#this is the last i'll say of this for the time being bc i have such low energy atm
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So, this week's episode...
[spoilers below cut]
WOW, a Mario Reacts! It's been a long time, hasn't it? Hell yeah, I can work with this!
(no bc seriously, I just finished watching ep. 7 of Arcane before this and I need an emotional break, yeah I know the rest of Act 3 is gonna kill me)
(the following is my live reaction:)
oh hey, Mario! Wassup?
jigsaw, is that you?
oh nvm, hello Swag! nice to see you again since last episode
I'm about to commit a crime [*strikes a pose then walks away*]
I'm willing to work in a government office just so I can come up with an acronym like, gee idk, Y.U.R.I. or something (I should've been a worker in NASA)
NO STOP STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?!
At this point, Mario, I would just give up
[*clears throat*] mejor me muero, ni modo que sigo con estos porquerías. bueno como dice Mario, bye bye [*drinks some water*] alright I'm back
TADC? ah, just a normal Saturday
no thoughts, head empty
honestly, mood
well, in his own way, yeah
[*echoes announcer voice*] VR, the new era of entertainment
...mr puzzles? nah jk jk
oh, Four's theory may not be wrong here (omg it's jesus)
still can't believe christianity is canon in the SMG4 universe
oh, so I was right! [*jigsaw voice*] "I wanna play a game."
That's actually kinda sweet that he immediately chooses his brother
OH SHIT OOOOH that's gotta hurt
NO MARIO, THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME
[*other me pops in*] emo girlfriend, omg it's smg3
no, we're NOT gonna look too much into this, shut up other me
PPFFFTTT that caught me so off guard
say it with me now: YOU CAN'T CONTROL MARIO [*applause*]
I mean, we've been through simulations before, we can take this one too
unironically, I wouldn't mind a 10-hour video of just Mario (and/or the rest of the Crew) just dancing :)
it doesn't even need to have music, I can just put my playlist on and I would totally join in
ooooh, you want to scan that QR code so badly
but also, how did they get a screenshot of my computer?
Mario 🤝 Mario Buddy from the last episode → destroying PCs for the LOLs
AKLDHLKSAFB;KL just the way Mario goes for a fighting stance just so he could run away will never not be funny to me
LET ME IN LET ME INNNNNNNNN
10 hours, welp I got my wish lmao
Mario morphing his face... hmmmm..... [*flashback noises*]
[SMG4: MAR10 Day]
....
don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it
KIRBO NOOOOOOOOO
NO NO NO SWAG NO
same vibes
meme factory? youtube arc? is that you? /j
(yeah I know that the Team uses the same assets ik)
LET'S DO THISSSS oh welp time to vibe
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
what would that be, Swag? Try not to Laugh challenge? I might win tbh
LET'S GO GAMBLING
laughing because of early victory call? very in character for Swag
oooh that's some good animation (y'know, as always)
HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE
am i thinking too much into this or is this the same military base from last episode?
Alright, my little headcanon: the events of this episode and the last one took place on the exact same day
that's just for me specifically
oh hey, more TADC ref
Also, nice PINGAS STUCK IN A DOOR ref
man Mario can't catch a break dude
Congrats to CMorseu for your art being featured at the end credits 🎉
.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.
Such a good episode! Not plot-heavy, just a silly episode. I'll gladly take it as my late birthday present. And it's great to have Swag back, kinda was half-expecting Chris to just pop out.
I've said this once and I'll say it again: I wouldn't mind if the rest of the year is just filled with goofy episodes. After all, we just came from WOTFI and we do need a bit of a break so the Team could work on the next arc. (From the looks of things, we might get goop!4 *cough cough*)
Loved the bits of animation and Mario's expressions as always.
Now, I know there is some talk about the SMG4 Crew/Mario Does Things being on hiatus and merging with the Saturday videos. If you can even call it that. Personally, I don't mind it. I completely understand if doing 2 episodes per week is a lot for the Team to handle, though I do wish they would give an explanation for it. I think the best solution would be for the Team making an announcement of the change, the reasons behind it, and how it may be different from the regular Saturday episodes. Also make it clear that "hey, the title says this so it doesn't impact the main storyline".
Anyway, it has been overall a pretty funny episode and I quite enjoyed it! Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna cry my eyes out watching the rest of Arcane Act 3 and bring that angst to the next episode concept :)
OH THE MISERY EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY ENEMYYYYYYY
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Azula inadvertently begins a working class revolution because she challenges all suitors to an agni kai and raises the stakes.
Zuko is running out of nobles and disgruntled common folk take that as an opportunity to rise up and take over some provinces.
Half the cabinet wants to send in the army but they also know how bad it's gonna look, you know, internationally.
Azula catches on and thinks it's hilarious. She issues challenges to any and all firebending nobles.
Even if she loses Zuzu is fucked and she has the last laugh.
Zuko changes the law so that Katara can fight her and stop her. He does not realize the implication.
Katara and Azula have a masterful and impressive duel that goes on for hours. They both end up exhausted but refuse to call it a draw.
So they fight the next day, and every day after because neither is giving ground.
By the 12th match Zuko is like: just bloodbend her.
Katara: i tried but she can shoot lightning from her mouth and I can't get a grip.
Azula, now with growing respect towards Katara: In all fairness if the duel was at night, she might win.
So they agree and they fight at midnight.
Katara wins, barely and not without half her body being stunned by electricity.
Azula just asks her when she should propose.
Katara has the realization that Zuko neglected to mention that fact. She goes off on Zuko.
Azula laughs the hardest she has in years. She asks Katara to talk.
Azula: So I wanna apologize to you, for the whole trying to kill you to force Zuzu into a corner. And the whole war thing. I should have practiced this.
Katara: wait what?
Azula: Is it one big apology or does it need to be itemized?
Katara: ...
Azula: I'm also sorry for killing the avatar.
Katara: So you're actually sorry. Like for real regret it.
Azula: Yes.
Katara: why?
Azula: Because the war made no sense. I believed in it when i was younger. I was taught to. It was rewarded. Iroh lost a son. Zuzu got banished. One way or another something pushed them away from the nation's influence. I didn't have anything like that.
Katara, shooketh: What are you trying to say?
Azula: that I am what Zuzu was supposed to be. What any of us would have become if we were raised that way. I didn't begin to question it until i was defeated.
Katara: So, what now?
Azula: Don't worry about the marriage thing, I'll handle it. Not in any bad way... Do I always sound like I'm threatening someone?
Katara: Uh yeah, all the time. Last night you grabbed a tray of mochis and told them you were going to consume them.
Azula: You give sea prunes the same look.
Katara: Okay fair, but back to you not being all evil anymore...
Azula: I'll help Zuzu tidy up, make sure he gets the glory. He's gonna need the public's approval, half the nobles have disgraced heirs, the other half are scared.
Katara: and all of this because you didn't want to marry some guy you could have easily killed after.
Azula: I didn't wanna marry a guy, first of all. And secondly, assasination like that is such a hassle. Plus poisons were my mother's thing...
Katara: wait what?
Azula: Zuzu didn't tell you, she poisoned Azulon because Ozai tried to skip over Iroh when he lost my cousin. Azulon ordered Zuko's death.
Katara: Is your whole family this fucked up?
Azula: Yes. I thought that was established.
So they actually start to bond while Zuko goes on a tour to garner public goodwill.
Aang comes in. Azula apologizes awkwardly.
Toph finds the whole thing hilarious and asks Katara if she likes Azula.
Katara is like, I mean she's really weird but it makes sense and she's making a lot of progress not being evil. Cue an hour of gushing.
Azula meanwhile realizes that if she gives up her title the whole marriage thing goes away. She abdicates the title and tells Katara.
Toph: So you didn't wanna marry Katara?
Azula: Not like this.
Azula realizes what she just blurted that out and runs off. She runs face first into Katara and apologizes. Katara is all weirded out bc this isn't regular Azula behavior.
They do have a conversation about her abdicating. Katara is surprised and opens up more. Azula asks her how she doesn't have vengeful feelings about the fire nation.
They have a heart to heart and end up talking all day.
Eventually Katara and Toph head home and Azula asks if she can send Katara letters...
What if Zuko tried putting Azula in an arranged marriage? What would be his motivation and her reaction?
I can easily see his motive being getting her out of the line of succession if he doesn't trust her at all. Now as far as Azula's reaction goes, she'd more than likely be pissed off and would try to find a way out of it.
#atla#avatar the last airbender#atla fanfic#atla azula#atla katara#atla toph#atla mai#azula's accidental redemption#kazula#gloomybadger#azutara
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Actually all gravity falls shipping wars in back when the show was airing were hilarious. i once saw two ppl arguing abt wether pinecest or stancest was better like guys i think its better if we just throw both of you into the bottomless pit forever
#mabcifica wasn't mainstream until like 2019 which left dipcifica raining supreme on the pacifica front#but the billdips and dipcificas were ALWAYS at eachothers throats#oh yeah and wendip too of course. it was just this trifecta of fighting#and everyone would be screaming and throwing chairs and shit snd then someone in the back would go 'i ship stan and goldie :)'#and for just a moment the fighting would stop bc everyone agreed that was endgame..... and then the candips would show up#like candips never did anything to anyone but bc they liked roadside attraction in 2016 they were actually hellspawn to everyone#candips were caught in the crossfire of rage. shoutout to all the 2016 candip shippers you deserved better#i know i saw mabill stuff a couple times but it had absolutely no impact on anything. net 0 change#like i said in that last post once the finale aired everyone kinda just. stopped fighting bc there was So Much Happening#there's a real life bill statue somewhere out there we can't be wasting our time here#but i think actually maybe blubsland going canon killed it all too. like we all agreed that was a huge win for everyone#we all put aside our differences for just a moment to applaud The Gay Cops#'they were disneys first gay couple' WRONG goat and a pig#all this to say shipping wars are dumb and if someone's being gross just kill them or something idk#you don't have to make a whole big thing outta it just block them and move on fighting isn't worth it#it is funny in hindsight tho. and if fiddauthors wanna start a war with billfords i'll be watching from the sidelines with popcorn#sassy speaks#gf
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i know no standard i set will be uniform and not everyone will view it the same way i do. and i can't stop these sorts of submissions from coming in, but i can make my own decisions about what is and isn't acceptable to me and put in effort to do a more thorough vetting process
edit: okay one more thing, me choosing to not include characters is not some ultimate signal of morality, it's just based on me and my own beliefs. this is a dumb gimmick blog, and ultimately i'm going to prioritize my own comfort and boundaries before getting involved in discourse that i, quite frankly, don't think i have the ability to speak about in the way that i think it should be spoken about
#this is the last i'll say of this for the time being bc i have such low energy atm#i may go through and delete other polls as i feel necessary and like. if i'm honest i would rather this gimmick blog not be the center#of these sorts of complex conversations because i do not have the ability to adequately word it#i get the point these conversations are making but i am not someone who is well versed or energized enough to have them#if you want to make a blog with the same gimmick and have those conversations i say go for it. do what i can't
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#shedinja#now THIS is what i'm talkin' about! i love shedinja. i think it's a very unique pokémon and wonder guard is very *cool* if only it were ever#y'know. relevant. this thing is weak to way too many types for it to be relevant but like it's still cool in concept i think#you kinda can't tell what it is from this angle but that's why you have me here to tag it so you do know what it is#so. bit of a life update for you all. i accidentally deleted some semi-important files i needed for work. like two weeks ago#and i didn't realize i did‚ bc they were inside a folder that i deleted. but i didn't need the files at the time and i hadn't for months#i hadn't used those files since like last year. but now i need them again and i just realized that i deleted them two weeks ago#by accident? and now i need them again. to be able to do my work. so i'm actually queueing this guy and the next guy up#while i'm supposed to be working. as i've just sent an email to my boss being like Haha Hey. Do you Have a Backup of tHese Files……… PLease#and i'm hoping DESPERATELY that she does. if she doesn't i'll have to fucking reverse engineer them which i am not excited for#if it comes to fruition. so i'm just hoping she has a copy of them. feelin like shedinja against a fire-type rn fr i swear#i'll let you all know what she says when i get her response. if i get it before i'm done queuing up shedinja and whismur#spoilers. whismur is next but you could just look up the natdex numbers. and know that whismur is next#also don't tell me to look in the trash. on my computer. i know they're not there. for one i checked and for two they couldn't be there#because i rm -r'd the folder. i didn't just right-click delete that shit. i killed that shit. it's GONE#you might be asking me… why would you do that! and i would say? i did not know these files were in there#you didn't ask for all this information so i'm cutting it off here
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My favorite works in no particular order:
Tipsy Tales (Anemo Boys)
Symbiosis (Ayato)
What Destiny Has Brought (Fischl)
Hello How Are You (Gorou)
Follow the Wind II (Kazuha)
Of the Same Coin (Mika)
Songs of the Wind (Venti)
Nothing Lasts Forever (Yae Miko)
Sharing a Drink They Call Loneliness (Zhongli)
Of Hopes and Prayers (Zhongli)
#about me#it actually is a coincidence that majority are from different characters and not the same#so in like manner as another list i gave a while back i shall give fun facts about each#tipsy tales - one day i will update the post to include wanderer and will not tell anyone or reblog it#symbiosis - one of my favorite readers. i just like the way they speak. i dont have a full story planned for them as of yet#what destiny has brought - in truth i cannot stand fischl. she annoys me. i only wrote this bc i wanted her to stop being so delusional#hello how are you - tbh i only like this bc i think i absolutely nailed the voice and characterization. one day i will write a sequel#follow the wind ii - probably my all time favorite work. features one of the few kisses i have ever written.#(cont) but it cant be understood without reading the first chapter and my thoughts on kazuha as a character#of the same coin - i'll be honest i just think this is cute. i think this fic has one of my highest reblog to notes ratios#songs of the wind - the vibes are good with this one. like the first chapter has good vibes but this chapter is even better. very warm#nothing lasts forever - i wanted to write yae in a moment of weakness. i think i did a good job#sharing a drink they call loneliness - the amateurness of the writing now makes me wince but.... the catharsis and ending is still top notch#(cont) i had a point i wanted to make with this fic and smashed it out of the ballpark#of hopes and dreams - probably the most romantic fic in the series and its a deleted scene lmao. still like how i wrote it though#i forgot to say that these arent necessarily my best written fics#they're just the fics i personally like the best#honorable mentions are:#telling them off (ayato)#completely covered in red (ayato)#simple (alhaitham)#follow the wind i (another one i completely nailed the voice and characterization for in my humble opinion)#secret identities and whatnot (venti/xiao)#indulgence (wriothesley)#slitherer-outer (zhongli)#i know i'm kinda feeling myself in this post but nobody is gonna read it anyway except for u slo so i'm fine with that <3
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The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.
#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there#im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold#at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire#theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade#of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about#the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc#its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a#metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm#just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long#sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone#its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it#everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much#damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i#collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells#me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my#wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im#excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it#feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun#is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's#what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy#but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire#unrelated#hm i should maybe add a tw to this#tw self injury#but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life#but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it
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I am enjoying red hood: the hill, but it's kind of driving me crazy how after they did all that shit in Gotham War, they immediately tried to sweep it under the rug with joker: the man who stopped laughing (even tho the issue wasn't really resolved over there), and now giving Jason a series set in the past so it doesn't have to deal with the fallout...DC please...
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#I heard someone say that the next installment of dc vs vampires is seemingly the last thing Matthew Rosenberg has lined up at DC#which is a shame bc after reading his red hood: gotham war tie-in issues i think he has a pretty decent handling on Jason#the complicated and oft times contradictory line he walks between what violence is necessary and what isn't#but his sympathetic elements and charm are still on display#sigh. i need to read task force z don't i#one day I'll read under the red hood in full to get a taste of full on villain!jason#if i stick w/ GA past the phsycial volume i own I'm bound to come across him again and see if ppl are being normal abt the mia thing#idk I think jason as a character has somewhat suffered due to the fact that his character development was very much connected-#-w the n52 reboot#which worked at the time but now that a lot of that continuity is being brought back#it's making ppl realise that we didn't get a true ''jason putting aside differences to try and work w/ the batfamily'' arc or moment#although I do remember him being anti-heroic in the final crisis tie-in?? with kyle and donna right????#i honestly think jason just needs a bit of tlc and introspection and this new storybeat provides a cool outlet for that#(someone talk to me about my red hood idea/pitch pretty pleasseee)#and definitely some cleaning up of his continuity (maybe after some more universe altering events. sigh)#but instead of hopping right on that when they have the opportunity we're getting an (admittedly fun) flashback series#in which jason is more of a co-star than headliner#bwahhh
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that last post has nothing to do with what happened last night btw (<- BIGGEST LIE I'VE TOLD ALL YEAR). i definitely did not spend like half an hour thinking about what Guz would say if i told him about the situation, in an attempt avoid spiralling about it for any longer than i already had (a few hours had already gone into perseverating on the msg that person had sent by that point -_-). i was definitely really normal about it and did not cry bc i felt like i'd done smth wrong by just existing as a they/them in the world, even though i'd done my best to make myself more palatable to that group by saying they could use whatever pronouns if they/them was too difficult.... um. i think i need to grow a spine actually. 0-0;;
#dandy.cmd#vent //#I'M GOOD I'M FINE I'M NORMAL.#still irritated w myself for being so badly affected by it bc i genuinely have had waaay worse experiences irl some very scary stuff#but like. i suppose just the fact that it was so unexpected is why it hurt so badly#plus the fact that the person who invited me in there and who i know irl didn't say anything SIGHHH OH WELL i can't expect a lot rly#she is an anxious person and has some troubles socializing so like. i am cutting her some slack for that.#plus she did DM me to thank me for saying smth when i first sent the msgs in the convo. she just. hasn't said anything abt the response.#so. i will take the win i can from that and cut my losses and move on. this is the last post i'll make here abt this whole thing sorry yall#i have a hard time moving past certain things fdsjkl but im going to do my best to just focus on other things now o7
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don't tell the others but she's my new favorite
#again pls don't let the others know#they're not ready to know yet#barbie#dolls#living barbie doll 1968 my beloved#the clothes are actually not barbie they're a mod clone from around the same time lol#they might actually be for a male doll they're so loose i'm not even sure. i like them anyway#they need to be flattened out tho bc as you can see there are some deep wrinkles#maybe i'll lay them under a book#she's who i wish to be#i'm putting myself on an ebay ban for the time being tho bc i've gone a bit crazy in the last month lol#when i next get a doll i'm probably gonna hunt for a titian stacey. since i have original ponytail barbie in midge in red hair#i need the tnt era barbie to have a contemporary friend. but also w red hair#all of my dolls will be redheads bc they live in a better world than i do#also don't mind my shitty lighting. my room has shitty lighting#idk how else to say it#there's just one lamp and the walls are dark
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Thinking about the gay Mormon kid I met in middle school and how all the other Mormons were convinced he was gay-faking and actually straight
#mormon children are so funny they be like ''if someone hears me say fuck i could be disowned and excommunicated. i support u being gay tho#i'll always support you the way you are'' <- actual unironic convos i had with my mormon friend in 5th grade#like days apart first she was like i can never swear and then when i came out to my class as bi#she was the Nicest straight person about it like of course the other girls who were questioning or already knew were supportive#straight kids had a more diverse opinion on it lol but this mormon girl got me she was so good#definitely part of my gay awakening bc i spent months being like ''i cant be bi bc if i was i would have a crush on Her. but i dont''#''i only feel this way bc she has beautiful red hair and freckles which i adore and she is super sweet to me. thats not gay''#and this went on for 3 months and then i had a wet dream about a different girl and i was like OH. well the evidence is growing#wow these tags have nothing to do with this gay mormon kid lololol nothing much to say about him#i didnt know him very well tbh like we spoke a little bit and he did come out to me but most of what i learned about him was rumors#and def i feel like he got the typical gay kid treatment of being ostracized lied about and picked on#idk why you would choose to subject urself to that if u arent ssa like it is not easy to be out in this area#its maybe not Dangerous bc more people are coming out every year but its certainly still viewed as a severe sin#its not seen as a neutral thing by mosr churches although several churches have sprung up that specifically welcome and accept lgbt people#thats a super interesting divide to me bc i Still meet christians who cant even hear about gay people without talking#about how sad gayness is and how gay souls are in danger and the last time i ever visited a church the sermon was homophobic#yet the city decorates for pride every year and even certain churches will decorate for it#the culture is certainly changing lolol but as long as there are ''gay love is sodomy'' christians around here#then its always going to be a struggle for lgb youth bc they are straight up hostile
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i'm working on the next wwaitsoatl chapter, which as i've previously mentioned is by FAR my most involved story as far as, like, technical process goes. i finished the second draft of the chapter and went "god, wow, this is all shit, this all sucks so bad, i'm never gonna be able to make anything usable out of this" and then stepped away for a few hours and now i'm midway through the first editing pass and i just keep going "oh my god. oh my god. holy Shit this is gonna bang so fucking hard once i fix it all. oh this is gonna go so hard there's so much potential. fuck YES oh my GOD my HORRIBLE LITTLE BITCHES ARE BACK-"
#the 'this is shit. this is awesome. i am shit. i am awesome. this is shit. i am awesome' process. it will repeat several more times#eda is saying some of the worst things she can possibly think of to darius. it's messy. it's delightful.#think like. princess AU hunter and amity terrorism except more justified more neurotic and more middle-aged#i don't know when i'll finish this chapter bc like i said. editing takes hours and hours and HOURS. but.#i like being excited about this story again. for months it's been making me horrifically anxious but now i'm like YES GOD. YES#(the anxiety wasnt bc of the story itself it was just bc. uh. i'm diseased and scared i can't measure up anymore)#(in terms of writing quality. i don't want this story to have a game of thrones nosedive in quality just bc my immune system is fucked.)#(nothing worse than over 1300 subscribers being able to peg your cognition declining. but i'm feeling a lot better these days so.)#(fingers crossed.)#toh#i don't know how many people are even gonna come back to read it since the show's been over for 9 months and it's been#that long since the last update too. ppl who conceived children when i last updated are having their babies right now.#but. if some of u guys are still sticking around. that will be enough <3
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Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience ❤
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
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The love/hate relationship with my coworkers is so real lmao like why are they like this
#not snz#I'm just having fun#tho there has been sneezing bc there's so much fucking dust everywhere#I've been at the station for a hot minute#bc most of our guys are still out on fires#so there's just like nobody here#and i like money so I'm vibing with getting paid for being here extra days#but there's just a few of us here rn and we have like nothing to do bc we're hardly getting assignments#so we're just fucking around#and i have like the first responder version of cards against humanity#so we're playing that to kill the time and it's great lmao#but also some of them were asking me random questions#bc apparently the answers and explanations you give say somrthing about you idk#it was some bullshit but we were having fun with it#but the way they were laughing at every single answer i gave like hello#you fucking asked lmao#the nerve tho when they asked for an animal i like and three reasons why#and then said that that's how people view me and scream laughed bc 'it's accurate' like bro fuck off lmao#but i am having a good time like i adore these guys#they drive me crazy but that's my second family right there#plus with all the free time we get I've been trying different recipes and so far no complaints lmao#made a pasta dish tonight that was a big hit bc literally everything was from scratch incuding the noodles#like that's how much time we have lmao#anyway tonight is my last night at the station then i can go home which is a relief#we've all been sleeping on the floor and couches lmao#there are bunkhouses but the women's quarters are unusable so we're all staying in the rec building instead#i told them it was fine and they could stay in the bunkhouse but they were appalled by the suggestion lmao#so we're all vibing rn watching tv and I've literally never felt like I've belonged somewhere more so I'm thriving#anyway I'll probably delete this later I'm just happy rn lmao
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wanna play the sims soooo baaaaad but bg3 takes up so much space I can't update it </3 maybe I'll ask N to help me clean out some stuff bc I simply Do Not Know things about computers lmao
#rAMbles#I'm also mourning my laptop that stopped working three years ago again#mostly bc i had so many interesting academic pdfs saved that i didn't appreciate in college and want to read again#i gotta try to remember that one website that has SOOOO many experimental films on it that i used my university's library login for...#i wonder if I'd still have access to it#maybe I'll reach out to my old professor and ask if he has any new site recommendations#j**** r******* you will forever be one of the best professors I've ever had!!!!#omg one day we just drew on 10ft of 35mm and he played it through a projector.. man that was a cool day#lemme dig up my notes from that class and research all the artists he shared again..#I'm thinking about his notes saying the work i created in his class was on par with grad level work and... auuuughhh i miss making video art#i was so spoiled using 4k cameras and professional mics and access to several video editing programs#time to ask N to find me rips of them i think :) i loved editing i was just too high and depressed in college to make more work#ugh maybe I'll ask my friend if i can use her mac so i can transfer some work i have on my mac only harddrive onto a flashdrive.. hmm...#okay rambling done i just really miss being a video artist#i lied last thought.. i really want to make a documentary again#OKAY BYE
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The fucking disconnect is so real.
#theo's thoughts#Story time for the people who love reading tags bc I love sharing things in the tags#So I work at a therapeutic day school and this past school year like four school days before Thanksgiving break I was asked a question#The question was if I would be willing to step up and be a long term sub in a middle school classroom#To me this was less of a question and more of a hey we need someone to do this and you're who the assistant teacher asked for#Which cool yeah fine I'll give it a go I really like that person (the assistant teacher who asked for me) and I trust her judgement on this#I was asked and accepted on Thursday. Friday‚ Monday‚ and Tuesday happen. Then three day Thanksgiving break#When we got back from break I was the teacher and it was rough at first and it sure as hell was never easy but I enjoyed it#My formal teacher observation was my boss basically going like so I see you doing all the things and the basis is there#But it's not being followed through on because of behaviors from the most unmedicated classroom I've seen in all my years working education#And now for the summer they're changing 2/3 staff that were in the room and who even knows who the teacher will be (a new hire? Maybe?)#If there truly is a new hire coming in (fed to the wolves immediately btw what a dick move) but that new hire will be the fourth teacher#These kids have had in a year? A year and a half max. The fourth. After the only thing I've been repeatedly told by admin for months#Is that we need to be stable and consistent because we may be these kids' only reliable source of that consistency and stability?#So you're going to have me come in and tell me I've done such a great job and then tell me you're moving me to 'give me a break'#Trauma informed care my fucking ass. I hope those kids raise fucking hell over it.#The brutal satisfaction of watching your own crops burn and knowing that the invaders will starve is great and all but these are kids!#They're barely just about to be teenagers (11 at the youngest and 14 at the oldest) and this is what you're going to do to them?#Yes they can be complete assholes and are often dicks to one another but they're in our school for a fucking reason? I don't get it.#Then two hours later after being told abt the change‚ the clinical director puts me as one of the three main recipients in an email#Saying that there's going to be a new student starting in that room in the summer and the real icing on the cake?#This all happens on last day before summer break. we're out of session for two weeks now and you're just dropping these changes on us now?#God I'm so fucking tired
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