#this is exactly me when trying to read time on my Ds/3ds or my dads car clock

[emnesoi]

FIFTY TO SIXTY THOUGHTS NOW

aaaa scary

ok i will comply but only because now this is a bit instead of just random

fuck i just knocked my phone over while i was taking off my headphones

i should take out the trash

tea is cool they should make more tea

oh right i was getting drunk i totally forgot and i have half a spiked drink at my desk

i wish my teddy bear would sit up well but the ds's between its legs mean it falls over a lot due to how the leg joints work

wow i have three ds's on this desk right now that's weird

my friend left her pocketknife over and i should really give it back to her

it's a really nice pocketknife but i dont wanna use someone else's pocketknife so i should ask her where she got it

fuck coming up with 60 thoughts is hard

i need to take more instant photographs i have one i took of a friend's tsukihi plush on the bulletin board over my desk

why did i say "friend" you know exactly who im talking about

is it weird that i have a bulletin board over my desk

theres a little shelf under that bulletin board and on it i have two 3d prints, one of a marker switch from myst and one that's a lithophane of the cover of the downward spiral by nine inch nails and i think it's interesting that despite the fact that i asked a friend to print the lithophane years before i got a 3d printer you could reasonably assume i printed both of them

wow that was a thought that took way too much time to expalin

theres a lot of guitar maintenance equipment at my desk which is weird cuz i typically do that stuff at my couch rather than here

jesus christ theres too much stuff on my desk

i dont even need this string winder cuz there's a better string winder literally right next to it

i think ive used that tuning pipe like once

theres also an ace ring right next to them and i think that's funny

when i bought this flashlight i was debating whether to get this pretty decent one or a really fancy expensive one and a friend said "get the expensive one and brag about it on r/flashlights" which immediately convinced me to get the pretty decent one

i also have a set of security screwdriver heads at my desk which my dad got for me and i remember him telling me that he went to the hardware store asking for security heads and they scoffed and went "if you could just buy those they wouldn't work" so he went home and bought two sets off the internet and i thought that was funny

i hope you're reading this in the tone of Jory in that one episode of the ten minute power hour where Arin sits him on his lap and painstakingly grills him about his favorite pokemon and it gets really awkward

wow that sounds really weird when i describe it like that

fuck im not even halfway done

if i had a nickel for every thought im gonna post here i would have $3 which isnt very much money

i got a humidifier recently because it's really dry in my room and im not used to anything in here moving besides me so i keep seeing the stream of fog fog out of the corner of my eye and going AH ! INTRUDER !

that's not a bespoke thought for this thread i posted that on a discord server earlier today does that still count

it's annoying how i have to turn off my vpn whenever i try to go on rateyourmusic because it thinks im trying to ddos them or something

i dont even rate my music i just go there to get an overview of what an artist's most liked albums are so i can get into them easier

that's why im getting into current 93 through sleep has his house rather than thunder perfect mind despite the fact that i think literally everyone except rym agrees that thunder perfect mind is better

though now that i look at it they're only 0.01 off so its not like that discrepancy is that weird

with all of the bonus tracks bandcamp has, thunder perfect mind is as long as swans' soundtracks for the blind and i think that's funny

long albums are cool and i should listen to more of them, some of my favorites that ive listened to recently can't fit on a cd

it's funny that "fitting on a cd" is my criterion for "long" when i havent been an active cd collector for quite a while, i guess that just kinda wormed its way into my brain

oh we're getting enough text in this post to make the editor lag that's scary i hope it'll be good for another 23 thoughts

hey 23 is the number of thoughts i had last time i commented on how many thoughts i needed to post

shit, no it wasn't, it was 26, i really should have checked

wow i hope this is interesting to read

how many words is this at this point i need to check

it's 875 as of that last thought not including bullet points, i think that's more than the number of words ive written for my actual writing in the past few weeks

since pages hold around 250 words that means you would need four pages (ceiling) to write as much as i had written by thought 41

will people understand what i mean when i say "ceiling" i hope so

i wonder how many words this will be when im done

i think i can estimate with that other word count

since 41 is roughly 2/3rds of 60, that means that the amount of words this will have at the end will be 875*1.5 which is 1312

holy shit that's the based number

i lied it's 1312.5 i just rounded it down so it would be the based number

wow it's REALLLLY starting to lag now i wonder if the text editor's unoptimizedness is exponential for some reason

at this point im in the 50s and you asked for 50-60 so i could reasonably stop here but i kind of already committed to 60 so i can't really

i wonder if this is what you expected when you sent this ask

probably not but i mean i don't know what else you could have expected, maybe just me brushing this off aloofly

i wish i had more money so i could buy more music

it's kind of weird that i buy music right like whenever i talk about this to people theyre like oh i just use spotify or youtube or whatever but im weird and neurotic and like owning things too much

it is so laggy now that sometimes ill make a typo and then correct it and then only see all of that happen like 10 seconds later

i wonder if it's weird that i can correct typos without actually seeing what i typed like i just Know

oh shit im nearing the end now i gotta make this count

i wonder what "making this count" means in this context like how would i make the final thought "epic" theyre just thoughts this has been a total stream of consciousness it's not really building to anything

kitty nyaaaaan

[theprivilegedshatlord-blog]

I am the friend known as “H” from CancerChaser blog in Chapter 6

I am here to corroborate what my friend said and provide my side of the story of this situation. Walhartonsclub (WC) told me about CancerChaser (CC) back in 2016 after the first incident where CC was wiling out on WC because of what seemed to a misunderstanding of affording a phone. I initially told WC to ignore him because he was not worth shit or at least is what I initially thought. From there he kept me informed about what CC did throughout.Now to go into when i was first referenced in the chronicles about CancerChaser. From what I knew at the time, CC asked WC to send emails over and over from phone to his email. Have no idea why would he need WC to do that. He could have used something like Imgur. Given that CC had a phone that was not a smartphone based on what I was told, it would probably be impossible. Of course trying to make simple suggestions to him like this is enough to make CC go into a hair-triggering temper tantrum, so there is no use to try to convince him to upgrade. It was 2016, being up to date shouldn’t be too hard, you can even get refurbished smartphones for a fraction of full retail price. My parents have the latest phones and they are older than CC by decades. Why did CC chose WC instead of other friends for these favors is beyond me. So he asked and asked and asked WC to send him these pics over and over. WC complied with generosity. WC likes to please his friends. He has pleased me multiple times. He also tries to be the best person he can be. Needless to say CC took advantage of him.So when it came time for CC return the favor, he was resistant initially. When he finally did start playing, he did until after half of the game was over. The game was Spring Breeze from Kirby’s Super Star on Super NIntendo. Did you know that Spring Breeze is a remake of the original Kirby’s Dream Land on Game Boy with a missing level and boss? So CC did not even bother finishing such a short abridged game. That betrayal was just foul play on CC’s end.

Then CC would later use WC’s insecurities to gain him back and asked for more favors. WC then approached me on rethinking the situation. I initially thought that he probably did not like the game and was bored. I made the suggestion to pick a game that has much less interaction. Like some touch screen DS or 3DS game. WC brought up Warioware Twisted Touched!, so I thought would be a good choice there. My reasoning is that CC probably has no real interest in video games. I have heard that he has play Super Mario Bros. 3 growing up. Which makes me realize that CC is a very casual non-gamer person.

Reading the situation in question at Chapter 5 reveals that CC had been simply holding the controller where the direction pad in the upper right corner and seemingly pressed no buttons which means he was faking interest and had no intention at all to return the favor. He really should have said that he had no interest in playing video games. He was lying to manipulate WC. Which comes to no surprise that CC refused to play Warioware Twisted Touched! when asked. He cannot play easy games. He cannot play very simple games. But he would lie about having an interest only for him to evade that with excuses. With friends like these who needs bullies?

The next time I was involved was when WC was having his panic attack resulting from personal issues that are stated in Chapter 6. I have received certain pictures that hinted that he was contemplating suicide. Being under vacation time from my job, I decided to actually come see WC to check up on him myself. When I saw him, he was sitting on a couch. When he saw me he was excited to see me I asked if he took any of the pills or hurt himself, he told me that he gave himself more time to think about it. Perhaps to think about the people that love him.

He told me about the situation that led up to the panic attack. Best way to describe what was happening without revealing confidential information is that someone was very sick and emotions erupted. I had told him that he needs more time to hang out with friends. We not only did Spring Breeze in full, but also Meta Knight’s Revenge, Dyna Blade, and Great Cave Offensive as well. Games in that collection that are larger than Spring Breeze. We did not get to do Milky Way Wishes that day, but we did eventually got to do it at another time. We also played Brawl Brothers, all I remember is that there was a code to play the Japanese version and we did that and completed the game. It was short at 5 levels long. We also played Events in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. We did not clear all of the event, only some but we did have fun.

At Applebees we discussed the situation further. There I learned that he had sent the same pics to other friends as well which made me concerned. I thought that WC was going to get a wellness check on him or worse be committed to a mental ward for days. I only knew one recipient among the 7 besides myself (I never met CC in person). The person I knew is a mutual friend. The mutual friend never really got to see the messages, so he was unaware (it reached an old phone and when he got a new one, the messages were deleted). The mutual was relieved to know that WC was okay and felt better. And yes the mutual is informed of CC and his bullshit antics; I can confirm that he heavily resents CC, as I do.

So I had to get WC to do damage control to avoid being institutionalized. As information like this can scare people and be irrational. We needed for cooler heads to prevail. So WC told everyone that it was for attention. So WC can still run his panel at a upcoming convention and not be stuck that weekend in a mental hospital. He really needed to avoid the ruining of plans like that.

After all, my cousin once told me about the one time she told exactly one person that she felt suicidal because an aunt of hers  being diagnosed of cancer (from her dad’ side, I’m related through our moms being sisters). Telling her best friend was enough for the BF to call the ambulance and my cousin had to stay in a mental ward for 16 days!

CC’s response was very callous. As far as I know, he never asked what was going on around that time. He just stayed silent and only responded with that shitty “I knew it” bullshit when he received a fucking coverup. WC was crying for help and I answered the call. I live 2 hours away and this asshat lives minutes away in walking speed, yet gives radio silence to someone he calls himself a friend to, is mere blocks away, while I invest in gas and mileage to make sure WC is okay. Some friend CC is. For someone who claims to be “a good friend” in his hate mail; he sure shows no effort in even trying to check up on him. Real piece of scum CC is.

I later go to see the panel and I liked it. Which comes to no surprise in my perspective. The next day I played Streets of Rage 1 with WC. The only other thing I remember is that there was some dude I met who was in a wheelchair because he broke his foot days before.

Now for my thoughts about CancerChaser and his narcissism.

Walhartonsclub would later work for New York Comic-Con and buy the Super NES Classic. Which meant for the later part of September and early October he would be very busy. He also was seeking for connections, so there would not be any room for free time. CancerChaser did not give a shit about the adult responsibilities WC had to do. And despite CC being older than WC, CC would not take no for an answer and start guilt tripping WC. Having enough of CC’s scummy actions, WC finally cut ties. This was met with harassment and hatemail. Which truly shows CC’s irredeemable character in full form.

CC is a fucking disgrace to everything it means to being gay. If I was gay, I would rather live in a fucking fraternity of homophobic bullies that to ever have anything to do with CC. This old man never seemed to learn a single thing about accountability or responsibility. How dare does he interfere with a job? What gives him the right to call his target for the simple reason to give expletives to him? And his emails? Disgusting does not come close. Making empty threats to for law enforcement for intimidation and truly showing his true colors on how he uses people only to claim they are useless after the fact. And his latest unprovoked email where he makes more empty threats and more shitty insults is fucked up. I have heard that CC passed by a block away from WC’s home twice after 2017. That is obvious projection. CC’s knows WC’s location. Clearly CC is the stalker. Stalking close to his target’s home and then acts like he is the victim and being harassed is scummy behavior. I have never seen such a scummy person ever as far as stalkers and harassers go.

I honestly have no consideration for him as a human being. If he receives anything terrible short of death, it is karma. He deserves nothing but negativity and hate. This man is among the lowest of monsters. I have had to deal with people with psychosis several years ago, but this man is worse by the power of 10. There is bad people and there is EXTREME SCUM. CancerChaser is the latter. The only people worse than CancerChaser are child rapists, pedophiles, murderers, terrorists, abusive parents, and human traffickers. All those aside, CancerChaser is the worst kind of person out there. Fuck this man. Fuck him HARD!

And finally I got one thing to announce. I get the feeling that people do not really want to read long as fuck posts like this on tumblr. I am going to fix that. I am going to working on readings of the CancerChaser blog and post them on YouTube so people who don’t really care about reading essays can listen to the situation as well. Because we really to expose CancerChaser and let tons of people know who much inhumane scumbag CC truly is.

[videogame1up]

An ode to the Nintendo 3DS

To say the Nintendo 3DS is one of my favorite gaming consoles and holds a very special place in my heart would be harshly under selling it, it's a console that has seen me through a lot, it's also time to admit the 3DS days are over.

I was just 16 when this system hit store shelves. While I thought it looked sorta neat, I wasn't too excited for it and also I was 16 and had no money. I remember going to a gamestop and playing a demo of the 3ds street fighter game. I also remember writing the system off. A bit later my brothers roommate bought the 3ds along with ocarina of time. This time I had much more fun, but ya know still broke high school kid. Then came June 9th 2013, for those who don't immediately know the significance of the date (and why would you) that is when Animal Crossing New Leaf came out. That is also the same morning I made sure to be awake the second gamestop opened, walked in, threw down that sweet high school graduation money and bought the Nintendo 3ds alongside Animal Crossing New leaf.

I had been anxiously awaiting this games release, as I was sold on the game and the 3ds when I saw the trailers. Finally the 3ds had a game I was dying to play. I booted up the console, watched that short it came with about dinosaurs in the office (think it may have literally been called Dinosaur office) played with the AR cards, oh and that mini game about shooting faces. Finally booting up New Leaf and absolutely loving it. I thought it looked so nice on the 3ds screen and all the new features were amazing. Granted the last Animal Crossing game I ever played was the gamecube one...but still it was great. I played that game to death until I eventually picked up Fire Emblem Awakening, and while I guess for FE purist it's not a favorite, it did introduce me to the series as well as save it. Then there came that day. October 12th 2013. The last time I played a pokemon game was probably Ruby. I never owned a DS so I never played Diamond and Pearl or Black and White. But I made sure to pick up Pokemon Y. Why Y? I thought the legendary looked cooler. When I got this game I didn't really have much going on in my life, so I would sit in my room and play games pretty much all day. I put in over 500 hours into this game.

See...like no exaggeration. This was me sitting at my desk listening to songs all day as I battled online, tried to catch shiny, and tried to complete the pokedex (didn't quite make it) this game kept me company when my life didn't make too much sense. I would try and keep up with the 3ds library. I remember the day I got smash for the 3ds, bought it that morning, had lunch, went to a concert with my dad, got home that night with a headache and talked to my then girlfriend on the phone. That was years ago but I can pretty much map that day out in my head (pretty sure I posted a pic to this blog when I bought it) as I'm sure most reading this don't know. I actually posted pretty heavily on this blog during the hay days of my 3ds gaming. Fast forward a bit I moved away. My girlfriend at the time was renting a house with some friends and offered me a place to stay. The summer was just me and her but once the school year started the housemates showed up. I was pretty anxious as I didn't really know them. One day we were all sitting around when I pulled out my 3ds. And no lie two of them pulled out theirs, one of them would play a bunch of 3ds games with me, watch the Nintendo Directs and went and picked up FE fates with me. Because of the 3ds I pretty quickly felt a connection with one of the housemates and soon felt comfortable with the rest. The 3DS has played a pretty significant role as far as games goes, and it's a system I will always hold a spot in my heart for. Having said that, I realize it's not really a system I find my self playing anymore hardly. Most games I have wanted to play on it have pretty extensively. As far as new releases go...I think that's going to dry up pretty quickly. I think it's safe to say Nintendo is no longer going to put games on it leaving it up to 3rd party developers. It may seem a bit silly to be getting sentimental about the 3DS. Not for me, for me the 3DS will remain one of my favorite gaming systems. With a dozen of amazing games, and years of experiences. Goodnight, sweet prince.

Hey thanks for reading that, I wasn't exactly planning on going on THAT much of a tangent, but if you read the whole thing then damn...you are the real MVP of Tumblr. I would love to hear some of your guys own 3ds experiences! And what you thought of the console over all. I think that does it for me, have a good one!

[adrastiana]

More things that happened

Yes that's an Inland Empire reference. :P

So I've discovered that more stuff was stolen. Earlier in the month my room smelled like cigarettes and people who don't bathe regularly. So I think it may have been recent. I am very upset. I have to move soon and have no idea where I am going so I guess I have bigger fish to fry. But this just made it worse.

When I went into the back of the closet to gather the remainder of my games I noticed that the small plastic case I kept GBA games in had its lid ajar. You have to pull the handles up and click them to the lid to close it. So if someone was in a rust or couldn't figure it out then they would likely not do it right.

I checked and Breath of Fire 2, Shining Soul 2 and Harmony of Dissonance were all missing. I thought the two Castlevania games were together in a separate case that will hold one GB/GBC or two GBA games. But I guess not. I usually try to group things together. Anywaiz, I think one or two PS1 memory cards were taken as well. Because I am almost positive I had more left from the initial theft than I do now.

Also missing is Twilight Princess for Gamecube and Ys 1&2 for DS. I am devistated.

I also discovered that Phantasy Star Universe for PS2 is not in the case. I think it may have been in the PS2 and I was so upset at the time I didn't give it much thought. I thought that Resident Evil Outbreak was the last PS2 game I played. But thinking back I am pretty sure that it was PSU now.

I cannot find the Ratchet & Clank HD collection for PS3 either. I am wondering if the disc is in the system, which is hidden in a large box of Comcast equipment. I cannot find the sleeve for the game. It was a pack-in so it came in a sleeve and not a plastic case. I am hoping that it turns up. If not I think it is easily replaceable. Still pisses me off though. -_-

At least my Gamecube, 3DS, PSP and PS3 are untouched. Although I cannot find my PSP charger. I thought I hid it under some heavy clothes on top of a chair. But the PSP was under there in its case. So I don't think that it was there. Because I know they're dumb but not that dumb. Why would you take a random charger? The PSP charger is really weird looking too. Plus it's a cumbersome pain in the ass. To make it worse despite being official the plastic on the plug that goes into the console has started to degrade. It looks kind of nasty. Since my battery asplode from old age I need that charger to play. Hope I can find it.

And to make things even worse, I dug into my armoire to get out Wind Waker and discovered the game inside was Ocarina of time. Now I ave two. My sister claims she bought it back from some guy she wouldn't give me the name of. But I thought at the time the case was way too filthy so it definitely wasn't mine. It looked like years of grime and not just the grossness of some piece of reseller scum who is also a slob. So I can't even play Wind Waker. And I have an extra Ocarina of Time. I wish I had looked inside the case back in the summer. I wish I had confirmed. But I was just so mad that I hid it and that was that. I hid my Gamecube and PS3 away because I feared that they would also be taken. So I didn't play those systems at all since then and I just couldn't look at the remainder of my collection. It was just too painful. Same with my CDs and DVDs.

Speaking of CDs, I don't know if this happened in the summer when stuff was taken or what. But I was packing the sad remainder of my CD collection and noticed that Return Of The Killer A's (Anthrax) had a broken case. The bottom hinge was cracked off so the top just comes off now. I do no remember that being an issue before. And inside of the case was the software CD for my PC monitor.

WTF? o.O

I literally have no clue. No clue at all. By the way, the music CD is still inside. I think this was a mad scramble and errant discs were shoved into cases. I did not check many of my CD cases. It was just too much to gandle. I can't take any more of this.

There's also what I assume is a blank CDR in my cabinet under what was left of my CDs. Again no clue. I have not burned a CD in a very long time. But my sister's boyfriend burned TV shows all the time. Maybe he had the dumb idea to replace some of the music CDs with CDRs for weight or something. I don't know. It ain't my CD. And I can't really check it out right now to see if anything is on it.

I confronted my sister about all this and all I get is a nasty attitude. Is she still defending him? She claims they broke up permanantly. Sure Jan.

She claims no one messed with my CDs recently because no one wants CDs. Well someone sure as hell wanted them last summer. She says no one was in my room but I beg to differ. someone stole those games. Someone needed to get high.

The piece of human filth was begging his dad on the phone for money on multiple ocassions. I overheard everything. At one point his dad hung up on him. Mind you this is a guy in his 40s with no job who is able bodied. I think he got frustrated that his parents wouldn't give him anything so he went through my stuff when I wasn't home. Yeah I should have gotten a lock but I have a feeling that it would have been picked anyway. After all, that happened to my mom. Nothing keeps this loser out. He steals from his parents too. I have heard them yelling at him over the phone about missing valuables.

I think I mentioned before that the cops were not helpful at all. They would not grant a restraining order and told me that I didn't have proof that he stole from me and that my sister had the right to invite him over. They told me that I should move. Can you believe that? I pay all the damn bills and I am the one that needs to leave to resolve the issue? Give me a break.

My sister defended him and lied and took off when I called the police both times. She was protecting him when she should have been protecting me.

And now we have to leave by the 22nd. It is all her fault. She has no income and failed to obtain a social security card and birth certificate like she was supposed to. So she cannot even get benefits. I told her to apply for the SS card online. It is free and it comes pretty fast. She did nothing. She had a year to get it together. I could not pay the mortgage after our stepfather died. So it defaulted and went into foreclosure. Had she gotten an income and stopped freeloading we could have done something as I was in contact with the mortgage company and they were trying to work something out. But I still didn't have enough to pay it and the utilities and everything else. I had to go on food stamps. And as I was applying those creeps were in my room cleaning me out to buy drugs. And then they do it again when I am applying for utility assistance. Ungrateful scum.

They were mad and verbally abused me for not giving them $20 and tokens. My sister's boyfriend was yelling at me and calling me a bitch. In my own house. Once the authority figure had died everything went to hell and there was no one left to protect me or stand up for me. So a couple weeks after that episode the stealing began. And that was my summer. Full of bullying, verbal abuse and epic freeloading. And I should have left. But when you are being abused you don't exactly think straight all the time. I didn't want to burden people with my problems. I was afraid to ask for help. I was afraid if relatives found out what my sister had a hand in that they would cut her off from any sort of help and she would die somewhere

So now I have until Friday and have no idea what will happen. I guess I need a storage unit. I have packed a lot but ran out of boxes. No idea where I am going or what will happen. I do get some money out of this but have to split it with my sister who will likely buy cigarettes and other junk with her half like the irresponsible child that she is. I'd rent a room if I could afford it. But Philly is kinda high rent and I am currently in the Far Northeast. That is not a cheap area. My primary care doctor is here. I don't really want to leave the area. But it's not like I was originally from here. I used to want to go back to the old neighborhood. Not anymore.

I hope I don't end up homeless. I'm worried about my dog.

Whatever happens happens. I will just have to live through it. I am used to suffering through bad times. But this is the worst yet. My family was evicted when I was nine. But we got a place to rent. I am just ill prepared. I hope everything works out in some way. If I don't post for a long time then that means I am likely unable to. I guess that's life. That's just the way it is. Hopefully the "it is" won't be too bad.

Sorry about the length. I don't think you can read more cut on the app. If you can I can't find it. ><