#this is a pretty polar example of this take on lawlight

[alarici]

this is definitely influenced by lawlight i've read recently. when i was first exposed to dn yaoi at like 13 i forget which lawlight tropisms caught me but lately im drawn to ambigous badwrong bad vibes but they do love each other in their fucked up way type situations. how rich and rife. light isn't quite a trophy. L is a horrible example in every way (of a husband or senior or role model etc). in some universe where they get married where light is quite young and L is not so young there's this decade-post-facto look back on what could have been (on both side) where light is like mourning never having a college girlfriend and L makes petty jabs about picking wrong and how light hasn't lived up to his potential in xyz ways and sometimes they have really really bad vanilla missionary and sometimes light ties L to the california king's headboard and leaves him there.

it's kind of funny how certain types of marriages are a surrender of identity and agency and light is big on trying to act like he's grown when he's not but hes adamantly and very self awarely aware of the _grooming accusations_ and, like everyone in a similar relationship, thinks he's different. and maybe he really is. he really is smarter than a lot of them and knows he wanted a challenge something difficult someone, the first person ever(!) to really actually get him but when they're on vacation in monaco he thinks about flyng, and L gives him a look and makes him eat breakfast and that's that.

light is the one with the bravado and charisma and most people see him as the one dragging L around and making him hospitable and this is true in some ways and in others. well,,, they don't need to see what goes on behind closed doors. light has this idea of himself that gave up so much to be married to this super special magnetic toxic genius etc guy; this idea of himself who supports him and his career, could have been a better detective but plays second fiddle to his husband--feeding him ideas. and whenever this comes out in their cat fights L is like, then prove it, and light can never because it's L's money, L's team, L's cases, and all roads lead back to rome.

light is possessive and clingy but not clingy in the typical sense. L is paranoid (of course he is). L likes to think he neutralized a big threat by slipping a ring on it, but he's still such a damn hassle. that his husband needs to be flown back to japan see his family sometimes and that he isn't satisfied with a new raquet, or an entire tennis court, for his birthday because 'that isn't what i asked for.' even though L can't buy the stupid rothko he asked for, etc. and light didn't want the painting anyway. L does love him, loves him more with time. it's like an initial spike of obsession? magnetism when they meet in L's first year of university and (no death note au this is i think....the substances are speaking atp) then a fizzle and then they're married and slowly slowly L finds himself really really into peeling back layers and layers and seeing how much light can take and pressing /all/ of his buttons and sticking his hands too close to the fire and being a masochist about when his little minx tests his teeth.

this isn't the kind of thing im partcularly apt at writing but maybe a stretch goal. the actual ffic todo is uh,,,,,,,,,,, dn secret santa! which i totally haven't forgotten about

what compels me most about lawlight is the fucked up age gap isms wherein light is a vicious young thing who they may just put on klonopin and L is fucking insane