#this is critiquing behaviour i've seen from all manner of people who claim to /oppose/ fandom policing

[fatalism-and-villainy]

This was prompted by noticing some of the impulses towards what I’m about to critique in myself, so it’s not as if I’m immune to this. But it really upsets me when people lean hard into mockery or dismissal of others for disliking or having personal issues with a central element of piece of media that they also participate in fandom for, or profess to enjoy for other reasons. 

The response “um, that’s central to the story, so you can’t complain about it!” is tempting, but I think it’s ultimately a very reductive understanding of how people interact with stories. It is, in fact, possible, for one aspect of something to resonate deeply with someone, and another aspect that looms large in the story to repel them. All stories have multiple components and moving parts to them, and it’s impossible that everyone to whom the story speaks will respond positively to every single one. 

If someone is disparaging others for being enthusiastic about one of the central components of the story, then it’s worth pointing out the centrality of said story element, and pointing out that it’s unreasonable to expect fans not to be drawn to the story at least in part by something so central. But, for one thing, I think people often conflate expressions of personal dissatisfaction with intentional critique. Not every “I don’t like this” is intended as a condemnation of others. And for another, I think the clapback “why are you even in the fandom then?” is cruel, beside the point, and sets a troubling precedent in fandom landscapes. People who treat others poorly in fandom environments generally still have their own reasons for having an emotional engagement with the source material, even if those reasons are hard to comprehend. The issue at hand in those cases is the poor treatment, not the perceived “correctness” of one’s personal relationship with the source material. All this refrain does is alienate people who may have a complicated, ambivalent, or multifaceted relationship to the source material, and don’t attack others who have different preferences or motivations. 

(Also, these things can break down along the same old hegemonic lines. I’ve been getting a lot out of danmei lately. However, I have the same issue with it as I have with most stories, which is that the romantic tropes it relies on are so often premised on monogamous assumptions, which is alienating and frustrating to run up against over and over. Someone could very easily argue that these tropes are the entire appeal of the stories, and that if I don’t like it, I should get out. Which would feel shitty.)

I also think the “why are you even in the fandom” refrain encourages insularity and a lack of curiosity towards different perspectives. It sets the precedent that the only valid motivation for fandom engagement is what the person saying it and their ingroup gets out of the text. When I see someone who’s behaving perfectly fairly towards others but seems to have motivations contradictory to something that I consider essential the text or my enjoyment of it, I’m trying to cultivate more of a sense of curiosity about it. Sometimes it turns out that their personal relationship to the text, and what they draw from it to make it relevant to them, is very interesting! I think that we as (in the case of many of us) queer fans, who are so used to taking stories that aren’t designed for us and reshaping them to suit our own narratives, should be more understanding of that. 

This isn’t remotely just a question of shipping (or even primarily so), but I recall years ago, strongly disliking a particular popular ship, and not being able to understand why someone would like it. I saw someone I followed answer an ask as to why they shipped the pairing, and reading their explanation made me think “oh, I guess that makes sense.” It really made me reconsider how I was thinking about fandom in general. I still didn’t like the ship myself, but I did gain more awareness of the sheer diversity of personal perspectives at work in fandom. 

This isn’t a post about anti-shippers - rather, it’s inspired by sentiments I’ve seen from people who claim to oppose anti-shippers, but are, in my opinion, following into some of the same habits that I dislike seeing from that crowd. A little more openness, generosity, and acknowledgment that everyone has their own internal world, even if it doesn’t make sense to you on the surface, is pretty much never a bad thing. Let’s all of us (again, including me) try to approach with more curiosity.