#this is basically rewriting the game cut scenes and adding my warden's thoughts to it so it kinda reads very silly

[goatanarchy]

Little Rat

Summary: A spirit wakes up in a body of a mage, to take his place and his name. Notes: Warden/Duncan(implied), Warden is he/they!, AU where Duncan doesn't die and is a companion because I want to, probably very OOC but who cares. I wanted to finish more scenes before I post this one but I have been struggling for months, maybe even a year to write, so here is at least a very short part of it that is done.

The mage was looking at the rat. The rat was looking at the mage.

The deal was made, he is finally free. Both of them.

“Promise me one thing…” - the rat whispered.

“Anything!” - the mage smiled so brightly, the rat felt weird. He could never make this face in the mirror.

“Escape. See the sun, eat some good food.”

“I will. I’ve always wanted to.”

“Good.”

The rat disappeared and the darkness came.

Then gasp of air. The first one! And light, so much light, softness and muscle, the loud beating of heart inside his veins. His veins… filled with warmth and blood and tingling pain inside his head. But even the pain was exciting! It was the first one they felt…

“Are you alright? Say something, please…” - they heard an anxious voice. It welcomed them into the world as they jumped off the bed and looked around abruptly, like a wild animal ready to run.

“Jowan?” - they called out a bit unsure. Lots of memories buzzed in their mind and the mage hid his face in his hands. Cold. Poor blood circulation. Yes it was a friend, they remembered. Not his, but the one before him. Sarikh. He liked that name. He will carry it too.

Sarikh opened his eyes and saw a human… man? Yes. A scrawny one, in heavy dark robes and with sad anxious eyes. Sarikh brought his gaze to other things: walls of stone - cold to the touch, the wooden beds, the closets, big doors, his heavy robes (that he decided he didn’t like) and other people… humans and elves…real ones… Just like him! They were staring at Sarikh from afar with curiosity. Sarikh too was curious, but couldn’t tell what they were thinking about him. He tried to reach for their thoughts but could only catch blurred echoes of their emotions and feelings. Confusion, fear, envy.

“How weird!”, he thought to himself. It used to be so easy to just know.

“They carried you in yesterday and I was so worried… I’ve heard of apprentices who never came back from Harrowing. What was it like?” - Jowan asked.

“It was… harrowing.” - Sarikh answered absently, squeezing the sheets of the bed he was sitting on, wondering at the feel of the rough textures he never was able to feel before.

“And that’s it?” - Jowan asked and Sarikh could see the wrinkles on his forehead come together sculpting his face to look…. sad? Yes. That was the emotion Jowan was feeling. Sarikh smiled apologetically.

“You know I can’t tell you about it.”

“I do. I just wish I knew when they will call me for it already…” - there was frustration in his voice and fear in his mind. Not something Sarikh could fix. He knew Jowan was afraid of becoming a tranquil, as did most mages in this tower. Tranquil or dead - who knew which one was worse?

“Although Irving wanted to see you after you wake up.”- Jowan added after realizing Sarikh wasn’t gonna tell him anything else.

“I should… probably go see him then!” - they said, jumping off the bed and leaving sad Jowan behind. They felt bad for not knowing how to comfort their… new friend.

Sarikh didn't pout for too long and got distracted easily. He touched the cold metal gratings shaped in beautiful spirals and looked through the books in the library. Which he didn’t know had a smell! The knowledge could smell and it made Sarikh giggle. It also made people stare at him but he once again wasn’t sure why.

He looked into every open room and listened to every word. Maker, demons and blood magic - it was all a blur of useless words for Sarikh. The only thing he wanted to find was a window or a crack in the walls that would let him see what the real sun and sky look like.

Instead he found old men arguing. Ah, he knew them. The angry templar, the old Enchanter he was supposed to meet and the hmm… this one was new. Sarikh couldn’t remember him, which meant he was from outside the tower. Exciting! He was a human - clad in shining armor, dark in skin and hair, broad and tall. His eyes were almost black, but bright and determined under the scarce light of the heavy chambers. A knight perhaps?

“Gentlemen, please. Irving, someone is here to see you.” - The man from the outside interrupted and everyone turned to Sarikh. They might have stared at the knight a little too long because the templar, Greagoir, coughed to break the awkward silence so he could leave:

“Well Irving, you are obviously busy. We will discuss this later.”

Irving sighed, tired, but still gave Sarikh a warm smile inviting them to come into the office. Sarikh froze in silence, not knowing what to say. The First Enchanter bore many a memory in the mind of his late friend. Stern and appraising in ways that have made the old Sarikh miserable… He felt a prickle in his heart and had to blink a few times to back down the tears. Another thing he cannot fix.

“H-hello.” - Sarikh pressed out of himself.

“This is?..” - the knight asked. He studied Sarikh with as much interest as they had, maybe just a tinge more dignified in expressing it. Sarikh was an elf, much shorter than most, pale as paper, a poof of dark red hair and red eyes to match, a friendly smile resting on his lips.

“Yes, this is he.” - Irving confirmed, warm and proud. - “Congratulations are in order to our new brother in The Circle.”

“Thank you!” - Sarikh said a lot louder than they anticipated and turned their gaze to the knight to hide the anxiety. The knight only gave a polite smile in return but they could feel his interest spike.

“I see you are much curious about our guest. This is Duncan, of the Grey Wardens. ” - The First Enchanter said.

“A Grey Warden? In the tower?” - Sarikh… vaguely knew of them. In the Fade he has witnessed all kinds of legends and tales from the dreams and the spirits. He couldn’t always understand them but he knew that humans loved heroes and deeds that felt larger than life. And Wardens were one such a thing.

“Grey Wardens go wherever duty sends them.” - Duncan said and it felt like he meant it.

“You’ve heard of the war brewing to the south, I expect? Duncan is recruiting mages to join the king’s army at Ostagar.”

Sarikh’s eyes went wide with excitement, his hair poofed up.

“I want to defend our kingdom!” - he blurted out. That would get him out of the tower, wouldn’t it? Duncan let out a hearty laugh and Sarikh’s cheeks burned red.

“What an eager little fellow, you have here.” - Duncan teased.

“He was always very diligent.” - Irving confirmed more to himself than to anyone else. - “But you mustn't be so hasty Sarikh, you only just passed your Harrowing after all. Have at least a little levity before thinking of war.”

“Yeah-yeah… I will.” - Sarikh mumbled disappointed, looking at the floor. Irving, seemingly satisfied, waved at him to go.

“For now, enjoy your day, rest, and be so kind, show Duncan to the guest quarters… I have some things to discuss with Gregoir.”

“With pleasure!” - Sarikh said, again, way too excited.

—-

“So you wish to be a Warden?” - Duncan asked as they walked through the tower. Sarikh was marching him around every chamber, choosing the longest way to get around. One might think that they were doing this on purpose, but Duncan couldn’t help but notice how confused the young mage looked every time he would open a door and it would be a broom closet or someone else’s quarters entirely…

“I do!” - Sarikh turned to Duncan, his bright red eyes almost sparkling. They didn’t want to sound desperate but - “Would you take someone like me?”

“Someone like you?” - Duncan wondered. Sarikh let out a nervous breath.

“Well, from what I’ve heard about The Wardens…. You are strong and-and… heroic warriors that can take on a legion if you wanted to. And I’m just well… me.”

“A lot of people are just people at the end of the day, Sarikh. Strength doesn’t always come in abundance of muscle or magic power.”

“Oh.”

“Sometimes it’s about being persistent and very very stubborn.”

Duncan watched Sarikh open another door, look inside, blush and close it immediately.

“Well, I hope it doesn't also require a good sense of direction then.” - Sarikh said in a most pathetic tone.

“That’s why you bring the king of Ferelden with you.”

“What?”

“Hm.” - Duncan smiled at something distant in his thoughts.

“Are you going to have the king with you too?” - they asked, not sure if the man was joking or not.

“Hopefully, only for an inspirational speech. Do not worry, though, we have maps if the need arises.”

“Good, good.” - Sarikh nodded satisfied. They opened the last door in the hall and it was an empty and unlived bedroom. - “Ah! These must be the guest quarters.”

“And what if it is not?” - Duncan asked. What little confidence Sarikh had, immediately left them.

“Umm.. finders keepers?” - they said after thinking really hard for a minute. Duncan let out a laugh.

“Well. I can’t argue with that logic.”