shook his head, looking straight ahead again.

"Nevermind... slut." He mumbled the last part, chuckling as he walked away.

You swore you heard him insult you, but you just didn't hear him well enough, therefore there was no evidence.

...

He knew DAMN WELL.

Fingers pointed proudly at Daisuke.

Jimmy always had a feeling you two were a bit TOO close, not co-workers type of close, neither friends type of close.

He just didn't expect the dumbass to have a chance, let alone manage to get into your pants.

ANYA

After all of those uncomfortable encounters and awkward situations, you finally stopped in front of the medical room, where Anya was currently working.

Before you could enter, Anya herself came out of the room, a bit surprised to see you there as she flinched, before smiling quickly.

"Oh, you scared me..." She spoke, her eyes studying your face before they stopped at a specific spot.

Her brows furrowed a little, seeming concerned.

"Are you alright?" She asked, thinking it was maybe a rash, or possibly even allergies.

"Hm? Why wouldn't I be?" You questioned, squinting your eyes at her.

Everybody's been acting weird today...

Anya's eyes widened for a brief second as she took a closer look, her lips parting before they shut closed. She felt a weird burning feeling through her chest, and her mind just fogged up. Did something bad happen to you?

But you seemed happy... Maybe a little tense, but happy nonetheless. She thought back to all the times she's caught you and Daisuke in each other's rooms, brushing it off as just "friends talk", or all the times she's seen you two chatting a bit too smug in the hallways, also every single time she's heard you two flirt with each other. The corners of her mouth were fighting for life, trying to hold back a smile.

"No, nevermind, I think you should check up on that." She suggested, patting your shoulder and walking past you.

"Wait, I wanted to tell you something!"

"Check up on Daisuke while you're at it..." She whispered to herself, letting out a quiet giggle.

Your brows raised, lips forming a thin line. Just what the hell was going on?

...

It was hard to believe that YOU would actually do such a thing. She just couldn't think of her friend doing stuff like this.

She knew all too well it was Daisuke.

Another thing is that she was incredibly shocked at the fact that Daisuke managed to leave such a mark on you, she pondered for a while and came to the conclusion that it must've hurt like hell.

SWANSEA

You felt weird, getting scanned by your crew members' eyes and maybe even judged by some.

So why not try and find Daisuke, pretty much the only person who know how to comfort you best?

Of course, he'd be with Swansea.

You opened the door, but your boyfriend wasn't there, only the same grumpy man.

"What do you want?" Swansea asked, before turning to look at you.

"Just looking for Daisuke." You replied, taking a quick glance around the room.

"Are you okay?" He asked, squinting his eyes at you.

"Everyone's been asking me that, I don't get it!" You didn't bother responding, your brows furrowing as you started getting a bit irritated.

"Pull up your collar or something. Damn animals..." He muttered that last part, going back to his work as you stood there in utter shock.

So that's what was wrong.

...

Swansea already knew it. All too well.

Daisuke was just praising you so much, talking his ear off, mentioning every single detail you had.

Since the airhead can't keep secrets too well, he managed to accidentally spill it out one day.

But it wasn't like Swansea didn't know, he's caught you two together a couple of times, he just never talked about it.

...

You felt your cheeks heat up as you tugged harshly on your collar to pull it up, wanting the ship to crash right at this moment.

Screw you Daisuke. Screw your boyfriend for embarrassing you in front of everyone.

★yoyomiko ★miko

[kingofthering]

Hello. It's time. You've heard me talk about my spreadsheets and little fun stats facts here and there throughout the season but now that we're done with it, here is everything I have to tell you about what happened on track during the last 9 months.

This one article is the result of hours spent updating my spreadsheets throughout race weekends and the handful of additional hours I spent actually writing this week. I know this is not everyone's jam but I've tried my best to write it as clearly and as interesting as it could be.

It would mean a lot to me to have your opinion about it but also for it to reach a large amount of people. If you can reblog this post or leave a comment directly on the blog or retweet the tweet I made about it, etc... I will appreciate it a lot. Thank you in advance.

See you in 2025 ✌️

[ganxiously]

This is the part of the helicopter crash fic I started writing today. I don't know if I'm going to post it to ao3 but I did want to share it here. Now, this first update is angst so read at your own risk, but it will be a happy ending, I promise. This is Tommy's pov and I'll be back with Buck's side of things and the aftermath as soon as I have finished writing them —

The silence is stark in the aftermath and Tommy’s ears ring like they are still expecting the screech of the altitude alarms or the roar of metal crashing into rocks and trees. He’s not sure what happened, one moment he was flying his helo back to Harbour and the next, the altitude alarms started going off one by one. He had tried to fix it, tried to pull the bird up even as it became amply clear that nothing was working. They had dropped fast, swinging this side and that with the wind and then his tail had hit the cliffside, sending him and his medic rolling down the mountain in a 30-tonne metal can. He doesn’t know what happened to her, Amy, a new recruit with a penchant for keeping to herself. That’s why they worked together so well, a good thing until it led them here.

“Amy?”, he manages to ask, his voice coming out hoarse. “Medic Garcia?”

There is nothing. Not even the sound of feeble breaths. Tommy swallows the burgeoning feeling of grief and panic and tries to think of a way out. It’s dead of the night, the scenery outside the broken glass of his wind-screen pitch black, the flickering lights of the city not even visible from where he’s landed. He tries to move himself and then immediately freezes as the pain threatens to take away his consciousness. 

This is bad, he thinks. I don’t know how to get out of this one.

He is still strapped into his harness and beneath that, his flight suit is soaked with blood. It feels tacky and slippery against his skin, enough of it that he knows wherever it’s coming from, it’s not good news. It’s not survivable. His legs are pinned and he’s pretty sure the wet feeling around his eyes is blood. His ribs hurt and when he tries to move his hands, his shoulders refuse to bear the weight.

Oh, I am definitely not getting out of this one.

The realisation hits like G during a rapid climb and for the first time in long while, Tommy’s scared. He is terrified, as terrified as he hasn’t been since he was a wet-behind-his-ears boy seeing war for the first time. He thinks his hands would shake if he could move them that fast, his breath would stutter if it already wasn’t, wheezing past the damage, past the blood and tickling at his lips.  He doesn’t want to die like this, the thought occurs to him. He doesn’t want to die at all. He wants to turn back time and return to those scant months when he had been, for once, truly happy. He wants . . . he wants Evan. Beside him, holding his hand, his fingers tracing the lines on Tommy’s palm as he talks about anything and everything that comes to his mind.

Maybe that is the thing about impending death. Its finality, its loneliness puts things into perspective really fast. When he had all the time in the world, he had faltered, he had a thousand and one excuses ready as to why it was a bad idea. Now that Tommy’s out of time, there is not one that seems to hold up to reason. He wants Evan, he loves Evan and he should have told him that when he still had the chance. He should have spent every second he had left loving him.

He somehow manages to take his phone out of his pocket, surprised to see that it’s still mostly intact, except for the one thin crack down the middle. He thumbs it open and there he is, brushed golden in the sun and laughing at something Tommy had said. It’s a damn shame he can’t remember anymore what that something had been. There’s no cell service on his phone, which is bad but it also relieves him. He doesn’t have to make a 911 call, only to tell them they are already too late and like this, he won’t give in to the urge to hear Evan’s voice one last time.

He opens their message thread like he has done so many times these past couple of weeks, typing and deleting messages that never seem to be able to convey his complicated thoughts. He clicks on the typing bar, watches the keyboard pop up and then just keeps on staring, looking at the bloody fingerprint on his screen as he tries to think of what to write. What last words do you text your ex-boyfriend who you broke up with? That I’m sorry and I think I’m an even bigger asshole than you probably think I am?

The pain in his body notches up, so spread out that he barely knows where it originates from and he grits his teeth with an effort to keep himself from screaming. Eventually, it passes and Tommy takes the opportunity to click on the voice message button to the right.

“Buck.”

He hates that name on his tongue. 

“Evan.”, he starts and then stops again because it still doesn’t feel enough. It doesn’t feel like it encapsulates everything Tommy associates with that name — the warmth, the safety, the incredulous how is he real? and the helpless adoration that he just can’t seem to keep at bay no matter how much he tries. So, he gives it one more shot, “Evan. My Evan. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about a million things.”

A cough stops him, the movement jostling him enough that pain rips through him anew and he is left gasping and sobbing.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stay away. I’m sorry I didn’t leave earlier and I’m sorry I left when I did . . . I’m sorry I hurt you.”

He swallows the blood in his mouth or at least, he tries to but all of it comes out with the next cough.

“I should have stuck around. I should have stayed and I should have loved you as long as you let me. I should . . . I should have told you I love you. Even—even if you don’t and that’s okay. You should— you shouldn’t love someone like me but that was no reason to not tell you I did. I just . . . I should have loved you as hard as I could while I still had the chance, Evan. You, at least, deserved that.”

He’s getting colder by the second and the part of his brain that still works, tells him that he is going into shock. Tommy’s running out of time and he’s running out of time fast.

“I don’t want to die.”, he manages to say through the sobs racking through his throat. He thinks he should feel pain but there isn’t anything beyond numbness anymore, “I don’t want to die and I don’t want to go through death alone. I want you . . .”

No, but that’s not right, is it? He doesn’t want Evan in this mess. Evan doesn’t deserve to get hurt again just to accompany Tommy in his last moments. He should be far away, happy, healthy and at peace. Maybe it is better that they broke up. If this was always supposed to be the end, it is surely better that Evan no doubt hates Tommy a little bit now. Maybe, if he’s lucky, Evan will leave a flower on his grave one day.

“I really wanted to be your last, you know?”, he finally says after a minute of silence, the words spilling out almost conversationally, long after he thought he’s run out of things to say. “But more than that, I wanted you to be my last and I’m happy that I got it, even if it’s not in the way I wanted it to be.”

And it's so fucking typical of him, isn’t it? He is being so selfish right now, ruining Evan’s life like this just so he can get some things off his chest. And he knows Evan, he knows what this message will do to him. Evan will go through life with the burden of Tommy’s regret on his shoulders and he hates how tempting that thought is, that if not in his heart, Tommy’s existence will at least have a place in the scars he carries for the rest of his life.

Here lies Tommy Kinard. He’s the bastard that broke my heart once upon a time.

But no, he can’t do that to Evan. He’s been selfish when he kissed Evan the first time, when they decided to give it a second try and when he hurt Evan to protect himself. He’s been selfish every moment that he managed to steal in between.

“Nevermind.”, he breathes out, smiling through the blood that’s threatening to choke him. “Nevermind, Evan. You— you don’t need to know all that. You should forget me. Forget there was ever a Tommy Kinard who loved you. Live a happy life and maybe . . . maybe in our next one, I’ll get to keep you. I’ll delete this now. I would have deleted myself out of your life too if I could’ve but this will have to do. I’m really outta time here, kid.”

He tries to blink away the blind spots around the edges of his vision but he’s fading fast. He fights against the unmoored feeling that is taking over, tries to swipe his screen in hopes of deleting the message but his hands are too slick and too weak to do anything anymore. The phone slips from his grasp and falls with a thunk somewhere near his feet, not that it matters. Not when he can barely remember what he was doing with the phone in the first place. Something to do with Evan. Maybe.

He huffs at his uselessness.

“Evan.”, his lips shape the word with care even though his voice doesn’t quite manage to colour it fully but it’s enough. It’s enough to have that be the last thing he speaks, to be the last thing he thinks about. The name washes away the cold like dawning sunrise on a crisp winter morning and Tommy is at peace, he is content.

“Tommy?”

That’s Evan’s voice. He has to go. He has to answer. He has to—

[captainsophiestark]

Crib Construction

Cassian x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: ACOTAR

Summary: Cassian and his mate have been tasked with putting together Nyx's crib. Unfortunately, it's a harder task than they thought it would be.

Word Count: 1,282

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Cass, come here. Does this look right?"

My boyfriend didn't waste a second before joining me on the floor, kneeling behind me and looking over my shoulder. Neither of us spoke for a minute, then I heard a rustling of paper as Cassian sighed.

"Yeah, it looks right. That hasn't stopped it from being wrong before, though."

"Well, let's just hope for the best."

I could feel through the mating bond just how little Cassian wanted to do that, but he knew as well as I did that we didn't have much other choice. I took a deep breath, then gently pressed the two pieces of wood before me together, trying to get them to link like they were supposed to.

Of course, it didn't work. I added slightly more pressure, but still nothing. I put my entire weight and all of my strength into it, and when the damn thing still didn't budge, I let out a scream and shoved both pieces away from me before I could really lose my temper and accidentally break something.

"This is bullshit!" I shouted, whirling around to face Cassian. He had a look of grim resignation, meeting my eyes with sympathy. Our positions had been exactly reversed about ten minutes ago. "Rhys set this up as a way to get back at you for winning the snowball fight last time, and I'm getting caught in the collateral. This sucks."

"Honestly, maybe he did," Cass said, sighing and leaning back on his hands. "Or maybe Az did something to break this one too before he got kicked off the job."

I groaned, flopping over and into Cassian's side to lay against his chest and stare at the ridiculous contraption that had been defeating us all afternoon. Rhys and Feyre had asked us to assemble Nyx's crib, and at first, we'd been honored and happy to help. But hours later, when nothing was going right and none of the pieces were fitting together the way they were supposed to, I was about ready to throw all of it out the window and into the Sidra below.

We'd been given the task in the first place because Az had shattered the same type of crib to pieces after spending a day being stumped by the puzzle. Cassian and I had inherited the task for our ability to keep each other calm, and because we were generally less destructive when continually frustrated by a puzzle. This crib was about to ruin that reputation.

"Okay, maybe we should just start over from the beginning," I said, sitting up and turning to face Cassian after our brief rest. "Like, take everything apart and lay it all out on the floor again, then start back from step one."

Cassian groaned. "Honestly, I hate that idea. But what we're already doing clearing isn't working, so..."

"So let's try it. Deep breaths, and then a total reset. A fresh start."

"...Alright. Let's do it."

With a lot of heavy sighing, Cassian and I took apart what little progress we'd made, separating the crib back into its individual parts, the way it had come. Once we got it all laid out again, I took the instruction manual from Cass and laid that out in front of us, too. With one last deep breath, we started in again at step one on page one.

I wish I could say this attempt went better. But it didn't. Cassian and I almost destroyed the whole thing Az-style in a fit of frustration three times each, one of us barely managing to pull the other back every time. We were just lucky our destructive streaks never lined up, or the pieces of the crib before us would've already become nothing more than a pile of ash.

"Alright, that's it!" Cass finally shouted, standing up abruptly from where we'd been trying to wrestle together the corners of the crib with no luck, despite using both our strength at once. "I'll be right back."

"What?" I flung my arms out to either side of me as Cassian headed for the door. "You're abandoning me? Seriously?"

"Not abandoning! Changing tactics."

Before I could ask for clarification, Cassian was out the door. I stared after him, waiting for him to reappear or say he was kidding or something, but he didn't. I huffed, then shook my head and turned back to the crib, its pieces still mostly laid out on the floor.

I sat there and stared at the pieces for a few long beats, contemplating my next move. Honestly, I'd just about decided to throw them out the window and tell Rhys the thing'd never been here when the door came swinging open again.

I turned to find Cassian striding towards me, the confidence and determination back in his step. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he just grinned.

"I've solved all our problems."

I snorted, but smiled at Cassian all the same as he came to a stop before me. The fact that he'd managed to make me laugh at all in the middle of this nonsense was exactly why we were mates, and it made me love him even more.

"Cass, you know I love you, and you know I trust you, but... I'm having a hard time seeing how that could possibly be true. Unless you convinced Mor to take over for us...?"

"No, but just as good." I raised an eyebrow, and Cassian's grin widened as he dropped down next to me. Slowly, from behind his back, he pulled out a hammer, tape, and a few other supplies.

I just stared at everything for a moment, then snorted and leanded into Cassian. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Babe... we can't use that stuff to put this crib together."

"Why not?"

"Because it won't be sturdy enough! We don't want it to give out while the baby's in it. We both know we can't risk that."

Cassian hummed, rocking forward just enough to get a few of the pieces of the crib into his hands. He lined them up like we'd been doing all day, then raised the hammer in his other hand.

"Maybe you're right about the tape," he said. "But all we need to fix this is a little extra power. We can't force it together with our strength alone, so we'll use a hammer."

"Cass-"

Before I could get another word out, Cassian swung the hammer. I could see him putting his full Illyrian strength into it, and sure enough, the pieces whacked together. Unfortunately for us, they also splintered into more pieces than would be fixable, even with tape.

Cassian and I just stared at the wreckage for a moment, neither of us speaking. Cassian was the one to break first.

"Shit."

I laughed, all the stress and ridiculousness of the past few hours disappearing along with our hopes of actually succeeding at our task. I leaned into Cassian, and a moment later, he joined me.

"Well, that didn't go like I was hoping," sighed Cassian. I laughed again.

"Really? That's not what you were going for?"

"Not quite."

We shared a smile, then slumped back together, Cassian's arm around my waist as I leaned into his chest. I sighed, staring at the ruins of the crib before us. Not a single part of me wanted to do something about fixing it.

"So... how about we call Mor and find a way to pass this on to her?"

I laughed, then nodded as I leaned even further into Cassian.

"Baby, I was thinking the same thing. You, me, and Az have had to tear our hair out over this thing already, I think it's her turn."

"And even better, if any of us has to call Amren in, it'll be Mor."

"Exactly."

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen @misshale21

Maasverse Taglist: @lilah-asteria

[hestzhyen]

Analysis: Hakuri & Abusive Backstories

Hello dear void. Hakuri is a character that is near and dear to my heart so I wanted to yap about him and why his story is so important to me on a deeply personal level.

This is a LONG yapfest- the Tumblr Edit Post UI is hitching and lagging while I try to type this little notice there's so much word vomit in here. I honestly don't expect anyone to read it all the way through. I just wrote this to figure out why I was so goddamn attached to a fictional character and decided to jettison it into the ambivalent embrace of the internet. I spent too many hours on this to just delete it all once I found my answers, so... if you wanna strap in, go ahead. But maybe make sure you've got a decent chunk of free time and high tolerance for extremely subjective interpretations first.

*---------------------------------------------------------------------------*

DISCLAIMER: This is purely my opinion- I can't speak for anyone's experience but my own.

First, this isn't a trauma dump. Not for me at least. I'll be talking about what Hakuri endured and how it shaped his character in relatable ways thanks to the quality of the writing. But there won't be anything discussed outside of what happens in Kagurabachi canon, so rest assured on that front.

Second, please don't assume I had a terrible life because I latched on to a character that was literally tortured for years! Even though the major themes resonated with me and many of my thoughts were eerily similar to Hakuri's, nothing I experienced rose to such an extreme level. Like, I genuinely deserved the one time I was hit for being a shitty over-dramatic teenager so it doesn't even come close lmao. Fictional characters don't have to be 1:1 mirrors in terms of type or severity of trauma to be helpful self-reflection tools is all.

Third, I started writing this around chapter 53 and it's being posted as of chapter 58. If it ages poorly, well, I'm not saying I'm smart just because I yap a lot.

Without further ado... prepare for an expansion of massive proportions under the cut.

*---------------------------------------------------------------------------*

All too often we see shounen characters have an abusive sob story background to give them a sympathetic hook and a reason to start from zero. There's little to say about them other than they go from zero to hero for the good vibes and catharsis. They begin their story as a victim first and foremost, and there are little or no lingering effects from trauma once they have their moment of triumph. In the "good" cases they're healed and whole. In the "bad" cases they have negatively warped personalities for the rest of the story. There's not much in between the two extremes.

Portraying the abuse characters endure in such a shallow way is not the best way to write about it, from my point of view. Writing it as something that can be overcome with strength of will alone is harmful. So is writing the victim as a permanently damaged, defective person. Instead, we need more characters like Hakuri that are shaped but not wholly defined by their abuse, and aren't completely healed by putting the manifestation of their torment in the dirt.

Hakuri is the first character the [abusive past] attribute that actually worked as a hook for me. This is largely due to two key writing decisions: not centering Hakuri's entire narrative around overcoming the abuse he suffered, and carefully depicting how trauma influences his actions. It's necessary to read between the lines of what he says and does to see how much he hasn't said about himself- what he won't admit or recognize, despite how core it is to his character.

Chapters 19-23, Meeting and Getting to Know Sazanami Hakuri

Mantis imagery for courage!

The very first things we learn about Hakuri are as follows:

1) He pushes through hardship with sheer force of will 2) He lost his whole family and has probably been on his own for a while 3) #1 is a lie

I've brought it up before, but food symbolism is all over the place in Kagurabachi- it's often a short-hand for comfort and connection. So Hakuri spilling that metaphor out of his mouth right after telling us he's able to "push through" is a sign that he actually isn't coping with his situation that well. His thoughts about himself and his actual status don't match up. But it's ridiculous imagery that puts us off and pushes us towards thinking he's kind of pathetic rather than making us feel sorry for him. And the rest of his introduction, while accurate to his character, buries the lede on how much he's suffering.

As for his backstory: he was disowned, yes. He says his family will kill him if they see him, yes. But it reads more like Hakuri was punished for being a moral black sheep after he himself framed being disowned as punishment for "being weak" and "getting in the way of business". There's no hint of foul play on his family's part other than being low-life criminals to be fought as the arc villains. So he's primed for some sadness but probably nothing on Char's level. The only hints we have towards something serious until the chapter 24 reveal are not exactly obvious:

-He has a fatalistic mindset and thinks it's natural for him to be overpowered and kicked around because he's weak. (Could just be typical zero-to-hero shounen character things.)

-He's generally unafraid and highly tolerant of pain. He gives no shits about his condition after being kicked around by the Yakuza, smears the blood from his nose while casually talking to Chihiro, and willingly takes a strong hit and is able to yell encouragement to Chihiro while lying bloody on the floor. (Doesn't really stand out in a series as violent as Kagurabachi; this is kind of the bare minimum for being involved in the plot if you aren't a child to be protected.)

-Perhaps the only big tell-tale sign: we zoom in on his trembling fist when describing his older siblings as "strong and scary" in chapter 23. (Could be inferred as fearing for his life since he also says they'd kill him on sight in the same chapter.)

Hakuri's not written like a typical abuse victim in this intro. We don't get commentary from other characters about how much pain Hakuri seems to be in- they comment on how weak and dopey he appears instead. Nor do we get shots of him looking sad, flinching away from touch, or being hesitant to connect with other people. He's actually kind of unhinged with how passionate and eager he is to join forces with Chihiro. He's intense and ridiculous and gets used like a wholesome gag character more than anything else.

So there's not much to suspect here. Hakuri's got more to reveal to us but there are no signs of what we should brace ourselves for. Then the nightmare starts.

Chs. 24-26, The First Glimpse

This page goes from 0 to 100 REAL quick.

Well, shit.

Behold the understated reveal of Hakuri's status as a victim of abuse. The revelation at the bottom of the page only to see his suicide attempt on the page turn is an extremely effective "oh shit- OH SHIT-" two-hit combo that arrests the reader's attention, and I really wish that it was the most memorable part of the chapter for more people. Because holy hell, this recontextualizes everything we know about Hakuri. He's still a passionate, silly, and slightly insane guy, but damn he actually suffered more than he let on.

To find out like this is unusual, isn't it? Char's situation wasn't shown right away either, but meeting her as a scruffy orphan clued us in that she was going to have a tough past from the start. Hakuri, by comparison, gave us very few obvious hints about it. It's like he doesn't want to be seen that way. He openly admits to being "weak" and "useless" but his own pain? The suffering he endured? He's totally fine pushing past it all (lies).

But we're not even close to done yet.

Note how Hakuri's focused on Soya's hands...

Hakuri's first instinct being to jump to his death says a lot. Unlike standing up for the little girl or jumping in to save Chihiro, this is a purely reactionary response. There's no room to think back to Chihiro's bravery for inspiration as those memories overwhelm him. He's terrified. So he jumps and trembles in fear as Soya tries to talk him into coming back to relive his nightmares.

We laughed at the soda spilling out of his mouth and his expressions after he got hit in the face by Hiyuki, but this is deadly serious. Hakuri isn't okay at all. He's actually in very bad condition and the way he thinks about Soya says so much.

The panel explaining Soya's expression of "love" on the page above is important, but it's not emphasized in the same way as what's happening in the present. It feels like an unpleasant detour into Hakuri's inner thoughts for extra context while the main focus is on him and Soya in the moment. Hakuri doesn't even describe what happened to him directly- he says "punching and kicking" like it could be anything from hazing to broken bones, but the backdrop lets us know that it's probably closer to the latter. It gives the impression that Hakuri (understandably) doesn't want to think about this at all.

He also frames Soya's aggression towards him as an expression of "sincere" affection. That's preposterous and heart-breaking to most people- violence isn't love. Even most victims will acknowledge that... to a point. Violence hurts, it's unwanted, but it's still a valid expression of emotion to be acknowledged. It's something they earn or deserve. The rational people are correctly screaming NO IT'S NOT! And most victims would agree again... to a point. Somehow they're the exception to that mindset. Other people don't deserve it, but they do.

So despite it all, Hakuri is still able to be brave for Hinao's sake. He's not going to let Soya hurt anyone else if he can help it, even if it means putting himself back in harm's way. This adds an interesting layer to his character. He's laden with trauma, but he's still able to show courage for others. He thinks he's weak and won't prevent whatever abuse comes his way, but he will put himself at risk to stop others from experiencing the same or worse.

Why is he so devoted to protecting other people at his own expense? Sadly, it's not uncommon for victims to advocate harder for other people than they do for themselves. It also has something to do with the merchandise woman that was mentioned this chapter, but that reasoning won't be revealed for a while yet.

"This pathetic wretch was born a Sazanami, but he can't even do sorcery. He's useless. Worse, he's a hindrance. His life is worthless."

There's another thrill of panic when Kyora summons Hakuri to use his life as a bargaining chip. Hakuri's at his most pathetic here- he's on the ground, helpless under Kyora's foot, not even trying to resist or escape. None of the fire we saw when he saved the little girl, took that hit for Chihiro, or defended Hinao is present. Hakuri can't be brave for himself. He's quite literally trampled by what passes for the Sazanami version of "love" and "basic human decency". It doesn't need to be spelled out any clearer than this: Hakuri's woes come from his family, especially his father. The Sazanamis are fucked up even when it comes to how they treat their own flesh and blood. They're rotten from the head down.

It's obvious then why Chihiro's words and actions affect Hakuri so much. Hakuri thinks he has no value whatsoever- his father says as much, and he falls for Shiba's bluff implying the same. Only Chihiro steps in to directly repudiate Kyora's toxicity and say yes, Hakuri does have value. So much, in fact, that he's willing to trade the precious memento of his father (and the majority of his strength) to prove it. So they're able to leave, but not without Hakuri encumbering himself with a huge amount of guilt for how things went down.

The face of someone ready to spiral down and out.

It's telling that reassurances don't do much to help Hakuri feel better. Shiba tries to help by offering generic comfort (ice cream) and Chihiro tells him it's alright, but it's not until Hakuri hears that he's still needed that he's able to bring himself out of the mire of self-hate.

Of course it's extra effective for Hakuri because he was considered totally useless, but this is very relatable even for folks who weren't told they had no value on a daily basis. Offers of comfort only make the self-hate worse for some people who think they're utterly worthless. Even simple gestures like Shiba's twist the knife and reinforce the idea that the person doesn't deserve any kindness whatsoever. It just piles on the guilt. But being given something to do -especially if it's believably framed as something only they're capable of doing- feels incredible. They might have some value after all, even if only for this one thing.

It's something that I really appreciate the author doing since it's a touch that didn't need to be added. Hakuri could have just found a bit of solace in Shiba and Chihiro's words, which would have given more time for other things to be addressed in the chapter. But it's important to show that Hakuri struggles with accepting kindness because he took his father's words to heart. His feelings of worthlessness and uselessness are essential to who he is.

After this we see him at Chihiro's beck and call, prioritizing his requests over everything- relaxing with Char and Hinao, even his own comfort with another ice cream/food metaphor. It's framed as something silly and dog-like for the laughs, which once again encourages us to downplay the severity of this issue for him. None of the other characters ever directly point this out either. It's one of those informed traits that influences Hakuri's actions without any acknowledgment from himself or others, but just like the soda spilling out of his mouth, we're invited to treat it as a gag.

From here, the focus shifts entirely to building tension for the raid on the Rakuzaichi. Hakuri's circumstances are put on the back-burner to simmer for 5 weeks in real time until he confronts Soya in chapter 30.

Chs. 30 & 32-34, The Soya Rematch (what Chihiro and Shiba know):

Hakuri puts his fear of Soya aside to bait him out to help the mission. Chihiro and Shiba gave him a job to do, so he'll see it through no matter what. Unfortunately things don't go as planned and he ends up all alone with his biggest tormentor.

I'll have more to say about Soya himself in his own section with Kyora later, but it's very clear what his role as Chief Bully is, narratively speaking:

In a lot of ways, Soya is more object than actual character. He's our almost cartoonishly evil device to represent everything that's been repressing Hakuri. He's the demon in his head telling him he's useless, pathetic, weak, and so on. So Hakuri trying to square up to Soya is also him facing off against the things he's internalized that hold him back.

Hakuri's struggle against Soya before he awakens seems very hopeful and standard shounen. He's fighting the internal battle at the same time as the external, telling his brother to "shut up" while his mind races to figure out what he should do now that the situation went belly-up. He could keep playing the victim and take Shiba up on his offer to help since he can't reach Chihiro, or he could play dead and wait for it all to be over... or he could try believing in himself. Because Chihiro saw something in him and even if he can't bring himself to think he's strong and capable, he can at least have faith in Chihiro's words that they would end the Rakuzaichi together.

This time it works and he's able to shove Soya close enough to the tree wall so that Chihiro can give us a great visual metaphor to show us what just happened to Hakuri:

Chihiro is the one who broke Hakuri's mental barrier for him. He couldn't do it himself, but someone he admired believing in him in return made all the difference. Hakuri just needed a little support to start coming into his own.

He stays behind to handle the rest of the fight on his own while Chihiro goes ahead to meet up with Shiba- he can do this himself now that he's awakened thanks to their help. Very wholesome, extremely shounen. But there are deliberate writing choices which make it obvious that there's more going on beyond the surface that winning this fight won't fix or even fully address.

In Chapter 32, Hakuri tells Chihiro and Shiba a slightly condensed version of his experience as an uncomfortable reminder for the reader. Oh, right, Hakuri was abused- at least that explains why he survived a Flame Bone punch to the face. Anyway, let's move on to ditching John Hishaku and kicking Soya's ass.

The framing is so interesting to me. Chapter 32 uses preexisting panels that are cropped and presented slightly differently compared to how they originally appeared: Ch. 24

Ch. 32

Full page for reference.

When Hakuri recounts a version of the abuse flashbacks, they're not merely downsized to fit. They're cropped to downplay the gang-ups and are smaller in size compared to the rest of his story, almost as if he doesn't think it's that big of a deal compared to being unable to keep up with his siblings. We don't even see his own words describing what happened despite him talking freely about everything else. Instead, the abuse sequence is treated like the panel where he describes Soya's "love"- Hakuri talking to Chihiro and Shiba about his suffering is an unpleasant aside to give context rather than the main event.

Seriously. The dialogue of him explaining why his family gave up on him over the reused backdrop of the Sazanami estate is given more time than him being hit and kicked. Chihiro and Shiba get the "it wasn't so bad" version of events compared to what Hakuri remembers experiencing, and we're invited to treat what's normally the foundation of a character's entire existence as a convenient explanation for why he's so goddamn sturdy.

Neither of them noticeably react to his story too. We got a bit from Shiba in the car in Chapter 26 when he realized Hakuri was probably stewing in self-hatred, but we've never seen any of Chihiro's thoughts or reactions since he was disgusted by Kyora using Hakuri as a bargaining chip. He does reassure Hakuri that they'll be there to help him, but isn't it strange we don't see Chihiro's reaction to this information at all? We see little panels of his concerned faces all the time for less than what Hakuri talked about here:

Chihiro cares a hell of a lot, and he's very attentive to boot.

Obviously we don't see Chihiro and Shiba's reactions because they aren't important. This isn't about Hakuri's abuse- we already knew about it. The focus is on Hakuri's awakening and his faith in Chihiro, not the past.

This is a victim's mindset manifesting as clever visual storytelling, in my opinion. Of course it's not that bad when he has to talk about it; he invited it by being weak and not living up to standards. It wasn't a big deal though. There's more important stuff to do right now anyway. And the story moves on as if to agree with him- we go right back to our regularly scheduled action scenes interspersed with some flashbacks to contextualize other characters, namely Tenri and the Sazanamis before Hakuri was rejected.

That's right, Hakuri once again dodges abusive past cliches by being doted on and cared for before he was found lacking. He knew what it was to be loved, even if the Sazanami version is manipulative to the point of being abusive all by itself. There's more to say about this under Kyora's section but no wonder Hakuri's so fixated on being useful- he wants that affection and sense of belonging back more than anything. It's fucked up, but it's all he knows. So Hakuri was abused twice over: emotionally and physically. Damn. He turned out pretty alright despite it all, huh? Wonder how that happened...

Well, it's time to move on now so he can ascend and overcome it all. He's gotta yell "Isou!" and prove himself, and the next two chapters seem to be putting him on course to do just that, albeit with some difficulty. Can't make a character's awakening too easy or it won't feel earned. He's got some serious trauma to overcome thanks to his family's bullshit.

Then chapter 35 hits and we get the nightmare fuel.

Ch. 35, The Real Backstory (what Ice Lady knew):

Chapter 35 is that long-awaited full-chapter delve into Hakuri's painful past with the mysterious woman, and boy does it have some unsettling revelations.

Ice Lady's tragedy is framed as the important driving force for Hakuri as we know him- she broke him free from his family's grip and motivated him to seek help to end their evil ways. She's the entire reason we meet him in Chapter 19. Everything Hakuri is doing this arc ties back to how badly he fucked up with her, setting the stage for him to become the savior he tried to be when we met him. Oh yeah, we got more Hakuri abuse lore. Can you believe that WSJ let the author get away with showing someone slitting their throat in front of a kid?! And make it at least partially his fault? Jesus Christ. Now it's truly time for him to come into his own, though- oh man that cliffhanger at the end of the chapter...! Wait, what do you mean there was more to his suffering besides the situation with Ice Lady?

I was being a bit facetious there but the point stands. We didn't get a tear-jerker reveal chapter dedicated solely to Hakuri's pain and suffering at long last just to make us feel bad for him and nothing else. Instead, we got a full-blown tragedy caused by the Sazanami cycle of abuse. The nightmare of Ice Lady killing herself in front of Hakuri overshadowed the reveal that damn, Hakuri actually had it super rough. Because yeah, that was unexpectedly brutal even compared to Chihiro being baited with Char's severed leg last arc. It really drove home just how fucked up the situation with the Sazanami family was and how it affected everyone that got tangled up in their bullshit.

So the presentation of what he endured is once again subdued even though the panels showcasing the tools took up half the page. Soya breaking Hakuri's finger was called "bullying" (いじめ[ijime], not 虐待 [gyakutai, abuse]). A single flash back frame off to the side seems small compared to the emphasis on Hakuri telling Ice Lady (and us) that it's "not that bad" because Soya keeps losing the tools and going back to using his fists (the terror in Hakuri's expression in that panel is completely at odds with how calm is explanation is, though). It's also not unreasonable to presume that the jump rope, peeler, and wrench were shown for the audience's benefit to clue us in that Hakuri's holding back again, much like the panel describing Soya's "love" in chapter 24. He's always saying the bare minimum and trying not to think of the rest- he buries that shit deep.

But he has to if he wants to keep going. There's no way he can sit down and process all of this right now:

Hakuri: "It's normal for my brother to break my bones and worse before he loses the tools. He usually only hits me anyway, so it's not like this happens all the time."

Woman betrayed by the man she loved to be sold at an auction as merchandise to the boy overseeing her captivity: "That's messed up!"

"This is as close as I can get to being cherished by the people who are supposed to care for and support me."

He even misses the point when he finally does open up:

"You're the one who's trapped in a cage."

This part is the hardest for me to write about, honestly. Again: I was never tortured or anything, much less hit. But this chapter is the one that made me take a good, hard look at what I went through and connect some dots. Hakuri's mindset, the things he says, the way he phrases things- that's someone who doesn't want to acknowledge that they're in a bad situation that's not their fault.

Hakuri will talk about his own worthlessness and all his defects that "invite" the abuse, but he won't acknowledge that he doesn't deserve what's happening to him at all. He's not the kind of shounen character who understands that his situation sucks and uses it as fuel to become better. Instead, he's stuck in that oh-so-relatable spiral of self-deprecating negativity that keeps victims trapped.

It's easier for Hakuri to think he deserved it for his own failings. This wouldn't be happening if he hadn't earned it somehow. He's in this situation because he's weak and any "love" is better than none at all. Then it's reinforced by the genuine helplessness and vulnerability of being too isolated to escape or know better, compacting down into dense layers of denial and self-hate that act as defensive armour against emotions that are too difficult to face. Like anger or the desire for something better. Like hope. Those are only felt on behalf of others, not himself.

At any rate, it's a bit distressing that so many people forget that Hakuri's actually a hell of a lot more complex than he was hinted to be before this chapter. He's not an innocent in all this like Char was, which is incredibly smart and realistic writing from the author. Hakuri was also an abuser himself. An accidental one, but doesn't matter when you talk to someone the way he did to Ice Lady. He didn't swing the knife but he did kill her with the same mentality that was crushing him down on the inside.

He doesn't use his suffering as an excuse for anything he does, good or bad. Not even in the sense of wanting to save others- that's all about Ice Lady and his family's terrible legacy. What happened to him isn't worth mentioning or acting on. Yet another distressingly accurate facet of a victim's mentality, unfortunately.

But this must be it. This chapter was a depressing surprise but surely there's nothing left to reveal. We had his big moment of sadness so it's only going up from here. Hakuri's going to overcome everything and it'll all be okay! Back to standard shounen powerups!

Chs. 36-43, Putting the Past to Rest (things only Hakuri knows):

Oh.

In chapter 36, the storehouse reveal somewhat overshadows all the instruments of abuse Hakuri unwittingly stored inside it. There are a lot of people who completely forgot about the objects in there during the hype of the moment, and I never get tired of seeing "WTF?!" posts and comments from folks doing re-reads of the arc. It's so easy to overlook the rope and sticks and all the other tools when you're cheering hard for Hakuri to finally, finally overcome his tragic past by putting Soya down. Worst Big Bro is gonna pay and Hakuri's ascension will be complete! ... Wait, was that a goddamn chair?

There's also a point made of Soya's defeat not being a resounding victory.

Still framing Soya's abuse as love, but it's got a bitter feel to it this time.

Hakuri is the one who gives Chihiro strength in the moment despite everything he's just been through.

We're cheering when he awakens and pressurizes Soya's guts, but then these panels remind us that there's nothing to celebrate from Hakuri's perspective. He doesn't savor finally overcoming Soya as his abuser or the manifestation of everything that's messed up about his family. There's no immediate sense that things will be okay from now on either. To Hakuri, this isn't a personal victory. It's just something that needed to be done for Ice Lady and all the victims of the Rakuzaichi.

This is a sort of capstone to Hakuri's backstory. The second-to-last new thing we learn about him is that the abuse was still somehow worse than we thought. He really, truly buries the lede when it comes to what he suffered and the writing is in cahoots with him on it. He won't even take the time to smile or feel a little relief- he's not ready for that yet. Instead he just walks past Tenri's mutilated corpse to pull Chihiro along to get the job done.

If this was a different series we might get a little more catharsis- even just the barest hint that Hakuri's gonna be just fine from now on. But this is Kagurabachi and the author fucking gets it so there's still a little more to unpack before Hakuri can have an opportunity to begin the healing process.

In chapter 37, the pain of Kyora looking away was framed as just as important to Hakuri as the fond memories of when he was loved and wanted:

"... I still wanted you to praise me, Father."

The very last thing we learn about Hakuri is that he wanted his father's love despite it all.

Hakuri ended the torment from Soya- he'll never have to worry about his skin being peeled off or getting beaten with a pipe ever again. But the cycle that caused it- and the complex feelings for the people who hurt him- aren't so easily dealt with. It's not so simple as being hurt and flipping a switch to stop feeling affection for the perpetrator. So Hakuri acknowledges that he still wanted his father's praise in spite of the years of torment the man knowingly enabled.

In the end, Kyora grants Hakuri's secret wish and acknowledges him at the very last as the chaos fades away so that they're the only thing in each other's view. He really, truly won it all. He doesn't rejoice in victory, though. Once more there's no triumph for Hakuri to celebrate. Killing his father was just another thing that had to be done so that there would never be another Ice Lady.

It's hard to say what exactly Hakuri's feeling about Kyora's death since it's yet another thing we haven't seen him talk about- and may never. It's not too much of a stretch to think he's got a complex mix of sadness, relief, and guilt going on, though. At least the moment when their eyes met was intensely cathartic after all the times Kyora deliberately looked away. But Hakuri's still not okay yet.

It's not like life suddenly gets better when the abuser is gone for good in some cases. Hakuri's still struggling in the immediate aftermath of seeing his father die at last. It's a relief that there won't be any more pain caused by the Sazanami clan -and Kyora in particular- but it still fucking hurts to lose someone so important to you. It's also frightening to suddenly be thrust into the unknown without a guide of any kind.

Fortunately for him, Hakuri is able to find new purpose with Chihiro. He gets to walk away from his family and stay with the people who believed in him. This is another thing that I can't praise the author enough for. It's far, far too common for writers to frame victims reforming their abusers as some kind of ultimate victory.

No, no, no!

The most charitable way to explain this is that the survivor is so saintly that they'll even reach out to the ones who hurt them to help them become better people. But that is such utter bullshit I don't even have the words to express myself properly. It's terrible messaging for survivors. They don't have any obligation whatsoever to help the people who hurt them. They don't even have to keep tabs on how the abusers are doing in a general sense. They get to fucking leave and find happiness with people who treat them well. That is the true ideal.

Hakuri being given a clear out to leave is where the rest of the catharsis in his story comes from. He doesn't have to stay and fix things even though he absolutely could as the first person since the clan's founder to have both Isou and the storehouse powers. Kyoura and Soya are gone- he could have stepped in to make the clan right their wrongs and atone as a family. But there's not even a hint of guilt tripping from the author about Hakuri's decision to follow Chihiro. It's framed as the best possible thing for him to do, in fact.

If he stayed, he'd never work on the other issues around self-worth that he's burying so deep inside. Switching from villainy to good deeds won't resolve the issues with the clan's mindset about being living tools for a greater cause either. Not to mention the fact that there's nothing his siblings can offer him even if they treat him like a king for the rest of his life- the damage was already done long ago. There's nothing left for him there except more misery and stagnation. He needs to go with Chihiro, his new north star, to learn how to heal.

But lest this outcome be too heartwarming, Hakuri's still not directly facing everything that he went through. Hakuri phrases working alongside Chihiro as "proving the value that [Chihiro] saw in him", not "starting over" or "making the world a better place together" or even "paying Chihiro back" by helping him on his mission. He's still trying to be useful in the service of someone else like a tool.

Hakuri's bruises are already fading; or at least they were until I had to edit this part in light of the events of chapter 56 onward. But the mental scars of the abuse are still guiding his actions and thought processes even if he doesn't acknowledge it. And that's where we come back to the torture implements still hidden in his warehouse.

Hakuri's not home free despite us collectively sighing in relief that he got his Happily Ever After, subdued as it was. He needs to face what he's been avoiding and burying so that he's not endangering Chihiro's plan and the people around him by throwing himself in danger just to be even the slightest bit useful.

Oftentimes, trauma is an invisible scar that needs to be worked around for the rest of someone's life- hence why he's still got those physical manifestations stored deep inside where only he can see and grant access. Hakuri's only just started out on the path to redemption and recovery. He needs to start addressing the guilt over Ice Lady and learn some tough lessons about self-worth before he can even begin to look further inside to those Visual Metaphor Tools.

After that, if the author's interested in continuing this part of Hakuri's character, is exposing them and what they mean to someone who can help Hakuri get rid of them. Whether that's Chihiro, Shiba, or someone else doesn't really matter. Hakuri's got a long road ahead dealing with the lingering after-effects, unlike so many of his fictional fellow survivors. He's still very much in need of a lot of support from his new found family- now more so than ever after what happened in chapter 58.

Soya and Kyora

There's something to be said about the writing for the primary abusers, too. The Rakuzaichi arc was well-received in large part to Kyora being an incredible villain and Soya being... Soya.

Soya

And the "Worst Big Brother" Award goes to...

Soya serves two primary purposes in the narrative: to contrast Hakuri's character, and be the manifestation of everything that was wrong with the clan.

Soya and Hakuri share similar looks, hand gestures, and extreme expressions but they couldn't be more different. Soya has the inverse of Hakuri's character framing: he's shown to be competent and strong, and almost everyone in-universe acknowledges him as such-we're even told he's smarter than Kyora. But he's actually quite the pathetic loser due to his freakish obsession with his "weak" little brother.

More obviously, Soya is the rotten core of the family. He's obsessive over Hakuri to an extremely alarming degree- he even refuses his duties as the next clan head and a member of the elite Tou to find and stay with Hakuri. Kyoura tells him to "stop fixating on that failure" but Soya's having none of it, he just can't let go of his "endearing" weakling of a little brother. Bullying Hakuri is what he lives for and he does it all in the name of purest love. Just like the clan lives for the Rakuzaichi and are devoted to it mind, body, and soul. They're both extremely toxic and Soya's the guy who gets to represent the deleterious effects of cleaving to abusive mentalities on individual members.

Soya's fists and words to Hakuri are the blatant messaging about what the Sazanami mindset did to him. He had that mental block preventing him from using his sorcery because he was constantly being told he was weak and useless. It was literally beaten into him as a form of love, but not all abusive mentalities need to be reinforced with violence. Soya was just there to make the point too obvious to be missed.

Hakuri's final words to Soya say it all. Soya throws a tantrum over Hakuri refusing to lay down and take the abuse any more and screams "Why won't you go down?! Why won't you die?!" Hakuri simply responds that it's because Soya "always loved [him]" and deals the final blow. He was able to recognize the strengths his family gave him through Soya's "love" but he's not grateful in the slightest (and he shouldn't be). He's simply ready to sever all ties and move on with tearing it all down now. Hakuri was finally able to accept that he didn't want or need that kind of love in his life any more.

Kyora

And the "Worst Dad" Award goes to...

Obviously, Kyoura is the key to this whole mess. He's the one who instilled his children with corrupt values, enabled Hakuri's abuse, and generally Fucked Up Big Time when it came to loving his kids properly. But he thought he was doing the right thing because what's what he went through. He was both abuser and victim himself, just like Hakuri.

This is the key part of abusive backstories that are so often missed. Abuse doesn't always come from deadbeat caretakers that hate the innocent little kid. That scenario is actually way too over represented in fiction, honestly. Abuse isn't always constant malice- it can start later in life. It can even be born from love. Ultimately, it's all too often the unintended consequence of a family haunted by the specter of the cycle. And Kyora is the perfect summary of how and why it echoes through generations.

Hakuri was loved and wanted for at least half of his life. His family might not be wholesome or have healthy attitudes about affection, but he wasn't born hated and mistreated just for existing. He was cared for to the best of his dad's ability just like Tenri and his other siblings.

Even when Hakuri failed to live up to expectations, Kyora didn't just write him off and turn him loose. He kept Hakuri around for years feeding and clothing him and let him try to do what he could. Kyora simply couldn't justify protecting him or showing love since the family ideals were so warped around being able to serve the clan's tradition. He wasn't "allowed" to love a failure, no matter how much he wanted to.

Kyoura struggled about his feelings for his "worthless son" in the flashback we saw through Tenri's PoV- he wanted Hakuri to succeed. He acted like Hakuri forced his hand to punish and marginalize him for failing too hard, not out of ill-will. And during the raid itself he was actually "bent out of shape because he used Hakuri's life as a bargaining chip", according to Enji. It wasn't even until Hakuri showed up to break into the storehouse that Kyora truly cast everything away to prioritize the Rakuzaichi. He really did love Hakuri in his own way.

Kyora was a shitty dad and person, don't get me wrong. No one should put family tradition over their child's well-being and he more than earned his death just by being a human trafficker. But it's clear that Kyora wasn't written to be a shallow, irredeemable monster of a person- he didn't exist in the story just to be a villain and to make us feel bad for Hakuri. He's a tragic character in his own right.

He couldn't even understand why his wife's final words about the auction ruining their lives was replaying in his head near his final moments. The what-if scenario of his happy family sitting down to eat dinner in an apartment somewhere showed his longing for something that he could have had, if not for the goddamn auction. If not for the abuse that made him into the person he chose to be until the very end.

It's why Hakuri getting to walk away is such a poignant end to the Rakuzaichi arc. He's the one who gets to break the cycle on his own terms, and that's the true end of the Sazanami dynasty. The auction hall doesn't collapse until he decides to stand tall and follow a new path. Whatever Hakuri's siblings do with the Sazanami legacy isn't his concern any more- he's free.

What About Char?

Char's story was also well told! It's the earliest evidence that the author actually gets it when it comes to depicting abuse victims. She's reticent despite her desperation, unable to open up even when Shiba and Chihiro tell her she needs to or they'll send her to an orphanage. Eventually Chihiro wins her trust through his altruism and she comes to believe in him. She and us are the only ones who know exactly what happened with her mom, but it's not important for the rest of the cast to be in on it. She's safe and happy now and that's enough.

Even though Char's arc ended close to that overly-simplistic "everything is k now" scenario that I hate, there's one key difference that sets it apart to let us know that no, she's not truly okay yet.

Char's still got some attachment issues, which makes perfect sense. She lost her mom in a traumatic way so of course she's happily surprised that Chihiro came back to her. Char's on the path to healing- she's able to thrive thanks to Team Goldfish's care- but her abusive past still shapes who she is in small ways like this.

I doubt we'll see more development of her beyond checking in now and then. She's too young to be consistently involved in the heavy themes of Kagurabachi's story, much less the fights. But it's good to know that the author includes little details like this so we don't assume Char's 100% fine now. He understands that trauma doesn't just vanish when the victim's safe in their Happily Ever After scenario. That's why he made sure we knew that she's going to be okay in the long-run.

Ch. 26, right after Chihiro trades Enten for Hakuri

But Hakuri's not there himself yet.

Food as a metaphor for comfort, security, and/or connection is constant in this series. It's very obvious symbolism to let the author convey a bit more context in the scene than dialogue alone can. So when Hakuri rejects food here, he's rejecting reassurance from Shiba. Meanwhile Char's already comfortable enough to accept it. Good for her, truly!

Hakuri's situation wasn't necessarily worse than hers, but it was a lot more complex. So even though he's safe now, he's not really able to pursue his happiness yet. All those tools he keeps locked up inside, the mindset of being one himself- they're still issues for him to work through. But there's hope for him too.

The author went out of his way to show us that Hakuri's also on the path to healing here. The last time Hakuri shared food with someone, he was forcing his abusive ideology on Ice Lady. She started finishing the meals and truly internalizing the hopelessness of her situation. He fucked up the food as comfort/connection metaphor bad with her.

Yet in Chapter 47, we see Hakuri sharing some snacks with Chihiro on the train. Sharing food isn't connected to the situation at hand or the information dump it's serving as backdrop for, so it's definitely a deliberate choice on the author's part to depict this instead of literally anything else. It was shown to let us know that Hakuri's on his way to his own Happily Ever After.

He's able to connect to Chihiro and not worry about the repercussions. This is a huge step for his character and speaks volumes about the level of trust between them; this is the first time Chihiro's willingly accepted food from someone else too. Hakuri's not only still reaching out to other people, he's still able to provide warmth to others despite it all.

What's Next?

I'm not going to pretend that I can predict what Hakuri's story will look like from here on out. He'll have a hard time for as long as he's slated to get development though- Kagurabachi takes the adage "suffering builds character" very seriously. We're only 58 chapters in as of finally posting this so it's best to strap in and expect a lot more pain.

That said, I feel like Hakuri's self-sacrificing mindset is going to be addressed first. As of chapter 55, he's set up to fail and cause problems by throwing himself into danger despite not being fully healed or rested. The root of this issue would likely be his atoning savior mindset. Hakuri needs to protect and save others very badly after what happened to Ice Lady. He also loathes the idea of others making sacrifices for his sake. So he's willing to throw his life away even when it would be better for his allies if he stayed out of the fighting.

There's also a good reason we met the Makizumi clan in the arc immediately after the Rakuzaichi fell- Hakuri needs to start dismantling the "tool" mindset that was drilled into him. He's only switched his fervor from serving the Rakuzaichi to serving/saving others. This is extremely toxic when combined with his guilt over Ice Lady and drives him to go to extremes to do good, to the point where he's ignoring everyone trying to get him to rest and heal for the sake of the mission if nothing else.

In essence, I believe we are going to finally address the lie of his introduction- that he can keep pushing through hardship with sheer force of will. Because that is not how overcoming trauma actually works.

After that, only the author and his editor know exactly where things will go. But I hope that no matter what happens, Hakuri's lingering trauma is exposed and dealt with. It's informing all of his actions, positive or negative, whether he wants to acknowledge it or not. I have faith that this author can tackle this subject compassionately and realistically- he's already done it twice with Char and the Rakuzaichi arc.

So that's that. If you read all this... thanks. Take care, and choose kindness for yourself for today.

[loveaurapearl]

Wild Life Mechanics

Hey guys, I was thinking about the Mechanics of Wild Life and the theory that the previous winners create the next game. The first thing I want to say is that while Cleo is a winner and we should respect the queen, it's clear that Wild Life wasn't created by her. While she is chaotic and loves to burn things, Wild Life is not a game she would make. She's pretty level-headed and only burns people's bases if they make her mad. She would not choose the next game to have random effects each session. Scar, on the other hand, is completely crazy and would have the games be so chaotic. Sure, Grian and the other Watchers are the ones who decide the game and how it functions, its clear that the winner has some input on how the game is created. Scar even mentioned in his first episode that he and others suggested ideas to implement into the game. He just wasn't sure if Grian put those ideas into use. It's just funny that the mechanics that Grian decided to use directly relate to Scar and the struggles he goes through. And I will be analyzing each Wild Card that we know of for now. (This will be outdated tomorrow since a new episode will come out. But I don't want the idea to disappear from my head, so I'm writing this now.)

The first session had the Shrink and Grow Wildcard and it relates to Scar's sensation of scale. While Scar is 6 ft tall and has known the feeling of being tall, for most of his time, he's in a wheelchair at around 4 ft tall and thus, he is also small. We saw that immediately with small Scar during Real life. Scar is both a tall man, and also small, just like session one's Wildcard where you can be both big or small. And for most of Scar's session, he tries to be in the middle. Just be his regular, Minecraft self, since he doesn't want to be reminded of relatity.

The second session was about having your food randomized and having to eat things like dirt and rocks. This relates to the fact that... well... Scar can't eat like a normal person anymore. Scar can only 'eat' through a tube and has to constantly make sure the food is mush. He also fantasizes about eating people. c!Scar is a cannibal and so when the watchers changed what he and the other lifers could eat, his brain couldn't handle that truth and just assumed they just couldn't eat. It was only thanks to Grian that he and his team managed to survive.

The third session was the snail and it was pretty simple what was happening. Scar had been tormented by the Snails in Hermitcraft and now they transferred over to the life series. The watchers made them into one-shotters because it would hurt Scar more since he's already not great at staying alive.

The fourth Session relates to the fact that Scar is pretty slow when making videos because of his illness. Scar starts off slow, but once he gets going, it's hard for him to stop. He mentioned tons of times that he tends to forget how long he should be on the computer and thus ends up being on a project for hours. Usually ending some episodes while it's like 1 in the morning for him.

And finally, session 5's gimmick was the Quizmaster, which relates to the fact that Scar is constantly reminiscing on the past. Mostly third life, double life, limited life, and secret life. Scar has been haunting people's posts and remembering the past. He got a good chunk of questions right. It was only the Last Life questions he didn't know completely since he was so sick during Last Life that he had to miss a session because of his real-world illness. Like he knew the horn Jimmy used in Double Life, but he couldn't remember the name because he's bad at remembering names.

Now, none of these gimmicks were meant to relate to Scar. After all, Grian created all the gimmicks. Its just funny how all of these gimmicks able to be connected to Scar. Grian truly is Scar's soulmate. Also, the fact that yellow and red names can kill dark green lives to get health back and has been compared to cannibalism is funny because I can connect this to Scar since c!Scar is a cannibal. He would totally implement the idea of adding some kind of cannibalism into the games. It is my headcannon that Scar was the one who had the random lives and life trade mechanic in Last Life while Grian put in the Boogeyman mechanic since Grian AND Scar both won Third Life. It's just a shame most people, including Scar, don't remember that Third Life was a double victory. So yeah. Scar is the only winner who won two games. Scott doesn't count because he didn't win Double life. He gave up the game to Pearl and she is the sole winner of Double life while Scott got second. Just wanted put idea up.

[fynnlink]

Arcane doesn't need a THIRD season...

It needed THREE seasons

Arcane discussion / slight critique (obvi SPOILERS)

Alt title: "Arcane's character arcs: Tell not Show"

It's quite long.

I'II preface this by saying:

1) Arcane, especially from a creative standpoint, is a masterpiece and testament to what animation and showcraft can be/achieve. The three year hiatus was more than worth it. Hats off to everyone involved.

2) I thoroughly enjoyed the second season and the finale. It hit all the right emotions and I cried laughed and loved throughout my viewing(s).

But 3) Despite my enjoyment of the entire series, there are a few issues I had with Season 2 and the ending of the series.

Now to the title: In my opinion (and despite my wanting one) Arcane does not need another season after the finale and the story can instead be carried on better/just as well in subsequent spin-offs (like the likely Noxian one). Instead Arcane could've/would've benefited from a runtime of three seasons with the story of Season 2 being split up into two seperate seasons.

Without further ado

Arcane Season 2 started off great, from the season opening with the direct and immediate aftermath of Jinx's attack using Fishbones (the rocket launcher), Cassandra Kirammin's gorgeous HAND-DRAWN funeral, to all the emotional and high intensity scenes with the Zaunites from Silco's funeral and the Jinx-Sevika-Isha found family/team-up, all the way to the first act's incredible conclusion with the Temple of Janna Showdown and the Discovery of the Wild Rune below the Hexgate. It had and was everything I wanted and wno et of all the writing I wanted and more, the animation, the acting, the soundtrack and most of all the writing.

There were certain issues which I'll get to in a second but Season 2 Act 1 was mostly solid writing and followed through on Season 1's excellently written explorations of oppression, police brutality, ableism, class divides and classism, racism and prejudiced bigotry and many other complex and importand real themes/matters. After Act 1 followed Act 2 and my first big issue and the entire premise of this post: another (albeit much shorter compared to S1 A1 to S1 A2) timejump. While this usually doesn't necessarily pose an issue especially since Arcane has successfully handled timejumps/skips in the past without too much "Tell not Show" (an inverse of the "Show don't Tell" trope https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShowDontTell#:~:text=This%20is%20a%20writing%20or,book%20doing%20indisputably%20badass%20things.) which can lead to characters and storybeats feeling disconnected or the changes feeling jarring.

The multiple timejumps and montages rush a story that would've benefited from time and patience. I understand why these choices were made and the montages were creative and gorgeous, however there were too many in too few episodes.

The time between Act 1 and Act 2 of Season 2 should have been shown and not summarised into a montage.

Vi's arc and development into her in-game self (i.e an Enforcer) was incredibly rushed and underdeveloped ("Are we still Sisters?"-Jinx "Nothing is ever going to change that" S1 E9 | "My sister is gone. There's only Jinx now."-Vi S2 E3) and in many ways actually devolves/regresses upon her established character ("I grew up knowing I'm less than them. That my place is down there. I want Powder to have more than that and I'm willing to fight for it." S1 A1 "I'm the dirt under your fingernails, Cupcake." S2 E9) compared to season 1 Vi's character is or at least feels very reduced to simply one half of CaitVi, there's also no real follow through / no real consequences to Caitlyn's actions both as a Dictator General of Piltover and especially towards Vi. There was no actual apology from Cait (no, micro-expressions and withdrawing Jinx's guard does not make up for physical abuse) and the entire "Prison Cell - steamy edition" felt out of nowhere/weird (I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT CAITVI'S FEELINGS, THOSE WERE THERE AND ARE VALID AND DESERVE TO BE EXPLORED.) considering Vi and Jinx's interaction just before, Jinx's obvious suicidal ideation and Vi's unexplored trauma from her childhood spent in prison.

Same with Caitlyn being build up as a representation of someone who grew up privileged turning to generalised hatred and dehumanisation of others/"the other" when experiencing trauma (my phrasing is terrible but I'm referring to Caitlyn's turn towards oppression/fascism in response to her mother's death.) Caitlyn falls back into the exact same way of thinking that she denied/judged for example collectively referring to Zaunites as "Animals" despite rebutting these same words when Ekko said the people of Piltover look down upon those of Zaun, as well as Caitlyn calling Vi's blood dirty/tainted saying Vi has the "same blood in [her] veins" as Jinx after Vi stopped Caitlyn from endangering a Child's life as well as hitting Vi first with a stray bullet and then with the back of her rifle during an exclusively verbal argument. All before ascending to the position of General of Piltover during Martial Law and enacting collective punishment, restriction in movement and expression via military checkpoints and guard patrols, revoking Zaunites' right of assembly and peaceful protest and imprisoning most ("half") of Zaun in Stillwater without trial. Piltover even had to built a railcar system to keep up with prisoner transports to Stillwater opposed to S1's boats.

All this was built up only to have Caitlyn turn back after only one interaction with Vi. Supposedly Caitlyn had begun to doubt/regret the excessive and oppressive Noxian measures but apart from one scene of her disagreeing with Rictus' (Ambessa's second in command) "incitement of violence" at the checkpoint but still supported and expanded upon Stillwater (the exact prison Vi was kept in, even keeping the guard who all but confessed to regularly beating Vi during her seven year imprisonment, he even says he does it so often he "never thought to keep count") and even threatened to use cells and methods she knows and agrees are morally reprehensible.

Caitlyn's deeds as General should have been shown to the audience not just summarised into a short montage only to be glossed over. Instead of a complex and very difficult but incredibly necessary and in the end beneficial look inward for Caitlyn, Caitlyn's time and actions as a semi-dictator were glossed over because Ambessa was simplified into a pure warmonger going so far as to attack her own daughter and even Caitlyn cheating on Maddie with Vi in the cell is portrayed as less morally complex since Maddie completely betrays Caitlyn going so far as to try to shoot her to side with/support Ambessa's war (despite Maddie talking about reestablishing the Council in S2 E4).

If we had been given time with Caitlyn during her "#lowkey-Fascist-Era" especially if we had seen her temper cool and see her kinder side shine in more scenes in which she opposes Ambessa as opposed to one scene expressing disagreement with Rictus and later Caitlyn agreeing to Vi's comments regarding Caitlyn "sidling up with [Ambessa]", then this development and CaitVi becoming a couple again would have felt earned and well-written.

Instead of a comprehensive follow-up to Season 1's themes we got a "But TeAmWOrk GuYs!?" the Oppressed and Oppressors put aside their differences because of the greater / "real enemy all along"ᵀᴹ without Zaun seeing any reparations/improvements apart from one single seat at the same council that has oppressed them for decades/centuries. (Sidenote Sevika was immediately side-eyed and judged and can just get overruled by the remaining Council. États généraux, yes you get a vote but only one)

Yet we end the season with Caitlyn and Vi having sped past their issues and (Vi's) trauma to have a final scene in front of Caitlyn's fireplace with Ekko being shown to grieve Jinx more and Vi proclaim being the "Dirt" under Caitlyn's fingernails (they supposedly worked on that line for 27 hours).

Just to clarify I'm not saying Vi doesn't grieve but it's about what's shown and especially what is given time and here a CaitVi scene was more important than a scene dictated to Vi and Jinx's bond as sisters which was/should be the focus of the series. I'll probably make another post at some point about the Sister's bond taking a backseat compared to the relationships in Season 2.

In the end we were told more than shown why characters acted the way they did. With many interactions and moments of growth only implied.

Arcane would've benefitted from more time, maybe even a seperate Season, spent developing the characters to their final state and to give the series the time to deal with both it's arcane (*wink*) and human themes. And the ideal timeframe for this was in-between S2 A1 and S2 A2.

Many characters feels as if the audience had read the first and third book of a series without the in-between. And entire plot-lines and core themes were dropped/abandoned.

If you're still reading, thank you and sorry I went off on a ramble in the middle there. Again I'm not saying the season was bad and definitely not that you can't enjoy it (I liked it) just that it had a few missed opportunities.

[macaroonff]

The photobooth- Park Sunghoon

Where two strangers, in their desperation and vulnerability, take a picture together. One to create a lasting memory, the other to remove the old one.

Genre: Strangers to lovers (kinda)

Pairing: Non-idol Park Sunghoon x gn!reader

Content warnings: Mentions of a breakup, mentions of enlistment, none imo

Word Count: 1.2k approximately

In his mind, what he would do next was stupid, extremely stupid. Park Sunghoon stood solemnly in front of this hole-in-the-wall photobooth he travelled past on the way to uni. He wasn't sure what exactly led him here- whether it was his desperate need to capture a memory, or whether he was driven by pure insanity. He knew a few things had changed since the last time he stopped by. His hair was shaved short, military style as was required of him. There was an increasing sense of foreboding of the future. His heart had never felt this heavy before. Not even when he almost didn't get into the university of his choice. He was about to enlist- only that it didn't help that he'd be leaving in a week. He felt short on time, as the announcement barely gave him enough to physically or mentally prepare himself. His friends had suggested taking a cool polaroid picture for the sake of memories. For a keepsake for the man he was to become, and as a memory of the boy he would leave behind. His heavy feet therefore brought him here,to a last-minute decision after hours of contemplation. He draws the curtains of the tiny photobooth and hesitantly sits on the bench. Unfortunately for him, and to add to his embarrassment, he fails to notice the other person seated right beside him.

"Excuse me?" you squeak, surprised by the appearance of the man next to you.

Sunghoon is pulled out of his thoughts, and he finally acknowledges your presence. "Oh-" he can barely apologise as the click of the automatic booth interrupts you. He notices that he is captured in the second of the four films. Before he is able to process what happened, another click prints the third film. He jumps out of the booth in a second as you're left bewildered there. The bewilderment enthusiastically captured by the last film. As you look at your ruined pictures, Sunghoon find the need to apologise desperately for interrupting you. He peaks his head back in to the booth, in an attempt at apologising. Instead what he sees are teardrops falling down your cheeks, the films balled up in your fists.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, i really didn't mean to interrupt you," he rambles, "I didn't reali-" before he could finish you push past him, exiting the booth. Before you're able to get up again, you're wrist is tugged on by him.

"Let me pay for you, please. It's my fault, please don't cry" he begs. You're too scared to say a word. It really wasn't that deep for you, or it shouldn't have been. it was just a set of photos that you could take again. Unfortunately for you, you'd put too much meaning into this set of pictures. It was after you saw your ex post a set of pictures with his new girlfriend, in the exact same poses he'd once taken with you did you feel the rage erupting from within. You'd come here to re-write or erase whatever that poor memory was. You'd just have to do it alone. It wasn't this stranger's fault for your outburst. In fact you were happy he disturbed your gloomy little photoshoot.

"I-," you look up to meet the stranger's eyes, his eyes ridden with concern. In that small moment of surprise, you didn't really realise how handsome he was. It led you to an idea, a pathetic and selfish idea, but one that'd make you feel better.

"In that case, can you take another set with me. I don't want to do this alone," you request, your voice small as you begin to fidget with your hands.

"W...Why?" Sunghoon asks taken aback. Were you also scared of taking a picture alone like him? Did you also find it pathetic to take pictures alone in a world where mainly couples come here? Why come here alone if you didn't want to do it alone?

"I want to make my ex jealous," you say bluntly. You don't look at him, afraid of judgement at your request. Instead, you hear a small chuckle.

"Sure, I don't mind," you hear the kind boy say. " I might need the company too right now."

You're curious by what his last statement means,but choose to follow him into the booth quietly. He drops some change into the booth, and then looks at you before he presses the button. You nod and move closer to him, knees grazing gently. The both of you seem awkward but try to smile nonetheless. A click disperses the silence briefly, before he puts his shaking hands on yours. "I'm actually enlisting next week," he announces randomly. You look at him in surprise. "I don't know what to say," you can barely reply, when he brings his arms around your shoulder, just in time before the next picture. "Yeah, this is probably my last picture before I leave," he turns to you, smiling at your surprised face. "Good luck," your eyes soften as you pose for the next one, putting out a "V" awkwardly. He follows you, a somewhat shy smile gracing his lips. "Let's do a silly one" he offers to which you nod enthusiastically. You stick out your tongue, a little shy as he winks at the camera, the set of pictures coming out after the last click. The two of you examine the set of pictures, the two of you looking somewhat confused

"I like it," he says. "You look cute in this one," he hands you the last two pictures. You smile, earnestly. Compared to what you expected, you looked happy. Happy enough for you to forget why you'd come here. You realised neither of you had budged an inch, and you didn't feel like leaving.

"I... thought I'd achieve some sort of petty revenge if I could look happier in these pictures than the ones my ex took with his girlfriend."

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, partly curious, partly in pity. His fingers gently rub against your palm. "In the thirty minutes I know you, I can say with confidence that you're too beautiful for the guy you're worried about. Don't fret it."

His words paint your smile wider as they sink into your soul. "Well, in the thirty minutes that I know you, I think you're so brave and kind that I wish we'd met sooner," you confess.

His smile now mirrors yours as he finally holds out his hand for a handshake. "I'm Sunghoon, by the way," he introduces.

You shake his warm hand, your palms tingling as they meet. "I'm y/n." you reply. After what seemed like an eternity, the both of you finally get out of the cramped booth, the chilly evening wind caressing your face. Sunghoon graciously waits for you to leave first, his eyes following you until your back fades into the city. The encounter felt bittersweet, more sweet than bitter as part of his solemn heart dissipated with the wind. He examines the first polaroid set left with him, where your initials are scribbled hastily at the back. He places it in his pocket, with the realisation that he had a new person, a new memory to bury into his wallet.

[dear-ao3]

hi it's me the person from like a week ago who's writing that college paper about f1 i was gonna respond and then i immediately forgot lol. the paper is on the different media strategies and narratives of the fia, teams, drivers, gp locations, etc, and how they interact with each other. and also how the ways liberty media and the fia are marketing the sport and drawing in new fans is actually alienating people and suppressing the authenticity of the sport. especially post drive to survive.

i'm a comms major lol i am a massive public relations nerd

also a couple questions: idk how well versed you are in business stuff but how would you say f1 has changed its branding, especially pre liberty media to now? and how were drivers marketed before the era of portraying them as like,, pop stars? when was that shift? also if you have any specific examples (or places i could find examples) related to that stuff or sexism in f1 or just how f1 tries to control the narrative i would appreciate it because jesus christ the lack of research is terrible

ok dump over the essays not due for another like 3 weeks but when its done i can send it to you if you want to read it :)

aaaaa this got lost in my ask box i hope i’m not too late posting it :/ unfortunately i have no real sources for you. i know the shift was post drive to survive, but i think it also depends on the country because like f1 hasn’t really been a huge Thing in the us, but like ferrari has been italys second religion for years. so it might make sense if you focused it on a country. like in the time since dts first released they added two more us gps: miami (2022) and las vegas (2023). i know there’s a lot of british bias, especially by sky sports and sometimes in the penalties as well. i think fernando alonso called that out this year (?) and max also usually mentions it a few times (at brazil this year he definitely called out the british press) i know there’s also interviews of drivers saying post dts people recognized them way more (maybe this was daniel? or lando?) but some of them really like it (daniel) and some of them don’t (like max) you could also play the angle from social media, like george used to i know at least run his own twitter way back in the day (might have been pre f1 but i think he was still running it loosely in 2019 or at least tweeting himself) and now he doesn’t really touch social media At All cause of the comments he gets. lando used to run most of his own social media also until i think like 2020? 2021? (as in i don’t think he had a social media team) before he passed it off to someone else, though i know he still goes on for sure. i think a lot of them definitely cleaned up their media presence post dts (like lewis was certainly a pr nightmare at one point earlier in his career which a lot of people don’t realize or remember and we’re not even going to talk about fernando alonso). the sport has gotten more tame for sure over the years, they used to get away with doing and saying way more but that could also just be a general cultural shift, there’s also i know pockets of people who are like oh this sport used to be so respectful and manly and blah blah blah and like. there’s photos of michael schumacher at a party in a wedding dress. david coulthard used to pretend to kiss his teammates on the lips in front of the cameras. as for sexism, there have been female drivers before, usually only doing short stints. i know susie wolff has talked about this with the f1 academy how pretty much only lewis consistently shows up to support it. i think max (?) said earlier this year that academy is great but if they want them to make it to f1 they need to give them faster cars. there’s also the whole horner fiasco from earlier this year.

idk if any of this is useful. or if you’ve already turned in your paper. in any case, good luck :)

[ohcorny]

How did you first initially get into the professional graphic novel scene? Was it difficult getting ppl to take a chance on your writing/stories and could you talk about it a bit?

wibbles my hand? i probably had it easier than most people. first of all i'd been doing a fairly popular webcomic for like. six-seven years when an agent cold-called me to offer representation, and asked if i had any graphic novel ideas. hunger's bite was but a tiny twinkle in my eye so i started developing it.

(and then covid happened and i got a storyboard job and also eventually fired that agent but still kept developing hunger's bite)

shortly after firing that agent, and after trying to query traditionally with no real luck (though i think i only queried 3-4), there was an event on twitter called #DVPit which was basically: you'd post the elevator pitch of your story + some art, and agents would look in the tag and like anything they were interested in representing. so once the event was over you'd reach out to them with the full pitch and meet to talk about it and if the vibe was right, you'd sign on with them. i think i had 5 agents show interest, and i contacted 3 who felt like they could be a good fit, and then signed with the one i liked best. (i do not think #DVPit exists anymore for obvious reasons)

after that it was her job to send the pitch out to editors, and i think it was maybe in the second or third wave of submissions (ie, a few months) where i had 2 editors who were interested. they made their offers, i went with the one that had a bit more money (and apparently got a Really good deal) and that was that

like Looking Back, i think i had it easier than people who struggle for years to get noticed. it didn't feel that way at the time, waiting months for rejections, but now that i'm through it, it's less daunting. the main issue i would run into was finding someone who understood the vision and didn't want to change it. there was a lot of 'this would probably be better as a middle grade!' but i didn't want to take the teeth out of it.

iunno! overall i think art and comics is one of those spaces where it's like. you know at a glance if you're interested in it, or if the artist is competent. i've done slush pile with comics, it's very 'you know it when you see it'. i imagine it's the same with acquiring editors.

i fortunately have a style with broad appeal :y so it might just be easier for me on that merit

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

Euphemia and James - Writer's Notes

Earlier this year I wrote a fic titled "Euphemia and James," a story exploring Euphemia Potter and infertility. This is the most deeply personal story I've ever written, and it took a few weeks to write it because of the emotions it stirred up for me, but honestly, being able to write this took years of processing emotions. I decided to share some of my notes on this fic in this post, and it includes this lovely cover image from @livelaughlovetoread. This story is also unique in that it's written in second person POV. It wasn't intended to come out that way, but that's how it came out. See below the image for my notes:

Euphemia and James came from these lines from the extra-canonical writings on Pottermore/whatever they call it these days:

"[Fleamont] sold the company at a vast profit when he retired, but no amount of riches could compensate him or his wife Euphemia for their childlessness. They had quite given up hope of a son or daughter when, to their shock and surprise, Euphemia found that she was pregnant and their beloved boy, James, was born."

If you don't know anything about infertility, I envy you somewhat. Studies have shown that a diagnosis or experience of infertility is similar to receiving a cancer diagnosis or losing a close loved one. It took me a while to realize that a lot of the feelings I had surrounding infertility was actually grief and mourning.

So, I put it all into this fic. There are a few points I want to highlight, if you decide to read the fic or want to see some lines, and my feelings around it all:

"When you meet Fleamont Potter a year into your job at the apothecary, you have no intention of marrying him."

I more or less shamelessly wrote Euphemia and Fleamont's relationship to be similar to mine with Mr C. In fact, Mr C aka @rawr-gorg-smash read this work and we were both sobbing messes by the end of it.

"It will happen when it happens, they say. It will come when you least expect it, they say. That’s what everyone says, and you’re ready to punch the next person in the face who tells you to just “relax.”"

Infertile people will get advice like this frequently. It's meant to be helpful or sometimes soothing, I think, but all too often it's an empty hope. Sometimes, bodies just don't work right, no matter how much relaxing you do.

"It’s not polite to ask. Everyone knows where magical, adopted children come from. They are Muggleborn children who are delicately extracted from their birth homes and replaced with Squibs, or sometimes not replaced at all."

This part is world building by me - the idea of adoption in a magical world seemed odd to me. How would infertile magical couples adopt if they can't use potions or charms? I wouldn't put it past them to just take a Muggleborn child, modify memories, and go. I won't touch on real world adoption-there's a lot to unpack there-but this idea gave me some thoughts on magical adoption.

"It seems selfish to want more, when you already have so much. You question, for the first time in your life, if you really want a child."

I have heard people say things to this effect: it's so selfish to want your 'own' children or to want children and bring them into this world, or some variation of that. If this is what you believe, you and I are going to disagree and I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise. But it's something I and many other infertile people have considered. The thing is, people have had children and will continue to have children throughout terrible periods of time. Does it make sense? Not necessarily. Human actions don't always make sense. To me, though, it speaks of hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, for a world that we will build that will be better for the next generation.

"Now you wish for a living child. There are no longer any expectations on your baby or the kind of person they’ll be. You want a living, breathing baby in your arms you can dote on, educate, feed, and guide through life."

I'll say that one of the few silver linings of infertility for me has been re-grounding my expectations of what kind of child I might have. It once was wishing for a boy or girl, or a kid who likes to read, or a kid who won't be into extreme sports, but now it's just a kid I want. I want to love them because they exist. That's all.

"It’s a shame that you only got nineteen years with your son, the one you wished had been born twenty years prior, so you could treasure twice as long with him."

One of my fears for having children later in life is not having enough time with them. Then again, young parents die. Even children die. If nothing else, whatever time I do have, I hope I use it to love whatever family I have to the fullest.

That's all I have for now. If you made it this far, read the fic, commented on it, left kudos, or a bookmark, thank you very kindly for your time. Of all the things I've written, this felt most like putting a piece of my heart into the world.

[daddywright]

Hey there Jazz. I'm such a big fan. Pressure verse remains one of my fave fics ever. I've always been curious about how you portray and see Phoenix. Is it something unique on Pressure verse that Phoenix lies so bad that anyone close to him can read him easily? Versus Canon that many people either have him that he's just good at hiding his thoughts because the game just expresses to players his thoughts? Or he is still the same emotional man but is so awkward and his acting in theater makes him good at pretending? Because he's so evasive about anything himself. Pssst. Any also any hint of next update? Hehehe.

Hi hi!

Wow, so I had to take a second to think about this question. In its DNA, Pressureverse is a 'In Want of a Nail' story - the joke of 'what if Phoenix got therapy post-Dahlia' explored with narrative consequences. As a result, the Phoenix that takes shape over the course of the adjusted plot is one that-- while certainly not smoothed of character flaw or mentally prime lol-- has learned that even if he doesn't believe that his troubles or concerns should be shared (for arrogant or trauma-related reasons), he has learned that he likes and needs the support he receives from other people who take notice. In a way, the joke about his being a bad liar is evidence to progress in his relationships that diverges meaningfully from canon. He's a character that's not capable or willing to ask for help in many ways, but in Pressureverse, at least, he's begun to "telegraph" through chosen lies when he has needs. It's a changed indicator of his mental health, but it's a character flaw I gave him intentionally, because to make Phoenix a "bad liar" was an indirect way of writing the other characters-- particularly female characters-- as BETTER listeners. A lot of characters in Ace Attorney often share one major trait, and that's perception/emotional sensitivity, but only when narratively convenient for a video game sometimes. But in writing, or in Pressure at least, the key relationship is Phoenix and Maya's. Phoenix is a frequent liar who IS capable of lying well, but to people who know him, even when he's not half-assing it, they would learn to pick up on it. Why wouldn't Maya be sensitive over time to who he is, and when he's struggling?

Basically, Phoenix being a "bad liar" is a trait that is altogether a bit, intentional character development/canon divergence, and biased based on the POV character of the chapter. (Ex. Characters like Edgeworth and Klavier wouldn't describe him as a bad liar, but a lot of the other more sensitive characters in his life would!)

Sorry for how lengthy this was! As for an update, I'd cross my fingers for after the holidays... right now, I'm working on a Metal Gear Solid fic ;)

[aspionagee]

First off-- I'm a HUGE fan of your writing, you have no idea how stoked I am for the next installment of A Patchwork Family. I was never a fan of severitus before I came across your fic by chance but your writing is so good it turned me onto it.

I was wondering if you had any severitus fic recs? I saw you post something about crime and punishment and gave that one a read (SO good), and since it seems you have incredible taste to go along with your incredible writing skills I was hoping you could help me out 💚

Thank you very much for the question! I actually have a ton of fic recs for Severitus, and I've been meaning to make a list for a while, so in no particular order here it is!

1. A Year Like None Other by aspeninthesunlight

This fic is also very special to me, and directly inspired A Patchwork Family. Snape ends up adopting Harry and Draco during their sixth year. It was written before the sixth and seventh books even came out, so there's a very fascinating plot!

2. To Trust by Clairdeloon

This one has a runaway Harry being sent to live with Snape after the Dursleys die before his first year. If you like angst this is the one to go for; it hurts so much but it's so worth it.

3. Time Left Today by gzdacs

After the situation with Quirrell, Harry is wanted by the Ministry for questioning. Snape is forced to transport him across Europe to hide him (with things progressively going more and more wrong!). Very enjoyable fic

4. Tension's Empathy: The Wanderers Curse by yarrowmirth

Another "Harry and Snape on the run" one, set after fifth year. I particularly enjoy how long it takes Snape and Harry to warm up to each other! It's also criminally underrated. I check so often for updates you have no idea

5. Grease & Lightning by Mothboss

Would highly recommend this and its sequel, Acid Reigns. Features Snape semi-accidentally acquiring eight-year-old Harry(with some of the best, age-accurate writing of a child I've ever seen). He takes on a protective big brother role and it's so perfect! Acid Reigns also uploads every Tuesday without fail, which I always look forward to

6. obscured by illisius

A recent fic discovery for me, where Obscurial Harry is sorted into Slytherin and Snape has to help him. I am rarely in this much pain when reading a fic, oh my god. The ANGST. It's just so perfect, and I'm so excited to see what's coming next for the universe!

7. The Potions Master and his Golden Boy by HazelEyes25

If you like your Severitus slowburn, this is the one. During Harry's second year, Snape slowly goes from Harry's mentor figure to guardian. It's full of lots of nice hurt/comfort!

8. aim & ignite by shostakobitch

The only biological father Severitus on this list, and HEAR ME OUT! Because if Snape turned out to be Harry's biological parent, this is EXACTLY how it would have gone down. Snape is perfectly canon; he is the horrible, snarky and cruel man from book canon even as he learns how to be a caring man to his child. Such a hard balance to strike, but it is done PERFECTLY. It also features Girl!Harry which I very rarely see in Severitus. With the beautiful prose thrown in on top, all I can do is beg you all to give this a go! So worth a read!!

9. O Mine Enemy by KirbyLane

This is a classic! I've not read it in a while and it's next on my reread list. Again, very good characterisation. Both Harry and Severus feel very human. Takes place during fifth year, and switches up canon a bit which I always like!

10. Crime and Punishment by Melolcatsi

Just in case anyone else didn't see the Crime and Punishment rec, I want to still put it here. This is one of the first Severitus fics I ever read, and it's so very special to me! Harry gets sent to live with Snape in the summer after fourth year when he is falsely accused of stealing. Snape's characterisation in particular is stunning

I could keep rambling on for hours, but this is essentially my top ten! I hope you all enjoy!

[birdon14]

Forgot to update. This is what happend on November 3rd and 4th, a few days after the callout. (This will be a long one) He reacted and panicked after finding out, the artist he looked up to is a good friend of mine. That friend drew me, my bestie and them together. He then decided to '''''apologize''''', but notice how he can't take any responsibility and points fingers at his sockpuppet account?

Blackwargreymon2003 is the same name of his oldest deviantart account. And the way they both write is identical. Yes, he really thinks I'm that stupid.

oh never said homophobic things huh? explain the reddit comment from my last post then dumbass

Most of these messages were written overnight, but that's not all. M a n, he wrote me even on Youtube too. Trying to play a different person. But it was so obvious that it's him , because his interests were always written on his usernames. For example, Spore and Digimon. The username 'epic7448' was his second account on deviantart. He keeps talking to himself.

After his pathetic apologies and kept ignoring him for hours, all I had to write was one sentence to make him delete his main account. I basically told him that I will tell everything he did to me, to my friend he looks up to. I have no proper screenshot of it, because he deleted his main not even a minute after I send my message.

So yeah, he completely lost it after that. Created a new account, to keep harassing me. His apologies mean jack shit lol And then he drew me with a CAWK😩 in my mouth on his private twitter and brags about it on his side account

Funniest thing is: he send me blob links. I'm not even able to see them or convert them in any ways LMAO. This idiot can't even send proper links xD

and finally, the last messages he send me came a few days later on my twitter callout: And hey buddy, maybe...just maybe.... a 14 year old is allowed to dislike nsfw stuff because SHE IS 14, A CHILD

So anyway, most of his accounts on Bluesky are deleted. Simply reported them and waited. All I had to do is writing one sentence to bring him into a downward spiral. 'Oh the consequences of my actions!'

So yeah, stay away from Gomogora or whatever name he's trying to rebrand himself with. Appearantly his youtube account changed to the name 'Riki'. Sorry for posting another weird post. This will be the last time I will adress him. I just thought it's funny how he reacts and you all can be asure, that his words mean absolutely nothing and simply block him.

((And sorry for anyone waiting for more art. I have been sick lately and have to study ;-; Let's hope I'll be able to post more on December!))

Alright, I'll warn my followers and fellow Kirby anime fans here too.

I'll delete this post later.

Beware of the Newgrounds user Gomogora (DeviantArt: Gomogora534)

This guy harassed me for 3 years.

You can read more detail on my twitter, but let me show you the unhinged drawings he made about me and the messages he send me:

warning: bloody/violent images, slurs, homophobia

This year, he drew my persona killed and did a bizarre hate art directed at my 'headcanons'. Dude is pissed simply because he thinks I hate Metaknight?

And here just recently gave me glorious message on Bluesky, containing all kinds of slurs and insults. This was on October 24th. He actively looked after me on his new accounts just to insult me and block me right after like a coward. The darkveemon account got deleted, but his main account is still there. (He has an interest in Digimon so that checks out as well.)

Another unhinged message under my reddit post back from August 2023:

He pretty much acts like a snake around people he's friendly with. Once you are one of the people he decides to hate on, he spews all kinds of slurs and insults at you. If he acts LGBT-friendly, remember that these are the texts he messaged me, an open lesbian. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, every time he drew Sirica, he always has this need to dunk on my headcanons lol. Appearantly my Sirica headcanons are all just about being crazy and hating Metaknight lmao

so yeah, those are the most important informations I need to share. Do not harass him back, just be cautious if you ever run into him and block him. I reported him on NG, he got a warning and one of the first images got deleted by NG self (the one with sprites got deleted by Gomogora himself, a few days earlier). Thankfully, he doesn't have a tumblr as far as I know.

It's best to stay away from him. That's all.

There are more informations I could share, but I don't think I need to repeat everything from my twitter thread:

https://x.com/ManniBirdon/status/1850981553196974496

[jeding-png]

Hello! I saw your comments about chapters. I'm really interested about your opinion. In chapter 153 Derrick and Yvonne are talking. Between it's scene with three flowers.

It's interesting that blue flower (rose ??) is close to pink one than to darker pink flower. Which symbolise that Derrick (blue flower) (he even has dark blue flower in his suit) is closer to Yvonne (pink flower) than to Penelope (dark pink flower). We know that she use a manipulation and dark magic but that's not important. Can it be foreshadowing that Derrick "betrays" Penelope ?

I'm interested about your opinion!

Wow! Thank you for your comment and quite an interesting topic to discuss! :D

Actually, a few weeks ago I was planning to do a separate post about how SUOL-nim often leaves details in the manhwa, and it was about these flowers too (then I was too lazy to write, lol).

I can't say for sure if you've read the novel or know some parts, but I'll try to speak only based on the manhwa to avoid sudden spoilers! All the more, it will be interesting to see what hints are already left to the readers ^^

Firstly... I thought it was actually Derrick, Reynold, and Penelope—... but your observations are quite valid and also interesting!

And that is why let's consider both options~!

We first saw these flowers in chapter 105 during a conversation between Penelope and Derrick.

Derrick's office has space, nothing superfluous, everything in a strict style, and dark/cool colors. The only things that catch our eye because of their colors and more attention in the art are these three flowers and the cage with the bird.

You rightly point out that we see these flowers again in chapter 153 during Derrick and Ivonne's conversation. That is, they appear in a conversation with both daughters of the duke, who have different moods and goals, but Derrick's attitude towards both of them is revealed.

1) Derrick, Reynold, and (og?)Penelope.

The blue and pink flowers are Derrick and Reynold respectively, and the crimson flower is obviously Penelope. Interestingly, Penelope's flower is full of additional details unlike the other two, giving the impression of a crystalline material.

Blue and pink flowers stand looking at the sun's rays, but in different directions. However, their different paths, different views, and characters don't prevent them from standing next to each other, with their backs to each other.

The crimson flower stands in the shade, separated from the other two flowers. Tbh I associate it more with the Original Penelope and the situation that existed for six years.

And again, during the conversation in chapters 105-106, Derrick does not say that he does not care at all about Penelope. In his own way, he shows concern. He softened when Penelope was upset about the position of Eckles, said that he wanted to get Penelope out of prison with his methods. Because he is also responsible for her.

But Derrick can not understand Penelope and does not always listen to her words. And his feelings are different from those towards Ivonne.

Still, it's in the next chapter (or 156) that you will notice one important change.

2) Derrick, Penelope, and Ivonne.

Kind person, your words made me look at these flowers in the context of chapter 153 differently!

This fragment of the conversation was shown to us earlier than it was in the novel... and in a certain sense I approve of such a decision on the part of SUOL-nim.

Not just so I could see Derrick's nice suit, of course, hehehe~

Okay, back to the position of the flowers! In this context, all the flowers look in different directions, similar to the previous one, however-!

The blue flower is close to pink, yes, but it's like... hesitation? Derrick, unlike his father and younger brother, didn't want to believe until the last that Ivonne wouldn't return home. No, it is better to say that she is dead. But his flower looks at none of the other flowers.

This chapter gives us a chance to glimpse some of Derrick's feelings. His pain, guilt, and cracked mask of calmness. He wants to believe that his sweet little sister is back. He didn't want Ivonne to suffer and be away from her family all these years, Derrick worries that she would feel sad during Penelope's coming-of-age ceremony.

But at the same time, he cannot completely ignore Penelope and his attitude towards her. He even looks at the bird, thinking exactly of the one to whom it should have belonged.

It's quite interesting that his eyes don't have that blue light that indicates brainwashing. It's no exception that Ivonne has already used the mirror shard on Derrick, but it's generally Derrick's most sincere feelings.

Does this foreshadow Derrick favoring Ivonne over Penelope? Quite possible. But it will not be a very easy choice, behind which there will be something deeper and... ambiguous.

Derrick will look back at Ivonne. Derrick will think of her as the Ivonne he lost six years ago. But this doesn't mean that Penelope doesn't occupy any place in his heart.

This doesn't mean that he will react indifferently when it comes to Penelope.

Still, I think that Derrick himself cannot fully understand what he feels. Has guesses, has doubts. The fact that he may be a wonderful heir to the dukedom does not mean that he will also understand from the first time why he reacts in one way or another.

Especially me. For example, I like to look for the reason for the actions of certain characters, and only then give a subjective opinion as to whether it sounds convincing or justifies the character. Sorry, Derrick, I understand you, but I can't justify it.

The fact is that the story is also based on Penelope's face. First, it forms the reader's attitude towards some characters. And I did not see in the novel that there was a scene that would make me say "No, Penelope, you think so, but in fact everything is completely different!"

The next chapter will show what step Derrick dares to take.

But with these details SUOL-nim really leaves us little hints. It's both interesting for those who read the manhwa and a pleasant surprise for those who read the novel.

Actually, I have pretty superficial findings and research, and I may not be saying everything that is on my mind... and I should have written about this before this long post, where there is a lot of water in the text—

But I really thought the topic was quite interesting for discussion, and maybe other readers or you want to add something! Thank you very much!! <3

[sentientcave]

Fuck-ass Mohawk

Contains: Alcohol, smoking (cigarettes and cannabis), Soap being Soap, Ghost being Ghost, uninvited touching, tall fem reader

Short little thing about Johnny liking it a bit when you're a bitch to him (And Ghost likes it too)

868 Words ~ MDNI

You’d rather stay home and play board games, but Laurie had convinced everyone that it was a good night for clubbing. You hated clubs— The noise, the crowds, the smell of sweat and alcohol and hormones— and spent the better part of club nights standing outside chain-smoking, or crammed into a dirty bathroom stall holding back a friend’s hair as she threw up blue curacao because she didn’t listen to you when you told her to eat dinner before going out. Tonight didn’t look like it was going to end up with anyone puking their guts up, at least. Laurie’s flirting with a gorgeous hunk with a devastating smile, and Alex and Hannah are dancing, so you go out the side door into the alley for some fresh air. Or air, anyway, since the alley’s where folks go to smoke. You light a joint, because at least that will dull the effect that the sound is having on your head. It’s getting close to midnight, which at least means the night is almost over, so long as someone doesn’t drag you along to some weirdo’s house. “Hey, wha’s a bonnie thing like ye doin’ out here all alone?” A voice purrs in your ear. You jump, surprised that he could get so close with out you noticing him, especially once you turn and really look at him. He’s huge, not that tall, probably your height when you’re not wearing boots (You have about an inch and a half on him in your shit-kickers), but broad and way more muscled than anyone has any reason to be, wrapped in a too-tight shirt, and smiling at you, bright blue eyes fixed on yours with unnerving intensity. He pats your shoulder. “Didnae mean to scare ye, lass, just wanted to say hello.” You take a big step to the side, establishing a new bubble of personal space without him in it. “Well, hello,” you say dismissively. “Goodbye.” There’s a snort from a few meters away, a big fellow with a kn95 mask dangling on one ear, his hand up in front of his face, a cigarette clamped between his fingers. “Och, dinnae be like tha’, hen.” “Don’t like it?” you ask, glaring at him. “Go away. Plenty of girls in there’ll go for whatever all this is.” A sweeping, unimpressed glance from his boots and ripped jeans up to his stupid mohawk would usually do the trick, but it only made this fellow smile wider. “No’ enough fer ya? I can sweeten tha deal some. The big fella doesnae mind sharin’ a sweet lass with me noo and again. There’s plenty of ye ta go around.” “Johnny,” the big fellow in question says sternly. His mask is back in place, covering the lower half of his face. “Dun’t look like she’s interested.”

“Tha’s where you’re wrong, LT. She just doesna want to admit it. Hen’s got pride. Wants to make me work for it, right lass?” He winks at you. “No. Don’t like your fuck-ass mohawk.” You puff on your joint, keeping your face still while he splutters, indignant. “Fuck-ass mohawk?” he asks. “What do ye mean by tha’?” “I mean it looks like you have a contentious relationship with your father,” you say. Maybe you’re being a bit mean, but it’s always fun to take a cocky fucker down a peg or two. “I don’t fuck with men with daddy issues. Most of ‘em are cops or military lads.” The big guy— LT?— laughs aloud at that while Johnny’s still looking at you with his mouth hanging open. The side door opens, and your friends pile out, Laurie arm in arm with her hunk, and Hannah and Alex clinging to handsome fellows of their own. “There you are,” Laurie says. “We’re going back to Hannah’s. Are you coming?” “Uh. I guess.” Laurie beams at you, and looks up at her hunk. “Kyle, do you need to find your friends?” “Nah. These lads right here.” He gestures at Johnny and LT. with a grin. “Knew Ghost would be out here, and Soap’s always followin’ him around like the big puppy he is.” “Ah’m no’!” You fall into step at the rear of the group. You’ll probably head home rather than join them, but Hannah’s flat is on the way to your own. Johnny and his handler flank you, matching your stride when you slow down or speed up. Annoying. “So what, is the big guy your replacement daddy?” you ask. “Wha— No!” Johnny says hotly. “He’s just my lieutenant.” “Could be your daddy, if you like,” Ghost says, putting a heavy hand on the back of your neck. “Got a thing for caustic little cunts.” “Oh fuck off,” you say, trying to shove his hand off. His grip squeezes a little tighter, and you try to ignore the way that core clenches around nothing. You channel the heat into anger, and dig your nails into his wrist hard. “Don’t fucking touch me.” He grunts, but doesn’t seem all that affected by your claws. “Look at you, ‘issin’ and spittin’ like a puffed up alley cat. S’cute. But save it for later, eh? Don’t want you to tire yourself out too early.”