#this is just me loving one day at a time with my entire heart

[humanityinahandbag]

This entire thread has me feeling very weepy and nostalgic for the both of them so I'm letting all my feelings out here (mostly because in times like these I miss them so fucking much).

So here are a few fun facts about my grandparents.

My Papa was from Brooklyn. He played basketball as a teenager. His nose was permanently crooked because he broke it twice shooting hoops.

When he wasn't playing basketball, he was reading. He kept a record (that one of my aunts still has) of every book he read in his local library. Which ended up being every book in that library. In alphabetical order.

My Gramma was born in Manhatten. The two of them are born and bred New Yorkers who were not afraid to be loud and opinionated. I'm third generation New Yorker and ridiculously proud of that fact as well.

My Gramma had a boyfriend when she met my Papa. She broke up with him in a phone booth with my Papa next to her. Apparently they couldn't not be together. They just knew and they were almost never apart.

My Gramma was a model when she was young and became a teacher afterwards. They got married at 19 and 20 but wouldn't live together until after both of them became educated. Education was the most important part of life to both of them.

My Papa was a psychologist. He taught himself three different languages and traveled the world teaching psychology in all three languages. He was doing this when he wasn't part of the peace corps.

One of the best things he ever told me was "excrement is the waste of the body, laughter is the waste of the soul, and tears are the waste of the heart"

He also told me that sometimes everyone needs to just go outside and scream. Cursing is a bonus.

My Gramma was an incredible cook who took classes everywhere she traveled. China, Mexico, Spain, France, Italy, everywhere; she was committed to learning how to cook from the people whose culture the food came from. I went traveling with them more than once, and it wasn't a surprise to see a chef come out of the kitchen to give her a hug, no matter what country we were in. They all knew and loved and respected her. I miss her cooking every day. (Thankfully we have an entire book of recipes with pictures of them written down that each member of the family has. It's a prized possession).

My grandparents fought like hell for a better future. They fought for LGBTQ+ rights, for immigration, against racial injustice and for women's autonomy. I could go on but the list would take a while. They made sure that my aunts marched. And then I marched with my aunts when I was just a baby, and then a young kid, and then a teen, and I still march with them now that I've grown up. And it's because of them. They were two people who could always see hope in the world because they'd watched the cycle of good and bad and held firm throughout.

They'd be so proud of everyone who is also holding firm. Who is dedicated to education. Who spends time cooking warm meals with friends, who learns languages and spreads knowledge and travels and takes time to learn about other people and other cultures and other places and is always leaving a seat open at the table no matter what.

That's what they'd do. They'd leave a seat at their table empty for you. And so will I.

And they'd also tell you to please enjoy life while you do it. Because fighting is hard and necessary. But so is laughter and joy. And even in the worst of times there was never a shortage of it between them.

I'd like to tell you all a story about my grandmother.

My grandparents raised their children, four girls (one of them my mother), to be fighters. My aunts marched in Washington for women's rights with babies strapped to their chests and like to joke that all of the grandchildren who came from that line (including myself) were born with picket signs in their hands.

But it started with my grandparents. They fought hard for what they believed in. They marched against Vietnam. They marched for Martin Luther King. They marched for women's rights. They marched for a better future.

But let's talk specifically about my grandmother for a moment.

My grandmother unfortunately passed away in 2016. She had to watch the first Trump election and did so knowing that it would probably be the last election she'd ever see. And there is some argument there that she could have given in to fear and defeatism. She could have decided none of it was worth it, and she could have decided that fascism had won and the world was over.

But she did something else instead.

To give some context, my grandparents had friends who were Republicans. I say were, because they shifted from the normal Republican towards the MAGA Republican we see today. And despite a very clear message from my family about how we felt, they were more than ready to still come to the funeral as if everything was normal. Like their beliefs were normal. Like they were welcome to celebrate someone who had fought so hard for the rights of other people.

These were people who would have absolutely used their rhetoric to scream and shout if they were left out or disinvited.

And so my grandmother, even past her final moments, pulled the most brilliant, petty move I've ever seen.

She'd decided ahead of time that everyone who had known her was more than welcome to attend but that she wanted everyone attending the funeral to donate money. That was the requirement to be invited. And so everyone did just that. There was no talk about what the donations were for, just that they were appreciated. I want to say that the assumption was the money would help pay for funeral expenses and give the family some support while we grieved.

Except that wasn't the case.

Because in those final moments of the funeral, the rabbi stepped forward to thank everyone, and then very cheerfully announced;

"Arlene was so happy to know just how many people were coming to join us here today. She couldn't have been more proud of her family. And I'm sure she would have been elated to see just how much money you all gave today to Planned Parenthood."

When I say that the faces of those people are enshrined in my memory, I mean it. The anger, the devastation, the rage, the betrayal. It was an absolutely gorgeous display of true defeat at the hands of a boss ass old lady who literally fought with her last breath and threw up both middle fingers all the way out the door.

What I'm saying is this.

It is very easy to feel defeated. It is very easy to think that everything is over, and there's nothing left for us to do. It's very easy to say that fascism won, that fear won, that hate won.

But that's only true if you let it be true.

There is always more that we can do. There is a future that is still worth fighting for. And it's more than possible, even when it doesn't seem like it.

And fighting is going to look different every time.

Some days it will look like picket signs in our hands.

Some days it will look like spending time with friends and family and people you love and knowing that you have a community that supports you and your vision of a brighter future.

And some days, it's pulling absolute natural level 20 petty trickster shit even after you've left the world.

Because you can always make an impact and you can always add a little brightness to life, and if that means tricking a group of MAGA idiots into throwing their money behind Planned Parenthood in the middle of your own goddamn funeral then that's what it means.

Keep fighting. People have done it before you. People will continue to do it after you.

And enjoy the little victories.

(Even the petty ones)

[gguk-n]

Chapter 2- The Rules of Pretending

A+ in Pretend Love (Lando Norris x Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Pretending to be a couple. Pretending to be in love for the watching eyes. It's all pretend right. Even having dinner with the parents; it's all pretend right? Why would they like me? Sadly, I'm the only one in love.

Y/N's best friend, Becky, was on the other side of the video call, "every time you say that, my heart skips a beat" Becky sighed. "You think so lowly of me" Y/N groaned. "I'm thinking, whether it is felony or murder. The suspense is killing me" Becky prodded. "Well, I might've agreed to a contract and an NDA" Y/N said building the suspense. "Don't tell me you sold yourself for a visa" Becky sighed. "No, I'm fake dating Lando Norris" Y/N explained. "Who is he? Some old fart?" she quizzed. "No, he's a formula one driver" Y/N whined. "You lost me there" Becky squinted her eyes. "Why would he date you?" she asked. "Who's best friend are you?" Y/N questioned. "Yours obviously but I have to cover all the bases." Becky laughed. "What do you get out of this?" she asked. "Visa renewal and money for my time" Y/N said. "So....You're a sugar baby" Becky nodded her head. "No..." Y/N trailed. "You are. If y'all bonk, charge more. That pussy expensive and smart" Becky pointed out. "This pussy is not. He's kind of hot" Y/N said. "Oh, this won't end well" Becky muttered which Y/N didn't catch.

Lando was kind enough to send Y/N the tickets to Silverstone and explain how they would leave the hotel together. The team had booked their rooms next to each other, so as to not draw too much suspicion.

Y/N was getting changed when she heard a knock on the door. She opened the door; "Hey" she smiled at Lando. "Hi" he smiled back a small blush on his face since she was stood in her towel. "You're in a towel" he pointed out. "We're getting married" she laughed showing her ring, "Not much to hide" she giggled. "I thought it was the room service" she explained. "You would've greeted room service like that" Lando asked shocked. "No, they leave the food at your door" Y/N said squinting her eyes. "We need to leave in 15" Lando said opening the door to leave. "But I'm still hungry" she whined. "I'll buy you something on the way" Lando suggested, closing the door.

Y/N was ready, 5 minutes before they were supposed to leave and the hotel forgot her food. "I think you should complain, I didn't get my food" Y/N said pointing her finger at the ceiling. "I'll do that" Lando laughed. They got something to eat while driving by and Y/N was sat there munching away while nodding along to the songs on the radio, Lando was stealing glances, smiling at the girl next to him.

He parked his car at the paddock. The media ready to snap pictures as he got out. Lando grabbed the extra sunglasses he had got out. As soon as Y/N stepped out of the car, the flashes went off. Lando slipped his shades on her and guided her to McLaren with his hand on her lower back. Y/N's heart was beating, at first she thought it was the bright flashes or the adrenaline but she realised that it was actually Lando's hand on her back. The entire team greeted her warmly when they spotted her.

News had spread like wild fire that Lando had brought a girl with him, another Thursday in their books, but some people were talking about how she had a ring. The McLaren garage was adding fuel to the fire stating Lando brought his fiance.

The media forgot about any race related questions they had and started asking him about the mystery girl he brought. "So, Lando, I've heard you brought your girlfriend?" the interviewer asked tentatively. "Ah, Y/N, my fiance, yes" Lando smirked. "Fiance?" she stammered. "Yes, we got engaged recently. I just couldn't hide my love for her anymore" Lando gloated. "Congratulations" the interviewer was shocked. The rest of media day involved a lot more questions related to Y/N who was spending her time with Lily in the garage. Oscar had come around to the whole fake dating thing and Lily was quite welcoming to say the least. "You're famous, around the paddock" Oscar said returning from the media pen. "Guessed so." Y/N laughed. "There's my gorgeous fiance" Lando shouted wrapping his arms around her. Y/N's eyes fell on the group of men behind him. "Action" Lando whispered pulling away.

"Guys this is Y/N" Lando introduced her, "Y/N my fellow drivers, who I spend most of my time away from you with" Lando laughed. "It's nice to meet you guys." she said. "Can't believe you get to spend all this time with him" she pouted lacing their fingers together. "No no, he's all yours" they laughed before pulling him away. "Okay explain" Carlos cornered Lando. "What?" Lando asked confused. "Where did you produce a girlfriend from?" Max questioned. "I didn't produce any girlfriend" Lando shrugged. "We've been dating for 4 years" Lando said. "While you were sleeping around. She must be a saint then" George chided. "I would've dropped your ass if I was our girlfriend" Alex said shaking his head. "Well, you aren't" Lando humphed. "She's an angel and...and I love her" Lando stated puffing his chest out. "Well, if you do, we don't mind. Just don't you think you're rushing with the proposal" Carlos reasoned. "No, I'm happy" Lando said trying to sell their lie. "If you say so" Max shrugged leading everyone away.

Lando walked in, "What was that?" Y/N whispered. Lando took her to his driver's room. "They are shocked since I have a fiance with my womaniser ways" Lando explained. "Money. That's how" she laughed. Lando laughed along. "You'll meet my childhood friend Max Fewtrell too soon" Lando said grabbing water. "Can't wait" she chirped. "Also, why didn't you let them in on our secret?" she asked. "Other teams wouldn't let their drivers sign NDAs from another team Too much legal hassle Zak said" Lando replied nonchalantly.

Max was also so confused when Lando introduced his fiance who he had been dating for 4 years. Max thought back to all the times and he wasn't sure when he had the time to date anyone when they spent most of the time together either with work or just because but he shrugged it off since Lando said he was happy.

Even though Lando finished second that weekend, everyone's eyes were on him. The media recorded their interaction after he got out of the car and zoomed in when they hugged each other. "We're gonna have to sell it" Lando stated. She nodded and Lando pecked her lips. Later, "Sorry about that" Lando apologised to Y/N. "Hey, if we're gonna tell people we're getting married soon, a peck is nothing" she replied.

The next event they needed to be seen at was a McLaren sponsor's event, the people they were doing this whole charade for. Ever since Y/N had popped up in Lando's life, at least in the media's eyes; every news article about Lando was how he's going to get married soon or how smart his fiance was since she was in a Master's programme at University. People at her University, professor's included wanted to know about Lando when they news spread. This was doing wonders for Lando's image.

Lando called a couple days before the event, "Hey, Y/N. The dress code for the event is formal. Do you have anything? Or do you want to go shopping?" Lando spoke into the phone. "Are you paying?" she joked. "Obviously" Lando replied rolling his eyes but Y/N couldn't see. "I'll pick you up in an hour. This could count as our public date according to the contract" Lando stated waiting for the reply. "Okay" she replied and cut the call to dress up.

Lando showed up almost on time while Y/N rushed to get her stuff and exit her flat. The two of them sat in the car in silence, only breaking it to make small talk.

The shop they stopped at had almost extravagant clothes which made Y/N feel out of place. Lando walked around pointing at a few dresses for the sales rep to take away, "You should choose a few you like too and try them on. We'll buy the one we both can agree on" Lando told her. She quietly scanned the racks, trying not to look at the price tag too closely.

After a couple of dresses, Y/N stepped out in a satin deep green dress with a slit for her left leg to poke out. the dress was held by spaghetti straps. "What do you think? I think I love this" Y/N stated admiring herself in the wall length mirror. Lando's eyes were wide, if this was a cartoon they would be the shape of hearts. He couldn't look away, "You look" the words were stuck in his throat. "Hmm...whether you like it or not, I want this" she smiled brightly looking at him with her puppy eyes. Lando felt like he would melt into a puddle. He just nodded wordlessly and than paid for the dress.

For the event, they showed up together. All the sponsors happy to see Lando and Y/N who was basically an accessory on Lando's arm. "You're gonna have to give your best performance" Lando whispered in her ear. "Don't worry, I was in theatre" she smirked pecking his cheek as they entered the venue. Soon being dragged away by Zak. After all the formalities of meeting with the various sponsors and the soft glances and whispers the two shared to keep up the charade; they were now stood away from the crowd. "Lando, do you get tiny burgers at all these events?" she asked, her eyes glued to the tray of sliders on the waiter's hand. "Not all" he replied before looking where her eyes were wandering off to, "Do you want them?" he asked. "Yes please" she replied eagerly. She picked up a few and pushed one into her mouth, "tiny burgers" she stated with a big grin on her lips while looking at Lando as her cheeks puffed up while she tried to chew it discreetly. "Bring me more" she mumbled with her mouth full. Lando burst out laughing, "Do you love them so much?" he asked. "Yeah, they are tiny burgers" she stated with another mouth full of the slider. "By the way, I'm graduating next month, so you'll have to come since my whole university wants to meet you" she said gulping the slider down. "okay" Lando nodded. "My parents will be around, but you can slip away after the ceremony. You don't need to join the dinner or anything" she explained. Lando just nodded along, pulling her closer by her waist as the waiter with a tray full of champagne almost knocked into her. "Careful, sweetheart" he said while Y/N was flushed against his chest. She felt her heart beating in her chest, loud and clear, Lando's breath hot on her lips. The proximity wasn't helping her. He looked down and when their eyes met, she hiccuped pushing herself away. "Thanks" she mumbled clearly feeling hot.

On the day of the graduation, Lando met up with Y/N's parents who for a reason unknown to her too, introduced him as her fiance as if by reflex. Her dad was skeptical at first but Lando quickly grew on him. "Congratulations, darling" Lando said hugging Y/N and handing the bouquet he got. She took the flowers and put them away. "Mum and Dad, this is Lando, my fiance" she said as her eyes widened. "It's nice to meet you Mr and Mrs Y/L/N" Lando said, turning around to smirk at Y/N. "I didn't know you were dating someone" her mother asked shocked. "Ah yes, we've been together for a while, haha" she tried to laugh it off while her dad stared at him. At the ceremony, Lando was surrounded by everyone wanting to take pictures with him. He was the one cheering the loudest when Y/N was called on stage.

"So, I booked this place for the celebration dinner" Lando told Y/N's parents. Y/N looked at him shocked, "It wouldn't look nice if your fiance ditched you on your graduation day" he whispered pulling her along. The dinner finished without any hitch except for the fact that Y/N thought she would faint with how fast her heart was beating. Lando was no better, he couldn't stop thinking about her when he reached home.

After the graduation, they were seen on dates across the globe enjoying themselves and mandatory race appearances; giving them the opportunity to grow closer. Y/N and Lando were both falling for each other but too scared to tell anyone or each other in the fear of losing what they have.

After returning from another one of their weekend getaways, Y/N sat down next to Becky. "Becky, I'm fucked" she whined. Becky looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue; "I think I'm in love" she pouted. "Saw that coming from a mile away" Becky smirked. "What?" Y/N asked shocked. "Haven't you read romance novels with the fake dating trope, both the main leads are fake dating and they fall in love. At least in the novel you know they'll end up together, I have no clue about real life" she said patting her friend's back. "I'm sorry but with Lando's past, I don't see you in his future" Becky reasoned. "Don't say that" Y/N cried. "I'm being realistic. It's better to move on" she said. "But he's different and those news articles, they are exaggerated. He isn't a complete fuck boy in real life." Y/N reasoned. "Hey I know nothing but his fancy world has no place for people like us" she told her best friend. "Weren't you happy that you would be done with the relationship when your PHD programme started. Weren't you happy it got delayed so that you could focus on your career?" Becky cocked her head. "Yeah I was" Y/N slumped. "But he's different and I'm not sure how I'll let him go" Y/N sighed as tears formed in her eyes.

Back at Lando's place, things weren't any different. Max was gaming on Lando's PC when Lando caught his attention, "I think I'm in love with Y/N" Lando stated. "You better be, since you guys are engaged" Max chided pulling his headphones off. "But like I did a thing" Lando began. "Please don't tell me you cheated on her now" Max begged. "What? NO. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" Lando shouted. "Mate I'm talking from experience that when people say that they mean they did something bad. I'm not saying you did it though" Max tried to calm him down. "Actually" Lando sighed, "We aren't actually dating" Lando said. "What?" It was Max's turn to shout. "yeah, we started dating because of my PR image but I think I love her now" Lando groaned. "Tell her" Max said as if it was the easiest thing. "What?" Lando looked at him. "Tell her and if she likes you too, the two of you can actually get married" Max said as if stating the obvious. "I don't think she likes me like that" Lando mumbled.

Tag list- @gamesetmatch-me @seonghwaexile @yootvi @hadesnumber1daughter @khaylin27 @abq654 @plotpal @charlesgirl16 @inarabee @a-beaverhausen @hwalllllllelujah

[keeryhours]

me and your mama - rafe cameron

Baby daddy! Rafe x Baby mama! Maybank! Reader

Masterlist

Rafe Cameron Masterlist

More Baby Daddy! Rafe

Summary:

you know that i love you

so let me into your heart

Rafe spends a day with his girls, and maybe confesses some feelings.

Requested

Warnings:

None really, kissing/making out, just fluff and a bit of angst

Word Count: 2,913

A/N:

It is seriously so exciting that you guys are loving baby daddy! Rafe as much as I am. Thank you so much for interacting and requesting!

—

“Dada?”

That had been the soundtrack to the entire morning. Iris had followed you around on her short little legs, the only word she wanted to say today being “dada”. It was driving you crazy, but at the same time you felt guilty, knowing she was missing her dad.

After about the 105th “dada”, you sighed, pulling your cell phone out of your pocket. “Okay, baby girl. Let’s call daddy.”

The phone didn’t ring long before you heard his low voice over the line.

“Hey,” Rafe greeted, sounding bored.

“Hey,” you said back, phone stuck between your ear and shoulder as you cut up a banana for Iris’ snack.

“What’s up?”

“Your daughter misses you,” you said, glancing down at the toddler watching you with her full attention. She reached a chubby hand up and you handed her a banana slice.

“Yeah?” Rafe asked, a chuckle in his voice. “I miss her, too.”

“Do you want to come over?” you asked him. You rinsed the knife you had been using in the sink before dropping it in to properly wash later.

“Yeah, I’ll come over,” he said. You heard him groan as he stood from wherever he’d been sitting.

“Long night?” you asked. Iris trailed after you as you walked to her high chair with her plate in hand. You lifted her and sat her in it, buckling her in.

“Something like that.”

You rolled your eyes, not even wanting to know what he meant by that. Iris giggled up at you with her mouth full of banana, making you laugh.

“I’ll see you in a few.”

By the time Iris finished eating and you got her and her chair all cleaned up, the front door was opening. Those heavy footsteps sounded as he walked down the hall, finding the two of you in the kitchen.

Iris’ whole face lit up when Rafe walked into the room. She squealed as she ran to him, arms up in the air to be picked up.

Rafe laughed as he scooped her into his arms, hugging her close. “Hey, baby girl. I heard you missed me.”

Iris wrapped her tiny hand around Rafe’s nose. “Dada!”

Rafe laughed again. “That’s my nose.” He grabbed at her little one. “And that’s your nose.” Iris laughed like it was the funniest thing he could have done.

You couldn’t help the smile on your face at the sight of Rafe and Iris. They loved each other so much, it was clear to anyone who looked for even a second.

“Did you have plans today?” you asked him, leaning against the counter as you watched.

“No plans,” he said. He turned to look at you then. “Why, did you want to do something?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, I thought it might be nice to get out of the house.”

Rafe looked down at the little girl in his arms. “What do you think, Iris? Do you wanna go to the park?”

“Ark!” she agreed, eyes shining bright.

“I think she likes the idea,” Rafe said, shooting you a smirk.

“Park it is, then,” you said, smiling to yourself as you pushed off the counter. “Let me get changed.”

You changed into something that felt a little cuter to be going out in public, but still casual enough to run around at the park. You settled on a pair of shorts and a crop top.

You came out of your bedroom to see Rafe playing with Iris on the living room floor. You smiled at them, then moved into the kitchen again. You figured you might as well make a whole thing out of it. You grabbed some ingredients and began to make lunches for the three of you.

The sounds of Iris’ wild giggles filled the house as you made sandwiches, cut up fruit, and grabbed some little bags of chips and snacks from the cabinet. You grabbed the small insulated cooler from next to the back door and packed the lunch in it, along with some sodas, juice for Iris, and some beers for Rafe.

You were grateful that Rafe kept a car seat installed in his truck, because moving and reinstalling it was the biggest pain in the ass. He carried Iris out of the house while you carried her diaper bag on your shoulder and the cooler in your hands, along with a blanket. He hooked her into her car seat, talking to her softly and making her giggle the whole time. Usually she just screams in your face when you try to get her in the car seat.

Rafe drove you all to the park on Figure 8. The windows were down in the truck because it was such a beautiful day. The salty wind whipped your hair around your face, but it felt so nice you didn’t care.

Iris began kicking her feet and cheering as Rafe pulled into the parking lot of the park. You both laughed at her excitement and he shut off the truck, both of you hopping out.

Rafe put Iris down as you reached the grass of the park, and she took off as fast as her little legs would carry her. Rafe trailed behind her, laughing.

“Where you going?” he called after her. She only squealed in response, running up to the swing set and reaching for the baby swing. She looked back at her dad expectantly.

Rafe lifted her up and sat her in the swing, pushing her high enough that she was having the time of her life but not so high he was scared of her getting hurt. When she was tired of the swings he let her down and she ran to the slide. You and Rafe each held one of her hands as she slid down, quickly running back to do it again and again.

“Getting hungry?” you asked her after she had been playing for an hour. It was nearing nap time, too.

“Hungy,” she confirmed, and you noticed her wiping her eyes.

Rafe scooped her up in his arms while you grabbed the blanket and cooler and you found a comfortable place in the grass, a good distance away from other families at the park. You spread the blanket and the three of you sat down, making yourselves comfortable.

You opened the cooler and started grabbing Iris’ food. You set it all up for her and she began eating right away, tiny fingers grabbing for a chunk of strawberry first.

You passed Rafe his sandwich and chips, which he took with a grateful look.

“Beer or soda?” you asked him.

“Beer would be good,” he said, predictably. You passed him the bottle and he opened it with ease, taking a few big sips.

You unwrapped your own sandwich and took a bite, taking in the scenery around you as you ate your lunch. It really was a beautiful day, and it had been too long since you just spent time outdoors, in nature. It felt peaceful, the air smelled clean. You sipped your soda, enjoying the breeze on your skin.

The best view of all was right next to you. You took in the image of your daughter, sitting comfortably leaned back against Rafe while she ate her lunch. She was dressed in a little pair of overalls today, a pink shirt underneath.

Your eyes traveled up to Rafe, looking off into the distance as he drank his beer. He must have been thinking the same thing you were, his eyes glancing over the scene surrounding you. You couldn’t help but notice how blue his eyes looked in the light, the way they were slightly squinted in the sun. His big, strong hand wrapped around his beer bottle. The strong muscles of his arms, his chest…

You were getting carried away.

You tried to shake it off, but then he turned at the last moment, eyes meeting yours. He smiled at you, and it made your heart thump harder in your chest. You wondered if he would always have this effect over you.

Iris fell asleep after lunch. She just curled up right on the blanket and passed out before either of you had even realized.

“She’s so beautiful,” Rafe mused, gently brushing some of his daughter’s soft brown hair out of her face without waking her.

“She looks just like you,” you pointed out.

“I know,” he said. “Lucky girl.”

You shoved him in the shoulder hard, and he laughed, nearly falling over into the grass.

“You’re so annoying,” you laughed, shaking your head.

He was still laughing as he plucked another beer from the cooler. He opened it and lifted it to his lips. He reached forward and tucked your hair behind your ear.

“She would have been lucky to look like you, too,” he said, and you laughed lightly. “Seriously. You’re the hottest girl on the island, Maybank.”

You felt your cheeks heating up, looking down at your legs instead of at him. “That is not true.”

“You think I’d lie about that?” Rafe asked. He continued to drink his beer, his eyes never leaving your face.

You shrugged.

You heard Rafe sigh, then you felt his hand on the side of your face, turning it to look at him. He was so much closer than you realized when you turned, and before you could open your lips to speak, he was kissing you.

Your eyes fluttered closed as you kissed him back. His hand landed on the back of your head, pulling you closer to him as he deepened the kiss, tongue slipping into your mouth. His tongue slowly dragged along yours, and you accidentally moaned against him, causing his lips to tilt up in a smirk. He didn’t stop kissing you though, dominating the kiss and exploring your mouth with his tongue.

Your hand rested on his thigh, the other on the blanket as you leaned your weight against it. You tilted your head to kiss him more naturally, his fingers playing with the hair at the back of your neck.

When he finally pulled away he rested his forehead against yours. He said your name, low, nearly pained.

You felt the same pain in your chest. You wanted so badly for things to be different with Rafe, and you knew he wanted that too. But you had both agreed you couldn’t be together.

“Rafe…” you whispered back. His nose brushed against yours, your faces still so close as he just rested there, like he was thinking.

“Why are we doing this?” he finally asked, his voice quiet, nearly a whisper.

“Doing what?” you asked, not sure what exactly he was referring to.

“Pretending we don’t love each other.”

You froze. You felt like all the air had been sucked from your body. Rafe’s hand left your hair and grabbed onto your hand. “Rafe…” you breathed out again. You didn’t know what to say.

“It’s kind of bullshit, isn’t it?” he continued, forehead still pressed against yours. It would take only the slightest movement for your lips to meet again.

You agreed. It was bullshit. You were tired of it, too. But you and Rafe had also mutually agreed that you weren’t right together. Your brief relationship had been toxic, dramatic, exhausting. You didn’t want to go through it again.

“Yeah,” you said simply. His thumb rubbed across the back of your hand.

“I want to be with my daughter every day. I want to be with you every day.” Rafe looked into your eyes then and you’d never seen him look so serious. Well, a couple of times, but it was rare. It was enough to scare you.

“I want that too, but Rafe-“

“Why don’t we just try again?”

You closed your eyes tightly. You thought you might cry if you didn’t. “We can’t.”

Rafe scoffed, looking away, back into the distance of the park in front of you. He ran a hand over his buzz cut, a sign of the stress he was feeling.

“I know,” he said finally. “I know.”

You both sat there in silence for a little while, listening to the sounds of kids screaming at the park, birds in the trees, Iris’ soft breathing as she slept between you.

“I just think…” Rafe began again. “Maybe…it could be different this time.”

You wanted to believe that more than anything. You wanted to take the chance. But you didn’t think you’d survive the heartbreak when it inevitably didn’t work again. You and Rafe were already tied together for the rest of your lives, something that had taken you long enough to come to terms with after the initial breakup. You had never wanted to see him again at the time, and now you had a successful co-parenting relationship. You were terrified to lose the peace you had come to find in your shared lives, returning back to the chaos.

“I want that,” you said. “I really do. But it just feels like a bad idea.”

Rafe nodded. His face didn’t betray any of his emotions, but you could tell they were swirling in his head. He finished off his second beer. “I’m never gonna stop loving you, you know.”

Your heart twisted in your chest at his words. Because you knew exactly how he felt. “I’ll never stop loving you either, Rafe.”

You saw his jaw clench as you spoke the words. The muscles in his arm flexed as he clenched and unclenched his fist. He was holding back. He had more to say.

“We should get her home,” he said instead, and he was packing the cooler and bags before you could say anything else. He gently picked up Iris’ sleeping form as you grabbed the other supplies and the blanket. Iris curled against his chest, not waking from her sleep for even a second. You had been blessed with an amazing sleeper for a baby.

The drive home was more awkward, the carefree joy from earlier suffocated by this tension. You looked at Rafe’s hand on the wheel as his other arm rested on the open window. You looked away, making an effort to stop thinking about how attractive he was when you were trying to get over him.

Maybe you’d be happier getting under him.

You shook that thought away.

Back at the house, Rafe carried Iris inside, taking her to her nursery and laying her down in her crib without waking her while you collapsed on the couch. You were surprised when he joined you a minute later, thinking he’d leave as soon as he got her down.

“I had a good time with you guys. I like when we get to do stuff together.”

“Me too,” you said honestly. Rafe’s hand rested on your bare thigh, and he squeezed once. You looked over at him to find him already staring at you.

He moved closer, slowly, giving you ample time to push him away. You didn’t. When his lips touched yours again he kissed you passionately, hand resting on your waist and pulling you closer. So close that you ended up throwing your leg over his lap, straddling him.

He groaned against your lips as he wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close and pulling your hips down against his as you kissed. Your arms rested around his neck, chest pressed against his. His big hands slid down to your ass and he grabbed hard.

You gasped into the kiss, Rafe taking it as an opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth again. His hands were beginning to creep up your shirt when you pulled back. “Rafe…”

“Come on, right here on the couch before JJ gets home from work,” Rafe practically begged, his eyes dark with lust and his hands touching all over you. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back, fighting a battle with your own body.

“Can’t,” you force yourself to say, and the word sounds as pained as you feel. “We can’t.”

Rafe leaned forward, head falling against your chest as he sighed. He placed a few more kisses on the tops of your breasts peeking out of your top before pressing one more to your lips.

“Okay,” he conceded.

You climbed off his lap, although neither of you wanted you to. Rafe’s hand lingered on your thigh as you sat next to him, rubbing your skin affectionately.

“I guess I’ll go then,” he said. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, checking texts and anything else he’s missed since he hadn’t touched the phone while he was with you. Topper’s invited him to some party, which doesn’t sound like a bad way to spend this night. A good way to forget.

You looked at him sadly, wanting to tell him no, stay, and maybe also please fuck me on the couch like you were just about to. But you don’t.

Rafe leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss on your cheek. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” His voice rumbled right against your ear.

You didn’t move as he stood and left the house. You didn’t move when you heard his truck start and the gravel kicking up as he drove off. You fingers itched for your phone, to tell him to please come back no matter how humiliating that would be.

Instead your fingers reach up and touch your lips, still tingling from his kiss like he’d never left.

[purplecoffee13]

NFWMB - PART FIVE*

Summary: “Y/N hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what happened, but it seems like she is not the only one overthinking this time…”

Tropes: innocent!reader x boxer!harry

Wc: 3k

Warnings: smutty scenes, oral (fem receiving), dirty talk, teeny tiny bit of angst ig

A/N: I AM BACK! I finished my exams today and I hurried home to write the rest of this chapter bc I have been itching to do so for the past weeks. I will try not to put as much time in between the next chapters, sorry about that! Love you all and enjoy!!!

General Masterlist

Series Masterlist

It had been three days. Three entire days since the kissing-in-the-car debacle that Y/N had participated in, and she still wasn't over it. How was she supposed to act normal at their class tomorrow? It had plagued her mind ever since she walked into her apartment that Saturday night.

All weekend, she had been contemplating different things. Saturday and Sunday, she was sure she wanted to never see his face again because she couldn't stand the embarrassment. But when Monday rolled around and re-thought everything after coming back from work, she realized that she should probably be mature and talk to him.

However, that resulted into her pacing around her room like a maniac with the phone in her hand, his number ready to dial. For the past twenty minutes she had been trying to convince herself to just press that call button and get it over with.

"C'mon..." Y/N growled to herself. She stopped in her tracks, took a deep breath, and finally called him. Her hands were sweating as the dial tone sounded over and over again, and the nerves she felt were sure to explode her stomach, but she kept breathing and waited for Harry to pick up.

The distant sound of a phone ringing took Y/N’s attention away from her own attempted call. Her heart began beating even faster as she walked towards her front door, and sure enough, when looking through her peephole, she saw Harry standing in front of her door.

As she took the lock off, Y/N broke up the call and putting her phone in her pocket. Harry's eyes were wide at the door opening all of a sudden, but he still managed to muster an awkward smile amidst his shock before he greeted her.

"Hi." He said quietly.

"Hi." She greeted back, unsure of what to do or say or feel. "uhm, what are you doing here?"

The question came out so soft, as if she was scared to ask it, not ready for the consequences his answer may bear. Maybe it was true; she had always had the feeling that her body was better at communicating her true feelings than her brain was.

"I need to talk to you." Harry said, his tone serious enough for Y/N's chest to start pressing on her, but a soft edge to it nonetheless. "Can I come in?"

She nodded, opening the door wider and letting Harry inside her apartment. He walked in and silently observed the place. Y/N felt oddly tense as she waited for him to take it all in, but he was quite quick to turn around. In the seconds that he stood there, entirely quiet, Y/N deduced the obvious: he was awaiting some instructions from her.

"Go sit on the couch, do you want something to drink?" She asked, already heading for the kitchen. Harry sat down like she told him to, but shook his head.

"No thank you, just wanna talk. Can you... sit down?" His difficulty to meet her eye and the apprehension behind his words had Y/N immediately head for the couch and sit down next to him.

"What did you want to talk about?" She asked innocently, like she wasn’t the reason this awkwardness existed in the first place.

"About last Saturday." He answered. You began to shake your head, cheeks already reddening from the shame that washed over you.

"Harry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Just— hold on," He interrupted her. "I said something, that night, I can't help but think that you didn't take it how I meant it. And it has been eating at me all weekend because I'd hate to be the fool who accidentally rejected you."

Harry's eyes bored into Y/N's until she couldn't take the intensity of it anymore and looked down. He leaned forward, putting his hand on her leg. She studied his fingers as they slowly caressed her skin.

"Harry, it's okay. I misinterpreted it, you don't have to make excuses to make me feel better." She shrugged her shoulders, hoping to prematurely dodge any bullets that might have ended up with her crying otherwise.

"I'm not!" He protested. "I— Y/N, look at me."

When she didn't instantly comply, Harry's fingers traced up to her chin and redirected her face towards him, forcing her to meet his gaze. His thumb slowly stroked her chin as he took in every inch of her face.

"I wanted it." He said slowly, making sure she heard every word he says. Slowly leaning in, he added: "Really bad."

His lips hovered near hers, so close it was nearly sending her into a frenzy, but far away enough for him to assess her reaction on his movements. But Y/N was an open book, a reactive person when it came to these desires. She couldn't feign disinterest as she had never felt this strongly about someone in such a perverted manner before. Harry mouth slowly curled up into a smirk.

"Can I show you how badly I wanted it?" He asked, the heat of his breath reaching her face and making her core pulsate. The only thing Y/N could do was nod, and before she knew it, Harry's lips closed in on hers.

A soft whine escaped her throat as he kissed her, the desperation of her body unshielded under his roughly delicate touch. Nothing seemed to make sense as he slowly slipped his tongue into her mouth and pushed her back on the couch, nothing but him.

Harry leaned forward, not taking his mouth off Y/N as she sat against the armrest. He hovered over her, his body between her spread legs. One of his hands was holding onto her waist, while the other one kept him up by holding onto the armrest.

As their tongues danced around each other, Harry's hand slipped down from her waist towards her inner thighs, and Y/N felt her panties getting wet at the suggestive caresses of her skin. She put her hands on Harry's shoulders and pushed him back a little bit, their lips now apart. Still caught up in the heat of the moment, Harry mindlessly trailed his kisses down her jaw and then onto her neck.

"Harry." Y/N tried to get his attention, but his name sounded more like an erotic plea, and caused a growl to sound from his lips, followed by a rougher treatment on her neck. Her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head as his lips sucked at that sensitive skin of her, and a small whine fell from her as he bruised her neck.

"Ha— hmm... Harry!" She exclaimed. "S— stop."

Within a millisecond, or at least it felt like that, Harry's hands and mouth were removed from her. His face was filled with worry as he took in hers.

"Are you okay? Did I go too far?" He began asking, but she was quick to shake her head.

"No! It's just— I haven't really, done much of this before. I don't have a lot of experience and uhm, I just wanted you to know that before we... proceeded." Y/N explained, voice near trembling as she spoke. Harry's eyes softened, and his face pulled into a soft smile.

"Thank you for telling me." He said, leaning forward and giving her a kiss before pulling back, sitting up straight. "I just have one question, though."

Y/N nodded, big doe eyes staring right at him as that innocent smile transformed into a smug grin.

"Can I show you what I actually wanted to do last Saturday?" He asked, stroking her already spread legs. Before she knew it, the answer fell from Y/N's lips.

"Yes."

He let out a satisfied hum before his hands grabbed at her shorts and pulled them down along with her underwear, leaving her bare cunt to be exposed to him. Y/N blushed, feeling slightly embarrassed at how exposed she was, but the fascination that twinkled in Harry's eyes washed most of her insecurities away. She watched carefully as he leaned down and his fingers began stroking her folds.

Y/N held her breath in anticipation, curiously waiting for Harry to continue, and when he finally put his hands on her clit, she couldn't help but shift in her seat a bit at the tingling sensation.

"O— oh!" She shrieked when she felt Harry's tongue attached itself to her clit, his middle finger now paying more attention to slowly beginning to slide in and out of her. Y/N tried to control her breathing to the best of her abilities as Harry explored her sopping and pulsating core.

Y/N's mind had gone all fuzzy from the sweet feeling of his touch on her sensitive parts. It was impossible to focus on anything else than Harry, and even if it was, she wouldn't dare take her eyes off of him anyway. It was addictive, the way he was ravishing her like she was a culinary meal, and it felt glorying.

Harry temporarily removed his mouth from her heat, and looked up at Y/N before saying: "C'mon, angel. Tell me how it feels."

Her heart skipped a beat at the nickname she'd grown to love ever since the first time he said it, and she tried to control her whines as she responded.

"So— ah! So good..." She managed to reply, her knuckles turning white from balling up her fists in an attempt to not come too early. Harry's tongue swept over her clit in such an intoxicating way, and his now two fingers pumping in and out of her was only getting her closer to her inevitable climax.

Harry moaned at her verbal approval, and picked up the pace of both his mouth and his fingers, leaving her nothing but a whimpering mess under him. This was surely going to be the death of her, wasn’t it?

"Harry— I think I'm going to..." She ran out of breath before she could finish your sentence, and she began convulsing around him, legs trembling as her orgasm began to reach her like a wave building up. And then just like that, it crashed.

With a cry of his name and a few profanities that followed, the sensual waves of her release hit Y/N. The release was slow and long, and one of the most satisfying ones she'd ever had. Harry's touch stayed on her skin, helping her ride out her high.

When he finally backed away, Y/N was still breathing heavily from what she had just experienced. Wide eyed, she observed how he licked his lips before he looked up at her. She could've come again from the sight of that alone.

"D'you want some water?" Harry suddenly asked, getting up from the couch and walking over to your kitchen. She followed him with her eyes, mouth agape as he went through her kitchen cabinets until he stumbled upon two glasses and filled them with water. As he returned to the couch, he raised a brow, indicating that he was still waiting on an answer.

"Uhm, yes, thank you." Y/N stumbled as he handed her the glass. She took a few sips, scanning him while she drank. He was so casual all of a sudden, leaning back against the couch with his legs spread like that... there was something cocky about it and Y/N wasn't sure if she wanted to roll her eyes at it or jump his bones.

Possibly both, at the same time.

Y/N put her glass down and slowly crawled over to Harry, who sniffed a laugh at her wobbly movements on the way too squishy couch. She hoped it would at least come off as cute, now that her attempt at being sexy had been trampled by her own furniture.

As the laughter from both parties died down, Y/N took it upon herself to slowly start kissing Harry's neck. Her heartbeat rose when she felt him shifting in his seat, a pained sigh escaping his throat. Meticulously, she dragged her hand down his chest until it reached his pants, and she began unbuckling his belt.

She was surprised when she felt his hand pull hers away, and stopped her actions to see what was going on. When she saw his clenched jaw, she frowned.

"Are you okay?"

"You don't have to do that angel." He said, tilting his head a bit. She slowly shook her head.

"Oh, alright." She said, and felt a pang in her chest at the idea that she could've done something wrong. Harry took both of her hands, cupping his over them.

"I’d like to save it for next time." He suggested, the slight raise of his brow adding a certain playfulness to his reply. The hint of a smile on his face filled her with a warm feeling, and she quickly found herself nodding at what Harry had said.

“Plus, I have to get my beauty rest… I’ve got a long day tomorrow. I teach this private self-defense class, client’s got me working till late.” He joked, eyes beaming when a giggle fell from her lips. Y/N took her bottom lip between her teeth, stomach fluttering as she took in the painfully beautiful, funny, charismatic man in front—or well, under her.

“Really? Is she any good?” She teased back, brows raising in surprise when Harry nodded.

“Difficult to teach tho.” He responded.

“Why’s that?” Y/N questioned, genuine curiosity dripping from her tone. Harry took his eyes off her and shamelessly lowered his gaze to her body as his hands, that had dug into her waist, slowly began to trail down to her ass.

“‘S just so hard to concentrate…” He said lowly, and she felt her core heating up again at the sole sound of Harry’s voice. Her cheeks flushed alike at what he was implying, and she felt like an animal with the way her body reacted to him.

Y/N remained as quiet as she could, savoring Harry’s touch on her bare skin. She would have closed her eyes, had she not been too mesmerized by her face to do so.

Nerves swirled in her stomach as she watched Harry’s stare trail upwards again, only to stop at her lips. Gradually, he leaned forward, closing the gap between the two’s mouths. Y/N couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her when Harry put his lips on her again, and much like the touch of his hands on her, she relished in the way his tongue circled around hers, and she was surprised at how well their bodies captured the connection that she had been unable to explain in words.

It was safe to say that Y/N was disappointed when at last Harry pulled away, but she couldn’t be mad at him, not with that face of his.

Her eyes widened when he got up all of a sudden, hands still holding up her thighs in the few moments before she wrapped them tightly around him in response to the sudden movement. He sniffed a laugh, which Y/N was only able to hear because her arms were locked around Harry’s neck and her face was only a few centimeters away from his. The urge to smile almost prevailed over her shock.

Harry’s hands let go of Y/N’s thighs, and she lowered her legs in response, putting her feet on the ground again and removing herself from his touch completely.

As they walked towards the front door, Y/N found herself to be a bit gloomy. She didn’t want him to leave, he was so fun to be around. He made her not worry, which was a miracle because Y/N always worried. And she knew she’d go back to worrying and overthinking the second she’d be alone again, so the prospect of Harry going away was not the most fun. She had to remind herself that she’d see him tomorrow, though.

Y/N opened the door, waiting as Harry put on his coat. When he finally had, he turned to her one last time.

“Sleep tight, angel.” He said, and with that, walked right out the door. Y/N croaked out a weak ‘bye’, but she was pretty sure she’d heard the elevator ding by then.

It took her a minute to recover physically before turning off her lights in the living room and floating towards her bathroom, where she smiled like an idiot all the way through brushing her teeth.

It wasn’t until her head hit the pillow that what she dreaded came along again: that tiresome worry. Thoughts and scenarios filled her head as she lied in bed, watching the ceiling as if it would grant her answers, or peace.

It was as if, with Harry, nothing else truly mattered. Not necessarily in the corny, dramatic way, but rather in the sense that it felt like the outside world wasn’t that much of a factor in Y/N’s decisions, nor did she have the feeling that it should be whenever she was around him. But when he was gone, it would all start to matter again and suddenly she found herself doubting whether dating Harry would even be a good idea.

What would her parents think? What would Sophie think? Would she be viewed as less professional by her co-workers for dating her trainer? Would it impact Harry’s reputation—

She stopped herself. Probably not, considering Harry was a man.

It was with a frown that Y/N eventually dozed off into a deep slumber. Not even in her dreams she was safe from the anxiety that plagued her, a nightmare about being fired stirring her awake at around four in the morning. She was more exhausted when she woke up than when she went to bed.

But despite all of it, her body still buzzed in anticipation of tonight’s class…

Taglist: @meetmeatyourworst @mema10 @seafoamwhispers @namoreno @inkedskin @fangirl509east @mellamolayla @lizsogolden @prettydelilah @kierramcduffie @harry2121 @babegoals @hermionelove @bitchidontpost @lomlolivia

[redd956]

One of the invasive flowers of my area that I absolutely adore is the Surprise Lily, a.k.a Naked Lady, a.k.a. Ressurection Lily.

The first year they arrived in my state my Grandma Fran (the cool grandma) had never seen them before. Neither had I. Neat thing about the Surprise Lily is they pop up overnight, no stalk, no buds, just suddenly entire cluster of bloomed flowers.

These flowers popped up in my Grandma Fran's garden bed one the birthday of her son, Aaron, who had passed away five years before that day. She's quite the religious and happy Christian lady (don't worry, she's the cool one), and took these flowers as a sign from her baby boy. She called them Aaron's flowers, and then died later that year too from the very same thing, hereditary heart disease.

Every time I see these flowers, even though I know they're invasive and came all the way from Japan, I cannot help but think about the smile it put on her face. Nothing had grown in that garden bed for years. It was still covered in dead brush, the brown growths surrounded the lively green stalks and pink lily heads.

They're Aaron's Flowers now to me, and I love to see them return every year now.

And yes they are related to the Red Spider Lily

[gotskamstuff]

I am actually heartbroken right now, there’s no other way I have to describe it if not heartbreak and the thing is that I don’t even mean it because of the emotions evoked by the story, it’s actual pain by seeing my favorite show being ruined.

‘Cause I’m sorry but the show is forever ruined for me and I won’t be able to look at it with the same eyes ever again. I’ve said it once before when we were discussing rumors and I’ll say it once again now that we have seen it become a reality…this to me goes behind JJ being a fan favorite and even behind the ship, this is genuinely something that made me lose trust in the storytelling and in the core that’s this show.

This makes no sense, ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.

Once again I’ll repeat it, I’m no snowflakes when it comes to characters death in shows (hello? Game of thrones fan here? I suffered like a dog) but damn, there’s gotta be a sense for a character dying and there’s absolutely none here, this is also not the type of show when it would be needed.

I’ve always said it and a character like JJ could’ve ended only in ONE WAY to give justice to him and to his story: LIVING HIS FUTURE.

When I say this ruins how I view the show and my trust in the storytelling I mean it with my whole chest, this has ruined JJ’s story from season 1 episode 1 “The Pilot” to this day, JJ’s ENTIRE story doesn’t mean anything anymore…what was the reason for all this? JJ’s story has always revolved around him never believing to have a righteous future in store for him, never believing he could have something good for himself and you get the idea, his whole story arc was about him never seeing anything for him…and he doesn’t? HE ACTUALLY DOESN’T HAVE A FUTURE? What was the point? What was the poiny of seeing JJ struggling from day 1? What was the point of exploring his insecurities? What was the point of seeing him falling in love? This is what I find the most heartbreaking, if I put season 1 episode 1 on right now and I see JJ on my screen, the first thing that comes to mind is: What was the point of any of this? If he never overcame his struggles and still didn’t get closure with Luke? If he died still believing only a episode earlier that he still didn’t have a future for him? If he still struggled to accept the love and never overcame his insecurities? If he never got that future he dreamed about? (which yeah ok he got for like what? 5 minutes of screentime) …what was the point in JJ’s entire story if he never got to prove himself wrong?

The only right way a character like JJ could’ve seen his story end with dignity would’ve literally been living that future he was sure he’d never have: have a house, a job, a family, HAVE KIDS, grow old not being a drunk in prison. And they killed him TWICE in my opinion, physically and also morally by making him die not being himself and still with all that anger and fear inside him and without his story ever finding closure.

None of this does justice to JJ’s story and his arc.

This is honestly what I can’t wrapped my head around, the reason why JJ was a fan favorite was not casual…it was because of his story, when we say “we watch for JJ” is because he’s one of those characters in a show that you’re rooting for, that you wanna see defeat the odds and get the ending his heart deserves…and I’m sorry to the writers because unintentionally they made him the protagonist just as much as John B if not even more at times. When we say there’s no excitement to watch the show now this is the reason: what’s there to root for if we were rooting for their better future and this was the whole story SINCE SEASON ONE?

I had big hopes for this season and I actually enjoyed part 1 but wow was I let down, this ending just killed the entire show for me…there’s no sense in this.

I know I’m repeating myself now but I can’t stress this enough, it destroyed the show ‘cause it ruined the entire purpose of the story. Looking back now nothing about JJ’s story was worth the pain and suffering he went through and looking forward what’s there to say anymore? They’re gonna go hunt for this crown and get rich? Ok, wasn’t the whole moral of the story about the real treasure being their found family?

I loved this show since April 2020 and I would’ve gladly watched it for YEARS AND YEARS ON, but wow I would’ve rather seen it end in the trilogy or with this season with a different ending, leaving a good memory.

I’m not gonna lie…I knew this was gonna happen, I tried to not trust the rumors and I tried to think rationally but when Rudy and the producer unfollowed each other, when Rudy didn’t share anything about S5, when in part the whole story was building around the Pouges being mad at JJ and not saying “I love you back” I kinda figured AND STILL I was hoping to be wrong and I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised ‘cause I knew how bitter it would’ve left me.

And I mean it, I’m heartbroken AND MAD. The story totally ruined.

And can I get this straight, everyone is already jumping on Rudy’s ass ‘cause yeah let’s be real, he probably was done with the show and and all that jazz and it’s not cool at all, but IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME…actors ask to leave shows all the time and in the end it’s still the writers call to decide how to make it happen, there are tons of different ways to write a character off ESPECIALLY A CHARACTER LIKE JJ, who always had that element of spontaneous take outs and with the blank paga that they had with the “surf trip”. There’s only ONE season left, I don’t think that Rudy would’ve refused if asked “hey of we can work around this, how about 5 minutes of screen time in the final episode?”…an open ending for his character that left the audience wonder “what’s JJ doing around the world?” “Where did he go?” would’ve been much more dignified for his story. In the end if they put a definitive ending to him and it was THEIR decision.

I’m actually devastated and I know it sounds exaggerated but this to me has also ruined the entire Jiara community as well…like what do we have left?

There was still so much they had left to their own story, KIARA’S STORY!! What was the point for her to fight so hard for him? to lose everything for him and get what in the end? TO HAVE HER WHOLE STORY REVOLVE AROUND HIM (‘cause that’s exactly what they did this season)? What a waste.

And it makes me incredibly sad ‘cause it has ruined all my excitement towards this part of the fandom that we built a community around…waht do we do with Jiara now? There was still so much I wanted to write for them in fictions and wanted to read from others but this has for the moment completely ruined my motivation to write for them and to even read their ff, knowing their story in canon ended and ended tragically, there’s nothing for their future. This is what I find so sad, there was left NOTHING to the imagination, nothing to let us wonder about their future.

This story ended today and I’ll never be able to look at it the same IF I’LL look at it. What’s the point of a story moving forward if the thing people were rooting for is gone? What are we rooting for if the Pogues are dead and the family is done? ‘Cause yeah, JJ was the core of the Pogues.

I find hard to believe that season 1 and 2 are the same show from season 3 and 4. The writing killed the show for good.

I hope WITH ALL MY HEART that I’ll be able to find back my excitement for my favorite show once again and that I’ll still be able to enjoy Jiara’s content again but I really find it impossible now.

I would’ve never thought that OBX, that show I watched in 2020 with genuine admiration for its story and way of portraying it could’ve been ruined like this. 💔

[nylibrty]

you're an angel and im blessed! ⸝ ⸝ ⸝ b.stewart

「pairing」 breanna stewart x reader

「summary」 the small ways stewie shows her love for you.

「cw」 n/a fluff

「notes」 cutie soft stewie for the heart. hope this can cheer up some peoples day <3

opening the front door of your apartment to see flowers and an array of gifts sitting on your kitchen counter was not the sight you were expecting when you got home tonight. confused, you approached the counter, seeing your favorite flowers sitting in a pretty vase filled with water. a small smile sat on your face when you saw the note tucked perfectly in the middle of the bouquet of flowers. you plucked it out of the flowers and read it.

to my lover,

hi baby! got you some stuff because i am so proud of you, proud of you for being you, proud of you for how strong you are, and proud of you for putting up with me for so long.

and in very breanna fashion, a shitty drawing of an emoji was drawn next to her sentence before continuing the next one. you rolled your eyes and let out a small giggle at it before continuing.

i love you so much, enjoy your gifts and text me when you read this.

love, bre.

you set the note down and moved on to the array of poorly wrapped boxes on your counter, another breanna quirk that always made you smile.

as you opened the different gifts, you fell more and more in love with breanna. she always knew how to make you smile, and always showed her love in the nicest most thoughtful ways.

she always gave you the first bites of her food, without fail every time.

"eat." she would say, pointing the fork with food on it towards your mouth.

you would always gladly take it, appreciating the small gesture. taking the food into your mouth and telling her if it was good or not, no matter what you said, she still scarfed down the entire plate. if you did say it was good, she would always give you more bites, even if you never asked.

she always gave you her jacket, even if she secretly knew that you 'forgot' your jacket on purpose, an excuse to wear hers.

"bre, im cold." you pouted, giving her the puppy dog eyes.

"i told you to bring your jacket, babe." she rolled her eyes as she shrugged her jacket off, giving it to you.

you knew she wasn't actually mad by any means, just teasing you because she did tell you to bring your jacket, every time. but that didn't stop her from giving up her jacket the second you complained.

no matter what it was or when it was, breanna always found small ways to show her love for you.

one of the many things you loved about the girl.

[coichii]

Hiii<33

Plsplspls im begging for a angsty Chan comfort fic <333

Ur writing is just incredible and kdxjbdkd

I KNOW YOU - CHAN

pairing - bf!bangchan ♥︎ fem!reader

genre: angst & comfort (my speciality hee hee hee)

word count: 1.1k

warnings: slight descriptions of panic attacks, self deprivating talk, body image talk, and negativity

summary: the relationship had gone public, and you thought it was going well. well… it was until the people you hold dearest to your heart started talking shit about you.

—

Your eyes are irritated and bloodshot, but you can’t stop staring at the text messages on your phone.

They hurt to look at, but you can’t pull away.

There layed a collection of text messages that one of your “friends” had sent to you. The message are vile, disgusting things your other friends had said about you behind your back when you and Chan went public not to long ago.

There was a lot of discussion regarding going public, but he finally got the feedback he needed from his company for the both of you to go public, and you wanted it more than anything.

There was nothing more you wanted than to be able to show to the world how you’ve bagged the most amazing and handsome man to exist, but you knew there would be harsh feedback.

You just didn’t expect it to come from some of the people you hold the closest to your heart.

To say they were cruel would be an understatement. The messages said horrible things about your body, personality, and a man like him would ever love someone like you.

It stung, and you wished it didn’t. A part of you wanted to belive they were just being jealous, mad that they couldn’t be with somebody like him.

But a part of you also knew that he was an amazing boyfriend, producer, leader, and so so much more, and that made you believe a mediocre woman like you could never be for him. How could you.

It had been a few days since your friend had sent these to you, and you hadn’t been able to face chan pretty much the entire time except for a few short and dry texts here and there.

You knew if you spilt anything to him, he would be livid. Not at you of course, but to anyone who had told you that you were anything but perfect, and you didn’t want to give him another burden; he already had the media on his ass for the same reasons.

Just as you were getting even deeper in your thoughts, a message pops up on your phone, ironically being a message from him.

—

new message from : channie🖤

channie🖤 : I’m coming over.

channie🖤 : I’m worried about you.

—

Shit, Shit, Shit !!

You looked a mess.

To be honest, your room looked an absolute disaster, and you hadn’t showered in a day. The thought of him seeing you like this was downright embarrassing, but you know nothing you say would get him to turn around. When he feels as if something’s wrong with you, there’s nothing that could make him not do whatever he could to make it better.

So you’re not shocked when the tears start to pour down your face as you hear the sound of keys jingling and Chan stepping in, immediately walking towards your bedroom where he knew you’d be.

“Oh. Come here, my love.” And he’s walking over to you and grabbing hold of your body, rocking you back and further in his tight grasp as you cry harder.

His embrace only coaxes the tears farther, his presence reminding you of how you’re not deserving of his comfort. Not deserving of his love.

“Hey, baby. You gotta breathe with me, okay?” He whispers when he notices your breathing becoming uneven. It’s a tell-tale sign you’re about to slip off the edge.

“It’s easy okay? I’ve got you. One breath in..” he starts, waiting for you to follow his instructions.

Ever so slightly, you take a deep, shaky breath in, earning a soft smile of satisfaction from Chan.

“Ok, now out.. there you go, baby. You’re doing so good.” He says, watching you follow his steps. “Just a couple more, okay?”

Slowly but surely, your breath evens out. The burning, painful feeling in your lungs is soon replaced by a soft and light feeling, getting rid of the tension you once felt.

That’s when it hits you.

Chan is here. Your boyfriend who had been so busy for the last few days came to see you because he knew something was wrong. He came for you.

“We don’t have to talk right now, but if you want to, please let me know what’s been happening, baby. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

You sigh heavily, the want to be comforted overshadowing the need to keep him hidden from your personal burdens. You want his help, so you’re not shocked when you find the words rumbling from outside fr of your mouth.

“I-I I’m sorry. I thought that m-most people would be supportive of us. B-But um.. some of m-my closest friends said something things about it and I-I can’t help but feel like you d-deserve someone better?” You say, and you can see the way his gaze softens with hurt.

“I just.. don’t feel good enough for you. I-I mean you’re perfect. You’re an amazing producer, friend, leader, and an even better person. What am I? I- I don’t deserve you.” You finish, and you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you turn away, not wanting to look in his eyes any longer. But he doesn’t let you, turning your head towards his and making you look him in his eyes.

“Listen here baby. I have no idea what they said to you, but none of it’s true. You’re perfect for me. You’re the reason I am the way I am. The thing about me being an amazing producer? It’s because I have you to inspire me. An amazing friend? Because you always guide me to be the way I am. Leader? Because I have you to lead me. And person? Because I have you with me and you make me complete. I know you, my love. And knowing you is the best choice I ever made.”

The way his eyes shine with both unshed tears and love has the words he said to you soaking in. You thought it would be hard to believe him, thinking that nothing could save you from the deep pit you had found yourself in.

But he saved you, pulled you right out and vowed to never let go again. You can believe it, and you will.

So you give him a slow, daunting kiss. It shows and reciprocates the love that words can’t.

It shows that no matter how hateful others can be, he knows you. And you’re here to believe it.

back to masterlist

[cailinsblog]

Home for the Holidays-

nico hischier x reader

No warnings are needed for this story! It's a sweet, heartwarming romance with no mature or intense content. Just a cozy, feel-good holiday vibe!

Snow was softly falling outside Nico’s window, covering the world in a shimmering blanket of white. Christmas break was here, but despite the festivity, Nico couldn’t help feeling a bit homesick. He missed the snowy Alps, the warmth of his family’s home, and the comforting smell of his mom’s cooking. It was hard not being in Switzerland for the holidays.

But there was one silver lining this season—his next-door neighbor, Y/N. She had become his close friend since he moved into the building. They shared inside jokes, late-night chats, and cups of coffee on cold mornings. He’d developed a soft spot for her, though he tried his best to hide it, not wanting to risk ruining their friendship.

One chilly December morning, Y/N noticed Nico looking especially down. She had picked up on his longing for home, even if he hadn’t explicitly said it. So, determined to bring a bit of comfort his way, she decided to bake him something special. Though Y/N wasn’t Swiss, she loved learning about different cultures, and after some research, she settled on making Lussekatter—Swedish saffron buns. With their golden color and delicate taste, she hoped they might cheer him up.

Later that afternoon, she knocked on his door, a small tray of freshly baked buns in hand. Nico opened the door, surprised to see her standing there with a shy smile and the sweet-smelling treats.

“Hey,” she said softly. “I know you’re missing home, so I made you these. They’re not exactly Swiss, but I thought they might help a little.”

Nico’s eyes softened, touched by her thoughtfulness. He took a bun, tasting the warm, fluffy pastry, savoring the delicate hint of saffron. “Thank you, Y/N. This… means a lot to me,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. He looked at her, feeling his heart swell, but he held back, unsure if she felt the same way.

Y/N, on the other hand, had butterflies in her stomach just being around him. She’d liked Nico for a while now but convinced herself he only saw her as a friend. Seeing him smile, though, made her heart flutter with hope.

The next day, Nico knocked on her door with a surprise of his own. “Hey, so I was thinking—how about I repay you for those amazing buns?” he said, holding out two tickets to a Devils game. “I’d love for you to come.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, Nico, you don’t have to…”

“I insist,” he replied, grinning. “Besides, it wouldn’t be the same without my favorite fan there.”

Blushing, she accepted, and Nico handed her a Devils jersey with his number and name on the back. She slipped it on, and his eyes lit up, seeing her in his colors. “It suits you,” he said softly, and she felt a thrill at the way his gaze lingered on her.

At the game that night, Y/N cheered Nico on, her heart pounding every time he took the ice. It was exhilarating, watching him play with such skill and focus. Late in the third period, the score was tied. Nico skated towards the net, effortlessly maneuvering past the defense and flicked his wrist, sending the puck soaring into the top corner. Goal!

He skated to the boards, looking up to where she was seated, and pointed at her, a bright, triumphant grin lighting up his face. Her breath caught as their eyes met, and her cheeks flushed. She couldn’t believe he’d just done that in front of the entire stadium.

After the game, Nico found her waiting outside the locker room, still buzzing with excitement. “You were amazing, Nico!” she said, pulling him into a hug, her face bright with pride.

He held her close, savoring the warmth of her embrace. “Thanks to you,” he murmured, pulling back slightly to look at her.

Their gazes locked, and for a moment, the world fell away. Nico’s voice was soft as he finally spoke up, gathering the courage he’d been holding back. “Y/N, I… I’ve liked you for a long time. I just didn’t know if you felt the same.”

Y/N’s face lit up, her heart racing as she realized she wasn’t the only one. “I’ve liked you too, Nico,” she admitted, a shy smile spreading across her face. “I just thought you saw me as a friend.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I could never just be friends with you.” Then, as if the universe were giving them permission, he leaned in and kissed her, his lips warm and soft against hers.

They broke apart, grinning at each other, feeling like they were on top of the world. This Christmas break, Nico might have been far from home, but he realized he was exactly where he wanted to be—right there with Y/N.

Reblog and comment

[milykins]

Sunshine

This is based on an AU where the turtles eventually did decide to take Chief Vincent's advice and go public. This also ties into my headcanon where they all have jobs and own their own businesses. This particular scene was actually from an RP with the lovely @danceingfae it was just begging to be written.

Michelangelo × female reader

No warnings - just Mikey being a sweetheart when his girlfriend is feeling insecure.

Aged up characters of course

It’s no secret that ever since the turtles had decided to come out of hiding and join common society that Mikey had become something of a celebrity. He attended parties and charity events. Hosted his own events at his comic book shops and flirted and met up with girls from time to time. This was his lifestyle for a while. He’d initially thought it was the best thing ever. He got to have his fun, finally have the life he’d dreamed of, meeting girls, having relationships, one-night-stands, whatever he liked.

This all changed when he met you, of course. He’d had a couple failed relationships under his belt that hadn’t lasted long. One crazy girl had cornered him in his shop after hours, stripped off all her clothes, and begged him to put a baby in her. That was kind of the turning point where he realized that maybe being a celebrity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Meeting you and falling in love with you brought the realization that this was all he needed and all he’d ever wanted.

He still had fans, of course, still had girls coming up in restaurants and coffee shops asking for a picture and his autograph, but it had slowed down considerably after the internet had found out he was taken. Mikey hadn’t minded that at all. It gave him more space to breathe and more time to spend spoiling and loving on his girlfriend.

On this particular day he’d taken you to a Panera Bread. He knew you were craving their signature broccoli soup in a bread bowl combo and had decided to treat you to lunch.

The two of you had been chatting, and you had been just about to steal one of his muffin tops when a gaggle of teen and older girls rushed their table asking for their usual pictures and autographs. Mikey was happy to oblige but did tell them to make it quick because he was having lunch with his girl, sending a flirty wink your way.

You blushed, giggling softly. He always made a point of making you feel special in situations like these.

One girl in particular wasn’t satisfied with just a picture and an autograph. She’d been giving you the side-eye during the entire interaction and blatantly slipped him her number right in front of you.

Now, this did sometimes happen, but Mikey was always quick to rebuff it. As the girl turned to leave, he had gotten up from the table to follow her.

Initially, the girl looked pleased, but her expression quickly turned sour when she found he was handing it back to her.

Mikey was unendingly kind about it. “Hey, thanks, but I’ve already found someone who has my heart. Here’s your number. You should save it for the right guy for you.”

Her face reddened in embarrassment as she snatched the number from him. Anger bubbling into rage she decided to be nasty. “You’re kidding, right? That’s your girlfriend?”

The unkind words were heard by everyone, especially you. You shrank in your seat, wishing you could disappear and wanted to forget about eating altogether and run.

Your boyfriend is stunned a moment at the venomous words but he is ever the gentleman as he answers. “Yes, she is my girlfriend, and I’m very proud that she chooses to be with me. Have a good day.”

Tears were threatening to spill over when he came to collect you, taking you out of the restaurant for a breather. “I am so sorry…” He softly spoke as you both sat on a bench nearby.

The words still stung as you clung to his orange hoodie and buried your face in his chest. You couldn't help but cry softly into him, feeling ugly and stupid. It seemed he knew exactly what to do to counter this, and it didn’t take long for you to realize you were being rocked. Mikey was singing to you.

“You are my sunshine… my only sunshine…”

The soft singing broke you out of your reverie as you wiped your eyes while simultaneously craning your neck to look at him.

Mikey actually was pretty good at singing, his voice was smooth, melodic and comforting as he continued.

“You make me happy… when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”

A shaky breath is exhaled as tears threatened to overtake you once again.

“You okay, babycakes?” He whispered, caressing your face.

You answered, “Yes…” but it doesn’t sound at all convincing and he knows it. You can see him quietly asking you to be honest with him and find yourself confessing how you really feel. “I was just… feeling like I’m not… not good enough…”

Mikey calmly tucks your hair behind your ears so he can see your face. “Tell me why you feel that way.”

You’re unable to stop these feelings of shame and insecurity as you get all choked up again. “Why me? You… you could have anyone you want… but you chose me, why?”

His response is automatic like he’d been waiting for you to ask him this.

“Babe… you’re not just anyone. You’re mine. You’re all I want, and I think about you, like, all the time. Any other girl pales in comparison to you. Heck, they could be a playboy pinup, and I still would pick you. You are all I need.”

You can’t help but giggle as more tears spring to your eyes, the good kind this time and you have to kiss him because if you don’t in this moment, you’ll feel like you regret it.

The kiss is slow, sweet and passionate and you parted breathlessly, gazing at each other.

“I love you…” The confession catches him by surprise because neither of you had been the first to say it… until now.

Now, it’s Mikey’s turn to feel emotional. His voice is quiet and a little unsure as he asks for confirmation. “You love me?”

“Yes.” You answered without hesitation. “I love you, Michelangelo.”

Strong arms banded around you as he kissed you with even more fervor, before pulling back just as suddenly. “I love you too!” He’d been so caught up with kissing you that he’d forgotten to say it back.

You giggled and kissed his beak. “Well, I’m glad we got that out of the way, all it took was… a crazy fan.” She can’t help but laugh.

He laughed, too. “Just know, babe, that I’m proud to be with you, I’ll shout it from the rooftops if I have to… want me to? I’ll do it right now!” his smile and enthusiasm are infectious, and you are giggling as you shake your head.

“This is enough, I’m just glad you’re with me.” You had just snuggled into his embrace again when your stomach growled, reminding you both you still hadn’t eaten.

Mikey kissed your nose and stood, bringing you to your feet. “Let’s finish our lunch, babe.”

“That sounds perfect.”

From that moment on, nothing could shake your confidence in your relationship with Mikey. Nothing. He was there to stay, and so were you.

The End

@danceingfae @thelaundrybitch @iridescentflamingo @redsrooftopprincess @ninnosaurus @the-cauldron-witch @thepinkpanther83 @avery73 @adebauchedsloth @sophiacloud28 @definitely-canon @scholastic-dragon

[beanarie]

here's another scene for the fic i posted a day or two ago. alternate title: rip philip buckley.

the messenger part two

"I don't want to go," Evan said.

Tommy glanced up from the flight listings on his tablet. Since finishing his delayed shower (alone), Evan had perched on the far end of the bed with his back turned. "All anyone there knew was a nineteen year-old who failed at everything. It- It was never home."

Tommy put the tablet aside. "Evan, I don't give a shit if you go or not." That was blunt even for him, bordering on cruel, but Evan gave a watery laugh. He heard what Tommy didn't say. You're the only thing I care about. Make the decision that's right for you.

Evan made a sad sound and crawled into Tommy's arms. "She's going to be so much," he grated out, his head against Tommy's chest. It wasn't comfortable. Evan ran warm as a baseline. Tonight he felt like he had a fever. "I don't think I can handle it. But I can't- I can't do that to Maddie. What kind of garbage person would make her deal with that alone?"

Tommy ran his fingers through Evan's damp hair. "Maddie won't be alone." Her husband was literally one of the best people Tommy had ever met. Howie had grabbed her hands the instant she and Evan had separated, and hadn't let go of her the entire time. He'd still been holding on when they'd left, Evan bringing up the rear toting a sleeping Jee-Yun.

"Not the same," Evan said, which was true, but Tommy didn't care, not right then.

Tommy looked over at his buzzing phone. "Listen-"

Evan didn't shake. He vibrated, a low level hum throughout his body. "Just let me pretend for a minute that we're not going."

"Okay."

One hand made a loose fist, gathering the fabric of Tommy's shirt at the small of his back. "We're gonna stay here on the other side of the country while they bury my dad. I won't have to hear my mom crying like her heart is in worse shape than his was. No one will tell me I'm a bad son who never came to visit."

Tommy rested his chin on the top of Evan's head. An angle his neck didn't enjoy, but it was worth it. "If anyone so much as thinks that in your direction, I will punch them in the throat."

Evan ran his fingers down Tommy's forearm. "They didn't even tell us he was having surgery."

"Would it have helped?" Tommy asked in all sincerity. They'd both witnessed death numerous times. Was it better when loved ones could see the loss coming? Not always.

"I don't know," Evan admitted. "But things were- they were better, you know? We talked on purpose sometimes and it went fine. I don't understand why they didn't at least tell Maddie."

"Do you think she'll try to throw it in your face at some point?"

Evan flinched, proving Tommy's guess had hit its mark. "God, I- I hate thinking of her that way. She's my mom."

"Motherhood doesn't come with emotional regulation, unfortunately."

"She was better," Evan said again. He exhaled loudly. "Maybe it- it won't be so bad."

"Maybe. I'm here regardless."

After a moment of silence, Evan lifted himself up with a hand on either side of Tommy's hips. They kissed quietly, and he laid his forehead on Tommy's shoulder. "What did I do," he asked, almost to himself. "What did I do to deserve you?"

If pressed, Tommy could rattle off a list. But Evan didn't need to hear about his willingness to set himself on fire for someone he loved, or about how he could see in a glance that Tommy was having a bad day, about how quickly he'd learned what Tommy needed at times like those. "You were you. That's all you ever needed to be."

[vse-kar-vem]

ok so my pet theory about souvenir pop is that bluza & stephanie are both about bojan's relationship with the same character, just at different points in their relationship-- the first song in a moment of passion, and the second in retrospect, with a much more cynical tone. (essay below..)

both songs tell the story of a whirlwind romance, bojan and 'stephanie' becoming instantly taken with each other in a "lightning strike." obvious narritive similarities aside, bojan's past impulsivity and hopeless romanticism shine through in stephanie, as he reminisces that he knew "right from the start." within literally the first 3 lines of bluza, bojan proclaims his devotion to stephanie as his "muse," declaring dramatically "i think i've fallen in love with you." the depth of his emotion ("a stroke or a racing heart") is similarly elaborated on back in stephanie-- it is entirely possible that both occasions of bojan falling head over heels for someone at a gathering in a short amount of time are, in fact, the SAME event.

HERE IS WHERE THE SPECULATION COMES IN. bluza ends, "if the sun rises, i'll be alone," the exact reason for his abandonment left ambiguous. this question is answered in stephanie, as time finally passes-- "the morning came." despite bojan's relentless desperation to stay with stephanie, he is given a reality check, the blunt statement contrasting his emotive laments of the night before. ("the morning" could also be interpreted as the morning after stephanie's friend threw up.. but that's not fun :(.) on that day, she texts him "a photo of a plane"-- a perfect explanation for her absence and bojan's despair in bluza!!!

i believe what bojan so feared in bluza (the growing distance between) dooms their relationship. when they were in the throes of romance, stephanie and bojan "passed kilometers between (them) in a single heartbeat." these metaphorical kilometers materialise into existance by the time of stephanie (song), the titular character now living "about a thousand miles away." there's a sense of irony in that distance, which before had seemed no obstacle (even, in a way, proof of their love) is now a fundamental, bitter fact about stephanie and bojan, their relationship having withered away at least in part due to it.

stephanie ends as bojan repeatedly laments, "love ain't built for people like me." like him, how? one questions. what about him does he believe is so incompatible with the ideas of "love" and "happiness"? while there are hints in stephanie itself, in my opinion, his percieved problem can largely be deciphered in bluza-- "living in yesterday." in both songs, bojan demonstrates a stubborn refusal to look towards the future, to adapt to problems-- and, by proxy, a stubborn refusal to move on from stephanie (or move on in general). in stephanie (song), he copes by drinking away his sorrows. in bluza, while sober, we are offered a more in depth insight into bojan's thought process-- with stephanie, he lived in denial. he pleads desperately, "don't turn the lights on yet," for "just one more moment," completely refusing to engage with the future and what it hold for him and stephanie's relationship. in bluza, bojan deals with changes by simply ignoring what happens after, stephanie's mere departure seeming like a psychological breakup to him. this defeatist attitude after she leaves (more making shit up now) leads to the tragic collapse of their relationship, eventually culminating in stephanie (song), as he keeps "downing drinks to drown tomorrow, and live in yesterday."

ultimately, bluza and stephanie are used to explore the the cycle of bojan's unhealthy coping mechanisms and inability to adapt to change through two different perspectives, then and now. his persisting love for stephanie between the songs acts a through line as we begin to understand his behaviour and thoughts in relation to her.

[fishylikeakoi]

I think I fell in love with a vigilante - Jason Todd x Reader

First time trying in this format, let’s see if I’m still kicking lol.  

I (GN23) think I'm in love with one of the vigilantes in my city and this makes everything more complicated for the simple fact that he makes my job 10 times more difficult, being a nurse where I live is not an easy task. The vigilante (M23) in question isn’t someone accessible on a daily basis and is often seen as deadly by the criminals I end up looking after, I don't blame them, if I were one of them I would also die of fear just seeing the silhouette in the shadows. We met when he was almost unconscious and having a lot of difficulty getting from one ledge to another, landing disastrously on my balcony and casually covered in blood as if he had plunged into a river, I gathered all the strength in my body at the time and took courage to bring it inside my cramped apartment and, apparently, against the man's wishes.

After tending to his wounds properly and giving him some food, he disappeared through my balcony door and after that, we unconsciously created a routine by the way he returned daily and sometimes approached me on the street during my walk home, claiming that it was 'dangerous for me to walk alone through the city streets at such a late hour'.  - “The window is open, be careful with these shits.” He said, already entering through the window.

The hospital also benefited from this secret interaction, receiving large donations of equipment and money in the name of the security guard, now the criminals were “cataloged” by blood type and even some organs that were functioning for donations and I remember well having commented on this problem with him on one of our nights eating together. He is someone very kind despite his appearance and that is what caught my attention the most from the first day, from the way he makes sure my entire apartment is safe to putting his number as an emergency contact on my cell phone, fighting with me for not eating right and staying silent when I talk about his completely healthy habits like staying awake for more than 72 hours at a time.

He, with all the certainty in the world, must know who I am even though he didn't ask anything, after all he buys my forgiveness through things that interest me, homemade food and motorcycle rides until the wee hours of the morning even though he knows that I would forgive him easily, he insists on do this. I, on the other hand, don't question much about his life, even though the scars tell me it's painful and I probably won't like hearing the end of it. Every time I remember him my heart beats faster and my stomach stops working and my hands itch to touch his, to cover his helmet in kiss marks and then leave even more marks beneath it.

Honestly, I feel like a teenager confessing here, but my friend from work S (F19) insisted on writing and seeing what you think I should do, even though I knew the answers would be obvious at this point in the tournament. I don't know whether to update as I make some progress in our relationship (?) or pretend to have dementia if nothing works out, but one thing is certain; 

If he ever sees this, know that I won't try to deny it anymore, Red Hood.

[kitkat13001]

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚜

>> tomura shigaraki x reader

>> comfort, this is entirely self indulgent, i have nothing to say. tomu calls reader “dollface” and “honey”, probably very out of character tomura but idgaf im going thru it and i needed him to comfort me (hope it comforts you too <3) // (dividers by @/anitalenia)

you’re mid-breakdown when tomura comes knocking at your window. 

you jump at the rap of his knuckles against the glass, your skin prickling and hair standing on end as you wipe your face. you pray your cheeks aren’t too blotchy, your eyes aren’t too red, thankful for the dimness of your apartment illuminated only by fairy lights and decorative lamp. 

“hey,” you say, opening the window and stepping back to let him clamber through. you try to keep your voice steady, but it’s futile. tomura’s nothing if not observant. 

“what’s wrong, dollface?” 

the way he’s frowning at you tugs at your heart and you feel the tears well up in your eyes again. he takes your face in gentle hands (sans pinky, of course) and it’s too much—you fully burst into tears. 

he shushes you softly, pulling you in close. his arms are tight, secure around your body. he may be a villain, but you’ve never felt more safe than when you’re wrapped up in his embrace. 

it takes a while for you to calm down. you’re gulping for air through the sobs, approaching hysteria, but the shame bubbling up in your stomach over the emotions is calmed by tomura’s quiet whispers in your ear. 

you don’t know how long you stay wrapped up in his arms, until you’ve cried yourself out. 

“sorry,” you sniffle as you pull away, wiping furiously at your face once you regain your bearings. “you don’t want to hear about my stupid problems.”

“actually, i kinda do,” he admits, taking your hands to pull you closer. “they’re a lot more digestible than my problems, probably. who knows, maybe i can even help you.”

“thanks, tomu. but i don’t think these are problems you can just dust and move on from.”

“hm. even if that is true, i’m sure talking about will help at least a little, huh?”

he tilts your chin up with his finger, unusually soft look in his eyes.

“so what’s the matter, honey?”

it all comes out. every little thing that’s been poking you between the ribs for as long as you can remember the last couple days, weeks, months. that one time you said that thing in middle school, last week when you tripped and dropped your favorite drink, how it’s been a minute since you called your mother, the way you’re hungry and nothing sounds good, how it seems like the world is going to shit.  

it’s kind of ridiculous to hear it all out loud, but tomura was right. it’s like a weight off your chest just to say it, to be able to breathe again. 

you’re flushed and breathless once it’s all out. you’re sitting on the couch now, your hands in tomura’s. you’re not quite sure when you got there. 

your shoulders sag with the relief of it all, body caving against his. 

“you feel better?” he asks, giving you a gentle nudge. 

“a little,” you admit, allowing yourself to lean back until you’re laying in his lap. your eyes flutter shut with the feeling of his fingers softly twirling a strand of your hair. 

“just…get some rest now, okay? ‘m not going anywhere.”

as promised, completely self indulgent coping fic :) it’s been a day. hiding under the covers from the horrors of the world. get up again tmr and do it all again bc life moves onnnn 🫶🤞 stay safe and don’t lose hope. you are loved!

- 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢 !

[not-poignant]

20. Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.

A very close friend of mine was moving away from the state, and I was really cut up about it. I'd previously been seeing him and Glen at least weekly for many years. We watched movie premieres together, we went to Japanese festivals together, we went to a regular cafe together, we watched TV together, I cooked us all meals together.

On that final day, we had planned a lot of things but we all knew my energy levels might not be up for it.

In the morning, we all went out for dim sum, and talked about our dreams and hopes, and how much we wanted the best for our friend (this person inspired Kadek, incidentally). We had our favourite dim sum dishes, and laughed together, and lightly made fun of each other (taking the piss in a very Australian way) and then afterwards I realised I'd have to dip and get some sleep to recover some energy for the rest of the day.

I was really scared I wouldn't recover, because I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been able to do three big things in one day, on one hand, in the last ten years.

I slept for many hours, and we rendezvoused at Kings Park, which is gorgeous, and it was a beautiful day. Lightly cloudy, breezy, cool but just enough that you'd warm up nicely in the sun. We all sat down on the grass and stared at the perfect panorama of Perth city and took photos, and made the most of it.

We drove back to our favourite cafe that we'd been haunting for a long time, had our favourite meals. As usual, he took forever to decide on a menu he'd seen over 100 times, and I knew what I was getting before I even got there. We reminisced, we talked about how good our friend was going to do after he moved, we made sure to let him know we loved him and we were proud of him and would always be there for him.

After that, we came back here. I was truly shattered. My body was in pain. My friend knew that I'd spent up all the reserves and all of the "savings" and when he inquired about it, I told him that he was worth a million days like this, and he is.

I sat on the couch, barely verbal, basking in a strange warmth I'd never felt before. It was like being in the sun at Kings Park, but somehow warmer. And as I experienced it for longer, I came to reflect on its newness and how strange and nice it was. It wasn't the feeling of being in love. It wasn't the feeling of just happiness. It was some new thing, completely unfamiliar to me.

It was contentment. Something I'd never felt before. It was a bittersweet contentment, because he was leaving, because I knew what it meant about my entire life up until that point that I'd never felt it, not even in my childhood. Not even for five minutes.

It lasted about 20 minutes, it was some golden thing, and I've only felt it about one more minute since.

I live my life hoping I'll get to feel that again, and yeah, I'd say that's a memory I hold very close to my heart.

--

From the soft asks meme

[bibioi]

Teach me!

[sakamoto days], taro sakamoto.

— i love aoi, but i love a man whose never felt a woman's touch before even more ♡

contains: nsfw + gender neutral + 2nd pov + dry humping.

no exact dom/sub nor top/bottom roles mentioned but (reader) does take a more leading role! 🦭 first post!! (i'll be like an absent father to my baby account)

Teach me? There's a slight twitch in his fingers as he tilts his head curiously.

An air of innocence fills the room as you softly smile at him - a soft blush filling his ears at that. He's very much aware of what you're suggesting, he's thought of it a few times (here and there, a lot of times).

You glance away from his eyes to reach for his hand. His palm heats up and he feels clammy all over.

"Do you want me to teach you?" You gently repeat your previous question.

What should he do in this situation? He can barely handle kissing you without exploding, how will he react to touching you!?

He wants to do it and so, he nods (very robotically might i add).

You stare back at him expectantly. Your fingers softly caress hand, both comforting him and sending him into a frenzy.

Right. He remembers. Words.

"I want to..." taro swallows thickly, "make you feel g-good..."

A teasing glint appears in your eyes, "you do?"

His breath hitches when you step closer to him, your eyes glancing to his lips. "Mhm."

His eyes flicker to the bed just a couple feet away. Worries eat him alive. What if he isn't good? And if he gets carried away? Will you like it or hate it? Should he have picked a more romantic setting for your honeymoon?

The wind howls knocking against the trembling windows as the hands holding his tighten their grip upon reading him.

"How about we take it slow, hm?" He gives another robotic nod. "We can both feel good."

Both of us?

...

Ah! Taro gasps at the new feelings.

He stares at you as if you were the sun, the stars and the moon. With hearts in his eyes, he struggles to see you through the blur of his tears but he fights through it.

It feels good. Feels so very good.

No one has ever touched him like this, made him feel this way. He's melts when you press your lips to his, pushing your tongue to meet his. You kiss him like it's the end of the world!

He loves it. He lives for it.

Taro tentatively raises his hips to meet yours, the stain (and strain) in his pants grow as a moan leaves your lips at the contact.

He grips onto the sheets for dear life. His entire body felt too, too, too hot. Is he going to pass out?

Help me God. He pants heavily into your lips, struggling to get out a single word.

No, not a god.

Only you can help him now.

"You're doing such a good job, taro." A whimper left his lips at the praise. He pulls away to press wet kisses under your jaw, sucking tenderly.

"Do-do you — hah! feel good..."

"So good!" You whine next to his ear. You hug his body closer, practically leaving no space in between the two of you.

He shivers and squirms as your hands yank at his white locks.

Taro bites his quivering lip, swallowing all his precious noises to hear you better. The panting, gasps, grunts, whimpers.

He's making you feel good.

The bed creaks under the weight of both of you as you order him to go faster. The thought of hurting you scares him, but the overwhelming feeling to please you wins, so, he obeys with a shaky nod.

He buries his head in the crook of your neck. He's making you feel good!!

A cry of pleasure is strangled out of his mouth when your hands pull at his hair, forcing him to face you. He catches your eyes through his tears and flushes a deep, dark red.

"Focus on me, okay?" He nods clumsily, never one to deny your requests.

How adorable ♡

...