#this is a very brave act after my other post blew up and got almost 40k notes and my notifications have been hell ever since

[xpao-bearx]

"Like A Virgin"

Steven Grant x Fem!Reader/Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader

Read Part 1 HERE

Read Part 3 HERE

Read Part 4 HERE

NOTES: Y'ALL the way my jaw literally DROPPED when not even H A L F a minute after I posted the first part, you guys were already exploding my notifs which I wasn't expecting AT ALL I swear Oscar Isaac's really got us sluts in a chokehold O_o

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUU!!! 😭❤️❤️❤️ This is truly wonderful and encourages me a lot, especially since this is my first ever Moon Knight fic AND the first time a story of mine blew up this much! This is also great cuz I've been terribly sick, but of course ✨️priorities✨️ I gotta shower our Moon Boys with some much deserved lovin' and it's just so fucking nice to see that it's paying off! \(^o^)/ I was so happy and inspired that I couldn't resist and just HAD to write this second part ASAP!

Dissociative identity disorder is also briefly mentioned here and if I made any mistakes, then I apologize and please kindly correct me. And I feel like the ending may be a bit rushed, but it's the best my tiny brain could think of!

I'll shut up now and I'm very proud and excited to present... PART 2!!! 🥳 And if you'd like to be tagged for any of the next parts, feel free to tell me!

Also Marc does something very asshole-y here oop

TAGS: @autismsupermusicalassassin @ungracefularchimedes @pimosworld @ababynova @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @anapnovo-blog @am-3-thyst @harrys-tittie @zukoisbabee @wiltedwonderland

Part 2: You made me feel I've nothing to hide

After work, instead of heading home, you rushed straight to the nearest boutique to buy yourself a new dress for tomorrow night. The butterflies in your stomach were doing somersaults and you felt as if you could spontaneously burst into song like in those cheesy musicals your former college roommate was so obsessed with.

You knew the employees were all looking at you oddly as you constantly giggled to yourself like some lovesick schoolgirl while you perused through endless racks of the latest fashion. Of course you knew you were acting ridiculous--crazy--but wasn't that what attraction or, dare you say, love did to you?

Besides, you wanted tomorrow to go perfectly. In your eyes, Steven Grant was already perfect--perfectly imperfect or imperfectly perfect, you didn't know or care which was which. You just knew that you liked him. A lot.

And it relieved and pleased you to the moon and back that he actually felt the same! So, who cares what anyone else thought?

You just hoped that after tomorrow, Steven would like you enough to go on another date. And another. Then another...

Maybe you were looking--wishing--too far into the future, but you swore you could almost hear wedding bells chiming in the distance.

God, is this what happens after being a total virgin for twenty-something years? There was absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin, but your insecurity bugged you. What if you weren't at all what Steven expected?

But another part of you, a positive ray of sunshine, clobbered all your doubts. For once, you were going to be brave! You were going to take a leap of faith! You were going to control your life!

Because, in the end...it was worth it. Steven was worth it. Sure, you've experienced various crushes throughout your life, but not like this. Not with Steven. This felt more...serious. Adult.

It felt as if right from the get-go crossing fates with "Steven with a V", your life was about to change--for the better.

Of course you were afraid, and yet you've also never been more sure of something in your entire existence. You've been waiting this long and you're glad you did, and now you were ready to jump head first (and head over heels) into whatever adventure was in store for you--with Steven.

You then squealed excitedly when you spotted the perfect dress, ignoring the judgmental stares other customers shot you as you hurriedly grabbed it like a child in a toy store.

Yes, tomorrow was going to be a dream come true.

♡•••🌙•••♡

You arrived at the restaurant thirty minutes early. It was totally embarrassing how eager you were, but you couldn't help yourself. Though at least with how early you were, you snagged a good table overlooking the restaurant's beautiful back garden strung with fairy lights and you can have some time to calm down before Steven came.

And you looked stunning. Your hair tumbled down in elegant waves, light makeup adoring your face and donning the contact lenses you rarely used. And the dress you bought fit like a glove; it was the shortest dress you now owned, stopping around your thighs. It was baby blue and had an off-the-shoulder style with some frills, and it hugged your figure just right.

You felt very self-conscious. You've always fancied clothes like this, but never actually had the guts to wear them--until now. Did it really suit you? But you couldn't deny that you were happy and, truly, isn't that all that mattered?

"Shall I get you started, ma'am?" A waitress snapped you back to reality and you shook your head.

"Not yet, thank you. I'm still waiting for my...date." The word made you blush furiously, as if sharing a dirty little secret.

The waitress smiled and nodded, leaving you by yourself once more as you sighed wistfully.

You took out your phone from your purse, checking the time. 6:45 p.m. Alright, not too long now. And you double checked that the address you texted Steven was correct, which it is.

You settled back in your chair, peering over the garden and giggling softly.

"I'm right here for you, Steven."

♡•••🌙•••♡

"It's about time, innit?" Steven murmured, glancing over anxiously at his wristwatch for the umpteenth time. It was already eight p.m., a whole hour past your meeting time (not to mention he arrived embarrassingly early). And he was just informed by one of the servers that the restaurant was closing in thirty minutes, to which a pitiful look was also casted to him.

"It's not 'about time', Steven. It's late." Marc gruffly pointed out, Steven seeing Marc's reflection glaring back at him from the shiny silver flower vase set in the middle of the table. "Face it: she's NOT coming."

"Don't you dare say that." Steven's voice was barely above a whisper, but there was a certain edge to it that one would normally not hear from the soft man. "Y/N would never do that. Not her. She's just running late, I'm sure. Traffic and all."

"Oh, please, we both know that even the traffic here doesn't take this long." Marc scoffed. "Stop kidding yourself, Steven. She's. NOT. Coming."

Steven frowned, and with a shaky hand he pulled out his phone. He should've called you since way earlier. It was the logical thing to do, after all. But he was...scared. Scared that, maybe, a terrifying maybe, Marc was right.

He found your number and called you, pressing his phone to his ear as it began to ring. He didn't realize he was holding his breath until you finally picked up, voice groggy.

"Hello..?"

"Y/N..." Steven heaved a relieved exhale. "Hey, uh, I'm at the restaurant. Guess you got stuck in traffic?" He chuckled halfheartedly.

A long, dreadful pause. And then:

"Fucking EXCUSE me?"

Steven's eyes widened, having never heard you swear before. He was just about to ask what was wrong when you continued without skipping a beat.

"Are you playing with me, Steven? Is this what it is?!" You definitely sounded angry, but he didn't miss the faint sniffles coming from you. Shit, were you crying? What the hell was happening?

"How can you be such a...such a DICK?!" You shouted, causing him to jerk his phone a few inches away from his ear. "I fucking waited for you like a total idiot until closing time, you prick! You never showed and you never answered my calls! What the fuck can you POSSIBLY gain from toying with me, huh?!"

"W-Wait, I don't understand!" Steven was nearly hyperventilating, all the colour draining from his face and his mind running a mile a minute. "I-I'm here! Right now! D-Didn't we agree? Friday night, seven p.m.?"

You were dead silent. Steven was going to check if the call was still connected when you beat him to it.

"Steven... It's Sunday."

Steven froze. Then his eyes landed on Marc's reflection, refusing to meet his gaze and it clicked.

"Y/N." Steven said slowly, steadily, despite feeling like crying himself. His eyes were still on Marc, cold and pissed. "Please. I promise I have an explanation. I just... God, can we meet? Y/N, please, I'll come to you."

"No need." Tears threatened to spill from Steven's despondent eyes at your flat response, before you suddenly added: "I'll come to you. You said you were at the restaurant, right? Stay there."

You ended the call, and Steven flared at Marc--no longer caring if other people perceived him as a lunatic fighting with himself.

"Why the fuck would you do that, Marc?"

"Steven..." Marc struggled to find the right words, and the asshole actually had the audacity to look ashamed. "Listen, she's nothing but a distraction--"

"You always think you know better, yeah?" Steven laughed humourlessly. "A distraction? YOU stop kidding yourself, Marc. This is not just your life, but mine. And it's about fucking time you stop being such a selfish bastard!"

"Um, sir?" Steven winced, greeted by a baffled waiter. "We'll be closing soon, so I'm gonna have to ask you to leave if you're not ordering anything."

Humiliated and repeatedly babbling apologies, Steven abruptly sprang out of his chair and dashed outside. He sighed deeply and collapsed listlessly on the ground, finally allowing the tears to fall.

He vaguely heard footsteps approaching until he saw a pair of worn bunny slippers in front of him. His eyes heavily dragged upwards, finding you staring back at him with an unreadable expression and breaths coming out in ragged pants.

"Y/N!" Steven jumped up, surprised you actually came despite the way he--the way Marc--treated you. Your bloodshot eyes and the dried tears on your cheeks only made him feel even shittier, much more fucked up than any beating he suffers on a mission.

Because at least with those, he can be confident that he and the boys would win no matter the challenge. But with you?

He had everything to lose.

Your hair was a total mess; glasses slightly crooked and you were in your pyjamas, a matching set of a purple tank top and shorts with stars and moons. The only thing you had covering you was a purple silk robe, drawing it closer to your chilly body as your eyes narrowed at Steven.

You should be mad at him, and you were. Still, despite everything, you hopped on to the first bus you saw and scrambled the rest of the way here as fast as you could.

But now that you were here...what in Khonshu's name were you going to do? You could scream at him with all the pain you haven't had the pleasure to release like you did on the phone, but you'd just be wasting your breath. Then again, he wasn't lying. He really is here. And it confused you more than anything.

And seeing him like this, looking so...sad. Well, it made you sad. Him miserably clenching onto a heart shaped chocolate box, fat globs of tears cascading down his cheeks as he gawked at you with his pretty doe brown eyes.

You raised your hand, and Steven shut his eyes as he braced himself for the slap he very much deserved--only to be met with your soft palm, wiping away his tears tenderly.

"Explain to me, Steven."

♡•••🌙•••♡

The travel to Steven's apartment was spent in deafening silence, but it brought upon a strange sort of comfort. Unconsciously, you hugged Steven's black jacket that he had offered you earlier even closer to your much smaller frame. It soothed your nerves, being completely enveloped in his smell; fresh soap with a hint of musky cologne.

Once you reached his unit, you couldn't help but smile. It was just so...Steven. It was a bit messy, but a good kind of messy. You didn't really know how to describe it, but it warmed your heart especially when you saw a giant fish tank with only one goldfish.

"Cuppa tea?" Steven asked to which you shook your head, facing him fully.

"No. I'm a 'get over it' kinda girl so whatever your explanation is, I'd rather we just nip it in the bud." You huffed before you halted, biting your lip. "Oh, uh, sorry... Of course, if you wanna have tea, you can. It's your home, after all."

Steven laughed, his first real laugh that entire day. "Are you always this nice to blokes you should be mad at?"

"Only if they are really into Egyptology and have beautiful brown eyes and gorgeous curls." You rolled your eyes though you couldn't suppress your grin before you cleared your throat, getting a hold of your stupid giddy self. "Now, explain."

Steven's demeanour instantly shifted, serious now and quite uneasy. But he nodded and gestured towards the couch. You walked over and plopped down, Steven sitting next to you and keeping a respectful couple inches between the two of you.

He looked down at the ground, carefully considering his words before meeting your gaze solemnly. "Have you ever heard of dissociative identity disorder?" You nodded, previously learning about it in Psychology class and researching about it due to personal interest. "That's...what I have. I'm an alter within a system, and there are two others--Marc Spector and Jake Lockley."

"Am I correct to assume that when you asked me out...it wasn't actually you?"

Steven blinked, rather startled that you were taking this so well. "Yes. Jake was the one who asked you out."

"Was he also the one who didn't show up for the date?"

"No, that would be Marc." He grumbled. "And listen, I'm truly sorry about him. He's a right twit. It may not have been me who didn't show up, but that absolutely doesn't excuse the hurt it caused you. I am so, so sorry, Y/N."

Your brows furrowed, mulling over this new revelation. But...you believed him, especially when it explained all those times you secretly caught Steven muttering incoherently to himself or staring at his reflection and quietly reacting to something. You were curious about more, of course, but Steven didn't have any reason to lie about such a serious matter. And if he was lying, there were plenty of other things he could say. But the way he acted, and just the look in his eyes--he knew the risks of opening up to you, but he did it anyway.

You clasped his hands in yours, sighing. "I know I look calm right now, but trust me, I'm freaking the fuck out." You chuckled, and Steven felt safe enough to join you. "But... I trust you, Steven. And I believe you. Tell me one thing, though. Are you...into me? Like, at all?"

"Of course I am!" He replied in a flash, making you both pause before erupting into easy laughter. "Why would you even have to ask that, love?"

"It's just... Well, if Jake was the one who asked me out, it made me wonder if you really did like me." You mumbled, looking away.

Steven gently grasped your chin, tipping your face back towards him. "I've liked you since the day we met, Y/N. In your pink skirt and the cute little pigtails you had." He smiled, eyes so amorous and gleaming with sincerity. "Truth is, I've wanted to ask you out since forever. I'm just not as...forward as Jake is."

"And that's fine. But hey, we gotta thank him 'cause Lord knows I'd just spiral into a panic attack if I ever made the first move." You chuckled. But it gradually died down as Steven continued to stare at you, and you never thought you would ever have someone look at you the way Steven did; as if you were precious treasure hidden within a sacred tomb.

Slowly, ever so slowly, your body started moving of its own accord. You were leaning closer, closer, closer--a mere breath away from his lips before he piped up.

"I'm also Khonshu's Avatar!"

"Say what?"

"Um, well, you see--" He stammered, mentally slapping himself.

'Don't say anything, Steven.' Marc warned, and it took all of Marc's willpower not to seize control and actually slap Steven.

But it was too late now. Steven already said too much, but he wanted to be honest with you. Utterly so. And since you wanted to nip this in the bud, now was the best time more than anything.

"Erm... You've seen the news, yeah?" He didn't grant you the chance to respond as he rambled. "Masked vigilantes... Moon Knight and Mr. Knight? They're actually...Marc and I."

"Steven, this is--"

"I'll show you, Y/N. I'll summon the suit."

"Summon the soup? What is happening--"

Steven stood up, and a split second later there was a whirl of white. And sure enough, there was none other than one half of the mysterious heroes you've been seeing a lot on the news recently; his glowing white eyes locked with yours, crisp ivory suit and batons clutched tightly in his hands.

"Look, I know this is a lot to take in--"

"Handsome..." You blurted out before you can restrain yourself.

"Huh?" Steven blushed underneath the mask, and you were the same as your cheeks tinted crimson. Then you rose from the couch, closing the gap between you two and removing his mask.

His curls stuck every which way and his eyes were as wide as the full moon, making you giggle. "You're so handsome, Steven. And yeah, this is a fucking lot to take in. To be honest, a part of me is still wondering if this is all just a dream." You reached up, caressing the side of his face sweetly and smiling. "But...thank you. Thank you for being honest with me."

His batons dropped to the floor, trembling hands hesitantly settling on your hips. You noticed his Adam's apple bob as he looked down at you, tears once again glistening in his eyes. Happiness, relief, adoration--how can so many exhilarating emotions crash over him all at once?

"Can I be more honest?" He whispered, resting his forehead against yours as he gazed deeply into your eyes. "I...want you to stay with me."

Your cheeks hurt from how impossibly wide your smile has stretched, wrapping your arms around his neck and nuzzling his nose with yours.

"I'm staying whether you like it or not, Steven with a V."

[thekidultlife]

Through the Seasons | Seungcheol (COMPLETED)

Author’s Note: 

Please read this before continuing on to the fic! 😊 If you’ve read the first part of this story which I posted in a rush during my birthday, please. scrap. all. your. thoughts. about. it. Having completed it now, I truly regretted rushing to post it just to meet a deadline; that won’t happen again lol. 😂 I plan to write more slowly and carefully from now on because I want to be able to look back and read my stories without too much regret over how I could have written them better. I hope that you enjoy this one, and please look forward to this series! My plan is to alternate writing “The Return Of Superman”, “The And” and “Through The Seasons” during the coming weeks/months.

Birthday Greetings: This fic is one that I wrote as a gift, not only to our amazing SVT leader and my ultimate bias who deserves THE ENTIRE WORLD, Seungcheol (🥺❤), but also to my good friend, @peekabooseoksoon! Belated Happy Birthday! 🙆‍♀️ I hope you get to love this fic!!! 😄

Tags: I’d like to mention @coupsiekkuma, @minkwans, @eclvpe, @haven-cove​,  @nrhfzh, @iwalktheline97, @woozisnoots, @shoshishua, @toxicsocial, @elcie-chxn, @yslmingyux, @gostickywombat, @uglyratlmao, and @starlightshua!

Plot: Two people form memories, navigate through hardships and—most of all—learn to love each other more through the seasons of their relationship.

Warnings: Marked 18+ for suggestive content

Word Count: 10,386

1 | summer, as the night wind whispered

Bright lights flooded the town square through the colorful lanterns that hung in lines and swayed idly. The air was filled with the smell of mingling perfumes, food and beer. The cobbled streets were packed with people, of different ages, walking through the stalls that sold native handicrafts and trinkets. Tables that were laid out in the center of the square kept getting occupied as the twilight dissipated into a dark sky full of stars. Music from guitars, bagpipes and dulcimers wafted around, competing with the blare of jukeboxes playing songs from eras long past, classics that everyone still loved to sing and dance to.

One month ago, no one would have thought that this town would be celebrating like this.

A violent storm had hit and destroyed almost everything in its path, and a sense of despair had engulfed the people living there. The winds and the heavy rain had been bad, but the landslides really made things worse. Even at present, as the town held its celebration, helicopters could be seen hovering above the mountains that surrounded the town proper, their searchlights flashing here and there, aiding rescuers who made their way around the dark, slippery terrain, looking for missing people or houses that had vanished underneath mounds of trees, dark rock and soil.

Despite the tragedy and the uncertainty that hung in the air, however, the townspeople had been resilient. Pooling their resources, and seeking help from neighboring towns and cities, they managed to recover most of their losses and found cause to celebrate as houses, businesses and landmarks began to be restored.

Sitting on one of the tables, watching the merriment all around them, were three men, sipping on their beers, wearing jackets that identified them as university students hailing from a city five hours away. They, along with a group of other volunteer workers from their uni, had come to help and were now celebrating the last day of volunteer work. Just across the street, by the small parking lot of the town’s only hotel, vehicles were lined up, readied for the departure in the early morning. These three men expected to be on the first bus going home tomorrow.

The first two sitting across each other kept commenting idly about how hectic the day had been, but the third guy, nursing his drink close to his lips, was scanning the flow of people, his huge, sparkling eyes flitting to and fro. He could not process what his friends were talking about. He was too busy watching who came and went as the festivities rolled on.

“Choi Seungcheol, have you found her yet?” Yoon Jeonghan asked, lazily grinning. His dark brown hair fell down his eyes and he raked them back with his fingers. He glanced at his friend before turning back to the buoyant scenery. A crowd seated on the table next to them roared with laughter.

“I haven’t,” Seungcheol replied lightly, taking another swig. “But I will.”

Seungcheol’s seemingly dogged determination made the guy sitting across Jeonghan chuckle. “This will be a very interesting night,” Hong Jisoo said softly, smirking at Jeonghan’s direction. “Cheol won’t let up finding this mystery woman.”

“I, for one, think that we’ve had an interesting day already,” Jeonghan answered dryly, leaning back on his metal chair, “and an uncomfortable one at that. I didn’t like the fact that we had to follow someone for a whole day, all because some guy couldn’t just walk up to her and ask her out.”

At that, Seungcheol turned to Jeonghan and glared at him playfully. “Shut up.”

“Cheol is acting funny,” Jeonghan teased. “Isn’t he, Jisoo-ya?” Jisoo laughed and clinked bottles with Jeonghan in agreement.

“I have my reasons,” Seungcheol said defensively, turning back to the crowd. “I couldn’t find the right timing.”

“Oooh,” Jeonghan cooed. “The right timing.”

“I said shut your trap, Jeonghan. I think you’re drunk.”

“I will be if you still don’t find her.”

“You could dance with some of our other friends out there while we wait.”

“You know I’m too tired for that.”

Jisoo laughed again. “You could not find the right timing? After all the days you’ve spent here?”

“Complete bull.” Jeonghan grinned.

Suddenly Seungcheol stood, setting his beer bottle down so hard on the wooden table that Jisoo and Jeonghan could not help but complain in unison about the abrupt movement. However, they quieted down when they saw Seungcheol’s expression.

“That’s her.” Seungcheol pointed somewhere in the throng of people, his eyes wide, his countenance suddenly alight and stone-cold sober. The night breeze blew on his close-cropped hair as he looked on. 

His words were almost drowned out by the cacophony of voices and music all around them, but Jisoo and Jeonghan looked at each other knowingly, hearing his words perfectly.

`“Well?” Jisoo brought his drink to his lips, eyeing Seungcheol with a devious glint in his eyes.

A few moments passed, with Seungcheol simply standing there.

The right timing.

He broke off into a run.

He ran past tables and stalls and dancing couples, startling people along the way. His feet took him flying across the cobbled streets lined with lanterns, towards a spot by the exit of the square where stalls sold summer flowers. His heart pounded within his chest as he sprinted, his eyes never leaving what they had been watching for throughout the young night.

As he ran, he forgot how silly he had felt when, exactly five nights ago, he had hopped onto one of the buses leaving campus for the volunteer program. His only reason for joining had been his need for an adventure away from the city. He would have no other time for anything extracurricular in the months to come. The bar exam was looming over his mind, and before he poured himself solely to the task of preparing for it, he wanted to get away.

He remembered how you had stretched out a hand to greet him even before sitting down beside him.

Hi. You had smiled and he had felt like he was staring at the sun as you told him your name. Classical composition. You?

Non-music major, he had replied with a quick, albeit apologetic smile to return yours. I got on this bus by mistake.

Oh, that’s okay, you had said good-naturedly, winking at him, you don’t have to worry. We’re very good company. 

And you were.

As he ran, he forgot how tired he was. He had followed you and the other volunteers around all day, up and down the mountains, giving out boxes of food and clothing to the families that had been affected by the calamity. The first four days hadn’t been as grueling as this last one. But it had been worth it.

He forgot, too, how sorry he felt for his friends, who didn’t know what they had signed up for when they followed him to this town to check up on him.

All he could remember was the flush on his cheeks when he had watched as your fingers strummed at a guitar, and how he could not help but hang on to the sweet lilt of your voice when you opened your mouth to sing. 

"Deep breath and wipe those tears // Take heart and face those fears // We'll find a reason, // something to cling to; // We won't abandon // you. // There's hope in this season, // too."

All he could remember was the comfort that washed over the faces of the people who were listening, back at the orphanage in the mountains, where evacuees had taken up temporary residence.

He forgot about everything else and just ran, ran, and ran towards the only thing that mattered in his mind.

He had found you.

There you were—your hair rustling in the wind, wearing a billowing white dress that came down just beneath your knees and a knapsack that hung loosely on one shoulder, laughing with little children who were selling what looked like different sorts of flowers. You bent down to reach for a bouquet, and then lifted it to your nose, closing your eyes as you inhaled the scent.

Seungcheol drew to a stop as he neared you. His breaths slowed into pants, but his restless heart still fluttered faster than it would normally do.

Before he could lose his courage, he walked slowly to you.

He didn’t know what to say to you yet. After the bus ride, he only saw you every now and then, among the hundred volunteers that had joined. And all day long today, when he knew that he could not put off speaking to you anymore, he had been thinking about how he could approach you without scaring you off. There was one point this evening, after a little bit of beer, when he had felt like he could be brave enough to speak to you the moment he finds you.

But now, standing before you, he was tongue-tied, unable to say anything at all.

Sensing his presence, you turned, looking directly at him, still laughing, your hands holding a bouquet close to your face.

For precious brief seconds, the both of you just stood there, the night breeze beckoning as it made its sweeping touch upon both your clothes, trying to unchain you from where you both stood—whispering, it seemed, as it touched skin, Closer.

It was you who broke the ice.

“That was quite a run,” you commented humorously, your eyes filling with a gentle light. “Did I drop my wallet or something?”

Seungcheol laughed, blushing at the same time before scratching his head. He didn’t know that you had noticed him running. “Uh, no. Sorry. I must have startled you.”

“You told me during our bus ride that you came just to have some fun,” you said softly, your eyes taking in this handsome man before you and the jacket he wore. “But I saw how you worked hard, especially today. Thank you for coming with us.”

“And thank you for your songs,” Seungcheol replied, smiling. There was no flattery in his voice when he said this to you, only interest and admiration and another emotion that he himself could not clearly define at that moment.

Your eyes widened. “You listened?”

Seungcheol cocked his head to the side, hands in his pockets, still smiling. “All three songs, the whole afternoon.”

You grinned. “Ah. I didn’t know that I was in the presence of a fan. So…” one corner of your mouth turned up playfully, “…you ran all that way—” you motioned at the brilliant lights of the festival that was behind you both, “—not because I dropped my wallet somewhere around the bazaars and you picked it up by chance…but because—you loved my songs,” you grinned as you said this, “and you wanted my autograph. Was that it?”

He stifled a laugh, but it still bubbled out of his lips. “No. To be honest, I was going to ask you something else.” Seungcheol’s kind, hooded eyes smiled along with his lips. Courage surged inside him, just when he needed it. “Would you like to dance with me?”

Your slow smile answered his question before you even spoke.

“Yes.”

Closer, the wind whispered as you ran, laughing, with Seungcheol, back into the bright lights where the lanterns swayed, his hand not letting go of yours. And as Seungcheol pulled you close to him by the waist, your body arched up against him, and you threw your arms around his neck. You danced to the slow music, with Seungcheol’s eyes lighting up like the lanterns and his delighted laughter as melodious as the strings that strummed soulful tunes through the night.

Not far from where you danced, watching and making funny but adoring commentaries about how Seungcheol sucked at dancing, Jeonghan and Jisoo clinked bottles.

“It did become an interesting night.”

The town, in the morning, was greeted by blue skies and the young heat of summer. Business went back to normal, with the townsfolk reverting to their quiet, slow-paced lives in the fields and the mountains where their houses and livelihoods were nestled. The square held its usual number of regulars, some laying on the soft grass and others spreading colorful cloths around for picnics. Bicycles and occasional cars passed by.

There were no more buses that lined outside the tall, eighty-year-old hotel that was the pride of the town. No more guys wearing university jackets, no more stalls that lined the cobbled sidewalks.

Everything had gone back to how they were.

But traces of the festival night still popped up here and there in that sleepy old town.

High up the mountains, in the orphanage, children sang your songs and your words lingered on their lips. Some of them still had chocolates and candy from yesterday, leftovers from what their volunteer friends had given them as treats before heading back to the city. A plaque commemorating those who donated and came to help could be seen inside the town hall. And the gratitude people felt in their hearts as they watched their town being rebuilt made them remember their friends who had left in the early morning.

Some traces, too, weren’t just found in town. Some you brought home with you.

In that morning, you and Seungcheol were already five hours away, on a bus terminal, getting woken by the driver, who told you that you were now back in the city.

You had both missed the bus rides back to campus, but that was okay.

With your bags slung on your backs, you talked about Seungcheol’s upcoming bar exam, your major and getting breakfast somewhere. The impress of his touch on the small of your back as he gently guided you through the crowded streets reminded you of how you had felt when you danced with him all night. You blushed as he playfully protested about how his arms had gone numb when he woke up with you in his arms. Laughing with him as you both strolled along the hectic streets of the city, you found that you liked how Seungcheol’s voice sounded and how he would look you in the eyes intently whenever you would start to tell him something, no matter how interesting or uninteresting it would be. There was something intuitive and perceptive about him, something that you don’t normally see with guys that you had tried to get to know before. You liked that uniqueness in Seungcheol.

Sitting across him, eating your burger as you watched him type his number on your phone, you felt something new begin. And when he unconsciously reached out to take your hand while inside a cab that morning, you just knew, that you had both found in each other a memento from that summer night up in the mountains, in a town slowly recovering from a calamity, a town of cobbled streets and music and the wind that had teased and whispered, Closer.

2 | autumn, beneath the glowing streetlamps

Almost every sunset since the leaves started falling and the sky started to become painted in reddish-golden splendor, as people hurried along sidewalks or streets or in their bicycles and cars before rush hour set in, you would find yourself racing, racing and racing into Cheol’s waiting arms, warm and safe from the dropping temperatures and the cruel life of being an assistant producer for a crueler entertainment company.

There would be times when you would immediately look up from burying yourself in the warmth of Seungcheol’s embrace, smile sweetly up at his face and say in cute tones, “Hi, baby!”

There would be times when you would wrap your arms around his neck and stand on tiptoes to treat him with kisses as he laughed and whispered, “I missed you” in your ear.

And there would also be times when you would linger beneath his coat, shutting out all the bustling noises around you, eyes closed, and your words an almost unintelligible murmur on his chest. “Let’s stay like this for a while, please?” 

You would then feel him kiss your hair, nuzzle your face, replying softly, “Bad day?” before hugging you tighter and tilting your head up so he could give you one of his infamous pep talks. He would then be kissing you with a laugh when you would start to complain that he sounded like a lecturer you had back in your uni days.

It had been three years since you danced with the wind during that summer night, and your sunsets during this third autumn season with Seungcheol by your side usually consisted of these sweet embraces and small but meaningful whispers of affection.

But today, the sunset was different.

You are still racing through the streets, running, running and running, your coat and hair flying in the wind. But Choi Seungcheol—always standing out anywhere he went with his height and broad shoulders, huge coats and quick smiles—was nowhere among the crowd. And you now halted to a stop, catching your breath, eyes frantically searching for taxis as the dark blue and violet shades of the nighttime sky started to replace the golden sheen of the sunset.

Once you could get on one, you immediately gave out the address, telling the driver as nicely as possible to step on it. Then you leaned back on the plush leather seat, sighing loudly, looking through the car window as you sped past the city’s grey skyscrapers and its lights and the rush of commute. You listened to the noise of cars honking, of motorcycles zipping past your cab, and chatter from commuters as you sometimes halted at crosswalks. You observed these people rushing to and fro, eager to be where they needed to be. You engaged in pleasant talk with the driver, complimenting his choice of music, even confiding in him that you had helped make the second song that played.

Soon, you came to a place where the pulsing, white and yellow lights of the city softened into golden hue as the skyscrapers were replaced by townhouses and apartments, homey restaurants, little shops and an occasional clinic here and there. Passersby were not rushing in this part of the city. Rather, families were walking hand in hand, dads sometimes carrying their kids on their backs, laughing as they entered diners and restaurants. Old women in flowery dresses shuffled up the steps of their apartment, with their husbands or cats following closely. Lovers and students with their friends laughed softly as they quietly strolled down the sidewalks, amazed at the beauty of the coming night and the sighing of trees as their leaves fell. You smiled at a woman you knew as the cab slowed. And when it stopped, you got out, blinking as your eyes adjusted beneath the glowing light of the streetlamps, looking around.

This was your neighborhood. This was your world when five o'clock came and you were released from the pressure of work. This was your safety net when you felt like drowning. This was your home turf. 

And there he was, just as you knew he would be. He probably went straight home after court. He probably thought he could mask everything that had happened when he had rested enough. He probably didn’t want you to worry. 

Yes, there he was. Walking slowly to his car, shoulders slumped, his phone in his hand, probably going to shoot you a message that he was on his way to pick you up, he just ran a little late today. His head was bent down as he scrolled through his phone. His other hand was holding his briefcase, his most prized possession as a criminal lawyer. He didn’t see you coming towards him yet. But as he looked up from his phone to open the car door, his eye caught sight of you and he stopped, his hand on the door handle.

Immediately, Seungcheol’s despondent expression changed. His face lit up into a smile that almost didn’t look tired, his shoulders straightened up and he cocked his head to the side like he always does when he sees you looking at him, his now ash-blond hair touching his forehead. “Baby!” he called out endearingly, his free arm wide open.

There, beneath the glowing streetlamps, you ran up to him and wrapped him in a tight embrace, your feet on tiptoes, one of your hands raking through his hair, the other caressing his back, whispering his name over and over in relief. He’s here with me. Everything’s going to be alright.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, worried about you even at this time when you knew that he needed you more than you needed him now. “Did something happen at work?”

“No,” you whispered in his ear, still smoothing his hair, holding him close. “And let’s not talk about my work tonight.” You leaned back so you could look into his face. Your hands ran through the soft, ash-blond locks on his forehead. Now that you looked at him closely, you saw that he looked pale and drawn, utterly exhausted with his day. “Oh, baby.” You touched his face and he held your hand close to him like that, closing his eyes as he let out a huge breath.

Standing on tiptoes as the streetlamps glowed brighter and brighter in the night, as the trees shed red, gold and brown leaves and as people passed you by, each off to their respective evenings, you gave Choi Seungcheol a tender kiss.

He sighed shakily as your lips touched his. He trembled underneath your touch; it was as if all his carefully put-up defenses might fall apart in that moment.

And they did, right when you whispered against his lips, as gently as you could, “It’s not your fault.”

Tears fell from his closed eyes like the trees lining the sidewalk, weeping away their precious foliage. You felt his body heave into choking, unmanly sobs as he buried his face down your shoulder, his hold on you so tight that you felt just how much pain he was trying to release. The briefcase lay forgotten at your feet as his arms pulled you as close as he could to him.

Seungcheol couldn’t say anything, but you knew about everything already; the city may be vast and diverse, but news travels fast. There was no need for him to explain. You knew enough, and that was all you needed.

“Shhh,” you whispered, tears falling from your face as well, your chest aching at the sight of your man—this man who liked to look okay in front of you all the time—bent, broken, and crying. “You’ll be alright.” Your arms tightened around Seungcheol, and you closed your eyes. “You’ll be alright.”

There was a comforting lull as you both stayed that way for a while, not minding who saw you, not minding the time. Tonight, he needed you, and you wanted him to know that he could hold you for as long as he wanted. For as long as he needed. When you had felt like he had calmed a bit, you asked him, “Bad day?” Even though you already knew the answer, he wouldn’t be able to talk about it freely if you didn’t ask. 

You felt him smile sheepishly on your neck. “Yeah.” He sighed and buried his face onto your shoulder. “Bad day.” 

“Oh, baby.” You hugged him tighter.

“I’m sorry. I know that I’m not usually like this—”

“—I like it better when you lean on me, too.” You patted his back comfortingly, over and over. “I know that you don’t want to talk about it yet, at least, not right now, but I’ll always be ready to listen, okay?” 

“Okay.”

“No rush. But you can tell me everything when you feel ready.” You pulled away to stare into his puffy eyes. “I must say, though,” you commented with a bit of humor, “that red does not suit your eyes when it’s like that.” You smirked at him as his expression softened and his laughter came. You took out a handkerchief from your coat pocket and dabbed it underneath his eyes and his cheeks. “Doesn’t matter anyway,” you muttered lightly, knowing how much your nonsensical words would make him smile, “you still look good even when you cry.”

Seungcheol groaned. “Stop.” Then he kissed your forehead. “Thank you.” For making me feel better. You saw the words in his eyes, which began to sparkle again with a gentle light. He grinned at you, and a little bit of the sadness painted on his face seemed to dissipate. 

You grinned back at him, and you held out a hand. 

“Can we go home now?”

Seungcheol grasped your hand tightly and smiled. “Yes.”

The streetlamps glowed brighter as the dark ink of the night swallowed the brilliant colors of the dusk, and you both blended in with the people who were around you, walking towards whatever lay ahead for them in the coming night. 

Seungcheol didn’t tell you about what happened that day in court. He didn’t tell you about what had made him cry like that when you found him. He didn’t offer any explanation.

And you let it stay that way. You watched him from your perch on the duvet in your living room. He sat on the couch, poring over binders that held one-inch-thick documents and every now and then scribbling something on a legal pad. You watched him whisper to himself as he typed incessantly on his laptop. Paraphernalia from whatever he was working on was scattered on the floor in an order that only he could understand. You watched him for a time as he kept on working. This was how he was whenever something from his work would haunt him: he would meticulously go over where he went wrong (or where he thought he went wrong), and he would passionately redo that area until he was satisfied. He would anxiously (and sometimes even a bit obsessively) review each argument, each line, over and over again. 

Judging from his expression and from how he couldn't seem to stop doing this cycle of reading/writing/whispering, you knew that whatever piece of courtroom action he had brought home with him had truly gotten to him. 

You watched and watched, and then you gave up watching him. You hated seeing him become so immersed into a case because you've seen him like this before, and you hadn't liked how it affected him physically and mentally. 

You wondered about what you could do for him. Nothing came to mind. 

Sighing, you rose up from your seat, a bottle of beer in your hand. You padded softly towards the other side of the room, where an unvarnished upright piano was. 

You lifted the cover and you let your fingers run across the ivory keys. You sat down. As you stared down at the keys, a melody you’ve never sung before formed on your lips. You found the right key, and you began to play the melody that you hummed.

Slowly, scenery came to life in your mind, along with the words that painted its description beautifully.

“Autumn days of glory // autumn days of peace // red and golden splendor // in the sky and trees…”

You didn’t know where the words would lead, but you let your hands and your heart take flight. You let them come straight home where they needed to be. You let them express what you couldn't do in any other way.

“Fall is often like // a season of pure bliss // But fall is also when // change happens to things.”      

You remembered the moment you shared with Seungcheol a few hours ago, outside. You let your hands play on as more lines went out of your lips, giving voice to the emotions you had felt and painted the picture in your mind with.

“Let me touch your face // let me dry those tears // let me help you brace // for the colder winds…”

You heard footsteps behind you, but the song still flowed out of your lips as your heart poured out what it wanted to say through the music's timeless language.

“Autumn days of glory // autumn days of peace // let me stand on tiptoes // let me give you a kiss…”

You felt his arms around you, and you felt the touch of his lips on your neck. 

You found the last chord, and you leaned against him. 

You stayed like that for a long time.

Your hand caressed one of his arms as you sang softly, “I will hold you close // I will dry your tears // I will help you brace // for the colder winds…”

You felt him breathe deeply, and you felt his arms tighten around you. And when he turned your face to him to give you his most tender kiss, you knew that he had chosen to leave his books and legal pads and that case that haunted him. You knew that he had chosen, no matter how hard it was, to put the bad day behind him.

As he carried you up from that hard, unvarnished piano bench where you sat and onto the soft satin comfort of your bedroom sheets, you just knew. You just knew that no matter how bad days in the future might get, as long as you had each other, there would always be peace at the end. That both of you would always choose peace at the end.

That night, as the last of the leaves on the trees fell, and as Seungcheol's bare skin cleaved to yours, he bared his thoughts to you. You both stared at the naked truth of his anxiety, his worries. Hesitantly, at first, he let you in on his deepest fears.

That night was the beginning of honesty at its purest between you two. That night, you treated each other like the Bible where you had seen Seungcheol swear the truth and nothing but the truth countless times. That night, you both found safety in each other as you unmasked the pretenses that you both still put up for the sake of looking brave. 

That night, too, you both decided that there was no other way to overcome bad days, except to overcome it together.

When the streetlamps stopped burning brightly and another day came around, you both stepped out of the apartment, hand in hand, the warm glow on your faces obviously not coming from the sun, which had risen in a useless effort to bring warmth against the cold. 

You both went your separate ways, disappearing amongst the thousands of people who rushed about as the sleepless city burst with renewed life. 

Well, bad days, fire away, you thought to yourself as you tightened your scarf around your neck. After that night, the impending doom of a long day failed to break your spirit.

You had Seungcheol, and Seungcheol had you. Everything would be okay. You both just knew: everything would be okay.

Later that day, another golden dusk settled across the skyline. You raced down the busy sidewalks of the city again, looking out for a cab. The holiday season was almost upon you, and the air already had a festive spirit to it. As you glanced up and down the lanes of vehicles halting at the red light, your eye caught a figure to your left, among the crowds.

Waving his hand, his eyes alight, his smile as bright as it was during those first few days that leaves fell from trees, there was Seungcheol, wearing his huge coat, holding his briefcase and waiting, as he had always done, for you.

Smiling jubilantly, you ran to him, pushing against crowds of people, eager to become enveloped into his safe, warm embrace.

You were tired. It had been a very busy day: meetings, songwriting sessions, planning music video sets with other staff, and doing final checks on a concert stage took up most of your energy. But in Seungcheol’s arms, the fatigue you felt slowly washed away. 

"Baby," you whispered, closing your eyes as you leaned against his chest. You felt his kisses on your hair and you smiled. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but does that smile mean that you helped save the world today?"

At your words, you felt Seungcheol drew in a sharp breath. You felt his teeth sink into your shoulder playfully as his body reverberated with giggles.

"Please stop making me blush in public, babe!"

The forecast had said that temperatures would be at its lowest yet, but as you kept making jokes while basking in the music of Seungcheol’s laughter, you never felt the cold during that last sunset of autumn.

3 | winter, by the hearth

“And everything in time and under heaven finally falls asleep // Wrapped in blankets white, all creation shivers underneath.”

Like magic, the words you sang out perfectly described the hushed, dreamy landscape that unfurled before Seungcheol's eyes. Snowflakes in their different designs fell softly on the ground and on your nose as you walked, hand in hand, wrapped in your warmest, heaviest winter clothing. You were walking towards the huge family house that belonged to your maternal grandparents, and you were both enchanted by the frozen beauty of the vast garden you were walking through. And as if the sight of imposing life-sized statues and the creaking, barren trees lining the footpath wasn't enough, the series of mountains to the left of the property also peeked out from the stone walls, revealing their snow-covered peaks and adding a magical feeling to the scenery.

It was the first time that you would bring Seungcheol to a dinner with all of your extended family, and Seungcheol knew from the way that you smiled at him a lot that you were excited.

Excited, and something else. 

Despite the mixed expressions on your face that he could not quickly decipher to get a clear understanding of, Seungcheol returned your smiles. “How long has it been since you came here?” he asked, stepping over a mound of ice and snow that had formed along the pavement.

“Years." You looked up at him again, and you smiled wider. "It shows on my face that much, huh? How thrilled I am at having my whole family meet you?"

Seungcheol smirked. "I don't know how to get my family together like this. Do your grandparents hold gatherings like this often?"

"Not really. But they've been missing their children and us grandchildren, so…" you cleared your throat and paused. "Baby, do I look like Christmas lights are strung up on my face? Because my cousins tease me about my smile whenever I get excited.”

The brightness in your voice had dropped a notch, and Seungcheol examined your face again. “Well you do look excited, but I wouldn't worry about your face. You always look beautiful…"

You probably did not hear him, because you had let go of his hand to run ahead, towards the widespread arms of a very handsome old man who seemed to have the same light like yours in his eyes and the same humor on his smile like yours. 

Seungcheol hurried towards you and your grandfather, and he bowed respectfully. 

"So this is the lucky man," your grandfather commented humorously, shaking Seungcheol's hand heartily. "Come in, come in! Best to get out of the cold." Your grandfather shivered animatedly, and you laughed, leaning against him as you walked in. 

You seemed fine. Seungcheol smiled and entered the double doors after you.

The house was spacious and welcoming, designed with warm wood tones and bursting to life with patches of greenery here and there. The wooden beams and pillars that supported doorways were intricately carved with floral swirls and patterns, and the furniture style accentuated the vibrant yet homey tones. The smell of food and wine and the sound of logs being thrown into a fireplace filled Seungcheol's senses. Holiday music played in the background, and soft laughter from one of the rooms to the far right of the hall made Seungcheol guess that some family members have already arrived before you did. 

As he walked on, straightening his clothes, he ran smack-dab into a woman who looked a lot like you but was very much unlike you either. Seungcheol would never see you wearing a power suit in bold colors like this woman. The man behind her smiled at Seungcheol and offered a hand.

"Oooh, so this is my cousin Y/N's boyfriend!" The woman grinned. She held out a well-manicured hand. "I'm Sana, and this is my husband, Minhyuk. You’re Seungcheol, right?"

"Yes. Very nice to meet you," Seungcheol answered, his face lighting up when he saw you with a smile on your face, walking towards Sana. Sana is one of my favorite cousins, you had told him earlier. She's the loudest among all of us, but she's a really good person who took care of me a lot when I was younger.

Sana leaned close to Seungcheol, and he was once again struck by how her brown eyes looked a lot like yours. But hers, he observed, had a mischievous glint, while yours always had a gentle light in them. 

"You'd better be prepared for this family dinner," Sana whispered conspiratorially, "and don't let your guard down. Watch your manners--"

"--oh, come on, Sana," you groaned, pulling Seungcheol away, laughter in your voice. "It won't be that bad!"

"Don't say I didn't warn you! And sit beside me during dinner!" Sana's red-lipped smile made Seungcheol suddenly wonder what you both were talking about. You were both inside the parlor now, where drinks were being served and the people inside were more formal: quieter and older members of the family were either seated or standing around, wine glasses in their hands, conversing as they studied the portraits that hung around the room. A young man sat by one of the massive floor-to-ceiling windows of the parlor, his fingers flying across the ivory keys of the grand piano. The fire crackled as a man added more logs. Your grandfather was nowhere in sight.

Seungcheol wondered why your smile did not reach your eyes once these people started to come and greet you with their hugs and kisses. He wanted to ask if you were okay because you had grown quieter. Occasionally glancing at you as he introduced himself to members of the family, he noticed that your whole countenance had changed. 

The smiles and the laughter coming from you still rang true in his ears, but as your hands clasped before you as you engaged in conversation with an aunt of yours, you showed him a side of you that he had never seen before: very composed, very somber, very careful. The only relief that seemed to show on your face was when your parents finally came in, and Seungcheol was glad for the respite from your strained expressions and gestures. Your smile at them as they embraced you warmly was the only smile that reached your eyes throughout the whole introductory phase of the gathering.

"I'm so glad you're here, Seungcheol!" your mother said cheerfully, adding a warmth that Seungcheol hadn't felt in the room since you had both walked in. In fact, of all the people he had greeted today, nobody he'd met in this side of your family eased the tension he had been feeling since your voice changed on the way in. "My family has been waiting to see you for ages!"

Seungcheol kissed your mother's cheek and shook your father's hand, engaging in pleasant small talk with them. He had spent a lot of holidays and vacations with your parents, and they had been very enjoyable ones. In this fifth year of your relationship, though, you had quietly asked him if he wanted to go see your grandparents with you. He had known from the expression on your face that seeing your grandparents was an important family affair; and he knew now, too, why you had looked so anxious. 

Everyone walked into the dining room once the clock in the parlor struck six o'clock. A long table heaped with food and beverages on glassware greeted all of you. Seating yourselves, Seungcheol held your hand underneath the table, squeezing it reassuringly. You squeezed his back.

Seungcheol's eyes caught Sana's on the far side of the room. She was sitting on the opposite end of the table with Minhyuk, and she cocked her head to the side, mouthing words that looked like, "Sit here, you two!", gesturing at a couple of seats beside them that soon got taken by another cousin and his parents. Sana made a face, and Seungcheol grinned. You were busy talking with another cousin, Samuel, who had also brought his partner with him. Seated at the far end of the table, near the empty seat of your grandfather, Seungcheol waited for dinner to begin.

Clinks of glasses and forks and knives slicing through meat and spoons ladling soup were the background music to the words that this huge family exchanged. Laughter rippled through the room, and slowly, the tension and formality that shaped conversations a while ago stopped.

"Is that Counselor Choi from the City Prosecutor’s Office?"

The matronly voice made everyone's heads turn, and all laughter died down.

Seungcheol saw your grandmother for the first time. 

Dinner had long since started, but the way she gracefully sat down and the way her shoulders were set back made everyone excuse her for being late. Your grandfather silently took his place beside you, and you exchanged sweet smiles with him. Seungcheol watched as your grandfather leaned towards you, and he heard words like, “…talk to her…” come from his lips. Nervous energy engulfed the dinner table, and Seungcheol's ears must have been fooling him, because every clink and scrape of knives, and even the music, seemed to stop. 

Your grandmother, beautiful despite her age, laid her eyes upon Seungcheol. Her eyes were neither kind nor cruel. The aloofness there could have thrown any stranger off, but the spark of interest that lit up her eyes compelled Seungcheol to return her gaze and to answer.

"Yes, ma'am." He could have called her something else, but this aura she exuded seemed to ask for something that formal. "Thank you for inviting me."

When she smiled, her expression was guarded as well. "My granddaughter is very fortunate to have met you. And you're welcome. Please, eat."

After greeting the other girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives seated around, the rest of the conversation was directed at other members of the family. Seungcheol learned that this side of your family was involved in medical and tourism careers. You were the only one he knew that had a different path from the rest of them. This hadn’t been obvious when he spent time with your parents, but on this table, careers and what you are doing to succeed in that career seemed to be very important. Careers steered the conversation.

"Ahyoung is planning on setting up a pediatric practice, Mother,” one aunt said as she set down her spoon. “She wasn't able to come because she had to tie up some loose ends with the clinic renovation."

"Working through the holidays? Ahyoung must be wanting to surpass my record as a workaholic." Chuckles around the table could be heard at this amusing remark from Grandmother. "The president of the hospital in that town is a friend of mine who could help her establish her practice. Tell her to give me a call so I can help her get in touch with him. How about you, Jaemin? I saw you on TV a week ago. You announced the opening of a...what was that...a museum?"

"A shrine recreation, Grandmother. We're currently in the process of recreating an entire temple from the Silla era. My archaeology team hit a huge find down south when they found the remains of what we initially thought was a hidden metropolis in the mountains. Turns out that was this temple where priestesses tried to read the stars—”

“—if you need a priestess to make your shrine look more realistic, you can hire me." Sana broke in as she winked at Jaemin, who immediately looked flustered. Younger cousins of yours immediately began doing their best to hold back their laughter and Seungcheol felt you giggle quietly beside him, too, as you drank your glass of wine. 

"Sana, instead of ridiculing your older brother, why don't you tell us about the latest findings of your research? And congratulations, darling. My former colleagues in Gynecology have been telling me that your research will be of a huge benefit to their practice.”

"Well, we are still working on developing this fertility treatment, as you know already, and we have the goal of obtaining a much higher success rate than in vitro fertilization. So, for example, if the success rate of a thirty-five-year-old woman is only at thirty-nine-point-five per cent, we would try to raise that bar by giving her a fifty per cent threshold of success. It’s still at a very experimental stage at this point, Grandmother, but the labs have been working on it incessantly...” 

Seungcheol stopped listening at that point. He focused on his food and on not letting go of your hand. Their topics were interesting and he would occasionally get roped into the conversation, but Seungcheol couldn't help but despair about the fact that there wasn’t talk about anything else except work and their different professions and future plans for their businesses or companies. It was the holidays, for goodness’ sake. There weren't many other stories shared aside from work life. Everyone seemed to be comfortable with that kind of setting, but it cut through Seungcheol deeply. Especially when he noticed that the questions didn’t get to you. 

The dinner passed like that.

Grandmother rose from her seat, her height, willowy frame and white dress making her look even more imposing. Silence once again reigned, and she spoke.

“Y/N, may I speak to you in private for a moment?” It wasn’t a question. She spun on her heel and left.

Seungcheol knew that she expected you to follow. And you did, whispering, “I’ll be back” before rushing out of the dining room. When his eyes roamed around the table, he saw that everyone was looking at him, and he put his fork down. He didn’t know what to think of what just happened. Your mother followed you out soon after.

"Don't worry," Samuel said reassuringly. "Grandmother may look like a very hard woman, but she's actually soft on the inside--"

"--and she has the softest spot for Y/N." Sana smiled. "She would never admit to playing favorites, but we all know in this table that she loves Y/N the most."

At a later time, while relishing dessert, your history with your grandmother began to unfold from the table, where only your closest cousins remained, and Seungcheol listened to them intently.

They told him the story about a grandmother who wanted nothing but the best of life for her family. A grandmother who had done her best to live a life that she knew would become a good example to everyone who followed her. Despite her stern appearance, she wasn’t the rich and evil grandmother who forced everyone to do things her way. Surprisingly, she was one who encouraged her family members to pursue what they loved to do.

“You see, even though most of us work in the medical field, we didn’t get these jobs because someone told us to, or because the woman we look up to in this family. We became doctors and businessmen because we wanted these jobs. Our paths turned out this way, and we’re enjoying ourselves.” Sana paused, letting her words sink first. “All our parents and our grandparents asked of us was that we pursue our dreams intending to succeed. And that was where she and Y/N took a bad turn.”

“Everyone in this family had turned out to be exactly who they wanted to be.” The unspoken words after that sentence held weight. All except one: you.

“Grandmother just couldn’t understand why Y/N did not choose to become the singer that she wanted to be. And what made her more furious was the fact that she doesn’t see how good she could be.”

Music from the piano drifted into the dining hall. Someone was singing carols, and Seungcheol was jolted from his reverie when he heard soft laughter coming from the parlor as well. It was then that he realized that most of the family had gone back to the parlor, where it was evident that they all loved to spend time together.

“Only one person plays beautifully like that,” Jaemin remarked. Seungcheol noted the ring of envy and admiration on his voice as you all listened to the strains of a piano. “You’re a very lucky man. My cousin isn’t just someone you meet out there.”

“Which is why she’s the favorite,” Hyorin, another cousin of yours, commented. “In a family of doctors and business magnates, she stands out.” Hyorin stood up, bringing her glass of wine with her. “I’m going there to listen.”

Sitting on the piano, fingers making music in a way that spoke to the soul, was you. It was one thing to just play music. It was another thing when that music communicates with its listeners, making them feel something. People were humming the carols that you played, but you didn’t pay heed to them. Seungcheol knew that once you were seated on that bench, you were in another world entirely. You smiled at your relatives as they all sang out songs and gave her requests. Music tied you all together and brought out the beauty of the human inside. Work was forgotten as you sang together. From the corner of his eye, as he joined the men in belting out “Smile Flower” by a classic boy group from more than fifty years ago, Seungcheol saw your grandmother smiling—genuinely—and nodding with your parents, who were also looking at you.

A change of key quieted the room, and everyone tried to figure out what the song you were playing. But nobody could tell what it was, only that it was in A minor. They waited for you to sing.

And when you did, a song they’ve never heard before, a song Seungcheol had never heard before from you, rose from your lips.

“Tossing out the lines that were never truly mine // Throwing to the fire what was never truly fine // I am in a place where no doubt and fears can get me // I am safe tonight with lover and family // by the firelight // by the firelight // I could be me.”

Later, when you and Seungcheol had gone home and you were both staring into the hearth which served as the only light in the living room and warmed you both from the cold of the night, Seungcheol mustered the courage to ask you what your grandmother had told you when she pulled you aside right after dinner.

You smiled and said simply, “She doesn’t want me to become an assistant producer anymore.” Your hand laced with Seungcheol’s underneath the pale blue quilt wrapped around you both. “She wants me to get my music out there to the world. She said she wanted me to stop hesitating about my future.”

“And what do you think about her advice?”

You turned to him, and your eyes were moist, your lips trembling with emotion as you smiled. “Baby,” you said gently, leaning on his shoulder, “it’s not that simple.” You sighed. “And I know I might sound like such a coward to you, but I have a reason for not pursuing a singing career. Besides, I think I’m already too old for that kind of life.”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol playfully acknowledged, “twenty-seven is too old for that kind of life.”

You laughed, but your eyes remained sad. “Consider that a sub-reason as to why I don’t want to be a singer. I know that I’m breaking my family’s heart by choosing not to become one because they want to see me actually doing something that I love. But you see, I’m not really in that bad a position. I’m doing something close to what I truly love. And for me, that is enough.”

Seungcheol held you closer with his one arm. “But what is the reason why you don’t want to be a singer? I’ve always wondered why, too. I didn’t ask you before about this because I didn’t want you—”

“—I don’t want a life where my most beautiful escape—my music—will most likely end up being my darkest prison.” You weren’t looking at him, but Seungcheol knew from your voice that you meant your words, and you wanted him to understand. “I’ve seen it happen. Every day, I work with talented people who were brave enough to let the world see their lives and listen to their music. I help them shine like the stars they are, but I always witness them burn too brightly and die out too fast in the end. And I don’t want that kind of life for myself. I want my music to be mine alone and to whoever I want to give it to. I don’t want my art to be pressured by people’s expectations and desires. I don’t want that kind of life.”

“Tossing out the lines that were never truly mine,” he sang. “Throwing to the fire what was never truly fine. I am in a place where no doubt and fears can get me. I am safe tonight with lover and family. By the firelight, I could be me.” Seungcheol looked at you. “Is that why you sang this to your family? So that they won’t worry about you being miserable because you haven’t fulfilled your ultimate dream?”

You looked at him humorously. “My ultimate dream is to be your wife and the mother of your children, dummy.”

“Oh.” Seungcheol blushed. “I forgot about that part.”

You let out a huge breath. “But you’re right. I just wanted them to know that I’m okay with my life. At the same time, though, I can’t stop wondering if I am missing out on something that I know I want to try deep in my heart.”

“So try doing it.”

It was when you hesitated when he said those words that Seungcheol knew.

He kissed your temple gently. “Baby, I think you should at least try.” Seungcheol stared at you as you pondered what he said in your mind. He knew that a million thoughts, pros and cons and other factors were probably racing around in your head at this point, and he didn’t want you to do that. “Come on. On the count of three, answer my question: do you want to sing your songs out there in the world or not? One.” You didn’t budge. “Two.” You gripped his hand tighter. “Thr—”

“—yes.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and you looked at him, staring deeply into his eyes. “But I’m afraid of the cost it would ask of me.”

“The greater the risk, the greater the joy,” Seungcheol commented casually as he laid you down on the couch, smiling as he kissed you. “Try it.”

“Don’t you think I’m too old? Or that I look too—”

“—This is not about what I want. This is about what you want. Your life. Your future. Your dreams.” He gazed at you again, and he felt the same flush that had crept on his face when he first heard you sing, up in the mountains, in an orphanage. So many things had happened since then. And he pictured you in his head, living your dream, casting the same spell that you had enchanted him with on thousands of people.

A performer, not a producer. That’s who my granddaughter is. Your grandmother’s last words before you both went home lingered on his head as he kissed you. Making music and performing that music is what she does best, and what she has always wanted. Help her get to her dreams. Don’t let her give in to her fears.

By the hearth, as he made love to you—his hands planted on your hips, his painfully delicious rhythm bringing tears to your eyes—he could not get over the truth that, with or without the spotlight on you, you were an amazing woman already. And he knew that he would continue seeing you grow into someone he will always be proud to love and to be with. But in his mind, he could not shake off the image he saw of you, of who you could be if you just became brave enough to.

“What does your heart say?” he asked you, his hand running up and down your bare skin, your limbs tangled together. The fire in the hearth had gone down into sizzling embers and the quilt barely covered you both, but your skin pressed against each other was warm with the afterglow of your lovemaking. “What do you truly want to do?”

You looked up at him with no hesitation, his heart stopped to beat for a moment that felt like forever: because there, in the sparks of light that burst to life in your eyes, he could see the woman you are, and the woman you could be, evolving into one.

“Baby, I want to try.”                

 4 | spring, and through the seasons after

The train of your dress fanned around you in its lacy magnificence, and the sun could not help itself but touch the beautiful, delicate material with its glorious beams. The soft grass underneath your feet sighed as you passed, and bursts of color from the petals strewn by your nieces gave a beautiful contrast to the peaceful green of the grass and the muted white tones of your dress. You hear people’s voices as you pass them by, their whispers of congratulations and the flashes of cameras. You looked to the horizon, on the sleeping waters of the early morning ocean, which reflected the rosy blush of the first dawn of spring.

You heard the piano start its music, and you hear the viola and the cello in their sweet duet. You smiled at your friends and your family as you passed them by. The crown of flowers in your hair rustled as the wind blew, and your veil flowed along with your hair as that touch of breeze passed.

One more step until you reach him.

When your eyes locked with the man that you will vow to love and to cherish and to be with forevermore, flashes of seasons past appeared in your mind: summers where drops of sun would scorch your skin, and where the smell of petrichor would linger after brief showers of rain; the crunch of leaves beneath your boots, and the colder winds that you would brace against during autumn; the calming hush when everything falls asleep and shivers under blankets of ice and snow; and the first days of spring, like this one, wherein what was frozen through would turn back to healthy shades of green, awakening with a new purpose.

As more memories came to your mind, a song formed in your heart and became written on your mind as you took in Seungcheol’s smiling eyes, brimming with tears as your hand touched his.

“Hold me close, darling // never let go // make this feeling last forever and a day // let’s stay.” These words, for that one summer night, in an old town, where you slow-danced to guitar and dulcimer strings as lanterns swayed with the wind. “Run your fingers through my hair // say you won’t care // if this feeling lasts forever and a day // let’s stay...”

“I love you so much // that I couldn’t keep it in anymore. // I need you so // like the air I breathe to live one more day, so stay…” These words, for that time when you remembered yourself frantically running across sidewalks as the golden glow of streetlights blended with the colors of an autumn dusk, and crashing into the safe, strong arms that will continue to hold you for as long as this life lasts and after.

“You keep setting my soul on fire // you make everything worthwhile…” These words, for that winter night when you felt the blazing sparks of the fire by the hearth of your house, where you decided to take the risk of burning brightly like the stars with your music. “You’re the sun that made me shine like this, // you’re the love that I just can’t resist, so please stay…” These words, for all the moments that you had doubted and he had believed in you as you made your dreams come true. These words, because from the privacy of the firelight by the hearth to the adulation of thousands as you stood beneath spotlights, he had been there.

“Love, let’s stay…Stay this way.”

Each memory and each turn of the seasons that passed through your mind evoked a variety of emotions within you. And you know in your heart that the reason why you could recall them so vividly and feel them so profoundly is that you did not create them alone.

Your eyes take in the man whose companionship had completed the scenes in your head. Through the seasons, he had been with you. He had laughed with you. He had cried with you. He had grown with you. And unlike the seasons which come and go, he stayed.

And he never left.

As you said your vows and exchanged rings and as you sealed the promises made with a kiss, you knew: through the seasons, he had truly, and sincerely, loved you.

- Super-Late Leanne.  ⏰

[atinydise]

Secret admirer

Genre: Angst.

❦ Pairing: Seonghwa.

❦ Word count: 7k7.

❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋

❦ Masterlist.

You opened the classroom door slowly. You checked the whole room, trying to see if someone was there. When you made sure that you were alone, you rushed to the desk at the middle of the room. You put down your bag on the floor and looked for the things you brought. You pulled out a blueberry lollipop and the note that you wrote this morning. “You were really good yesterday. Congratulations on your first win,” you read quietly to be sure you didn’t write any grammar fault. As usual, you stuck the post-it and the lollipop at the corner of the table. Just after that you left quietly. Nobody could see you or for sure, your secret will be revealed.

Seongwha got in the class a bit earlier than the lesson time. He dislikes being late. “Oh, good morning Seonghwa Oppa*!” Greeted one of his classmates. He bowed politely, “Hello Min Hori.” “Someone left another note on your desk.” She said pointing at the post-it. Seonghwa walked to his seat. He took off the note and read it. “You should find this person and ask her to stop,” said Min Hori behind him. Seonghwa raised a brow, “why? It’s not annoying me.” “But it’s been 2 months now. You might be-“ The boy faced her, “it’s okay.” Min Hori didn’t reply when she felt the seriousness on his voice. Seonghwa knew that Min Hori was interested by him. She was pretty, totally his type of girl but it was clear that she was interested of his popularity since he’s an idol. “Well. See you later Oppa!” She said, joining back her group of friends. Seonghwa sat on his seat, still staring at the paper on his hand. Who could write that to him? It’s been few months and he couldn’t figure it out. One part of him thought that it was just a fangirl that was trying to get his attention but who would keep it anonymous so long. He stared at the lollipop. It was a new taste. He always got taste as strawberry, cherry or apple. But this one was unexpected. It was not an important thing, but he lingered on it. He put the post-it in his book and tried to focus on his incoming lesson. But for sure, he would try to find who’s writing these notes for him.

The next day, you were a bit more late than usual but still earlier than the other student. You rushed to Seonghwa’s classroom. When you settled everything, you stared at it. You didn’t know it would hurt you so much. You stopped to breathe when you heard someone talking in the hallway. You freaked out and excited the room as fast as possible. You ran to the 3rd floor of the campus and acted like nothing happened. The only thing you ignored was that Seonghwa saw you exciting the class. He couldn’t believe that you were his secret admirer. He noticed your sometimes in the hallway, but you never talked to him or show any admiration to him. Seonghwa was in your English class. He noticed that you were pretty good at it but never talked to you. If he knew, he would talk to you the first day. He loved how you were studying seriously but having fun with your friends in the same time. Without bothering anyone. Seonghwa would never think that you got any interest for him. The first day after the vacations almost all his classmate were congratulating him for debuting. He remembered that you didn’t. You got in the class and sat next to the window. You were acting like you didn’t or never cared about him while you were secretly giving him a cheerful note and a candy. The young boy entered in the classroom. He immediately saw these 2 items on his desk. The lollipop taste was similar as yesterday but something in the note intrigued him. “Have a nice day. I hope that you will be happy for the rest of your life. Thank you for being you! PS: You are doing really good!” Seonghwa tilted his head. This note seemed different from the other one. You were still rooting for him, but you seemed sad. He read over and over the note, trying to figure out what was going on. “Good morning Seonghwa!” Greeted Min Hori, getting in the classroom. He bowed to her and focused back on the note. The way you seemed sad when you wrote that, made him confused. “Min Hori,” he called her, finally facing the girl. “Yes, Oppa?” She smiled, happy to get his attention. “Do you know who’s Y/N?” He stared at her, desperately waiting for an answer. “Y/N?” She repeated. “Hum no… I don’t know her.” “Okay…” he smiled. “Why? Is she the person who’s writing you?” She asked pointing at the blue post-it on Seonghwa’s hand. “No,” he lied. Min Hori sighed and sat on her seat, being ready to study. Seonghwa was staring back at the note. He needed to talk to you at Monday. The whole day, Seonghwa couldn’t focus well on his lessons. He felt like something strange would happen. He couldn’t figure it out if it was good or bad.

The next Monday, Seonghwa woke up early. He was so frustrated that he hadn’t slept well the whole weekend. He couldn’t focus well on his practice too. When his teammates asked him if everything was okay, he just nodded and said that he was tired. But they were not stupid. It was just a matter of time before they confront him. When he grabbed his school bag, he accidentally tossed the pile of book in the floor, waking up his roommate, Hongjoong. “Hwa…” he complained turning around in his bed. “What are you doing? It’s early….” “I need to talk to this girl.” Hongjoong sat up, “What? The girl who’s writing these notes? You will finally talk to her?” Seonghwa nodded, “see you later Joong.” “What? Wait Hwa!” Yelled Hongjoong, trying to stop his member. But he already left, without paying attention to the leader. The eldest member left the dorm, quickly as possible. Outside, it was still dark. Only the streetlights were turned on. Seonghwa was walking faster than usual. Anticipating your first meet. But finally, he stopped. What could he say to you? Does he need to stay serious? Or does he need to show you that he liked your little attentions? He started to freak out. “What should I do?” he whispered. Seonghwa stayed still, alone in the street. Thinking about how he needs to act. He blew deeply to calm his heart, beating in his chest crazily. He collected all the braveness he needed and walked to the campus. In front of his classroom, he opened the door slowly, trying to see if you were there already. But the room was empty.

He sat on his desk, waiting for you.

But you never came.

At first, he thought that you saw him and decided to run away, but he didn’t hear any footstep or noises that can show your presence. He waited like that for almost 1 hour. All his classmates got in, one by one. But you never appeared. “Hello Oppa!” Greeted Mingi. Seonghwa didn’t reply, to lost on his thoughts. “Oppa?” repeated Min Hori. Finally, Seonghwa lifted his head to look at her. “Oh hi,” he bowed politely. She smiled, “do you spent a good weekend?” He simply nodded. “Oh, I asked my friends if they knew this Y/N-“ she started. “Really?” he shouted, standing up. “Wow. You are really into her.” She said, surprised and disappointed by his enthusiasm. Seonghwa blushed lightly, “Huh… No. I don’t even know her.” “Sure…” she whispered. “Whatever. She was in 4th grade and had only few friends here.” “Why are you talking about her in past tense?” He raised a brow. “Oh.” She only replied, embarrassed. “What’s going on?” “She moved out of the town during the weekend.” She explained. “What? Moved out where?” asked Seonghwa. “No one knows not even one of her closest friends here…” Seonghwa sat down back on his chair. He couldn’t believe that it was happening to him. He couldn’t say that the was devastated since he didn’t know you well. Even not at all. But he was sad. Really sad to know that he wouldn’t get your cheerful notes anymore. Sad to realize that he wouldn’t get the chance to talk to you, at least one time. He would never know why you left these notes and candies for him every day. Were you in love with him? Do you wanted to be his friend? Seonghwa sighed, brushing his hair, frustrated. “I can search a bit more for you if you want.” Said Min Hori, seeing how the boy were disappointed. He shook his head, “It’s fine. You did a lot already.” Seonghwa stood up, grabbing his bag. “Where are you going?” asked Min Hori. “The lesson will start soon.” Seonghwa bowed to her, “I prefer going to back to the dorm. I’m not feeling well. I caught a cold.” He lied. “Seonghwa Oppa…” “Don’t worry for me. See you tomorrow!” He smiled, leaving the classroom.

Knowing that you moved out, felt like an electric shock for him. All the way back to the dorm, the only thing he could think was you. He ignored why you got this impact on him. Was it because you ignored him? That you made him feel like he was a normal human being and not an idol? Seems like your attention attracted him more than he thought. He stopped at the crossroad. Waiting the green light to be on, to cross the street. As he was sighing of frustration, a van stopped in front of him. Turning his head to look at it, like an instinct, he spotted you. His heart missed a beat. You were looking right at him in shock. Probably freaking out, thinking that he would come and scold you for being a stalker. In reality, he was thinking the opposite thing. Seonghwa was froze, his body wanted to run to you, but see you randomly like this, feels like a dream. He was looking right at you, not breaking the eye-contact you had. “Y/N,” he whispered. The sound of the honk coming from his right, bring him back in the reality. He stepped back safely on the street. The van drive away. His eyes stared at the vehicle leaving. Will he be able to see you again one day?

*Oppa: means “older brother of a female person”. Or older brother, very close friend who is older (but not much older), romantic interest, boyfriend, and sometimes even husband.

[buckthegrump]

Enchanted

Summary: Balls bore you half to death. And the suitors that come from across the lands seeking your hand in marriage all seem to have forgotten about human decency. Until one day it doesn’t seem so bleak. Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Warnings: legit pure fluff, swearing but what else is new

Word Count: 2029

A/n: I wrote this au a million years ago and now @sunmoonandbucky​ demanded that i post it rude so here it is.

The only thing you hated about being royalty were balls. Well, not the only thing, but they were at the top of the shortlist. They were always the same old thing. You were forced to dance with diplomats and princes from all different lands, some of them cute, but all of them had the same stick up their ass. Assuming that you would fall head over heels for them because they seemed to forget that you were in line for your own thrown and didn’t need theirs.

So you expected tonight to be the same; only today, your father was insisting that you find someone with whom you could at the very least tolerate. It was your mother’s birthday ball, and the two of them were getting worried because they didn’t think that any one person should rule on their own. They seemed to forget that they had gotten lucky when they found each other and almost instantly fell in love.

A ruler should have someone who knew them better than anyone else, someone who could help them see every aspect of their decision, someone who understood what they were going through. That and it was customary for a kingdom to have two rulers in fear that if only one person ruled, they would become a tyrant.

They had a point, but damn, every one of the “suitable” suitors made you want to volunteer to go dragon hunting. 

“But mama,” you protested as you walked behind her. She was telling you that your father was right and that if you didn’t find someone tonight that you could at least live with, they would choose for you.

“No, Y/n, I have heard the last of your protests.” She stopped walking abruptly and turned towards you. “Now I have invited new kingdoms from even further away. None of the boys coming tonight are in line for their own throne, so you can literally pick any of them.”

“The fact that you called them boys just now makes me apprehensive about this whole thing,” you said, and your mother sighed heavily.

“Fine, none of the MEN coming tonight are in line for their own throne. Now please put your father's mind at ease and just pick one.” She turned and began walking again.

“What if they are all the worst people in the world, and not even papa likes them?” You challenged, and she stopped and turned again this time with slightly more rage.

“Fine, if by some act of the universe every single one of the men,” she stressed that last word for you. “Is no better than that Duke of-”

“Troutdale?” You finished, and your mother audibly gags, a very unqueenly gesture, but no one but yourself was paying attention to her.

“Oh, don’t even say it.” She rolled her eyes. “Then yes, you can put off finding someone until the next ball, but you are running out of time, child.” 

You smiled as she stormed out of the grand hall. The servants were hard at work, rushing around getting everything done in time for the ball. You turned knowing that you can easily convince your father that every suitor that comes tonight was no good. It was your mother that you had to be more mindful of.

/

The ball was in full swing, and your mother looked less than pleased with you. You had turned away every single suitor that had come forward so far, which was somewhere around 10. Your father was still hopeful. He looked like he had a secret that he was hiding from you.

“Y/n, there’s someone I want you to meet,” He said, and you quickly found an excuse to get out of it.

“In a minute papa, I am famished.” You turned and rushed towards the food. You made it to the table and grabbed a goblet of wine and quickly down it. You turned, and from across the room, you see a man with bright blue eyes and even brighter smile who was laughing at something someone was saying.

The two of you locked eyes for a moment, and he gave you a nod to acknowledge he saw you and turned back to the conversation he was having.

“Did someone catch your eye?” You turned to see Taylor, your best friend, smirking at you.

“Oh hush now,” you glared. “He was just laughing, I’ve never seen anyone laugh at a ball before.”

“Well, that’s because you are never looking.” She laughed. “You’re always trying to run off every suitor that comes knocking at your door.”

She paused, and you grabbed another goblet of wine. “Go talk to him.”

You choked, and wine almost came out your nose. “Excuse me?”

“Go speak to him.” She took the goblet and whispered into your ear. “You might miss your chance.”

“Chance at what?”

“Just go,” She ordered as she walked away with your wine.

“Taylor,” you halfheartedly called after her. “That’s my wine.”

When you looked back to where he was standing, he was gone. You sighed, grab some food, and head back to your father to meet the next boy. Your mother had been wrong so far, all of the ‘men’ she promised had turned out to be spoiled boys.

“You are a very hard woman to track down,” Someone said behind you, and you turned to see the blue-eyed man.

“Am I an elk?” Your question seemed to shock him.

“Pardon?”

“Well, you said I was difficult to track down. Are you comparing me to the game that you hunt wherever you’re from?”

“Forgive me, allow me to introduce myself,” He bowed slightly. “Bucky.”

“Y/n.” You curtsied. “So, what brings you here?”

“My father is on business here, trying to get me to take up his trade.” He smiled and cocked an eyebrow. “And you?”

“My mother is trying to marry me off.”

“You don’t seem like the kind of lady who will be married off.”

“Not easily, no, much to her disappointment.” A prideful smile came across your face.

“Would you like to get out of here?” He stepped closer. “Just for a moment?”

You think for a second and glanced over to your parents who are queueing up the next suitors. “Yes.” You breathed.

Bucky offered you his arm, and you took it. He led you through the crowd and out of the hall.

“Where are you going?” Taylor asked you just as you were about to walk out the door. “Should I be concerned?”

“Just cover for me, ok? I’ll be back soon.” You pleaded.

“Fine, but don’t do anything stupid.” She said, letting you go.

/

“So, this is the first time out of your home country?” You asked him as the two of you walked down the moonlit path in the garden.

“Yes, until recently, my family was concerned,” he chose his words carefully. “They thought that if we left, then we would fall ill and never recover. How about you, is this your first time to Rosedale?”

“No, I live here.”

“Would you ever move away?” He looked at you.

“That’s not really an option for me. Would you leave your home?” You took a turn that led you to a swing where you take a seat, and Bucky remained standing.

“Well, I might, but that’s not really up to me either.” He smiled sadly.

“If you could stay, would you?”

“No, I would just like a say in the matter is all.”

“Ok, let’s talk about something else. What is the royal family like where you’re from?”

“Oh well,” he blew out air. “They are very kind for the most part. They have odd quirks about them that not everyone understands. And the King and Queen are rather paranoid, although there’s no real good reason as to why. What about here? What are they like?”

“Oh well, the King and Queen are fair enough. They try their best to make sure that everything is fair and equal, but that’s not always what people think it is.” You looked at him from the side of your eye. “But the princess is something else. She is very stubborn and rather impossible if you ask me or anyone for that matter.”

“That’s not what I heard.” 

You looked at him. Trying to keep your demeanor neutral. “What did you hear?”

“Well, I heard that she is very kind to those whom she trusts and likes. And that she isn’t impossible, she’s just protective of the ones she loves and herself.”

“You’ve been here a very short time to know so much.” You stood. “Shows you’re resourceful.”

“Well, I find that if you ask servants about the people they work for, they are quite honest. If you give them the right amount of money.” In the distance, the bells could be heard ringing marking the start of a new hour. 

“We should be getting back,” You said, he offered you his arm again, and you took it. 

The two of you walked back to the ball, occasionally talking about something or another. When you got back, Bucky dropped your arm and faced you.

“I have thoroughly enjoyed myself tonight. It was enchanting to meet you.” He lightly kissed your hand and disappeared into the crowd.

Taylor rushed up beside you and grabbed your arm. She started ushering you back towards your parents. “They kept asking me where you were, so I told them that you went to tend to a matter in the kitchen. I didn’t come up with the actual situation, so if they ask, that’s up to you. But they have a whole line of men for you to meet. None of them are as nearly as cute or charming as the one you were just with, so put on a brave face and shoot them all down.” She patted your hand. “You’re good at that.”

“Thanks, Taylor,” you deadpanned and walked back to your parents. 

“Ah, there you are Y/n,” your father held out an arm to you, and you walked towards him. “I trust that the situation in the kitchen has been dealt with?”

“Of course, father.” You plastered the fakest smile you can manage. 

“Great, because I have more people I want you to meet.” He gestured over to the line, and you at that moment, wanted to die just a little bit.

/

Your already dwindling patient was vanishing very quickly due to the amount of bullshit that was being said by the suitors your father was introducing, and much to your surprise, your mother, was agreeing with you.

“Truly Travis, the men you have chosen are abominable,” your mother said, not so quietly in between men.

“Well, Gladis, I doubt you could’ve done any better with the selection that we have tonight.” Your father tried to defend himself.

“You invited all of these families. I, however, only invited one, and I’ve known the mother since childhood.” Your mother smiled.

“Oh yes, well, not all of us had outgoing and charming parents,” your father said bitterly.

“Don’t I know it.” You blurt, earning a glare from your parents. “So mother, when is your ‘perfect fit’ going to introduce himself.”

“Soon,” she said with the look of glee still present on her face. “Very soon.”

You went through way too many suitors in the next half hour. Some of them weren’t even eligible, you were pretty sure your father was just grasping at a dream he wasn’t sure he could have any more. 

“Ahh, yes, here they come,” your mother said.

“Your grace, King, and Queen Barnes from Artendale.” 

“Gladis,” Mrs. Barnes said. “It’s been a long time.”

“Hopefully, next time will be in the near future,” You caught your mother winking at her.

“Shall we introduce our son?” The King asked. “James Barnes, Prince of Artendale.”

To your surprise, Bucky came into view, and you were at a loss for words. He smiled at you, and you return it.

“Princess,” Bucky said, and it almost sounded like a question.

“Prince James.” You could feel the pride radiating off of your mother. You hated to admit it, but she might have been right.

[yourdailykitsch]

Taylor Kitsch on 'Shadowplay' and Taking on Darker Roles: "It's the Most Fulfilling"

Kitsch plays a Brooklyn cop sent to post-War Berlin in the period crime drama, which premieres at the CanneSeries TV festival.

For a fan of Friday Night Lights, it's hard to sit across from Taylor Kitsch and not picture high-school bad boy Tim Riggins, the character — part womanizer, part wounded man-child — Kitsch played for five seasons in the acclaimed, Emmy-winning NBC drama.

But Kitsch has spent the last decade of his career carving out a darker path, with stand-out roles in Ryan Murphy's TV movie The Normal Heart, on the second season of True Detective, and as cult leader David Koresh in Paramount Network's Waco.

For his latest role — as Max McLaughlin in Shadowplay — Kitsch has again gone deep and dark. The period crime drama, from the creators of Nordic noir series The Bridge, sees Kitsch playing a Brooklyn cop assigned to set up a police force in the chaos of post-World War II Berlin and to take down the Capone of post-war Berlin, "Engelmacher" Gladow (played by Sebastian Koch). Max is also on a mission to save his brother Moritz (Logan Marshall-Green). Both siblings share a common, childhood trauma, but have taken very different paths. Moritz, who served in World War II, has returned to Germany and begun to hunt down unrepentant Nazis, killing them in increasingly brutal ways.

Michael C. Hall, Nina Hoss, Tuppence Middleton, and Mala Emde co-star. Kitsch spoke to The Hollywood Reporter's European Bureau Chief Scott Roxborough while on a break from shooting Shadowplay in Prague. The series, from Studiocanal’s Tandem Productions and Canada’s Bron Studios, premieres at TV festival CanneSeries.

There have been a lot of movies, and TV series, made about World War II, but almost nothing from when Shadowplay is set, the immediate aftermath of the war. I had no idea what things were like in '46. I don't know what I thought but it wasn't this. The violence didn't stop after the war. Everything just went rogue. I got here a few weeks before we started shooting and went to Berlin to see all the sites for myself. I took a week and went to Auschwitz to study that. You can look at these pictures all day but being there you have a sense of the gravity of it all.

This series seems much bigger, and more ambitious than much of the television you've done in the past. [Creators Mans Marlind's and Bjorn Stein's] vision is so big. Even shooting-wise, we have huge action set pieces but then also very beautiful scenes. Today we have a huge scene, where we blow up the police station. It looks unbelievable. Dust rising like a huge cloud before the firefight ensues. It's the biggest action sequence we have in the whole series. But it's the heavier stuff, the emotional stuff, that is going to drive the show. And that's what I find most challenging. Me and my brother Moritz go through trauma, our mom is shot in the kitchen by our father and we see it. My character, Max, deals with that trauma completely differently from Moritz. So every time we have a scene together, the stakes are so high. I was talking to [Shadowplay co-star] Nina [Hoss] yesterday and was saying how the scenes I struggle with are exposition. I hate exposition, talking to drive a storyline. In the scenes that are black and white, where it's clear what's happening and what the stakes are, those are the scenes you live for. Waco was like that: it was clear what I was doing in every scene. It's similar here.

You've been taking on meatier roles recently. Is that deliberate on your part? Absolutely. I think it's more my wheelhouse now than it's ever been. I think that's originally why I went to study acting. I never ever thought it would be a possibility to end up leading crazy big movies or series. I just wanted to do indies. I love it. It is the most fulfilling.

How are you picking your roles now, what do you look out for? I ask myself: "Does it scare me? Can I do it?" If it's on the verge, where I'm scared I can't do it, then I'm interested. Then, of course, it's about who's the director, what's the subject matter, what's the voice? But I think it's the fear that drives me most of the time. I say to other actors I admire all the time: there are going to be things where you swing and miss, but there are going to be others where you hit it out of the park. Failure is OK. As long as it doesn't completely end your career [laughs].

The actors I admire don't worry about the repercussions, of "what are people going to say?" People like Benicio [Del Toro], he's had a lasting effect on me. Or Josh Brolin. He and I are still close [since working together on 2017's Only the Brave.] He's had a major swing with Avengers but at the root, he's just a great actor. When you take the greats you can put them in anything and they'll still be great. Brolin is awesome. Joe Mantello sticks with me. I always think of him from Normal Heart. He just blew me away.

In Shadowplay, you're acting alongside Nina Hoss, who's a big star here in Germany. What's that been like? I was just told when I signed on: "oh, you're going to love her." Now she is one of my favorite actors or actresses I ever worked with. I'm a fan for life. She is just incredibly giving. No ego. There are actors out there that are more worried about themselves than the scene alone or reaching the potential of a scene. She wants to reach the potential of the scene. And that doesn't matter if it's at the cost of her or whatever it is. She's very engaging and comes prepared, and is a pro. She's just all-in. And she's really, really good. I'd love to work with her again.

You have been trying to get Pieces — your first film as a director — off the ground. What the state of that? Basically, it goes back to me just wanting more indies to get made. Or just original films. My agent told me that something like 20 of the last 21 highest-grossing movies have been sequels or franchise films. That's pretty fucking alarming.

It's been tough to get financing [for Pieces]. And this is for a low-, almost no-budget movie. The genre is tough too. It's not like I'm going to do a young adult horror or a rom-com. This is an ode to the gritty, 1970s kind of character-driven movie. Tough to say to financiers: "You want to make this with me?" And they are like: "I don't know how many people are going to see this."

[stars-and-rose]

emily’s notes on dealing with INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS

so it took me an hour and a half to fulling watch the video because I ended up taking seven and a half pages of notes??? i might make a separate post analyzing the characters/the plot in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, but we’ll see. with that out of the way, please note that these notes are in chronological order. spoilers under the keep reading

 seven warnings. seven freaking warnings. shit has hit the fan

why is Thomas ME in the mornings

wait no THOMAS BABY AHHHHHH

Virgil and Patton’s expressions when they first come in, oh god, Virgil looks absolutely done and Patton’s playing the ‘nothing is ever wrong’ game again 

ROMAN. THERE IS SOMETHING OFF WITH MY SON AND I’M NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES IN

Patton singing to himself is pretty cute not gonna lie

“secrets secrets are no fun, share with me or else we’re done.”-Roman is me yet again

also “i have yet to receive my invite to the pity party” Ro i can’t-

okay so it seems Virgil Patton and Thomas all know something and they don’t want Roman to know

not gonna lie, watching these three play cover-up is pretty damn funny and Ro is on to them

I AM ONLY 2 MINUTES AND 28 SECONDS INTO THIS AND I WANNA C R Y

Roman calling in Logan for back up? WHOOOOOOO we stan

AHHHH SOMETHING IS VERY W RON G

Logan gets one FALSEHOOD a day?

honestly can't tell if they’re trying to protect Roman or they don’t trust him rn and ahhh that hurts

I’M VERY CONFUSED

i feel like i’m witnessing the logince vs moxiety war

so everyone but Roman knows and everyone but Logan is desperate to keep it that way

???????

 NO ONE IS OKAY

they’re all coming for Ro’s role as the Extra side, huh? we’re hitting some extremes

“you all are acting fishy.” “so what, i’m acting fishy, sush- sue me.” “don’t pretend that wasn’t on purpose.” Roman and Virgil at their finest

why isn’t Roman allowed to know about Thomas’s intrusive thoughts???

“i’m going to prohibit your breathing if you keep this up.” Virgil NO

Virgil Patton what are you doing 

Roman is not going to fall for that distraction

wait no he did

i think everyone is a wee bit high

“have you ever imagined killing your brother”-HOLY SHIT SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN

OH MY GOD THE HANDS BEHIND RO AT 5:58 I JUST SCREAMED

THERE IS A CREEPY RAT MAN BEHIND THE TV

Patton covering his mouth and whispering out evil, and Virgil dropping into his tempest tongue when they see creepy rat man AAHHHHHHHHH

OH MY GOD HE HIT ROMAN HE HIT ROMAN WITH A MORNINGSTAR OH MY IS HE DEAD

“it’s the Duke.” thank you, Logan, BUT WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

The Duke is so freaking scary i can not-

state farm ad: everything in life is alright with state farm!

me, in hysterics only eight minutes in: nOtHiNg Is AlRiGhT

the Duke’s costume though... the clear elements from Roman but the inverted colors and the Duke feels gaudier

the Duke’s song is so creepy i can’t oh my god he'd been on screen for five minutes and he’s terrifying. The imagery, how dark everything is, how easily he moves around the other sides i’m chilled to the bone

did Roman call the duke bro??? um what???

also isn’t roman unconscious

I WANT MY ROMAN BACKKKKKKK

oh god what happened between Deceit and the Duke

the Duke is fucking terrifying. have i said that yet

i don’t wanna see the dark sides anymore! i’m good

that song is going to haunt me FOREVER

so the Duke is dark fantasies and corrupted creativity definitely Ro’s dark side

i no like

maybe the Duke was able to pop in because Roman’s been hurting recently????

HE JUST PULLED OFF HIS EARS OH GOD

Logan is the only one keeping himself together, i hope he can rationalize the Duke but i fear not

“you’re not creativity!”

“yeah! that’s the brave, handsome (Patton your gay is showing) unbeatable Roman!

*camera cuts to Ro still unconscious muttering about mashed potatoes*

Virgil looked so cute when he blew his bangs out of the way!

back to the angst

‘you’re scary’

*camera cuts to hurt/unimpressed Virgil*

ALSO THE DUKE IS NOT SCARY HE’S TERRIFYING 

everyone is pointing fingers ahahhahah

how quickly Patton believed Logan was actually Deceit OOF when the only evidence for this was based on the fact Logan didn’t agree with Patton/Virgil’s method of dealing with the Duke

Lo: *trying to logic through the situation*

Vee and Pat: please shut your mouth

Logan:*talks about how nothing is black and white*

Thomas: *points out the difference between Roman in white and the Duke in black*

which is an amazing visual for character!Thomas’s black and white thinking

and it’s also an amazing detail to contrast Roman and the Duke. i thought the contrast between Patton and Deceit's suits was cool in SvS, but this is another level

Roman is still unconscious on the floor. the Duke is standing over him. alright, trash rat bastard.

wow i can’t believe my favorite side has a twin brother that’s an actual rodent

holy shit Thomas is such an amazing actor i genuinely cannot handle it, applause applause applause

“Wow, I hate him.” YEAH ME TOO THOMAS

the entire side conversation between Logan and Patton regarding the cradle in the treetop is gold 

have i mentioned that the duke is disturbing yet? there is an EYEBALL on his shoulder

“...........maybe?” oh Patton bb you are trying but you’re not there yet

wow what happened between the Duke and Virgil, because the Duke really don’t like him

ROMAN YOU CAN G E T U P NOW

okay Virgil, that’s fine, break my heart

we’re still stuck on this “is Thomas a good person thing?”

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOGAN YOU GO SMART BABE

the flashback is just as creepy every time it plays gOD

well Vee got in an uncensored curse

Patton is shook

Virgil legit looks at him like,”you’re really hung up on THAT right now?”

“I’m about to smash the hulk!” what is happening.

“One of you is enough!” yes and I’d prefer Deceit right now!!

Deceit is a shit but he’s a shit with a cause

the Duke is just a rat

Patton is really playing the ignore all our problems card,huh

that didn’t work his arc why is he trying it again???

“this isn’t about me wanting to be listened too” SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, AND YOU’RE TOO BLAME @ logan

Logan almost calling Virgil paranoid HURT

that brings me back to the whole “paranoviligant” scene from the Hogwarts video. both Ro and Lo have prevented themselves from calling Virgil paranoid, even though I feel like meaner things have been said. the word paranoid is significant then. 

also logan quickly fixing his mistake there damn i love him

Thomas pleading with Virgil and Patton hurt me so much AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“well that can’t be where the bar is” WHAT A PARALLEL

Logan’s speech on religious really hit me. 

i’m Catholic, but I’m also Pansexual.

watching an openly gay man talk about Religion freely made me feel really happy and accepted and i might have cried

also it was such a good way from Logan to make his point

the Duke really threw Patton and Virgil through a loop, huh

LOGAN IS THE BREADWINNER LISTEN TO HIM G O 

okay, theory time: the Duke gets more powerful the weaker Roman gets and vice versa. so to keep the Duke away, Ro needs to get himself in a better place to figuratively defeat the Duke. but how can he get to that better place when it seems everyone is against him?

“i said figuratively. and that is why i say it. THAT *clap* IS *clap* WHY *clap* I *clap* SAY *clap* IT *clap* Lo really went off there, you go you funky little nerd

also Logan claps to emphasize his points a lot and it’s cute

“despite his best efforts, Virgil's could never stop being the bad guy~!” OUCH

you can see the vivid hurt on Virgil’s face when Logan says that it’s his faiult, it looks like he was slapped

and Logan quickly adding “oh and uh Patton.” 

“rEcOrD sCrAtCh?” shut up stinky trash man

and Virgil’s shock that he isn’t the only problem, that isn’t not completely his fault?

and logan’s shock in realizing he isn’t the problem??

not like i needed a heart or anything

wow the Duke finally realized that Logan is going to smite him only took 25 minutes

he really just went off on Logan and Lo’s not even fazed

did the Duke just-

yeah he vored the deodorant

i can’t take this anymore

THE DUKE’S NAME

first of all, he just gave it anyway like it was nothing. the others gave thier names at key moments for them, and the Duke is like, yeah I’m Remus

also I SAW the little look he gave Virgil he’s not fooling me

wait is that why he gave his name so early? to spite Virgil? because Virgil hid his name for so long and such?

that’s it I’m voring the stinky trash bastard 

second, the significance of the name itself. i’m assuming Remus is named after the Remus in Roman mythology. You know, the twins Romulus (hint hint RO nudge nudge) and Remus, the founders of Rome, but in the end Romulus killed Remus and became the city’s namesake

based on the connection of the names, and hoping that Roman is the Romulus of this story, Ro will be able to ‘defeat’ Remus one day

DID LOGAN JUST BARE HIS TEETH AT REMUS

he did OH MY GOD

Roman, still unconscious on the floor, telling Remus to shut up and defending Lo? we stan (one) creativity twin 

well Remus just shuriikened Logan in the forehead

Logan simply falling for a brief moment then fixing the wound? he’s really a badass huh

Logan just summed up this entire shebang by saying,”if things one and two stop fearing the psycho asshole he’ll have no power.” alright Lo you go

LOGAN ALL THE WINS

Remus is really fucking dramatic huh, really seeing how he can be Roman’s twisted twin

really, Ro is chaotic good and Remus is straight up chaotic evil

“is he gone” you can’t be falling for that they’re ten minutes left on the episode

they fell for it

Virgil’s brutal honesty in listening off Thomas’s problems oof

“what if you sniffed your dogs butt?” Remus is getting a bit milder the more Logan talks him down, Lo is truly a king

“just shut up” WHOOOOO THOMAS

Patton and Virgil listening to Lo? GIVE ME AN AMEN

now we just need Ro to jump on the listening-to-Lo-express

 AND LOGAN SAYING “IT’S OKAY” AND COMFORTING THE OTHER THREE  AND BEING GENTLE WHOOOOOOO NO MORE OF THAT EMOTIONLESS BULLSHIT LOGAN WE KNOW YOU CARE ABOUT THEM

Logan’s speech on therapy? FANTASTIC, GIVE HIM AN AWARD

Patton admitting and realizing his over controlling methods and flaws??? we stan character development

VIRGIL JUST CALLED REMUS A COMMON COLD I CAN’T

but really, Virgil telling Remus off and calling him a pest not worth his time?? a king

“it was just like old times!” the look Patton and Logan share, they definitely are aware of Virgil’s past with the dark sides/ possibly being one and they are done with Vee being harassed

STINKY TRASH BASTARD IS GONE

ROMAN IS NOT DEAD

but his line, “I can see now why everyone was reluctant to tell me what was going on.” confused me

why didn’t the other warn Roman that Remus could be coming? it’s not like Roman didn’t know Remus existed (they are literally twins) and the other knew Remus existed so I'm not sure what all the secrecy was about. if the sides warned Ro, he could have been prepared, and you know, not unconscious for most of the video.

EVERYONE IS SO CONCERNED FOR RO AHHHHH

literally i might have screamed

i definitely did

when Roman used the same insult/nickname as Remus to Logan, how distraught he looked oh god

maybe that’s why Roman’s so much of a perfectionist,,, he’s so desperate to not be like Remus, Roman forces himself to be the exact opposite and it’s causing him pain

the little smiles everyone gives Lo at the end??? AHHHHHHHH

Thomas thanking logan and calling him Cool, and Logan just sinking out in response?????

SOFT SOFT SOFT

the entire like thirty seconds Roman and Remus share the screen, RO looks so uncomfortable 

there has to be something else that happened between them,not just they being exact opposites... not sure on what

it also seems like Logan is getting better but Roman is falling down the rabbit hole and getting even worse

the funhouse mirror metaphor HURT

Roman is really coming for Patton’s nothing-is-ever-wrong game huh?

also just noting the parallels between Roman and Remus, the hand gestures, even how they both sink out with the same BYEEEEEEEE!

Virgil babey don’t blame yourself-

holy shit Virgil just dropped the mic

really that scene broke my heart

it wasn’t the reveal itself, but damn the delivery

Virgil looks on the verge of tears,puts himself out there and telling Thomas that he was a dark side and being met by silence???

my HEART

Thomas is such an incredible actor i cannot-

side note, how did Thomas not know? i believe the other sides know (someone please ask me about this so i can rant) and Vee was never exactly sutble about it and Deceit and Remus both taunted him about the past??

is character!Thomas just that dense??

so it seems like Logan is doing better, Patton is decent for the moment, but Virgil and Roman are both struggling right now

it feels like Roman’s arc is very drawn out, so i feel like things are getting worse before they get better

as for Virgil, i REALLY want the next video to be about how the past doesn’t define you and end with the other comforting Vee.

dear G O D why is Remus eating deodorant??

also, i really want to know what is actually the deodorant

or is Thomas actually eating deodorant

SOMEONE PLEASE CALL POISON CONTROL-

[dakotacrisis]

Just A Friend (Not)

So I saw this wonderfully drawn post from @ariadusts-draws and a little idea kinda got carried away. Summary: Adrinette is adorable, Adrien is oblivious and Alya has had enough.

“Hey, Adrien,” Marinette waved him over to where she was hiding behind the stairs, “I finished that birthday card for Nino for you.”

Adrien took the blue envelope in her hands. Inside was a specially tailored birthday card for Adrien’s DJ best friend styled to look like a turntable. The little records on the paper turntable even spun!

“Marinette, this is perfect!” Adrien couldn’t help gushing, “Thank you so much for making it. I’m not that good at this kind of stuff.”

“It was nothing. I hope Nino likes it.” She shrugged.

“He will, I’m sure of it.” Adrien slipped the birthday card into his bag for safekeeping. “Really though, thank you. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, you are super talented, Marinette.”

“Thank you, Adrien,” her cheeks tinted pink under the compliment.

“Can I pay you back for making it? I know how busy you are being student council president and it probably cut into your exam studying time.”

“Oh no, no, no, no, no!” she turned even pinker, “It was just a card. It didn’t take me any time at all and I was happy to do it. Nino is a good friend and he deserves a great birthday card.”

“I want to. Let me treat you to lunch today, get you an ice cream at least.”

“Well--that is--I um--sure!” her nervous stammering came creeping back in.

“Great! There’s this nice little cafe not too far from here that I’ve been wanting to go to unless you already have a place you’d like to go to then we can go there.”

“Wherever you pick is fine. I’m sure you’ll be perfect. IT will be perfect! Wherever you pick will be perfect...good...fine...” Adrien tried not to chuckle at her flustering. After getting to know her more he was becoming more and more endeared to her nervous little tics.

“Great. Wanna walk to class with me?” Adrien offered.

“Sure,” Marinette squeaked earning another smile from him.

Classes passed by quickly and Adrien waited by the door for Marinette so they could head to lunch. They walked for a bit in companionable silence until they made it to the cafe Adrien had suggested. There were a few people sitting on the outside terrace to enjoy the last warm rays of summer before autumn blew through to chill the city.

“Everything looks so good,” Adrien looked over the menu, “Do you know what you’re gonna get, Marinette?”

“I um, I’m not sure, it all looks yummy.” she tried to hide her blushing face behind the menu.

The waiter came by again for their order. Adrien settled on the sundried tomato tartlets and Marinette got a soy and citrus soba noodle salad. He was practically salivating by the time the food arrived. Just as he thought it was heavenly. Not as good as the goodies Marinette usually brings into class but what could beat her families macarons?

He glanced over at Marinette who was slurping her noodles happily. “I’m guessing it’s good?”

She nodded as her mouth was full. Swallowing what she had she gave him a more defined smile. “Yep, how are your tartlets?”

“To die for,” he picked one up, “Here try one.”

Marinette looked between him and the outstretched food in front of her face. “Go on, take a bite, I don’t mind.”

Hesitantly she took a bite of the food, her face flushed as red as the tomato she was eating. “You-You’re right, these are really good.” She fidgeted with her napkin, “Did you um...did you wanna try some of my noodles?”

“Sure.”

Marinette twined some round her fork and held it out to him. He took a bite straight off the fork and let out a little hum of satisfaction. “Those are pretty tasty. I can’t decide which dish I like more.”

Marinette could only stare as she continued to hold the now empty fork in midair. Adrien slowly started to realize Marinette had meant for him to take the fork when she held it out to him. “I’m so sorry!” he blurted out when she finally dropped the fork back on the table, “I wasn’t thinking. Here take my fork. I haven’t used it yet.”

“T-Thanks,” she fumbled for the fork almost dropping it on the ground.

After they finished eating Adrien paid for the meal and they walked back to school. A sprinkle of rain was starting to come down forcing the two under the collapsable umbrella in Adrien’s bag. It wasn’t big enough for the both of them to walk under it together without someone getting bumped back into the rain. Adrien settled for nestling his free arm around Marinette’s shoulders so they could both squeeze in until they got back to the school.

Walking into class again after break it took Adrien a moment to realize he still had his arm around Marinette and let her go so she could take her seat. Immediately upon sitting down he registered the excited whispering going on between the girls behind him but couldn’t make out what they were talking about.

At the end of class everyone started to pack up to head home. The rain had stopped by now and warm sunshine illuminated the classroom once again. There was still some time before he was expected home. Maybe he could head to the library and get some studying done before heading back.

“Hold it right there blondie,” Alya grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him into an empty classroom. Nino followed behind them closing and locking the door.

“What’s going on?” Adrien asked, “And why did it have to involve stretching out the collar of my favorite shirt?”

“I want the truth, Agreste.” Alya tapped her foot, “Because I’ve seen the way you act around her and I need to know if there is something going on between you and my best friend.”

“I’m sorry, what are we talking about? What’s going on between who?” Adrien looked to Nino but he gave no answer but a deep sigh.

“You and Marinette.” Alya ununciated, “What is your deal? Do you like her?”

“Of course I like Marinette. What’s not to like? She can get nervous easily but even that’s not as bad as it used to be.” Adrien wasn’t sure why he was being questioned about his opinion on Marinette. He adored Marinette. She was sweet and kind and incredibly talented. Most everyone in class liked her. What did it matter what he thought?

“Yes, we all know you like Marinette but how do you like her?”

“She’s a good friend, what else do you need to know?”

Two very long groans were Adrien’s response.

“What?”

“But--you and Marinette--how are--Nino?” Alya turned to him, “You take it from here. I need a moment.”

“Nino?”

“Listen Adrien, you’re among friends here.” Nino approached him, “You can tell us if you have a crush on Marinette.”

“What?! Oh no, she’s just a friend.”

“Dude…” Nino sighed once more. “Alya and I saw you at the cafe with her and don’t think no one noticed you two walking into class this afternoon.”

“What about it? I can’t take a friend out for lunch without others thinking I have a crush on her?” Adrien couldn’t figure out why he was getting so defensive about this. Marinette was great but his heart belonged to Ladybug.

“You were feeding each other like a couple of love sick rom com characters!” Alya snapped, “You came back from break with your arm around her! What else are we supposed to think?”

“It was a bite of food and I only had my arm around her because we had trouble fitting under the umbrella. I’ll admit I forgot to let go after we were out of the rain but I put my arm around Nino all the time while we walk. What’s so different here?”

“It’s not just today,” Nino said, “You’re always doing and saying stuff around Marinette that doesn’t sound too friendship like. Pretty much everyone in class thinks you have a crush on her.”

“No. Marinette is just a friend.”

“Getting heart eyes every time she walks through the door is not how ‘just-a-friend’ works!” Alya looked like she was about ready to burst into flame. “How much does that have to be drilled into your head before you get it?”

“Alya--”

“Do not stop me, Lahiffe!” Alya pointed at Nino, “The boy needs to learn!”

She pushed Adrien in front of the blackboard. “We’re gonna get this through your head if it takes all day. I want you to write: This is not how ‘just a friend’ works, until you understand it.”

“This seems really unnecessary. Can I please head back to the library before I have to go home?”

“Nope. This is more important than homework.” she shoved a piece of chalk in his hand, “Now write.”

Knowing better than to defy the fiery blogger Adrien proceeded to write the line he was given over and over. This was so ridiculous. Marinette really is just a friend. He likes her as a friend and that was it. Sure he maybe got a little closer than he should have but he would work on that.

This is not how ‘just a friend’ works.

He complimented her a lot but what good friend wouldn’t? Marinette really is talented and as a friend he should be allowed and encouraged to tell her so. There was nothing wrong with that.

This is not how ‘just a friend’ works.

Also, yes, Adrien will admit Marinette is more than just talented. She’s caring, helpful, brave, clever, optimistic, pretty…

This is not how ‘just a friend’ works.

Pretty? Where did that come from? Well okay, there was no use in denying that Marinette is a pretty girl. Heck, she is down right adorable most of the time. With her cute little pigtails and wide baby blue eyes, those tiny freckles splattered against her nose and cheeks. There was a reason that a bunch of other boys in class admitted to having crushes on her.

This is not how ‘just a friend’ works.

The more he thought about it the more he realized he actually liked her flusterings. They were pretty cute when they weren’t making her fall over.

This is not how ‘just a friend’ works.

She’s also always looking for the good in others. That’s the optimist in her shining through. How couldn’t he like someone like her? She wasn’t perfect but she was as close as it could possibly get. All he wanted was to spend time with her. Lately he was looking for more excuses to spend time with her even. To be close to her…

This is not how ‘just a friend’ works.

Marinette...she really is something special.

This is not how ‘just a fr

Oh...oh no…

(Part 2)

[baby80s]

The Birthday

Ok so this is my first ever work so please be kind, fluff and angst in equal measure and a part 2 on the way

requested by @deacyloverogerinalove

Words: 2.5k

A/N: sorry there’s so much back story my darlings

It all began on 26th July 1949; a date you’d come to love and hate eventually in equal measure.

Norfolk, 26th July 1949

“Boy or girl?”

Your mother’s head shot up in the direction of the question, and she was met with a petite blonde-haired, blue eyed woman cradling and slightly bobbing what was obviously a baby boy, who was contentedly wrapped in a blue shawl. She paced the end of your mothers bed and she awaited her answer.

“A girl, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and I’m Diane (Y/L/N).”

She spoke proudly, her new daughter inspiring a new confidence in her.

“Oh you lucky thing, I wanted a girl!” The blonde pouted, but the adoration in her eyes as she looked at her son said that she was quite happy with her new little boy.

“Well I’m Winifred Taylor, Winnie for short,” she waved playfully from the end or the bed, “and this is Roger Meddows Taylor” she waved his small hand in the general direction of your mum, who giggled softly and waved your hand back towards them.

Norfolk, 26th July 1952

“Happy Birthday Roger-and-(Y/N), Happy Birthday to youuuuuuu”

Your’s and Roger’s parents sang softly as you both sat in front of a huge birthday cake, smiling widely as you waited for the singing to end so that you could fill your faces with cake.

They clapped and cheered as you and Roger (or Roggie as you called him with your three-year-old vocabulary) blew out the candles excitedly.

“Are you guys ready for the big move then?” Your mum turned to Winnie and asked, as she noticed the boxes that crowded the Taylors’ kitchen. Winnie held her daughter on her hip as she sipped her drink thoughtfully.

“I think so, we’ve only got the cots to pack up now and we won’t do that until the morning we leave. Apart from that and a few plates and glasses, I think we’re pretty much there.”

“I still can’t believe we’re doing it,” your mother replied wistfully, “a move to Cornwall? A more exciting life for all of us.” She spoke as though she could hardly believe her own words, and as if saying it too loudly would end from the dream.

“Well we’d never have been brave enough to do if it if you guys weren’t going too, and if not now then when? We only live once, ya-know!”

They clinked their glasses of squash to that and turned back to see you and Roger sat side by side on a cardboard box full of the Taylor’s living room furniture, digging in to your slices of birthday cake.

Truro, 26th July 1965

Your’s and Roger’s 16th birthday. And you were ready to spend the evening dancing and singing to Roger’s band. They called you their number one fan, due to the fact you were always there at concerts supporting them. You’d put of your favourite maroon cord skirt and a loose-fitting white blouse and headed out to the concert hall.

All through the gig your eyes were drawn to Roger, but not for the sole reason that he was your best friend. Maybe it was the way his blonde hair flopped over is slightly sweaty forehead, or maybe it was the way his tongue poked out of his mouth slightly as he concentrated on holding the beat. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, whatever it was, it had you transfixed. You watched him until he finished the song he’d been playing and looked up, slightly flushed and out of breath from the sheer amount of effort he had put into his music. He looked around the audience and his eyes met yours. He smiled widely and all the girls around you swooned, hoping that the smile was for them. You’d never admit it, but you swooned too. You knew that you had feelings for Roger, but you could never act on them for fear of ruining the relationship you two had.

“Happy birthday Roggie!” You mimed to him, knowing he’d never hear you shouting over the cheers of the audience.

“Happy birthday (Y/N)!” He mimed back, making a love-heart with his hands to you. This of course made all the girls near you almost faint in excitement.

Truro, 26th July 1968

“Roger you know thats not what I meant!” You sobbed. You didn’t mean for it to go like this. You had come to tell Roger what you’d known for years. You loved him. You had pushed your feelings aside to avoid ruining your friendship. But now you were off to university there was no better time to confess your feelings and fall into Roger’s waiting arms. But it had gone wrong. Your words had all come out wrong and you said things you didn’t mean.

“Well tell me how ‘nobody around here is in any way successful’ isn’t supposed to cause offence (Y/N)?!” He was angry now, unshed tears in his eyes. You’d never fought this bad. Not in 19 years had you ever said such awful things. Now you stood in his living room, you’d both stood in the heat of the argument. You had retreated into yourself and had wrapped your arms around your self.

“Roger don’t twist my words!! Your band is amazing. I shouldn’t have said that, I came to say goodbye!” You had tears running down your face as you regretted every word you’d said in the last ten minutes.

“You came to say goodbye? Well goodbye (Y/N). I hope you find what you’re looking for in wherever it is you’re going.” He turned away and stormed off into his kitchen. You were torn. Either you followed him and fought it out, or you left and forgot about him and the small-town life. You chose the latter. As the door shut behind you, Roger collapsed in a heap on his kitchen floor, his heart and his dreams in broken pieces around him. He loved you, too. He had since he saw you with your first high school boyfriend. That made him realise that you weren’t exclusively his and that one day he might lose you. Of course you and your boyfriend hadn’t lasted more that two months, but it changed the way Roger thought about you. He noticed when you’d taken extra care with your hair, or when you’d taken the time to wear perfume. The little things became apparent to him. But obviously you didn’t feel the same so he tried to date and keep the amazing friendship you two had. Not any more.

He noticed the forgotten birthday gift laying on his kitchen table. His gift to you. It was a vintage satchel that you’d spotted weeks ago in a little shop in Truro and had not stopped talking about. He’d saved his wages from his concerts and had eventually been able to afford to buy it. He’d been so excited to see your face as you opened it, but now he thought he never would. He clutched the gift as he sat and sobbed silently on his kitchen floor.

And that left you here. 26th July 1971. Your 22nd birthday. You’d not become an actress, and you’d dropped out of university. After your lack of success you’d grown to hate acting. You had decided to come back home to decide your next move, now that the contract on your flat had ended. You hated your birthdays now, each one spent getting drunk alone and crying over your lost friends and dreams. Roger hadn’t contacted you, and you weren’t surprised. You had sent a birthday card every year, but you’d come to expect no reply.

You lugged your suitcase up the steps of your garden path in the late afternoon sunshine, and set it down to unlock your front door.

The door didn’t budge. You tried again, but the key you had taken away with you made an awful grinding noise, but failed to unlock the door. Your parents must have changed the locks. You sighed in defeat and slumped onto your doorstep. Thanks to the sloping front garden, you had a perfect view of the entire street. You sat and recalled the features your road used to have, and what was new.

As you began to count the lamp-posts something, or someone, caught your eye. The all too familiar blonde mane caught drew your attention all too quickly, and you had to catch yourself from calling out to him. However, this last minute change if heart had caused you to choke on your own breath, leading you to cough loudly and catch Roger’s attention from the other side of the road.

His head snapped up, and in an instant his wide deep blue eyes met yours. He was obviously shocked, and his mouth hung open a little in surprise. You waved sheepishly and sent him a small smile.

He waved awkwardly back and returned a tight-lipped greeting, like the sort you might offer someone you don’t know very well.

You retreated into yourself at that point, and looked down at your toes. He didn’t want to see you.

He must have noticed the change in you, and the suitcase beside you, because a moment later he was at your garden gate.

“(Y/N),” He said shortly, as though he felt afraid to greet you.

“Roggie,” You replied. You thought that any more words might fail you as you felt tears well in the backs of your eyes. You’d hoped that you might meet him again, but you never imagined that you’d cry.

“How are you?”

You’d not expected the question, and you glanced at him in surprise. His eyes has softened somewhat and he seemed genuinely interested in the answer. He stepped towards you as you began to reply.

“Not great Roger, if I’m honest.” You felt honesty was the best policy when you were about to attempt to grovel. “I’ve left uni and now I’ve come home to decide my next step.” As you finished talking he stopped on the step below you and sat down beside you. You couldn’t ever have imagined this.

“Oh (Y/N)! What do you think you’ll do next?” He offered. He knew just how much this dream meant to you, and little did you know that all he wanted to do was scoop you up and protect you from the world. But he couldn’t, because you clearly didn’t feel the same.

He tried to keep the conversation light and gently changed the subject when it looked like you might cry. He told you about this new band he was in, called Queen. You loved the way he spoke about the band with such passion, and how excited he was for the future. You laughed at a story about the lead singer, Freddie and an incident in Biba where he’d been shopping in the ladies section. He hadn’t realised just how much he’d missed you until you were back. Your smile, and your gentle laugh. He wanted to make you smile again, and again, and again until all you could ever do was smile.

Before you knew it it was getting dark and you began to shiver. It was mid summer, but it was also Cornwall, so you weren’t surprised when it began to get cold.

“Oh Christ what time is it?!” Roger asked, slightly alarmed by the growing darkness. You checked your watch, another gift from Roger, and declared that it was 10:30. But Roger was more worried about the watch.

“You kept it?” He asked, almost in disbelief.

“Of course I did Roger, why wouldn’t I?” You were surprised at his question, the watch being your favourite present from him ever.

“After the things we said, I’m surprised you didn’t throw everything of mine into a skip.” He laughed at the image, but still looked at you to gauge a reaction.

And in that moment you began to sob, trying and failing to stop the tears from falling down your face. Roger didn’t reach in straight away, instead leaning his knee against yours, telling you he was there when you wanted to talk. He’d always done that, whenever you’d come home crying over a good-for-nothing boyfriend or indeed Roger crying over a failed test. It was your unspoken communication that you were there for each other.

“Roger I’m so sorry.” You managed to choke out between sobs. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I know (Y/N). You were excited and frustrated and wanted to get out. I felt hurt because you said that nobody was successful, which in a way was true. Now I hope that I am at least a bit successful,” He laughed “and I hope you’ll be my number one fan again.”

Your tears has dried now, and as you looked up at Roger everything thing that you felt those three years ago came flooding back at once. Roger’s pupils almost engulfed his blue irises and he wetted his lips as he waited for your response.

No words were needed, and you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. It was soft and longing and you felt Roger relax beside you, leaning into the kiss and cupping your face with his large hand. You tangled one hand in his blonde hair and placed the other on his chest. He tasted sweet, but with a hint of tobacco. The familiar scent if his cinnamon shampoo filled your nose as he wound his hands around your waist. You didn’t want it to end, ever, but you had to breathe. So you pulled away but made sure to keep your hands in place.

“Wow.” Was all you could manage.

“That was better than I imagined.” Roger was still reeling from the kiss, his thoughts not quite being filtered before they came out.

“You imagined this, Roggie?” You used his nickname and smirked, tapping him playfully on the chest. “What else did you imagine?”

“I’ve imagined all of it, (Y/N). Our life together, our house, our family...” He trailed off, blushing slightly at the thought.

“Oh Roger, why didn’t you ever say anything?” You were about to cry again, mourning the years you’d lost.

“How could I? You all geared up to become a star, you wouldn’t have wanted me holding you back.” He was on the verge of tears too, you could see it.

“Roger if I’d known I’d never have left. I’ve loved you since we were 16...” Obviously you were still reeling from the kiss too, as your feelings overflowed.

Roger smiled at you with watery eyes and wiped a tear off of your cheek.

“Well then we’ve got some catching up to do, don’t you think?” He winked at you with the suggestive comment and stood up. By now it was nearer to 11pm and the only light was coming from the street lights.

“Come and stay at mine tonight. Mum and Dad have gone to see my Auntie in Norfolk. No chance of them coming back without fair warning.” He winked again as you stood, and you giggled. “Well that’s excellent news, shall we?” You offered him your hand and with the other motioned to pick up your suitcase. “Oh no you don’t!” You looked up at Roger in surprise as he took your case from your hand and carried it without another word. You squeezed his hand and walked out into the night, finally feeling completely contented.

“Happy birthday Roggie.”

“Happy birthday (Y/N).”

[vanilla-blessing]

qb anime of the year list 2018

Anime of the Year 2018 - the year of girls going to aquariums together

I’ve seen at least one person who claimed that 2018 was the best year for anime in recent memory and I’m inclined to agree. A large majority of my top ten list is shows that I would consider perfect and even shows that blew away what I thought was possible in the medium. It was a revolutionary year and makes a strong argument that anime wasn’t a mistake after all. - qb

#1

Hugtto! Precure blew away my expectations every week for close to a year. I don’t exactly know what to say about it here, since this isn’t the last time I’ll talk about it for sure. It doesn’t even end in 2018, but it was such a huge part of my 2018 in anime that it would be inaccurate to not include it. The only way I can think to explain Hugtto! Precure is to talk about the Netflix She-ra reboot. She-ra’s a pretty basic modern Dreamworks cartoon, with some interesting ideas thrown in and likable characters, but mostly held back by what they could realistically allot for production. Because of this limitation, She-ra goes hard on a single perfect episode (if you’ve seen it, you know which one) that stands out in a big way and shows the full potential of what they set out to make. Usually, Precure is lucky to get a handful of these stand-out episodes in a season, and most of the time just gets by, due to being an annual series that can never, ever take a break. Normally, the first few episodes of a Precure season can be counted on to be strong, but the realities of anime production being hella tough inevitably catch up.

Hugtto! Precure started with an incredible opening arc, then never let off the gas pedal. Nearly every episode of Hugtto is a stand-out, never-before-seen, innovative tour-de-force. The combination of production miracles that resulted in Hugtto has been talked about by me on this blog before, (http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/176000267859/hana-is-getting-unstable-a-pink-precure) but the length of time that Hugtto stayed in the paint, going extremely hard every single week with few exceptions, was just absurd. Every season of Precure has one or two peaks, sometimes a good season gets lucky and has even more, the best seasons bat a solid average, but are still expected to be held back by reality. Coming out of the fifteenth season of Precure with a majority of the best episodes in the entire franchise isn’t something that I can wrap my head around, but it definitely happened, mostly in 2018. It’s simultaneously a love letter to the franchise’s past, present, and future made by the biggest Precure fans on the planet, and it’s unquestionably the best season. Hugtto threw what we all knew was true and had accepted about Precure clear out the window, retroactively made older seasons better, watered my crops, brought world peace, ect.

Oh yeah and boys can be cures now. 

#2

I’m definitely not done with Revue Starlight and this won’t be the last time I talk about it. Revue Starlight essentially carried the Summer 2018 anime season on its back. Starlight absolutely dominated my anime watching schedule; my week was seriously just waiting for and watching different translations and releases with every other show being almost incidental, far less important than waiting for the song lyrics to get translated for an episode I had seen three times already. I won’t get into everything here, since I’ve already talked about it on this blog after all (http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/179023723689/subtext-is-for-cowards-revue-starlight), but I need to reiterate that it was such a commanding, unique, stylized experience and didn’t drop a single episode in its entire absurdly high-level production. The only reasonable explanation for this is devil magic, and hell, it was worth it. Revue Starlight is probably in my top 5 anime of all time and I wouldn’t get this list out if I said everything I wanted to say about it. It’s great. Watch it twenty times. 

#3

Pop Teen Epic, or Hoshiiro Girldrop, was the most wildcard that has ever been in seasonal anime, and could have been absolutely anything. What none of us predicted was just how much of anything this show would be, encompassing an unprecedented range of artists, voice acting talent, and whatever AC-bu are, each giving their very individual takes on a self-described shitpost comic strip, sometimes covering the exact same material two or three times, with no regard for any sort of cohesion or structure.

Nothing about this idea should have been funded, nothing in Pop Team Epic has any reason to work, and as a straight adaptation probably wouldn’t have worked. PTE spun gold from trash through the raw effort of artists doing their own thing, which captures the original spirit that made the formerly-cancelled comic popular in a way that’s much too intelligent for haters to understand. Also it got a dub, which is the most ridiculously bad idea i’ve heard in my life, and it owns that it happened.

#4

Spider-man into the Spider-verse is legit the best comic book movie ever made. It’s a fun, expressive twist on the most tired superhero origin story of all time, and showcases some of the most sssssssssstyle and raw, real emotion I’ve ever seen in animation. Its particular selection of influences is brilliant and poignant, rising far above the simple fanservice you’ve come to expect from Spider-man. The unrelenting individualistic spirit of this movie will stick with you the longest in the soundtrack, bravely incorporating a side of pop music that you don’t usually get to see in big-budget productions, pulling soundcloud rappers out of their grody (i’m told) dens into the spotlight with equal importance alongside the heroic score. Spider-verse is all about establishing your own unique flavor, and it manages to overwrite every other entry in this cursed franchise with its bold taste.

#5

It doesn’t make sense to me how amazing Aggretsuko’s dub is. The impeccable timing of each line, the perfect integration with the comedy, and the optimal length of the episodes are all far beyond what I expected from a Netflix show. It not only converted the original series of shorts that I already had on my top 10 the first year into a godlike longer series I didn’t know I wanted, but went to the effort to bring real metal singers in for the karaoke. Honestly just repeat everything I said in my 2016 list and multiply it by five. I hope they make more. They’re making more.

#6

I was pretty slow to pick up anime in the Winter 2018 season, but I never missed Hakumei and Mikochi, maybe because it was like, the only simulcast on my favorite online anime streaming subscription service HiDiVE. The subs weren’t great, and it certainly wasn’t all that popular, but it was just the relaxing show I needed. Hakumei and Mikochi brought me back to my favorite non-racist parts of the Redwall series of books: friendly animals, delicious foods, alcohol, and rustic songs. I was ready to put it on my list for simply being a cute healing foodie anime, but to my surprise, it had much more in store within its tiny world: stark confrontations with mortality, a shy riverside necromancer, the inexplicable remake of The Raid: Redemption in miniature, fashion trends, frogs, carpenter weasels, carpenter skeletons, ghost celebrations, a country beetle with lofty dreams. The list of memorable people, places, and things contained in the gnomish roommates’ tiny world goes on and on.

Masaomi Ando’s directing went completely along with the storybook aesthetic, maybe even to an overall detriment, which is exactly the kind of reckless commitment to style I love to see. The distinctive paneling, constantly gorgeous backgrounds, and deliberate pacing perfectly captured the imaginative stories I loved to read as a kid, but with more alcohol, and more sophisticated themes under the surface. Even something anime rarely get right, endings, were perfectly capstoned every week with a short digest that explored more of the history, legends, and very personal lore of their small, unique world. At its core, Hakumei and Mikochi is the calming story of tiny roommates you think it is, but it’s also so much more. They have day jobs and get drunk and remodel their house after it explodes that one time. They gamble dangerously to escape a blizzard, help a photographer give herself a little credit, and rescue their neighbor from a fancy grave of her own making. By the end of the show Hakumei practically built half a town. The collective stories from their everyday adventures build into something tremendous, and it all wraps up on the most perfect ending sequence I could have hoped for, which calls back to every story thus far as a new verse of the show’s central duet is sung. In any reasonable AnimeOTY Hakumei and Mikochi would be my top anime of 2018, but this year, the competition was unreasonable. This show will just have to settle for being the best regular anime of the year.

#7

Bloom Into You is an incredible adaptation of an apparently yuri romance manga that raises the bar for anime adaptations in general. I don’t know when, but somewhere along the line I stopped expecting that serious capital R Romance anime would have a distinctive style, and gave up to the notion that there was no demand anymore and a stylized, seinen/josei romance would just never get made. Well that was 2016 and then Scum’s Wish happened which this blog has covered extensively.(http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/168842023559/how-lerche-adapted-an-average-trashy-romcom-into, http://vanilla-blessing.tumblr.com/post/168789506264/scums-wish-and-our-messy-uncomfortable) To me Bloom Into You feels similar in concept, as a difficult romantic situation with no easy answers or completely happy people. The main perspective character, Yuu, is among my favorite romantic leads in any series; she doesn’t get romantic feelings, although she wants to, and despite being easily motivated, is kind of dispassionate. Her relationship that she was pushed into with Touko might as well be out of mutual convenience, since Touko doesn’t want to fall in love with someone who would love her back, and Yuu doesn’t think she can.

Yuu filters the developments of the series as they grow closer through a very different perspective compared to more emotional leads of usual romance stories, methodically breaking down and considering where she’s at, observing where others are at, before taking an action that makes sense to her. Her growth through the series takes a very different direction than the common dramatic formula; instead of running headfirst into misunderstandings to overcome romantic challenges, she’s compelled to take a step back and position herself in a way that allows her to understand and confront her girlfriend’s issues. The changes that she experiences herself during this process are extremely gradual, but are no less significant to her. Although the dramatic weight of the series is obviously all about Touko, the central thesis of Bloom Into You is to explore Yuu’s complex feelings, and ask to what degree our actions are dictated by our emotions. It’s a heavy topic to be sure, but what makes this anime adaptation special in particular is how the directing and production pull it off, to maybe an even stronger degree than the original material.

Bloom Into You’s most striking and noticeable feature is the incredible conservation of small movements that connect expressions naturally. Minute changes in characters’ faces are vital to observe the almost imperceptible changes in Yuu over the course of the series, and every aspect of the direction is in service of highlighting these subtle moments. In addition, repeated cinematic themes are reinforced over the show’s run, such as the use of light to impart a blinding realization, flower language to inform deeper personalities, even using a literal (not literal) cinema. Symbols such as trains, masks, and mirrors are used constantly and consistently to reinforce the show’s themes, which should be immediately obvious from the opening animation. I’m still kind of stunned that Bloom Into You’s ending theme is such a banger and managed to use an oscillating sine curve in a metaphorical way. These details might be lost without the brilliant layouts, intentionally resembling a stage, which always push the minute differences front and center. As an anime adaptation, Bloom Into You adds so much value in such a subdued, conservative way that it puts uninspired adaptations to shame.

#8 

Thunderbolt Fantasy 2 rounded out the year with a good old new-fashioned Japanese-speaking Chinese-Wuxia Taiwanese puppet show. The novelty of this wild series, like, existing at all, is still incredible to me, but I was really wowed by the new characters and the direction the series went in after the already high standards of the first season. Following the outrageous action and fights of the previous season, I did not expect that season 2’s introductory goon would 1. Live past the first episode 2. So quickly become my favorite swordfighter and 3. Have inarguably the most complete character arc of the entire show thus far. The Princess of Cruelty’s struggle against her inner and outer demons in a unreasonably stacked, desperate situation developed her into easily the most compelling character of the season, and the rest of the cast including a corrupt police officer with extremely disconcerting and bad puppet teeth, a ventriloquist rock-lutist, and a nihilist monk each bring their own unique flavors to the table. The table that they throw the puppets in the air from to make the show. All of the new elements of Thunderbolt Fantasy 2 improved an already strong formula even more, and revealed an emotional depth to the series that I’m excited to see developed further. Some people might not call this anime, but those people haven’t seen Thunderbolt Fantasy for longer than 2 seconds. It’s so anime.

#9

I blasted all available seasons of Star vs the Forces of Evil early in 2018, and it was basically my first foray into straight-up American cartoon magical girl, despite watching all the Japanese ones, which was probably an oversight on my part. That’s because Star Versus is really good, and provided a flavor of magical girl I had been missing out on. I could talk about the excellent sparkle witch aesthetic of the show, fluid animation, and hilarious comedy, but I’d rather spend this blogspace posting Star Butterfly faces. 

#10

A Place Further Than the Universe, or YoriMoi, or my preferred moniker That Antartica Anime, wasn’t on my radar until well after it had finished airing, but it stuck with me for most of the year. Although it’s definitely melodramatic at times, it utilizes this tendency in exactly the right way to enhance the individual characters’ emotional arcs. Even though I was personally sort of taken out of it for many of the girls’ personal trials, :penguin emoji: is obviously thoughtfully written and carefully constructed, and especially knows how to orchestrate an immense emotional reaction with pitch-perfect timing. If there’s one particular aspect this anime has absolute mastery over, it’s hitting that perfect note and cue to create a memorable narrative climax. And for all my bellyaching about not fully relating to some of the characters, Miyake is definitively the #1 qb-relatable character of the year.

Here’s the rest of my list. Don’t @ me about it because if its not on my top ten then it doesnt really count anymore i dont make the rules thats just how it is

11. Yuru Camp

12. Hisone and Masotan

13. Asagao to Kase-san

14. Devilman Crybaby

15. After the Rain

16. Planet With

- friend of the show @queuebae on twitter 

That’s why the 2018 anime of the year award goes to Kaiju Girls 2.

[heartsoftruth]

People keep acting like Neymar didn’t drag this team through the group stages and are somehow finding a way to blame him for the loss? Absolutely poor because I know they’d bend over backwards for him if he was a player for their team

It’s funny how Ney didnt even play, had two close ups and somehow he’s all over the internet…

I literally hope when he comes back he comes back and shines. No WC chenanigans. Just shines like Barça Ney at the Copa

Anonymous said:What do you think about the comparisons between Mbappé and Rashford? There‘s people saying that Rashford is the best young player in the world right now and that Mbappé is actually an average player that only looks good because he plays for PSG in Ligue 1.

I’ve said it before the first leg of this game: lets not do this. And it’s all people does because PSG is out. Yes Kylian played a bad match. Yes maybe even one of his worst I’ve seen personally, but he also scored two in the previous match? He’s also a WC at 19? He also scored against so many difficult team for France? 

It’s too easy to say he only plays good in Ligue one was he was a starter at 19 for his NT. WHen he scored in the final and almost every other match. Do you remember that run vs Argentina??? That one was insane. 

I think Rashford is a great talent and I’m glad he doenst feel restricted anymore by Mourinho, but I still rate Kylian higher than him. Not because of one or 2 matches by Kylian like some meme making people do however. 

Anonymous said:P1. I understand u and many others think Bruna is creating drama, but tbh I feel we must also look at it from the other side; that maybe she’s just fucking hurt. I feel like maybe it just hurts her to see Neymar being cuddly with other girls, it’s been only 3 months or so since their breakup… Not that Neymar did anything wrong! Absolutely not. But the way Bruna is behaving perhaps stems from hurt and pain, and thus she Liked David’s post out of spite. And then the follow,​ ​unfollow also (cnt)Anonymous said:P2.. also I guess. But she didn’t say anything bad to anyone or anything like that. Deactivating her ​IG ​is been seen​ as attention seeking, but maybe after liking that post and everything started blowing up she just got more upset and wanted to shut out. Not for attention, not to blame Ney. That’s just an assumption, we don’t know the truth, so can we not hate on her? Not that you’re hating​,​ but many are. Yeah, she ​COULD just be mature and chill about Ney being linked and being close (cnt)Anonymous said:P3. w other girls​​… one anon says she is a hypocrite for showing that she’s moved on and is really happy, ​​but yeah we all wanna show we’re fine and happy but on the inside we hurt right? Go home and cry when we’re alone, but in front of everyone put on a brave face. And then sometimes it just shows out. That’s not hypocritical according to me.I feel like everyone is quick to judge and jump at a chance to hate her, but maybe we could instead be a little more understanding. Ney didn’t (cnt)Anonymous said:P4 - do any wrong, Anitta did not, Rafaela Porto did not, and tbh… I don’t think Bruna did anything wrong either. She didn’t do anything mean, I think some of her jealousy or feelings spilled out but she wasn’t intentionally wanting to be mean or shade anyone, or seek attention. And I think it’s normal to feel jealous when it comes to the boy u dated over a period of 6 ? yrs, within 3 months or so after separating​,​ cuddling and getting close to other girls​.Again, I don’t mean Ney did

Anonymous said:P5. anything wrong, def not.​ But I don’t think it’s right to blame her either.​ Sorry for this long long message! 🙈This is my opinion on all that’s happening, ​and you don’t have to post it if u don’t have time or find it too annoying 😅

Tho I do not fully agree with your message, but I do have to say your message is very sweet anon! I don’t know I get a very sweet and calm feeing reading this even if I don’t agree with everything you’re saying! 

That’s why i said a couple days ago and today as well: I get that she might be hurt by the break up. I guess we’ve all been there and done that, but the thing is with her she knows it will blow up within seconds of what she does. She knows the medi will jump on her and - depending who she’s messing with now it was Anitta - people will this time hate on her. Normally she’s the one shading some non famous girl Ney is seen with and the all her minions are in attack modus. Now she got a piece of her own medicine and I think that was why she deactivated. 

I don’t wish hate upon anyone, but I think she did this to herself. She wanted to make Anitta be the villain but it blew up in her face. 

That;s why I say maybe it would be best for her to chill for a bit you know. She doenst need to post that whole thank u next bs and that “i dont need a man’ attitude. It’s ok to be hurt. It’s ok to be heartbroken. Many of us have been; not many have millions watching us while being heartbroken. But let her just take some time for herself. Go to Noronha again. Chill or somewhere where you dont have Ney memories. 

And I thought this: “ ​but yeah we all wanna show we’re fine and happy but on the inside we hurt right? Go home and cry when we’re alone, but in front of everyone put on a brave face. And then sometimes it just shows out. That’s not hypocritical according to me.I feel like everyone is quick to judge and jump at a chance to hate her, but maybe we could instead be a little more understanding.”Was also very beautiful said. I don’t know how you’re IRL of course, but your message was so calming and understanding and nice! I’m sure your friends must be so happy to have you in their lives! Idunno maybe it’s just the vibe but it’s a sweet message. (im rambeling but i had to say it again haha).

SORRY @ all for the late reply! 

PS looking way too hot ones again! 

[mayparkerblogs-blog]

Just Your Average Morning {Part 8: infinity war au!}

WOW does it feel good to post on a somewhat regular schedule! Just a heads up this was kind of a #struggle to write but whatever. Also my dudes, I’d really, REALLY love it if you all could reblog this post so all of your friends could see it to because, you know, that’s what heroes do. ;) Now don’t just stand there - get to reading!

Friendly Reminder: this post contains Infinity War spoilers. Although I am 90% sure the majority of you have already seen it (and if you haven’t then you should stop reading this right now and drive to your nearest movie theatre), proceed reading with caution if you are still yet to see the film.

New to JURAM or missed a previous chapter? Don’t worry, there’s no need to “not feel so good, Mr. Stark” - you can check out my very own master list right here! 

Avengers x fem!Reader (contains IW spoilers)

previously in JURAM...

You thought about all of these things as you looked at the great city surrounding you and all of the wonderful people which occupied it, the people that you were trying to save.

You thought about this as you took your last glance at the blue planet you call home.

As you stretched one second into a thousand beautiful moments.

As the doors closed.

And you were utterly, terrifyingly, alone.

Get out, get home. Get out, get home. 

The donut closed and you were instantly enveloped into unwelcoming darkness. You shivered as you looked around and saw the unfamiliar and strange alien architecture and technology surrounding you. Whatever force that was bounding you to the wizard suddenly ceased to exist, and you landed on the cold floor with a hard thud. You ran back to the doors which closed and locked only seconds before and desperately tried to free yourself from this pastry-looking alien vessel. After tugging, punching, kicking, and ramming at the heavy doors, they wouldn't budge - not even your trusty shield could release the iron gates.

There’s got to be another way! Think, Y/N, think!

You examined some of the technology on the ship, attempting to understand a mere morsel of what was written to the screen. You were frantically tapping and retapping until your heart suddenly stopped mid-beat.

Were those footsteps?

You looked around the corner and saw the shadow of a figure approaching, and it definitely wasn’t human. You began high-tailing it down a random hallway, but stopped in your tracks when you remembered that you had left the wizard all alone for whoever or whatever was strolling through the ship. 

Save the wizard!

You ran back over to the wizard, who was still suspended mid-air, and used all of your available strength and might to pull him down the hall with you and into safety - as much safety as you can get on an alien ship. Unfortunately he wouldn’t budge a single inch. In your head, this was a rather pathetic scene. After all, you, Lady Liberty, an avenger in training who possessed the super soldier serum, had been beaten by a trick that bad magicians show at birthday parties. You were snapped out of your self-depreciating daze to the sound of footsteps - even louder than they were before.

If I don’t leave now and let that thing over there find me, there's no chance that me or the wizard will make it home. Sorry, buddy, I’ll be back for you!

You carefully and quietly sprinted away from the wizard and continued down the long, dark hallway until you found a nice corner to park yourself into. 

vrrm

vrrm

vrrm

Shit! My phone! Wait, how am I even getting any reception?

You fumbled through the many pockets of your suit until you found your cell phone to discover that the one and only Steve Rogers was calling you.

Thank God! I know Steve can help me!

“Steve!” you whispered as you answered his call.

“Y/N? Is that you? I can’t really hear you all that well. Where are you? We’ve been trying to reach you for the past 30 minutes.”

“Yes, Steve, it’s me and I’m - um - I’m in the donut!”

“You’re in the what?” he asked, very bewildered and confused.

“The spaceship! I’m stuck in the spaceship with this wizard guy and Peter is stuck on top of it and Tony said he was coming to help but I don’t know where he is so please send somebody up to get me Steve I’m scared and alone and I don't know what to do I should have never taken my suit and shield with me I’m not ready for this and I don’t want to die yet please Steve please come get me.” you pleaded as tears streamed down your face.

“Y/N, Y/N, listen to me,” Steve said in between your sobs, “You’re ok. It’s going to be ok. We all saw how brave you were on the news and we are all very, very proud of you. You sure are braver than I ever was. You’re a very tough girl, ok? Don’t you forget that! You can handle anything, even this. Just be strong for a little while longer, ok? Nobody knows where Tony is but we’re trying to contact Rhodey right now and Sam is already suiting up. It might take us a fat second, but we’ll have you and Peter home for dinner. Stay hidden, stay quiet, and try to keep all of your communication systems on so we can get a hold of you when we need to. Don’t do anything rash or engage with any life form on the ship. Can you do that for me?” Steve spoke quickly and gently, his calm voice soothing you to a more rational state of mind.

“Yeah, yeah I can do that. Ok. But please hurry, Steve. Please.”

“What?” Steve asked. “What did you just say? I think you’re breaking up.”

“I said ok and please hurry, Steve!” you raised your voice a little bit and immediately looked around to make sure the coast was clear before you spoke again. “Steve?”

“Hang tight, kid!” 

Suddenly, your short phone call with Steve ended, rejoining you to the world of foreign solitude and fear. Echoes of a man screaming burst through the ship in waves, sending shivers up your arms and guilt for leaving the wizard all alone and defenseless into your mind. 

Backup will come soon enough, I know it will. Engaging the hostiles will only make matters worse. Do what Steve said - stay hidden and stay quiet.

Mere moments after your call abruptly ended, you heard footsteps coming down the hallway. 

Oh no! Somebody probably heard my voice and came to investigate. I blew it, I’m dead meat! Wait, no, don’t think like that! You can handle anything - Steve said it himself. Just quickly and quietly take down the threat and continue waiting for backup to arrive. 

The footsteps got closer, and you carefully removed your shield from its holster on your back and slid the straps into place on your forearm. You checked your helmet to make sure it was secure, shook out your neck, and transferred from your crouched position on the floor to an attack ready squat. You pressed your body against the wall and saw that the silhouette of a tall figure was nearly upon you.

Breathe in, breathe out. 

Just as the tall figure turned the corner, you smacked it in the face with your shield and quickly pinned it against the wall while it was still stunned from your hard blow. You wound up your arm and were about to deliver a mighty hit to the head with your trusty shield when suddenly -

“Y/N! Y/N! Stop! Stop! Stop! It’s me! Hey! Look! It’s me!”

You paused mid swing and looked at the now familiar face of the figure.

“Tony?”

“Yes, Tony! Jeez, kid, I thought you were going to kill me with that thing.” Tony said as your cheeks turned red with embarrassment. 

He noticed your burning cheeks and quickly came up with an alibi to ease your conscience. 

“Part of it’s my fault, part of it’s yours. I could have said something over the comm to let you know that I was coming to get you, and you could have waited a damn second before almost curb stomping me with that shield of yours. You could also say that it was payback for me leaving you stranded for the past 30 minutes inside of a donut, which is understandable.”

You softly laughed and smiled at Tony, glad that he was trying to ease up your current situation and lighten the mood. Your mind was at peace knowing that you would be back home within the hour, until you realized that Peter was nowhere to be seen.

“Wait, have you seen Peter anywhere? He was beamed up with me and the wizard but was bounced off to the top of the ship.” you asked.

“Yep. Saw him clinging on the outside as I was flying up to get the two of you. He’s safe and sound at home with May right now, and with a brand new suit for him to play with.” Thank God - I don’t know what I would do if Peter got hurt because of my stupidity. 

“Thank goodness. Wow, that relieved a lot of stress. Anyways, so, I saw this door right over by where I was levitated up so I was thinking that you could just blast it open and we could fly on out of here-” “Slow down there, Sparky,” Tony said, interrupting you, “I want to get back to earth just as much as you do. But first, we need to retrieve that necklace from the wizard. Then, and only then, can we skedaddle back home.” Your heart immediately sank in it’s chest. Nothing was making sense to you, and you didn’t care if it did or if it didn’t nonetheless. You were aching to be at home, on the couch, eating a bag of chips, and watching awful movies on Lifetime right now - but you knew that an average life style just wasn’t meant for you. Look at you, you’re an avenger! When Steve asked you to join the team 3 months ago, your agreement wasn’t to run away and hide when the going got tough. You agreed to stand up when nobody else would, to fight till your very last breathe, to protect the innocent, defend the weak, and to avenge the human race. You weren’t just Y/N Y/L/N anymore - you were Lady Liberty, guardian of the free world. It’s time you better start acting like her.

“Alright then,” you said, “let’s go save this wizard.”

You and Tony stalked around the ship until you found yourselves right above where the wizard was being tortured by the ugliest lifeform you had ever had the disprivellege of laying your eyes upon. You winced between his loud cries and almost threw up when you saw what the other guy was doing to him.

“So why do we need the wizard and his fancy necklace again?” you asked.

“It’s a rather long story, actually, but I’ll sum it up for you - this dude Thanos wants to collect all of these magical rocks called infinity stones so he can dominate the world and yadayadaya. You know, just typical antagonist dreams and wishes. Two of the infinity stones are on earth, because, you know, we’re in the way of everything. One of them, the mind stone, is that yellow gem in Vision’s forehead, and the other one, the time stone, is in the wizard’s necklace. We have to get the stone, and I guess the wizard too, back to earth because that vertical worm over there is trying to deliver him and the stone to his buddy Thanos. Makes sense, right?”

“So, once we get home with the stone, can’t we just stick it in a blender so Thanos can never have it and destroy the world?” you asked.

“That’s exactly what I said. Thank you, Y/N, thank you.”

After a brief moment of silence and self collection, Tony was ready with a plan.

“Ok, so here’s what’s going to happen. I’ll-”

“Don’t forget to add me!” Peter said as he dropped down from the ceiling on a web.

You and Tony jumped at his adolescent voice, but quickly realized that it was only Peter and not some alien brute who wanted to eat your stomach for breakfast.

“Wait, but I thought you said...” you began asking Tony.

“Peter! What the hell do you think you’re doing here? How are you still here? Better come up with a good explanation, and fast. Now that I have three people and not two, some live bait would be a great option to get the worm away from the wizard, so spill it.” Tony demanded.

You could tell that Tony was mad - so, so mad. Which, led to the conclusion that it would be best for everybody if you just stayed out of this conversation. 

“Please don’t use me as Squidward bait, Mr. Stark. I have a perfectly good reason for being here,” he paused and thought for a moment, “You know, now that I think about it, it doesn’t even make sense to me why I snuck back on so I’ll just keep it to myself.”

“Good. Save us all from five minutes of you trying to irrationally explain another ill thought out decision,” Tony said, “Now, for the plan.”

“From what I can tell, and I hope you guys can too, our magician friend Squidward over there possesses some form of telekinesis. He also obviously has the upper hand since it’s his ship, so we’re going to have to maintain an offensive position so we don’t get pushed into retreat and get lost in the maze of hallways. I’ll get his attention while you guys get into your respective positions. Y/N, you’ll be in that corner behind those boxes. Peter, on the ceiling. When it seems like the worm is about to engage in a hostile attack, Y/N will throw her shield at his face, hopefully breaking the force that has been keeping the wizard suspended mid air. Squidward will most likely go over and lash out at Y/N for hitting him, leaving Peter to transport the wizard to a safe location. You’ll have to give Peter plenty of time to get the wizard out of harm’s way, Y/N, so try and keep Squidward stalled for a couple minutes. I’ll run over to the ship’s controls, turn around our course, and finally neutralize Squidward. Sounds like a plan?” Tony finished, looking to you and Peter for recognition. 

You and Peter looked at each other, then nodded back at Mr. Stark.

“Ok. In positions, then. Let’s get this shit show over with.”

The plan was going perfectly. Peter was taking your new found friend to safety as Tony was seemingly successfully fiddling with the ship’s system and you were holding your own against Squidward, who was apparently named Ebony Maw. 

This nightmare is going to be over in no time, I just know it.

“There was a girl in my English class called Ebony, you know. Haven’t heard from her since she got arrested for doing cocaine, though. Hey, you two have a lot in common - for example, you both are crackheads.” you said noting to the several dents and horrendous wounds on his head as you launched your shield at him.

“Pathetic,” said the always disgusting Ebony Maw as he effortlessly flicked your shield away, “Your primitive remarks are just a ploy to cover up the fear and insecurities bellowing inside of you. No matter, I’ll find a way to get it out of you.” he said as he threw you up 10 feet in the air and pinned you against the wall.

So maybe I shouldn’t have jinxed myself by thinking this was going well?

“Try to stay as still as possible,” the rotting beetle said, “The more you struggle, the more they hurt.”

You watched as the same tiny glass spears which put the wizard in so much pain grew closer to your face, Maw laughing in joy at the pain you were about to endure.

I’m starting to think that Tony didn’t think out his plan as much as I thought he did. 

You didn’t want to ruin Mr. Stark’s chances of reversing course, or endanger Peter’s life for second time in the span of 24 hours, so you sat in silence and waited for the crystal daggers to pierce your smooth skin.

“Oh shit!” Peter said as he ran back into the room, “Uhhh, Mr. Stark?!” he yelled as he pointed at you to get Tony’s attention.

You watched as the red and gold iron man suit turned to look at you and froze in place once it saw what was happening. Thankfully, the man on the inside can process and fix a problem at rapid speeds.

“Hang on to something!” Tony yelled as he blasted a hole through the side of the ship, sucking Ebony Maw out into space. The wizard was almost lost to the black vortex as well, but Peter managed to get to him in just enough time.

You fell to the floor with a loud thud, and got up rubbing on the shoulder you landed on.

“Yep. That’s going to leave a mark.” you said, walking over to join Tony, Peter, and the wizard at the main console of the ship.

“You know, you could have just said something if you needed some help. I had nothing better to do, considering that we can’t turn this ship around.” Tony said.

“Oh be quiet,” you said, “It was all part of the plan. Well, my plan at least.” you responded.

“Yep, you just keep on telling yourself that.” Tony said with a little bit of smugness.

You looked at Peter and rolled your eyes, while Peter just shrugged at you in response. Peter and Tony started discussing ways to get back home while you turned around and retrieved your shield from the corner of the room that Maw effortlessly flicked it into.

Ew - I better disinfect this thing when I get home.

“Thanks, by the way.” the wizard said to Tony solemnly as you lightly jogged back to the group.

“Thanks? I mean, sure, all we did was sneak into a foreign ship and get stuck in space to save your sorry ass. But yeah, sure, ‘thanks’ is just enough.” Tony said as he finished up melding the giant hole in the side of the ship together.

After silence filled with tension and uncomfortable glances between you and Peter, the kid had decided to slice through the awkwardness with a light conversation starter.

“I’m Peter by the way.” Peter said, stretching his hand out to the wizard for a shake.

“Y/N.” you said as you joined Peter by the wizard.

“Doctor Strange.” the wizard simply stated, neglecting to shake either your hand or Peter’s.

“Oh, we’re using our made up names. Then I’m Spider-Man.”

Doctor Strange gave Peter a look of both discomfort and confusion at the same time, and then went back to ignoring you and the other minor.

“I think he likes us. What about you?” Peter asked.

“Eh - I think he’s undecided.”

“So, here’s the deal,” Tony began, gathering everybody’s attention, “F.R.I.D.A.Y said that the ship’s basically stuck on full throttle, meaning that we’re on a one way trip to Thanos’ man cave.” 

“We can just turn the ship around once we land, right? Or just find another one?” Peter asked.

“That won’t work.” Doctor Strange furiously retorted. “We can’t let the time stone get anywhere near Thanos. I swore to protect the stone, not hand deliver it to the cruelest malefactor in the known universe. You need to figure out how to turn this ship around.”

“With all due respect, sir, Tony Stark is the smartest man on Earth. If there was a way to turn the ship around, he would have already done it.” you said to Strange.

“Ok, guys, just hear me out,” Tony started, “We’ve got what Thanos wants. He’s going to be sending all of his resources down to earth to retrieve the mind stone, meaning that he will be virtually defenseless. Well, as defenseless as a Titan can be. Why not use that to our advantage? Storm the castle, slay the dragon, and prevent any further damage from being done. We don’t know exactly how many stones he has now, but we know he doesn't have them all. He won’t be expecting a fight on his turf - we’ll have the complete element of surprise.”

“Absolutely not. No, Tony. I can’t do that. If Thanos gets a hold of the time stone, there’s nothing we can do to stop him. Turn this ship around now, Stark.” Strange said, raising his voice.

“Come on, Strange. If we don’t get the jump on Thanos now and give him time to retrieve the other stones, there’d be no Earth left to fight for when we got back. We will get our assess handed to us, no doubt about it, but it’s better than letting our home suffer because we chickened away from a fight.” Tony said.

“It’s almost a suicide mission. We’ve got no backup, no knowledge of the land, no certainties about everything. All of this is theoretical. It’s just,” Tony sighed and took a moment to collect himself, “If we didn’t even try to stop Thanos, and he got to Earth and attacked an almost vulnerable planet, it’d be all our fault. We’d sit there saying “we could have prevented that, millions of people would still be alive if we would have just done something” - we have the chance to prevent that, right now. So why wouldn’t we?” Tony turned away from the wizard and walked over to the console, head in his hands.

“Fine, Stark,” Strange said after a few moments, “Just know that if I have to decide between you all and the stone, I’m choosing the stone.”

You looked at Peter, who furrowed his eyebrows at Strange’s last comment. He walked over and stood on one side of Tony and you followed, standing on the other side. The three of you sat in silence, staring at the vast realm of stars before you.

“Alright, gang, The landing sequence has begun. Peter, come over here.”

You and Peter had been sitting on the floor against a wall taking various naps and discussing the future for the past few hours, so having to actually do something was quite the change.

“Yes, Mr. Stark?” Peter said as he quickly hopped up and ran over to the console.

“We’ve got to land this thing manually, and I’m too small to reach the other handle. This thing was designed for a big boy like Thanos after all. Grab that other thing right over there. No, not that thing. Look where I’m pointing, Peter. There you go.”

You hopped up and strapped your helmet back on your head (you knew it wasn’t the best idea to take it off in the first place, but who takes a nap with a heavy thing like that crushing their skull?), and slipped your shield back onto your forearm. You considered offering Tony and Peter some help, but decided to stand out and watch with Doctor Strange.

“Are you Captain America’s sidekick or something? I apologize, but I’ve never seen or heard of you before.” he said.

I knew that question was going to come eventually.

“No, not a sidekick. Just an avenger.”

“So what exactly are you capable of doing, Miss Y/N?” Strange asked, not removing his eyes from the entertaining sight of Peter and Tony struggling to land the ship from two separate sides of the console.

“It’s a little hard to explain. I was in an accident, Steve was the only person who had the same blood type as me, he donated blood, and somehow, by the grace of God, I inherited the super soldier serum. So yeah, I’m something like Captain America.”

“Interesting. That didn’t sound too hard to explain.”

“Actually, doc, it’s a lot more complicated than that. But, I’ll save the rest of the story for another day.” 

“I’d share it now if I were you, Miss Y/N, since it’s not a 100% guarantee that we’ll have another day.”

“Alright, then, Strange, I’ll tell you my origin story. It was just your average morning in the Y/L/N household - my parents were out, my sister made cinnamon rolls, and naturally, since I didn’t have school, I found myself waking up at 11 am. Just as I was walking down the stairs to have breakfast, I -”

You were interrupted by a sudden and severe rattling of the ship, sending you and Strange tumbling about since neither of you were holding onto something to begin with.

“Hey, thanks.” you said as Strange somehow caught you - until you realized it wasn’t Strange, but his red cape.

“I guess chivalry isn’t dead after all.” Strange said, getting up from the floor.

“Look alive, people,” Tony said as he turned around from the console and joined you and Strange in the center of the floor with Peter slowly in pursuit.

“We’re here.”

TAGS ~ 

@infinite-exist-ence @sataninsatin @tinyclockss @markusstraya @sassyandclassyx @scarletracoon @peachiis @voidrivaille

[shayanderson-blog]

Post Malone has been in the spotlight a lot in the past few months with the release of his new album Beerbongs and Bentleys. He is a very controversial topic, and he has even been called the Donald Trump of hip-hop (New York Times- Rob Stevenson). The people who love him, really really love him, and the people who don’t like him, really really hate him. Both sides have such strong opinions and both sides seem very willing to tell everyone exactly why they feel how they feel. Post Malone is a singer that can’t be put into any one genre but he makes music that almost everyone can relate to in one way or another, whether you like him or not. Most people just pick a side without really knowing him anyways so here are five reasons why Post Malone should be more widely accepted today.

Post says what he thinks without the worry of the lashback he will get from stating his opinion. This could really swing both ways and be a good or a bad thing but with him specifically its on the good side because he’s already so under the magnifying glass all the time that it takes a lot of courage to have a vocal opinion on anything. Although people do get mad at him, he still does what makes him happy anyways and does what he wants to do. You could even pull his facial tattoos into this “does what he wants” category because it’s it the minority that would ever get a facial tattoo and barley more than that agree with someone else having one. He actually has six tattoos on his face and his reason for them was “Anything to piss my mom off”. Of course that right there is not the best example of how you should be, but it is a great example of doing your own thing if it makes you happy even if you are one hundred percent sure that people are going to disagree. “You just go with the floe because life is just all about how you feel” -Post Malone. Famous people are always told to stay out of politics and all that because they don’t want their opinion to drop their ratings because of the people who don’t agree with said opinion, but Post has never really worried about that and he shouldn’t have to, if you are a true fan of the music something not music related shouldn’t affect that. Even if you don’t agree with his opinions, you have to respect that he is willing to give his opinion on things because most famous people won’t.

Almost every single person can relate to Post Malone in general, not just his music but really his life too in a way. Just like writing a report, it’s a lot easier to write about something you love and something you are passionate about, and if you do this then your final product will turn out a lot better too. Post had to leave his family and live in at one of his friends houses in another state while he was working on his music. Which turned out to be the best thing that he could have done for himself at the time because he would sing in the background of his roommates youtube videos and eventually that is how his name started popping up. He worked for every ounce of fame he has. Malone went out into something he knew nothing about in an unfamiliar place with only the friends he was living with because he had such a determination to get to where he wanted to be and that is beyond brave for a teenager to do. That along with him writing his own lyrics make him easier to relate to. His lyrics are mostly about his real life and what’s going on in it so it's a lot more genuine then some. This is impressive because a lot of people only sing to get famous and get money but Post has more of the loving the music and what he does aurora about him.

The song that brought him into the main spotlight was not originally written to ever be recorded and the song was completely written only two days before it was recorded. White Iverson was that song. Even just this title alone gives little peak into Posts personality. Post said himself that the name White Iverson came to him right after he got braids in his hair and thought it looked like Allen Iverson's signature cornrows. It takes a crazy amount of talent to get a whole song written and recorded within three days and have it turn out with the popularity it got. This song is what got his first album Stoney out and produced, then that blew up with hits and got him to Beerbongs and Bentleys. When White Iverson first came out everyone thought it was just going to be one of those one hit wonder songs where the original artist was never heard of again, even Post Malone himself hinted he thought it was just a fluke and it was a one time thing, but that definitely was not the case. As time went on and he produced the Stoney album, it became so famous just to prove all the people that doubted him completely wrong, which was the best thing that could have happened to Post.

Post Malone loves what he does and he always does it with so much passion. If you ever just listen to Posts long lyrics or just look them up you can see this so strong, just how far his passion goes into his music. The emotion in the lyrics and then how he puts them into his songs is amazingly well done which a lot of artists don’t focus on as much. Almost all pop artists seem to only care if they have a catchy beat because that’s what will stick in people's heads and get them on the radio, without very much care for what their lyrics actually mean. Post Malone writes about real life things, even when he’s only doing so through metaphors, it is still there. Then when he is singing the reflection of emotion he puts into his voice shows off the idea again that the lyrics mean something to him and that he is really getting into his music. This is another case where even if you don’t agree, or in this case like, his music, you have to appreciate and respect the amount of passion and dedication he has put into his music and career. “You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to keep it real” -Post Malone.

He is very independent and is very unique. When he was younger he self taught himself the beginnings of how to play a guitar from playing Guitar Hero, he writes his own lyrics, and he moved far away from his family to chase his dreams. Those are all things that most people probably wouldn’t do alone, or just wouldn’t do at all but Post did. His song Rockstar broke the record for most streams in a week on Apple music. According to Pigeons and Planes, “Post Malone is currently listed as the second most popular artist in the world based on streaming numbers and digital sales.” His first mixtape he made was when he was in high school so he started pretty young, and he was singing and producing throughout all of his high school years. Another thing that shows you a little about his personality is how he got his stage name. His real last name is Post so that’s how he came up with that, and he got the name Malone from a rap name generator, which is probably something no one ever expected a real famous person to do. Post Malone gets a lot of hate for being a white rapper and is constantly being told that he is trying to act another race or trying to pretend that he is from a different culture then he really is but he has said himself where he came from and what type of life he had growing up, and it wasn't bad but he’s never hinted he had a hard upbringing.

There’s people who have gotten very vocal about their opinion on Post Malone's choice to not stick to one genre, and say that he can’t jump from one to the other and he needs to know more about whatever genre he picks to stay in (Amino-krpnyy27). It’s really the artists choice though. I don’t see the people saying that up there on the stage so they shouldn’t be able to tell him what to do. Even if there opinions were relevant, which in all reality they just aren’t, most people must not mind him not picking a genre because he's clearly famous and his songs all sell like crazy and it definitely isn’t because of his looks. It really does not matter what the “normal” thing to do is as long as whatever you are doing works for you. And over a millions Stoney albums sold in the month it was released seems to be pretty good by anyone's standards, so you can’t say it was a “bad” album.

Beerbongs and Bentleys is a peek into the like of a musician. It makes you feel like you are a part of Posts every day. Some artists only sing about the good parts of being famous and some only sing about the bad/sad parts of their lives but in Posts music he gives a clear image of both sides of the fence and gives a better picture of everything he goes through. Post wanted this to be his best album out and just twenty minutes before it released he tweeted to “TURN THE **** UP” about Beerbongs and Bentleys. Most of the songs are pretty upbeat but there is one acoustic song that makes the album a lot more diverse. Post Malone loves his music and wants his fans and everyone else to love it too, he’s not going to change his style just to please people but his music is something that makes because you can tell he has so much effort into it, it just gives you a rush of emotions with every new song that comes on. Even if you don’t love the man or his music, you have to have respect for his fame and how he got to where he is now.

[strangeremembrances]

Is the film as good as the book Megan? 🙏

WORLDS COLLIDE! Hannah! 

Oh god, this is a question. I have a free evening so you’re getting my full attention and I’m always in the mood to talk CMBYN and unleash my ridiculous love so here goes!

First off, I will try not to be spoilery…. BUT THIS IS HUGE AND I HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE INTO HEART EYES MODE BUT HERE IS MY OVERVIEW.

I have loved the novel for so many years that it holds such a special and important significant for me so that’s difficult to compare anything to. I was 19 when I first read the novel and I’m nearly 29 now so that’s nearly 10 years of adoration….

That’s why I was terribly nervous when I heard they were making a movie. That kind of changed when I saw Armie’s instagram wayyyyyyyy back when in January 2017 around the same time as Sundance and he tagged it #billowyblueshirt - I pretty much lost my mind!!! I mean, THAT IS OLIVER. That’s how I pictured him  (minus baby Harper of course!). He was a little younger looking in my head but Armie looked SO MUCH like the Oliver in my mind.

And then this came out:

I was so stunned because I didn’t really know much about Timmy. I recognised him from Homeland but that was it and yet, he looked like Elio. Again - I had the same response! He looked like the Elio I’d imagined in my head and that tiny clip made me so excited. It still didn’t stop me from being nervous as you can’t get much from a little clip but by the time the main trailer came out, I was BEYOND excited because so much of what I’d imagined was in front of me and so close to how I’d always pictured in my mind. Plus, the shots were so pretty and almost art house that it didn’t feel like they’d cheapened it or gone for the obvious adaption they so easily could have. 

The trailer I first saw was this one:

I swear to you, the moment I saw the part where Elio says “listen, when the time comes, this is how he’ll say goodbye to us…Later”, I stopped being nervous. Completely. That scene still kills me.

I desperately tried to get tickets to the BFI screenings but they sold out so I could only see the movie opening night in the UK on 27 October but it was one of my favourite and one of the most memorable cinema experiences I’ve ever had, second to possibly seeing Titanic when I was a kid.

Yes, there are parts of the book that I wish were in there that sadly didn’t make the cut. I made a post about that ages ago. I have a tag on here that has all my ramblings under (HERE!) but I think I talked about that. 

Does it have some flaws? Of course! There are a few editing moments that I thin would make non-novel readers unsure and some of the dialogue remains unexplained… unlike in the novel but I do wonder whether some of that is by choice to allow the viewers the ability to make up their own mind. I am definitely able to cast a critical eye but I am so fond of the movie as a whole and a novel!fan that I can’t help but be overly descriptive and gushy haha. It’s a marmite kind of thing for many and none of the characters are perfect in the book or movie but that’s what I love. They just happen to be fascinating and interesting to me.

SO NOW FOR THE RAMBLING……

The movie is different from the novel. There is about 1/3 of the novel in the movie. The entirety of Ghost Spots is gone. Most of San Clemente Syndrome is also gone. But yet the movie doesn’t suffer because of it. Luca has talked endlessly (and oh god i have wanted every single interview he’s done for this movie, I’m sure. I’m sure an admirer) about his decisions for the movie and one of the big ones is that he wanted the audience to grow with Elio. He didn’t want the novel’s reflective nature or the Proustian thing clouding the audience’s judgement of what was happening. He didn’t want voice overs or a narrator and, in my view, it is HANDS DOWN the best thing he did. You experience EVERY SINGLE MOMENT with Elio. From start to finish, you’re with him during his summer and you disappear. The movie is so immersive and beautiful for that, I’m so grateful to him. 

PLEASE GO SEE THE MOVIE IN A CINEMA. That’s the best advice I can give. I hope it’s showing in the UK still where you are. Just take that time out and go see it. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is. From the second the credits start (and i swear, they’re some iconic bloody credits. The second I hear Hallelujah Junction *goosebumps*) it’s just the kind of movie that lifts you out of your life, drops you into Italy in the Summer and you spend every moment experiencing every second with these characters.

As for the comparison of the characters in the novel to those on screen. THIS IS WHERE I GET EMOTIONAL. Elio. Oh Elio Perlman is my sweetheart. The first time I read the book, I got him. He taught me so much about being brave. But novel!Elio is DRAMATIC as I’m sure you’re aware if you’ve read the book. He is hormonal and ridiculous and weird as hell. He’s so OTT and it the world’s most unreliable narrator so to play THAT right is just the most difficult task and it was what I was most frightened of. Let me tell you…. everything, EVERYTHING, that critics said about Timmy’s acting and his portrayal of Elio is spot on. It is one of my favourite piece of acting I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. All of those Elio thoughts and feelings in the novel, all the internalisation and the intense thoughts he has… getting that across is a TASK and you read them all on Timmy’s face. I can’t even list them. It’s every damn scene. Moments of note are the dinner table scene where Oliver doesn’t show up. I even made a post of this because it stunned me to much (HERE!). The scene in Mr P’s office when Oliver’s showing off about his apricot knowledge and novel readers know that Elio is already enamoured and thinking filthy thoughts…. it’s ALL THERE on Timmy’s face. I could go on and on and on about him and how he quite frankly blew my mind but the main thing I keep coming back to is that movie!Elio is a JOY. He is an absolute delight to behold. Novel!Elio is so intense and because you’re inside his mind, it’s difficult to see him the way the world does. Movie!Elio is so lovely. He’s every bit as intense and kind of difficult and bold and hormonal as novel!Elio but he’s also light and fun and playful and SWEET. He’s EXTREMELY SWEET. There are some tiny little moments that are so effervescent and make me smile so much because Elio sparkles on screen. He dances and shimmies and lazes about, he touches everything in sight, he climbs Oliver like a tree, he smiles and argues and fusses and swoons and is just PERFECTION. I’m not going to go on and on because I’d spoil stuff…. the ending thought. The very final 2 seconds of the movie are forever etched into my brain. 

As for the movie itself. It’s blissful. The cinematography is breathtaking. You feel part of the home and the landscape and Luca’s heart is in every frame. It’s like a painting. The music is wonderful and fills every scene with nostalgia and this sense that the Perlman’s are effortlessly cultured. The editing AHHHHH. GOD. There are some editing choices that I could kiss Walter Fasano for. It has an arthouse feel (MY FAVOURITE), and is SO LONG. It’s a very long movie and that was the biggest treat. There are directorial choices that I want to cuddle Luca for, namely how certain scenes are framed - especially the nosebleed scene and the entire MIDNIGHT sequence. That sequence is long and drawn out but constructed with little details so beautifully.

The other characters are so RICH and I was devastated to let them go when the movie ended. Annella is so much more than in the novel and I adore her. Marzia is WONDERFUL. Mafalda is every bit as sassy and great as the novel even if her part is smaller. But the VP is Mr Perlman. Reading the novel, anyone will remember and feel moved by his speech to Elio about life and love and letting yourself experience life: good and bad. The movie version moves me to tears from start to finish, every single time I see it. Mr Perlman is a GIFT in this movie. Every single character was so real and warm and the family moments are some of my favourites from movie.

Finally, the chemistry. Everyone has chemistry with EVERYONE. Notably, Elio and his parents. The level of affection in this movie is off the charts. Everyone hugs and kisses and cuddles and touches and it’s the most refreshing thing. But obviously the chemistry everyone wants is between Oliver and Elio and it’s so natural and almost unstaged (especially the midnight scenes) that I was speechless. They are wonderful together. It’s so clear that Timmy and Armie became friends. They shot the movie chronologically and much of the way the movie developed and occurred was how Timmy and Armie met and became friends. Watch any interview… haha. They are special on screen together.

My absolute FAVOURITE thing though is how the movie is so thin on dialogue. Compared to most movies, it is sparce and treats the audience intelligently because so many of the BIG moments are simple and delivered through nuanced acting (specifically by Timmy and notable by Armie in the goodbye portion of the movie). There’s no exposition, very little emotional talk as it is SHOWN and that is hands down the reason this movie resonated with me so well because that’s what I wanted from an adaption of the book. I didn’t want Elio TELLING us, I wanted to see it. And you do. VERY WELL.

So yeah, ESSAY DONE. I could ramble on and on. I truly ADORE the movie. It is up there with my all time favourites and I said after seeing it for the first time, that gratitude is the overwhelming thing I felt when I walked out of the cinema and after I’d picked my broken heart up off the floor…. my feelings haven’t changed.

If Luca sticks by his intention on sequels to follow Elio’s life, well I’m on board. I’d have NEVER said that last year. I’d have never wanted anyone to touch the novel or expand on the novel for a second. But I trust Luca. I’m pretty much a bloody disciple at this point hahaha. I fell head over heels for these characters and I don’t want to never see them again - especially Elio. Once you’ve seen Timmy’s Elio, I’d defy anyone to NOT want more.

So, in summary. THE MOVIE IS MAGICAL. It is different from the novel in some areas, in some it brings to life the pivotal moments in the first portion of the novel and although it misses out some of my most cherished portions of the novel, in my view, the movies doesn’t suffer for it. I hold them both dear for different reasons and they compliment one another in the loveliest way!

[rebeccaheyman]

reading + listening 9.29.20

It was another week of soaring highs and middling mediocrity, but fortunately no DNFs. Notably, I’ve been dragging my heels on PIRANESI by Susanna Clarke, which has been sitting on my desk in gorgeous hard cover since release day. You ever want to love a book so much that you’re afraid to actually read it? No, no, me neither. Here’s hoping I get brave this week. In the meantime...

It’s Been a Pleasure, Noni Blake (Claire Christian), eBook ARC (US pub date February 2021). I loved this book so much that I’m already looking forward to owning the aBook once it’s available, just so I can relive the magic in a new way. Here’s my five-star NetGalley review: 

I have discovered the antidote to the unmitigated disaster that is the year 2020, and it is IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE, NONI BLAKE. I inhaled this book in under 24 hours and feel soul-satisfied in a way I forgot existed. NONI BLAKE is a rom-com that's so much more than a rom-com; it's as much a character study as LESS and as much a travelogue as WILD, with the sweetness of Mhairi MacFarlane, the delicious heat of Sally Thorne, and the humor of every best friend you've ever gotten drunk with. It is, in a word, perfect.

When I say this book has it all, I am not kidding. In it, you will find: - an average-bodied woman finding sexual empowerment and body positivity - a Scottish book boyfriend for whom you do not need to travel through time - healthy adult friendships - A+ Bechdel Test score - adventurous, consensual sex that is at times hilarious and at other times really, really hot - situational comedy that will legitimately make you laugh out loud - adults who talk openly about their feelings in an authentic, mature way - portrayals of grief that range in severity from mourning the loss of an unborn child to coming to terms with years of self-criticism and negativity - rich, descriptive prose that does not drag down pacing - excellent plotting, perfectly balanced with the protagonist's complex internal journey

...the list goes on. This book is joy exemplified. I can't wait to give it to every woman I know. My only complaint is that the world needs this book immediately to inoculate us against the tidal wave of awfulness bombarding the globe, and yet it won't be released until 2021.

Notably, Australian readers have access to NONI BLAKE as of... today (!), so if you happen to be reading this in Australia, please do yourself a favor and buy this book immediately. And if there’s someone you especially like elsewhere in the world, maybe box up a copy and spread the love.

Act Your Age, Eve Brown (Talia Hibbert), eBook ARC (pub date March 2021). I know, I know -- how many contemporary romcoms with the exact same title structure can I read in a single week? Real answer: 2. But based on how fabulous both these titles were, I’m open to more. Here’s my four-star NetGalley review:

I've decided it's entirely impossible to read the Brown Sisters series without feeling amazing. Hibbert's writing is so smart, funny, and full of A+ banter -- not to mention scorching-hot heat -- that it almost feels like we don't deserve her books' nuances, diverse representations, and patriarchy-shaking feminism.

But we do deserve it, actually, and it's all there in ACT YOUR AGE, EVE BROWN.

If at first Eve seems flighty and difficult to connect with, don't discount the intentionality of her characterization. In a tidy narrative trick, Hibbert gives us the very experience that defines many of Eve's friendships: while the youngest Brown sister may have made a great first impression in Chloe and Dani's books, her flightiness feels off-putting once she takes center stage. But sticking with Eve -- instead of pushing her to the margins of our two-person social circle -- has a massive pay-off, as she soon reveals herself to be intensely focused on helping others, spreading joy, and baking delicious cake. It's a side of Eve too many of her "friends" never get to see -- but Reader, we do. And it turns out, Eve is a wonder.

Many of Eve's quirks align with behaviors on the autism spectrum; while Jacob's autistic presentation is perhaps more conventional, Eve's traits are equally validated by Hibbert's sensitive, nuanced treatment of the disorder. Romance + autism usually means antisocial behaviors, rigidity, and/or Asperger's-like presentation (The Kiss Quotient/Bride Test, The Girl He Used to Know, The Rosie Project... the list goes on). But ACT YOUR AGE explores the all important "spectrum" side of "autism spectrum disorder," and urges us to resist believing we understand what these labels mean just because we understand one small aspect of a very large picture.

All of this happens while a truly compelling, heart-melting romance unfolds. Eve and Jacob are incredibly fun to watch, and Hibbert keeps things moving at a lovely clip. I especially appreciated her resistance to the "h/h have to spend totally unnecessary time apart after an argument/misunderstanding" trope in Act III, which is a convention I would happily see go the way of the dinosaur.

Fair warning to your TBR pile: If you don't reread Chloe and Dani's books prior to picking up ACT YOUR AGE, EVE BROWN, you're going to want to afterward. There's simply no other way to maintain the rosy glow of post-Hibbert reading.

Finally, I'm predicting here and now that Mont, Alex and Tess are the next sibling trio to get the Hibbert treatment. (Please? Like...PLEASE please?)

Set My Heart to Five (Simon Stephenson), aBook (narr. Christopher Ragland, Rachael Louise Miller, Lance C. Fuller). If you combined the signature humor/love combo of David Nicholls, the deeply felt nostalgia of Ready Player One, and the bots-with-feelings hypothesis of Spielburg’s AI, you might come close to understanding what makes SET MY HEART TO FIVE so good. In the year 2054, the world has taken some unexpected turns: humans have accidentally locked themselves out of the internet, Elon Musk blew up the moon (also accidentally), and humanoid bots have been integrated into society as second-class pseudo-citizens. We meet Jared -- bot, dentist, cat-owner -- who has begun to experience curious malfunctions. With a friend’s help, and a heaping dose of old movies, Jared realizes he can feel real emotions. He resolves to journey west to Hollywood, where he’ll write a movie that changes the way humans view bots and paves the way for his bot brothers and sisters to enjoy the full range of human experience. 

Jared’s explanations of human behavior provide a satirical commentary on our curious, often contradictory behaviors (”Humans. I cannot!”). Since films from the pre-bot age figure so prominently in Jared’s emotional awakening, that same satirical analysis is applied to movie synopses, which are rendered with necessary frequency but occasionally feel like overkill. The book relies heavily on a lovely trick of narrative reciprocity; Jared is on an archetypal hero’s journey, even as he strives to write a formulaic screenplay according to the “golden rules” of the fictitious script expert, R.P. McWilliams. But SET MY HEART TO FIVE never feels hackneyed, and in more than one way proves the rule that great stories are all in the telling.

With the innocence and clarity that can only come from being something of a stranger in a strange land, Jared embraces his existence with infectious enthusiasm and charm. It’s virtually impossible not to cheer for his success, even as we’re warned again and again that a great story will “eff us in the heart” at its conclusion. Audio is brilliantly narrated by Christopher Ragland, who manages to imbue the bot cadence we expect with believable nuance and big style. 

Well Played (Jen DeLuca), aBook (narr. Brittany Pressley). I’ve got bad news for fans of WELL MET: If you wondered whether your enjoyment of Deluca’s ren-faire romcom debut of 2019 was due in large part to the book’s setting -- and more specifically, the way h/h’s interactions at the faire advanced the storyline -- the answer is yes. And why is that bad news, you ask? Well, because WELL PLAYED has none of the crackling Emily/Simon tension that carried the first book through its narrative stumbles. In book 2, the glacially slow Act I relies heavily on Stacy’s recitation of what makes her life humdrum, and a long series of email exchanges we *know* are coming from the conspicuously introduced Daniel -- even though Stacy, apparently suffering a traumatic brain injury, convinces herself it’s idiot playboy (and Daniel’s cousin) Dex. Sorry not sorry for the “spoiler,” which is impossible not to see coming from many miles away. Once this pseudo-conflict is resolved, the book boils down to situational fluff: a wedding, a squeaky mattress, the literal number of pumpkin spice lattes Stacy drinks over the course of a month. If it sounds like this is not a plot, that’s because it isn’t. The romance is low-stakes, the “uncrossable divide” that eventually separates h/h is the width and depth of a puddle, and the last third of the book is pretty much solely devoted to setting up a Mitch/April romance in book 3.

Notably, I found references to Stacy’s body-consciousness extremely strange. If we want to normalize average-sized women in romance, maybe we do that by not including, apropos of literally nothing, how “unflattering” woman-on-top sexual positions are?! Stacy is not characterized by self-consciousness, so the moments when her interiority veers toward self-criticism don’t feel necessary. I’m not saying these aren’t authentic thoughts and feelings plenty of women have, but an editor should have pushed DeLuca to answer the question to what end? Why include body hyperawareness in the precise moments when it appears? Like too much of the prose in WELL PLAYED, these inclusions felt like word-count boosting instead of dynamic character development or plot production. Sad as I am to say it, this book was a missed opportunity that shows the danger of rushing book 2 to market. 

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics (Olivia Waite), aBook (narr. Morag Sims). This book has been on my radar since its publication last summer. Gorgeous cover aside, I’m always here for diverse historical romance. Sadly, for me, the external stakes here were simply too low, and relied overmuch on the baffling revelation that men -- especially in this historical moment --  underestimate and undermine women. I never felt discernible chemistry between Lucy and Catherine. This could be due, in part, to Morag Sims’ narration, which pitches Catherine’s voice in a low, husky range that accentuated the women’s age difference. From the outset, we learn that Catherine is the widow of one of Lucy’s father’s colleagues; while Lucy is the more sexually forward woman in this partnership, there’s something a little An Education about the whole arrangement. 

On my radar this week:

Piranesi (Susanna Clarke) 

A Deadly Education aBook (Naomi Novik)

We Can Only Save Ourselves ARC (Alison Wisdom)

Angel in a Devil’s Arms (Julie Anne Long)

The Project ARC (Courtney Summers)

The Love Square ARC (Laura Jane Williams)

[chimchimvkook]

Jimin 1

I tried to finish this as soon as possible because Jimin’s birthday passed and October is almost over. A little halloween spirit and very slight jealous Jimin, very little. Also, if you haven’t noticed, my stories seem to be going very slow. I’m a person who likes the little things but if you want things to start happening, let me know! I’ll probably start making things moves faster lol sorry. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 7

BIRTHDAY WISH

Finally, it was Jimin’s birthday. You had no idea what the boys planned nor did you know if you were even part of the surprise. They were at the dance studio practicing their upcoming single so you weren’t needed at the moment. Suddenly you got a call from BTS’s manager.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah? Do you need me to come in?” you ask.

“Yeah, but first can you get some halloween costumes for the guys? We will film their annual halloween dance practice.” he says.

You arrive at the studio with a box full of costumes that the fans would hopefully enjoy. You hand it to your and she distributes the costumes. You didn’t have time to greet the members because a coworker pulls you to sit with her while the boys left to change. You sat watching them mess around and when the filming was over, so was practice. Everyone cleaned up and shared how excited they were to have the rest of the day off. One by one, everyone started to leave. You were the last one to leave and lock up the room. Since you brought the costumes, you had to put them back. As you locked up and walked down the hallway, you hear someone calling you over.

“Psst! Y/N!” someone whispers.

“Namjoon?” you ask as a door opens and someone pulls you in quickly. All the members and staff were there, except for Jimin.

“Where’s Jimin?” they ask.

“Oh, I don’t know. I thought he left?” you answer.

“Well, if he’s still here can you distract him? Take him out or whatever, just wait until Sung Deuk hyung calls him back.” Namjoon explains.

With that, Namjoon pushes you back out the door and mouths, “thank you”. You roll your eyes at him but you were happy you were part of the surprise. So, you head to the costume room and drop off the costumes. As you were organizing them, you hear the door open. You turn and find Jimin smiling at you, sweating under his hoodie.

“Hey! Happy birthday!” you happily greet him.

“Thank you.” he chuckles and walks into your hug. He then grabs a hanger and helps you put the clothes away.

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Everyone left and I’m not sure where my manager went. Then I saw you walk in here so I followed you.” he answers.

After putting away all the costumes, Jimin walks you to the lobby. You thank him for helping him and just as you were about to say bye, you remembered what Namjoon told you to do. So you decide to obey and take Jimin out.

“Hey, if you don’t have anything to do, would you like to go somewhere? On me! I owe you a gift, remember?”

“Sure! Let me just text hyung.” he responds.

Jimin and you walk to the parking structure and you unlock your car. He sits in the passenger seat as you put your stuff away in the back. You suggested to go to a haunted house for the October spirit. You weren’t into stuff like that but you really wanted to try it out at least once. You also thought Jimin was into scary stuff but boy were you wrong.

You arrived at the haunted house and texted Namjoon where you were. It took us 20 minutes to get here and these things take about an hour a half, so you thought that was enough time for the members to finish doing whatever they were doing. You both got your glow in the dark wristbands and waited in line.

“So haunted house huh?” Jimin asks.

“Yeah, I know. I just really wanted to try it out! Recording you guys dance in your costumes made me so excited for halloween. So I wanted to do this before they close.” You explain.

He just chuckles at you and asks, “do you like scary stuff?”

You respond with a shy smile and say, “not really. I’m such a baby but I want to try this.”

Jimin appreciates you being honest but respects you for trying to be brave. He couldn’t help but smile at you. Jimin was honestly scared but he didn’t want to worry you so he tried to act brave as well. The line was getting shorter and soon it was your turn to go. Jimin entered first and you couldn’t help but grab Jimin’s arm. He was ahead of you but your gesture made him pause. He looked at you with a sweet smile and grabs your hand instead.

You walk in together and enter a third room and it was pitch black. You couldn’t see anything and the air was very cold. You grabbed Jimin’s arm with your other hand held on to him very tightly. He led you to another room. This time, there was fog. There were shadows everywhere and this time Jimin pulled you in closer. He let go of your hand and put his arm around you so you hugged him from his side. At this moment you look up at him and notice fear in his eyes. He looked down at you and smiled a little. This made you chuckle because he was trying so hard to act brave. Something popped up and you guys screamed and turned around. There was a clown suddenly chasing you guys so you both ran out screaming, hand in hand. You walked out a door and made it out, letting go of his hand. Both you and Jimin started dying laughing. He stood up straight and walked closer to you.

“Good job! We did it.” he says as he pulls you into a hug.

“Thanks haha, we did it,” you smile into his shirt, “Wanna get something to eat?”

Jimin responds with a nod as he checked his phone. He had 3 missed calls from his manager and 5 texts from the members asking him where he was. He opened a text from Jin and it read, “dude, where are you? Manager hyung called all of us wondering where you were. He found your wallet at the practice room.” The rest of the texts were about the same thing. He panicked and reached in his pockets. His wallet wasn’t there.

“Hey, I’m sorry. We have to go back to the studio.” he apologizes.

“No worries! It’s fine. We can go eat after?” you suggest.

As you head back to your car, you get a text from Taehyung. It read, “where did you guys go huh? *wink emoji*” he sends another text, “Namjoon hyung says to hurry. We’re all waiting.” You smile as you respond to Tae, letting him know you were on your way back. Jimin catches your smile.

“Who are you talking to?” you ask.

“Oh, Taehyung was asking if I knew where you were.”

The car ride was silent. Jimin was kind of jealous. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way you were smiling when you were texting Taehyung. First of all, why was he texting you? Were you guys texting buddies? How did he even get your number? Jimin couldn’t stop thinking about how close you and Taehyung have gotten. Jimin didn’t even have your number.

You finally arrive back at the building. You both walk up to room and you text Taehyung that you guys have arrived. The lights were on in the room and you laugh when you see it turn off. “How slick” you thought to yourself. You look over to Jimin and find him looking at the floor. You were glad he didn’t catch it but you couldn’t help but notice how sad he looked. You stop at the door and make him face you.

“Hey, are you ok?” you ask.

Jimin looks up at you and makes a panicked face, “oh yeah, sorry! I’m a little tired.” he lies.

“Are you sure? You don’t look tired. Is something bothering you? Come on, it’s your birthday! The birthday boy shouldn’t be sad. I won’t let that happen.”

He smiles at you, “I’m a little jealous,” he confesses, “I didn’t know the other members had your number. I thought we were close but you were already in texting terms with everyone else.”

You smile at him and just as you were going to respond, your phone lights up. You both look at it and it was a text from Namjoon. Jimin looks down again and you roll your eyes at the timing. You open it up and it read, “where are you!! You said you were here????” Instead of responding, you pull Jimin in the room with you. Just as Jimin was going to turn on the lights, you point him in the direction of a little light at the corner of the room. The members were holding up a cake with the candles lit.

“Happy birthday to you~” everyone sang. Jimin’s eyes disappeared when he smiled. He grabbed his phone and started recording everyone singing happy birthday. After he made a wish and blew out the candles, you went over to turn on the lights. When you turned, a cake war was happening. Before you could even move, you were attacked by a very hyper Taehyung. Your nose and left cheek had white frosting smeared all over it. You wouldn’t let that slide so you grab a chunk of frosting and chase Taehyung. As you finally got him, you plunged your cream-filled hand in his face. You were laughing so hard and caught Jimin at the corner of your eye. You calmed yourself down and walked back over to him.

“Surprise!” you say as you lick off the remaining cream on your index finger.

“Surprise to you too!” Jimin says.

Confused, you look up at him and he slides his index finger down your forehead. He is amused as he watches your reaction.

“Wow! You are so lucky you’re the birthday boy.” you yell at him.

Everyone finally settles down. The members took many pictures to post on their twitter. Each member then begins to tweet their birthday tweets out to Jimin. He sits next to you and asks you to take a photo of him. You take one and help him think of what to say to his international fans. Another english lesson was taking place while everyone else was minding their own business. The night grew darker and everyone decided to get some rest. After cleaning up, everyone went their separate ways.

You washed yourself up. Your face was so sticky. As you were washing your face, you looked at your reflection and paused where Jimin touched. You caught yourself smiling and tried to calm yourself. That boy. You were wondering how and why he was making you feel butterflies. This was so wrong. You worked for him. That wasn’t enough to stop you from what you were going to do. You put on the sweater Jimin let you borrow that one time. You keep forgetting to return it.

As you laid in bed, you grabbed your phone. You looked at a miss call from an unfamiliar number. You clicked on it and typed a message.

“Happy birthday! Hope you had an great time.” you sent.

“Who’s this?” the number responds.

“You could’ve just asked for my number, that’s how everyone else got it.” you respond.

“Y/N? How did you get my number?” Jimin responds.

“When you asked me to take your picture, I called my phone with your phone haha.”

“Wow! Anyways, yeah I had a great time today. Thank you for today! My birthday wish came true. Have a good night, sweet dreams!” he texts back.

“By the way, I wished that you would give me your number LOL ok bye” he sends again.

You tried so hard to stay calm but you just couldn’t. The butterflies came back again. You responded once more to say good night. You didn’t want to be annoying or seem clingy the first time you guys text. So you put your phone away and went to sleep, inhaling the rest of his scent in his sweater.

Chapters:

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[dougjpitassi]

Michael Coleman

Michael Coleman is an actor, director, producer, and mentor. He began his career the old-fashioned way by pursuing a university education. Soon after, however, he realized that his passion and ambitions go far beyond what his school was able to offer. So, he withdrew from his courses and dropped his academic career in order to pursue his dream job.  His portfolio includes performances on various venues that range from typical television and film opportunities all the way to cartoons and video games. Thus far, Michael Coleman successfully portrayed characters such as Bert Camp on Smallville, Stan on Hamtaro, Idasa on Dragonball Z, and many more.  Additionally, he works as a producer who has successfully released “The Best Day Ever” and “Thirty Seven.” The future at his company, Rebel West Pictures, is looking even brighter with upcoming releases of projects that are currently under development. 

What was your best/favorite subject in school?

I always enjoyed liberal arts much more than any other course that was deemed mandatory. I learned the principles of creating something straight out of my imagination and it blew me away. This is why I was not shocked when I found out that I am quite talented when it comes to making live programs, acting, and narrating. Also, I have always been in love with physical education as it gave me a reason to not focus on my present issues and simply play some sport to the best of my ability for a limited time. 

Where and how did you first get into the industry you currently work in?

I started by working on some local plays and making sure that I got as much exposure as possible. In the beginning, I contemplated giving up dozens of times. After a while, however, I realized that it is just a matter of time before I break through. And sure enough, I was able to find a willing mentor who connected me with a lot of opportunities where I met popular directors and got to leverage those relationships later on.

How do you keep yourself motivated?

I just think back to the reasons why I decided to become an actor and a producer in the first place. I always saw this industry as a perfect opportunity to be creative without any of the boundaries that hold people back. Once I completed my first project and got to witness exactly how it feels to be within the entertainment industry, I did not want to leave. In fact, that particular moment helped me make a final decision to do everything in my power to cross the barriers to entry and have a fruitful career. 

What kind of business ideas excite you most?

I currently have my own post-secondary education facility as well as a production company that monitors potential talents who would be a good fit here. In other words, I prioritize business ideas that give a sense of synergy. I have never been a fan of convoluted projects that are borderline impossible to even comprehend. In my case, everything is simplified to the point where I can make an investment and almost always know the explicit rate of risk that I am facing. 

Have you ever tried any unorthodox techniques to attract attention to your business?

Absolutely. If you are a hungry actor, there is very little that you will not do to catch the directors’ eyes. After all, thousands of brave individuals decide to pursue this unique career every year. Most of them, however, fall off long before the first adversity even hits them. As far as what I did, I have a history of reaching out to the same people dozens of times, sending private letters, brand-building on social media, and more. 

What personal achievement are you most proud of?

I am proud of the fact that I have been within this market for quite some time now. For those unfamiliar, the entertainment field is amongst the most unpredictable in the world. Just look at some of the outstanding actors and actresses that have been unable to live up to their expectations. So, the turnover rate is incredibly high, and people do not really stick around for a long time. Well, I am proud to recognize the fact that I have been in the same market for many years now. 

What wisdom would you have liked to share with yourself when you first started out?

I would tell myself to begin leveraging social media sooner. Doing so would have given me a better chance to put together solid e-mail lists for recruiting events as well as spend some time talking to the team.