#this is the first time I've liked a man lol

[zepskies]

Wowowow!! 😍 First of all, thanks so much. You really spoiled me with this review and it totally made my day!

I find it really interesting that this fic is the first one you've read from me, since it's such a "niche" pairing. But I love that you loved it (and my writing 🥰)!! Christmas is my favorite holiday too -- in no small part because of the food! lol I had fun incorporating my family's traditions into this one, and of course, feeding Dean. 😆

Diving into the rest of your amazing (and hilarious) comments below!

(you should know as I'm typing this I am daydreaming about the flan, you should just straight up know that LOL)

Giiiirl, get you some flan! My mom makes it so good. I can't wait for the holidays. 😮‍💨

I am happily being led while pushing Dean out of the way to get to it first. Lovingly of course lol.

lolll I'm dead! I can picture Dean's (playful) outrage. 😂

Not going to lie, I'd be giving Sam a little bit of the stink eye myself. What is so wrong with Dean enjoying himself a little? Besides...give me ALL the flan!!! Sam doesn't know what he's missing.

Right? Don't bother the man on Christmas lmao. Sam ate plenty on this round too, he has no room to judge! 😆

This right here is perfection. It made my heart break for Dean as well as Sam for their childhood, what Dean had to sacrifice at times to take care of Sam, how Sam never realized it before...just so perfectly written and so on point.

Aww thank you. It was an HC of mine that stemmed from bits we got of their childhood, and that one ep where someone was like, "You ever been hungry? Like haven't eaten in days, hungry?" And Dean was like, "Yeah..." 😭😭

I feel like from Sam's POV, he would never have known hunger with Dean around, even when things were tight and they were waiting on John.

Moments like this are worth melting for. 😉 (seriously though, I'm pretty sure I have to call someone to get the wetvac to get me up off of the floor)

LOLL honestly same! Oh for Dean to gather me to his chest in a warm snuggle. 🫠🫠

The whole ending scene just makes my heart glad, especially with her offering to go for a walk with Dean, most likely keeping in mind what Sam said (while Sam is keeping what she said in mind - like I said, perfection!) , but I especially loved the ending sequence right here:

Ahhh you caught what I was laying down there! She cares about Dean's health, but she also cares about his happiness. While Sam's now going to be taking what she said into account and try to have a convo with his brother about it in the future.

Ahaha and he so DOES wear shorts when the need arises! 😏

This was just beyond sweet and it was something I very much needed back when I read through it the first time. (I'm sorry I didn't leave feedback until now! I'm trying to be better about that these days) I love the way you write the Winchesters and this one shot cemented you as one of my favorite writers I've come across in this fandom (as well as a few others 😉).

Aww I'm so glad this little fic could give you some much needed escapism. (It's ok, friend. I'm just grateful that you did!) And that's an amazing compliment, thank you!! I'm honored to be counted as one of your favorites! 😭💜

I definitely cannot wait to dive into the Midnight Espresso verse and get more of these two. You did a beautiful job here, lovely!!! Well done!!! 😊💖💖

I would absolutely love it if you delved deeper into the Midnight Espresso verse!! It's a passion series of mine, so it really means that much more to me that you enjoyed it, as well as left such a heartfelt review. 💕

Get Stuffed

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-sized Latina!Reader

Summary: Dean enjoys the way you cook Christmas dinner with a Latin flair, even if Sam likes to tease him about his insatiable appetite. You remind Sam about the true reason behind one of Dean’s biggest quirks.

AN: This was requested by my lovely friend @iprobablyshipit91: Sam making the usual digs at Dean about his diet, and how much he eats, and the reader pulling him aside and telling him to back off as he doesn’t realize how much Dean went hungry as a kid to make sure Sam was fed.

Word Count: 1,800 Tags/Warnings: Fluff, innuendo, tinge of angst

**This story can be read as stand-alone, but you can also check out the full masterlist of one-shots below. ⤵️

☕ Midnight Espresso Masterlist

“Aw, hell yeah,” Dean mutters. He rubs his hands together and surveys the immovable feast that’s about to get shoveled into his mouth.

This Christmas marks roughly your first year living with the brothers Winchester in the bunker, and a few months after your first anniversary with Dean.

He’s made it very clear that he enjoys your cooking, especially of Cuban food. So you’ve gone all out for Christmas: white rice and your grandmother’s recipe for black beans, boiled yuca with plenty of garlic, bread drizzled with more garlic and olive oil, and Dean’s favorite…

“What’s this part of the pig called again?” he asks. And he uses a large fork to spear into the mountain of roasted meat that you’ve already cut and piled onto a platter.

You come in from the kitchen with the bread in hand, placing it on the dinner table. You sidle up behind him, where he's seated.

“The shoulder,” you say, squeezing both of Dean’s. He hums in interest as you press a kiss to the side of his head. “It’s called pernil. Marinated with garlic, mojo, bunch of good stuff.”

He predictably steals a juicy piece of meat, plopping it into his mouth. He grins while he chews and makes a happy sound.

“Ohoho, yeah.”

You share an amused look with Sam, who sits beside his brother. By the time you’ve found your seat on Dean’s other side, he’s already serving you and Sam the same hefty portions he serves himself.

You know for a fact you’re only going to eat about half of your plate. Sam manages to polish his off. Dean does as well…and serves himself twice more before you break out the dessert.

“Please tell me that’s a flan,” Dean says, drumming his fingers on the table.

“How the hell are you still hungry?” Sam asks.

The look on his face says he’s half entertained, half disgusted. Dean is still sucking on the crispy skin on a piece of pork. He licks the juices off his fingers.

“Have I taught you nothing?” he says. “There’s always room for dessert.”

He tosses you a wink, followed closely by a suggestive smirk. You glance at him with a smile as you set down the metal pan.

“It is a flan,” you affirm. “I tried my hand at coconut this time.”

“Ooh, tropical,” Dean says, waggling greasy fingers. He wipes them on a napkin before he reaches for the pie cutter, which is usually reserved for his favorite dessert. Although, flan is rapidly becoming his second go-to. The rich custardy goodness is calling to him like a siren song.

“How can I get you to make this more often?” Dean mutters while carving out a generous slice.

Your lips curve. You rest your chin on your hand and lean towards him, earning his gaze. “If I made it all the time, you wouldn’t savor it, now would you?”

Dean smirks. His gaze lowers to your lips, like he’s contemplating some persuasive maneuvers.

“You’d also be 300 pounds,” Sam remarks, taking a sip of his beer.

You eye Sam with a frown. But Dean just laughs it off and cuts his little brother a slice.

By the end of the meal, all three of you are stuffed. Dean groans and leans back in his seat. A gurgle mounts audibly from his stomach.

“Jesus. Are you erupting?” Sam says.

Dean holds up a finger. “Wait for it.”

You give your boyfriend a bemused look. You know exactly what’s about to happen. As does Sam, who’s grimacing.

A few seconds later, Dean does erupt, with a truly legendary belch.

“Nice,” you say wryly. Dean squeezes your soft, thick thigh and backs his chair away from the table.

“Well, since I roasted the pig and you did the rest, I’d say it’s Sammy’s turn on cleaning duty,” he says.

“Thanks,” Sam says, with a wan smile. Yours is more jovial, even as Dean’s hand toys with a curl of your hair after he stands.

“I’m gonna shower off the meat sweats,” he says.

You giggle, but you nod. “You do that. I’ll help Sam a bit, put away the food at least.”

Your smile becomes more genuine when Dean drops a kiss on your forehead from above.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says. His voice is a quiet, deep rumble washing over you. You know what he’s thanking you for: good food, and a small, but warm Christmas.

You reach up and give his cheek a tender touch, before he withdraws and makes his way to the bedroom he shares with you. It leaves you and Sam to collect what’s on the table and bring it all into the kitchen. While Sam does the dishes, you start to put away the leftovers.

Something has been nagging at you all night, though you’ve tried to stamp it down time and time again. You don’t know if it's your place to say something. Especially if Dean doesn’t seem bothered…but it bothers you. And you’ve never been one to hold your tongue.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” you begin, even as a small bit of trepidation niggles inside you.

Sam looks over at you. He’s quick to catch the serious note in your demeanor.

“Yeah, what’s up?” he replies. You okay? his eyes also ask.

“Why do you get on Dean so much for enjoying his food?” you ask.

Sam blinks. Then he scoffs a little. “There’s enjoying, and then there’s gluttony.”

“He’s not that bad,” you argue.

“He ate half his weight in pig,” Sam says. You can’t exactly deny that, but you cross your arms and turn to him, leaning your hip against the counter.

“So? It’s Christmas. Let him be happy,” you retort.

Sam levels you with pinched brows. “He’s not in his 20s anymore. All that crap he eats is going to catch up to him someday.”

“What, you expect him to down some kale smoothies?” you reply, giving a pointed brow raise and a teasing smile. “Get up at the crack of dawn for a bare-chested run?”

Sam shoots you a dry look.  

“My point is, I’m not gonna survive hundreds of monster attacks just to get taken down by cholesterol,” he says.

You sigh a raise a placating hand. “All right. I get what you’re saying. I’m just saying…have you ever thought about why he loves food so much? Why he overindulges sometimes?”

Sam's brow quirks. It’s a question you know you need to tread lightly in order to answer. You uncross your arms to lay a hand on Sam’s wrist. He stops washing dishes and turns off the sink to give you his full attention, sensing your shift.

You look up at him, and you steel yourself.

“He might’ve mentioned once…that you two sometimes had a hard time growing up. With John taking you guys from motel to motel while he was working a job, and every now and then, leaving you guys alone longer than he meant to.”

Dean had been more than a bit drunk when you’d gotten this out of him. Hearing about that aspect of his upbringing had upset you, not just as someone who cared about him, but the caretaker in you smarted.

“Even though you guys didn’t have enough money at times, your brother always made sure you were fed,” you explain. You meet Sam’s gaze, squeezing his arm. “Sometimes he went without.”

Sam’s expression slowly slackens, contemplative and dismayed at what you’re implying. He dries his hands on a kitchen towel and rubs at his mouth, like he’s reeling back the years of evidence in his mind and trying to confirm if you were right.

“You don’t remember?” you gently ask.

Sam shakes his head. “I mean, I knew things were tight. I remember him taking care of me, obviously. But…”

He doesn’t remember his brother going hungry.

It carves a hole of remorse in his chest.

This isn’t the first time he’s had to reexamine Dean’s role in his life, and not the first time he’s felt this flavor of guilt. But he sighs and really doesn’t know what to say.

You seem to realize that, and you squeeze his arm one last time.

“Just keep that in mind,” you implore.

You soon leave him to venture upstairs, but there in the kitchen, Sam makes a resolution before the new year. One that includes having a conversation with his brother.

You find Dean in your bedroom. Now in his most threadbare sweatpants and an old black shirt, he lays over the covers on the bed. His eyes are closed and his arms are folded behind his head, but he hears you when you come in.

You slide into bed next to him and lay your head on his chest. He groans deep and slowly lowers his arms. One of them wraps around your frame.

“Think I overdid it a bit,” he admits, cracking his eyes open. You smile and gently pat his stomach. 

“Wanna go for a walk tomorrow?” you ask. “We can go down to the park.”

Dean raises a brow at you. “You hate walking.”

“Not true,” you shake your head, before you rest more comfortably against him. He tucks you in beside him and begins to run his fingers down your arm. It’s a bit distracting.

“Could be nice, with the right view,” you add, though you shiver a little at his touch.

Dean makes a sound of mild interest in the idea. “I guess, if you like stringy trees and frozen lakes.”

It’s winter in Lebanon. Not much to look at.

You smirk and press a kiss to his chest. “I mean, that, and you in some little Richard Simmons shorts.”

Dean gives you a look, and you giggle so hard it shakes your whole body against him.

“Honestly, I think that’ll really do it for me,” you tease. You walk two fingers across his thigh, where a cute pair of ‘80s-style exercise shorts would cut off.

Dean grabs your hand and rolls you over, pinning you underneath him on the bed. His thigh slips between both of yours, causing friction against your jeans. And he smirks down at you.

“Sweetheart, I don’t do shorts.”

AN: 😂 A little callback to S1 at the end there. I hope you guys liked this! Just in time to prepare for my Christmas cooking! ❤️💚

Keep Reading:

Next up in this series is "A Wish to Build a Dream On":

Summary: Dean has been harboring the archangel Michael in his mind for weeks now, putting a strain on your relationship as you struggle to help him. When Dean makes a wish that accidentally brings his father back from the dead, you get to meet the (in)famous John Winchester. But as always with magic, your boyfriend’s wish has unintended consequences.

▶️ Next Story: A Wish to Build a Dream On

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Dean W. Tag List:

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91

@melancholictear @nic-kolas @sanscas @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19

@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @xsophianicolex @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @ultrahviolentart @chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420

[estcaligo]

My favourite Sebek moments from this update (Book 7, chapter 11)

*what is this picture? who knows... *Spoilers, obviously

EQUESTRIAN CLUB LORE Silver's horse name is Samson and Sebek's - Tempest (ok ok I'm so normal about this) Once again, a reference to Sebek and books, I think, amazing And guess what other horse was called Samson?

Azul mentioned that someone uploaded a video of Equestrian club to Magicam and people were saying "He looks like a prince" (obviously about Silver but Azul actually says he meant both of them :)))

When Silver asked Sebek if he knew about it he said no because

But anyway Silver thought it was about his white horse Samson Sebek got jealous (big news) and said HIS horse - Tempest - is better and Prince of Horses ahsdkjhasdkah I can't with him (don't mind this wonky translator, I'm too lazy to type everything)

Next to Jack's dream

"To live in a dorm run by a man you can't respect. What an unlucky guy he is" - he comments on Jack's dream version of Leona (the opposite of irl Leona yikes) But then he adds "well, anyone who is not in Diasomnia is unlucky" lolol ok ok we get it you're proud as you should be

TEAM RAMSHACKLE OK YES Please Sebek transfer to Ramshackle at least for one week for one day for one second I beg you, It'll be fun I promise

Leona calls Sebek TsunTsun Head :)   ツンツン頭 can be translated as "spiky-haired" or "with spiky hair" (Leona was talking about their hair) but also it's a reference to Sebek's tsundere character :) Cute detail, imo

And what does Ruggie say about Sebek?? "That Diasomnia first-year - he's built just as well as Jack" RIGHT?? I've been saying!!! He literally has dumbbells in his room, like. Canon. Thank me again for drawing canon-accurate Sebek :)

Unprotected hand-holding with Leona :) My LeoSeb heart is throbbing aw (like someone once said on twttr - Sebek do be living his dating sim dream life lol)

Also oh? Main story SebeJack - "I have no intention to forgive a Sawanaclaw students who tried to hurt Young Master with their sneaky plan. But to think they also have someone like you…" Aaaa two tsunderes interacting yes pls

Next we have some lore about Baur. Sebek says his grandfather told him it was hot, but he couldn't imagine just how hot. He comments that Baur must've had a hard time when he (suddenly??) moved to the subarctic Briar Valley. *why did he say suddenly, what happened? Was he banished???

OH??? Baur also told Sebek that there were many different species, including Night Faes and that it was an easy/nice place to live.... Then why did he leave?????

Anyway! Sebek and Grim are hungry and wanna eat lots of doughnuts (3 doughnuts omg how Sebek.....) We've got options! Either we tell them to be modest, or we cheer them on hehe

OF COURSE SEBEK EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT

Then Ruggie wakes up and cries, of course. "Malleus you are heartless, you're not a human!!" - briefly And Idia comments "Well, he it's technically not, he's a fae" IDIA💀💀💀 Then Ruggie goes - "Ughhh These faes with their fae ways..."

And Sebek hears this and OF COURSE he says

LMAO CALM DOWN

Aslo I like this Moment with Silver. Our prince is stronk

That's it! In conclusion - Sebek is the best once again!!!

[bouquetface]

Jungkook - Vedic Chart Observations + Predictions

My first time making this post I had the wrong birth time. I've finally found the time to do a proper read with hopefully the correct time - 3:23-3:35 PM

Also I hope everyone just takes this as fun. I do not mean any disrespect in making assumptions. I am well aware, I do not know him or his life. Please take it as entertainment.

I think it'd be fun if any long-term fans could fact check my assumptions based on his chart. And I really want to emphasize this is just for fun. I really hope I don't offend anyone 💗

This is using vedic so signs and planets will all be different from western. The timing section uses both western & vedic methods.

Money and Family/Early Life:

2nd H - Jupiter in Cap - This is Jupiter's debilitation. This can indicate financial hardships throughout one's life. However, in D9 his Jupiter is exalted in Cancer . This shows as he ages, his Jupiter gains power. In his case, Jupiter gains the power to financially bless him. He may have started out in a family that didn't have the best financial standing but it was destined that he would improve this area of his life.

5th H ruler (Mars) in 11th H - This is another wealth indicator. It shows someone who is eager and motivated to go after their desires. Mars is very protective of it's wealth and desires in this house. Funny enough mars as 5th ruler in 11th can indicate older brother helping you gain wealth since mars shows brothers/male friends and 11th H shows gains and eldest sibling. Jungkook has had BTS all help him gain wealth & achieve his desires & vice versa.

2nd H is ruled by Saturn - This shows the wealth would come through hardwork and patience. The negative of this placement is it indicates carrying family burdens. In Jungkook's situation, he started working very young (as a teen) and likely is the main provider for his family.

Saturn AK as ruler or 2nd & 3rd in 4th H - This shows it is apart of his life's purpose to take burdens off his family. If you believe in past lives, this shows needing to repay his parent’s soul who he may have known in his past life. If you do not believe in past life's, it simply shows life's purpose is connected to working and his family.

4th H ruler (Jupiter) in 2nd H - This is an indicator of expanding your family's legacy. This manifests different for everyone’s charts tho. IRL I've this in the chart of someone who took over their family restaurant and made it much more profitable. This placement also shows the mother runs the family and household. The household likely doesn't follow the traditions of the man/dad will run the home. The mom can be like a teacher and guide for everyone in the family.

Saturn in 4th H - shows his mother and home instilled traits of discipline, hardwork, patience, maturity. This can show his mother may have been the main disciplinary parent when he did something wrong as a kid. In the sign of pisces the usual saturn in 4th energy changes tho, here Saturn isn't as tough, pisces is an emotional and adaptable sign. His home life wouldn't have been as limiting as other people with Saturn in 4th. His early life may have been routined and structured rather than strict and cold.

3rd H ruler (Saturn) in 4th H - Occasionally this shows a child who learned to speak slowly or at a later age than norm. A quiet or shy kid/toddler. I'm not sure if anyone other than his mom and dad would be able to confirm that tho lol. This also shows his regular communication style to be generally truthful and keeping things to the point and short - not short & sweet tho because Saturn brings honesty, making him less likely to sugarcoat things.

Moon in Leo 9th H - Moon represents the mother in vedic but when in 9th it can provide insight on the father. In this case, his dad takes on a motherly role as well. If you believe in past lives, this placement shows you knew your father's soul in a past life. He may have even helped him out in the past life too. His dad may have been encouraging and supportive. Moon loosely conjunct Mercury in 9th shows his dad may be one of his closest friends.

Education, Travel and Father:

Moon in Leo 9th H - I think Jungkook doesn’t have a college or higher education. However, this placement shows someone who values formal education. Someone who can desire to change or get involved in the government through education or politics. However, I don't believe Jungkook has ever spoken on politics.

In his case, his 9th H planets seem to manifest as interest in foreign travel. 9th is the house of higher education and travel so this makes sense. His higher education can be seen as being gained through experiences - especially experiences abroad.

This placement shows becoming very religious/spiritual/philosophical after the father's death. I am unaware if Jungkook has ever spoken about religion before tho. If he has, he may embrace that religion more than he already does.

Sun in 9th H/9th H ruler in 9th - This shows strong interest in travel. This shows the father instilled strong morals. The father figure in his life gives wise advice. This is a blessed placement to have - it shows good past life karma and strong wealth indicator. In Jungkook's case, the ruler (sun) is placed well in it's home sign conjunct a benefic (moon). This adds to the strength of this placement. This shows Jungkook could have made an excellent preacher, motivator or teacher. His dad or father figure may have been a great at these things too.

Spouse/Marriage:

Venus in 10th H - In a man's chart this indicates meeting the wife in a professional setting. His 7th H ruler and DK being in 9th indicates he will meet his spouse when far from the birth place - possibly abroad - for a work related event.

Venus in Virgo 10th H - This Venus is debilitated. This doesn't mean the spouse will be bad or he will have a bad love life. It shows the planet Venus is unable to freely express itself in this sign's energy. Virgo is practical and analytical, it won't let Venus go recklessly indulge itself in love, money or other pleasures.

Virgo Venus has a practical approach to relationships - venus won't risk anything for love when in virgo. It shows Jungkook won't fall for someone based off appearance. He likely would disagree with the idea of "love at first sight". His approach to relationships is more cautious and logical. He knows the consequences of love and relationships. He'll consider the worst case scenarios before even approaching someone for a date.

He needs to know his wife on a much deeper level to trust her. Venus in 10th H shows he needs her to understand his career and image. She will be cautious and hardworking herself to understand how it is to be in the public eye.

The difficult part of having Venus in Virgo shows Jungkook can be very hard on himself. Venus here can make one feel love is to be earned. This makes one very critical of themselves, it can make them connect their self esteem to their looks, money and career. Venus can feel unworthy, Venus is constantly looking to perfect itself when in Virgo.

7th ruler (Mercury) in 9th H and DK in 9th H - This shows the spouse may be younger or youthful in appearance. She may have higher education and/or she is well travelled. She is likely a foreigner - this doesn't always mean someone from a different country, places in your own country can be foreign to you. His wife's culture and background will be new/foreign to him.

Her communication style will be charming. Something about her communications style really shines - ex: she could have pretty voice, she could be very funny, she could speak eloquently, she could be witty/clever- she could even be a writer professionally or as a hobby. However, it seems likely she would have or will later in life have published work.

Moon in DK - Typical description of Moon DK is a sensitive spouse, however in this case moon is in a fixed sign. This makes the spouse less likely to be overlysensitive but she will still have a sensitive side to her. This also shows the spouse can treat Jungkook like a child at times. After marriage, she takes on a nurturing role - ex: consistently asking him how did you sleep? did you eat? Due to DK conjunct mercury she can be very chatty too so she'll likely be the type of wife randomly texting him these questions but also other random things that come to mind or occur in her day. Not saying she's scatterbrained but she is fast thinking and moving - she could be very witty/funny.

DK conjunct Mercury and SUN shows she might be younger but she won't be unsuccessful. This is a hardworking lady. She has earned her way to wherever she is and she will not take shit. This is the sun's influence. She will be prideful and at times authoritative & stubborn. She’ll have a leadership position or leadership energy. Being stubborn is highly likely due to all these planets being conjunct in a fixed sign.

She may be interested in humanitarian causes. This might be something she is educated on or talks/writes about at some point. DK in 9th H, she will share and educate Jungkook on her beliefs and culture. They may even do something related to speaking up for certain causes or charity events together at some point in their lives. Mercury and sun’s influence in leo 9th H shows standing up for something bigger than yourself.

Timing relationships:

Jungkook has a few late marriage indicators (Venus Virgo, Venus opposite Saturn, 7th H ruler conjunct Sun). He may still need to go through relationships before meeting his spouse tbh.

A lot of this is based on SR which requires correct current location. If he moves, a lot of this is unlikely to be true. So take it as entertainment:just for fun

Sept 1 2025 to Sep 20 2027 - There are indicators in dasha periods & SR of a relationship. However, based on transit and sr in 2026 it seems he will let something or someone go in favour of something else.

Mars in 7th house of relationships shows conflict with partners and south node over 7th h ruler shows letting a partnership go. This could be in a professional sense rather than romantic. Hard to tell because he is very private.

2028 - The SR does show relationships being a big focus on this year. However, SR 7th ruler (moon) conjunct uranus indicates an unstable year. SR mars, venus and south node are in 7th h these indicate ups and downs in relationships. It's like he can't decide how he feels or finds out something shocking suddenly & it changes how he feels- for better or worse.

2029 / Age 32 - This year seems pretty important for his career/image and money. He may be more public or more social irl. He could confirm his relationship this year or be more of public presence in other ways. However, this could also be in his personal social life. This why it's so difficult to be accurate with celebs, we don't actually see their real lives.

2032 / Age 35 - This is a highly favourable year for relationships. He'll likely marry this year.

Sept 1 2034 - Nov 30 2036 / Age 37-38 - This is likely when he'll have kid, make a big move, expand his family or home.

BTW I realize I didn't specifically state which year he'll meet his spouse just the year he might marry. This is because truthfully his relationship may begin in one of the years where another ends - not implying cheating or anything like that. It seems the start is unstable in some way - might meet and then separate before coming back together.

Anyways if you got to this point, thanks and i hope you enjoyed it. don't take it seriously, it's all in good fun. wishing him the best tho.

[graytodd]

Hi, I wanted to ask for your opinion on how a Yandere DickJay would work. In this scenario the following occur:

Dick's obsession starts of Jason's death.

Dick reads Jason's Journal and realizes Jason had a crush on him.

Dick keeps track of Jason's whereabouts at all times when he comes back.

Jason is oblivious to Dicks red flags for quite sometime till someone points it out but even then he is still in denial.

Any other additions is up to you.

Personally, I've never been a fan toxic dynamics, I like to think of Dick as a biter lol but not phisically or mentally abusive over Jason. Maybe a possessive/brutal Dick ready to protect his little wing at any cost could work as an example of yandere? I hope. I'll ramble on this thought of Dick's aggressive behaviors he's shown toward anyone who hurts Jason, especially toward Bruce, his mentor, the man who raised Dick and gave him a new life. A scenario that comes to mind might be sth post-GW where Dick in order to relieve Jason of the burden of rejection and manipulation he feels toward Bruce, (cause Dick cannot stand seeing Jason hurt all over again), Dick might mention that the day Bruce kept Dick in the dark about Jason's funeral something in their relationship broke down, and got worse even when Bruce didn't tell him about Red Hood's true identity, when Dick took good care of Jason for weeks, keeping him hidden in his apartment until he was able to recover, just as now. Once again Jason's hurt, and once again Dick feels the need to tear Bruce apart. “I'd kill for you.” Dick would say to Jason at one point, to let him understand he'd cross the line that was imposed on him when Dick became the first Robin, when his obsession for revenge his parents was consuming him. Jason'd endure the statement with a bewildered expression, because goldieboy could never; no one would avenge Jason. He would shrugged in reply, smiling sleep too tired to answer in words; Jason cannot conceive that he's as important to Dick as his own parents; Dick cannot get his hands bloody for someone like him, for anybody, nor for the people he loved the most. Dick's looking at Jason as if there was a question hanging between them; gimme me orders, a nod, something. You've no idea how far I'm willing to go to protect you. I need to show you - Dick avenged Jason once and may do so again.

[keiksy-cake]

Lunatic Blue Ch 9 (Gore TW || Hetalia Doujinshi)

YEAHHHHH AFTER 4 YEARS. 4 YEARS. 4 YEARS.

木綿ﾄﾞｩﾌ does it again with another very incredible chapter~ I missed this series so much! The wait was definitely worth it, this chapters as great as the others! I wish I could've finished it faster, I even put My Arika on hold lol, but I had assignments and such D;

There's no gore in this chapter but it's still full of horror and suspense!

If you haven't read this series yet, I HIGHLY recommend it, definitely one of my top top favorites, idk if I like any other more than it. Altho, I started doing a lot to "clean" the pages, which I didn't in the beginning. How much I've grown in both cleaning and translating within this 3 year gap is greatly exemplified in this series... Which is great, but in other words, that also means the first chapters are very drastically... I've been saying for a long time I want to re-do them, I started re-doing the first chapter a couple years back but never finished lol but finally the other day I decided to update it, posting what I have at least. Lets hope my renewed motivation is enough to actually finished...

Since it's been so long, I recommend even those who have read this series to re-read it before reading this one. Anyway, sorry for the long intro! Please enjoy! Here's a list of the prev chapters too:

Lunatic Blue 1

Lunatic Blue 2

Lunatic Blue 3

Lunatic Blue 4

Lunatic Blue 5

Lunatic Blue 6

Lunatic Blue 7

Lunatic Blue 8

I was too lazy to actually redraw this last page, sorry >.> Look at him mad broody tho lol

Also, I accidentally made this and thought it looked cool so I thought I'd add it in lol:

Notes:

Rather than "sir", child Alfred calls Arthur "nii-san" which means "older brother", but it's also largely used to refer to any older young man.

Rather than "the excitement" (of space), America says "romance", but I was afraid any young and/or American readers wouldn't get that it's meant in an excitement sense, not like love kind of romance.

I'm still not that great at translating, I had to guess for a lot of the sound effects bc English onomatopoeia sucks D;

The expression I tled to "prideful" literally is "hates to lose"

If anyone wants to make a clean version

I did not make this series, I'm just your friendly neighborhood translator~

[the-music-maniac]

Why is the daddy dom characterization so common with pre-nibelheim Sephiroth in fanfics. Does that look like a man who knows how to fuck, to you?

If someone does anything sexy in front of him, he would give them the Seph equivalent of a frog blink. That man is tired.

Lol jokes aside, I suspect for someone who has had his bodily autonomy dictated by lab techs and Hojo for the entirety of his life, he wouldn't be raring to have one night stands with complete strangers in his free time. Sure you could argue that sexual intercourse would be a way to regain a little control of autonomy, but I don't think it's likely when it would be with strangers that - not only never sees Sephiroth as anything but the famed legend (an image he doesn't like btw) which is likely accompanied by unwanted expectations of what he's like in bed, but complete strangers that could've also been sent to like. Assassinate the most important asset that Shinra has?

My point being that I don't think Sephiroth really had any safe space to explore what he likes for something like sex - and since it isn't necessary for his duty as a soldier, and may even count as unwanted distraction and vulnerability - Sephiroth likely discarded any interest in it entirely. That is, if he had any interest at all in the first place. You could also assume he could explore it with people he IS close with (ex. Angeal, Genesis etc.) but in those scenarios he wouldn't exactly know off the bat what he likes, or be self assured in any sense.

Trigger Warning (implication of SA/dubious consent): Of course you could also explore the darker side of this, which is that Sephiroth has experience because he didn't have a say in it, bc the company used him/trained him as an asset in this aspect as well. Which is an entirely different discussion to be had, so I won't go into it any further here.

And I think despite the suggestive shit that post-nibelheim Seph says to Cloud, his mind is not on anything sexual in actuality. He's likely aware of the effect flirtation and innuendo can have on people - disgust or interest or whatever would distract an opponent. Or he's just entirely unaware of - or does not care how else his words can be taken. He's a drama queen, but his goals have been pretty clear post insanity, and they have nothing to do with something as mundane as sex. So his demeanour after Jenova isn't that applicable (also we know that square Enix was like heehee we figured you would like this dialogue, so there is also that).

Basically, while I understand Sephiroth is a cool character for exploring fantasies (valid, go ham) - in terms of if you're trying to be accurate to canon characterizations, fics where he's written as a suave dom/top gets a bit of a question mark from me??

I feel like what makes more sense for ships involving pre-nibelheim Seph (including those sefikura time travel fixits that I'm mildly obsessed with) would be uncertainty. Here is finally someone who he actually feels safe to explore this aspect with, and it's natural for exploration to involve stumbles. And I don't think Seph would rule out submission or bottoming as an option in regards to himself either. Or switching/versatility. As someone trained to be objective or logical when tackling anything really - he would probably go about it methodically. So why not try it all to gather data?

What his and his partners' eventual preferences are gonna be is author's choice of course lmao

Also a disclaimer before I end it here - this post is purely because I find discussion on this interesting. If you disagree, or just wanna write what you wanna see, definitely do that and disregard what I've said. Fanfic is supposed to be self indulgent, so who gives a shit what other people think.

[rookinthecrownest]

Discussion about romances + expectations under the cut (I'd put it as like..mildly critical, but also coming from a place of understanding?). As usual, will tag as such so you don't have to engage/read on if you don't wish to. I always invite open discussion, just keep it respectful (as I will endeavour to do so myself).

This is going to be a bit of a ramble, so I apologize if my thoughts are not clearly laid out like they should be.

I think I've found the reason why I (and maybe others), feel that the romances in Veilguard feel a bit... idk, hollow, at times (not BAD!!! just feeling like there could be MORE). And that's because of the trap of expectations. I may also be speaking completely for myself here.

Anyway, let's rewind to 2014.

Be me, 10 years ago. You're not really a gamer, but indulge in action RPG's casually.

See a commercial for this hot new game coming out called Dragon Age: Inquisition. Be intrigued by the character designs, but know nothing about the world. Come to find out it's part of a trilogy. So naturally, you buy the first two games and play through them before playing the third.

Be amazed, and completely hooked on the characters, the lore, the world, the darker elements and themes. It becomes your favourite game series of all time.

But you had no idea that you could romance any of the companions going into the experience. And man, does it fundamentally rewire your brain chemistry to fall in love with cRPG and get ridiculously attached to your Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor.

So, you romance Alistair first because he's funny as hell, and has a really interesting story/character arc. Then you romance Zevran, and love that too - he's charming and suave and awkward and funny. Then you go onto DA2 and romance Fenris and Anders, and each of those romances pack their own emotional gut punches. Then it's finally time for DAI, and predictably, you go for Solas (a veritable slow burn that spans TWO games), Cullen, and partially (I never finished those playthroughs lol) Blackwall and Dorian.

I had no idea you could romance companions going into these games. It was a pleasant surprise! It always felt like an important part of the story, while not overshadowing the main plot. There was enough material in the codexes, the cutscenes, and party banter to make each romance feel complete and whole and awesome and nuanced.

And then, like some of you I suspect, I read an article that touted Veilguard as "The Most Romantic Bioware Game Yet", and I thought - "Wow, if they're saying this then the romances must be something else", given the quality of the previous romances you've experienced in these games!

But you get to the game - and while you're having fun, it definitely leans more into the ARPG style where romances feel a bit more pushed to the side in order to tell a certain story than the traditional Bioware/Larian RPG experience you've come to love.

Which is fine! Again, once I stopped thinking of Veilguard as a classic Bioware CRPG, and more like GOW/The Witcher, I found I was able to appreciate it a lot more for what it is. Things have to Happen A Certain Way for the narrative to work, and that's not a bad thing. DA2 was similar - it was a harrowing, personal tragedy about the Hawke family and their struggle to survive in Kirkwall.

Just like DA2, there are aspects of Veilguard that make me glad things happened the way they did. I'm not mad that Rook has so much dialogue without a ton of player input and you can't 'be evil' - because the game doesn't make sense if you can. At its core, Veilguard's narrative is centered around Regret, after all - you can't have an evil protagonist running around because Solas' Regret prison would never work (evil people don't generally tend to regret their actions...)!

Now, if you're expecting a long-winded, fully researched academic breakdown of every romance I'm sorry but that ain't happening tonight lol. This is not based in any fact, this is all opinion.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but sometimes it feels like the romances in this game (and I say this with the biggest grain of salt as I've only done Emmrich and Lucanis' - and am going through Neve's now), are just missing....something, to take them from good to great.

I loved Emmrich's romance. I thought it was very well done. I think a lot of people would agree it's one of the stronger ones in the game - doubly so if you play as a Mourn Watch Rook (you get a TON of MW specific lines going this route, it's great). His side romance with Strife if you don't get together is very cute, I enjoyed it. But as superbly well done as it was, somehow, I wouldn't even put it in my top 4 Bioware romances.

With Lucanis' romance - whatever my hangups may be about how it was handled, certain parts of his romance were done excellently (even better than some of the previous Bioware romances, I'd say). You can read more about my thoughts on his romance here which is why I'm not going into detail about it. Unlike Emmrich's, I would put it in my top 4 because I fell in love with the character that much (both in the game but really, I've loved him since Tevinter Nights), and I've grown very attached to my first Rook and him as a pairing. I've seen others share a similar sentiment on here (and I hate to say it but I agree) - sometimes it feels like I fell in love with Rookanis despite the way it was handled, not because of it. I can't say that for many other romances. While it's been fun to think up a lot of HC/write fics/make art about those abandoned concept sketches and parts where I felt the game could have showed us more of their dynamic, I can't help but feel like his (and other) romances would have immensely benefited from even 1 or 2 extra small scenes to flesh it out a bit more if they weren't going to let us freely talk to our companions.

The issue with the romances might also have something to do with the pacing of the game itself. I think Act 2 is where the pacing goes a bit awry, before picking back up in Act 3 (which is great, I love it).

Sometimes I also felt that there was a little too much reliance on codex entries and party banter to tell the story of the romance rather than showing it explicitly through cutscenes. I think that's what makes the romances feel a bit truncated at times, compared to the previous entries? Some of the romance-specific party banter was so good, it probably deserved its own cutscene. But it's also highly dependent on the party you have, and it's easy to miss/not trigger. I remember absolutely living for the cutscenes in the first three entries and I can't explain why I feel like, subjectively speaking, Veilguard just has less romance content (this may not be objective reality - I haven't compared the amount of romance specific content head to head with other games).

I also couldn't tell you why I feel DA2 doesn't suffer the same problems as DATV in terms of romance interaction - because you can't freely talk to your companions in that game either. Yet somehow, it always felt like I was getting enough of them to not notice that. I do miss being able to chat my LI's ear off and ask them questions about their life/their views/etc. like I could in DAO and DAI. I think it's a shame we can't because the companions in DATV are SO interesting. I want to ask them all a billion questions about their lives/stories/etc even if they're not my love interest. The party banter in this game is immaculate but being able to talk to them individually about this stuff would've been SO nice. I feel that I've missed out on SO MUCH of these characters just because I didn't have two of them in my party at the same time!

Anyway, I need to wrap this up.

In closing, perhaps, if I hadn't read that article about how it was going to be Bioware's most romantic game ... maybe I wouldn't feel this way? I think it sent my expectations through the stratosphere, and that's no one's fault but my own. Not Bioware, not EA, mine.

I know that this game's development cycle was a unique sort of hell that the other games didn't suffer. To go from Joplin -> Morrison -> Veilguard. To have so many of the original staff leave the team when Joplin got scrapped. To have to pivot from Live Service and then back to single person RPG. More lay-offs. It's a miracle this game got made. I'm happy I can sit around thinking about it. And I hope its successful enough that we get DA5 so we can all sit around dissecting that in 5-10 yrs time.

Don't get me wrong - I enjoy the Veilguard romances for what they are. I'm enjoying them more I play and discover additional banter/codex/etc that I missed the first time around. Like any Bioware romance, there are spots where they hit their stride, and spots where they falter a bit. When they hit their stride they knock it out of the fucking park. But when they falter, you can really feel it. Romance is hard to write! And you'll never fully please everyone.

But a small part of me wishes I'd gone in blind, and checked my own expectations a bit.

Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. Tell me about it. What was your experience with the romances? Did you also read that article and get your expectations up?

I hope this makes sense.

Kind regards good fandom folks,

Keep the discussion respectful. And please don't use this post as an excuse to just blatantly hate on the game.

-Rookie

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

if it's ok can you do a Cross sans x fem reader oneshot with fluff and spice. where the two are dating and the reader is kind, chill, tomboyish, plays guitar and has the soul of kindness. the plot is their friend Epic brings over candy/chocolate to share and the reader give Cross one through a kiss (cross may be a flirt when its just the two but can easily get flustered lol)

I've been aching to write some smut, gracias compañero.

NSFW under the cut!

Featuring: Cross.

Content warning: Fem reader, praising, first time (at least w Cross), soft sex, bite marks, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, cumming inside.

Masterlist

The sound of rain came from the outside of your house, you were playing your guitar while sitting on the couch next to your dear boyfriend, Cross, who was nuzzling kisses on your shoulder.

A knock on the door was heard, making the skeleton on your side get up to answer whoever was on the other side, in the meanwhile you decided to put away your guitar, storing it on your bedroom and going back to the living room.

"Epic?"

"Yo (_____)!! I was wondering where you were!"

Epic wraps his arms around you, his watery clothes getting yours wet, giving you a hug with a smile on his face.

"Heh, wanted to pass by ya know? See if y'all already made me a lil niece or nephew-"

"EPIC!!"

"What? I'm waiting for my adoptive brother to have a kid for me to spoil!"

Cross blushes furiously, his skull getting purple as he looks away to the ground, Epic chuckles as he grabs a box of chocolates out of seemingly nowhere offering it to your direction.

"By the way, brought you two a gift."

The skeleton looked at his wrist and then back at you.

"Oh look at the time, need to be going!"

He adds while heading to the door, waving goodbye with his hand and running towards the rain like a crazy man.

"...Why is he my best friend again?"

Cross asks turning his head to you, getting surprised when he saw half of the box already empty and your mouth chewing on small bits of chocolate.

"Already eating love?"

"Yup!"

He smiles and picks you up, walking to the couch while you continue eating, sitting down and placing you on his lap. His hand reaches for the remote, clicking a button and turning on the TV while his other hand holds your waist.

"Not going to give your boyfriend a piece?"

You giggle with chocolate in your mouth and move your face closer to his, crashing your lips on his and tongue kissing him, pushing the chocolate into his mouth and breaking the kiss.

"Mmh... Not sure what's sweeter, your mouth or the chocolate.."

Cross says as he swallows the chocolate, resting his arms on the back cushions. You grab his shirt and pull him to another kiss, this time you slowly rub your crotch against his, wrapping your arms around his neck catching a small glance of a purple glow coming from below before closing your eyes.

He broke the kiss and looked at you panting.

"Uhmmmm~ l-love... We shouldn't do this.."

"Why not huh Crossy?"

"W-What if I end up hurting you..?"

"Oh Cross... I know you won't... Plus is something we both want, isn't it?"

The skeleton blushes, a sign escaped his mouth, his hands removing his tank top and tossing it somewhere on the ground. Your hands touched his ribs and slowly trailed down to his ecto stomach to his covered erection, passing your hand around it.

You yelp as your back is suddenly pressed against the pillows, towering you. Cross's hand holding both your wrists while his other holds his pants and underwear down, exposing his hardened cock out. His fingers reaching for the bar of your shorts.

"You're way too clothed to my liking... Don't you think darling?"

He smirks and slips out your shorts, leaving you only in underwear and an oversized shirt. He starts rubbing his shaft against your covered entrance, drawing circles on your clit in a teasingly manner, making you arch your back a bit.

"Mmmh! C-Cross please..."

"Please what darling?"

He rubs harder, bending his back down to whisper in your ear.

"Tell me exactly what you want baby..."

"I want you to fuck me Cross! Please!"

He chuckles, letting your wrists free and trailing his hands to your underwear, ripping it out of the way.

"So wet already..."

Cross presses his tip against your entrance, his hands going up to your waist, lightly squeezing the soft skin.

"...(_____)? You're... Sure you want to do this?"

You nod, your eyes looking passionately at him with need.

"Alright... Tell me if it hurts too much.."

He slowly enters you, letting out a moan as he feels your warm hole tightening around his shaft. His hands wipe the small tears on your eyes while trying to stay as still as possible.

"Shh... It's okay it's okay pretty girl.. is it too much for you?"

"N-no...- j-just... Don't move for a bit Cross..."

He nods and trails kisses from your cheek down to your neck, nibbling and sucking the sensitive parts while his finger draws circles on your clit, his other hand still holding on your waist, yet more gentle than before.

You slowly move your hips up and then down, letting low moans as your hands wrap around the skeleton's shoulders. His hand moves from your clit to your waist once again, his hips slowly thrusting against yours.

"C-Cross.."

"Yeah pretty girl?"

"more.. please.."

He chuckles and starts going at a faster pace, his cock going in and out of you as your nails scratch his ribs, your skin clapping against his ecto while sweet kisses are given all over your neck. Cross moans were lower than yours, yet you could still hear them. You could feel a knot forming with every thrust he gave, your hand grabs the top of your hair as you tremble in pleasure.

"C-Cross.. I'm- ah! c-clooose..!"

"Huff... Me too pretty girl... Me too.."

His hand suddenly reaches for your leg between thrusts, quickly tossing it over his shoulder, giving him easy access to go deeper inside you.

"Ah.... (_____)... Want me to cum inside..?"

"Yes yes! Please Crossyy"

Your moans filled the living room as Cross's thrusts got sloopier and sloopier, his free hand touching your face and his thumb caressing your cheek as he makes one final thrust, coming inside your pussy as you cum too.

"Oh Cross... That was... Amazing.."

"I know sweetheart..."

He waits a few seconds before pulling out, cum spilling into the cushions as his arms wrapping around you. The skeleton flips you so you're laying in his chest as he grabs a nearby blanket on the couch and covers you both. He plants a kiss on your forehead seeing your eyes close.

"Rest well dear... Have nice dreams.."

He murmured softly, embracing you tightly as you fell into a deep peaceful slumber.

[marzcody]

All of my alterhuman kinstypes cus I'm bored :P

I will be talking. a lot. this is your warning that I will be talking.

Black wolf!!

This is by far the easiest one I have to understand (for me atleast) so it's going first. Often get more shifts about it during the winter because all the snow and stuff reminds me of the tundra!! I had a pack of like 3-4 other wolves and we lived along the border between a forest and like a planes in the tundra or something like a tundra.

Me fr!!

Black cat (fictionkin?????)

this is where things get complicated as always...I put fictionkin w/ a bunch of question marks because I'm a black cat specifically from the book series Warrior cats but I'm not like a specific character from the book, I'm my own cat but like not an oc so????? idk I'm just going w/ fictionkin for now cus it makes the most sense to me lol. anyway I spent most of my time in Riverclan but I spent a lot of time in the hay/wheat fields at the barn had hunting mice. My name was Mountainsong (clan name) or Night-bird (rogue name). I was like 20 moons? I was definitely a young warrior but idk exactly how old. I have a lot of memories attached to this kintypes like having to run across the Thunderpath or sneaking out of camp to go hunt mice at the barn. I still sometimes try to flick my tail as communication forgetting I don't have one anymore :/. Anyway if you have any idea if fictionkin is the right term or if there's some other one lmk (note: I also might have a theriotype of a cat that's different than this?? idek anymore just know that I'm a cat lol)

me in RC territory if you even care

Angelkin? Dietykin? Something along those lines

and even more complicated we go. idk a good label for this one either but I feel like those two are pretty good descriptors. I'm not divine anymore but I once was. I'm not a christian angel or even an angel from any particular religion. All I know is that I came from the stars with the purpose to bring light and joy to humanity and to also observe it (I've made many observations!!) This sounds kinda silly but my form was best described as the Angelic Warden from Creatures of Sonaria but not exactly. I stood on two legs that came down to a fine point, and had two massive wings on my back that were very heavy with two more little wings inside of those ones, a long with two on either side of my head. (man I miss those wings). I think I may have been on Earth while still divine? I know for a fact I was watching from above the clouds once but idk not gonna get into that yet lol.

Where I came from. also the best representation of my "non-physical" form.

THE MOON (conceptkin)

Kinda goes with the whole originating from the stars and space but uhm. anyway I AM the concept the like the aura around the moon. The deep night only illuminated by the full moon. that illumination creating a mysterious and beautiful light casting down the the ground through the leaves of trees? ME!!!! The haunting light a bright orange harvest moon immits?? ME!!!!! The weird pseudo-darkness the moon makes during a solar eclipse? MEEE!!! The moon shining brightly through the clouds giving light to the animal below and beauty for human to admire? MEM MEMEMEM!!!!!

MEEEEE!!!! ME ME ME!!!!

ANYWAY thanks for reading!!!! if you have any kintypes you wanna share PLEASE do I LOVE hearing about them /gen!!!!

[icewindandboringhorror]

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!! To this elderly bapy boye!!! he...!!!

[buglaur]

[seb-the-nerd]

benoit blanc is just gender envy, pure and simple. i too aspire to help women of color fuck shit up and wear fruity little outfits doing it. he is the kind of man and the kind of masculinity i try to be/have.

[reinedeslys-central]

when it's been so long since you've read a fic that you forget about it and you find it in the search tags and start reading it again

and it's great, if a little familiar, but you've read a lot of these sorts of fics bc you like this tag a lot, so you assume it's nothing

but then the deja vu starts adding up and you start to wonder

and then moments before the great big Plot Twist Reveal happens you're suddenly like ah hell this is the bloody sundial fic again isn't it

smh this has to be the fourth time yet

[vaguely-concerned]

I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)

aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao

(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)

[moonchild-in-blue]

Oh.

[sskk-manifesto]

Finally got around to watching ep 11 (´；ω；｀)