#this is the best and stupidest thing I've drawn. at least in the current month anyway lol. i draw a lot of fantastic and stupid things. 😌

[jackgoodfellow]

(Fujiko is dreaming of all the ways she is going to use her new boobs for evil. And she should! As a treat!)

[original comic by @silkentine]

[stay-tinystars]

She's a what??

Ship: Wooyoung(idol) x female Vampire (unnamed)

Comedy/crazy fic!

Warnings: biting, blood, immortality, slight cursing, vampire, it's a really stupid vampire x idol au.

A/N: this is probably the stupidest weirdest fic I've ever written. This is my take on vampires. TMI I've always enjoyed looking at necks, and Wooyoung of ateez has a very very nice neck. So I wrote this crack fic because of a discussion I was having with @ateez-angel

I hope you all enjoy this crack fic. It's very random, and obviously very untrue, and a work of complete fiction.

Word count: ~1.2k

As an immortal it was a good thing to keep moving. Never being someplace too long, of course looking to be in my early twenties helped. I could always be a student attending college abroad, or a new girl who had moved from a small city. I'd done many random jobs, internships, at one point I even joined a nunnery. Having traveled the world I enjoyed the small things like the smell of small bakeries, the sound of amusement parks, the crackling of an open fire.

Most people thought of vampires as creepy, blood sucking creatures, only wanting to suck people dry. Bursting into flames if they stepped into a church (which is why the nunnery was always funny to me). I never fit that description. I also found human food to be quite tasty. I was the uncommon vampire, who had been around for centuries. I was grateful for modern day things, like airplanes, but mostly I was grateful for the fact that humans now bathed regularly.

I had seen things come to be that were now in museums. In fact I'm pretty sure one of the books on display in the Trinity college library was originally mine.

Well enough of my rambling, I'm here to tell you the story of how I accidentally created another immortal after 370 years. How can you accidentally turn someone immortal, you ask? Well that's why I'm here to explain. I really didn't mean to turn Wooyoung immortal. I really didn't, but with a neck like that, how could I not be tempted.

It was your average day in Seoul. I was working at the Jamsil Arena, setting up for another concert stage. This job was quite nice, away from direct sunlight, and worked well for my current 'life' of interning to work doing lighting for concerts. Being an intern I mostly set the lights up, and tested them. That is when I saw him for the first time as he and the 7 others walked on the stage for rehearsal. I had seen my share of k pop idols, they all were fit, young, and talented. However the one with a loud voice and cackling laugh, he drew me in. Wooyoung was what he said his name was, as they all introduced themselves to the stage hands. His aura, his smirk, that jawline, it was all beautiful, but his neck was so tempting. I could feel my small fangs sneak out slightly further than usual as I watched them perform. I tightened my lips as I adjusted the lights during their rehearsal.

I hadn't had human blood straight from the source in over 50 years. Most of my blood fuel came from blood sausage and rare steak. Tonight I'd definitely need a rare steak.

"Hey" I felt someone tap my shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts, back to work. I turned around and saw him standing mere centimeters from me. "Sorry to interrupt, but they said you could help. My transmitter for my mic isn't connecting correctly"

"Well. I usually only deal with the lighting, but I'll see what I can do" I offered, trying not to stare. He was a masterpiece. I held out my hand, expecting the transmitter, and only getting Wooyoung's hand.

"My name is Wooyoung" he smiled as he squeezed my hand.

"It's a pleasure," I responded. He just swung my hand with his. "Can I have your transmitter to see if I can get it to connect"

"Oh yeah, here you go" he pulled it out of its holder, with his other hand effortlessly, never dropping my hand.

"I'll need both hands" I said slightly giggling as I took the transmitter. His ears reddened as he loosened his grip, dropping my hand. I turned it on, and pressed a few buttons. Trying to remember all the things I'd learned over the years of how these things worked. "OK, try talking," I said.

"Hello" he said, and the sound of his voice echoed through the stadium. "Cool, it's fixed."

At this point I doubted it was ever broken, but I handed it back to him.

"How can I repay you?" He asked as he switched it off.

"I don't think it was ever broken" I smirked.

"Well how else was I supposed to start a conversation with you?" His eyes looking at mine.

"Maybe just a hello?"

"That's too ordinary"

"I suppose it is, for you at least" I had to admit this boy intrigued me. He was different than most humans I had encountered. He seemed to skip steps in the getting to know you process.

"I'd still like to repay you." He grinned. "Maybe I can buy you dinner"

This was difficult. I hadn't been this drawn to someone in over a century, and I couldn't do anything about it. I just did my best to play my role as a young twenty something. He flirted relentlessly through texts, I responded in kind. That's all we did for a month was text. I ate a lot of rare steak.

Soon enough he started inviting me over to the dorm. That is one thing that's true about vampires we must be invited, luckily Wooyoung invited me everywhere with him. The relationship blossomed quick. My feelings for him deepened, much further than just the lust of it all.

Everything went fine until one late night we got caught in the rain as we walked. I had truly fallen for this strange beautiful man. We were walking when I slipped, and he caught me. I found my arms around his neck, his beautiful beautiful neck. It probably looked as if he was dipping me during some odd slow dance in the rain.

He moved in closer as he pulled me up. Our lips ghosting each other. My fangs started protruding, I couldn't stand the temptation anymore, I opened my mouth, a cruel smile taking hold of my features. His face changed from one of caring, to one confusion.

"I've always noticed you have what look like fangs, but tonight they seem bigger" he said quietly, his eyes growing larger.

He was going to become my drug, and I knew it. I smiled wider, then dove for his neck. His beautiful neck, his neck flexed, his SCM tight as I bit him.

His scream brought me out of thoughts. "What the hell! That hurts!" He yelled. I couldn't drain this man, so I did the next best thing. I pulled back slightly and bit hard on my own lip. My blood mixing with his, in my mouth, I then went back to his neck, and sucked. Mixing my blood with his against his neck. I pulled back looking at him and smiling. His hand flew to his neck, he pulled it away covered in the wet red blood.

"I knew you said you liked my neck before, but what the hell! Most people don't draw blood when giving a hickey. It almost felt like you were sucking my blood!" I smiled at his ignorance.

"Wooyoung, sweetie. I am a vampire" I said, trying to help him stay calm.

"Am I going to die??" Panic flooded his features.

"The good thing is, you will never die now. The bad thing is you're gonna have a hell of a time the next few days. You're gonna feel like you have the flu, and a hangover at the same time."

"Well, shit!"

"Also you're going to have to wear some thick chokers to cover your new mark for a while"