#this is my first time using kid pix to actually draw something and not just fuck around so it's pretty messy

[autistickaitovocaloid]

Kaito kid pix experiment.

[pixs-pinings]

The Moths

In my awakening insert’s... theoretical fic, Pix actually doesn’t get too close to the main story until the time... around the timeskip. She actually joins up with a group called the Shadow Moths (otherwise known as Alicia’s Moths), and just kinda. recruits all the future kids to it.

Anyway here’s how they started off <3

When Alicia looked back, her brother and mother were gone.

She can still hear shouting. She can still feel the way the magic rumbles in her soul whenever their pursuers try to summon Risen; even if she was an unsuccessful attempt at holding Grima, her brother was the successful attempt, so she could still feel that dark magic. She grit her teeth and looked back forward, watching her surroundings as she continued to run.

Her mother was likely dead.

She stumbled. She didn't feel any magic in the air around her. She kept running anyway. Her pink hair whipped rapidly behind her.

Her brother... they'd want to keep him alive. He was the result of a long line of cult breeding, a mark on his hand showing him perfect to house the soul of a demonic dragon.

She hoped he escaped. She hoped that their pursuers only claimed their mother. Alicia couldn't go back to check. She just had to hope. Hope was the best way to combat the despair that being Grimleal caused, her mother had always told her.

She stumbled through some town gates, and realized that she no longer had pursuers. Her hair was a mess, her outfit— the only thing she had left from her time as a Grimleal— was torn to shreds, and she probably didn't look the prettiest. 

She pulled out her money purse, checking what she had in it. Alicia frowned as she counted her gold. This was enough to get one night at the Inn, maybe enough to get another set of clothes... Where could she go from here?

-

"Young Siban..." August's face twisted, and the merchant— Josh— put his hands up in the air and waved it back and forth. "I-I mean, August! Young August! Are you quite sure about this?"

August held the bow in one hand, and held the quiver in the other. It was intricately designed, both matched each other perfectly, it was easy to pull back on the bowstring... Just like she had wanted.

August stared at him, slinging the quiver over her shoulder. "I've spent a lot of gold on this, Josh." She ran a hand through her hair. "If I wasn't sure, I would've backed out at the price."

Josh stared at his hands. "... Are you sure you must go?"

August scoffed, turning around. "My parents decided that for me."

She would miss him. But she wouldn't say that. She had learned better. Keep her heart under lock and key, and she wouldn't be hurt like that again.

August remembered seeing a lone mercenary wandering around, doing tasks that nobody else wished to do. Her parents had recruited her once, for the honor of fighting for their honor or something August didn't pay much attention to at the time. August thought that mercenary would be the perfect one.

August never learned how to fight. That was how she was raised. That lone mercenary, though? She knew how to use her sword to terrifying effect. August had a feeling that she could learn how to use a bow from that mercenary.

Now she would begin her search. 

-

"There we go!"

Rosa backed away from her horse, who lifted up his head and snorted. She slid the horse brush off of her hand, giggling at his attitude. "Don't be like that, Sain! You know I need to do it!" The white-haired girl dropped her brush into a bucket that she had labeled the horse care bucket. She picked it up off the floor and slid it onto the shelf, then made her way back to Sain. 

Rosa brushed her hand down his side, her smile growing wistful. "You and I are similar, you know." Her fingers traced the start of one of his front legs, feeling the natural power behind it. "You're not meant to be a noble steed. You're meant to be out there—" She tossed her free hand in the direction of the exit of the stables, where beams of sunlight were starting to emerge, "—running around, feeling air through your mane..." She brushed her hand over his dark brown mane, twisting it between her fingers. "...But you're stuck in here, just used to deliver messages."

Sain huffed again, and Rosa laughed to herself. "Oh, right, I shouldn't mess up your noble mane, not after I just brushed it." She moved her pale hand back to his body, rubbing her fingers in a circle.

Her face returned to melancholy. "... I want to be outside, too. I wish I could run around out there, I wish that my skin and eyes didn't draw so much attention..." Rosa pressed her face against Sain's neck, and he lowered his head on her shoulder. Her smile lifted. "My parents care so much for how I'll be perceived. If only I could just..."

Her hand stopped on Sain's side, and Rosa drew away from her horse. Sain lifted his head, staring at her in confusion.

Sain could take her anywhere. The only worry she had was that she drew attention when outside, and if she just covered that up... Sain could run free. She could get him saddled up, cover herself, and... go. Sain wasn't meant to be a messenger horse, he was meant to carry soldiers for long battles.

She could do that.

Rosa ran her hand down his neck again, then stepped away. "Hold on for a second." She grinned, heading for the door of Sain's enclosure. "I think I know how to solve both of our problems."

-

How long had it been since she slept?

Ninu curled her flame red wings around her shoulders, disguising it as a cloak like her mother had told her to so long ago. Her long, pale blue dress trailed at her feet, snagging on bushes and branches as she pushed onward.

The trees were different. Their branches and leaves were different from how she had remembered them, before her slumber. Above the trees, she could see the tops of buildings from a city that didn't exist before.

Her dress snagged on another branch. Ninu continued to walk, not minding the holes being torn into the bottom of her dress.

It seemed like the anger that had been building up inside of her had been quelled after her nap, like her mother had said it would.

Waking up and not seeing her face had stung. Not seeing her siblings or father had stung, as well. Were her siblings still alive? Her parents weren't, not if a large time had passed, but her siblings were only barely older than her. Where had they gone?

Her steps slowed when she heard the sound of people talking. It seemed that the language changed, but not enough that she could not understand their conversation.

"That's the reason we have arm guards." A light, yet scolding voice rung out from the clearing ahead. "Go and put it on. Now..." There was a sigh, and the sound of boots turning on dirt. "...Rosa. You have your armor?"

"Yep!" A perky voice responded. 

Ninu thought she could hear the slight grumbling of another voice. Was that who got scolded by the first voice? She couldn't identify the words of that one. She drifted closer, blue eyes gazing over the clearing she had stumbled upon.

Three humans were on one side of the clearing, and three training dummies were set up on the other. A human with light pink hair tied up in a low ponytail was walking around the deep black horse the unnaturally pale human with white hair was sitting on, tracing her hands on... whatever was hanging off of the horse's backside. The third human was digging through a bag with dark brown hands, curly black hair pulled tight into a high bun.

The human with light pink hair nodded, patting the pale human on the leg. "You're ready." She stepped away from the human on the horse, lips curled to a frown. "... You're sure about this?"

"Y-Yeah!" The pale human clutched onto the wooden lance in her hands. "Mercenaries travel, right? And if you train me, even better!"

Ninu was not sure what the pale human was wearing counted as armor. Even disregarding the strangely patterned cloak she wore over her head, the armor seemed too close to the skin to be armor. Ninu remembered bulky iron chainmail, not... whatever she was wearing.

"Okay." The pink-haired human nodded, crossing her arms. "Show me what you got down."

The dark-skinned human pulled on a glove, turning from the bag she had been digging through. The human's hazel eyes met Ninu's, and, judging by the sudden tensing of her shoulders, Ninu had been seen.

"Alicia," The dark-skinned human hissed towards the other two, sharply pointing in Ninu's direction, "we're being watched."

The human on the horse tensed, and the horse neighed with irritation as it turned around. The pink-haired human's reaction was to sharply turn in Ninu's direction, pulling out— that was an actual iron sword.

Sure, it looked different from what Ninu remembered, but the sharpness and general shape echoed in her mind from when her mother showed Ninu her backup weapon.

"Show yourself," The pink-haired human barked, "Before I make you face my blade."

Ninu pulled herself out of the shadows of the trees, stretching out her dragon wings. The anger and tension lessened considerably, in exchange for confused glances being swapped between the three humans.

"Pardon my intrusion." Ninu spoke, bowing. Her wings stretched out to their full length as she bowed, returning to their spot on her shoulders as she returned to standing upright. Surprisingly, the dark-skinned human was a little bit taller than Ninu. "I have awakened from my lengthy slumber, and your gathering caught my eye." Ninu's ears twitched. "My name is Ninu. Might I ask what your business is here?"

The dark-skinned human and the unnaturally pale human both looked at the pink-haired human. The pink-haired human looked over to the two of them, sighed, then stepped forward, looking up to meet eyes with Ninu.

"I'm Alicia," The pink-haired human placed a hand on her chest, "that's August," Alicia pointed to the dark-skinned human, "and that's Rosa." Alicia pointed to the unnaturally pale human on a horse. August and Rosa both waved. "We're... well." Alicia looked back up to Ninu. "We're a new mercenary group, the Shadow Moths."

"We came up with that name, like... five minutes ago." August sighed.

Ninu nodded. Mercenaries, huh? Some things changed, some things stayed the same.

Alicia hummed, and Ninu refocused to her. "... You wouldn't mind if I asked you to join us, right?"

-

A mage stood in front of them. She clutched a tome close to her body, green eyes unable to stay focused on just one person. Her robes were a mix of pink, purple, and blue, covering her body. It was not a typical mage uniform, but it seemed she was used to it, if her performance in that battle was any indication.

Alicia stepped forward. "You said your name was Pix, yes?"

Pix nodded, smiling nervously. "Yeah."

"Pix..." Alicia looked down to the magic tome in Pix's arms, and her mind was pulled back to when she still traveled on the road with Robin and her mother. Their magical skill being at her back was a comfort, and it was something she had missed on the few missions the Moths had been on so far. "Are you open for working with a mercenary group?"

Pix's eyes widened, and her grip on her book tightened. "You..." She struggled for words for a moment. "You want to recruit me?"

"The Moths... we're lacking in mage power." Alicia explained, watching as Pix failed to fully suppress the glee on her face. "You seem to know how to use magic, and if you jumped into a fight you were not initially a part of, you might not have much to do except wander."

Alicia had found Rosa like that, after all.

"Will you accept?"

Pix flattened her face again, though the edges of her lips were still curving upwards. "Yes!" Pix blinked, then coughed into her palm, going slightly red. "Yes, I'll join."

"Good!" Alicia chirped, her own smile widening. "Follow me. The other three are back at our camp, I'll introduce you there."

(August watched Pix's laughter at one of Alicia's jokes get suppressed by herself, and August wondered why their newest member felt the same need to suppress showing emotions like August did.)

(Rosa watched Pix walk into camp at Alicia's side, and couldn't help her smile at someone new.)

(Ninu's gaze followed Pix as the mage got set up for the night of rest, and wondered why her magical aura felt so achingly similar to that of her mother.)

[bleepbloo]

Reaction to The Lovers of the Fallen Tower (Part 1)

I am beyond late, I know, but better late than never right?

I am a little spoiled on the episode on some of the general things that happen, but not the how. So be prepared for ramblings and mind going off in different directions, and also we got so MUCH WORLD-BUILDING!!

Keeping that in mind, I hope y’all enjoy this!

So, off the bat, Olala is very cute. Not much else seems to be needed to say in that regard. She also handles people who died very well, but that’s only because she hasn’t experienced it happening in any relation to her. 

I don’t doubt that’s going to change when she realizes- or if someone makes her realize *looks at Sir Caroline, who is the exact kind of person to tell a child her family is dead* - that her family, her Sisters, died by the Kite’s hand. 

On the subject of Death, if the Queen didn’t call all the journeyman knights because Miller as a town was slaughtered, I will genuinely be surprised. Arum seems to be surprised twice by Olala; once when she mentions that she’s from the Garden of Death- which he recognizes - and when she mentions she’s ‘half-monster’. 

Arum seems to handle kids well, which- doesn’t bug me, necessarily, but it does raise the question of how. He’s been pretty hard-core ID’d as a hermit, both by analysis and the narrative itself, so while I doubt that he’s been around many children, it does lead me to think the Keep wasn’t the only one to raise him? I mean, the way he handled Olala is very different than how the Keep obviously raise Arum; he set boundaries, rules where the Keep indulges, he (tried) not to dump his baggage on her where the Keep sings and talks about everything, he sent her away to the Keep when he needed to have a grown-up conversation with Rilla- that speaks of someone who was taught by someone else. Or he could be just good with children, I’m not holding my breath here

Also, wow, Rilla did not handle anything well, but I mean. Who can blame her? A three person relationship is way different from a two-person one, and while they’re all talking to each other, they’re not communicating. Damien’s more or less committed treason - burning letters from ‘his true home’.

Does that include any letters Angelo might be sending??

How long has Damien been burning letters??

Do his parents even know he’s alive???????

I’m very concerned by this, if only because like- speaking from some personal experience- it can be very jarring to realize that you don’t have the same support network you thought you did, or that because of who you are now cannot coincide. Of course, Arum doesn’t understand it because 1) Hermit, 2) he’s always been accepted by his home, if nothing else. 

They’re all having a bad time of it. 

Still, shoutout to Damien for being a good person and deciding that he needed to be here to defend the child, and did it despite the communication issues with Arum and his own internal issues.

Also, Arum gets annoyed by the Citadel’s renaming of everything, but I have to wonder if the Southern Frosts has it’s own renaming of things?

Because, for those that don’t remember, what Rilla and Tal saw as a sea-shell, Caroline explicitly saw it as a court-house. Which says some interesting things about the Southern Frosts and how they correlate to the monster view of things, and how the Citadel quite clearly deviates from this by renaming things. 

I’m going to chew on that thought in a different post, but for now it’s worth noting. 

In that moment, where he asks to watch it again, he’s exactly the kind of person who would depress watch a show that makes him happy. And it’s done very well how Damien and Arum aren’t really talking to each other. At all. When Damien mentions he’s never heard that moniker before, he says it gently to Olala, not to Arum at all, and when Arum responds, it’s to tell Rilla to tell him.

Which, man. I’d lose my goddamn mind if I had to deal with that on a near-daily basis. (Also, it’s clear that despite Damien’s status as knight, he stays within the Northern border, and that there’s REALLY not a lot of visitors from the West, which kind of shows that despite the quite large amount of land there is in the world, people - of the West, South, North, and ESPECIALLY the East (if there’s anyone who lives out there)- don’t travel much, which contributes to the xenophobia of the North & South at the very least!)

I’m going to chew on this more - between college and life - but it’s clear that the West is something of a united front, at least where Olala was from. They allow monsters to visit and live with them, use magic and science hand-in-hand, are both in a place of death and yet holds so much life (fungi)- it’s literally the middle ground between the North and the South. Also, really glad that the Arum finally mentioned the entire North being called ‘the Second Citadel’ so I can stop referencing that one time early access content was allowed for all patrons. 

It’s also interesting that a place has emotions, but then, magic. Which we still don’t know how it works really. 

Also, I should mention that when I heard the name ‘emotional resonator’, I thought that it was going to- locate an emotion and fixate on it, drawing it out like a fish on a fishing pole. 

This was not that.

“Increase the anxiety-”, y’know what, I had to pause here, and say that you shouldn’t try and increase the anxiety of a place, ESPECIALLY NOT IN A PLACE THAT’S STILL VERY AND CLEARLY TRAUMATIZED!!!!!

This just proves that while Rilla and Arum have high INT, they both - together- have a very low WIS. And Rilla proves that she’s Marc’s sister by impulsively going when the experiment has been run. 

Parapet of the wilds. Hm. For those that don’t know, a parapet the part of a wall or a tower that stops you from falling off the top of a building. Then a two of the wilds, nine of some sort of mirror or snail (the East? Sage Helicoid??). Also, I want to take this moment to apologize for the length of this- school has kept me busy so to talk like this is very nice, except I’m still in the middle of it and I’m sure there’s going to be more to come. 

Poor Olala, caught in the middle. This is DEFINITELY NOT what Marc had in mind when he left Olala in the care of Arum. 

And, ah, the building does have a type. Conflicting lovers. 

Hm, so towers can be used to get magical currents. 

There’s also a story, called Babbalon, where, together, all of humanity was working together to ascend to heaven. And it was working, which made God, worried, so God broke the tower, and cursed people to have completely separate languages from each other so that they could never again get so close to Heaven. Considering present circumstances, with humanity and monsters, the same metaphor works here. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if there was one on the side of the world to the West, East, and South. 

Also, I have to wonder when Pix and David are- they clearly lived at the Terminus for a few years before everything went boom, and they were building the Bridge- aka the Fallen Tower - prior to getting attacked. I’ve wondered if it’s before or after the First Citadel fell. I mean, it’s probably before, but how much before?

Also, jesus Rilla, this- I know you want Damien and Arum to get along, but using it TWICE like this WHEN ARUM EXPLICITLY STATES IT’S *DANGEROUS* IS A BAD IDEA! Of course, she does it anyway. 

AND NOW WE GET CONFIRMATION THAT THERE ARE LIGHTS OFF THE EDGE OF THE WORLD, and also a name Zin? That’s going to come up again, mark my words. Every significant person in the world/story - Queen Mira, Sir Damien, Sir Absolom, David, Pix, Senator Calin(?mentioned by the nameless monsters at the end of the World)- everyone who has some sort of name, and I do mean name, is going to come up again. It happened with Queen Mira, Sir Damien, Pix, David, it’s going to be brought up with Sir Absolom soon, mark my words.

Anyway, point is, Pix saw lights!

Even if it’s like- Plateau's, where each land mass is separated by degrees of going down, or like, the Citadel Plateau’s is separated from the land mass below it, there’s still SOMETHING out there! I’m very excited for it. 

And, oh, it was just minutes after this that Pix and David died, wasn’t it? Oh. 

And oh, GOd. She’s looking for answers in the wrong place. She’s looking in a two-person relationship- her situation and theirs are- so far from different that it’s like looking through 3-d colored glass with just one eye. 

Their species are at war, and that- like it or not- still affects their relationship. 

I mean, I get it, but also, there are other things that could’ve been attempted first. 

Oh god, poor Olala. She’s stressed out, by the anxiety and by the machine and by everything that her body is literally changing out of stress! Honestly, mood, but also, huh. It means that who- or what, depending- these memories belong to, is also resonating with Olala. 

And the Bridge, destroyed. This IS STILL NOT BIDING WELL FOR WHEN WE ACTUALLY GET TO THE TOWER CARD. I am going to keep harping on this until I’m metaphorically black and blue. 

I don’t know if it’s the memory of the person or the machine glitching/repeating out on itself, or some combination thereof(you know, like a panic attack), but this certainly explains the description of the next episode.

Also, I love how Arum is so unimpressed with Damien’s ‘one miracle’, because functionally Arum(in D&D terms) like a Warlock to his Keep’s patronage, can create some thousand miracles and things that have never existed before, even though it’s still super impressive that Damien was even able to do the ONE miracle. 

Damien, when he isn’t being a xenophobic dingus, is actually quite smart. 

And that’s the end of the episode, part 1.

Also, the names at the end of the Episode fucking kill me, fucking superb you funky donators.

I’ll soon be back, with Part 2 reaction. And then we get to munch onto some good, good theories. 

[ephrampettaline]

chatzy au log with @ephrampettaline and @freddiewatts. conclusion to red right hand: a gangster au. all titles by nick cave and the bad seeds. thank you to everyone who participated for lending your characters, your time, and your creativity <3

Ephram paused inside the door of F.R.Watts, Fine Tailoring, the stump of his missing finger giving a sudden sharp ache as the smell of bolts of fabric and iron-warmed starch hit him and brought a lurch of nausea. He gave a short grunt and let the door shut, ringing the bell above the doorway as Ephram dropped his umbrella in the stand and walked past the front table towards the main office. 

"Awright, Pix," he greeted the prettily-furbelowed shop girl, who rustled in her candy box for another piece of chocolate and said only, "--he's not in a good mood today," but otherwise made no move to prevent Ephram when he knocked on Freddie's frosted-glass door and opened it. "Essie Caird's dead," Ephram said with no preamble, "and that's only the tip of the fucking iceberg." He threw himself down in a chair, scowling.

“And hello to you too, darling,” Freddie said drily, setting aside the invoice he’d been going over and looking up at Ephram. “I’ve actually already been informed of Miss Caird’s rather bloody demise, though. A Miss Petal Popovitch was round this morning - engaging woman, absolutely stunning in a French frock - and she had quite a story to tell.”

Freddie raised an eyebrow at Ephram, clucking his tongue. “I’ll bet you ruined your new suit, didn’t you? I mean, really, love, the girl weighed what - 7 stone soaking wet? Were that many bullets really necessary to dispatch her? Honestly, it’s like you don’t care about good silk at all.”

Ephram's eyebrows shifted as he folded his hands against his chest and steepled his long fingers, staring at Freddie. "Petal Popovitch came here? To your shop? I can just imagine the version of accounts that she fed you, too." He pressed the tip of his nose to his fingers. "As well as the money she offered for you to reconsider your allegiances."

“Do I have allegiances?” Freddie asked in mock surprise, making no attempt to hide the way his eyes went to the gaping space where Ephram’s ring finger used to reside. “News to me. You see, I was reliably informed that my would-be partner had rather unceremoniously cut me out of our little business venture. Have you heard that, darling? So I don’t see how I’ve got any allegiances to speak of to anyone other than myself.” 

He paused then, dragging out the silence and fixing Ephram with a narrow-eyed stare. Waiting one beat, two, three... “Go on then, say you’re sorry,” he instructed, “I’m waiting.” 

Freddie pointed suddenly at Ephram’s hands, “And the point of those gloves I sent you was for you to wear them, you silly boy. It hardly pays to advertise having been got the better of.” The tailor smirked. 

“...That’s why I never let it happen to me.”

"I figured," Ephram said after a moment, "you'd conduct your own negotiations on behalf of Watts interests. And since we're both well aware that you don't waste a moment going after the things you want, Freddie," he scratched his chin with both thumbs, blinking slowly at his friend, "I saw my offer to Miss Caird as ordinary affairs of business. You and I never did get around to hashing out the dotted i's and crossed t's of what we're doing together, after all." 

Ephram wrinkled his nose as he held his mangled hand out at arms' length to look at its ugly disfigurement. "I forgot," he admitted, slipping his hand under his coat tucked against his side. "Not that I don't appreciate the gloves, they're very handsome. It was thoughtful of you." Cheek twitching slightly, he added, "--I suppose you learned about that from your own people? Although I hear Petal's wasted no time spreading the news around town."

“Ah, I see,” Freddie said, as if genuinely considering Ephram’s rubbishy little explanation for his double-dealing, “Not actually sitting down with me to work out the specifics of our little arrangement, and instead going round me to work out an exclusive situation with the late Miss Caird was just good business sense.” Freddie smiled. “Barely running things for a fortnight and already able to teach me lessons. Shall I take notes?” A glimmer of amusement danced in his eyes, “I mean, since that little manoeuvre worked out so well for you.” 

Freddie held Ephram’s gaze for a minute, then rubbed his hands together. 

“Right. Well, enough of that for the moment - you’ll deliver an additional third of your share of the guns and a hundred dollarpounds to my boys at the warehouse tonight, and you and I will put this unpleasantness behind us, yeah?” he said, his tone brooking no argument. “Just to shore up our... allegiances; and then we’ll say no more about it.” The gangster sat back in his chair, smiling again. “And you’re welcome for the gloves. I’m sure they look lovely on you. Stitched them myself as a matter of fact.” 

Freddie frowned slightly, thinking, then added, “For what its worth, I really am sorry that happened, darling - and I did hear about it from my own sources. That iron they used was likely still smoking when I’d got wind of what had happened.” He laced his own fingers together. “Your sister should have bloody well known better, mate. What will you be doing about that?”

Ephram murmured, "What can I do, Freddie. She's family. She's my sister. I trust her judgement more than anything." His hand gave a protesting throb against his side as if to point out that this trust could use a little re-evaluation after the kidnapping debacle, but Ephram ignored it, forcing his mind to turn to a different aspect of their work. 

Rubbing a hand over his head in agitated circles, he said, "Yes, fine, Freddie -- I bollocksed it up in places, all right? So fine, a third of the guns and a hundred along with them. But..." Ephram pressed his lips together for a moment, then sat up, leaning forward. "But wouldn't you rather have a thicker slice of the pudding than that? With Caird dead, and the Jacks having shot down the lion's share of the men who were there at the warehouse, there's only her second Craig who's standing in the way of you and me taking over their arms trade. Think of it, Freddie. Kingfisher and Watts in a proper alliance, christened with inroads into our own dedicated supply of munitions." His voice dropped to a snarl as he said, "Let Petal and her Skull Boys fucking contend with that, eh?"

Freddie raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “And somehow being being ‘family’ makes her more intelligent than the average tit who might stumble into the hands of the enemy?” Freddie was all business now, straight ahead and serious. “Honestly, Ephram, take a look at the situation. If that was anyone but your dear sweet sister, how would you have handled things, eh? What would you have done? And really think about your answer, love, because you’re asking me to tie myself to you; to throw my hard-earned money and influence in with your nascent leadership; and while I’m not saying no,” Freddie looked at Ephram pointedly, “I don’t trust your Cassie as far as I can bloody well throw her. She and those kids are a liability, mate. So long as she’s a part of the business. To you, to me, to anyone with a stake in the Jacks.” Freddie got up to pour himself a drink, handing one to Ephram first. 

“You need to draw some lines, sunshine, or you and I haven’t got anything to talk about but the weather.”

"She doesn't trust you either. She thinks you'd sell us out soon as look at us." Ephram took the drink that Freddie gave him, looking up at the other man as he lingered in the brush of their fingers together. "But this business with Petal Popovitch has made me look at things differently, you're right. I don't want to, but I can't deny it -- and it'll be common knowledge just as much as them taking my fucking finger. That they took my sister right out from under my nose, from under protection, in front of a boarding house that's known to be sympathetic to the Jacks. Because she got impatient and went walking afield when she should have stayed put." 

Not that Cassie had seen it that way, of course; his sister never admitted to doing anything wrong even when her brother's finger was being eaten by the flames of their own fireplace. Clenching his jaw with an audible clack, Ephram said, "...she wants Voeman, they've had their stint of fucking each other. I'll get him a divorce and then he can take her and the kids away. To the bloody country, maybe. I'll set her up with a business to run and he'll protect her and I'll go round for birthdays and Christmas." Ephram had thought, when he'd started speaking, that it would all sound ridiculous and he'd end up scoffing at the idea by the end. Instead, the opposite happened: each new decision when it came to Cassie's more suitable future sounded more and more reasonable, flooding him with a sense of relief at the thought of his sister safe and away. 

Ephram put his glass to his lips, a troubled look on his face, but he said, "I already know it's raining, Freddie. I've come in out of it."

Freddie opened his mouth to say something smart, something about his being the only evidence of sense and loyalty in the room - but then he closed it again as Ephram carried on speaking, giving voice to a new separate future for his sister; and Freddie smiled softly, able again to see the boy he’d known just behind the eyes of the man sat before him. To feel him in that brush of fingertips. 

And when Ephram assured him that he’d finally come in out of the rain, Freddie only smiled wider, murmuring, “Good man. Now tell me more about this Craig bloke, hm? And let’s compare notes on our Miss Popovitch. If we’re going to take her out of the game, we’re going to need to mark our cards first.”

                                                 ---***---***---

Ephram leaned into the strokes of his rowing, the oars cutting silently through soot-dark water as he regarded Freddie sitting on the other end of their little skiff. "You look good," Ephram said, then amended, "--you looked good back there. Strong. Intimidating." As they'd brought the combined forces of Slap Jacks and Watts down on what was left of the Caird operation, catching Craig completely off-guard; the lack of a definitive Jacks victory in the firefight of the other day had made Essie's second wrongly believe that he'd come out on top of the skirmish and would be respected and left alone. Or at least, given the parameters of Ephram's deal with Essie, that it would be only the Jacks looking for retaliation. 

He hadn't been prepared for double the might, and after securing the warehouse with the direct promise of the others to follow, Freddie and Ephram had left on their own business of the night. A crate of which had been left on a two-hour fuse in the port offices of the Green Tent Shipping Company -- informally known as the Skull Boys Boats -- and one of which was in the boat between them as Ephram rowed them out to the Green Tent flagship. 

Freddie's face was inscrutable in the dark, but Ephram drank in the lines of his muscled, compactly coiled figure as he rowed. "It feels ... fucking good to be working together again. Why didn't we before?" 

There were dozens of answers to that question. Ephram was just curious to see which one Freddie would choose.

Freddie smiled in the dark, pleased by the compliment - it was true, of course; he had looked good at the warehouse, and he knew that he looked just as good here and now in the moonlight - not particularly caring which instance Ephram was referring to. “I am those things, darling,” Freddie said, his smile apparent in his voice if not on his face, “-but I have to admit, you looked rather good yourself, love. I mean, the Jacks are all yours now; any fool can see that. The King is dead - long live the King, yeah?” 

He watched as Ephram rowed, the tall man’s motions smooth and unhurried, confident and capable, but he couldn’t help but laugh lightly when Ephram asked why they hadn’t been working together before, when clearly they did it so well. “Why?” Freddie chuckled, “Well, I seem to remember your rather obstinate need to distance yourself from me after that business at the races, darling. And then your father was a rather large stumbling block, as well... and let’s not forget how dour you got after the war.” Freddie smirked. “But those are just a few ideas off the top of my head. Why do you think we stopped?” 

They were nearly at the ship now, and Freddie turned round in his seat to get a better look at things. “Just a little closer, love,” he said, “Then I’ll be able to reach the line.”

"I think," Ephram said, a note of audacious self-satisfaction in his own voice at Freddie's acknowledgement of his place at the head of Kingfisher and therefore the Jacks, "it's because I like you too much. And I learned -- after the races, and from the old man, and on the front line -- that just because I liked someone, it didn't mean shit when things got down to the wire." Some of the hardness had crept back into his voice unbidden, but Ephram followed this answer with a grin, madcap and brash even as he was forced to adjust his left hand's grip on the oar. 

"But fuck all that for the tepid stuff and nonsense it is, eh? You and me, we're men whose entire existences revolve around betting high even when the odds are astronomical." He adjusted the angle of his rowing, bringing Freddie up against the side of the ship. 

"We've got an hour and forty," Ephram reported, glancing at his watch. "Should be enough time. More than enough, since we both know our way around these ships." And the destruction of this one, even paired with blowing up the port office, wouldn't keep Skull Boys down forever -- but Councilor Brindle wouldn't wait for Petal Popovitch to get them back up and running again. He'd have every reason to accept the next most profitable bid on the brandy shipping contract, and Kingfisher & Co would be happy to serve government and country.

“Unless that person happens to be family,” Freddie shot back, returning Ephram’s grin, “-but you’re right, love, we live in a world of risk versus reward, you and I. We’ve the stomach for it - the balls for it - and we both know the only real winning is the sort you do when the stakes are highest.” He reached out and grabbed the line he’d mentioned once they’d got close enough, getting to his feet unsteadily and flashing Ephram a cheeky wink, sure that he could see it now that the moon had climbed just a bit higher. “That’s why gambling on each other is so appealing, sweetie,” he teased, “It’s the only real risk left.” 

Taking a firm hold of the thick rope, Freddie began to climb quickly up the side of the ship, making use of the muscles he was so proud of for a change, then swung himself up onto the deck; tossing down enough rope that Ephram could secure their crate of dynamite, rendering it able to be hauled carefully up. 

“Mind you tie your knots tight, love,” Freddie called down in a hushed voice, the lapping of the water all but drowning him out, “And keep your feet dry, yeah?”

Ephram bit back any retorts he might have had to Freddie's exhortation about the quality of his ropework, deciding that his more mercurial companion should have the larger helping of chatter for the night -- Ephram felt Freddie was owed that much, and besides, he liked hearing Watts' treacle-and-brandy voice creak on the seams of his emphasized words. He merely pulled the rope firm and taut and signalled up to Freddie to haul the cargo aboard while Ephram secured their skiff to the side of the bigger boat. The line slithered back down to him, and it was Ephram's turn to haul himself up, digging his toes against the hull to help him along until he was standing on the deck next to Freddie. 

"All right," Ephram said lowly -- there were only a few guards on the boat, three at the most, but that didn't mean stealth wasn't the more welcome option until they had no other recourse -- "let's get this down into the hold." There was enough dynamite in the crate to blow the entire boat sky-high, but scuttling the craft was better work. Mutilation sometimes sent a stronger message than sudden death, Ephram thought with a wry huff. 

He was bending to pick up his end of the crate when something prickled at the edges of his vision, at the corners of sound. "Freddie," Ephram began, but by then he didn't have to say anything. Lights flashed on the dock, and men in uniform began to appear. 

A column, then a stream, then a veritable swarm, filling out the dock and the Green Tent piers, armed to the teeth.

“Fucking hell,” Freddie swore under his breath, watching as the sea of soldiers spread out across the harbour, almost amazed that the pier could take the weight of them, there were so many. “Where the bloody hell did they come from?” he hissed, “How could they have mobilised so fucking quickly?” He tugged Ephram down to keep them out of sight for now. “My first question ought to be, ‘who are we bloody killing first when we get out of here?’” he muttered, “But as satisfying as that little fantasy might be, it’s not exactly helpful of the moment.” 

Freddie looked around, seeing no sign of the guards that should have been on the ship with them, and plenty of activity on the docks as the regiment piled into boats of their own. “Are you still a good swimmer, love?” he asked, “Because keeping our feet dry doesn’t look to be much of an option anymore.”

Ephram belatedly dropped down when Freddie pulled on him, his mind racing. "I'm as good a swimmer as I ever was," he said, "but Freddie -- they're on the water, too. Just now, I saw em. We jump overboard now and they'll just scoop us up like fuckin' pike outta the drink." The soldiers, after all, had military-grade flashlights with them and the advantage of numbers. 

Ephram gave a frustrated growl, thumping the side of his fist lightly against the crate, then flattening his hand on the wood, frowning at it. "Y'know," he said, "I don't see why them soldiers should stop what it is we're about to do." Ephram looked at Freddie over the crate, eyes worried but full of exhilaration and fight at the same time. "Only I reckon there's no need to take it down to the hold when we could make our fireworks display right up here in the open. Since they come to see a show and all."

Freddie huffed, not amused exactly - there wasn’t much to find funny about this current state of affairs - but bizarrely not... not, either. “I was hardly advocating we jump off the starboard side, darling,” he argued, though inexplicably he found himself almost smiling, his blood rushing. Ephram had the right of it though, Freddie could see that; the instant they hit the water they were done for - so when Ephram suggested they carry on with the plan, soldiers be damned, Freddie met his eyes and held them, nodding his head as a real smile began to tug at the corner of his mouth. It was reckless, of course - insane, really - but Freddie was no fatalist; nor was he interested in being a guest of His Majesty; and as mad as this was, it was likely the best chance they had. God willing. If they timed it right. 

Which Freddie fully intended to do. 

“Right then,” he said, reaching out and giving Ephram’s arm a squeeze, “Bonfire Night will come a bit early this year.’’

"Prepare to be boarded!" came a sudden announcement, blaring over a megaphone. "Stand down and surrender and you will be shown clemency!"

Ephram snorted in response, nodding over at the thick pole of the main mast. "Sure, right," he said sarcastically as they hefted up the crate and started to move it. "And we'll be allowed conjugal visits in gaol and fed roast beef dinners twice a day." 

He knocked off the lid of the crate and took out bundles of the dynamite, packing them around the mast and cramming some of the shredded wood pulp around the edges to keep them from rolling away down the deck. "So what are you gonna do with your share of our new gunrunnin' operation?" Ephram asked conversationally as he worked. "I'm thinking of opening a tailor shop. I reckon I got an eye for style. You should see this fuckin' exquisite pair of gloves I got at home, real clever worksmanship. You'd be impressed, Freddie."

Freddie took the other side of the crate and helped Ephram shift it, laughing at his friend’s sarcastic suppositions about what their incarceration might entail before it reached its sudden and unavoidable conclusion at the end of a gallows rope, finally doing his bit to unpack their firepower and arrange it around the mast. And he chuckled again, genuinely struck funny, when Ephram began to wax on about his new business aspirations. 

“It wouldn’t be for you, love,” Freddie said with a shake of his head and a grin, “You’ve sworn off things like inseams and shoulder-width, and a man really should enjoy his work. Dress-making though,” Freddie smirked, “I imagine that’s a bit more up your street these days.” 

Taking the last of the dynamite bundles out of the crate, Freddie passed it to Ephram, taking his gold cigarette lighter from his pocket. “I’m glad you like the gloves though, darling. You always did have lovely hands.”

"I did," Ephram said with a wry twist of his mouth as he packed the last of the dynamite against the carefully stacked heap and then flipped his depleted hand back and forth. "I did have lovely hands. And y'know, I reckon -- your gloves were the most fuckin' thoughtful thing anybody's done for me in a long time, Freddie." 

Not that Ephram had done so much that he deserved to have people show him thoughtful gestures. Plenty of men had come back from war as decorated heroes and gone on to indulge their more nefarious tendencies. His did happen to be the family business, but that didn't make it any more righteous. Doctor Miguel wandering around with his patches and potions, maybe he was righteous; or poor ol' Joey, living not one but two lives that made him unhappy but were promises to fulfill. 

Ephram wondered if Cassie felt righteous, able to wash her hands of the bloodshed because they never held a gun, only her children. He wondered with a slight smile if she'd ever learn Mrs. Hudson's real name or if the housekeeper would ever correct her.

Ephram took a breath, about to tell Freddie to light it up. But instead he leaned forward, hanging onto the side of Freddie's neck with his one still-lovely hand, and kissed his oldest friend and all-sorts-of-partner hard, breath picking up until he was panting, pressing his forehead against Freddie's when he stopped. "Dress-making indeed," Ephram rumbled out, thumb drawing semi-circles against Freddie's temple. "You fucking cheeky sod."

“Everyone deserves a thoughtful gesture every now and again, love,” Freddie said, “-even men like us.” And then he winked, “Though, truth be told, I’ve never made a habit of getting what I deserve.” 

What Ephram did next though caught him by surprise, and he felt as though time had stopped somehow as he watched Ephram move. Leaning forward, catching him and drawing him close, and kissing him, just like they used to, when the world was waiting and still owed them their due - and Freddie kissed back, savouring it like they had all the time in the world. All that forever and forever and forever rubbish, surrounded by armed men and dynamite. 

Which was fitting, really; because why the fuck not? 

And when it ended, they stood there, close and intimate, and Freddie grinned at the name-calling, feeling oddly like all was right with the world. “Christ, I hope we live through this,” he said, stealing one more filthy kiss and then stepping back, flicking his lighter. “Count of three, darling. One... two...”

Ephram gave a single terse nod.

“Three.”

He watched as that wicked fuse was lit, the sound of sparking and sizzling oddly very loud amidst the sound of the boatfuls of soldiers coming up against the ship and beginning to board with yelled threats and warnings. The two of them hustled their way to the side of the ship that faced away from port, startling and instinctively ducking only a little when the office building blew up in a spectacular blast on shore. Instantly the hubbub multiplied, shouts and orders and shots, and Freddie and Ephram climbed up fast. 

And jumped.

Their feet had just left the worn rail when their own hastily-planted explosion went off behind them with the mast screaming its way down, the force of the blast roaring at their backs--

-- propelling them into the cold and fiery night air, their silhouettes frozen in time for one breathless moment; out over the steep soundless drop into Soapham’s deep, dark, blood-filled waters.

[chasholidays]

Well Maybe You Should Stay : Monty

A Weary With Right Angles timestamp for @astairelover

"So," says Nate on Friday morning, "I was thinking maybe we could skip the con today."

"Are you guys going to have sex all day while we're at the con?" Raven asks, frowning. "Because, come on, that's a huge waste of money. You could have just stayed home and had sex."

"Hotel sex is different from home sex," says Gina.

Monty's feeling confused too, but not really about the relative merits of where to have sex. Nate's not really paying attention to the conversation, watching Monty with interest, like this answer is a big deal, and that’s disconcerting.

"Yeah, I'm going to say it depends on the alternate plan,” he says. “Sex isn’t a big draw for me. What did you want to do? We came for the anime convention."

"They opened up the Star Wars exhibit at Disneyland."

"I guess as long as you're still being a giant dork, it's okay," says Raven, and Nate flips her off before turning his attention back to Monty.

"There's tons to do there, and I've never done any of the Disney shit, it might be fun. I figure it'll be a little less crowded today than it would be on the weekend."

It is a little bit surprising, less that Nate wants to go and more that this is the first Monty is hearing about it. They've been planning this trip for a while, and suddenly, out of nowhere, they're going to Disneyland?

Something is definitely up.

"I guess we don't have much special going on at the con today," he says, with a shrug of one shoulder. If Nate's got a plan, there's no way he's going to ruin it. "I've never been to Disneyland either. I wouldn't mind checking it out."

"I can't believe you guys are going to miss Wells' soulmate's panel."

"I don't think she cares," Nate shoots back. They haven't actually met her yet, although she and Wells got dinner last night, and by all accounts it's going well. He's walking around in a perpetual state of looking like he got punched in the face, which seems about right. Haruka Kamizawa isn't exactly a household name, even for anime fans, but it's closer than anyone else Monty knows has come to having a celebrity for a soulmate. Add in the language barrier and the complications of living in two different countries and it must be a whole lot to deal with.

He still doesn't know how they're going to sort that out, but he assumes they'll figure it out.

"Yeah, I think she'll live," he agrees. "I want to pretend to fly the Millennium Falcon."

"Legit," says Raven. "Send pictures."

Nate rolls his eyes, but he's smiling a little. "Yeah, don't worry. We'll make sure to document it."

*

Me: Not to jinx anything But I think Nate might be proposing

Jasper: At an anime convention?? Bold move

Me: No, we're going to Disneyland He made it sound like a whim but he clearly planned it He did all this research Should I ask him if he's proposing or pretend like I don't know?

Jasper: You still don't know I mean he might be That's definitely a potential proposal situation But you're not sure

Me: No

Jasper: Here's my take If you're going to be really disappointed if he doesn't do it, ask if he's going to If you're cool either way, don't

Me: Huh You think?

Jasper: If he's doing it, he wants it to be a surprise He put some work into it So if you can act like you didn't figure it out, I feel like you should But if you're wrong and you're going to be really upset about it Maybe check before you get your hopes up too high

Me: This is coming from someone who has done a lot of big romantic gestures, huh

Jasper: Some of us have to work for our relationships Come to think of it, if you're going to say no, you should also tell him But I assume you're saying yes

Me: Yeah If he asks, I'll say yes And if he doesn't, maybe I'll ask him soon Apparently I want to get married? So that's cool to know

Jasper: Awesome Congrats I hope he proposes at Disneyland, that would be pretty slick Have fun

Me: You too How's the beach?

Jasper: Pretty good I think I'm getting along pretty well with the family Her dad and I stayed up late last night drinking while he told me about serving in the army I think that's good?

Me: Did he tell you about the people he killed Was it an implicit threat

Jasper: No it was more like "I was a dumbass kid over my head, but now I have brothers for life" Etc He might have been trying to get me to enlist but like in a good way

Me: Nice Okay, Nate's out of the shower I think we're taking off Have a good day at the beach

Jasper: Let me know if you get engaged Send Disney pix either way

Me: [thumbs up]

*

It's honestly kind of weird, how invested Monty finds himself in the marriage thing.

He thinks about it as Nate drives their Zipcar over to Anaheim, distracted as he tries to figure out how, exactly, he's feeling about it.

It's not going to break his heart, if Nate doesn't propose today, that's for sure. If this really was a whim and not part of a calculated romantic gesture, that's not a big deal. He's not attached to getting engaged today, or to having any kind of big to-do about it.

But he'd like to get engaged, and he'd like to get married, and if this isn't Nate proposing, then he wants to have a conversation about it and figure out if Nate's interested in that too.

Which is a pretty cool revelation.

"So, do you have a plan?" he asks Nate, once he's sorted that out. It's only a little bit to fuck with him, if he is going to propose.

Nate startles. "What?"

"I assume you did some kind of research. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do?"

"Oh, yeah, I did do research. There's a lot to do just wandering around in the Star Wars area, but--" He pauses. "I should just give up pretending I didn't plan this, right?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Okay, I got us fast passes for the all rides I could, so that should be good."

"What were you going to do if I didn't want to go?"

"Take Bellamy," he says, and Monty snorts. "I would have tried to talk you into it. But I thought you'd probably like it."

"Next time, you can just tell me it's a surprise and bring me to a mysterious location in an unmarked car. I trust you, I'll just go with you on this stuff."

"Okay, well--surprise. I thought we should take a Disney vacation while we were here. Not that I don't like anime, but it wasn't like there was anything we were super into going on here."

"Which is kind of hilarious, if you think about it." Nate cocks his head, and Monty clarifies, "We're more invested in anime than pretty much anyone else here? Raven only likes mecha, Gina only likes Raven, Bellamy and Clarke have no clue what’s happening, and Wells is here for his soulmate. But somehow we're the ones skipping out on the convention to go to Disneyland."

"I bet Bellamy and Clarke are bored by tomorrow. They’ll probably go into town to stalk celebrities or something."

"Yeah, that sounds like them. Maybe they can go to Disneyland too."

"The Harry Potter thing at Universal."

"They've got options, yeah." He smiles down at his hands; if Nate wants to propose, that's cool, but--maybe this is just a surprise. Maybe he just wanted to do something nice for Monty. That's not nothing. "Thanks for doing this," he says. "Setting all this up. It's cool."

"No problem. Thought it would be fun."

Monty settles a little more comfortably into the seat. "Yeah. Can't wait."

*

If they had actually been planning a visit to Disneyland, specifically, they probably could have done better with it. The first weekend in July--even if Friday isn't technically part of the weekend yet--is a busy time, and while the park is large, everything still feels crowded and rushed and overstuffed.

But maybe that's part of the experience too. It wouldn't be the same, going to a deserted amusement park. It might be better, of course, but it wouldn't be what Disneyland is all about.

So they just lean into it. They're tourists; they might as well own it. They get pictures taken with whichever costumed characters take their fancy. They try on novelty sunglasses and hold up t-shirts they won't buy and are, not to brag, kind of stupidly adorable. He would totally watch this montage in a movie.

"This is actually pretty cool," Nate admits, over lunch.

Monty has to smile. "Wait, were you expecting it to suck?"

"No, I wasn't expecting it to suck. But I didn't know if we were actually going to like it, or if it would end up kind of--hokey, I guess? I wasn't sure how much appeal there is for adults."

Monty nudges his foot. "We're not adults, we're young at heart. Also, we're not even thirty, let's not get carried away here. You're not Bellamy."

"You know what I mean."

"I know, yeah. I never did this as a kid so I always kind of wondered if, like--it would be fun for me if I did."

"Without the nostalgia."

"Exactly." He grins. "Then again, we're in the Star Wars park, so maybe nostalgia's still a thing. This is definitely some childhood dreams coming true."

"Yeah? Good. I was hoping--" He clears his throat, looks down. "I was hoping you'd like it. I feel like we haven't really gotten to do anything fun in a while. Nothing that's a big deal."

It hadn't been bothering Monty, but in a way, he supposes it's true. Their recent trips have either been for business or holidays, which never feel as much like a vacation as spontaneous time off does.

"I don't need a lot that's a big deal," he says. "Board game nights and laidback weekends work for me."

"Yeah, but--I saw the chance to do something romantic and I took it."

"You did a great job."

He ducks his head on a smile. "Cool. Glad I did it right."

Somehow, he's sure. "You aren't going to propose, right?"

All the happiness just drains from his face, and he looks like he might be sick. "Oh, shit, no, I--what?"

"I'm not upset," he says quickly. "I just thought this might be the first step in a grand romantic gesture. But if this is the whole gesture, that's great. This is awesome."

"That would have been a really good idea, though," Nate muses. "Proposing at the Millennium Falcon? That would have been awesome."

"It's not actually too late," Monty points out. "We're still here. Not that--we don't have to. But I want to get engaged, and if we do it here, a bunch of people will take pictures and we might get on a website or something."

"I don't have a ring."

"I bet we could find a cheap one."

"Cheap?" Nate asks. "At Disneyland?"

"Not cheap, but, you know. Something symbolic. Plastic, maybe."

"Disney princess ring?"

"Works for me."

That eats up a lot of their afternoon, trying to find something they can use to make it clear that a proposal is happening without necessarily breaking the bank, and Monty finally just says, "They have to have Star Wars rings, right?"

Of course, they do, and they both pick one out, and Monty honestly cannot think of a single reason for them to ever get different engagement rings. The whole jewelry thing is a scam; this is all he needs.

"Who's proposing?" he asks. "Me or you?"

"Huh," says Nate. "I was thinking me, but if you want to, you can. It was your idea, we should do it however you want."

"It feels weird to tell you to propose to me."

"I want to propose to you. I'm just annoyed I didn't think of it myself."

He laughs, bumps his shoulder against Nate's. "Team effort."

"Team effort. I just don't think about marriage much. Not, like--I want to. But you're my soulmate and we already live together, it never felt that pressing. I've already got everything I want."

"That's really good, you should put that into your proposal speech.”

He snorts. "I think I can figure something out."

Monty's expecting it to be in the cockpit, but in terms of drama, he has to admit there's something to be said for the spot Nate picks, right outside the Falcon, with the ship in the backdrop. And he manages to make it a surprise, too, taking Monty's hand and saying, "Hey, hold on a sec." Even knowing the proposal is coming, Monty doesn't actually realize this is it, just assumes Nate has another question until he's getting down on one knee.

“Oh shit,” he says, and Nate smirks, just for a second, before he clears his throat and gets down to business.

"This is what I used to dream about, when I was a kid," he says, looking up at Monty, all earnest adoration. "This exact moment. In some--dorky place, with this boy who loves me, and cares about this stuff I care about. This is exactly what I thought I'd never get, Monty. I thought I'd never be the right fit for anyone, even you. I still can't believe how happy I am. So I'm asking you here, in front of the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs--will you marry me?"

He lets out a deeply embarrassing, kind of choked laugh/sob, putting his hands over his mouth. Someone is definitely taking pictures, even though they didn't ask for them. They're a spectacle.

"Yeah," he says. "Obviously, yes, yes."

It's kind of a blur after that. Nate puts the ring on him, and they kiss, and they get a bunch of pictures on their phone, and some kind strangers send them the shots they got of the proposal, and just as suddenly it's over, the world moving on around them, leaving Monty feeling small and overwhelmed.

"I thought you were doing it in the cockpit."

"I didn't want to hear what jokes our friends would have made about that," he says, and Monty laughs again. He's still crying a little too, but it's cool. He got engaged; he's allowed. "Sorry, was that okay?"

He throws his arms around Nate, kisses him once and then just burrows in, close. "It was perfect, yeah. Best surprise ever."

Nate kisses his hair. "Cool. That's what I was going for."

*

Me: [image] I had to tell him to ask But he thought it was a good idea

Jasper: Whatever works, man Congrats Dibs on maid of honor I'm not letting Clarke snipe that

Me:Obviously It's all you It’s going to be great

[n0velust]

2007

When I received the message from a stranger on Myspace, I assumed I was being punk’d.

I heard you get sleep paralysis. So do I. Can we talk about it?

The account that sent the message supposedly belonged to a girl named Rose, but her profile was sketchy. She only had one friend. There were only two photos of her, good quality, not your basic selfies, although they weren’t professional either.

She was a blonde with bangs, her hair cut just above her shoulders. Her eyes were bright and the color of sea foam. There was an angelic quality to her. This was not the first time I had seen her face before, I was sure of that, but I couldn’t place where I reconized her from. It bothered me. Not that I believed the girl in the pictures was the one who actually sent me the message. Someone was messing with me. Someone who wanted me to reveal my weaknesses so they could use them against me.

I had only spoken of my sleep paralysis once in a public setting- a group counseling session all the way back in middle school. Sara, this redhead whom I had my eye on since the moment I first saw her, mentioned having it first in this session. We talked back and forth about it for a minute before our councilor called the meeting back into order. Sara had wanted to know more about my episodes. We met up one day, but she didn’t like that I believed sleep paralysis was a mere medical condition as opposed to a supernatural phenomenon. She committed suicide just a few months after that.

I knew better than to give this troll the time of day, but it was a lonely summer night. Besides, my curiosity had been piqued.

Cute pix but they ain’t urs, I wrote back. Maybe next time add more friends and write an About Me, so it doesn’t look like you just created the account two minutes ago.

              She replied in a matter of minutes. Aww you think I’m cute?? (: lol it’s a new profile. I can send you another pic if you want.

              Alright but draw a dick on your forehead so I know it’s really you, I typed back with a smug grin on my face. Checkmate. Since they wanted to act like a dickhead.

I got up and searched my dark room, my computer screen being my only source of light, for my bottle of vodka. I usually put it somewhere inconspicuous in case my cousin, Jessica, or Aunt Marilyn barged in on me. It’s neck was sticking out from under my pillow. I took several long gulps that warmed my stomach.

I didn’t expect a reply from that account but when I looked back to the screen, endorphins kicked in when I saw the one new message notification. No way. Bad Photoshop?

              A grainy picture probably taken a flip phone, but it was her. She held her hair back out of her face, on her forehead she dawned the crudely drawn penis. A goofy smile.

Can we talk now? she asked in a separate message. I’d like this to be interview style. Can I call you to save us both time?

              Out of pure boredom, I sent her my number. A few short seconds later, my phone rang. We got past awkward introductions.

              “You do look familiar,” I admitted. “Do you go to Apponequet?”

              “No, I go to Bishop Stang.”

              “A Catholic school girl, huh?”

“I have come into your job at Burger Daze, maybe that’s why you recognize me. That’s where I overheard some kids talking about you and the fact that you had sleep paralysis.”

              “Who?”

              “I didn’t ask them their names. I just eavesdropped on their conversation,” she giggled. “To be clear, I know who you are. Not just from seeing you at your job. You’re practically famous!”

              Famous people have fans, I didn’t even have friends. The main reason having to do with my local legend status in the small community of Freetown, Massachusetts. When you witness your father’s murder as a child, then go missing in the state forest for a week, and the media outlets paste your photo all over town, people rarely forget.

              “Maybe I’ll give you an autograph sometimes,” I replied dryly.

              “A piece of paper with your handwriting on it? That’d be great. I could use it to cast a love spell on you,” she said with a smile in her voice.

              “Look, is this supposed to be a joke or-“ My amusement was wearing thin.

              “No joke, Raiden. When I heard those people talking about you, I couldn’t believe it. I haven’t met another living person who’s had sleep paralysis. And for me it’s been especially bad lately so I took it as a sign that I must reach out to you.”

              “Well now you have, so what do you want?”

              “Tell me, do you hallucinate during?”

              “Most people do. Your body puts itself in a state of paralysis, so you don’t act out your dreams. The hallucinations occur because your mind is still in a dream state.”

              “Thanks for educating me on the subject as if I haven’t already extensively researched it myself. I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then?”

              “Yes.”

              “And what sorts of things do you see?”

              “People who suffer from sleep paralysis tend to see the same things, shadow people and such. Which makes sense because the room is dark and there are a lot of shadows.”

I was so used to only talking about this with therapists that I couldn’t help but parrot the things they told me.

              “What about the old hag though? Lots of people report seeing the detailed image of an old woman, usually wearing a veil, who sits on their chests. She’s not a shadow. Explain why that’s common sighting.”

I paced the room, thinking of an explanation but fell short.

              “Have you seen the old hag?” I reflected her question back.

              “I asked you what you saw first.”

              “Yes, it’s one of the worst apparitions. She starts off as a beautiful woman and then morphs. Total succubus situation, it’s awful.”

              “Sounds like the scene in The Shining. That part really freaked me out as a kid.”

              “I haven’t seen it.” Or any horror movie for that matter.

              “The original is better than the remake although Stephen King wouldn’t agree- anyway so, shadow people, the old hag, anything else?"

I hesitated, stumbling over my words. There was something else. Something Sara mentioned seeing too. Something that she claimed the more energy you gave to, the more powerful it got.

“I’ve seen something coming out of the wall. It’s like it comes from another dimension,” Rose went on, since I was at a loss for words. “It’s three dimensional too, not like a shadow. Unlike the other sleep paralysis villains, it can physically touch. It puts its hand over my head. Local indigenous tribes have something similar in their folklore, expect it comes out of trees instead of walls. They call it a Wuagamortchi. Have you ever seen it or heard of it?”

My throat ran dry, so I went back to my bottle and took another drink. There’s no way she could be messing with me. I’ve only spoken of this particular entity to Sara and one of my psychologists. Sara named this entity ‘Wally”. As a kid, I called it the Gatekeeper.

              “Yes,” I admitted. “I’ve seen it since I was a kid.”

“Can you describe your experiences?” Rose asked. Her voice was too cheery for the conversation we were having.

“No. I’d rather not. Sorry, I’m kind of freaking out right now. You’re not the first person to come into my life asking me about this shit. This girl I used to know, Sara, she saw the wog-thing, whatever you called it, too.”

“Really?” Rose asked enthusiastically. “Do you have Sara’s number? I’d love to talk to her too.”

“She committed suicide, about four years ago. I felt…guilty about it. You’re reminding me for her right now. That’s why my mind is a mess.”

“Why do you feel guilty?”

“Because she came to me for help so she would feel less alone. Her view on it was even darker than yours. She thought that actual demons were after her, that they wanted to make her hurt herself and other people. I dismissed her after she said all that, told her it was in her head. The ultimate betrayal, in her eyes, was when I told her boyfriend, James, that she needed help. She never spoke to me again. Her paranoia was what led her to take her life.”

“I mean, you reached out to her boyfriend about your concerns. It sounds to me like you did try to help her.”

I shook my head. “I could have done more for her. I could have been more empathetic.”

“I get it.” Finally her voice had some emotion behind it. Before she sounded like some robotic customer service representative. “My mother committed suicide and I feel like I should have done things differently too. The shrink I see says I shouldn’t blame myself but it’s hard not to.”  Rose let out a sigh and pulled herself back together. “How often do you experience SP?”

              It took me a moment to follow her train of thought. She dropped a bomb on me and then swept right passed it.

“A few times a week lately. I’ll go months without an episode, then it will become more frequent for a while. It has to do with stress,” I told her.

              “Have you found anything that helps to reduce episodes?”

              “Drinking.” I held my bottle up in a cheers to myself. I sat on my bed, leaning up against the wall with a pillow behind me.

              “Alcohol? Does that really help?”

              “No, not really. I wouldn’t recommend it. It helped at first but now it just makes me not care as much that it’s happening.”

              “Hmm. I smoke weed at night for the same reason.” She paused for a moment, “have you ever smoked before?”

              “Once.” With Sara. God, everything that came out of this girl’s mouth reminded me of Sara.

              We stayed up talking for hours after that, getting to know each other. Rose told me that she had recently found her mother’s diary, where she described her own instances of sleep paralysis. While Rose did believe it was paranormal and I didn’t, we came to the agreement that there was a link between sleep paralysis and mental health issues- depression, anxiety, PTSD. It all went hand in hand.

              I listened to Rose talk about her out of body experiences, how she had been training herself to detach her soul from her body during sleep paralysis and shoot energy balls as her interdimensional intruders. She told me about how her and her mother to share the same dreams and that she would astral project to the astral plane, hoping to find he mother there so she could say goodbye one last time. She said she wanted me to astral project with her, so we could be together, but I said I’d rather just take her out on a date. Her ramblings were nonsensical, yet she spoke them with such conviction that I wanted to believe.

              Rose said that since it was summer she had been waiting until sunrise to let herself sleep. We stayed up until then talking. When we finally did go to sleep we left our phones beside us on speaker, so if something did happen to one or both of us, the other person would be on the line. It was the first night in weeks I had slept without having a nightmare or an episode of sleep paralysis.

              We texted each other all that next day, then at night we spoke on the phone for hours on end. This went on for a few days. By the end of the first night, I was already hounding her about meeting up. she invited me to meet her at this house party she was attending on Friday night.

              Thanks to our late-night chats, not only was I sleeping better but I had also stopped drinking. I wanted to be coherent in our conversations. I wanted her to think that I was smart and funny, not some loser teenage alcoholic. But- before going to meet her at this party in Fall River, a half an hour drive away, I did have a little liquid courage to calm my nerves.

              When I pulled up to the house and parked along the street, she was out on the driveway waiting for me. She wore cut-off shorts and a black crop top, and a light jacket over it, despite it being the middle of July and eighty degrees outside. Over her shoulders, she wore a mini black backpack.

Despite her heavy make-up, she was still gorgeous. Even more so in person. Slim build but great legs. Her friend Genesis was starting next to her, holding her hand. Genesis taller than Rose but not my much. Her hair was clearly bleached blonde and fell in tight, corkscrew curls. She was dressed in a similar outfit. They were staring at my car and whispering among themselves. When I got out, Rose let out a squeal that I could hear from all the way over where I was standing.

Rose looked terrified, her eyes as wide as saucers. She had never even had a first kiss before and while I wanted to rush over and give that to her, what I wanted more was for her to feel comfortable.

              “Hi Raiden,” Genesis called on Rose’s behalf as I approached them.

              “That’s Genna,” Rose said, still clutching her friend’s hand. I could barely hear her.

              “I know. I recognize her as your only Myspace friend.”

              When I got up to them, it struck me how much I towered over them. A though occurred, what if she’s lying about her age? But I pushed it back to the far corners of my mind. Rose told me she was fifteen, sixteen on November 27th. My birthday was exactly a month after hers, I’d be turning eighteen. Our age difference wasn’t too bad. She had mentioned on the phone that she was petite.

              Genna pealed Rose’s hand off of hers and shoved her in my direction before turning her back and walking away. Rose watched her friend go before turning to me. I stood still like I was offering food to a timid deer. Where was the bold girl whom I had spoken to over the phone?

              Suddenly she was running towards me. She leapt up and I caught her in my arms. She wrapped her legs around my waist and initiated the first kiss. I let her have a little peck then tilted my head back farther. She groaned, her fingernails pricking the back of my neck. Our noses brushed before we kissed again. I melted into it. 

              I put her back down and we looked each other over.

              “I’ve never been to a house party before,” I said, to break the ice.

              “I don’t really like these types of parties,” she confessed.

              “Why are we here then?”

              “It just so happens that this party is only a couple blocks away from where a dear old friend of mine lives. I couldn’t miss the opportunity to pay him a visit.”

              Him? Confusion, jealousy, rage bubbled up in my chest.

              “You can come with me,” she clarified. “I want you to.” She batted her eyelashes at me and held her hand out for me to take but I wasn’t so sure I wanted to.

              “Who’s your friend?” I asked, looking down at her with narrowed eyes.

              “Andrew. You probably know him since you went to Freetown Lakeville Middle. Andrew Arslanian.”

I stared at her in disbelief. “Mr. Arslanian? The fucking science teacher?”

              She giggled at my surprise. “That’s the one. Part science teacher, part pervert. He stays busy.”

              “How do you know that? Did he hurt you? What are you going to do to him?” So many questions and finding the answers wouldn’t make me feel any better.

              “No. Not me,” Rose chuckled ironically. “This girl, Danielle. They had an affair. She was too young to know what she was getting into-“

Two girls stumbled out of the party, leaving the door wide open. The music was playing so loud that I could feel the bass in my bones.

Rose lowered her voice, “he knocked her up, then tried to throw money at her and threaten her into having an abortion until she moved away. Dani and I aren’t even friends anymore but that’s a whole ‘nother story. This was all long time ago.”

“Why wait til now to go after Mr. Arslanian? What are you going to do to him?”

“Chill. I’m not going to burn his house done or anything.” She took off her tiny backpack and unzipped it to allow me a peek inside. A single can of red spray paint and a wallet.

“And honestly, I haven’t thought of him in a long time but since I’m in the neighborhood…” She cocked her head and smiled at me, batting her eyelashes persuasively.

“How do you even know his address?”

“The internet.” She shrugged.

“I just-“ I didn’t want to come off like a buzzkill or an asshole. “I came all this way to hang out with you not to vandalize my eighth-grade teacher’s house.”

Her cheeks blushed. “I want to hang out with you too. This won’t take long, and you can pick what we do next.”

“I guess I’m in then,” I said with a scoff and an eyeroll.

She jumped for joy and let out a big, “Yesss!”

“But next time, tell me ahead of time when you have a crazy idea like this.”

“For sure I will.” She took my hands, intertwined her fingers in mine and started leading me down the sidewalk. “I’m so glad you agreed to join me because the Lucy I took should kick in soon an-“

I stopped dead in my tracks, bringing her to an abrupt halt as well. “What?!”

“Lucy. It’s slang for-“

“LSD,” I finished for her.

“It’s probably best that someone will be looking after me when it kicks in.”

I looked at her, then back to my car, and really contemplated leaving. Rose had told me about her experiences with various drugs, Xanax, coke, and of course weed. Genesis brought her into this world and Rose liked to experiment.

              “I saved a stamp for you.” She looked up at me with angel eyes.

              I knew a time would come when I’d be offered something questionable. Under different circumstances, I’d be more inclined to want to try LSD but not at a damn party. Not when we both have a history of mental illness. It seemed like an awful idea. I wasn’t about  to explain that to her because I didn’t want her thinking I was a loser.

              I liked her. A lot. There had other women, I was no virgin, but I had never had a serious relationship before. No one’s mind enticed me as much as Rose’s. I had never shared a connection like this with anybody. No one’s eyes had ever hypnotized me in such a way that my brain shut off entirely. I couldn’t blow this so soon, so I forced a smile over my haunted expression.

              “Let me give you some money for mine at least.”

              “No, it’s okay. Genna and her boyfriend TJ just gave them to me.” She fumbled in her purse and took out her wallet, out of her billfold, she handed me a stamp. Not the postage kind.

              “Don’t chew it or swallow it, just leave it on your tongue for a while.” She held out her finger with the tiny white square on top and I took it and did as instructed.

              “It’s my first time taking acid too so this should be interesting.” She giggled.

“How long ago did you take yours?” I asked, trying to judge how long I’d have until it set in.

“Right before you got here,” she replied. “TJ said it’d take about fifteen minutes to half an hour before I felt anything. He’s a total douche but at least he’s good for party favors.”

              We locked hands again. My hands were so much bigger than hers and she had to hold hers above her waist to align it with my own.

              “Why don’t you like TJ?”

              “He’s a pedo too. Dude’s twenty years old. He has no business hanging out with girls as young as me and Genna.”

              “Why don’t you tell your friend that?”

              “She knows how old he is. She doesn’t care. Just thinks he’s with her because she’s so mature. Trust me, if I told her what I really thought about him, she’d choose him over me. Love makes people stupid and blind.”

              I could see that now…

              “Girls get obsessed with these random ass guys that come into their lives. No depth or anything unique about them. That’s why I never bothered dating. I never met anyone who truly compelled me.” She squeezed my hand. “Until now.”

              “I must really like you because I can’t say no to you.” I grinned at her.

She lit up when I said that. There was no point in either of us trying to play it cool. No way she could have hidden that ear to ear smile. Under the streetlamps, I spotted freckles on her cheekbones, the bridge of her nose, underneath all that make-up. Such a shame that she covered them up.

              “Are you a natural blonde?” I asked.

              “Yeah but my natural color is a little darker than it is now.”

              I kept looking at her. Her familiarity drove me nuts, like when a word is on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t quite remember what it is. 

              “It’s weird that I have no memory of interacting with you when you were a customer at my work.”

              “You see a lot of customers come through there every day.”

              “Yeah but I remember the pretty ones. And I’d definitely remember your face. Especially since you said you come in there a lot.”

              “You were the main reason I was coming in there for a while. Just because I thought you were so handsome.” She laughed at herself. I could feel her hand shaking in mine. It was a little sweaty too.

              “Are you serious? That’s…slightly creepy but also flattering. Does that mean you have ulterior motives when you friended me on Myspace?”

“I saw that as my way in, yes. When I heard those kids talking about you having sleep paralysis, I took it as a sign that we were meant to get to know each other.”

“When you first invited me to this party, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to come. I’m really glad we’re hanging out, just you and me. Parties aren’t really my thing.”

              “Me either. I have social anxiety. I’m more comfortable with a small group of people. Or with just you.” She led us across the street, onto a different road.

              “You’re pretty social though. You’re more outgoing than me.”

              “It’s all an act, I’m actually pretty shy.”

              “You don’t seem very shy to me.”

              “Really. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt like something was wrong with me. Something that everyone else can see too. I became really withdrawn so obviously, it was always hard for me to make friends. But then I learned this thing from Dexter, have you seen that show? Or read the books?”

              “Dexter’s Laboratory?”

              “No!” Rose laughed. “Dexter the serial killer. He only kills bad guys. Anyway, he talks about having to wear this mask to blend in with the rest of society because duh he’s a killer and he works around a bunch of cops but I kind of took that concept and applied it to my own life. Did you know that Paris Hilton is actually smart? She just plays a character to mask her true self?”

“I have no idea,” I replied.

“That’s what I do. I play a character. I say and do crazy things because….people think of me as one thing and my true self hides behind that persona. I pretend my life is a realty show, and I do whatever I want. I know that all sounds weird. I’ve always been real with you though.”

              “I get where you’re coming from. Blend in with the normies so they don’t question you too much.”

              “Right because when you’re quiet, people can fill your silence with whatever they want.” Her words hung in the air, echoing on a loop in my mind.

She pulled her hand from mine and I worried she was suddenly upset with me. She took off her backpack and dropped it on the ground. I picked it up and held it for her.

“It’s so hot,” she said as she took her jacket off.

Before I could open my mouth to ask her why she was even wearing it, I saw the angry, red welts on the pale skin of her freckled bicep. Four of them at least, but there were more that looked faded.

              “What are those?” I asked, running my index finger over them raised scars.

              “Oh, right. That’s why I was wearing the jacket,” Rose said, more to herself than to me. She sighed as she shoved her arms back into it.

              “You don’t have to cover them up but what happened to you?” I pulled her jacket back off to get another look at them. “Are they cigarette burns? Who’s hurting you?”

              Rose chuckled at me. “It was just me, don’t worry.”

              “I am worried though. Why would you do that to yourself?”

              “I get overwhelmed sometimes, and it helps to ground me. Don’t judge.”

              “It’s not exactly a healthy coping mechanism.”

              “Neither is your drinking,” she shot back. Her eyes were narrowed but she wore a ‘gotcha’ smile. “You don’t want to be like my dad, unable to hold down a job. He tells us he quit, he’s gonna sober up, but he just tries to hide it. He never knows what’s going on, it’s really embarrassing.”  Her voice was louder and more emotional than usual.

              “You’re right. I know. What I do is another form of self-harm. I’ll make you a deal though, I stop drinking and you stop burring yourself, okay?”

              “What about a wager?” she asked with a grin. She pondered the terms of the wager for a moment. “Whoever loses has to give the other person oral sex.”

              Laughter boomed from my chest. “No, that’s fucked up. I don’t want to benefit from you hurting yourself. Besides, if we did that, I’d just go back to the party and have a drink.”

We shared a laugh at that.

“I rather just make it a pact,” I went on. “If you feel the urge, just reach out to me and talk to me about it – or your friend Genesis. And I’ll do the same, okay?” I extended my arm for a handshake.

              “Deal,” she said, taking my hand. I pulled her in for a hug, our lips found each other’s, and we kissed softly but hungrily. Euphoria pulsed through my veins. She pulled away too soon.

              “Let’s just this over with, before I start tripping.”

              She led the way through the neighborhood, knowing exactly where she was going. We walked at a quick pace until we came upon a two-story yellow painted home.

              3342 Snyder Lane.

              She took out the spray paint can and shook it, I worried about the noises. There was no car out front in the driveway but there was always a two-car garage, so it was hard to tell if anyone was home.

              Wind blew in through the trees overhead. Rose looked up at the swaying branches in awe. She waved back to them.

              “Rose! Hurry it up,” I urged her in a whisper.

              She looked to me, confused, and then down at the spray paint can in her hand. Dropping to her knees,�� she was mesmerized by the paint exiting the can. “I’m creating universes,” she told herself.

              She put her other hand into the stream of paint.

“Stop,” I said. “You don’t want to get caught red handed, do you?”

              She looked up at me and then down at her red palm, laughing at my pun. I took the spray can away from her and told her I’d do it.

              Ask me about Danielle, I wrote on the driveway in messy print. Underneath that, I added, I’m a pedo, to make our accusations clear. 

              I looked up for Rose and nearly had a heart attack when I saw her peeking in through the first story window. I ran up behind her but then froze.

              There was sheer, red, fabric over the window but we could still see what was going on in the house. People, maybe ten of them, all wearing plain black masks but with a red upside-down triangle drawn over the forehead. They were dancing around. In the center of their circle was a man tied to a chair. He was slouched over, still, eyes open and unblinking. They were taking turns stabbing his already dead body.

              “Get away from there,” I said, a little too loud. Because one of them stopped in their tracks and looked out through the window, right at us. This person’s sudden stop in rotation caused the others to bump into them.

              Without thinking, I picked Rose up and threw over my shoulder. I ran out of there like a bat out of hell. Her backpack clapped against her with every step. The adrenaline must have given me extra strength because I ran like that with her on my back for blocks and blocks, until, I couldn’t take it anymore. I set her on the ground, and we ran together hand in hand for what felt like an eternity. All I knew was the run. A running being was my identity. I couldn’t think of anything else. I can’t tell you how long we ran or how far we got. Rose led us and not in a straight direction, to confuse whoever might have been following us. We went through people’s backyards, up and over fences. Repeatedly.

              I could have kept going but Rose was out of breath and collapsed herself onto someone’s yard. She repeated, “I can’t do it anymore, I can’t do it.”

              “Did you see what I saw?” I asked, my hands rested on my knees as I gasped for air. When I closed my eyes, I saw geometric shapes breathing. Circles morphing into triangles, then into diamonds, then into hexagons.

              “They were killing him,” Rose said in a weak voice, burying her face in the grass.

              “He was already dead.”

My voice didn’t sound like my own. I felt like we were in virtual reality, like I was at home playing video games and none of this was even real. “They saw us. We need to keep moving.” I reached my hand down to help her up.

              “I can’t run anymore. I always knew if I was in a horror movie, that I wouldn’t survive the run. Go on without me. Save yourself.”

              “It’s my responsibility to protect you,” I replied. “You’re my girlfriend.”

I was just as surprised of those words coming out of my mouth as she was. She smiled and it was like everything was okay. For a second there, time stood still, and I felt perfectly sober. But then everything got wavy again.

              She allowed me to help her to her feet. “I’m your girlfriend?”

“Why else would I be going through all this shit for you? Now c’mon. We can walk but we have to move forward.”

              “I don’t know how to get home.”

              I looked around my surroundings, only now realizing that we were utterly lost. “You mean back to the party?”

              “Oh, right. I forgot about that stupid party.”

              “Did you want me to take you home? Because I would.”

              “No way. I couldn’t bear to see my mother right now.” I just looked at her. Her mother was dead, but it probably wasn’t the best moment to remind her of that.

              I tried to remember the route we took to get to where we were. If I could remember where Mr. Arslanian lived, maybe I could get us back to the party. What I needed was a weapon though, to make sure that we got back safely.

              The best I could find in the moment was a large stick. I picked it up and held it over my shoulder. “This way,” I told Rose, leading her in the direction that felt right.

              The threat might have been gone but my paranoia remained. All the houses looked the same. We were in an endless labyrinth. I tried to have a conversation with Rose while we walked, to add some normalcy to the evening. My mind would loop, and then I’d completely forget what I was thinking about. I’d forget what I was saying, midsentence. My words came out a mush. We didn’t see any people outside or even cars driving by and that had me feeling like I was in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Soon the zombies would come.

Things got weirder when I had the sudden sensation that I was actually my father and I was lost in the void between Earth and the afterlife. I was his ghost, trying to escape from some evil force that beckoned to me.  My breath hitched. I could feel my insides vibrating. Everything was vibrating. I sat down in the grass, hoping that the feeling would pass.

              “Are you okay?” Rose asked, the first time she had spoken in a while.

              “I’m going to a bad place.” I covered my face with my hands in shame.

              “You don’t have to,” she told me. “Genna warned me about bad trips. She told me that if you think bad thoughts, of course you’ll have a bad trip. But you can have a good time too, it’s all in how you approach it. You’re thinking too much,” she said. I couldn’t fathom how she could say so many words.

“Just lie back and enjoy the ride.”

What a concept. All my life, I’ve never been able to do just that.

It was a clear night and the stars were visible. For a moment it felt like I was the pilot of a spaceship. Then after staring at them for too long, they didn’t even look real anymore. A hologram. I broke the celestial trance and shifted my gaze over to her. The most beautiful being I had ever laid eyes on, she made this all worth it.

Feeling my stare Rose looked over at me, brushing her fingers over my face. “This is all worth it because we’re together.”

“I was just thinking that exact same thing,” I said, finally finding my words. “You read my mind.”

              She rolled over on her side and I did the same. We were almost nose to nose.

“Remember what I told you on the phone? If we practice reading each other’s minds, soon we'll be able to dream share.”

I thought of the game she taught me to play over the phone. One person clears their mind and closes their eyes, holding a picture of the other person in their mind. The other person focuses on sending a mental transmission, through a beam of light from their forehead, the other person. I wasn’t very good at the game.

“What am I thinking?” she asked. “The category is fruit.”

              I did as instructed and waited to receive her transmission. “Grapes,” I said as the image suddenly popped up in my mind.

              “What kind of grapes?”

              My eyes tried to flutter open, but I forced them shut. “Was I right? They’re green.” The picture was so clear, I could almost taste them. I looked at her for conformation.

              She nodded and smiled. “Yes, green grapes.. The acid must be helping us connect.”

“I’ll try to send one to you,” I said. “It’s a shape and a color.”

               We both laid back in the grass. I closed my eyes, held her in my mind. The light stemming from my forehead was so bright it was like I could really see it.

“Blue, a circle- no wait now it’s a triangle.” She opened her eyes and asked if she was right.

I nodded and told her to close her eyes again. “I’ll send you a number now.”

“Twenty-seven,” she said, in no time at all. “I can see it clear as day. And the numbers are in white bubble lettering with yellow polka-dots.” I was in awe, unable to speak. Good thing that I didn’t need to anymore.

“It’s the date of both or birthdays,” she went on.

“That’s why I was thinking of it. You also mentioned on the phone that you liked that number.”

“Wow,” Rose said. “I can’t believe we mastered teleportation.” We both laughed as she realized she said the wrong word.

“Telepathy,” I corrected. “I think we’d need a little more acid for teleportation.” 

               Music started playing out of nowhere. It was really creepy until we realized it was coming from Rose’s phone. I had completely forgotten we carried such devices.

              “Whoa, the screen is all over the place,” Rose said before answering.

 “I just wanted to check in,” I heard Genesis say. “Where are you guys?”

“We’re lost,” Rose replied.

There was a male’s voice in the background. Genesis had us walk to a street corner and tell her the names of the roads on the intersection we were on. It was hard to read the sign. The letter flew off and were carried away by the wind. After discussion with the other person she was with, Genesis told us to stay where we were and that she’d come find us.

I told Rose that it might be dangerous for Genesis to be walking the streets by herself. The masked ones who had engaged in the ritual could still be looking for us. Rose tried to tell Genesis about Mr. Arslanian and what we saw through his window, but Genesis just started laughing.

“You can tell it’s their first time tripping,” she said to someone else. “TJ’s coming with me. We’re on our way. Just sit tight,” Genesis told Rose before hanging up.

When we saw two figures approaching us, walking in the middle of the road, Rose jumped up and down with excitement. “They found us! We’re saved.”

She took off running towards her friend. I was shocked when both girls lifted up their shirts, revealing their bras underneath. They howled when they bumped their chests together.

Genesis’ boyfriend must have noticed my expression because he explained that was like their secret handshake. He introduced himself as TJ, while the girls were jumping all over each other. He looked like how I imagined he would, old as hell. He had long greasy hair, with a black cap over his head. A full beard, I must have looked like a child next to him. He wore a white t-shirt with holes in it and jeans that hung down below the waist. I didn’t like him. He instantly gave me bad vibes. I would have rather been lost with Rose forever.

As we walked back to the party, which apparently we were only a couple of blocks away from, the girls walked together ahead of us, chatting gleefully back and forth. Rose was telling Genesis that I was her boyfriend and Genesis was really excited about the whole thing.

TJ pulled me back to slow our pace, he grabbed my roughly. “You be good to our Rosie.” That instantly pissed me off. Rose was not his. “She’s a wild one. No experience but she’s ready to learn to fuck.” I was ready to kick this fucker’s ass.

“I coulda had her but she didn’t like the idea of a three-way relationship. She thought Genna would be mad at her but Genna said she woulda been cool with it.”

If Mr. A and his friends needed another sacrifice, I had just the guy for them.

“I never met two girls with such dirty minds,” he had the audacity to continue. “You’ll have fun wit her, I bet. But yo, if you’re gonna stick it to ‘er, don’t go ghost after tonight. That would make her sad. Which would make Genesis sad. Which would fuck wit my own life, ya feel me?”

“I don’t plan on ghosting her and I don’t plan on sleeping with her tonight either. I like her. I’m not trying to rush anything. I want to see where it goes.”

“Bro sex on acid is fucking magical. You should try it sometime. Are you having a good trip?”

“I’d be enjoying it more if I didn’t just see my old science teacher having a satanic ritual.”

He laughed at me, “You’re funny, man.”

 We could hear the music from down the street and started to run towards it, grateful to be freed from the maze. Back at the party, my mood did a three-sixty. Genesis and TJ shared a joint with us, which put me on another level for sure, but the euphoria was back. Genesis kept taking pictures. Rose and I even danced. Our bodies moving to the music without having to think twice about it. After working up a sweat, we went to the refreshment table and drank some water.

              “They’re so many of them! They’re multiplying,” Rose said, mesmerized by a tray of cupcakes. “Why’s no one eating them? I don’t want to be the only one who eats one. What’s wrong with these people?”

I encouraged her to just take one and she looked at me, her eyes mischievous.

              “I have a better idea,” she grinned. “Carry the tray upstairs for me, I’m scared I’d drop it.”

              “What do you want to do with them?” I asked.

              “We could put the frosting on each other’s bodies and lick it off.” She didn’t have to tell me twice, I grabbed the tray and we headed to the second floor.

[pigeonacademic]

pipermccloud So far, i've made other alien species for the gems to interact with; some they've fought, some they're neutral with, others they've aided (or been aided by) and some they've opened trade with

thegemnants that's cool! i think it's really neat for the gems to actually be involved in intergalatic affairs with other species. considering how much of the universe they must've combed through, it would make sense for them to have at least met ONE species as powerful as them.

pipermccloud Yep! Could also be a reason why they need a lot of planets and why they had to quickly churn out half-baked gems for the war

pipermccloud Because resources were low by fighting an even bigger war

thegemnants in my fic, red diamond once commit genocide against an entire species which the gems were allied with, and because of that, the gems were ex communicated from the Union... which is one of the reasons why red diamond is so awful and yeah, if there were other aliens, it would make sense why the gems need more resources

pipermccloud The Union? I haven't heard much of REd Diamond Are you going to make a post on it? I need to go downstairs to check on my sisters real quick

thegemnants The Union is just a generic term I'm using to refer to the alignment between the other aliens :P and i do think you've seen red diamond, i'm probably going to draw some more intimidating pix of her

pipermccloud ! ^-^ I've seen her before, and she does look like she'll crush you if you so much aas look at her funny

thegemnants yep! because she did that horrible atrocity to the alien species, gemkinds reputation tarnished. but it doesn't end there, because red diamond was also exiled from the gempire as a whole. not just because she commit that genocide, but because of how she did it-- forcing fusion with the other 4 Diamonds.

pipermccloud BIG YIPES

thegemnants So, Red Diamond was cast out, and took her Court with her, vanishing to create her own empire. And she was gone for millions of years before returning, stronger than ever. There's more to it than that, but yeeeeah, that's red diamond's story :'D

pipermccloud DAMN SHE'S HORRIFYING Suggested nickname for her: The Red Death

thegemnants absolutely! :D Sometimes I wanna call her Blood Diamond, which is an actual term! but, you knooooow gems dont have blood :'D

pipermccloud Pfffft! True So, how is her empire like? I bet she was real rough on them now that she was on her ow n

thegemnants it's a dystopian hellscape where gems are shattered for showing the slightest bit of disrespect or noncomfority. yellow wishes she had the heart to be this intense. the only gems free from red diamond's wrath are her pearl and her zirconia, because they've been so brainwashed that they would never even THINK of doing something that would upset their diamond.

pipermccloud sent a GIF

holy cow- So, she's a dictator basically, a warmonger?

thegemnants HellllLLLL YEAH!

thegemnants and the thing is, she and her court live entirely on ships she leaves nothing left of the planets she harvests Gems from

pipermccloud OOH o-o She makes them go ka-boom. Out of not wanting to leave a trace, leave any resources for the others or just because of sadism?

thegemnants mostly just wanting to be undetectable now, what if i told you, that in my fic, there's someone worse than red diamond :'D

pipermccloud Okay, how can anyone other than Space Satan herself be more terrifying- I'm curious how o_o

thegemnants So, you may be wondering this, not just in fic sense but just in SU canon general.

thegemnants Where did the Diamonds come from? Well, a long time ago, a burst of magic born of the gap between universe brought life to a planet of carbon. Not of carbon-based minerals or carbon-based organisms, but purely of the element Carbon. "I want friends, I want friends," she cried, this living Carbon.

pipermccloud O-O

thegemnants So, from her body, she created 5 children: the Diamonds. Red, Pink, Blue, Yellow, and White. "But it's not enough" So, after a while, Carbon sent her children out to make "more friends" Thus, the first Gem Colony was created "But it's not enough, it will never be enough"

thegemnants So, the Diamonds continued to spread out, taking planet after planet, creating Gem after Gem

pipermccloud O_O

thegemnants However, after a supernova, the Diamonds were seperated from Carbon. Even though she no longer had her grasp on them, the Diamonds were still terrified of what would happen if they didn't please her. So they kept grabbing planets and making Gems.

pipermccloud holy cow

thegemnants But then, guess what? When Red Diamond was banished, she went to the other side of the universe

pipermccloud what

thegemnants AND GUESS WHO SHE FOUND AND BROUGHT BACK TO HOMEWORLD

pipermccloud CARBON

thegemnants AND GUESS WHAT CARBON DID WHEN SHE GOT TO HOMEWORLD TO PUNISH THE CHILDREN WHO WERE SO CRUEL TO HER SISTER AND SO RUDE TO HAVE NEVER LOOKED FOR HER

thegemnants SHE TOOK A BIG BITE OUT OF IT AND ABSORBED BILLIONS OF GEMS INTO HER BODY and when i say absorbed, i mean they are digesting forever inside of her while being completely concious and part of a hivemind so yeah, carbon is the "final boss" of the fic

pipermccloud I cannot find a gif for the life of me to express how horrific that is So, Cluster but over 90000 holy shit

thegemnants Yep! And that's the entire reason why Yellow wants the Cluster. What better to take out a planet-sized monster than a planet-sized monster?

thegemnants It probably would've only served as a distraction, though.

pipermccloud How many gems know of Carbon's existence? For the newer ones, is she regarded as a myth?

pipermccloud Also, what does Carbon look like?

thegemnants oooh, carbon being a scary myth that agates used to scare new recruits is actually a really good idea!

pipermccloud :D

thegemnants originally i was gonna go with a 'just diamonds know', but very, VERY old gems probably know, too and carbon is like a giant, black planet, slightly larger than earth, with a face a fucked-up nightmare face and she reflects no light have you heard of hellstar remina? that's what i'm envisioning carbon to look like, but all dark and stuff

pipermccloud I haven't actually, but holy-cow, imagine her eclipsing Homeworld..a dark shadow falls across the gempire, and wait-does it have TEETH AND EYES-

heres a picture of remina from hellstar remina basically something like this mixed with the face of an elderly woman

pipermccloud !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pipermccloud sent a GIF

You got an eye for nightmare fuel

thegemnants awww thank you ;w;

pipermccloud She's VERY terrifying, both in personality AND appearance Red Diamond is practically Mother Thersa compared to her, isn't she?

thegemnants pretty much! :'D even red is terrified of her at first red wanted to pull a "mommy, my siblings were mean to me! aren't you going to punish them?" but when carbon took that nice, juicy bite out of homeworld she immediately went to "WTF MOM THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT!"

pipermccloud Classic mom, always misunderstanding and doing things her own way-

pipermccloud Is it likely she'll take a bite out of her own kids too?

thegemnants they'd have to do something reeeeeally bad for that to happen, so while possible, not likely not that it's much of a solace, considering she'll still breath down your neck and cause constant anxiety with her moon-sized eyes staring down at you

pipermccloud eugg I feel so sorry for all the Diamonds even Red And this also just gave me an idea for art! How many Diamonds did Carbon have again-

thegemnants 5, but she could probably make more if she wanted. she just chooses not to :D

pipermccloud "Okay, five's enough for me, this bunch is getting out of hand."

thegemnants not to mention, since she literally turns parts of her body into the diamonds, it would probably hurt a lot huhuhu

pipermccloud Ooh, planet-version of labor pain I'm going out on a limb here and guessing she likes Red better than the others? thegemnants Well, in her eyes, Red DID come and find her, even if it wasn't actually intended. So, she probably liked Red the best. Speaking of RD's dystopian style gempire, how much does it differ from Homeworld?

thegemnants i guess it's just really... tight. homeworld as we see it in the show seems pretty bland and generic as far as alien empires go, but in my fic, i want it to be like a mirror of earth where some things are similar but the things that are different are so vastly different that its hard to wrap your head around it. (not saying that my version is better, im just not a fan of the way this show is handling its mythology)

thegemnants Whereas Red Diamond is just a complete warrior culture where none of the members have any free time at all (except for RD's Pearl and Zirconia)They're always training, training, training, working, working, working. Ship builders and engineers and mechanics have to be constantly on their toes, since the Court lives solely on ships Soldiers have to be constantly sparring one another until exhaustion cycles into movation Sapphires have to novelize any and all visions Mages have to work on spells, Tourmalines have to work on maps, Agates have to constantly supervise, etc etc etc There is literally no room for anything else

Architect wise, how do the ships look inside and out?

thegemnants big enough to be cities, but inside, it's mostly just angular and grey monotonousness. but the gems in RD's court are just so used to it that they can tell the slightest differences in these highly-similar locations to find their way around and yes, shattering always is a fear sans those higher-up, who are the only ones allowed to show any sign of slack Do they have a uniform or is it a variety, as long as it allows them to function?

thegemnants it's all uniform per gem race, although, i suppose somewhat thankfully, red diamond does like to get fancy with it thegemnants I feel like she'd prefer to stay sedentary unless she has a reason to move. Although I also think she has a room where she goes when she's upset where she just fucking beats up statues to get her stress out.  @ufolotus

[sfpcschool]

Interview with Computing and Stories Summit presenters

SFPC is hosting the first Computing and Stories Summit on June 1st, 2017. Here's an interview with the organizers and presenters: Amy Wibowo, Jie Qi, Jenna Register, Natalie Freed, Linda Liukas and Taeyoon Choi.

Tell us a little about yourself, how did your interest in computing begin?

Jenna: Little was it known to me that I have been a computer programmer since a very young age. I fell in love with problems like the Towers of Hanoi, Mastermind, and logic puzzles. I found my way into “hacking” my computer games to cheat in some outrageous ways. I even read an entire book on recursion and math… without ever knowing what Computer Science was. When I was required to take my first CS course in college as part of my Brain and Cognitive Sciences degree, I fell in love. I switched everything that I was doing just so I could code. Just so I could finally feel understood by myself. For me, programming is the source of my spirituality. I understand myself through my code!

Taeyoon: As a kid, I was fascinated by computers. I think the first computer I encountered was Macintosh Plus. It had a chatbot that I could interact with. The conversation itself was limited but I liked the idea that I could engage with a computer intimately. I was really into the Internet community as a youth, connecting people over distance. I learned to use digital production tools (mostly photo and video editing) in an art school. I often felt limited by the commercial production tools, I felt like my expression was constrained in the filters and features of the tools. In the mid 2000s, I learned about hackers and new media artists working with software and hardware in playful ways. During my residency at Eyebeam in 2008, I met many friends (Zach Lieberman who I continue to work with on SFPC, the openFrameworks community, Hannah Perner-Wilson, Dan Torop, Geraldine Juárez and more) and their practice demonstrated that I can take liberty to use computers and electronics for creative expression.

Shift Register by Taeyoon Choi, photo courtesy of the artist

Linda: My dad brought home a computer in early 90s and told us there’s nothing we can do with the computer that can’t be reversed. As a result, me and my siblings had a very curious and fearless attitude towards computers and computing - and probably also managed to remove the operating system and dad’s important work files a few times.. I never thought my career would be in technology, but now in hindsight working with education & computing connect all the dots for me.

Natalie: When I was a kid my dad brought home a couple of old Macintoshes for us to play with. My siblings and I spent hours upon hours drawing in Kid Pix. I still love that program, and its great origin story! I also used my computer to make maps and write short stories. I had no clue what computer programming was until my dad, a programmer himself, encouraged me to take a C++ class in high school. I was very unhappy in that class - it was mostly boys and as a shy kid who liked to blend in, I felt out of place. I also wasn’t super interested in the class project of making a computer game. Fortunately I gave programming another shot in college and fell in love, ending up majoring in computer science. It’s magical that you can create things with words and with the logic of language! And the kinds of abstraction you can play with make my brain really happy. Now I teach programming, and also use it as a creative tool to explore concepts and to build tools for making other things.

Stab Bound Books, by Natalie Freed. Photo courtesy of the artist

Amy: As a kid, I loved drawing in MS paint, creating 3D worlds in Corel 3D, making games in Visual Basic, and making Sailor Moon fan websites in HTML in Notepad. I loved making stuff outside of the computer as well (painting, cross stitch, embroidery), so computers and programming to me seemed like just another way to express my creativity.

Jie: I took my first programming course in high school (AP computer science) and did so poorly I ended up dropping the course halfway and thought that programming is *definitely* not for me (other people in the course seemed to glide through and were winning state competitions!). However, in college, I did an internship with Ayah Bdeir and got into electronics and another internship with Leah Buechley and discovered that code could be combined with arts and crafts to bring artworks to life. That’s when I finally “got it” and fell in love with the magical things I could make with programming and electronics.

Picture from Jie Qi’s project “Electronic Popables”, photo courtesy of Jie Qi

What are the creative challenges you are currently encountering in your practice?

Taeyoon: I find it important to connect my work with the history of art, and technology often gets in the way. I find it a challenge to make art that’s timeless as well as current and relevant. There’s often lots of excitement about what is ‘new’ in technology. For example, recently there’s a lot of excitement about A.I. and VR. A few years ago, there was a lot of excitement about 3D printing. And some time ago, there was a lot of excitement about interactivity. But there’s a sense of futility in these short-lived excitement. When I see people wearing VR headsets, I often think of Kasier Panorama. Kaiser panorama is a mechanical contraption where you look into the viewfinder to see a moving diorama, a miniature of Paris or Berlin. It was popular around the turn of the 19th century, lost popularity over the years and then came back to popularity for a brief period right before silent film became mainstream. In a sense, the ‘new’ technologies tend to repeat the excitement and exhaustion, like Kasier Panorama. For me, technology is both the medium and subject of my art.

Jenna: In order to be creative in my research field, I need to have the hard skills. I can dream up Turing Complete systems for monkeys to use, or functional programming languages that model the human mind… but I need to be able to successfully (and mathematically) write my models. Additionally, I am finding it harder and harder to communicate the work that I do to outside ears. I love sharing the basics of my work, but when it comes to explaining my current interests in a concise way, it requires A LOT of creativity to explain the abstraction.

Data Structures: STACKS, video by Jenna Register

Linda: I think kids are the most efficient learners of all times and it requires a lot of honesty to write and illustrate for them. I don’t want to make things cartoonish or use narratives that they will feel dishonest later in life. At the same time I think it’s important to shield a bit of the complexities to make subjects approachable.

Natalie: I’ve always admired and enjoyed spending time around artists, but didn’t think of myself as one. I’ve recently been realizing that for some of my projects, it would be incredibly useful to learn more about how artists evaluate their own work and think about their process. It feels like there are lenses through which to look at making that are not in my current toolkit. This is actually an exciting realization because I like that feeling of disorientation when you’re learning about something really new to you. One example is that I’m used to a prototyping process that is *relatively* linear and predictable, not one that involves throwing out 90% of what I try! And as a teacher and maker I value process a lot, but I’m not used to thinking that it’s allowed to be integral to the final piece.

Video of “Telescrapbook”, by Jie Qi and Natalie Freed

Jie: The most challenging for me is simply finding the time to explore far far outside of my domain. Lately I’ve been working a lot on toolkits and teaching and explaining-- which is fun and satisfying. But I’m also excited to explore and push my own technical and creative boundaries as well, and miss this different kind of joy. So perhaps giving myself permission and time to really play is my biggest creative challenge right now.

Amy: It's a fun and exciting creative challenge to explain concepts like machine learning, compilers, and operating systems in a way that middle schoolers will find interesting and accessible, in a way that's not condescending or dumbed down. Also, how to build a company that does social good and is ethical, in a monetarily sustainable way.

Why is it important to make computer science and engineering a more welcoming and diverse field?

Taeyoon: The mainstream culture of computer science and engineering is exclusionary. There’s a stereotypes of (typically white men) leaders in the field. In fact, it’s not true. Traditionally, women and queer engineers have pioneered many important aspects of computing and technology. Also, the real workforce and academics who are developing computing, are not homogenous. I think a lot about ways of revealing the complexities of the cultural bias around technology. If we can create counter-narrative to the mainstream image (of white or male – artists / engineers / entrepreneurs) , we can help shape a culture around technology that’s less biased and unfair, ultimately more inclusive for people who are not represented as leaders in the field.

Jenna: I recently returned from a conference where there were 300 women out of 8000 attendees. That is 3.75% female (unsure about Trans individuals). The conference was for GPUs, so very close to hardware (less women the closer to the hardware you get!). But it was a shocking experience. But besides an obvious inequality like this, here is my answer: Problem Solving is Empowering. I find that learning to think logically, and gaining the independent thinking that comes along with programming is empowering. And I want to help those who feel disempowered to find their strengths through STEM.

Excerpt from “How Do Calculators Even” by Amy Wibowo

Linda: I’m writing the book series thinking of what would have made me excited about computing as a kid. A lot of the materials out there today lack this empathy - and that’s why it’s important to have more diversity in the educational field, also going forward.

Natalie: Based on my own experience, my students’ experiences, and my research, I am convinced that many people who would really enjoy computer science miss out on the chance to learn about it. They might get initially turned off by an unwelcoming experience, only get exposure to a narrow application of it that doesn’t match their interests, or leave because of a toxic learning or work environment. I’ve found so much joy and empowerment in this field, and I deeply believe others should have that opportunity as well. Also, technological change has an enormous impact on society. We need all kinds of people deciding what direction that takes.

Art and Algorithms exercise from Linda Liukas’ “Hello Ruby”, photo courtesy of the artist

Jie: Computer science and engineering are such powerful levers to impact and (hopefully!) improve the world. However, change is rarely about just the technology but rather needs a whole community around it to make sure that the technology itself makes sense and is accessible. Unless we bring more diverse perspectives into the field, people who feel welcome and empathize with problems and see solutions that actually work for *their* community -- ones that the current tech community does not sense-- we cannot see the full extent of how much positive change we can create.

Who are your role model? Tell us about people you look up and feel constantly inspired by?

Linda: I love Sophia Coppola, Tove Jansson and Björk, artists with a strong inner world that they’ve projected consistently, but creatively throughout the years.

Taeyoon: I look up to people who take their work seriously and take on a very long term projects. Recently, I invited Barbara London, who was a curator at MoMA for decades, bringing new media art, video art and sound art, into the museum. Her persistence was admirable. I also think about artists and activists who embed themselves in communities and institutions. There are many, I can’t think of one person right now.

Barbara London, photo courtesy of the Grolsch ArtBoom Festival

Jie: There are so many. But for the most part, I really admire who are both amazing through what they do and maintain a kindness, humility and generosity that invites everyone in. To name a few, Ayah Bdeir (founder and CEO of littleBits) is my entrepreneur role model-- for growing something from bits in a shoebox to an entire movement, fueled by her unique faith and energy. Leah Buechley and Edith Ackermann are my research role models and taught me how to contribute academic research without getting caught up in the machinery. Andrew “bunnie” Huang who has taught me so much about navigating freedom. Finally Sally Rosenthal who has a magical knack for making things happen with firmness, warmth and empathy.

Natalie: So many it’s hard to begin, but Edith Ackermann comes strongly to mind. She was incredibly rigorous about studying play without ever losing her own sense of humor, play, and mischief. She could see the “soul” of your project and would tell you about it, bluntly but somehow in the most warm and inspiring way imaginable. Also, my mom read us Claude Ponti books growing up and his surreal, detailed worlds full of imagined creatures have stuck with me.

“Imagination” from Linda Liukas’ “Hello Ruby”

Jenna: Quite frankly (nobody make fun of me!): All of you! I am so thrilled to get to meet you all. I have not yet come across others who want to inspire through art, technology, fun, and childlike wonder. I couldn’t be happier.

Amy: Simone Giertz is my hero for bringing a sense of fun and play to technology, and for emphasizing that it's ok to build things that are useless. Also, just like Jenna said, all of you! I’m honored to be with so many people whose work I admire!

Data Structures: Hash Tables, video by Jenna Register

What was the last project (art, comic, technology or whatever) you saw that blew your mind?

Taeyoon: I went to the Frieze Art Fair in NYC and saw some great things. I really liked slow moving sculptures by Robert Breer and Andreas Angelidakis’s video art ‘Domesticated Mountain’. I also read a story by a South Korean novelist Han Kang, which I thought was very moving. I’ve been reading Beasts of Burden by Sunaura Taylor, which is an incredible book about disability and animal rights.

Jie: There’s a short story by Nathaniel Hawthorne called “The Artist of the Beautiful” about a young watchmaker that makes magical machines in his workshop. The (very emotional) creative process really resonated with me.

Natalie: At the last Autodesk Pier 9 showcase, I ran across Neil Mendoza’s “Fish Hammer Actuation Device.” A camera over a fish tank tracked a goldfish’s movements, which were then transmitted to a hammer moving on a circular track. When the goldfish stayed in the same place for long enough, the hammer would come down and, depending on its position, might smash a tiny piece of furniture placed in its path. I was so delighted by this piece. Something about how completely oblivious the fish was to the destruction it was causing!

Linda: I’m reading Robert Irwin’s Seeing is Forgetting the Name of the Thing One Sees and it's helped me understand and navigate a good part of this year.

“Hello Ruby” Skidit Festarit, photo by Otso Kaijaluoto

Jenna: My very best friend is working on a comic to help herself and others overcome their PTSD. The comic is a superhero world, where your “inner demons” manifest in the outside world. We illustrate people as superheroes fighting off demons like Insecurity, Depression, etc. We hope to make illustrations for people who are working through healing, to remind Survivors that they are, in fact, Warriors.

Amy: When the SFMOMA reopened recently, I was blown away by a wall mural designed by Sol Lewitt. As a conceptual artist, he didn’t paint the mural but instead, contributed instructions for how to paint it, which were written in a way that reminded me of Logo Turtle programming. Algorithms as art!

Electrocutie Hardware Kit by Amy Wibowo

* We are thankful to our sponsors including SFPC, Hello Ruby, The Frank-Ratchye STUDIO for Creative Inquiry, Paul Ford and Processing Foundation. We are actively looking for sponsors. Please contact taeyoon@sfpc.io if you are interested in supporting this event. 

[pixxyofice]

TIME FOR A SUPER DETAILED THING FOR ASAGAO!PIX BECAUSE I’M A TRASH BAG FOR THIS GAME NOW

Name: Pixie Annie Kohler Nickname: Pix Meaning of name: ...Pixxy. a Pixie, like those things that fly around magically? whee? Origin of name: Well I was trying to name my tumblr something and decided to go with “pixxyofflames” as in, a rewriting of Vulpix... Age: 16 Gender: Female Sexual Orientation: Asexual Biromantic Current status: ...Available and Alive? Birth date: 02/16/01 Current residence: Asagao Academy Occupation: Student Hobbies/Pastimes: Playing Games, Writing Stories, Drawing Cats/Humans/OCs Talents/Skills/Powers: Singing, Acting, Dancing Past History Most important childhood event that still affects him/her: Her first bullying event Why/How? SHE BECAME A SOCIAL OUTCAST AND WOULD CRY AT A LOT OF THINGS Backstory: Coming from a relatively well off middle-class family, she went to public schools for most of her life. As a third grader, however, a mix of a habit she used to have and the fact that she would cry easily led her to being shunned by most people and thrown out of a lot of friend groups. She turned to video games and attached herself to that, though due to this she was still emotional and was still made fun of. This lasted until her last year of middle school, where she begged her parents to go to someplace better.

They chose asagao academy, and Pix went there for her first year. Physical Characteristics Height: 5′1 Posture: Slightly slumped, kind of messy. Build: smol and skinny Skin: pretty pale white. Hair: reaches about halfway down her shoulders in length, mostly purple until the top, which is black. Ears: rounded, pierced Eyes: slightly lidded, green Face shape: slightly chubby, pointed chin Expressions: Tend to be neutral-frown, not exaggerated much when expressing others. Describe their smile: Sides of her mouth slightly go up, and she slightly shows her teeth. She tends to press her tongue against her teeth, too. Left/Right handed? Right-handed Distinguishing features: She has a lot of freckles Who does s/he take after; mother or father? She takes more after her dear dad. She has his hair color and general short gene... Style (Elegant, shabby, etc): A little shabby, though she tries her best to wear at least somewhat nice How does s/he dress or what do they typically wear? Wears a t-shirt and some sweats when on weekends, and during the weekdays she wears the asagao uniform, only with shorts instead of skirts. Other outfits one might find in their wardrobe: A few dresses, lots of graphic tees, lots of designs on t-shirts Jewelry: A few earrings, a necklace with a black and orange gem at the bottom. Characteristics

Do they curse, and if so, to what extent? She tends to curse... quite a bit around pals. This stemmed from middle school. She also swears around non-pals, but not as much. Write a piece of dialogue that this character might say (can be between someone else): “I really love this game. I mean, it’s just a few creatures fighting each other, but the creatures are so fucking adorable, especially this one. I fucking love this one.” Voice: in the words of a pal: Kawaii voice. soft and cute... Describe their sleep patterns (light/heavy sleeper, no sleep, sleeps too often, etc): She sleeps a bit heavy, as long as she does fall asleep. On the weekends she sleeps a LOT during the day and wakes up at like. 2 in the evening. oops.

Psychological/Personality Attributes and Attitudes Character's long-term goals/desires in life: She wants to become a writer of some sort! She’s already got an idea for the first book! She just needs to plot it out... and write it... Character's short-term goals/desires in life: Get through high school, get friendos, look c Secret desires: To be able to draw like Shane does. How self-confident is the character? NOT VERY!! SHE HAS THE WOR ST SELF IMAGE!!! How do they see him/herself? Chubby. Weak. Emotional. Crybaby. Too small. How do they believe s/he is perceived by others? A bit annoying. Laughs too much. later on this changes to something like ‘a weird friend, laughs a lot, loves to be creative’ What is the character most proud of? HER WRITING SKILLS What does the character like least about themselves? Her past, and her slight chubbiness in her stomach. How do they express themselves? Her drawing and her writing. Is this character generally dominant or submissive? Submissive. Patience level: Very high. Doesn’t snap often. Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? A combination thereof. Wants to be mostly logical but tends to be a bit emotional Most at ease when: Cuddled under blankets, playing games Ill at ease when: In a loud room Describe their sense of humor: a combination of puns, memes, and actual fucking jokes. Mostly puns though. If they could be described with one of the seven virtues, which would it be? Justice If they could be described with one of the seven sins, which would it be? Sloth Optimist or Pessimist: Introvert or extrovert: Introvert Greatest Fear: Everyone’s going to abandon her and she’s going to die Character's darkest/deepest secret: She believes she doesn’t deserve kindness from the nb table. Doesn’t even know this herself. Minor Secrets: She’s a middle class kid, her full name, she’s a furry, Favorite...

Color: Pink Clothing: Anything with Nokemon on them Place: Her room Food/drinks: Macaroni and Cheese, Strawberry milk Music genre: whatever videogame music counts as Subject in school: Chemistry Animal: Cats Least Favorite... Clothing: anything really itchy Place: her elementary school Food: VEGGIES Music genre: heavy metal. hurts her ears. Subject in school: MATH Where does this character like to hang out? In her room Where is this character's dream place to live? Someplace in a forest, near a town she can drive to, where almost nobody bothers her except for friends she invites.

Relationships with Others (Non-Married) Relationship Skills: None ATM due to NOT BEING IN A RELATIONSHIPS Lusts: N/A Crushes: @ asagao!jirard Girlfriend/Boyfriend(s): N/A Other lover(s): N/A First crush: Indigo from Blazing Symbol: Awakening Did it last? .... Why or why not? HE’S FICTIONAL, HELEN Best Friends: Asagao!Alto Friends: Hana, Shane, Jirard, PBG, Susan, Chorus Club, some of Theater Club, Paul, Satch, Jimmy, Luke, Ian Hates: Mimi Dislikes: Jon, Shane Rivals: Jimmy, Luke, Ian Pets: back at home: Orion, Pandora (German Shepherd/Husky mixes) at school: Flame (Ginger tabby) What kind of person would s/he consider to be the perfect partner? Someone who is kind and won’t judge her for her habits. Someone she can be cute with. Someone she’ll be serious with.

What If If this character were an animal, what would they be? A (Black) Cat. Why? BOI SHE LOVES CATS If this character were the opposite sex what would they . . . Do? Around the same things. He’s still Pix, even if a male. Say? A lot less things, maybe a bit less sweary. Feel? A LOT MORE BULLIED AND LESS CONFIDENT BECAUSE OF BEING ‘LIKE A GIRL’ What would/does this character do if confronted with someone identical in personality? She would like them, if a bit annoyed by the self-image thing. She likes people similar to her!

How the Character is Involved in the Story Character's role in the story (main character? hero? Villain? etc): If asagao academy was unaltered, she would just be a side character that hana bumps into while they’re on their way to class, but if it WERE to be altered slightly, alto and pix show up at the NB table soon after Hana and Mai join, and Hana and Pix become somewhat friends. Scene where character first appears: (going with slightly altered) Alto slams her hands down on the table and slides into a chair she brought over. Pix is spotted scooting a chair up, but not talking as much as alto is. Relationships with other characters: Friendly! ESPECIALLY with jirard, her crush... Where, how and when did s/he first interact with other characters: She was pulled into the drama club by alto before they became friends, and met Jon as that WEIRD AF PRODUCER OF THE SHOW and because sorta friends with him. Sorta. Background Story: Explained in Backstory. Additional Notes on This Character: In super!au, she’s a shapeshifter that shapeshifted a panther and lost control over her form, causing fear in her family and causing her to feel even more isolated before she was shipped to Asagao.

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New Post has been published on https://webpostingpro.com/life-in-war-torn-syria-bomb-blasts-and-no-utilities-but-coffins-are-free/

Life in war-torn Syria: Bomb blasts and no utilities, but coffins are free

For greater than six years, Syria has been hacked apart via struggle. A few warring parties combat for freedom, A few for jihad, A few for the Damascus regime. But whatever the motivation, the upshot is apparently countless bombing, chemical guns attacks, suicide explosions, hunger, sieges, and displacement. So what is day by day lifestyles certainly like for civilians caught in the crossfire?hydrogen bomb

One working example is the province of Idlib

Near the Turkish border. The region galvanized global interest final week after chemical bombs were unleashed on the provincial town of Khan Sheikhoun, claiming the lives of almost one hundred youngsters and adults and wounding hundreds greater.

“There’s meals and A few offerings here, However people are fleeing to other locations,” prominent Syrian journalist Hadi Al Abdullah – who navigates one struggle region to the subsequent – instructed Fox Information.

Even as there are non-governmental agencies (NGOs) on the floor administering A few food and useful resource for those left without homes, there are not any open cafes and a mere spattering of shared turbines for electricity.

“We attempt to just adapt,” Abdullah continued. “We draw water from the earth, we get Some net from Turkey.”

Matters aren’t a lot one of a kind an hour-and-a-half of pressure away, inside the northwest Idlib village of Aqaba. Essa Essa, a 27-yr-antique NGO discipline projects officer, stated that despite the fact that his location is safer than maximum, There is no manner to avoid the killing.

“All the time, you may be scared of a plane and you don’t understand when one will strike. you may be afraid whilst your kids go to play or after they go to the high school that they ain’t come home. You may no longer be secure in your house, maybe the regime bombed your own home,” he defined. “You already know that perhaps You may die when you stroll down the street or visit pray in a mosque. You wonder if You may die while you try to shop for something for your youngsters to devour, or your toddlers won’t wake up otherwise you gained wake up to peer your toddlers develop up. It’s difficult to locate paintings, it’s difficult to discover medicines. people go through in every way.”

Changing The Role You Play to Manifest a New Life

Do you know the function you’re presently gambling? In case your existence was a part of a Television show or a play, how might you describe your individual? What’s his/her position approximately? Take a few moments and write it down and describe it completely. Next, ask yourself if this is truly the function you would like to play. If it is now not it is a simple issue to alternate roles.

Describe thoroughly the role you would like to have.

What do you appear to be, sense like? How are your relationships? How do you deal with cash? How healthy are you? What do you do for amusing? Let your creativeness move wild, dream large and bravely.

Now, remember the fact that each of those roles is the end result of what you believe yourself to be. The primary one feels real because you’ve performed that role for goodbye. The reality is, that the second is just as to be had to you because the position you no longer revel in gambling.

Your lifestyles are the end result of what you believe yourself and international to be

You’ve got spent your existence creating and recreating it based on what you preserve to be real. Your life expands in line with and as an ideal reflection of what you believe or preserve to be real. On the way to alternate roles, you should begin in the middle. What do you believe about yourself and the world in dating with you?

A new position is the result of you imagining yourself completely specific. You have to pass within and create a picture of your new self in such shiny element that the reality of it overshadows the antique position. maintain to this imaginative and prescient of the new you, experience from it, communicate it, stay from it. Be the new you in every element. Don’t move lower back to the vintage position of worry, strain, lack and unwell fitness. Stay inside the new position till it seems in bright detail as your new fact.

Workout your imagination in a manner that brings approximately the truth you in reality preference to revel in. Whilst your thoughts wanders to the antique role, pause and circulate into the brand new one. Pay attention for what you’re aiming for form. Your words screen the function you are presently playing. change those I am statements to be in concord with the brand new you.

How to Make Bath Bombs With the Wow Factor

I simply love making pores and skin and frame products which I sell at a nearby Farmers Marketplace and certainly one of my maximum popular promoting gadgets is the tub bomb. I am assuming a way to make tub bombs, however, I’m able to provide you with the basic recipe that I enjoy using with tremendous achievement plus I can come up with a few thoughts on the way to make tub bombs with the wow element.

For my simple tub bomb recipe I exploit the following elements:

500 grams of baking soda (bicarbonate of soda) 250 grams of citric acid (granular or satisfactory powder) one hundred miles of the oil mixture

This recipe gives an excellent bomb that fizzes nicely in the tub. You may upload greater citric acid in case you need it even fizzier, but I suppose this quantity works just first-rate. The difficult bit with making any form of bath bomb is for the duration of the level of blending the oils in as there is a pleasant balance to getting just the right quantity of liquid absorbed, without putting off the chemical response that offers the bomb its “fizz.

I find it’s far great to put the oils into a plastic bottle with a cause after which cautiously spray, ONE spray at a time, stirring all of the time. Spray flippantly across the combined elements repeating the spray/stir movement, stirring continually and taking care no longer to over wet the components. As soon as the mixture starts of evolved to maintain collectively and will form a ball form whilst pressed with the aid of hand, Forestall SPRAYING.

Think moist sand castles due to the fact that is the consistency you are aiming for

Then you need to pile the aggregate into your molds by using packing it in as tightly as possible so you overfill each half. Then press the two halves collectively simply the As soon as. Do no longer twist or you will become with 2 halves of a bathtub bomb. It doesn’t matter whether or not or no longer the two halves are coated up nicely or maybe if they are closed, at this degree you’re genuinely encouraging the aggregate into a properly rounded form. Do not forget, the extra mix you % into your molds, the fizzier they’ll be.

So, a way to make bath bombs with the wow issue? To achieve this you need in order to create suitable combinations of vital oils with exclusive provider oils, inclusive of almond oil, avocado oil, apricot kernel oil, to call however some. Experiment with including shades and glitter for a very pretty, girlie type bomb. one in every of my favored tub bombs has to be a decadent chocolate bomb wherein I exploit 50g grated cocoa butter,

Ideas In Choosing a Unique Coffin For Your Loved Ones

Nowadays, most of the people are not content material to go through the hackneyed system of conventional funeral offerings. As a part of the bid to hold the departed reminiscence’s alive, humans are looking for innovative ways to realize and show the specialness of their loved one who has exceeded away. One of the first-rate methods to personalize the affair is via deciding on a completely unique coffin for the departed.

There are embellished caskets which are certain to fit the personality

Of its person in life. Coffins may be customized to display any type of image. A passionate horticulturist can have pix of orchids on her casket even as an avid surfer will have seaside scenes or surfboard styles. It would not stop with the casket’s decorative features, both; the composition of the coffin may be tremendous as well. As an example, former eco-activists will have environmental coffins made with sustainable materials. As a remember of truth, you don’t have to be an activist for a casket to be fitting.

Inexperienced is the brand new black because the eco-fashionistas placed it

As the Green motion forges on, human beings will sense compelled to make Inexperienced picks, and that consists of Inexperienced caskets. Another way for a casket to stand out is thru its form. Now, even as there are individuals who just like the idea of a coffin that has pictures on it, lots of them nevertheless generally prefer the conventional casket shape. Nonetheless, there also are folks who honestly pursue the alternative and request a distinct shape for his or her very own or their loved one’s coffin. The coffin regularly makes up a huge chew of the funeral fee, which is pretty justified because it is a vital symbol utilized in any memorial carrier.

Because of this, it makes feel that you do all you can to ensure that it is something in reality well worth the expense by way of making it actually suitable to the memory of the one that you love. Besides the specific coffin, you can also make the funeral an extra becoming tribute with the aid of the use of cautiously crafted eulogies that replicate the intensity of your love for the deceased. ensure which you assign folks that without a doubt deserve it by way of their regard for and their dating with the departed to take part within the service.

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New Post has been published on Webpostingpro

New Post has been published on https://webpostingpro.com/life-in-war-torn-syria-bomb-blasts-and-no-utilities-but-coffins-are-free/

Life in war-torn Syria: Bomb blasts and no utilities, but coffins are free

For greater than six years, Syria has been hacked apart via struggle. A few warring parties combat for freedom, A few for jihad, A few for the Damascus regime. But whatever the motivation, the upshot is apparently countless bombing, chemical guns attacks, suicide explosions, hunger, sieges, and displacement. So what is day by day lifestyles certainly like for civilians caught in the crossfire?hydrogen bomb

One working example is the province of Idlib

Near the Turkish border. The region galvanized global interest final week after chemical bombs were unleashed on the provincial town of Khan Sheikhoun, claiming the lives of almost one hundred youngsters and adults and wounding hundreds greater.

“There’s meals and A few offerings here, However people are fleeing to other locations,” prominent Syrian journalist Hadi Al Abdullah – who navigates one struggle region to the subsequent – instructed Fox Information.

Even as there are non-governmental agencies (NGOs) on the floor administering A few food and useful resource for those left without homes, there are not any open cafes and a mere spattering of shared turbines for electricity.

“We attempt to just adapt,” Abdullah continued. “We draw water from the earth, we get Some net from Turkey.”

Matters aren’t a lot one of a kind an hour-and-a-half of pressure away, inside the northwest Idlib village of Aqaba. Essa Essa, a 27-yr-antique NGO discipline projects officer, stated that despite the fact that his location is safer than maximum, There is no manner to avoid the killing.

“All the time, you may be scared of a plane and you don’t understand when one will strike. you may be afraid whilst your kids go to play or after they go to the high school that they ain’t come home. You may no longer be secure in your house, maybe the regime bombed your own home,” he defined. “You already know that perhaps You may die when you stroll down the street or visit pray in a mosque. You wonder if You may die while you try to shop for something for your youngsters to devour, or your toddlers won’t wake up otherwise you gained wake up to peer your toddlers develop up. It’s difficult to locate paintings, it’s difficult to discover medicines. people go through in every way.”

Changing The Role You Play to Manifest a New Life

Do you know the function you’re presently gambling? In case your existence was a part of a Television show or a play, how might you describe your individual? What’s his/her position approximately? Take a few moments and write it down and describe it completely. Next, ask yourself if this is truly the function you would like to play. If it is now not it is a simple issue to alternate roles.

Describe thoroughly the role you would like to have.

What do you appear to be, sense like? How are your relationships? How do you deal with cash? How healthy are you? What do you do for amusing? Let your creativeness move wild, dream large and bravely.

Now, remember the fact that each of those roles is the end result of what you believe yourself to be. The primary one feels real because you’ve performed that role for goodbye. The reality is, that the second is just as to be had to you because the position you no longer revel in gambling.

Your lifestyles are the end result of what you believe yourself and international to be

You’ve got spent your existence creating and recreating it based on what you preserve to be real. Your life expands in line with and as an ideal reflection of what you believe or preserve to be real. On the way to alternate roles, you should begin in the middle. What do you believe about yourself and the world in dating with you?

A new position is the result of you imagining yourself completely specific. You have to pass within and create a picture of your new self in such shiny element that the reality of it overshadows the antique position. maintain to this imaginative and prescient of the new you, experience from it, communicate it, stay from it. Be the new you in every element. Don’t move lower back to the vintage position of worry, strain, lack and unwell fitness. Stay inside the new position till it seems in bright detail as your new fact.

Workout your imagination in a manner that brings approximately the truth you in reality preference to revel in. Whilst your thoughts wanders to the antique role, pause and circulate into the brand new one. Pay attention for what you’re aiming for form. Your words screen the function you are presently playing. change those I am statements to be in concord with the brand new you.

How to Make Bath Bombs With the Wow Factor

I simply love making pores and skin and frame products which I sell at a nearby Farmers Marketplace and certainly one of my maximum popular promoting gadgets is the tub bomb. I am assuming a way to make tub bombs, however, I’m able to provide you with the basic recipe that I enjoy using with tremendous achievement plus I can come up with a few thoughts on the way to make tub bombs with the wow element.

For my simple tub bomb recipe I exploit the following elements:

500 grams of baking soda (bicarbonate of soda) 250 grams of citric acid (granular or satisfactory powder) one hundred miles of the oil mixture

This recipe gives an excellent bomb that fizzes nicely in the tub. You may upload greater citric acid in case you need it even fizzier, but I suppose this quantity works just first-rate. The difficult bit with making any form of bath bomb is for the duration of the level of blending the oils in as there is a pleasant balance to getting just the right quantity of liquid absorbed, without putting off the chemical response that offers the bomb its “fizz.

I find it’s far great to put the oils into a plastic bottle with a cause after which cautiously spray, ONE spray at a time, stirring all of the time. Spray flippantly across the combined elements repeating the spray/stir movement, stirring continually and taking care no longer to over wet the components. As soon as the mixture starts of evolved to maintain collectively and will form a ball form whilst pressed with the aid of hand, Forestall SPRAYING.

Think moist sand castles due to the fact that is the consistency you are aiming for

Then you need to pile the aggregate into your molds by using packing it in as tightly as possible so you overfill each half. Then press the two halves collectively simply the As soon as. Do no longer twist or you will become with 2 halves of a bathtub bomb. It doesn’t matter whether or not or no longer the two halves are coated up nicely or maybe if they are closed, at this degree you’re genuinely encouraging the aggregate into a properly rounded form. Do not forget, the extra mix you % into your molds, the fizzier they’ll be.

So, a way to make bath bombs with the wow issue? To achieve this you need in order to create suitable combinations of vital oils with exclusive provider oils, inclusive of almond oil, avocado oil, apricot kernel oil, to call however some. Experiment with including shades and glitter for a very pretty, girlie type bomb. one in every of my favored tub bombs has to be a decadent chocolate bomb wherein I exploit 50g grated cocoa butter,

Ideas In Choosing a Unique Coffin For Your Loved Ones

Nowadays, most of the people are not content material to go through the hackneyed system of conventional funeral offerings. As a part of the bid to hold the departed reminiscence’s alive, humans are looking for innovative ways to realize and show the specialness of their loved one who has exceeded away. One of the first-rate methods to personalize the affair is via deciding on a completely unique coffin for the departed.

There are embellished caskets which are certain to fit the personality

Of its person in life. Coffins may be customized to display any type of image. A passionate horticulturist can have pix of orchids on her casket even as an avid surfer will have seaside scenes or surfboard styles. It would not stop with the casket’s decorative features, both; the composition of the coffin may be tremendous as well. As an example, former eco-activists will have environmental coffins made with sustainable materials. As a remember of truth, you don’t have to be an activist for a casket to be fitting.

Inexperienced is the brand new black because the eco-fashionistas placed it

As the Green motion forges on, human beings will sense compelled to make Inexperienced picks, and that consists of Inexperienced caskets. Another way for a casket to stand out is thru its form. Now, even as there are individuals who just like the idea of a coffin that has pictures on it, lots of them nevertheless generally prefer the conventional casket shape. Nonetheless, there also are folks who honestly pursue the alternative and request a distinct shape for his or her very own or their loved one’s coffin. The coffin regularly makes up a huge chew of the funeral fee, which is pretty justified because it is a vital symbol utilized in any memorial carrier.

Because of this, it makes feel that you do all you can to ensure that it is something in reality well worth the expense by way of making it actually suitable to the memory of the one that you love. Besides the specific coffin, you can also make the funeral an extra becoming tribute with the aid of the use of cautiously crafted eulogies that replicate the intensity of your love for the deceased. ensure which you assign folks that without a doubt deserve it by way of their regard for and their dating with the departed to take part within the service.