#this is the most non-issue i've made a big deal out of so far...

[anonymous-person-in-hellhole]

Okay, I wanna vent about me...

Despite my simp-etude for Clotted Cream Cookie, I don’t follow tags that mention him online anywhere. The reason for this is that I have an immediate reaction of pain whenever I see anything that involves him and any other Cookie...

Can you see how toxic that reaction is?

I don’t interact with the same people who like the same fictional character, because my fee-fees get real fucking hurt when they enjoy this fictional character that I like too, because they’re enjoying it the way they want to...

I... am so annoyed about this...

[setaripendragon]

So I'm still on this daemon AU kick, and I can't stop thinking.

What are the limits?

It's generally accepted that a daemon is an animal representation of the soul, right? So, you know, we've got birds and mammals and reptiles and insects.

But what about fish?

Obviously there's an issue here of, you know, environment, and if your soul literally can't survive in the air while you literally can't survive in the water, there's a problem.

But, hey, if it's small enough, you could have a little fishbowl for your daemon to live in. Hamster ball, but filled with water, rolling along at your heels. Fishtank on wheels that get tricked out like dudebros soup up their car. And maybe, if you're from a particularly sea-faring culture/lifestyle a water-bound mammal like a dolphin or an orca could make sense. And then there's things like sharks, which have so much symbolism attached to them that it seems a real shame to have to rule them out. (Someone who's particularly driven or ambitious having a daemon that would literally die if it stopped moving is a bit of symbolism I'm going a bit feral for, tbh.)

I think we have to rule out the deep sea creatures, unfortunately. Fishbowls and/or living on a boat wouldn't really solve the problem of pressure, and someone with a blobfish daemon would, uh... be in trouble.

And if we're talking about things that can't survive in the same atmosphere as humans, what about internal parasites? Like flatworms. I think it's safe to say that having your daemon parasitizing your intestine kind of defeats the purpose of having an external manifestation of your soul, but... There are species of flatworm that aren't parasites, so... do we just rule out all flatworms, or are the non-parasitic ones okay?

And speaking of flatworms, what about size? I've read some fun stories that deal with the issues that might come from having, say, an elephant daemon. It's not quite as dramatic as the issues of having an aquatic daemon, but actually, similar adjustments would have to be made to your living situation to cope. But, of course, it could be done and I don't think anyone's trying to rule out animals on account of how big they are, but I think it's safe to say that microscopic daemons are out for the same reason that internal parasites have to be.

There's a nice solid rule I can settle on; a daemon has to be a visible animal.

And, in point of fact, I think it's safe to say it has to be an animal. We can rule out trees and plants and even fungi.

So what about coral?

It's an animal, and if we are allowing for some aquatic daemons, then should coral be an option? Or are its vibes too plant-like to qualify? Do we rule out sessile animals like we ruled out microscopic ones? As much as I find the idea of a coral daemon absolutely hilarious, I am going to come down on the side of animals that are too much like plants are a no.

So a daemon has to be a visible, mobile animal.

But what about the ones that only move very slowly? I don't think we're ruling out sloths, but in the continuing vein of torturing myself considering various aquatic daemons, there's starfish and sea urchins and hell, even most bivalves can move at least a little, right? (Correct me if I'm wrong, I haven't done that research yet.) And there's a lot of fun symbolsim to be had, there, I think.

And what about extinct creatures?

I think it's safe to say that mythical creatures are a no-go, unless this is a 'verse where those animals are real, (oh, boy wouldn't that confuse people in a world like HP where most people think dragons and unicorns aren't real, but people still wander around with dragon and unicorn daemons) so we can ammend our rule to visible, mobile, real animals, but could we go so far as extant?

If yes, that would have interesting world-building implications. Where's the cut-off point? Can we rule out dinosaurs because we don't/didn't have enough information for a daemon to settle into a form that wouldn't be technically mythical? But then, what about animals that go extinct within human history? What about all the people who had mammoth daemons or dodo daemons as those animals were dying out.

Would conservationists study daemon statistics to see if an animal has really gone extinct? Would an animal's extinct status get over-turned when a kid's daemon settled into that form? Honestly, I like this enough that I've convinced myself that, at least barring some very unique circumstances, extinct animals are not allowed.

So, it has to be a visible, mobile, extant animal. That can exist in proximity to humans.

Oh, and should probably add; visible, mobile, extant, and non-sapient.

You can't have a human daemon, or an elf or a dwarf or a fairy daemon even if they exist in that world, and if this is a 'verse with dragons who're more than just exotic magical animals, you can't have a dragon daemon. (Obviously, if your fairies are more like magical bugs than tiny people, then fairies would be a valid daemon.)

...I'm still on the fence about whether a daemon should have to be air-breathing or not. That kind of rule would still leave marine mammals available for the fun world-building of how people adapt to that kind of handicap. (...Do you think people with aquatic daemons would be considered disabled? Oooh, what about people with really big daemons? I mean, presuming such a thing is comparatively rare, people probably wouldn't be building schools with a mind to allowing elephants or giraffes to wander the corridors.)

Disclaimer! This is for my own creative process, and not intended to limit anyone else's creative flair. And, honestly, I'd love to hear other people's takes on what does and doesn't qualify for a daemon.

[bloodandhedonism]

RAPID-FIRE QUICK OPINIONS OF CITIES I'VE BEEN TO IN RECENT HISTORY

Rochester, New York (and other upstate NY cities in general) : Feels generic, but perhaps not necessarily in a bad way in this case. A resident said it's rare to see and live a place where kids still play in the front yard these days, so take as you will. New York, New York: What you'd expect these days. Allentown, Pennsylvania: Lots of industrial traffic as you'd expect, but cute town and good people. I made multiple and different kinds of friends here, which I consider very good for this sort of thing. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: Homey. Don't go too far west, though or you'll run into Pennsylvanians. Remember James Carville! Baltimore, Maryland: Cutesy, gives vibes of home. Funny to see products from businesses by people I grew up with in places there. Washington, DC: It really does try to be a commercial with everyone perfectly chosen from central casting. Bad vibes, avoid, avoid. Get out if you live there. Imperial capital though, what does one expect. Norfolk, Virginia: Military city as you'd expect, and by far the most "Southern" feeling city in this list. Interesting contrast between the attempted beachiness and the dominating military stuff. St. Augustine, Florida: The best city in Florida by far, but losing its soul over the years and I'm very worried. Flagler College students will be window dressing for the upscale middle-aged tourists coming there. Tampa, Florida: Genuinely horrible. Worst city on this list, one huge slum posing as a 'regular' city. Unfriendly people. Telling every other billboard is for a lawyer promising to get you big money. Bad sign of the future. Orlando, Florida: Better than Tampa I suppose, but leaning way too hard into being Red State America's family vacation Mecca, which will lead to issues for it in the future. This city isn't for me. Denver, Colorado: People there like me, at least one person recognized my face from before, and mountains are cool. Las Vegas, Nevada: Very middlebrow, which I don't say as a compliment. Seeing middle aged people in cosplay out in public in non-convention contexts was embarrassing. Only interesting bit was seeing where Balrog's Street Fighter II stage was IRL. Reykjavik, Iceland: Neat place. Felt like the USA but cold and barren, of course. Icelandics are a unique people, and a small part of me almost wants to classify Iceland with North America than Europe since the society just feels different from regular Europe. I always thought it was worth noting the tectonic plate cleaves through the island. London, England: Honest with itself in that it's big, very big, and touristy too, which for said honesty reasons I respect it. I liked it. British people really are the Americans of Europe. I shouldn't, but I like the UK. I will visit the midlands soon, so I hope to see a fun contrast. Brussels, Belgium: Also an honest city, in this case in that it's a transnational confederal capital for a lot of places. Mons, Belgium: Lovely. Friendly and great people. Taking the train to it and seeing the scenes of rural life reminded me of the countryside I'd see back home. Paris, France: Genuinely lovely, and my favorite city of this list. More cities should be like Paris. I didn't see or deal with any of the bad stuff I heard about it. Friendly people. I need to go back here. Frankfurt, Germany: Definitely generic. Lisbon, Portugal: Touristy because it's warm and honest with itself about it in that case, which is also fine. I like warm weather so I liked Lisbon. Warsaw, Poland: Likable. Quite a nice city, and Poles are a very welcoming people. (Be proud of your country, @aomitois.) A friendliness emanated from the city which I liked. Has an optimism which I find intriguing. Budapest, Hungary: Strangely, I was reminded most of Salisbury, Maryland with this one: there was an odd familiarity driving and walking through the city. Like with Warsaw, it's legitimately trying hard, but that makes sense for Eastern Europe in this era.

I'm sure there's more cities that can go on here, probably a lot more, but this is off the top of my head and the entry is big enough as is. COMING SOON: The Middle East and East Asia! Maybe Latin America. Africa is more likely than Australia. Watch as I wind up in Antarctica for some dumb reason.

[crystallinestars]

OMG I almost completed my response to you on my phone... then the Tumblr app refreshed and nuked it all. So sad 😿 No such thing as a too long response from you tho ! Your thoughts are always really interesting to read.

For real though, same with wanting to celebrate hahaha. Actually tomorrow I might go get myself milk tea🧋to mark the occasion hahaha. Let's celebrate this banner and Pride Month 😼

I figured that the lack of Kaveh in the banner was due to the whole Destroyer of Worlds thing, but to be over a year, it feels like overkill at this point. 😭 I guess I'll keep an eye out for any Nilou-related banner leaks, as that might signal Kaveh's return...

I'm so shook about those localization issues 😭 The masculine pronouns thing, that's a REALLY big mess up on the part of the translators!! I don't want to go full dunking on them or anything but it's really weird that such errors were made... And pushing the whole personal beliefs thing is really wrong... Like translating CN, JP to EN in a way that conveys the original nuance is definitely challenging, whyyy would they just toss in their own agenda as well...?

I wonder if CN->JP and CN->KR deals with any similar issues... I've heard that for some non-English, non-CJK localizations, the translation is first run through a second language and then the target language, which I feel really makes things even more murky. 🫠

Yeah when such fans make sexuality HCs, they fixate most on either exclusively gay or exclusively lesbian. Probably it's cos if they chose anything else, they feel that the possibility of their fave (or the characters in their fave ship) being shipped with the opposite gender is too threatening. Ofc they could have fun with these HCs and enjoy making them with their friends, but these days it seems like they aren't even having fun anymore and they're just using these HCs as a reason to get mad at + harass those who disagree with them...

And now that you mention it, indeed I don't think I've ever seen a straight HC ! It's as if they are too afraid to do this hahaha. Or like, they use the most stereotypical criteria to determine what is "straight" and what is not. Flashback to the Kaveh rant from before hahahah. Like these people are all about bringing down the binary+gender roles til it comes to BL stuffs then they are suddenly OK with the heteronormativity that they are supposedly against. 💀 But it is pretty weird that they try to grasp at anything to prove "not straight, not straight!" Like how come they can't just make their HC in peace without needing to aggressively prove things, without going sicko mode on people with different HCs? 🤨 As far as I know, I haven't seen people from our lil corner of Kavehnation the fandom attempt to storm some rando's post with the intention of going "no!!!! ___ should be with a [man/woman/etc]!!!!" Like we definitely have strong words about the state of things, but overall we're minding our own business without having to bug people who think differently from us.

Oh Mihoyo, look what you've created... I guess that in fandom, BL/GL stuffs tend to be most appealing for some reason. So they're able to keep around the most unhinged, rabid parts of the fandom because of the massive BL/GL ship pandering that they do... haizz.

The thing about toxicity in Chinese fandom is interesting!!! 😲 When you say that there are the fans who fight over BL and NL ships, is it like those old-school ship wars? Like "my ship is better than yours!!! 😡" thing minus the 2020s homophobia accusations...?

And you mention the Russian fandom!! This makes me remember when last year, I corresponded with a Russian Genshin enjoyer. She was pretty much exclusively into BL ahahah. But I think I've seen Russian Genshin artists who make NL stuff !

I've witnessed a bit of Vietnamese fandom, only on Twitter though and it seems that NL is decently popular. ScaraLumi in particular seems to be a hit with many VN fans, popular enough to warrant the creation of a zine (which I wanted to preorder but was too late for!! but I digress again)

It was a pleasant surprise to see that Aventurine has two popular NL ships ^^ I could def see AvenStelle becoming the next ChiLumi hahaha, I know that there was even an artist who iirc even drew a ChiLumi + AvenStelle thing cos to her they have such similar vibes/dynamics. And yeah I'm hoping that they don't try to tie Aventurine to Ratio and do the same pandering stuff that they did in Genshin...

And it's so unfortunate for Kaveh. 😞 It's the reason why people think of him as just "ship bait," cos of the way Mihoyo treats him, and then how the fandom treats him in turn...

I'm surprised by the number of NL ships for him though! I only knew about KavehLumi, Kavelou, Kaveh+Faruzan, and then from your previous responses Kaveh+Candace ! I didn't know that he's been paired with Layla too :o (Speaking of Layla, I've been getting into Alhaitham+Layla recently which is apparently rarepair 😪)

And OMG KavehLumi week!!!! I looked at the prompts, I could feel the gears turning and the inspiration cooking hahahah. I will see if I could do some writing stuffs for this (I wish I could do art too, but alas I have no art skill).

For Kaveh food, I'd like to do mostly writing stuff, be it just solo focus, with Lumine/Nilou, or with OC ! I would like to fully understand his personality tho, as I feel that I don't fully have a grasp of like... his POV I guess? I don't want to mischaracterize him. 😅 Like I guess for me, writing Kaveh would be easier compared to more brooding types like Scara, Xiao, etc. but still... And I'd also like to read more books so that I could find ways to improve my writing quality. I guess whatever food I end up cooking, it'll mostly be for the sake of writing exercise, although I'm hoping it would be at least sufficiently readable.

Big thanks for your kind words!!! So 4th member is Bennett. My lineup is now Layla, Faruzan, Scara, Benny. I'm a lot more satisfied with this team compared to my previous one because it feels like everyone serves a purpose and gets the job done hahahah. Like my previous team was just smashing and bashing everything with elemental reactions, but this new team utilizes mechanics like shields, supports, etc... I feel good hahahah.

Big thank you always for the interesting discussions and kind responses!!!! Hope you have a warm and peaceful day 🙌🏻

Welcome back 🍓Anon! So sorry to hear about tumblr deleting your text 😢 Maybe next time you could try typing it out on the notes app on your phone, and then copy-pasting it? I don’t think you have the luxury of saving your ask as a draft like I do.

lol go get that milk tea and get me a cup too! There’s a lot to celebrate this month already 😎

Yeah, the pronoun thing was a huge error on the translators’ part, but I don’t fault them for it too heavily. I don't speak or understand Chinese so feel free to correct me if what I say is wrong, but as far as I know, Chinese as a language is not as gendered as English is. A lot of the time you can only determine the gender of people based on context, and they often use gender-neutral terms.

This is something I saw someone else point out, so I can’t prove if this is correct, but in Chinese, they have a special gender-neutral term when referring to deities (that's why all the Aeons in HSR are referred to as 'they'). Going off of this, I can see how the translators could have gotten mixed up, or not have known the gender of some of the characters (mind you, this mistake was made long before Nahida and Arlecchino were revealed), so they defaulted to masculine pronouns.

I’ve seen English localizers push their political agendas in the anime and games they translated (ex: miss kobayashi's dragon maid), but I don’t think Hoyoverse’s translators fall into that category. Considering how popular Genshin is, I would imagine people would have pointed out long ago if there were huge discrepancies between English and Chinese dialogue. That doesn't mean the translators aren't including biases in their translations, we just don't know for sure. But if they are, then it's not as egregious/obvious as with Kobayashi, for example.

And you’re right, the translation for other languages all comes from a single language, which happens to be English. The gender mistake wasn’t found in CN, KR, and JP, but EN and all other languages had it. So it’s safe to say they use English as the baseline for the other translations (maybe there are some exceptions, but I'm not aware of them).

lol you are absolutely right about the hypocrisy of certain BL/GL shippers! They want to dismantle the binary and gender roles, and get upset at straight pairings for promoting traditional gender roles, but then use these exact stereotypes for their queer ships. If you call them out on their hypocrisy, they’ll claim it’s “better/more interesting” when it’s done with a gay pairing vs a straight one.

Heck, even in real life I’ve seen a male celebrity post an innocent photo of him and his wife online, and some comments were saying how seeing a straight couple is boring, and that gay couples are more interesting. Like damn, do queer people only exist as pure entertainment for them?

Mihoyo is definitely to blame for feeding into the delusions of toxic shippers, but I also have to wonder why BL and GL is so popular in the first place. BL has a huge market, and it predominantly consists of women. I did some research into why women in particular like BL, but to be honest, I still don’t get it. It’s not a mindset I can ever understand or relate to. Similarly, a lot of fujoshi can’t understand the mindset of women who like NL or self-insert, and so we get a lot of conflict regarding shipping.

There are as many outlooks on shipping as there are people in the world, and there will always be conflict. Ever since the invention of the internet, it became harder to avoid conflicting opinions since it's so much easier to find them now.

Regarding toxicity in the Chinese fandom. My friend never divulged any details, so I can’t say for sure, but I imagine ship wars there are as you described them. I have also seen some Chinese fanartists have similar grievances as us regarding BL baiting and delusional behaviors of fujoshi. It seems to be a universal thing.

VN fandom sounds heavenly 😭 omg.

Alhaitham x Layla is definitely cute! There’s an artist I follow that made some really good fanart of them (https://mobile.x.com/luckylalal/media). I also like Alhaitham x Lisa haha. I feel like every NL ship is a rarepair, barring certain MC ships. It’s just so dry in this fandom 😭 But whenever someone expresses how NL shippers have it rough in fandom, the toxic people come out of the woodwork to mock us, saying “The straights like to act so oppressed, but if they just go outside, they’ll see a ton of straight couples 🙄” and I just 🤦‍♀️. Because first of all, fictional ships and real life are completely different things! Second of all, not only straight people like NL ships. And third, bi and pan people in different-sex relationships exist too😩 But not in their eyes, clearly :/ But I digress.

If you write anything for Kavehlumi week, I will be over the moon! I would love to have a lot of content to share on my Twitter to spread the love! No pressure, though.

If you’re looking to get a better grasp on Kaveh’s character, I recommend his hangout if you haven’t done it already. I sometimes replayed it to remind myself of how Kaveh actually is, because the fandom's portrayal of him does him so dirty. The interdarshan event was also pretty good at showing his personality and values, so if you can find a youtube video of it, it might help.

As a word of advice from a fellow writer, the stuff you write is better than you think. You might write something and think it’s cringy or not good, but there are people out there who will love it and say it’s amazing. We are our own worst critic, but that doesn't mean others think the same of our work the way we do. So don’t be afraid to share your writing!

Your Scara has everything he needs, honestly. Two of the best buffers in the game, and the best 4 star shielder plus a healer. Congrats on having built your first proper team!

I'm glad you enjoy reading my thoughts because I enjoy reading yours too! You're very sweet, 🍓 Anon ☺️ I hope you have a great day yourself (no more sleeping for only 3 hours)!

[nathank77]

8/10/24

9:48 a.m

I was not the anon but I saw an anon on someone else's profile. Some of what he said really stood out to me.

'Appealing to cis people only gets you so far youre still always, "one of the transgenders."'

I once convinced myself I was cis gendered. I mean I identify more with male than transguy. I usually select male on gender, male on gender identity and non disclosed on sex. I think internal transphobia is much to blame on that and fear of what people will think or do to you.

Over the last year I've embraced my trans identity much more than I had even at the beginning. I'm sorta out. I wouldn't want to come out to my new family if I get a girlfriend bc of what they would think about me..

Often people had made assumptions about me bc they knew I was trans, like," oh so that's why he doesn't know how to cook on a grill. " or, "oh so that's why he isn't handy." Or, "now that I know I can kinda see it."- that's the most disgusting one. The one that makes me not want to tell people.

I am both out and inside the closet all at the same time. I kinda like having one leg out of the closet and the rest of my body in the closet. Why?

My family and all my old friends and everyone I grew up with will always know my dead name and that I wasn't born male. And the more people I tell the more people who will look for reasons why it's obv I wasn't born Cis gendered besides for the obv like my scars.

Beyond that though referencing this anon, I know that having friends who don't know could result in me finding out after a significant time in a relationship to only find out that they are transphobic and very against my entire identity.

I found that out with an online gamer friend who I had spent countless hours playing with. I brought up trans people and how they aren't freaks, and he said, "well umm they kinda are."

I wasted years playing with that guy. Years..

Then I think about John and how he only called trans people,"they," even when their only pronoun was he or she, I made it a big deal bc he didn't know i was trans. And I almost cut him off over it.

They is only acceptable if they want to be called they... I came out to him under the radar. I didn't tell him but I posted on my fb about it. Before that he since resolved the they them issue but if he did it again I'd disappear on him.

When you pretend you're cis you find out a lot of people are fucking nasty and talk to you very differently when they think you're cis too. Their whole jiggle changes when they know you're trans too. And that is both good and bad. Bad cause you wonder when you're out, are people just placating you bc they don't want to disrespect you outright (are they talking behind your back, "oh I can tell bc his smile is feminine.") Bc that's the worst part about being out. People compare you and pick out all the reason you're not really a guy.

Or you live under the Rader and find out half the people who you're friends with that don't know are actually transphobic. It's happened to me a million times and it makes me feel like I wasted every minute with those people.

Being trans is both beautiful and really sad. It's beautiful bc you get to be authentically you and ascende much adversity to get there but sad for 2 reasons:

1) you don't get to have a past- no baby pictures, no childhood photos, you missed out on half your life pretending to be someone you're not to appease everyone around you. All your old things have your birth name scribbled on it and you feel disconnected from your past. You scowl at your old photos and the way you used to look.

2) the worse of it is chosing, should I be out and know that the majority of people are shitty and will always see me as half a man. Or should I live under the radar and be as authentically me as I can and find out that half the people i meet at least will speak candidly to me and reveal they are monsters and I have infact wasted years of my life thinking they were a good person?

It's a battle I've been dealing with for a long time. I lived under the radar for a long time. And saw the ugliness of people.

Then I outed myself and also see the ugliness of people.

What's more ugly? Idk. I think it's that people are shitty and most aren't worth knowing...

I also think that even with the kindest of individuals who are cis are still looking for, "oh wait now I can see he wasn't born male.".....It's disgusting how candid people will be with you when they don't know you're trans bc they assume even if you're liberal or trans friendly they aren't hurting you.

I actually think it's more disgusting and more demoralizing to know everyone is thinking, yea his smile is kinda feminine....

I haven't figured out the right way to live....I feel as though I am more true to myself being in the closet. Only cause then Nathan is the only person people care about. They don't go looking for remnants of someone else who never existed.

[dreamwreaver]

And I'm sick of having to explain to people like you who insist on putting shit like this in the ship tags instead of letting me enjoy my non cannon ship why I ship it but fuck it, I will.

Point by point;

1. The most important fact is that they are in HELL. Yknow? The place bad people go? While I understand the point narratively that if heaven doesn't know what gets people in there it's likely very arbitrary and stupid, but NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON in the main cast who is a sinner didn't do something to be there. Alastor was a serial killer, Angel was from a mob family and both he and his brother Arakniss worked for the family business, Husk is a gambler who worked in Las Vegas and was likely involved in some of that underbelly stuff. Also, let's recall; HE WAS AN OVERLORD meaning, he also owned souls and consider, we're seeing him post being owned for a while. Odds are that he was likely just as cruel as Alastor can be if not more so. Additionally, while Alastor forces Husk to work at the hotel note that he doesn't do anything to him with his chains until Husk insults him. Hate to say this but Husk attempted to own the radio demon's soul so while it sucks he has no one to blame for willingly entering that bargain except for himself. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes

2. Chaggie doesn't get nearly as much shit from the shippers as you seem to claim it does. What it does get is thoughtful critique because a lot of us feel YALL are the ones who should be mad at how this ship was portrayed and aren't. I went into the series open, I knew chaggie was canon, and at most i thought I could enjoy the charlastor crumbs and the chaggie meals. But that's not what happened. Instead, the show decided to tell me that they don't care about this relationship so why should I? And it goes beyond the writing; on the casting sheets Charlie is mentioned to love "her girlfriend" and it's mentioned once. Vaggie by contrast is mentioned to be affiliated with Charlie no less than THREE TIMES. She has absolutely no character outside of Charlie which makes the relationship feel weak, especially when Vaggie's main role in the relationship is being the "practical" one whose every advice to Charlie is just some variation of "change who you are intrinsically to make your message more appealing"

Say what you want about Alastor, but the audience he brought her to finally gave her the self confidence to be herself without getting shit on for it. Vaggie, who supposedly knows so much about hell, didn't think to go to cannibal town as a test run for Charlie's advertisement for the hotel? As for real support? Ah yes, my girlfriend found out I've been lying to her for three years let me leave her alone to sulk while I tell everyone else. Then get mad at her for making a deal with the radio demon for the information to save everyone even though I ALSO made a deal with him to get a commercial made back in episode 1.

I'll give credit where it's due, at least the writing had Vaggie TRY to apologize for everything and Charlie was the one who cut it off because she can't stand the confrontation.

3. I have listened to whatever it takes. My opinion? It's weird, it's a weird song narratively because until episode 7 vaggie has no connection to carmilla. And as far as vaggie's part is concerned it's a less coherent "do it for him" from Steven universe. Seriously, dub that song over the footage and you can't tell the difference. But whatever it takes isn't the crux of the issue. I can forgive a lot of this stuff, but the thing that I cannot stand and demonstrates how little the narrative seems to care about Charlie and vaggie's relationship isn't that Charlie's a bad partner to vaggie, or that vaggie largely has no personality outside being "Charlie's girlfriend" it's that when it came time for the big duet between them; the core le motif of Charlie and vaggie's relationship; they did a reprise of more than anything. A reprise which several breakdowns have put at the bottom of the hazbin song lists.

Why? Why would you give the father/daughter song to the romantic couple? If you only had a minute to dedicate to this "central" relationship at least give them a song of their own. Or I'd have taken a reprise of whatever it takes because at least that's a vaggie centered song. And it's not like as so many people claim the shippers are "homophobic". Leaving aside the fact that a vast majority of charlastor fics actually do handle the topic of his asexuality/aromanticism with nuance and consideration and that even if charlastor were canon it would still be queer af, guess what one of my favorite ships of the last few years was?

THATS RIGHT LUMITY BABY! And what a conciseness, it's the same bisexual/lesbian woman ship. Except, and I can't believe I'm saying this, DISNEY DID IT BETTER. Take away the build up, take away the first two seasons. Leave yourself with only the third season comprised of only specials and it's STILL a more compelling relationship onscreen than chaggie got.

I don't hate chaggie, my frustration comes mainly from the fact that chaggie shippers deserved better than to have to do the emotional legwork of this ship when it's canon. And the other part? From people who decide to post their diatribes in the tags of the ship I enjoy for my own sake and then get mad when we respond. I don't have to tell you why I like charlastor, but I can give you a bunch of textual reasons. It's a standard romance trope of heroine and male villain, they're dark mirrors of one another, the "I can make him better/I can make her worse" angle, the fact that even Charlie in show admitted that he might not believe in her ideas but he supports her nonetheless and even if that's for his own designs it still matters because no one else bothered. I could point to the fact that Alastor had the opportunity of an afterlife when Charlie offered her soul to him for the information and he said no. All of that, but ultimately the reason I ship charlastor boils down to this;

I like it. I don't need a moral high ground reason to ship it. You don't like it that's your prerogative but you don't see me posting stuff like "chaggie is toxic and unbalanced" in the chaggie tag now do you? I like charlastor, a lot of people like charlastor. Deal with it. Block the ship tag in every platform. Filter it out of your ao3 searches. Put in the effort to avoid it if you hate it that much. Me? I don't hate chaggie, if anything what I feel is much worse; apathy. I don't care about them.

I always think everyone is free to shipp who they want, but in Hazbin I will never understand who puts Charlie and ALASTOR together.

This is so...sick

Alastor himself aromantic, asexual and above all an ABUSER of the worst kind.

The song Loser,baby places Husk as a loser enslaved to Alastor in the same way as Angel is enslaved to Valentino.

They can tell me all they want that "I can prove Charlastor can work" but the canon says otherwise and to see Chaggie get so much mud from these shippers is really frustrating.

At least Vaggie really thinks about Charlie, not manipulating her for his own purposes....

But then people ignore all those times when Vaggie has been OF REAL SUPPORT to Charlie.

This rabble who belittle Chaggie watched the show with their eyes closed and ears plugged.

Listen to Whatever it takes with your ears pls

[hajihiko]

god the idea of all of class 77 just having this weird special bond with eachother is so special to me 😭😭 i do wonder, though- given all of them are dealing with a LOT, and recovery isn't pretty, do you think fights/kind of lashing out would ever happen? if so, with who, and how do you think the group would handle that kind of stuff?

Oh for SUUUURE I dont go into it as much, because I too love people being special to each other and the sweetness of it, but these are messy people in uniquely messy situation so for sure they're gonna clash

Like, no WAY Sonia and Souda don't have a huge blowout at some point, maybe before anyone starts waking up even. Sonia deserves to have a moment where she just fuckin yells at him and lets it all out and makes him take her seriously enough to apologize and think about himself, and then they can continue being their own weird brand of friends.

Fuyuhiko still has anger issues, even though he's trying hard to be a kinder person, so he's definitely gonna have moments of snapping at people. I think he's a little too cowed to be arguing with Mahiru, but I could see him having it out with Hiyoko once or twice. I also think things might be a bit tense between him and Peko while Peko adapts to their new non-indentured friendship.

And yeah Hiyoko still has a major attitude problem and tbh, TBH, I think she deserves to get a little smack of "Not Acceptable" consequences. I think she might have a fight at Fuyuhiko, and OOF... Mikan. I think those two just need to be kept away from each other for a while after waking up, possibly the closest thing the group gets to repeating the murder part of the game. Mahiru employed to keep an eye on Hiyoko and Hajime keeping an eye on Mikan, shit probably gets real tense.

I think Impostor is... not NOT mad at Teru, but calm about it, so there's no huge fight, just cold shoulders and awkwardness.

And then there's Nagito. Yknow. Hes a whole topic in himself, I'd imagine Teru doesn't feel super warm towards him and there's the really bad tension between him and Hajime too. Hajime *would* sort of be keeping an eye on him, but. That's not good for Hajime's own psyche, so he is forcibly replaced by various others.

That's just already-established grievances. However, based on just. Unfortunate clashing;

Fuyuhiko has anger issues, Souda has some history of abuse. They probably need to find a balance there, where Souda never actually feels unsafe and Fuyuhiko manages to let out steam without being taken too seriously. He also might clash with and need to watch himself around Mahiru and Mikan.

TeruTeru gets sat the FUCK down and told that if he crosses people's boundaries, there will be Consequences. ESPECIALLY if he tries any shit with Akane or Mikan.

Hiyoko does not get to be Like That with Mikan anymore. She tries, just as a first reaction (her attitude is probably a defense mechanism and she does feel unsafe around Mikan), but it's not allowed to go as far as it used to. Not with anyone else either. Also Mikan probably needs to keep a distance herself.

I've talked about Mikan on her own before and the potential of her being s more complex case than the rest, on account that she might remember her entire time with Junko and not just gradual bits of it. If so, I made / am making the little Eye Yoink comic bits, which would probably be the most serious conflict. I'd just imagine that she's kind of .. generally unstable, and shouldn't be left alone with anyone too long. I kind of like the idea that she like.... well if she's the only one who fully remembers what things were like in school, that's already very alienating, and she might try to intentionally trigger other people's memories (maybe not even out of malice, just desperation and wanting someone else to Get It). But that might be a big problem for people who are just not ready to remember all that stuff. People who are already a bit grey on the moral spectrum (Fuyuhiko, Hiyoko, Peko) and people who have a hard time dealing with who they used to be (Nekomaru, Gundham, Sonia... kind of everyone tbh but some are better at compartmentalizing).

FSR I've just decided that Gundham is in a physically bad condition when he wakes up, and ofc Akane. That would probably be a bit rough to deal with, two people who base a lot of their self-worth on being strong (very different ideas of strength though). That's more of an internal struggle that might have some collateral damage but still. I can see them getting frustrated and lashing out at people like Nekomaru and Ibuki, who have obvious and abundant energy and are more okay with their unfamiliar bodies.

Ryota is just generally Anxious around absolutely everyone. Thankfully Impostor is very protective of him and takes good care of him, and people like Ibuki and Akane are quick to sort of forcefully adopt him, but I'll bet there's moments where he just locks himself in his room for a couple of days because Fuyuhiko yelled at him or Hiyoko called him a smelly shrimp boy or Gundham cursed him or something.

Nagito needs to curb The Way He Talks about stuff, at least a little, because it tends to send people dangerously close to to a bad place. He only wants what's best for everyone!...kinda? But he tends to just give off the opposite energy. Also boy needs to learn some self worth. So for his sake and everyone else's, he needs some mental assistance, but the person most qualified for that is the person that he clashed with the very most. I dont know what the solution to that is lol its probably an ongoing conflict

The good thing is, there's many of them! So I think whenever there is a big fight or a lot of conflict, someone can always step up for both parties and help keep the peace, without disrupting their routine too much. No one ever needs to be left out, at least.

[bobbimorses]

what’s your opinion on the impact fraction’s hawkeye run appears to have had on the more recent perception & characterization of clint? based off of the older comics i’ve read featuring clint, i sort of get the impression that part of the reason fraction’s run is so phenomenal is that his more depressed & defeated version of clint is so radically different from how clint has been portrayed in the past, yet given all that’s happened to him it’s reasonable of him to have reacted in this way. and since writers & readers are using fraction’s run as a kind of starting point for the character, then they miss how it was a progression and how his personality was very different in the past. but that’s just the impression i get. i would be very interested in hearing your thoughts!

i think i've given long rambling answers to the tune of this question before, but basically my thoughts align--when other writers/readers use it as a starting point, it ends up devoid of the context that made it so impactful as a story, and draws away from the fact that it's really a story of clint's depression.

a lot of the events and storylines experienced by clint one after the other for 8 years (which is like, just shy of 2 years comic time) were incredibly traumatizing. first, he dies in a ball of flames in disassembled, then he gets revived only to learn he's not the real deal and that his best friend killed him in house of m, gets killed again when he's taken apart piece by piece into nothingness, then he gets revived only to learn the avengers, his only family, are done for, then cap's killed, then he thinks bobbi's revived only to see her killed only for that to be a skrull--yeah. there was a lot going on. but the event directly before hawkeye v4, an issue of avx also written by fraction, has clint getting set on fire and burnt to nearly a crisp, with the avengers leaving him thinking he's dead.

so, like you said, given everything that happened, it's reasonable to see him finally reacting to all that mess, that trauma, by becoming depressed. but if someone's using that as their starting point, they might not really understand the depths of his depression if they don't know clint's usual behavior. he's snarky, overly confident even if still a bit insecure, was a self-assured team leader telling everybody to charge right through no matter what, he likes to joke and grill for his friends--

and what's happening in fraction's run? you see him snarking a little and concocting plans in the first issues, if a little muted, but he starts to feel completely unsure of himself, becomes more ambivalent on what to do, then apathetic about making any decisions, he attends rooftop grill sessions but isn't actively cooking and says he only really eats when others have set one up, and is pushing away his friends most of the time. eventually, he realizes he has to rally everyone together as a leader and ask for help from his friends.

but, again, when writers write him the same way as in fraction's run but devoid of context, they also remove the ramifications of the decisions and mistakes he made, whether or not he could help it, while depressed. indecisiveness and apathy lead to the problem getting worse, he gets hurt, people get hurt, he lashes out at his friends--there’s pain and heartbreak. if you remove that aspect but have clint acting the same way for a few pages in some other comic, he’s kind of just bumbling around, and if they just exaggerate the mess without the initial spill or subsequent slip, he just becomes a punchline.

also, this one probably speaks for itself, but fraction and aja’s run was very much a more grounded, street-level book. it’s a normal thing in comics where heroes are in their street-level solo fighting mobs and then they’re in a team book fighting gargantuan threats, and everyone accepts that, but for some reason (i guess since he’s a non-powered archer?) some people went a little too far in finding clint incapable of taking on big threats (despite his decades of avengers tenure). idk if it’s bc they only know him as taking on the tracksuits, or if that’s more of a fanon problem, or that’s just run-off from the memetic nature of people going “haha why’s there a bow & arrow guy in this movie.” like, the man is not incompetent and has taken on cosmic threats before. having recent storyline after storyline where clint has to justify his place in the avengers (a team he’s not even currently on right now! that’s how many times we’ve done this!) when he’s done so more times over than, frankly, a bunch of big names who are actually new additions compared to mr. recruit #2/member #7, is getting a tad old when it’s simultaneously having him question himself to an extensive degree. idk, it depends.

i really like how freefall reigned in clint dealing with even more subsequent traumatic events in a short time by having him utilize his high-level combat skills and planning capabilities to try to fight a problem dirty and alone. he’s back to his snarky self, which helps convince others none the wiser that nothing’s going on (ok they totally suspect there is but he secretly beat them up to go “no, really”), but there’s some dark grumblings. once again, he doesn’t seek help from his friends, but this time it’s because he’s convinced that he has to go around the system/social structure he and his friends have been operating in so he can effectively dismantle the hood’s operations and make changes etc. ...and he faces the consequences.

ah shit i rambled again.

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[snowybitch1237]

In your opinion, how long would team snakemouth + team Maki + team slacker + team mothiva last if they had to fight ghost, hornet, and hollow. How fast would the entire group get steamrolled?

Oo! Fun question that makes me think

They'd probably put up a pretty good fight! Especially team Maki and Slacker since both hit like trucks (so does Holly, but I'll get to that in a second) Team Mothiva would probably be the first to get picked off, considering you beat them twice in game, so I guess they'd be the weakest out of the four? And while Zasp is fast, idk if he's quite as fast as Hornet or fast enough for Holly's teleporting. And Mothiva is wet paper at hand to hand combat.

Kabbu's weapon being his horn is probably an issue, seeing as the siblings use metal weapons that are probably made to get through shell. And seeing as most bugs aren't wearing armor, and those that are in HK you typically beat the shit out of them until they reveal the fleshy parts (False Knight) or those with shields you have to move fast enough to get around the shield.

And Kabbu, my dear, your horn is not made of metal.

Leif has the slight advantage of using mainly magic so he can stay away from the worst of the fight (same with Mothiva, another magic user, and Yunna), but I'm not sure ice would deter the siblings too too much. (Especially if we're going with my long fic where Ghost shares a body with Radi) and idk how Vi would hold up. Probably not that great. To use her weapon she has to fling it, which means it can be broken or caught when she does so, and then she's out of a weapon.

Maki himself has the misfortune of using a piece of plastic as a sword, against three bugs all using metal weapons. Team Maki and Slacker im not gonna get that far into considering I've never beaten them.

Now to the siblings

I'm gonna go with my full grown Ghost for this.

So, the Ghost has the same fighting style I do, which is hit as fast and hard as you can, tank some hits if you have the masks. And if you get overwhelmed. Descending Dark everything.

Considering none of the Bugaria bugs have AOE spells (to the best of my memory) or at least not super strong ones, both Holly and Ghost each have one AOE spell. Hornets is smaller, but id imagine it'd still really hurt to get caught up in thread that's whipping around like crazy.

But with both Ghost and Holly being decently heavy magic users as well as melee combatants, and using both rather fluidly, it'd probably take a while to figure out the tells between a blade coming for your face or a spell. Especially if you're trying to focus on taking one of them down and the other either blindsides you or uses a spell. There's also the fact that both are tall and aside from maybe going for the fleshy part of their joints, most of their vulnerable points are above your head. Especially Holly with the missing arm.

There's also Ghost's nail arts, which if they're already really tall and probably wield a weapon taller than you, are terrifying to see, especially cyclone slash. So they could probably hop away from the fight for a moment for whatever reason, charge up an attack, and then suddenly they'd be in the middle of the fight and probably hitting sever bugs with one swipe.

Holly also has some generally large, sweeping swipes that would probably hit several bugs, as well as the ability to teleport. The teleporting and Ghost just generally being able to dash through attacks would probably throw you off pretty quick.

Hornet is the non magic user of the three, which isn't really too big of a deal cause all three are mainly melee fighters. She has the joy of setting up traps on the fly. And while Ghost can fly, she'd probably wind up being mostly airborne in this fight. With there being areas she can probably haul herself up off the ground, it probably wouldn't be too surprising for her to not be there one second, and suddenly someone is nearly speared the next second. But also it would be amusing if she could wrap her string around someone and use that to toss them, maybe to Ghost or Holly.

Both her and Holly will occasionally block and parry hits, the siblings mostly focus on trying to get hit as little as possible, and just having to deal with it when they do get hit.

(I would ramble on Hornet more but I've been largely avoiding SilkSong trailers cause I would like to go into it as blind as possible.)

Now the Bugaria bugs are probably tankier, seeing as dodging isn't an option in game and you just block hits. So the siblings would most likely have to hit, be blocked, and then move fast enough to get an actual hit in before their attacks can be blocked again. And the teams have the virtue of being, well, teams, and having stronger moves that rely on working with each other while the siblings tend to be loners and are probably more competitive with each other.

All that said, the Teams would put up a good fight! But they'd still get steamrolled faster than their normal fights. After all, this is ten against three.

But it's ten against two godlings, one with ages of protecting a dead kingdom against thieves and infected bugs that have no issue hitting as hard as possible. The other godling being born and raised and trained by the kingdoms best knights to contain an angry, bitter goddess, and even when infected, still had the strength to fight back against her.

And also against the young god of gods, who ascended when much smaller and weaker. And is also a certified gremlin.

This is all negated if someone breaks Ghost's mask and let's out the Lord of Shades. Then everyone has a whole nother problem.

[interdimensional-kickerofbutt]

Have you shared your thoughts on Xochitl Gomez being cast as America Chavez? If not, how do you feel about her casting and her acting/looks wise?

Honestly? I don't have much of an opinion yet, other than no body was going to be entirely satisfied no matter who got cast (me included, because I love America so much).

But other than that...

Well, first of all, I don't know the actress from much else. I know she made a series, but I haven't watched it yet... I feel it's a little beside the point though, because we still have to see her properly characterized and in character and... y'know... acting like America before I can tell whether she's pulling the part off or not.

So far, I think most of the Young Avengers castings have been pretty on point, so I do have hope that they know where they are going with this.

Now, I know there's been some discussion in fandom (and some downright anger) about a couple topics. And I DO have opinions about those:

1. Her race. This is the big one. I'll say this: it's a complicated thing in the comics, because America has never been openly stated to be mixed-race. She's latina for sure and most artists do draw her as afro-latina, but that varies greatly from one book to another. It's not something clear as, say, Miles Morales, whose father is clearly black and mother clearly latina. Even America's moms both seem mixed race... which again raises the issue of vagueness. So, while I do see people complaining that she's not afrolatina (and I agree that that's the most standard interpretation of her), I don't think sadly that it was clear enough that this is them "whitewashing" her. Do I wish personally that they'd cast a dark-skinned or afrolatina actress? Yes, absolutely. But I don't think this is as damning as some ppl are making it seem. There's some nuance there to be taken into account.

2. Another thing I've curiously seen brought up is the fact that the actress is mexican and not puertorrican. On that regard, I would point out again the vagueness of her origins (up until recently, at least). America was created to be a sort of superman... an alien who came to this world and became part of it and, within it, a particular culture. Aka: latinx. (The same way Superman seems like a white man who stands for the "american ideal" event though he's not strictly speaking a caucasian human nor was he born in the usa). She was from an alternate utopian parallel reality, not even part of the Multiverse itself (which is why, canonically, there was only one of her in the whole Multiverse... again, until recent retconning). Now, a few months ago a (frankly awful) retconning took place which stripped America away from much of her backstory and made her a puertorrican kid who had pretty much made up everything about the utopian parallel because of trauma. I personally hate that change, but whatever. My point is, this version of her backstory didn't technically exist when Xochitl was cast, and I don't see this as a "change of nationality". (Which, btw, still wouldn't be a big deal anyway and is nowhere as close to the whole valid race issue). Will the new (bs) backstory be the one the MCU presents in the new movie? I have frankly no idea. But you can probably guess what I hope.

3. And then there's her age. People are mostly angry that the three non-straight Young Avengers so far have been cast as much younger than their counterparts (Billy, Tommy and America). In regards to America, most of the criticism also stems from this move probably being with the intention to avoid shipping with Kate Bishop (a non-canon ship that has lots of subtext in canon and a heavy shipping base in fandom). But... really? I think it's weirder that they made Kate so much older than everyone else. I mean, she already is (in YAv2 she turns 21 while the rest are still minors) but not THAT much. Making her mid-twenties when her original backstory had her closer to everyone else's teenage range feels odd to me. I mean, Hailey is delightful and the move works for the Hawkeye show, but on a long-term plan, I think the younger Young Avengers make far more sense. With the time these movies take to make and come out, Xochitl (who will be 16 in 2022 and it's an actually appropriate age for a teen character) will probably be around 18-19 by the time any Young Avengers movie gets made (since it hasn't even been announced yet, let alone gone into preproduction). If you'd cast her at mid-twenties like Kate, you'd have a "young avenger" nearing thirty by the time you filmed. So, yeah, I see the concerns regarding age and age-gaps, but I don't think it's this actress that makes the equation funny.

Okay, for someone who said they didn't have many thoughts, I guess I do have quite a few haha but they are mostly regarding the fandom reactions to stuff.

When it comes to the actual actress, I'll say this: I am moderately optimistic, I am overwhelmingly excited to see my favorite character in the MCU in any type or form and I am (at the same time) fucking terrified that they will fuck her up.

Guess I can only wait and find out.

[hotchley]

dkfjsk SUMAYYAH I DEADASS TEARED UP AT YOUR LATEST WEB WEACING POST IM SOBBING NOW BECAUSE IM SAD SKDJSKDJ

everytime i see posts about how the team so readily criticised Hotch in that episode my heart breaks just a little more

not that i think it's wrong or they shouldn't have done that, but the fact that only Morgan was the one to add nuance to his criticism ("sometimes")? for Emily it was kind of understandable since she was still so new to the team, and obviously given the way she started at the BAU, Hotch wouldn't have shown her too much trust & be kind to her, which to be fair, definitely could've made her come to the conclusion that he doesn't trust women. but the one that really gets to me nowadays is how JJ just says he's a bully like, 😭😭😭😭 he's one of the kindest characters with the biggest hearts on the show and I always thought Hotch had this older brother vibes with JJ because he was so protective of & patient with her & all that it actually kind of broke my heart to see that line again 😭

the first time i watched the episode i didn't think much about it because at that time i was younger (around 2 years ago? i mean mentally, intellectually, i feel like I've matured since then) & so i didn't pay such close attention to that scene + the whole Spencer was still in danger part kinda had my attention anyways. i only thought that scene was kinda sad but also showcased Hotch's really amazing intellect + sensitivity/perception i guess, i found it kind of funny/amusing and enjoyed it when they figured out Spencer's hint and that's it but now, as I've grown and matured and especially after I've read more fics about Hotch (fanfiction writers are really amazing at spotting details, you'd know that yourself) i just find the entire scene to be SO HEARTBREAKING 😭 idk i always saw Hotch as this strong, tough alpha male leader figure and to think that in that moment he's getting ripped apart by his teammates, the very people he is constantly putting his life and job and family on the line for, and getting all his insecurities and biggest fears laid out and voiced out and exposed by those he very well considers his second family.....

idk I'm just sad now 😭😭😭😭😭

- 🌙

My answer got LONG so it's all below the cut :)

I am going to sound terrible, but I AM VERY HAPPY!! I was hoping someone would be sad because I had the idea in the shower and was like: AHA

I know, I watched that episode and was like: ohh... well... I mean... and then I watched more and was like: OHHH NOO. And then people will be like: HAHA IT'S SO FUNNY!! Or: well I mean, are they wrong??

And I'm like: first, that wasn't funny, because when I asked my friends what my worst flaw was I got: how honest do you want me to be, you don't have enough faith in yourself, you don't have one and silence. And they were also wrong because PEOPLE SAY THINGS IN ANGER!!

Honestly, look at their comments and it shows so much about the way they view Hotch and the dynamic between the characters, and also how they express their emotions. Morgan already knows that Hotch is up to something, so not only does he add nuance, he goes for something that isn't even that big of a deal like "drill sergeant, SOMETIMES" he's the Unit Chief, of course he is.

Yeah, Emily's makes sense, but the issue I have with that is the fandom interpretation of that comment. It's not that he doesn't trust women- if he really didn't trust women, he would not trust JJ to handle press, or recruited Garcia from prison. Also, look at the dynamic with Blake and with Kate. He never distrusted them. He didn't trust Emily because of the way she was put on his team. Everyone watching knows there's something going on, and most of the fandom have seen the later seasons so it's like: GUYS!! REMEMBER THE CONTEXT!!

I know!! When JJ called him a bully, I was like: I know you're angry, but you know you're wrong and he's going to internalise that, and he's not a bully, because look at their little interactions like when he told her it's okay to lose it, or when he fought to let her stay, or how he thought she was an amazing profiler and AAH

Yeah I watched that for the first time and kinda thought it was funny, if a little sad and problematic because why would anyone look at their boss and think: yeah, I'm going to be honest about this. And I know Reid was trying to give a hint, but it was still sad to hear Hotch so violently deny being a narcissist, because even when people don't mean things, it hurts. That's why I included it in the post, just for the complete set.

I first mentioned that scene in heavy is the head that wears the crown as one of the six times Hotch keeps it together, and people were like: OH MY GOD!! That was when I realised... most people did not take it the same way I did... and then it became A Thing.

So then it got mentioned in... that fic where Hotch got kidnapped and mayhem and maybe that's okay? I'm not sure, but I started working it into as many things as possible because I'm like that.

(But seriously, I will work in Emily's: I need to know I can be human and the Revelations scene wherever possible, it's ridiculous)

It is very upsetting though. Because you have Hotch saying he doesn't have a sense of humour, which is a) not that big of a deal, and b) not true. JJ lashes out, Morgan tries to do damage control, Emily goes too far (there's actually a conversation planned where Gideon tries to explain the truth...)

That was exactly it. Throughout the show, Hotch puts his career on the line- he does also get suspended without pay- and tries to do everything he can for them, only for that scene to never have any follow-up. People on TikTok will always be like: Hotch never apologised for this, JJ never apologised for this, but nobody ever said to Hotch: BY THE WAY!!

Also, it was definitely strange. So much of the non-case moments show the team are also a family, because they talk to each other and they love each other and this and that, but that one scene seems to do the opposite...

Like an UNSUB was able to get Hotch's biggest fear- and therefore his biggest flaw- better than the team were able to. Mildly concerning. But yes. I stand by: these were comments made in a moment of anger, and Hotch is not any of those things so everyone should move on :)

If it's any consolation, I got sad making it....

Does any of this make sense? Idk... ANYWAYS

[jedimasterkelly]

Shit happens when you're a woman. A lot of shit. Bad shit. And a lot of the time, you will run into doctors who do not listen to you. Will not care about you, and will not take you seriously.

This story is about the Great Cancer Scare of 2020.

I was 49, and 3 yrs post menopause. I was pleased about that, as it means no more period ever. I could deal with the occasional hot flashes, and the snapping of necks of anyone who dared bother me. Then in May of 2020, after the pandemic fully hit and the University I work at closed and sent all of us to work from home, I got very sick. Not from Covid, thankfully, but something else. I had started bleeding, and it wasn't menstrual blood. It was bright red and HEAVY. I was filling post-natal pads within 2 hours. I called the Women's Clinic where my OB-GYN lived. They couldn't see me until July. WTF! I called my GP, who got me in on an emergency basis, I mean, 3 yrs post-menopausal women don't just spring a leak, you know? My ovarian function had been almost nil for 3 years. He called my OB-GYN and demanded I get seen right away. They made an appointment for 2 weeks later. Keep reading, because it's quite a ride!

Seriously! 2 weeks later!

In the meantime, my GP discovered my thyroid was tanked out, so I was put on Levothyroxine 25mcg. It helped a lot. I started to feel a little bit more human, at least in the brain area. I finally got in to the OB-GYN, and he did a biopsy and trans-vaginal ultrasound. We got the results 2 weeks later and he called me in to go over them. He said I had hyperplasia with atypia. Cells were dividing rapidly, and he was very concerned. He recommended an endometrial ablation, or a full hysterectomy. At 49 he wasn't concerned with me having a sudden maternal urge (I have no kids), so he was fine with either choice. I decided on the hysterectomy, because why not? Endometrium grows back after an ablation, and why bother at my age? Just yank it all and let me get back to my life.

He said he didn't feel safe doing the procedure, since the cells were most likely cancerous and rapidly dividing, so he sent a referral to one of the cancer centers in OKC. I expected a call within a couple of weeks. I mean, really, if I have the early stages of endometrial cancer, they'd call me in immediately, right? Right?

Crickets. Literal crickets for 4 months! I was very concerned, hell, worried I was going to get full blown cancer and these jackasses weren't going to try and help me at all. I called OB-GYN several times during that 4 month period, and was told the cancer center in OKC wasn't returning their calls. I called them numerous times, and could never get a person on the phone.

I was told it was the pandemic. The pandemic was shutting everything down and causing huge backlogs for non-Covid issues to be seen. I told OB-GYN to refer me to the oncologist from Tulsa, who also worked once a month in Stillwater at the SMC Cancer Center. He didn't want to, he wanted me to see the doctor in OKC (who wasn't returning anyone's calls!) I called SMC Cancer Center and asked how soon I could get in with Dr. Thomas. His office called back within 2 hours asking for my chart and biopsy results. I had the Womens Clinic send my information to Dr. Thomas in Tulsa. Within a week, they called and had me on the schedule to see him in Stillwater on his next visit.

This is where the story gets good. And by good, I mean, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Thanks for sticking with me this far.

Got in to see Dr. Thomas. I researched him and learned we have the same Alma Mater. That day, we were both wearing t-shirts from said same Alma Mater. Instant bonding! I also work in Administration at said same Alma Mater, so we spent some time discussing (gossiping) about my department since he had taken classes with a lot of my faculty during his undergrad. Then he got serious and handed me my biopsy report. He told me he was going to assume I wasn't shown this, since I am:

1. A Master's of Science graduate student in Education Leadership - this making me a researcher who knows how to do research, do research, and understand research.

2. Work full time in a Physical Sciences department at a Big 12 University.

3. Edit manuscripts for my Dept. Chair, thus proving I am scientifically literate. You can't edit scientific manuscripts without having a good, solid knowledge of said science. If he's alternating between "adsorb" and "absorb", I have to understand his research in order to correct his manuscript. This is important because his manuscripts have to be peer reviewed before they can be published in a reputable journal.

"Read it to me, out loud," he said.

I started reading from the paper in my professional scientist voice. It didn't take long before I began to falter as I came to the realization I had been lied to.

"Read it again," he said.

This time, I read it with a lot more heat in my voice.

Diagnosis: no hyperplasia with atypia, no abnormal cells detected

Dr. Thomas waited for me to explode. I didn't. I just stared at him in anger and horror. He offered to do another biopsy to make sure, but he suggested I fire my OB-GYN immediately and find someone who actually gives a shit about me.

I was still randomly bleeding, 6-9 weeks at a time, so we agreed on another trans-vaginal ultrasound and biopsy. The attached photo shows he took 3 samples from my uterus. He wanted to be sure.

A little ditty about endometrial biopsies:

They hurt like a motherfucker.

Take 2-3 ibuprofen before you leave the house to go to your procedure.

Relax. It usually only lasts a couple of minutes. The doctor normally takes 1 or 2 samples. Pinch, snip, clip, done.

Not this guy. He wanted to be surely sure.

He went for a 3rd pinch snip clip. My uterus seized up in the most painful spasm I ever had in my life. I almost came off the table. He was seated on a little rolly stool so he shot back away from me before I could connect his head to my foot. He triumphantly held up his little weapon of Uterine Destruction and declared, "Got it!"

"Yeah, you almost got your ass kicked mister," I growled at him.

"It was worth it to get this beauty of a sample."

So, after a biopsy of your uterus, expect some bleeding and cramping. I had severe cramps for 2 days. I was not amused. We're talking laying in bed with a heating pad and ibuprofen every 4 hours kind of cramping.

Got the results back in a couple of weeks. No cancer. No hyperplasia. No abnormal cell growth. He recommended I find a new OB-GYN fast. I decided fuck it, I'm done. I'm never seeing another OB-GYN ever again.

Dr. Thomas said several times he's convinced my issues are endocrinal. I filed that away in the back of my mind.

(if you ever do test positive for cancer and you are in the Tulsa area, I highly recommend Dr. Eric Thomas! Make sure you have a sense of humor with him.)

My GP started pressuring me back in March of 2021 to find a new OB-GYN. The Women's Clinic has several, but they have a fucked up rule you can't switch doctors there. So if you go there, you are stuck with the same doctor and can't move over to his colleague on another floor. I saw my GP again, and asked if he was still best buds with a gynecologist who had his own clinic. He was always full, and not taking new patients, so GP would have to call his buddy to get me in.

Which he did. Buddy-GYN's office called the very next day to schedule me in. He had been sent my chart and was concerned about the long bleeds (6-9 weeks in duration) and why the fuck were they happening after being 3 yrs post-menopause.

I went in for a consult in April of 2021. First thing out of his mouth, "Has anyone ever talked to you before about PCOS?"

I laughed.

I laughed because every GYN I saw over the last 20 years told me I didn't have PCOS, endometriosis, or any sort of hormonal issues. I was just fat, lazy, and a piggy pig pig. I actually had one OB-GYN tell me to go on The Biggest Loser. Fat shamed while sitting there naked on his table after an invasive exam of my female bits. Thanks a lot, asshole.

I told him about that. He informed me he could tell by LOOKING at me I have the classics signs of PCOS. I use an epilator on my crazy man-hairs, so he asked if I was tweezing or waxing. I about fell out of my chair. Nobody ever believed me that I was having to remove crazy thick hairs off my chin and neck all the time. He asked if I ever had ovarian cysts. Affirmative, I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts the first time one exploded back in 1994. He stood there, holding the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

"Well, going by your chief complaints, your abdominal circumference, history of bursting cysts, and no period for 3 years, I am saying you have PCOS."

He went on to discuss my need for an appointment with an endocrine specialist, he was convinced my thyroid tanking out sent my ovaries back into production, and now my hormones are all over the place, most likely, and I needed specialized care.

He must have talked to GP, because I soon got a call from the endo clinic to come in.

This post is already long and tedious, but I am happy to say I finally have 3 doctors who listen to me. My new Endo doc tripled my levothyroxine and scheduled a follow up blood test for next month. Buddy-GYN talked me into a pap smear and cervical exam in July as well. He also wants a mammogram, which I begrudgingly need to schedule so he doesn't chew my ass in July when I walk in with no results. GP is working on my other issues (weight, bad fluid retention, etc...). We discovered from a blood test last Friday my iron levels are dangerously low. I am now on a Rx iron supplement. I've always struggled with anemia, but it never occurred to me or GP to check my iron levels. If you're a woman, and you feel like absolute dog shit and your doctor can't figure out why, have your iron and electrolytes tested. It'll probably take about 3-4 weeks for me to see any results from the iron supplement, but I can already see a reduction in fluid retention.

In September, I have an appointment with Dr. Le at Integris in OKC. He's a bariatric surgeon. I have gained so much weight from having PCOS and Hypothyroidism that I need to drop a lot of fat fast. I'm pretty healthy - I don't have the normal problems obese people tend to have. I'm not diabetic, don't have sleep apnea, my cholesterol levels are good. I am what they call "healthy fat" which seems like an oxymoron. However, it will improve my chances of getting approved for a sleeve gastrectomy.

I turned 50 last week, and had to endure 3 decades of no one listening to me. I feel I lost so many years of my life and I can never get them back. I hope this post reaches a lot of younger women having issues. Keep looking for a doctor who will listen to you. It sucks we have to hunt for these unicorns, but they do exist. I finally have a good team who actually cares about me.

You have a right to be listened to! You have a right to be heard!

I was asked: Who are my doctors?

Dr. Daniel Brown D.O. Stillwater Physicians Clinic

Dr. Yasuto Taguchi M.D. Taguchi Women's Clinic

Dr. Wynter Kipgen M.D. Stillwater Diabetes & Endocrinology

[johnnytightlipsblog]

I'm back online! Aaaand for my first post back, I'm here with another hilarious SJW Story Time. Oh, and trigger warning if that's your fetish these days.

I wasn't going to post this out of my "genuine respect" I have for a fellow human, but at the same time, I've realized people who behave like her is pretty shitty and they contribute to the social problems we have in society. Please read on to find out why.

So this is a screenshot from my exchange with this girl named "VintageCorgi" who used to draw Simpsons fan art. Funny thing about her name... I actually suggested that name to her back in 2015/2016 when she was changing up her online names. Lol.

Anyway! It's been such a long time since we've actually talked. And I had been inactive with Deviantart for most of 2018 to until recently. I found an old message from her on tumblr asking me how I was doing but since she had deactivated her tumblr account at the time (or she could've blocked me by then), I sent her a polite friendly message asking how she was doing. My message went unanswered. No big deal. I saw her online after that message but I assumed she was just busy to reply so I didnt think much of it. Then I was offline again due to being busy with irl stuff. But when I came back online recently to clean up all my old accounts, I got curious and wondered if she was still alive until I got a blocked message from Deviantart when I tried to message her again.

Now...again, I have not exchanged ANY messages with her since 2018. I messaged her because she was still following me as of 2020 and wondered what she was up to.

So... to get a reply like this after I wanted to know why she blocked me out of the blue was super confusing, but... looking back, seeing as how her journal posts on Deviantart were getting increasingly erratic and hypersensitive and just overall negative and disparaging people about their flaws... I guess this type of reaction was to be expected. By the way, Neph/Caterina/whatever name you go by these days, I *did* read your cringy DNI but I honestly didn't even know your new persona existed until now lol. Why are you so butthurt about me not being psychic? Seeing as how we've barely interacted in the past few years.

Since you obviously don't know what a SJW is, I will give you a quick explanation. I am all for people who are passionate in their support for actual real life social issues. They are *not* SJWs, they are actual global citizens and are worthy of recognition and respect.

BUT. SJWs are a reactionary group of people who are empowered by populism and groupthink and ignore any empirical evidence that disagrees with their opinions. Similar to anti-vaxxers.

You're right, I don't like SJWs because they are people like you who get upset and mad about everything and everyone who doesn't agree with 100% of his/her/their beliefs, and then sets out to "cancel" those people.

Seeing as how I have never posted anything political on my personal tumblr account nor my Deviantart account, both of which you followed me on before, I'll wager that either you were stalking me or another stalker follower may have set out to cancel me. Any posts I made that you were offended by, sorry.

Actually no. I'm NOT sorry, because it's your fault for not even knowing any of the contexts for my posts and you judged me based on the outward appearance of it. For someone who is supposed to be "non-judgmental" and "accepting", you and others like yourself are the biggest hypocrites. You're just as judgemental and divisive as the rightwing nutjobs in your rhetoric. Both you and a rightwing job have this in common; hating everyone who doesn't agree with you on everything and labeling it as "dRaMa" and "pEoPLe sUcK". Have fun enabling yourself into an unhealthy fantasy.

And you're welcome, Caterina/Neph/etc for Vintage Corgi. I'm genuinely honored you still use that online moniker to this day ;^)

And for my followers: If you've made it this far to the end of my rant/crash course in The Study of SJWs.... thank you ♡ I am sick of people who think they know me from my political viewpoints. Genuinely not trying to be rude here @VintageCorgi ;^)

[thespacenico]

Hi! I just saw your post about asexuality and wanted to share for a sec!! I'm a trans queer guy who happens to be ace as well. I've not thought about it much actively, but I've never really considered myself as part of the lgbt community for my asexuality mainly because it's something I could keep to myself. Being trans was obvious for a while and will always impact me visibly. If I'm in a queer relationship, that's visible. Both have brought me far more strife than my asexuality (although with what you mentioned in your post, I'm sure my situation factors into that). I guess I've always separated my identities; if I want to talk about ace stuff (which is rare, to be fair) I'd go to aspec specific spaces. Otherwise, I go to more generally queer spaces. I mean this in a fully respectful way because I'm interested, but why do you group your "aceness" with your lesbian identity? I have interacted with other ace people outside of the internet and their perspectives wildly vary. I will say anecdotally that the "het" aces I know that consider themselves lgbt for their asexuality often speak over me on queer and trans issues. Personally, I feel there exists a deeper systemic issue regarding trans and queer discrimination than ace discrimination which is part of why I don't immediately consider my asexuality as lgbt or those heteroromantic people as lgbt. In another regard, asexuality obviously is a sexuality (as you mentioned), but I've found with the way my identity blends together, it just makes more sense to talk about that specific part of it with other ace people. I think I see the ace spectrum as a separate thing to measures of the types of people I'm attracted to and the type of person I am. Levels of attraction vs. identity and types of attraction in terms of identity, ya know?? I hope this doesn't sound aggressive!! I really want to hear more about your perspective as a fellow ace person. Most ace people I do regularly speak with who see themselves as lgbt choose that community because that's where they first learned about the label. Feel free to disregard all of this because I know it's long!!!

hi! thanks for sharing! you brought up a lot of good points so i’m gonna try to acknowledge/respond to all of them best i can! for the record, i think it’s worth pointing out that we’re both ace, but since it’s a spectrum there’s a really good chance that even we don’t experience it the same way, which is why discussion amongst the actual asexual community is super meaningful compared to discussion amongst allo people who have a very limited knowledge of asexuality to start with. all that being said, here’s my perspective on things! 

I've not thought about it much actively, but I've never really considered myself as part of the lgbt community for my asexuality mainly because it's something I could keep to myself. Being trans was obvious for a while and will always impact me visibly. If I'm in a queer relationship, that's visible.

that’s fair! i agree that it’s something we can keep to ourself, but why do we have to (or choose to) keep it to ourself? the why probably differs for most aspec people. in my case, i’m pretty vocal about my asexuality (on twitter at least), but in real life where i’m surrounded by straight cishet allo people, i keep it to myself because they wouldn’t understand it in the slightest, many of them would think i’m just trying to be special, etc. not only am i assumed to be straight (i’m not), but i’m also assumed to be allosexual (i’m not).

visibility is an interesting topic too because i think that’s when we veer into conversations about things like “straight-passing,” “cis-passing,” etc. at home i’m mostly still in the closet, but my identity is still very much real. it may not always be visible, but it’s definitely there! a visibly queer relationship is just one way our identities are put on display. but even then, sometimes two lgbtq+ individuals can be in a relationship and it’s not visibly queer — for example, two (or even one) bi people in a m/f relationship. to people outside of the community especially, it doesn’t look like a queer relationship, but it very much is.

all that to say, asexuality often isn’t visible per se, but there are many other identities that also lack visibility under certain circumstances, in a sense. that’s why i don’t personally consider visibility very much!

Both have brought me far more strife than my asexuality (although with what you mentioned in your post, I'm sure my situation factors into that). I guess I've always separated my identities; if I want to talk about ace stuff (which is rare, to be fair) I'd go to aspec specific spaces. Otherwise, I go to more generally queer spaces.

i can’t speak on your trans/queer experience specifically (and i’m sorry for the trouble people have given you for them), but this is also where i would personally say that just because asexuality doesn’t cause you as much strife as your being trans/queer, doesn’t mean that it’s not important or any less valid as part of your overall identity. asexuality aside for a moment, the lgbtq+ community has been historically oppressed and discriminated against, basically even before its official inception. this may not be realistic, but let’s say that 100 years from now, we're finally free of that oppression/discrimination. we don’t suddenly lose our place in the lgbtq+ community, do we? oppression doesn’t have anything to do with the validity of our respective identities, if that makes sense. other identities aren’t more or less valid depending on how oppressed they are. that’s my opinion on that! and like you mentioned, i think our personal situations definitely do affect our experiences in general. 

when it comes to talking about ace stuff, i think the point is that lots of us within the lgbtq+ community sometimes separate our identities in different ways, even those that aren’t ace, because there are often specific spaces within the community itself. sometimes lesbians need lesbian specific spaces, sometimes bi people need bi specific spaces, sometimes trans people need trans specific spaces, etc. it’s always much easier and more validating to talk to people who share your experiences. like you said, there are also aspec specific spaces! and yet, everyone within one of those specific spaces can have very different identities. as an ace lesbian, i might engage in a lesbian specific space without ever needing to talk about my asexuality, or engage in an aspec specific space without ever needing to talk about my lesbian identity. i’m not necessarily talking about every part of my identity all the time, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. 

I mean this in a fully respectful way because I'm interested, but why do you group your "aceness" with your lesbian identity? I have interacted with other ace people outside of the internet and their perspectives wildly vary.

i think that for me specifically, i feel like my asexuality plays a veeery big part in how i experience attraction in general. i used to id as bisexual, but after a while i realized i wasn’t attracted to men at all and so began to id as lesbian. it wasn’t until then that i realized i was also ace, and that honestly threw me for a loop because for a while it made me wonder if i was bi after all (i’m not, but i thought about it for a while!). technically speaking, there are other labels i could use to describe my attraction, such as sapphic asexual or homoromantic asexual, although i think for the latter sometimes it depends on how a person feels about the split attraction model and how it can be applied. 

either way! it’s my experience that asexuality significantly influences how a person experiences attraction compared to allosexuals. i’d say that’s the main reason i “group” my aceness with my lesbian identity, because to me they’re intertwined.  

you’re right though about how the perspectives of ace people wildly vary! it’s super interesting to hear from other ace people what their thoughts are. i think for me it comes down to the fact that some ace people may not need a space specifically for their asexuality, and that’s okay! like you’ve mentioned, they typically don’t experience the same level of discrimination, at least not in the same ways, and sometimes it wholly depends on the kind of people you’re around and whether or not you’re out. many ace people do experience discrimination though and desperately do need that space, and i don’t see why the lgbtq+ community shouldn’t be for them as well, considering. there are certainly differences between issues involving asexuality and other identities like gay, lesbian, trans, etc. but there are differences between issues involving specifically those identities as well, and certain similarities between all of them.

I will say anecdotally that the "het" aces I know that consider themselves lgbt for their asexuality often speak over me on queer and trans issues. Personally, I feel there exists a deeper systemic issue regarding trans and queer discrimination than ace discrimination which is part of why I don't immediately consider my asexuality as lgbt or those heteroromantic people as lgbt. In another regard, asexuality obviously is a sexuality (as you mentioned), but I've found with the way my identity blends together, it just makes more sense to talk about that specific part of it with other ace people.

i know how frustrating it is to have people talk over you about issues that directly impact you and not them, and i’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that. i do think however that this sort of thing happens even within the lgbtq+ community all the time. this is in no way a justification or excuse for the people who have spoken over you, but just a comparison. i’ve seen tons of conversations (usually on social media) where lesbians will speak over bi women on bi issues, non-lesbians will speak over lesbians on lesbian issues, cis people will speak over trans people on trans issues, etc. it’s frustrating in any case, and it typically has to do with the fact that there’s a certain level of ignorance for almost everyone when it comes to an identity that’s not theirs. (am i making sense??) i even see allo people speak over aspec people on ace issues all the time as well. tldr - i’m not saying there’s not a specific underlying issue with the “het” aces who have spoken over you on those issues, but you can definitely draw comparisons to certain circumstances elsewhere within the community.

i 100% agree with your point that there is a much deeper systemic issue regarding trans and queer discrimination than ace discrimination. i think my view on that pretty much goes back to what i said earlier about how i don’t think discrimination or oppression determines the validity of an identity as an lgbtq+ identity. regardless, like you said about how you feel that it makes more sense to talk about your own asexuality with other ace people, i think sometimes it just comes down to how we perceive/experience our own identities! i often feel more isolated due to my asexuality more than i feel isolated due to my being a lesbian. that may not be the case for all aspec people, but it really impacts me personally.

I think I see the ace spectrum as a separate thing to measures of the types of people I'm attracted to and the type of person I am. Levels of attraction vs. identity and types of attraction in terms of identity, ya know??

that’s also fair! i think in my mind it’s just that aceness is part of my identity/is its own independent identity regardless of who i’m romantically attracted to. my asexuality would still exist whether i’m also a lesbian or not. i just happen to personally combine my identities (aka ace lesbian) because they’re both there and they influence each other. 

Most ace people I do regularly speak with who see themselves as lgbt choose that community because that's where they first learned about the label.

i’m glad you brought this up at the very end too!! i first learned about the label from the lgbtq+ community as well, but it took forever for me to realize that it described me. in my experience, asexuality is crazy misunderstood both in and out of the community. it took me weeks to months of doing my own research on asexuality to understand what it really is, and even then that there’s a spectrum. in regards to everything about this post, i think where an ace person falls on the spectrum might be a big factor that plays into what their experience is like and whether they feel they need a space like the lgbtq+ community. either way, the fact that most people first hear about asexuality from the community and the fact that we have our own flag and everything really speaks to all this. why not choose the lgbtq+ community since it’s already here, that’s where asexuality is often talked about, and that’s where people understand what it’s like to experience attraction that differs from the norm? 

anyway those are my thoughts!! it’s nice to be talking to someone else who’s actually ace rather than feeling like i’m having to preach to allosexuals who don’t think my asexuality matters period :’)

[supernovaken]

Why I don’t like Sanji - One Piece Discussion

Sanji used to be one of my favourite characters up there with the other two-thirds of the monster trio, mostly because of his calm attitude, debonair persona and strategic thinking. A lot of people enjoy the swagger he brings to the Straw-Hat crew’s dynamic, and the way his personality compares and contrasts with everyone's favourite swordsman Roronoa Zoro.

Don’t get me wrong, this post isn’t a Sanji bash, and it certainly isn’t the Sanji vs Zoro toxic rant that we have in the fan base, so if that’s what you came here looking for it may be best to click away now. Hopefully I still get the click bait credit hahahaha [laughs in evil].

All I'm trying to do here is delve into Sanji as a character; from his introduction into the storyline through to his current state of characterisation, along with how my impression of Sanji has changed over the course of the so far 1000 One Piece chapters GOda has blessed the world with.

I work on the rule that once a chapter is animated it is no longer considered spoiler territory and my main focus will be on the Whole Cake Island Arc and the character nuances presented leading up to that. I’ll be avoiding discussing anything happening in Wano mainly due to the fact that I haven’t seen much in terms of new characterisation for Sanji - so before anyone jumps down the comments with the argument that it all makes sense during Wano, i’d say just give that one a miss.

Anyone who isn’t caught up with the anime, here’s your fair warning…

Let me tell you Why I Don’t Like Sanji

Throughout the story Sanji has always been the more aloof, somewhat guarded character in the crew - at least on a surface level. His introduction was as the charming pirate restaurant chef that had a way with words and a ferocity when it came to his food. The Baratie Arc is where we were introduced to the rough and tumble fighting chef and most importantly where we were shown his passion; for women, family, life and of course food. Skip forward an odd 800 chapters and although we are shown moments that may have seemed slightly off putting for the character (don’t even get me started)... where I really lost touch with Sanji was during the Whole Cake Island Arc (WCI).

Caveat

Now I've had a few back and forths over this online so I want to make a few things clear from the offset. The issues that I will be delving into are all from a character and characterization point of view.

I have no issues with the plot of WCI but I did feel that Sanji wasn’t being himself (or at least the version of Sanji as a character that I along with many other fans had gotten to know up til this point).

I’ll be breaking down my understanding of the plot as best I can going off all the information we have on it and I'll be evidencing what I say with Manga panels to reduce the amount of dispute I'm likely to get from this.

Saying that, I will ask that as you run through this you allow a little room for perspective. I will be commenting on Sanji and the decisions he made at the point in time that he was making them, this means that we’ll need to come from a perspective of understanding all the information that was available to Sanji at the time, not just what the audience knew or what other characters were planning or doing. In order to comment on Sanji's behaviour we have to go off what he knows in the moments he takes action.

Whole Cake Island

Before I go into Sanji's character throughout the story here's a quick synopsis of everything that happens in the WCI

After arriving at Zou and dealing with a few Beast Pirate stragglers, Sanji was essentially taken hostage; physically through the Power of Bege’s Castle-Castle Fruit, then later with the use of the exploding cuffs, and taken hostage emotionally through the threat made on Zeffs life and the immediate threat Bege posed on the members of the Straw-Hat crew that were there at the time.

The plan was to use Sanji in a political wedding to unite the Charlotte Family/Big Mom Pirates with the Vinsmoke Family. Being a political wedding there were motivations on boths sides to attain the power offered by the other; and thanks to an underlying conspiracy plot led by Big Mom, the plan was to kill Sanji along with the Vinsmoke family and take their technology.

Fortunately the plan was ruined by non-other than our very own Straw-Hat Luffy and his pals (after an initial skirmish with Sanji's Black leg), and Sanji returned to the crew as they escaped a rampaging Big Mom.

My issues with Sanji that crept up over the course of the arc:-

Sanji left the crew (albeit to protect Zeff but more on this later)

Sanji attacked his Captain

The timing for when Sanji returned to the crew (AFTER he discovered pudding was gonna betray him)

For that third point I'd like to put heavy emphasis on ‘timing’. I don’t have any issue with the fact that he returned, I love Sanji as a member of the Straw-Hat Pirates and it’s clear the dynamic is not the same without him. I also don’t have an issue with how he returned to the crew as the way he broke down in front of Luffy was one of the most heart-string pulling, tear-jerking scenes of WCI (although I will be getting into his apology/ lack of one in that scene). But the timing of his decision to return to the crew really irritated me as a long time fan of the character, all I could ask was, after everything that’s happened, why now?

Leaving the Crew

Pre timeskip the story addresses a lot of themes surrounding the topic of what it meant to be a Straw-Hat pirate. All the way back in East blue where the story of the Straw-Hat crew was born we were given storylines around the value of friendship (NAKAMA!!), the important roles each member had, their individual struggles against adversity up to the point Luffy came to save their spirits and ignite their dreams. And we had all that both for Sanji and with Sanji as he experienced the emotional battles every member of the crew faced when they came into contact with their soon to be Captain, (including Usopp's turmoil at Water 7).

He knew what it meant for each member to join Luffy and he knew what it meant to leave the crew. He experienced first hand with Nami, Luffy didn’t believe Nami would steal from them and kill Usopp even though she had only been with him for a short time. And he waited for her response to challenge Arlong.

When Usopp clashed with Luffy at Water 7, Sanji was there knowing what it meant for a crewmate to clash with his captain and the weight of leaving the crew. He lashed out at Luffy when he was about to say something reckless,

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji lashes out at Luffy's reckless speaking, Chapter 331 page 15]

and after showing he understood Usopp's feelings of inadequacy within the crew he made it clear that everyone has something they can do best when supporting Luffy and the crew. Even still he later agreed with Zoro's reasoning in the epic speech given to Luffy about the importance of respecting your Captain as these are not Pirate games they are playing.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji agrees with Zoro, Chapter 438 page 5]

When Robin left the crew Sanji saw how Luffy responded and without hesitating he was there to challenge an entity as great as the World Government (WG) just to bring her back. He wasn’t even patient enough to wait for the crew on the Sea Train because as Luffy said to Zoro, would any of them have been able to sit back and wait.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji impatient to challenge the World Government, Chapter 367 page 12]

These moments, for me, shaped a character trait in Sanji showing how much he values his crewmates but also shows how relentless both he and Luffy are when it comes to getting someone back. So I couldn’t reconcile this character that we’ve been shown across the story with the one in Zou who thinks it's ok to leave the crew on a false promise to return and think no one in the crew would challenge that decision. A lot of people say that he was planning to come back but even in the moment it was clear to the crew that Sanji was lying.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji’s lie, Chapter 813 page 17]

Nico Robin

I want to compare Sanji’s plan to leave and save the crew against Robin's plan during the Water 7 arc. My aim is to show how similar their reasoning is but why the decision only makes sense from Robin's perspective as a character at the time of her decision and not for Sanji during WCI.

When Robin left the crew it really was to protect a group of people she only just became acquainted with so understandably would not want them facing a power as huge as the World Government or alternatively resenting her for staying with the crew as she’s experienced in the past. Her sacrifice was to protect a crew of 6 people from the full power of the World Government. She had seen their power destroy her home ISLAND in the past so it is very understandable to assume the crew wouldn’t have a chance in hell of surviving an attack.

Robin didn’t know the capability of the Straw-Hats and their willingness to challenge a huge organisation like the World Government. What she did know was the power of the WG and that a normal crew would not survive the immediate threat of a Buster Call along with the power of the CP9 at Water 7.

Robin's wish was for them to be able to leave Water 7 safely which is why Lucci spared them during their battle in Icebergs mansion. Some fans question if the WG would have actioned a Buster Call on Water 7 because without it there was still an option to escape, plus the CP9 were on the island undercover. Why would the government destroy it? Why wouldn’t Robin just run from Water 7 and let the Straw-Hats escape?.

Enies Lobby is a much more important location to the WG than Water 7 due to its position in the world as the Judiciary island. It’s a symbol of the World Governments power. CP-9 were in Ohara when a buster call was actioned which goes to show the lack of hesitation the government had during these attacks, even when its own personnel are on the Island. Also CP-9 as well as a number of government officials, and their families that lived on the island, were on Enies Lobby at the time and in both cases they still attacked without hesitation, they still attacked the island indiscriminately. They had no reason not to attack Water 7 if a buster call was issued, so I don’t see how calling one on Water 7 would have been impossible.

At that time Robin was already aware of that scary power and it had haunted her her entire life, so if it were called on Water 7 assuming the Straw-Hats didn’t chase her (she wouldn’t have accounted for this at the time) it makes sense for her to want to save them from it. Let’s not forget that they really only escaped the Buster Call thanks to a massive Deux Ex Machina. I can suspend disbelief long enough to say a worn down ship was able to traverse ‘Aqua Laguna storm level waves’ and reach another island with no crew or navigator thanks to the power of friendship but damn, lets just call it what it is, Shonen Magic.

CP-9 weren’t on Water 7 to get Robin, they were there on an undercover mission to get the Pluton blueprints from Iceberg, so I’m guessing rather than snatching her and potentially blowing their cover too soon, they met with her to explain the threat they could be to the Straw-Hats and pressure her into coming with them peacefully which was an added benefit of their mission. A well calculated move from Lucci. Also remember that they had recently just lost to Aokiji, who was the shadow behind the threat since a buster call can only be issued on his authority as an Admiral (he gave permission to Spandam after encountering the Straw-Hats). In the end they had to escalate the plan and force Iceburg to give them the blueprints rather than wait for him to hand it over to an apprentice, they assumed if they threatened his life he would hand it over sooner to Paulie, then in the middle of their attack deduced that he had already handed it to Franky years beforehand. (Off topic but basically they had a plan and Robin landing on Water 7 was just a perk they took advantage of).

The bond she got with Luffy and the crew came from having nowhere else to go after Luffy saved her from killing herself at Alabasta, then was reinforced when she realised her dreams weren’t dead in Skypiea with the revelation that the true history of the void century does exist and she only needs to follow the log to the end of the grand line to find it. Even though it was a small timeframe she was able to build that bond with them, but even still it was clear that not enough had happened for her to ever think the Straw-Hats were any match for the WG.

In-world no one would believe that, this is why the Straw-Hats are the only pirates to ever attack Enies Lobby. Even Yonko crews don’t attack the WG without reason or backup of more than a 6 person crew. Even though they survived in the end, at the time it was a deal to protect the crew at the cost of her life so it made sense.

We can see afterwards that she’s grown out of not believing in them as when they got to Zou, Neko and Duke said she’d be a target for being able to read the Poneglyphs - to which she replied it’ll be fine because she had her crew to protect her.

Her deal made all the sense in the world.

Sanji on the other hand benefitted from a much longer, much deeper experience with Luffy and the crew by the time it came to his ‘ultimate sacrifice’. He was there at Water 7 when the entire crew rejected Robin's reasoning (even Usopp) for leaving the crew. He chased her onto the Government filled Train with no guarantees, no background and no hesitation with the greatest takeaway from that arc being to believe in Luffy. That belief in the captain wasn't there when it came to facing off against a member of the Yonko and protecting his extended family - a huge character step back I think.

Sanji's downfall here was not believing in his crew even after experiencing the other side of things with Robin. Why wouldn’t Luffy come for him? He’s never experienced Big Moms power (not that he needed to) in the same way Robin was traumatised by the WG’s display of power in her childhood. He knows enough about his captain to know Luffy would still challenge Big Mom as Luffy had already said he was planning to challenge each member of the Yonko. He had already challenged Big Mom on Fishman Island and the plan to challenge Kaido was already in motion. I understand challenging both at the same time might make him think it’s a bit much, but I disagree with him not bringing the issue to his crew considering all they had been through. It shows the biggest problem of Sanji not believing in Luffy and the crew.

His Faith Wavered

Protecting Zeff

At the time Sanji made the decision to leave the crew he thought Zeff was in danger, a threat delivered by Big Mom. He also believes Big Mom herself would be an added threat too difficult for the Straw-Hats at this time.

I don’t want us to get bogged down in the details of Big Moms plan. I very much agree with the point that she truly didn’t care about Zeff at the Baratie, she only threatened Zeff to get Sanji to the wedding (A Big Mom Tea Party Invitation Standard) in order to lay the trap for Germa.

But character moments all come from the decisions they make based on the information they have at the time. At the time Sanji made the decision to leave the crew, the threat on Zeff was real enough to him so in Sanji’s mind if he ran from the wedding or challenged Bege and Big Mom she probably would have actioned the threat. To Sanji, his only option here was to go along with the wedding.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Vito informing Sanji about the threat on Zeff, Chapter 813 page 9]

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Baron Tamago of the Big Mom pirates giving Judge the leverage they have over Sanji, Chapter 839 page 12]

Battling Luffy

Sanji understood that by getting married he’d automatically force the Straw-Hats into being subordinates of the Big Mom crew. Initially he thought saying he’d handle it himself would be enough to stop Luffy from coming and by officially leaving the crew he’d absolve them from a fate as underlings similar to the portrayal of Bege at the time. (Going back to my initial point I think this reasoning doesn’t make sense as we all know Luffy's character). This is why after Luffy came after him he tried to make it clearer that he'd left the crew and Sanji did this by fighting Luffy and telling him to leave.

When he battled Luffy (who didn’t fight back) it wasn’t over a huge disagreement and insecurity in his own strength like Usopp's battle with Luffy. In fact if we compare this to Usopp's moment when both he and Luffy got heated and ended in a similar battle of pride/ clashing views I see no reason why Sanjis isn’t as bad.

The Luffy vs Sanji clash came about due to a lack of understanding which came about because Sanji had not been clear in explaining his position and why he made this choice to leave the crew, instead he kicked sand in the face of his crew and captain.

I believe he went too far here, although he deep down had good intentions, I see it as a clear showing disrespect. It was all an act with a brave face from Sanji's point of view and Luffy could tell straight away.

Comparatively, Usopp also put on a brave face with an understandable battle for him to establish his place as a pirate, but it was the challenge of Luffy’s authority in itself that was a showing of disrespect to the captain.

In essence it was a clash of pride where Sanji challenged his captain’s abilities, with the belief that his method of dealing with the issue was right and Luffy’s was wrong.

His Respect Wavered.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji vs Luffy, Chapter 843 page 19]

Returning to the Crew

Redemption is a huge part of character development and usually always comes from a lie the character has told to themselves they battle to make a reality. Any story worth its ink will give us characters with strong traits and equally strong flaws that they later resolve within themselves and grow from.

Sanji had a lot of character development during the WCI arc including accepting his past/background, dealing with the trauma caused by his father, his siblings and the death of his mother, and probably quite importantly, believing in himself, his crew and his captain. But there was one character moment that I feel was flawed enough to reduce the impact of his redemption moment and therefore reduce his standing as a character for me… His reconciliation with Luffy.

During the Arlong Park arc Nami lied about her feelings toward the crew and her village. Her redemption came in the form of saving Usopp from death at the hands of Arlong by stabbing through her hand and facilitating his escape, this showed how much she cared about the crew. And her lie towards the villagers was resolved when her backstory was established and showed her intentions to protect them, the redemption here came the moment she asked Luffy for help and also established her belief in her new Captain.

At Enies Lobby Robin lied about her desire to die so as to not live in a world where no one cares for her and see her as a burden. Her redemption came when she acknowledged she does have a place in the world and had finally found people who care about her. She immediately screamed from the top of her lungs that she wanted to live and in doing so established her new found belief in her crew and Captain.

The segmented parts of Water 7 displayed Usopp's lie about being too weak to be part of a crew of ‘monsters’ along with his fear of being discarded due to his lack of belief in his own abilities and the strength of his friendship/place in the crew. His redemption came when he acknowledged that everyone has something they can do that makes them strong even if it's not physically, and his unyielding resolve to save his crew mates when he tagged along for the mission to rescue Robin. Notice that Usopp's flaws never included losing faith in Luffy, his flaw was always pride and the redemption note for his pride was different to Nami and Robins. Usopp had to apologise, direct and on his knees before he could be fully redeemed as a character.

Sanji's storyline in WCI came with a double whammy. Not only did he show a lack of faith in his captain, he also allowed his pride get in the way of showing respect to his captain. A pirate no go area.

Before overhearing Pudding he was resolved to getting married and living his life with her, but when he found out it was a lie why did this change his resolve of protecting the crew and Zeff. I’d say all other factors *at this point* are exactly the same for Sanji and he had already accepted his death (or a version of it through his freedom and his cooking being taken away).

First, technically Zeff was still in danger as far as he knew. ReijI didn’t say Zeff was safe, she asked him to escape, let Germa die and figure it out [what to do about Zeff] afterwards, her reasoning was Big Mom had no interest in Zeff as long as she got Germa, but Sanji wanted to save both. So in Sanji's mind Zeff is still in danger, but now he has an added problem as he wants to save Germa.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Reiju explains the threat on Zeff still exist unless Big Mom gets Germa, Chapter 852 page 16]

Secondly the crew still can’t challenge Big Mom head on. If he had continued with his plan to go through with the wedding, whether they got married or he was killed, his plan still would have worked. Zeff and the Straw-Hats would be safe. The same way Robin would have died at Enies Lobby and Nami would have given her freedom to forever be part of Arlong's crew. At the cost of Sanji’s life his plan would have worked and made sense.

So should I now take this to mean that he really wasn’t resolved to dying for his ideals. (I’m not saying he should have, the entire point of Luffy’s character is a challenge to this statement, believe in Luffy and he’ll fix it)

But for some reason, the moment he discovers the wedding is a sham and Germa is doomed he decides out of desperation that now is the time to return to the crew and ask Luffy for help. It’s not only hypocritical but it’s shameful and damaged Sanji as a character for me.

During his reconciliation with Luffy I’m sure Sanji acknowledges these points when discussing why he can’t go back but he isn’t held accountable for it.

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji 3 reasons Chapter 856 page 12]

[Eiichiro Oda 'One Piece' (1997) Shueisha Weekly Shonen Jump - Sanji 3 reasons Chapter 856 page 13]

Sanji’s redemption, like Nami and Robin, included a moment where he had to re-establish his belief in Luffy and the rest of the crew. But I argue that his cause for losing faith in Luffy was, in the first place, unwarranted and a step backwards for the character.

And unlike Usopps, his redemption did not include a moment of humility where he would need to swallow his pride and apologise to Luffy for putting his own ideals before his captains.

I know in the end everything worked out but at the time Sanji’s actions didn’t make sense for the character I had come to know throughout the story and there was not enough impact in his redeeming moment to allow me to see the character as he once was. Now he’s just that badass monster fighter on the crew and he’ll forever be removed from my list of favourite Straw-Hats. Black Leg Sanji.