#this is no one's fault obvi... but i have this week left until hell starts

[ofallthingsnasty]

i don’t wanna complain bc it’s uni’s fault but it drives me up the wall that whenever i have some time off to write and thirst no one on here remembers me anymore bc obviously i was MIA for weeks -- and then, once i have been a little active and ppl are talking to me again, it’s back to uni again. grrr infuriating for real

[talkingismylifewrites]

So I saw in one of your replies you came up with a mob boss au. Would you ever write it and put it on A03 cos I would LOVE to read it. Also please say John's the mobster who's like "if you mess with Roger you'll die" so a rival gang kidnap Roger to blackmail John. But then Roger turns out to be trained in combat and beats the shit out them all and escapes and when John hears he's just like "I fucking warned you not to mess with him!"

okay this is a) a long time coming and b) was born from me watching all of narcos in like...a week

in fact, it legit started with me texting lo “maybe i’ve been watching too much narcos but.....” 

okay so our story begins with the knowledge that roger’s dad ran the mob

like roger is his heir and his son and his dad is the Big Kingpin

john’s dad is a shitty little lackey who has waaaaaaay too many debts so he grew up in the mob?? but lower ranks

and john sorta started getting involved when he was like 10 or so bc no one looks twice at the nicely groomed white kid right? and his dad was Desperate

and like he and roger had this whole Star Crossed Lovers shit bc a) roger was Not Allowed to be Gay and b) they weren’t ever supposed to have even met like completely different pay grades

BUT roger overheard him arguing with his dad over a better way to do a job that would be less dangerous and way harder to track but he got brushed off with a “the boss is always right you don’t argue john it’ll get you killed”

but rog was like.... shit no that’s WAY better

and ended up dropping a few lines to find out who this kid is cause... he’s smart and smart goes far right

like u gotta look Out for the smart ones, he knows that, his dad taught him that

(with backhands and cruel fists while teaching him chess, that one night in the barrel when he fucked up a simple plan when he was 13...)

(like rog is smart he’s just not Great at compartmentalization. so his plans start out great but go off the railed as he gets excited/pissed off) but like johns smart he picks up when he’s suddenly being tailed and is like Ok What Did I Do to one of them

and the guy panics and takes him straight to roger who is like..... how did u fuck up a simple tail, Jesus Christ

but yeah like he and john end up having a sort of clandestine friendship of sorts? in which roger essentially brings half baked plans to him and john Fixes them

which sorta turns into mutual pining

john is like this is my angry mob boss son best friend and roger’s like this is my evil genius best friend who kills people

but yeah basically roger’s dad keeps beating him when things go wrong, even if its not his fault

John is observant okay he was noticing the direct correlation between roger “getting jumped” and plans going wrong

So when it’s one of his??? That goes tits up (and tbh it wasn’t even like a bad screw up they just had a witness who was taken care of the next day) and roger like slinks into Johns apartment/office with the break down for John and his eyes is swollen completely close and he’s got a fat lip the size of a strawberry John immediately is ready for murder

And roger never admits it’s his dad???? who’s beating him???

because Taylors Should Be Better

Because why would he? It’s embarrassing but also it’s happened his whole life it’s expected of a mob bosses son (think the Baba Yaga scene in John wick 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻)

which then turns into john pounding him into the mattress and promising no one will Ever land a hand on him again when he turns up one time with a battered to hell face because something went Wrong on one of the plans (which. extra emotional effect bc it was one of johns)

and like a month later roger’s dad is mysteriously found shot dead

cuz John mentally is like okay. Plan Ides of March is a go. Moving it up three years he’s getting taken out tomorrow

And John KILLS ROGER’S DAD IN COLD FUCKING BLOOD

the only??? person??? roger would EVER take that from is his dad

like johns heard the stories about roger taking out men twice his size yeah? but roger never has any defensive wounds on his hand

John knows that roger can and will defend himself

He’s seen him in action

But he never raises a hand against his dad when he straight up could kill him with one hand tied behind his back

so john figures it out and a month later roger’s dad is dead 

and now they need a leader?? another boss

and they look to roger, but roger is like no

he knows himself well enough, he is not strong enough in terms of planning and plotting, he’s a good action man but not strategist

that’s john

so roger steps aside and is like john is going to run the show

obvi there’s a power void and there’s basically civil war but with roger’s ruthlessness and john’s genius they fucking take all the little fractions down and they take them down HARD

john sits on his throne with roger standing over his shoulder, knuckles bloodied and grin wicked

and everyone knows if you fuck with roger??? you fuck with john

and vice versa

once, roger got shot on a mission and it was like, the one time?? john loans him out for a plan that wasn’t his

and he’s fine it’s just a graze but John and him in their bathroom and Johns like hyper focused on cleaning the wound and he furious and harsh and is like you fucking dumbass did no one teach you to duck?? You fool you dumb piece of shit

and roger just gently cradles john’s face in his hands and lifts his head to look at him and kisses him so gently and he’s like it’s okay, i’m fine, i’m here

and john’s like you are never going on any raid or plan or anything that i have not PERSONALLY vetted 

the next day, the guy who’s plan it was is sniveling and apologizing on his knees in front of John and Roger; it was an accident, he says

and johns like “it’s okay. i understand, these things happen.”

and then just blank eyed shoots him in the femur

“these things just happen, you understand?”

roger just smiles from behind him, doesn’t even flinch in the aftermath

john and roger rule with an iron fist until one day things go tits up

and roger ends up taking the fall for john, and he gets sent to jail

john, in retaliation, goes on the warpath

Because he’s totally turned around the family business they’ve gone more corporate and it’s more like s legit business now?? They still kill people and rob and shit but they’re not monsters or criminals

And they give money back into the neighborhood and shit and donate to charity and kiss babies blah blah blah

But the authorities are like we need to show our strength against these villains so Rogers looking at like 25years to life

And John just kinda is like okay cool I can fix this

And it’s the biggest campaign ever he’s got the best lawyers on retainer he’s blackmailing people left and right he’s buying witnesses and finding loopholes like he’s fucking working the system and he’s gonna get roger out even if it kills him because in his eyes it was His Fault

Roger is like your honor clearly there’s been some sort of mistake

Because the only thing that places him there is a grainy cell phone video and a witness that’s not exactly clean

So like the case isn’t solid

But it’s enough for a trial like most of it is circumstantial

And John is like I would kill the whole world for you and Rogers like sounds excessive but same

the difference between roger and john is that john would kill the whole world for roger after sitting down and planning the whole thing for several weeks. roger would kill the whole world for john and not remember doing it after (though still probably not regret it)

Roger would act first think later

And John would be like oh I planned it all out two years ago in the shower

Just in case

so roger gets sent to jail and john just...looses it

like he has to get yanked off of miami when the verdict is read of two years sentencing because its not technically miami’s fault??? its just shitty

and meanwhile, roger is getting dragged off to jail and he’s like don’t worry, babe, it’s gonna be fine

(it both is and isn’t)

roger shows up in jail and within a week he’s running the joint, he’s got lackeys and he’s paid off the guards and its basically a vacation

meanwhile john is just burning his competition to the ground, he’s making people rue the day they ever crossed him

(they TOTALLY get conjugal visits that last longer than uhhhh usual)

bc you betcha ass they’d be So fucking possessive of one another. like roger rules that prison with an iron fist 

anyways, miami appeals on the basis of circumstantial, and he basically proves that legit ANYONE else could have done it and this is clearly railroading and obviously roger is innocent

and after 8 months, he walks

when he gets out???? john is there to pick him up

they drive off to a safe house outside of the city and they had wicked crazy dangerous hot sex and its just insanity

and when they come back??? 

its like people know to just flee when they see them

john, mob boss and kingpin, and roger his dangerous and beautiful second in command 

also freddie is roger’s bff, miami is their lawyer, and crystal is roger’s bodyguard who always gets into more trouble than roger but he once took a bullet for roger so he’s chill

ps anyone tries to kidnap roger??? gets dealt with a) by roger and if roger manages to let them get away then b) john. you’d rather be dealt with by roger, and not john

[whistlewhileiblogit]

Warning: LONG POST Being the "Crazy Ex Girlfriend" (with a lot of Arthur Morgan praise)

So on another post (forgot which one welp) I commented saying Arthur Morgan should be the standard for men. I stand by what I said.

And I was thinking, why the hell aren't more men like that? Then it hit me.

Because men see themselves as such already.

So many men put themselves in that role, despite not fitting it at all. They think that they are kind, and loyal and honest...whatever traits you can think of, they believe they are.

And this even includes the ones that jokingly say, "oh I'm an asshole". Because to them that's just it, a joke. They don't really think they're an asshole. Yet one way or another they reveal themselves to be just that.

How many times do men say "you're over reacting"? Or, "you're acting crazy"? And then when you call them out on their bullshit they straight out deny it?

The more I think about my interactions with men- brothers, boyfriends, friends -they all seem to have that in common. They all think they're the "good guy", the "hero" and/or that women are always the problem, or being too dramatic, or to blame, etc.

Allow me to give a few personal examples:

- My first (and only "official") boyfriend of four years constantly lied to me, and was also emotionally manipulative despite that I frequently called him out on it (he once blamed me for his suicide and said I would regret doing nothing to stop it). He also would rile me up over text, then proceed to ignore all my messages/calls. Towards the end of our relationship this worsened to the point where he continually had his friends under the impression I was a "crazy girlfriend". Despite all of this he still saw himself as this martyr, this saviour to me because he frequently tried to buy me off with gifts. He always made sure to mention "all he did for me" in arguments.

- The second ever dude I kinda sorta not really was seeing. I told him straight up from the start I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I was pretty certain I didn't want a relationship yet. He said he fine with it, happy to "see how things go", until one day he got mad at me for not wanting to be introduced to his family and friends as his girlfriend. Proceeded to tell everyone I was "crazy", that I ruined "the best weekend of his life", etc.

- Multiple guy "friends" I've had. Each of these were always just friendships to me. I made that clear. I spoke in a way that showed that. Yet they developed crushes on me. They can't help that, obviously, but then of course each asked me out. And what did I do? Politely reject them. Out of the 5 (I think?) guys over a period of many years, only TWO of them accepted it and dropped it. Oddly enough, those two each got girlfriends a few weeks after. The other three? One of them basically dropped me as a friend completely, another said he wanted to still be friends, which I tried for about four or so years, despite him frequently asking me out over and over again. Each time I said no. He tried to guilt trip me once saying "is it because I'm fat?" which was bs because at the time my well-known crush (who later became my first bf) was fat himself, and actually far heavier than him. Even when my bf and I were dating, he continually pursued me and put my bf down in the process. Not to mention what I think was his attempt at negging me (which obvi didn't work on top of his emotional manipulative behaviour). Eventually enough was enough, and I decided I didn't want to be friends anymore. And the third guy? I had NO idea he liked me, and I never thought of him that way anywho. He and I were becoming really close friends in a time where I didn't have many (I was so nervous making new friends at uni so it was exciting for me). He was really cool at first. Hella funny, and we could dnm about almost everything. Then one day he finally tells me over text that he, and our two other friends (who were dating each other) had formed this plan to try and set us up. I was mildly offended that my friends hadn't even come to me and asked if I was even interested, but let it go. So once again, I told him sorry, I'm not interested. He lowkey sulked that he'd figured he "wasn't my type" because I was always going on about Joel (from TLoU) due to my massive crush on him. He even had the nerve to say that I was "too picky" when it came to dating. After that, he started treating me differently. He wasn't nice anymore. He was actually being intentionally mean. Constantly picking on me in the group chat, etc. When I called him out on it, and told them I wasn't finding the "jokes" funny anymore, what did he do? Tell me I couldn't "take the banter" and that it was my fault because "I'm an easy target". A massive fight ensued and he left the group chat as if to say he'd "won". We haven't spoken since.

I could go on. I could tell soooo many anecdotes of my own, old friends, you name it. Men, on average, seem to all have this air of confidence that they think excludes them from being a decent fucking person.

Men frequently tell me about their "crazy" exes. How women "ruined" them and their lives. How they "just want a normal chick". And in the same moment will turn to me and say shit like, "I'd love a girl like you." or "you're a good chick, you're marriage material."

I'm meant to take it as a compliment. I know that is how I'm supposed to interpret these odd, (kind of) creepy comments.

The worst part is that if I DID date them, and it turned sour, in the end I will undoubtedly be called "crazy" or what have you, most likely. It seems to be a pattern that girls are always the crazy ones.

To swing back to my original point; men always assume they're the good guy.

I know in relationships, particularly in breakups, everyone wants to be the victim, the one who's been wronged. Hell, I am certain I was like that in my teen years.

But the thing is, girls and women are used to taking the blame. We are so often called crazy for the things we say and do that we start to believe it. And we begin to scrutinize our own behaviour. The amount of times my girl friends (and myself included) have admitted, "I could have handled myself better/I was caught up in my emotions/maybe I'm being too hard on him/he's just a guy" etc, compared to guys who have said something like that to me?

I cannot think of one time a guy I know fully admitted his own faults, or apologised without a girl initiating it. Again, because guys think they're the hero in their story.

They think they're all Arthur Morgan's. They think that because they start out gentlemanly and affectionate that that excuses their other shitty behaviours when they come to light.

I legit had a guy friend tell me deadass that he and his girlfriend never called each other just to say things like, "where are you/when are you coming home?" because he considered it an invasion on his privacy.

I mean, what? Checking in on your loved one is a bad thing now?

I'm just gonna say this: if you consider having a girlfriend (or anyone in a committed relationship) any of the following, YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP:

- A "ball and chain"

- Anything that you consider to be "keeping you down"

- A hassle or a nuisance

- An effort (that you don't see as worth the effort)

- Annoying while talking about their interests, hobbies, goals, etc. (basically if talking in general or not talking about things you are specifically interested in is annoying to you)

- You almost never see them already and yet still say "I need space"

- You are dating out of some sort of obligation you feel ("I might as well" "I've gotta get married eventually")

- You are only thinking of ways they can serve you (are they marriage material? Give good head? Obedient? Quiet?)

- You never actually think about them in a selfless way (you don't make an effort to remember birthdays, or things important to them)

- You don't ever make any sacrifice or compromise for them, yet constantly expect them to do it for you

- You think that offering them favours (giving them a lift, taking them to an appointment) will earn you brownie points, instead of doing it because you want to help them out

- You consider it a favour to do something that is at least in part your responsibility ("I'll pay for your birth control this time...")

- You see them as "holding you back" from being with other people sexually, OR you flirt with other people (I had a guy continually flirt with me, telling me how attractive I was because I played video games, all while his gf was in another room)

So all in all, this has been a long, bitter post saying men ain't shit.

And before anyone gets on my ass for it, no, I am not talking about "all men". Anyone who knows me personally knows I really love men...mostly. But sometimes shit has to be said. And in my defense, if you are a man who's first instinct is to say "not all men!!" you're probably part of the problem.

Men, try to be more like Arthur Morgan, or whatever hero of whatever story. Don't assume you already are one. Remember, Arthur didn't start off as a hero, either.