#this is 6 pages long but I really dislike the 2 missing pages so I don't wanna show them o////o

[cultivating-wildflowers]

2024 Reading - July

Finally, things are turning around! I managed to pick some good books to read this month; even the printed books weren't the trial they have been for me lately.

Total books: 10  |  New reads: 8   |   2024 TBR completed: 6 (1 DNF) / 26/36 total   |   2024 Reading Goal: 44/100

June | August

potential reading list from July 1st

#1 - All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy - 5/5 stars ('24 TBR, audio)

mild content warning for language and some sexual content

McCarthy's writing is some of the most gorgeous and atmospheric writing I've ever read. It's also incredibly depressing. I want to continue with the rest of the trilogy but I'm in such a mental funk after finishing All the Pretty Horses that I'm scared to keep going.

More like this: McCarthy's writing reminds me of Wendell Berry in some ways. They both have a soothing, melancholic style that is deeply immersed in the period and setting of their chosen stories. But where Berry tends more towards righteous anger, McCarthy tends toward bleak inevitability.

#2 - The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson - 5/5 stars ('24 TBR, audio)

Not at all what I was expecting from this long-time resident of my TBR. Thoroughly enjoyed. Absolutely would not recommend to most people, but I DID recommend it to Kenzie:

#3 - Shadows in Flight by Orson Scott Card - 2/5 stars (audio)

Possibly the worst missed opportunity in this series yet. We could have had so much fun with this one. It could have destroyed me emotionally. ANYTHING could have happened. Instead we had the most dull, drawn-out little episode where Bean is basically a vegetable (heh) and his bratty children argue for 200-odd pages. The discoveries aren't incredible, the revelations fall flat, the emotions don't exist, the characters are artless caricatures, and near the end I was yelling in frustration because Card had to go and get snotty and superior in the name of writing a "realistically hyper-intelligent person". All of the little things I dislike about Card's writing? All here.

Side note: I got the actual, physical audiobook CDs for this one and when I went to pick up my holds, the librarian looked at me, looked at the CD case, and said, "You know these are CDs, right? Some people don't realize that." Hoopla didn't have this one on audio and I was already physically reading two books with two more fresh from the library, so I was kind of desperate. The downside is that I can't speed up an audiobook when it's physical CDs.

Second note: The part that had me yelling in frustration had to do with Card's prediction of why artificial wombs might be outlawed in most places in a futuristic world, and why his characters thing most places are unreasonable. His take: "Because they're unnatural. Or they deprive surrogate mothers of a livelihood. Lots of reasons, but it comes down to the real reason: artificial wombs suggest that women aren't necessary, and that really bothers a lot of women." Your Mormonism is showing, Orson.

#4 - Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens - 4/5 stars ('24 TBR)

the usual content warnings apply

This book, something I probably never would have picked up on my own, came to me as a recommendation. There was some content I didn't care for (easy to skim), but the writing grabbed me from the first page and the pacing, characters, and setting were incredible. I haven't finished a printed book this quickly in ages.

#5 - The Vanderbeekers of 141st Street by Karin Yan Glaser - 4/5 stars ('24 TBR, audio)

Simply adorable.

More like this: I've only seen the movie, but it immediately reminded me of "Ramona and Beezus". The description also says it's in the tradition of "The Penderwicks", which I haven't yet read.

#6 - A Morbid Taste for Bones by Ellis Peters - 4/5 stars (audio)

Tumblr rec time! Some of y'all have been chatting about this one, so I snatched it up.

It was a fun, cozy sort of read. I definitely enjoyed it for the most part, though I felt like the ending kind of dragged. Not particularly interested in pursuing this series.

More like this: I'm not a huge fan of Father Brown (personal taste), but this had the same tone that I recall from the Father Brown collection I've read.

#7 - Network Effect by Martha Wells - 5/5 stars (reread, audio)

As good as ever.

#8 - The Food Explorer: The True Adventures of the Globe-Trotting Botanist Who Transformed What America Eats by Daniel Stone - 5/5 stars

What a treat!!! I was recommending this to people before I even finished it. Quick, fun, engaging, and informative; one of the best nonfics I've read all year. Now I want a buddy adventure film about Fairchild and Lathrop.

More like this: "Salt: A World History" by Mark Kurlansky.

#9 - Agent Garbo: The Brilliant, Eccentric Secret Agent Who Tricked Hitler and Saved D-Day by Stephan Talty - 5/5 stars ('24 TBR, Top 5 Anticipated Read)

"There are three kinds of people," [Pujol] wrote later, "those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened."

Ahhhhhhhhh this one was fantastic. Like many, I was first introduced to Agent Garbo via tumblr, and I was really hoping this book would do his story justice; it absolutely does. It is expertly compiled and written. An adventure from start to finish.

Side note: I read excerpts of this to my dad on our drive to church and already have him interested in it.

More like this: "Agent Zigzag" by Ben MacIntyre. <- also shared this one with my dad (he read it in two days) and he loved it and others from MacIntyre.

#10 - System Collapse by Martha Wells - 4/5 stars (reread, audio)

Still not quite sure exactly how I feel about this one, but I enjoyed it overall.

DNF

On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross ('24 TBR) - Either I'm dense or this (at least in the first chapter) is another case of someone with a highly specialized field of study interpreting the larger world through that lens, combined with some historical nuances that I'm completely missing. Possibly it's a worldview conflict and I ought to have pressed on for my own edification, but every page was a fresh slog.

The subject matter itself is fascinating, as is the viewpoint of someone in the medical field in the 60's. (Hello, common practice of fully sedating women during childbirth. I hate you.) The delivery is dry and academic. (Side note: I didn't realize until browsing reviews that THIS BOOK is where THE five stages of grief comes from.)

The Last Shadow by Orson Scott Card - Gave up within the first chapter after rolling my eyes every other paragraph. Hot garbage, which the good folks in the Ender subreddit confirm. I don't care how the series officially ends. Children of the Mind was a good enough conclusion for me.

The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World by Eric Weiner - Not my style at all. The man took his self-ascribed title of "grump" way too far.

Updraft by Fran Wilde - Somehow I didn't really pay attention to the fact that this was YA fantasy until I started reading. That's on me. But between an incoherent opening action scene and over a dozen Special Words introduced in the first chapter alone, it quickly became obvious that this wasn't for me.

Currently Reading:

Disorderly Knights by Dorothy Dunnett - As expected, I'm still working through this one.

Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell - I just started this one.

[micalpixel]

May Flowers Game - June 2024 Progress Report

Another month has passed, so here’s another update on my gamedev journey. The goal is to create my first video game using the Godot game engine.

(Prior Updates: May, Initial)

Research

The main goal for June was research. Play other character/exploration-focused games with no farming or combat elements and see what they do to keep things fun. Here’s what I played (or watched others play)

A Short Hike: A game about a penguin climbing a mountain. Finding new people, new areas, and moving/gliding were very enjoyable. The game’s 3D environment with pixelated graphics was also a new experience for me. A very nice cozy game.

Rakuen: I love this game. You play as a kid stuck in a hospital, trying to help other sick patients, while also exploring a fantasy world described in a book. Lots of exploration, puzzles, and focus on characters. Catchy music too. Kind of exactly what I was looking for. I think Undertale fans would enjoy this one.

The Stanley Parable: A choose-your-own-adventure game. No NPCs, just movement and a very entertaining and well-crafted narrator.

Potion Permit: You play as a chemist who just moved into a town, and must make a living brewing potions while getting to know the town, its people, and the wilderness. The first life-sim game I’ve actually beaten. The lack of time limits was greatly appreciated.

Shenmue (Watched not Played): An important piece of gaming history. I watched a playthrough of this one, just so I could see this game at its best, and not miss any important events.

Freddi Fish 2 (Watched not Played): A point-and-click adventure for children??!… What’s this doing here?!?! Well, this one wasn’t on my original list, but I realized the point-and-click game genre had many similarities with the walk/talk/trade-items gameplay I originally envisioned. Plus this one had no game-overs and no frustrating trial-and-error like many do. Studying how a different genre handled that kind of gameplay, while making it very accessible and entertaining, was a good learning experience.

Kena: Bridge of Spirits (WIP): I started this one, more for fun than research, but haven’t finished it yet. Beautiful game. As others have noted, it’s like playing a Pixar movie.

OneShot (Not Started Yet): Ran out of time. 😒 Next month. Really looking forward to this one.

All in all, I took 10 pages of notes. Things I noticed, liked, disliked, wanted to think about.

Prototype

On June 20, I began work on an actual prototype (“Prototype 1”). Code from my earlier Godot projects was collected, combined, and improved. The goal is to implement every important mechanic in the game. Everything the player should be able to DO in the game, the prototype should have at least ONE place where the player can do it. In a very condensed environment that's easy to test. Physics and graphics can be fine-tuned later. This prototype is all about functionality. For example:

Walk in 8 directions.

Talk to an NPC.

Choose an answer when the NPC asks a question which triggers different outcomes.

Walk to the edge of a room and appear in an adjacent room.

And overall, things have gone very well! I have a page-long checklist of everything I want to implement in this prototype, and it’s about half-done. :D

Except menus.

And except puzzles.

Puzzle mechanics aren’t added yet. I realized the mechanics I was planning did not have much synergy and were very simple. I also want to review the notes I took during research and study puzzles in general. So, back to the drawing board, for now. Puzzles are the next major step. And I think I have a pretty good idea how I want to change them.

Audio

I made a text-blip sound effect (hear it in the video above) and a placeholder “song” of 6 notes to use for testing music. Since this game’s art style is based on the Game Boy, I did some research on the Game Boy’s sound capabilities.

It has four “instruments” that can play sounds simultaneously, aka “channels”:

Channel 1 and 2: Pulse Channel. Each can emit a quadrangular wave

Channel 3: “Wave” channel with user-definable waveform

Channel 4: A noise wave (think static)

Channel 3 is the most fascinating imo. You can define your own timbre of the sound to be played. If you ever played a Game Boy game that had a unique-sounding song that, chances are it was a custom waveform via this channel. (Also, if you ever played Mother 3, the movie theater part with the retro-sounding music did in fact use the original Game Boy audio capabilities in the Game Boy Advance, and also includes these sounds.)

There is software that can reproduce the capabilities described above in order to create Game Boy-sounding music on a PC. I’d like to experiment with that in the coming weeks. The Game Boy was capable of some really good music. Limiting my scope to its capabilities for the same of my own sanity, plus the flexibility of that wave channel to create custom sounds, seems like it can produce some really nice results, which is very appealing to me.

Graphics

I made a font! It only includes English letters, for now, but it works! I used it in the “Save Pointy” art earlier this week and the prototype video above, and intend to use it for everything going forward.

Closing

And that’s June! Have a nice July, everyone!

[oxean-et-al]

A "Brief" Review of Wolf 359 (season 1)

So after some years of hearing a bunch of my friends make a bunch of confusing references, I decided to actually listen to Wolf 359. As of earlier today, I have finished the first season, which consists of thirteen episodes. I have a few scattered thoughts, which I will relay below (under a cut, as this got pretty long). This is not a spoiler-free review, so - caveat lector!

Overall, I thought it was pretty good, though by no means a masterpiece. The TVTropes page describes the earlier episodes as "Night Vale in space," and that's an assessment I quite agree with. This is not always to the show's detriment (Night Vale is quite good!), but it contributes to some parts of the show I'm less keen on. From what I have heard, though, these issues become less pronounced with time, and were already more minor by the end of the season.

Doug Eiffel, the main character of the show, is unfortunately my least favorite of the group. He's not one I have any active dislike for by any means, but (at least so far) he's very thinly sketched, a specific type of stock character that is a big part of the show's all-pervading mid-2010's vibe, and I do not mean that as a compliment. He's a kind of relic of the apex of geek culture, a specimen from a bygone age. From what I have heard, he ends up becoming the show's Miles O'Brien, in the sense that It Is The Law Of The Land That Eiffel Must Suffer.

My favorite episode, by leaps and bounds, was Episode 11 ("Am I Alone Now?"). It significantly raised my impression of the show, and Hera's monologue single-handedly made her my favorite character. Hilbert also had quite a good monologue, but Hera's was the only part of the show that I found genuinely emotionally resonant (again, so far). Runner-up favorite is Episode 6, "Super Energy Saver Mode," which was a fun little spooky thing.

I am less certain of my least favorite episode (none were truly bad), but I think I am going to give the "honor" to Episode 10, "Extreme Danger Bug," primarily for missed potential. It has a fascinating hook, and is set to be a good horror episode, but unfortunately Eiffel as a character fits quite poorly with the genre, and the episode suffers as a result. A runner-up for least favorite is Episode 8, "Box 953," which is just an episode of Night Vale (specifically, Episode 37, "The Auction").

The two-part finale was quite entertaining, even if the twist that Hilbert was Evil All Along could be seen coming a mile off. Eiffel's use of the oxygen mask was well set up, and Hilbert taking Hera's personality offline genuinely surprised me. I really hope she's back in Season 2, but we shall see.

I liked that Hilbert and Minkowski are named after famous mathematicians. I didn't like how Hera's name kept being pronounced /hɪərə/. Also, missed opportunity to name a character after Emmy Noether.

Looking forward to Season 2!

[bobalegsanji]

Umakemenotwannadie

Chapter 1 ☆ Chapter 2 ☆ Chapter 3 ☆ Chapter 4 ☆ Chapter 5 ☆ Chapter 6

Sanji just needs a little love in a world that couldn’t care less

Modern magic AU. Zosan. Chapters: 6/?.

Trigger Warnings: depression, substance abuse, implied drug addiction, past childhood abuse, panic/anxiety attacks

One Piece Masterlist

In the upcoming weeks, Sanji begins to find his own routine, both around the house and in his school life.  The commute to his university isn’t even very long, but he manages to miss 3 classes by taking the wrong metro before he really figures it out. 

Sanji becomes the main head of food in the household. He helps Nami with the finances, so he knows exactly how much they have for food. With her help he starts making the grocery lists, often making Franky and Chopper get the actual ingredients. He has his own notebook, safely put in the cutlery drawer, with everyone’s favourite foods, allergies and dislikes. The only pages that are still blank are Luffy and Zoro’s. 

Sanji makes sure there’s enough food for breakfast and lunch, so everyone can grab whatever they want, but he provides dinner almost every night. The only exceptions are when Chopper or Usopp beg him to order take out, which he doesn’t allow too often. Most weekends, he gives in and makes breakfast for the house anyway. He wakes up early and doesn’t even trust Chopper near the toaster, so it’s a no-brainer, really. 

Robin often accompanies him in the kitchen. She likes to read with a cup of coffee, sometimes commenting on interesting findings from her studies. Sanji enjoys the company, cooking can get lonely sometimes. Robin knows exactly when she can talk to him and when she should stay quiet because he’s too focused. 

It’s been 3 weeks since he moved in, and he hasn’t really had any trouble with the magic-users in the house yet. He was a bit wary of Usopp at the start, but that’s mostly been resolved. Nami and Usopp don’t mention magic, at least not around him, so he doesn’t have anything to complain about. He takes extra care in the morning to take his suppressants, not that he ever forgets to take them in. It’s unconsciously built into his brain, similar to breathing and hearing. Every morning, he obsessively checks whether his stock is still enough: like it could suddenly vanish overnight. He still isn’t comfortable letting anyone touch him, but luckily no one seems to mind.

Because he’s become so comfortable, he almost forgot that Usopp is a herbalist. 

Almost. Until, one moment late in the day. Sanji is completely focused on his French tarragon chicken, not completely familiar with the recipe yet. Robin is lounging in a chair near the open doors, basking in the sunlight with another book. She hasn’t bothered Sanji much, because of which he is glad, he needs all the focus he can muster to get the proportions of onions to shallots right. When Usopp comes storming in with a small, potted plant with thick, healthy leaves, he barely notices.

‘’Sanji, can I leave Peony on the counter?’’

Sanji looks up from where he was dicing the onions. ‘’I guess, why?’’

‘’She’s getting lonely in my room. I think she’d like to watch you cook.’’

He stops cutting to send a death-stare at the plant, almost like it could burst into flames at any moment. 

‘’Chopper is not going to like you taking out Peony,’’ Robin comments.

‘’I don’t care about Chopper! Look how sad she is!’’

‘’I don’t see anything off with the plant, dear Usopp.’’

‘’She feels sad. She’s lonely. I think the other plants are bullying her.’’

‘’I’m uncertain whether they have the capabilities to do that.’’

Usopp’s ears begin to turn red. ‘’They can, I told you they’re intelligent!’’ 

‘’I have no doubt about that, but I’m not sure if she’ll understand the concept of dicing cabbage.’’

‘’That is not going anywhere near my kitchen, Usopp. I’m sorry,’’ Sanji states. No way in hell is he going to let that plant-thing stare at him all evening. 

‘’Firstly, Peony knows she’s not a cabbage, so she’s not going to get scared by Sanji cutting up some vegetables near her. Secondly, it’s a she.’’ Usopp pauses, his long rant forcing him to take a breath before finishing. ‘’Thirdly, please Sanji. Chopper will be fine if you allow it.’’

‘’I’m not cooking dinner with that thing anywhere near me,’’ Sanji goes back to focusing on dinner. If he ignores the problem, it might go away.

‘’You’re not even magical Sanji, you can’t even sense her, please.’’

He opts to ignore Usopp, who’s starting to become desperate. The problem is that he knows what Usopp is talking about. He remembers pushing his mother’s wheelchair through the garden on sunny days. Remembers the vibrant auras of everything around him. The splashes of blue on some plants he could see. He was never able to really connect with them: never able to hear them, or really understand their feelings, but he knew enough to sense the dreadful sadness coming from them. He asked his mother once why they looked like that. 

‘’That’s just life, Sanji,’’ she had said with a small smile. ‘’You can’t expect everyone and everything to be happy all the time, can you?’’

It was the first time he had felt his mother’s aura shift to a more navy colour. He had never asked her again. 

‘’You have no problem with my magical herbs in your kitchen, so what would Peony change?’’ 

‘’Usopp!’’ Robin looks angry, ‘’Don’t push him.’’

 Sanji stares wide-eyed at Usopp, ‘’your WHAT?’’

Usopp cringes at his loud voice. ‘’It’s not a big deal, really.’’

He stands up to rummage through the one cabinet he filled with the housemates’ items he doesn’t use. They barely had any unnecessary possessions in the kitchen, mainly a dozen or so glass bottles filled with various herbs and some random paper plates and cutlery. He had expected the greens were Usopp’s, but hadn’t realised they could contain magic. They didn’t hold a label, and he didn’t want to just use anyone’s ingredients without asking. He had planned on asking Usopp what they were exactly and if he could use them for cooking, but he had barely entered this cabinet, so he had forgotten they were there to begin with. 

He picks up two glass bottles to take a better look. They don’t look any different from normal spices, they don’t feel different. He wouldn’t have known if Usopp hadn’t told him. 

His hands tremble as he puts the two glass bottles down on the counter. 

‘’I promise, they’re not dangerous. The left bottle is serenitea. If you brew tea from it, it helps settle your nerves. The other one is serenade. It tastes kind of like how you would imagine a sunset tastes? Like happiness and warmth.’’

Sanji can’t respond, too focused on staring at the bottles like they’re going to talk back to him. 

‘’Sanji?’’ Robin asks softly. ‘’They’re not going to hurt you.’’

‘’I know,’’ Sanji snaps. He immediately regrets it. Is he really so far gone that he’s currently raising his voice at a beautiful lady?

‘’I think... I’m just going to take Peony and go…’’ Usopp says awkwardly. ‘’Robin, can I…?’’

She doesn’t take her eyes off Sanji, who’s still staring at the unmoving herbs.

‘’You can put Peony in my room for the time being,’’ she says. 

He nods and quickly leaves. The fall of the kitchen door brings Sanji out of his trance. 

He immediately walks over to Robin, ‘’I’m so sorry for snapping, my love. I didn’t mean to get mad at you. I should never, my love.’’ He’s so mad at himself right now.

‘’Why don’t you sit down, and I’ll make you a cup of tea?’’ She offers.

He immediately shakes his head, ‘’I have to finish dinner, Franky is almost done with class and I want it to be ready when he gets home.’’ 

‘’Sanji, sit down.’’

He nods and takes a seat at the table. Robin’s wish is his command, especially after the fool he just made of himself.

‘’Again, my dear, I’m so sorry for-’’

‘’Stop apologising.’’

He nods and keeps quiet. 

She picks up the jars and before Sanji can help himself, he speaks again, ‘’I don’t really want… Want that one.’’

Robin chuckles, ‘’I know, cook. I’m just putting them back. Is regular black tea fine?’’

That settles his nerves. The little nickname is endearing, he can feel a slight blush on his cheeks. ‘’That’s my favourite.’’

‘’I know,’’ she smiles sweetly as she gets to work.  

 A couple of minutes later, she puts down two steaming mugs of regular black tea.

‘’Thank you, my love.’’ Sanji takes a sip before continuing, ‘’This is brewed to absolute perfection.’’

Robin laughs, ‘’You know, you don’t have to compliment everything I do, right?’’

‘’But everything you do is perfect!’’

She plays with the little spoon in her teacup, but doesn’t answer. The air immediately turns more serious.

‘’I think we need to have a little talk about everything,’’ she says.

He doesn’t want to. Sanji is not stupid, he knows he’s messing up whatever dynamic the house had before he came. He doesn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or change who they are, but the way he reacts sometimes is out of his own power, it’s rooted deeply in his core. 

It would be so easy for Robin to tell him this isn’t going to work. He hasn’t even lived here all that long, three weeks is nothing compared to the years of friendship they all already had behind them. But he doesn’t want to leave; no matter how uncomfortable the Usopp-situation has been, he has never been as happy as in the past few weeks living with them. 

‘’I’m sorry, it just took me a bit by surprise.’’

Robin nods thoughtfully. ‘’I could see that.’’

He cringes at her words. ‘’I don’t… I don’t want to leave,’’ he confesses.

Robin looks surprised, ‘’No one said anything about you leaving.’’

‘’I know, it’s just… I don’t want to-’’ Tears prick in his eyes. It’s pathetic, why does he feel so many emotions? He’s only known her for such a short amount of time.

‘’You don’t have to explain yourself, I understand.’’

He looks up at her, meeting her eyes for the first time since the subject came up. ‘’I don’t want to be a burden. You didn’t even really need a new housemate to begin with.’’

Robin is quiet for a long time, simply staring into his eyes. Her gaze makes him uncomfortable, but he can’t break away for some reason.

‘’Do you know anything about magic?’’

Sanji hesitates to respond. He understands more than a normal human being, but definitely not enough to be called knowledgeable about the subject. He spent the last couple of years trying to suppress any knowledge he had, avoiding everything magic-related. His father never supported him indulging in the subject after finding out what useless ability he had inherited, but he’s not about to broadcast that right now.

‘’A bit,’’ he says sheepishly.

She hums and breaks her gaze. Sanji finally feels like he can breathe.

‘’Are you willing to learn?”’

He stutters a bit, not sure what to say, ‘’I- I’m not..’’

‘’You don’t have to learn everything, nor does it have to happen overnight. I just think you’ll be a lot more comfortable once you learn it’s not as dangerous as it seems.’’

Sanji stares at his teacup. ‘’Why don’t you… Why don’t you just ask me to move?’’

‘’Because you’re happy here. I know you’re a good fit.’’

‘’How are you so sure about that?’’

Robin smiles mischievously. ‘’Because Luffy says so. And I think so as well.’’

‘’What does that even mean?’’

She sips from her tea, averting her gaze from Sanji. ‘’I’m a clairvoyant.’’

Sanji can feel his jaw drop. 

‘’You’re… You’re magic as well?’’

She nods, ‘’I didn’t want to overwhelm you.’’

He lets that sink in for a moment. 

Okay, so, it’s not just Nami and Usopp. It’s Robin as well. Nami can control the fucking weather. Usopp talks to plants. And Robin can, can what exactly?

‘’What are you?’’

‘’Clairvoyant,’’ she repeats. ‘’Basically, I can perceive and see things beyond normal comprehension. I can’t control it very well, but I get visions of the future sometimes. They’re not always reliable or precise, though.’’

She gives him some time to think about it. 

‘’I didn’t- I didn’t know,’’ he stammers,

‘’I didn’t want to overwhelm you with it. I’ve gotten a vision of you before, that's how I recognised you in the coffee shop. I think you can be happy here, with us, but you have to work for it.’’

He nods. ‘’So…. So you think learning will help me?’’

‘’I think so.’’ She stands up to refill their cups. Sanji takes his with a thankful but uncertain smile.

‘’You can think about my offer, on helping you learn, I mean. It’s okay to say yes, and it’s okay to say no. But I’m uncertain whether you will find your place here if you refuse to change your views on our… our lifestyle.’’

He nods. She’s right, he has to accommodate if he wants to keep living here. He feels so at ease here, so comfortable, he’s not sure whether he’ll ever be happy if he doesn’t take her up on her offer.

‘’I don’t have to think about it.’’

She looks at him with hopeful eyes, ‘’So?’’

‘’I want to learn. But please don’t set the pace too high. I’m… I don’t have the best experience with magic.’’

She looks pleased with his answer. ‘’Don’t worry, we’ll go at your pace.’’

He’s relieved. At least Robin has his best interests in mind, so he doesn’t have to worry about that. There is just one more thing he wonders about.

‘’So are the others also...?’’

She nods before he can finish his sentence. ‘’Do you want to know?’’

It’d be best to get it over with now. ‘’Yes.’’

‘’Chopper is both an animal empath and a shapeshifter. He can communicate with almost all animals. He can change into animals as well, but that’s a work in progress,’’ she laughs as she says it. ‘’For now, he can do a deer. But that’s about it.’’

Sanji nods. Chopper can turn into animals. Okay okay okay okay

‘’Franky is a conjurer. He needs a link of some sort to do it, usually a sigil, that helps him call forth objects from other locations. It’s pretty cool to see. He’s not allowed to do it inside the house anymore, though.

Robin stays quiet to see his reaction. When he doesn’t say anything, she continues.

‘’Brook is an empathic healer. He can heal physical wounds, but also take away mental pain, even though that’s a lot harder and doesn’t always work.’’

Sanji doesn’t react, just lets the information sink in. 

‘’Are you okay?’’ Robin asks after a while.

‘’Yes, yes, of course I am.’’ Sanji circles the rim of his teacup with his finger, still lost in thought. 

‘’We didn’t want to keep it from you. We just thought it’d be best to let you settle in before you heard.’’

Sanji nods again, ‘’Thank you.’’

He makes a way to stand up. ‘“I think I have to continue dinner, if that’s okay. You can stay here if you want.’’

She doesn’t respond. Sanji takes that as his cue to resume dinner. 

It was a good decision to let Sanji settle in before letting him know. Otherwise, he would’ve most likely packed up his bags and rented another hotel room for who-knows-how-long. But he can’t. He’s felt so out of place all his life. The warmth this house and these people give him make it impossible to just up and leave. 

‘’Sanji?’’ She says after a while.

He hums, turning around to look at her. She’s staring out of the window, gaze unfocused. 

‘’You don’t have to tell us what happened.’’

She turns her head to look at him. Their eyes meet, and Sanji can feel the hair on his arms stand upright.

‘’About the magic. You don’t have to tell us anything.’’

He just stares, at a complete loss for words. He can’t break their gaze, he can’t do anything. He’s trapped in her eyes.

Only when she looks away does he blink.

‘’That’s all.’’

He doesn’t respond, just finishes up dinner as quickly as possible before Franky gets home. He doesn’t want to know what she knows.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

It takes two days before someone approaches him about the subject again. 

Sanji sits outside, a cigarette in hand, with a study book open before him that he hasn’t read a single sentence of yet. He’s been slipping up lately, skipping lectures and classes left and right. He never cared about his studies, he just knew he had to choose something, or he’d be sitting in his hotel room all day doing nothing. He had already joined quite late in the semester. He should be happy he even got admitted into his educational leadership studies, but he couldn’t care less. The classes on finance and instructional leadership just feel a bit too much like the dinner conversations back at home. 

‘’Cook, what’s for dinner tonight?’’ Nami comes outside in the most beautiful purple dress he’s ever seen.

He smiles at the nickname. Robin started it, but the others are starting to pick it up as well. He’s glad, it makes him feel important. Like he’s actually a member of the house now.

‘’Nami, my love, you look as perfect as ever,’’ he swoons.

‘’I know, I know. What’s for dinner?’’ She sits down in the empty seat next to him, the old chair creaking under her weight.

‘’I can make whatever my lady desires.’’

She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t tell him off. ‘’I don’t care. No actually, I do. Make that thing you made last week, with the fried eggs...’’

‘’Roasted duck with mikan sauce?’’

‘’Yes! That one! Please?’’

She didn’t need to do the puppy eyes, he would’ve made her anything she asked.

‘’Of course, my dear Nami. Anything for you!’’

She laughs as she picks up his mug, ‘’Is this coffee? And is it cold ?’’

‘’Hmm. I forgot I made it. I won’t let it go to waste, don’t worry.’’

She smiles mischievously as she holds the cup in two hands. ‘’I’m glad you won’t let it go to waste, can I ask you something?’’

Sanji stumps the last part of the cigarette in an old coffee cup. No one in the house smokes, so the cup has become his personal ashtray. ‘’I’ll answer anything for you.’’

‘’Do you know how to make onigiri? And meat?’’

‘’Of course. Onigiri is easy, and what kind of meat?’’

‘’Anything is fine. Luffy and Zoro are getting back on Saturday.’’

He pauses in the middle of lighting a new cigarette. That’s news. 

‘’They like that kind of food?’’

Nami hums. ‘’Zoro loves onigiri. And sake. Luffy eats everything, but he likes meat the most.’’ She’s quiet for a moment, aimlessly staring at the clear sky. ‘’I’m happy they’re back, they’ve been gone for five weeks or so now.’’

Sanji makes a mental note to add this new information to his notebook later. He takes a long drag of his cigarette before responding. ‘’Where have they been?’’

Nami’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes. ‘’’No clue. It’s Luffy and Zoro. Luffy’s always dragging him everywhere, it’s a pain in the ass most of the time.’’

‘’They don’t go to university?’’

‘’Oh no, Zoro does. He studies sports science or something, I don’t really know. He’s barely passing whatever he’s taking anyway. Luffy doesn’t go at all. He works at the coffee shop with Usopp. We’re close with the owner, so she lets Luffy go on his random rampages occasionally.’’ 

It’s interesting to hear about them. Sanji isn’t sure what to think of Zoro and Luffy. He still feels like the odd one out every now and again, but in general he’s comfortable. What if they don't like him? Will he just have to leave, even now that he’s ready to put in the work with Robin?

He’s lost in thought. He’s so far gone, he doesn’t even notice the now warm mug Nami pushes into his hands. Only when he absentmindedly takes a sip does he realise. 

‘’Huh?’’

‘’I heated it up for you.’’

He looks dubiously from the mug to the orange-haired beauty. ‘’You did what? When did you get up?’’

‘’I didn’t!’’ she smiles.

He doesn’t get it.

She puts up her hands.

…

He still doesn’t get it.

Her smile falters, ‘’Are you an idiot?’’

‘’Guess so?’’

‘’I can alter temperatures. Not just the weather, even though I’m best at that. I can heat up small things like a cup of coffee.’’

‘’Ah.’’

It’s quiet between them. Sanji’s mind is racing, he logically knows this doesn’t actually contain magic. It’s just been heated up, and that can’t be that bad, can it? He already sipped it, and he hasn’t died yet, so it shouldn’t matter. 

He feels anxiety clawing its way up his throat, but he refuses to give in now. He promised Robin he’d try to be more comfortable with it. 

‘’Thank you, that is sweet,’’ he manages to get out. He takes another careful sip, and he can’t lie, it doesn’t taste off. It’s just regular coffee.

Nami smiles as she repositions herself. ‘’Robin said she talked to you.’’

Sanji nods as he puts down the cup. He’ll finish it while it’s still hot, but he’ll take his time. Every sip takes a small mental discussion to convince himself. 

‘’She did.’’

‘’Well, this is your first lesson!’’ Nami’s face is all sunshine and rainbows, and Sanji can’t help but show a slight smile.

‘’Thank you, my dear Nami.’’

She gets up, before she can turn around she turns her attention to Sanji once more. ‘’Also, Peony now lives on top of the fridge.’’

She skips away like she didn’t just drop a fucking bombshell on him. What do you mean, Usopp’s carnivorous plant now lives in his favourite place?

He sighs deeply. What has he gotten himself into?

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

In the five days leading up to Saturday, he gets two more lessons.

He finds Chopper sitting outside on Wednesday morning, talking to a calico cat that’s lying on the grass. He’s pushing a small bowl of water towards it.

‘’For the last time, I’m not giving you milk. It’s bad for you.’’

‘“Excuse me,’’ Sanji says, confused. ‘’What are you doing exactly?’’

‘’Sanji! This is Neko!’’ Chopper smiles brightly, hand pointing towards the cat.

The cat lazily gets up and walks over to Sanji, head bunting his leg.

‘’Hi?’’ he says awkwardly. He goes down to pet its head. The cat immediately purrs.

‘’Zoro gave him milk once, and now he refuses to drink water. Do you know how bad dairy products are for cats?’’

The cat meows.

‘’You’re so spoiled, Neko.’’

Annoyed, Chopper puts the bowl of water on the grass. ‘’Don’t you dare give him milk, Sanji!’’ He says angrily as he storms off.

Sanji just stares at Neko. Lesson two, I guess , he thinks. 

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

The third lesson happens on Friday evening. 

Right before dinner is served, Robin walks in with a big, ancient-looking book. She drops it on the unmade kitchen table with a loud slam.

‘’What is that, my love?’’ Sanji asks curiously.

‘’It’s a history book about magic. Are you free this afternoon?’’

Sanji gulps. ‘’I am.’’

‘’Good,’’ she smiles. ‘’I thought it’d be best to teach you a bit more about the origins and basics.’’

He just nods, not even trying to go against her. If Robin made up her mind, it’s basically set in stone.

After dinner, they spend the evening hunched over the book. 

It contains lots of information Sanji didn’t know yet. He had never learned the basics of magic. His father didn’t care about bringing over magical knowledge, and especially not to him. He cared more about the power Sanji and his siblings held and the possibilities this gave him. 

He learns that magic actually is as old as time. No one knows exactly where it came from or what it is. Magic is just part of some people, it’s not tangible or visible, it just exists. Magical abilities are hereditary, but it’s unpredictable: sometimes it skips a generation, or the ability gets slightly altered into a new version. In general, there are certain branches that different people have an affinity for. 

“What about making someone magic?” He asks after a while, eyes tired from staring at the letters this long.

“What do you mean?” Robin says, not taking her eyes off the ancient pages. She’s completely in her element.

“Giving someone abilities. How does that work?”

“We just read the part about how magic is hereditary, are you sure you’re paying attention?” She finally looks up at him.

“Of course I am! But what about deciding on someone’s ability? Like… Like making someone a clairvoyant?’’ 

“Oh.” She returns her attention to the page on divination. “That’s not possible. Magic is way too uncontrollable for something like that.” 

Sanji stays silent.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

The next day, he wakes up tired. Robin made him stay up until 3 am to study, which is something he’s definitely not used to. He had planned on making breakfast, but the clock on his desk read 11:03, so it’s a bit too late for that. 

He spends the next hour cleaning up whatever needs to be cleaned in his bedroom. There’s barely any clutter, both men don’t own enough to make a mess, but Sanji decides to be a good person and clean Zoro’s part of the bedroom as well. Anything to be liked by his new roommate.

Only once both his and Zoro’s beds are made, Zoro’s clothes are in the laundry basket, and the floor has been vacuumed, does the room look tidy enough. Sanji makes sure to hide his magazines in a box under his bed. It’s not the best hiding spot, but if Zoro goes looking there, he doesn’t know what else he expected to find. Lastly, he reorganises his desk. His school books go in a big pile next to it. His desk is lined up with the small amount of trinkets he’s gathered over the years, he replaced them so they’re all lined up perfectly . He rechecks the amount of pills in his drawer as he takes his daily medication. His nerves settled a bit as he finished. 

Okay, he might be a bit neurotic, but it’s a nerve-wrecking day for him to meet Zoro ánd Luffy. Cut him some slack. 

The rest of the day went on as usual, minus the exciting talk of his housemates. Zoro and Luffy returning seem to put everyone but Sanji in high spirits, who’s just getting more nervous and agitated as the clock keeps ticking.

Nami and Brook accompany him in the kitchen as he starts dinner. It shouldn’t be long until the two men arrive, but Nami reassures him he can serve dinner at the same time as usual.

“Are you okay, Sanji?” Brook asks him.

“Of course,” he forcibly smiles. “Why?”

“You’re kind of... Restless,” Nami remarks.

“Are you nervous about meeting Luffy and Zoro?”

Sanji’s ears turn a soft shade of pink. No use in hiding it. “A bit.”

“Do you want me to ask Usopp to make you some calming tea?”

“No!” He immediately declines, he’s not ready to consume anything Usopp-related yet. “I’m great, thank you.”

At that moment, the front door opens.

Nami and Brook spring up, but before they can reach the kitchen door, a small boy with a straw hat runs in.

“NAAAAMIII!” He immediately jumps into her arms, making them fall in the process.

“Luffy, be-fucking-careful will you?” She screams.

Brook doesn’t notice her cursing, or at least pretends not to, as he hugs Luffy too, putting even more weight on her. 

A green-haired man walks in after Luffy, looking very amused at the scene in front of him.

“Nice to see you too, Nami.”

She pushes Luffy off of her to run in his arms. “Don’t ever leave that long again!”

He laughs as he hugs her back, “I couldn’t let Luffy go to Europe alone, could I?”

His eyes fall on Sanji. “You’re the new one?” 

Nami hums, “That’s Sanji. He makes the best food I’ve ever tasted.’’ She pulls back to turn to Sanji, ‘’This is Zoro.”

Before Zoro or Sanji can say anything else, Luffy suddenly stands right in front of him.

“Hi! I’m Luffy!” 

He goes in for a hug, but Sanji quickly dodges, making Luffy fall flat against the fridge. 

“I told you he doesn’t like physical contact,” Nami scolds him. “Why don’t you ever fucking listen to me?”

Luffy turns around, hand rubbing his nose. “I didn’t know he’d do that.”

Sanji just stands awkwardly leaning against the table. “I’m- I’m Sanji?” It sounds more like a question than an introduction.

“Is that a question?” Zoro asks mockingly, putting his bag right in the centre of the kitchen table.

Sanji scoffs. Something about the green-haired man pisses him off. It may be the nerves that haven’t completely stilled yet.  “No, it’s not. And we’re going to eat dinner in five minutes, so please take that off.”

Zoro turns his attention to Brook. “Is he always like that?”

Brook just nods, “Pretty much.”

“Can we eat any sooner?” Luffy comes in between the two.

Sanji takes a moment to really take Zoro and Luffy in. They did not prepare him for this.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

Ignoring the rocky introduction, the remainder of the evening went quite well. 

Zoro and Luffy love the dinner Sanji prepared. It takes both Nami and Usopp to make sure Luffy doesn’t try to hug Sanji again as a thank-you. He had prepared drinks as well, expecting the friends to stay up late. He made various cocktails for everyone but Zoro. For Zoro, he got his favourite brand of sake. 

Sanji learns more about everyone. It’s not the first time he’s seen Usopp or Brook tipsy, but it’s definitely the first time they’re this talkative. Whether it’s because they’re happy about their friend group being whole again or becoming more comfortable around Sanji, he’s not sure. 

All-in-all, it was a successful day. 

Sanji decides to go to bed first, wanting to give the friend group some time to catch up among themselves without him intruding. Not that they make him feel left out, the contrary: no one treats him any differently. Even Luffy acts like they’ve known each other for 3 years instead of 3 hours. The only exception is Zoro. He barely looks at Sanji and doesn’t try to string up a conversation, but Sanji doesn’t blame him. There are more important matters for him to focus on right now, like making sure Usopp doesn’t throw up all over the couch.

Sanji goes to bed content. He’s been stressing so much about today, now that it’s finally over, he realises all the nerves weren’t necessary. 

Robin was right. Maybe he can be happy here. 

Chapter 1 ☆ Chapter 2 ☆ Chapter 3 ☆ Chapter 4 ☆ Chapter 5 ☆ Chapter 6

[augustheart]

can you rate comic hawkperson wings. or just the golden age ones that look like a trashbag taped to their back

i can, however because i am not a hawks expert and there are so many different artists i will be ranking an assortment of the ones that are on the dc wiki page's gallery. please forgive me if i mix up some carters and katars and so on. i am also not including the mechanical wings of shayera thal and rebirth kendra saunders, this is for feathered wings only.

very, extremely long post under the cut.

this carter's wings are a solid 7/10. off to a good start. there's clear delineation between the primaries and secondaries and the primary and secondary coverts. the size of them is a plus because they're so big they don't fit in the image. i like how low down they go on his back.

this carter's wings are a 2/10. you can't just make a shape. that's not what wings look like. why are all the feathers the same length. why are they attached with such small points of contact. why is there no humerus. what is going on.

this carter's wings are a 6/10. i don't understand how they're attached to his body and this is another Missing Humerus Incident but i like the way they curve and there's some properly differently-lengthed feathers going on. bonus for dawnstar's in the back also looking pretty off.

this carter's (?) wings are a 1/10. what the fuck is going on. i know you guys had birds in the golden age. go outside and look at them. to make no mention of his ass?? what is Fucking happening

this carter and kendra's wing set is a 3/10. we've got a combo here. i've always really disliked this cover because of the wings. carter's aren't too bad? we have the barest suggestion of a humerus and they're decently long. but they're way too thin and crescent-shaped. kendra's are abysmal. or should i say kendra's single wing is abysmal because i don't know what happened to her other one. why is it so thin! is that feather on top supposed to be the alula? what is happening?

this carter and kendra's wing set is a 9/10. alex ross, while i don't care for his interiors much, is a very technically Good artist and he obviously knows what wings look like. these ones actually have humeri and look fully feathered with different feather lengths. the size of them is also great.

this carter's (?) wings are a 1/10. I Know You Had Birds In The Golden Age. Go Outside And Look At Them x2

this carter's wings are a 1/10. they are going to make me the joker. where the BONES. what is happening with the feathers. why are they so small and skinny. kendra's one visible wing is really bad too but carter's are atrocious. do not pass go.

this katar's wings are a 1/10. liefeld appears to have invented several new bones to go in wings that make them bumpy and ropey and has decided that feathers can be accurately represented with haphazard squiggles. nothing here is right.

this katar's wings are a 7/10. i think we're doing well here! the feathers don't have much detail but that's alright and it's enough that we can see the primaries are long and trailing. we have a humerus and i love the way they're tented over his head. it reminds me of a juvenile hawk trying to look bigger.

this sheira's wings are a 8/10. i like them! another Case Of The Missing Humerous (there appears to have been an attempt made at one way too close to the bend of the wrist) but the feathers are fairly accurate and i appreciate the way they bend. i think the more dynamic wing pose helps sell this as a better looking wing.

this shayera's wings are a 4/10. they're suffering from the same stiffness that would later be applied to dcau shayera's due to the limitations of the style, but i do like the sleek look. we have a very floppy radius and ulna though.

this kendra's wings are a solid 4/10. i love the feathers, i love the subtle color differences between the coverts and the primaries and secondaries, but the bones are just a suggestion. i do think the dynamic pose hides some of the bonelessness though.

this kendra's wings are a 1/10. they are actually going to make me lose my mind. that's not how perspective works. what is going on here.

this kendra's wings are a 3/10. we are once again suffering from "feathers that are all the same length" syndrome, and they're super floppy. this is where they get the boneless chicken wings at wingstop from.

controversial take but this kendra's wings are a 7/10. extremely large, clearly have all the right bones, i even see an alula. i like that it looks like she's mantling on prey in a defensive posture. rare rags morales kendra W.

this kendra's wings are a 2/10. i know these are likely supposed to be her more mechanical ones (which i said i wouldn't do up top) so real world wings rules don't really apply, but What the Fuck is happening at the base of them. it's like the artist realized they fucked up part of the way through and had to scramble to make it look normal and failed. not even the alula can save it.

this kendra's wings are a 6/10. why are they so skinny and then suddenly so wide? who is going to solve the Case Of The Humeri now that the thief has struck again? many questions. however, i do like the layering of the feathers and those nice long primaries. the ingredients are there to make these wings good, they're just a bit off.

bonus:

this kendra's wings are a 9/10! the only thing is their size; they should be much larger. however there's that nice layering i've been repeatedly praising between the primaries and secondaries and their coverts, there does seem to be a humerus in each wing in the other angles we get of it, and they even made her tertials fluffy with chick down. i just don't know where they're supposed to be attached to her back. in most of the panels they're kind of... mysteriously floating behind her. oh well. nothing is perfect.

[mirrorofliterature]

fic author interview

stealing this from @glorious-spoon because it looks fun - essentially a q&a for fanfic writers. tagging @elisedonut, @broomsticks, @felixantares, @certifiedbisexualdisaster and whoever else feels like doing it!

How many works do you have on AO3?

75.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

254,450 words.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Mostly my Percy stuff with my most popular shadowhunters work thrown into the mix.

a study of cracked gold (1662)

everything not black and blue (1311)

whispers got nothing on the truth (1058)

why do i care at all (495)

falling from dusk into dawn (408)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Ideally, I would love to respond to comments, but practically I don't because they pile up, I get busy and stressed. It's often a choice between replying and writing - I normally chose writing. But I do read and appreciate all my (non-rude) comments.

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

the storm howls, and everything turns to ashes is absolutely brutal malec MCD I wrote for Shadowhunters Ficlet Instruments in 2019.

On par with this is:

Imelda finding her husband's dead body: if i fall

Magnus forgetting Alec: i miss all the times we had

All the Blacks dying: dreaming of a happy ending

Writing stories with tragic endings is fun!

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

A lot of my fics sit in the grey area of happy endings but not like, butterflies and rainbow. It's hard to say.

If pushed, I would say i just want to be wanted. It's a relatively light pining get-together malec fic at ~3.7k that ends with them getting together. I say it's my happiest because it has a clean, tidy resolution, without lingering existential angst.

7. Do you write a cross-overs?

I have written cross-overs. I have day-dreamt about cross-overs. I have not yet published any.

Mishmashing different fandoms is really fun. The Old Guard x Shadowhunters fic with Magnus running into the immortals in 17th century England and saving Quynh with his magical skills... I love the idea. Be great to write at someday.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not outright death-threats or the like, but I've had weird, entitled comments.

The most akin to a hate comment was someone disliking my fic because I made a disparaging comment about 1984 in it. That was weird.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Just not my thing.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12. Have you co-written a fic before?

Also no.

13. What's your all time favourite ship?

I do not have one, overall. The perils of having multiple fandoms.

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but think you never will?

My malec wwii AU. It's 42k and contains some really good writining, but it would take so much effort to make it publishable.

Also, that is the angstiest ending I've ever written. I wrote a lot just for that ending.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I am very good at generating ideas and writing introspection, particularly of the existential nature. This helps a lot when writing character studies!

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. And long plotty stuff. Fuck dialogue, it always feels so... stilted and awkward.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

If it is small phrases like si, senora, ciao, that's fine. I write a little Spanish in my Coco fic, following the style of the movie. But I'm not going to go into full blown sentences - the characters in my Coco fics are definitely speaking Spanish, but my grasp of Spanish is not good enough + it's generally confusing for most readers.

18. What's the first fandom you wrote for?

Published? Harry Potter in 2017, buried at the back of my AO3 page. Written? Total Drama. It exists, somewhere.

19. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

The Old Guard! Feels like a fun sandbox to explore and I think the fandom is cool (all the drama had boiled off before I watched the movie last year).

20. What's your favourite fic that you've written?

falling from dusk into dawn because it's my longest published fic, it was a labour of love, and I'm really proud of its construction.

[tokyoflavor]

9 People You'd Like To Know More

I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this for the hell of it bc why not, trying to be more active here lmao.

Last song: I guess you could say it was something from the Love You Forever OST?? Since I been watching that religiously

Currently Watching:

This is stuff I’m actively watching, since there’s stuff I picked up and then just forgot about it lol

Lost You Forever (ep 37): I’m a little bit addicted to this show, maybe I just like suffering lmao. Also, missing out on Tan Jianci’s performance as XL/FFB would be a crime because he’s INCREDIBLE. [9/10]

The Princess & The Werewolf (ep 21): I’m not sure how I really got this far haha, I’m really only here for the ml and the second lead couple, everything else is redundant… [6/10]

Love & Redemption: Picking this back up after putting it on hold like 2 years ago, because I’m already missing Cheng Yi after his fantastic performance in MLC. 

Miraculous Brothers (ep 14): A good mystery thriller, with a small dashing of bromance. What’s not to like I guess? [7.5/10]

My Lovely Liar (ep 4): This is a brainless watch haha, I honestly don’t know how long I’ll watch it but for now it’s entertaining enough. [7/10]

Tenshoku no Maou-sama (ep 2): it has a cat.

Manatsu no Cinderella (ep 5): mmm.. i’m on the fence with this. not liking, not disliking, it’s just. there. [5.5/10]

Trillion Game (ep 3): It’s fun, I guess? I’m not caught up, so I’ve no idea what I’ll make of the next two eps, but I like Meguro Ren’s role enough to continue for now. [7/10]

Host Sozuku Shichaimashita: I’m enjoying this one more than most of the jdramas rn lol. but then I’ve only seen 2 eps so it’s hard to really judge how I’ll feel in an ep or two.

Currently Reading: Akatsuki no Yona (manga) ♡ and The Serpent and the Wings of the Night by Carissa Broadbent (I’m not entirely sold on it but I’ve only read 100 pages. I started it bc of the promise of vampires and a potentially hot love interest and I won’t deny this is probably bc of my recent infatuation with Xiang Liu from LYF lmao.

Current Obsession: I guess I’d have to admit that my crush on Tan Jianci has hit a new level LMAO. I’ve been repeatedly saving new pics, looking for gifs, watching his vids/performances. Other than that, I was recently obsessed with Mysterious Lotus Casebook, and DEVOURED it. within a short time frame too lmao.

I guess it doesn’t matter who does (or doesn’t) do it but I’ll tag a few people anyways for fun: @annestofanne, @isawing @limowlee7389 @lostinadrama @clubfluffer @dangermousie @niaoniaos @satinvenus

[loverliner]

UNPOPULAR OPINIONS ABOUT TAYLOR AND HER SONGS?? i'm just the person for you.

1. i think i don't wanna live forever is one of taylor's best songs.

2. london boy, i think he knows and afterglow just might be the best tracks on lover.

3. safe and sound is one of taylor's best songs, if not her best (this is me being swayed just bc safe and sound tv was released last week)

4. tolerate it is the best track five.

5. 22 is better than dear reader

6. getaway car and karma sound almost the same

7. i forgot that you existed is an AMAZING opener for lover

8. question...? >> maroon (still LOVE maroon i just think question..? is better)

9. fearless is a good album, but not one of her best

10. the best song on rep is either call it what you want, so it goes... or endgame

ty for listening <33

ik these are controversial

nova ily omg this is great.

okay let me put my comments <3

please don’t murder me or nova (if you hurt her in any way i will track you down) this is just our opinion blah blah we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings

i really love this song <3

“Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life” is such an amazing line.

2. those along with “cruel summer” & “miss americana and the heartbreak prince” or “the archer” (i really just love lover as an album, despite all the depressing songs it makes me so happy and it makes me belive in love again <3 esp after crying to RED (tv) or evermore)

3. safe & sound was one of the first taylor swift songs i learnt on the guitar and i absolutely adore it, while i don’t think it’s necessarily her best song, i think it’s definitely a contender

4. i think tolerate it is definitely her best track 5 (writing and instrumental wise, it was written so so well) but also All Too Well is so so iconic.

i could write nine-page analysis on just the bridge because it is simply the most amazing thing ever.

i think my personal favourite track 5’s are “my tears ricochet” only ‘cause i’m attached to it (long story) and “you’re on your own, kid” because i can relate to it :(

5. i think they’re equal for me, they’re both not my favourites on their respective albums (i’m sorry to anyone screaming at this) but i think on their own they’re pretty good songs.

i think impact-wise, 22 is a more iconic than dear reader for sure.

6. i just spent the last two minutes with my best friend singing both of them to see if they match up, and i see your point.

i personally think getaway car is better than karma though, i don’t dislike karma but getaway car is just so so good.

7. i completely agree, it really sets the tone for lover.

8. i really love both and i really don’t get the slander on question…? because it’s just so good (esp the iconic cheering sounds)

9. i’m sorry but fearless (tv) might be at the bottom 3 taylor swift albums, it’s not that i overly-dislike it, it’s just not my favourite

10. i really love call it what you want and i think it’s so underrated, i think some of the best songs on reputation might be getaway car (i’m biased ‘cause i really just love that song) and new year’s day maybe?

we need to do this again, this was so so fun.

if you guys don’t hear from me again, i was probably murdered by a swiftie.

[clumsyclifford]

questions for fic writers

a collection of questions i, as a writer, would love to be asked !!!

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

6. What's one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn't get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

7. Any worldbuilding you're particularly proud of?

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

9. How do you find new fic to read?

10. How do you decide what to write?

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don't anymore?

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

15. What's your favorite AU that you've written?

16. What's an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

18. If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve?

20. If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be?

22. Who is your favorite character in [insert fic] and why?

23. What's a trope, AU, or concept you've never written, but would like to?

24. Are there any easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they?

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

27. How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process.

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who?

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want!

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

31. What's your ideal fic length to write?

32. What's your ideal fic length to read?

33. If you write chaptered fics, what's your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read?

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life?

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who?

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

41. Link a fic that made you think, "Wow, I want to write like that."

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

43. If you take/write prompts: what's your favorite prompt fic that you've written?

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts?

45. What's something you've improved on since you started writing fic?

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?

47. If [insert fic] was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes.

48. What's the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

[fondwitch]

I started the book Where the Crawdads Sing last night. I expected to maybe read a couple pages and then fall asleep (I was really tired) because a physical book has not kept my attention in a really long time. HOWEVER, my stupid ass ended up staying up until 3:30am to finish the book and I had to wake up at 7:30am 😩

It was absolutely wonderful. I loved her relationship with the marsh. Although heartbreaking, I loved her isolation and loneliness because the book really made you feeeel it. The poetry sprinkled in was emotional too. I cried several times through reading (but it was a good cry).

I just finished the movie tonight and I was NOT impressed.

1) maybe it needed to be done but I don’t like that everyone was aged up. Half the sweetness of the book was following as Kya grew up as a little girl and through the tender ages of preteen and teen

2) I know they wouldn’t have had time but there had to have been some way they could have shown a greater connection between Kya and the marsh. It was just so sorely missed in the movie

3) I didn’t fully dislike her relationship with Tate in the movie, but I didn’t appreciate it feeling as rushed as it was, the exchange of feathers and other tokens on the stump felt so cheap in the movie compared to the book

4) her loneliness, again, one of the painful but necessary parts of the book just never really came through for me. I remember in the book, I wasn’t even mad when she agreed to the picnic with Chase bc I was drenched in her loneliness, but the movie was just UGH. There was nothing! It felt like no time at all between her romance with Tate and then her choosing to go on the date with Chase

5) this might seem odd, but I didn’t like how clean and nice everything looked (her clothes, the shack etc) maybe I read things wrong but I pictured everything so much more dirty and worn and soiled in the book so I had a hard time matching what I was watching to what I was imagining while reading

6) I’m not necessarily mad at their choice to go straight to Kya being on trial at the beginning, it maybe works to pull some people in more as a movie, but as a personal choice I preferred the book having the first 1/2 to 2/3 being about her childhood and young adulthood before they ever catch up to the current storyline of her getting arrested

7) THEY DIDN’T INTEGRATE THE POETRY

[spiced-wine-fic]

Questions for Fic Writers 

Dear @minquelie you are so kind to ask me questions, 🤗

I’m posting this separately because I want to add some links and don’t want to clutter up the chain.

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

9. How do you find new fic to read?

10. How do you decide what to write?

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

18. If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve?

20. If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be?

22. Who is your favorite character in [insert fic] and why?

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

24. Are there any easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they?

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

27. How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process.

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who?

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want!

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?   

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write?

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read?

33. If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read?

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life?

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who?

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts?

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?

47. If [insert fic] was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes.

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

_________________________________________________________

7, Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

Have I done any, really? I think worldbuilding (in pretty much any book or film) is always built on some geography, peoples, and/or culture that we already know about and we simply transfer it to a fic or published novel). World-borrowing might be more apt. 

Sud Sicanna is a trade center, a ‘hub’ city that links the north, south, east and west of the Harad. Its citizens are from all over, not only Haradhrim but from Khand and Chey Sart and Palisor. 

Tanith (in Dark Lands) in the very far south of the Harad, was settled originally by Númenoreans (The instane ruler makes a big thing of having Númenorean blood). I based Tanith and its Death Games on ancient Rome. 

Khand is (in my ‘verse) a hot, windy land, almost a plateau, with its settlements mainly in the rich river valleys and fortress cities, perhaps Moroccan in style or Yemenese.  The Variags consider themselves Mairon’s ‘chosen’, his warrior elite. I loved writing about them in A Far, Fierce, Sky. They’re just people with their own history and culture, and an offshoot of the Cathaians. Several of Vanimöré’s Khadakhir are Variags.

The great slave farms of Núrnen are directly from the LOTR (book) where they’re mentioned. Sauron decided to breed warriors there and they appear in Magnificat of the Damned Book III and IV. The orcs were just canon fodder really, but in the War of the Ring, Sauron never had a chance to release his Mannish armies before the Ring was destroyed.

Tashon Narr in the far East is a city dedicated to Sauron and sacrifice and is imagined almost to be a city-labyrinth in style. 

Cathai of course is a kind of ancient China, though I haven't yet written much about it. 

There are places on the map I also borrowed from MERP then added names and kingdoms to, that remain unexplored: The Kingdom of the Cloud Forests, The Slave Coast, The Shards of the Sun, The Lands of the Broken Moon (These latter two are supposed to be what remained after the destruction of Iluin and Ormal, scattered island chains) and the Stormshadow Mountain Kingdoms. (Map below)

15, What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

Well, they are all the same AU, really. The Dark Prince and Magnificat ‘verse are in the same ‘world’ just with different focuses and settings. After the end of Magnificat IV we are into multiverse territory because of the Portals and the Mirror of Worlds, but they come from the same ‘root.’ 

23, What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

I don’t know. I think I have written (or am writing) everything I want to :) 

29, What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want!

I tend to go for epic music.

Invictus by Marcello de Francisci (This one is my overall favourite for the whole AU).  (YouTube link below)

Invincible by Two Steps From Hell 

Lux Aeterna by Clint Mancell (Requiem For A Dream).

Emergence of Empire by Immediate Music.

Sahara, by Nightwish, which was suggested to me by Pandemonium_213 years ago.

Rada, Thomas Bergersen, 

Archangel, Two Steps from Hell. 

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Wednesday 14 November 1832

6 ¾

11 ¾

F48° at 7am Damp soft morning – looking over accounts - breakfast with my father at 8 ½ - off at 9 ½ to Lidgate there in 24 minutes - from 10 10 in 1 ½ hour walked with Miss W- along the new road to Stump Cross Inn and back not much less than 4 miles, and she really bore it so well, it only shewed what she might do with a little regular exertion - at 12 ¾ Mr and Mrs William Henry Rawson called and sat 1/4 hour - said they had been at Shibden - Miss Parkhill returned from Cliff Hill just in time to dress for dinner at 2 - sat down to table with them and ate a little - afterwards staid till 3 55 and then off home by my walk - sometime in the moss house and came in at 5 -  we talked of Mr A-    I said she was not fit to be left to herself which she admitted    gradually told her she really must make up her mind to let me decide in all the things for her    yes she said she would do as I liked    I then should see what was best   she was to remember I had pledged myself to nothing  was at liberty and unpledged to any decision my present idea was not to leave her    she must really consider herself no longer at her own option but must really do as I wished    to which she fully consented     all this reiterated after our walk as we sat on the sofa     she said she knew now she had suffered very much    some times last summer she could scarcely walk       I asked if he had ever touched her    yes and it appears repeatedly    and had told her that she would have suffered less from the real thing  it would have been much easier!     what a fellow!     after dinner came the post bag  I opened it gave her the letter from her late cook and closed the bag as if there was nothing more    then pretending to want the post bag as a pattern took it off with me  she came with me to the door   took her into the dining [room] and told her of the letter from Mr Ainsworth to me - Letter from Mr A- (Manchester) 1 ¾ pages - read it    a rigmarole of humiliation and confession to me hoping for my pity and that I would not expose him and begging my permission to send Miss W- a box that his wife would have left her had she lived to add a codicil to her will    excusing his first letter to Miss W- as being written under the effects of opium    just told Miss W-  these heads and what sort of answer I meant to send    saying the matter was out of her hands and she must do as I wished she being no longer a free agent she does not seem to dislike hearing of this tie smiled and seemed satisfied and in half hour I left her  what does Miss Parkhill think of us?    she must see that my influence is paramount – home at 5 – wrote the following   dated Lightcliffe Today      sir I have just received your letter of yesterday and am sorry that considering all the circumstances of the case I cannot consent to your sending the box you mention    I very earnestly hope that you will have the propriety and the necessity of abstaining from any further communication with my friend or myself as the best and only means of preventing that exposure which it is so desirable to avoid  to a gentleman and a clergyman I trust it is unnecessary to add more I am sir your obedient servant A Lister – dinner at 6 – just before and afterwards till 9 10 wrote the above of today and had a long nap – then went into the other room read tonights’ courier, and staid talking to my aunt till 10 55 at which hour came upstairs – fine November day – soft and mild and damp but a little sunshine in the morning – F49° at 11pm - wrote and sent off about 7 letter 1 page to the ‘reverend Thomas Ainsworth at Miss Bentley’s 1 Crescent Salford Manchester’  she neither deserves nor understands what I am doing for her

[rayshippouuchiha]

Hi! So I noticed you have more than a few people here who are getting into Naruto, and wanted to give my top 3 fic recs. Unfortionatly I couldn’t narrow it down that much so, here are (in no particular order) my 9 faves! (3x3 keeps it sort of a top 3?)

1. Nine-Tailed Foxes are Dead – Rowlettlesbian

Summary; For Konoha, it's been one month since the preliminary Chunin exams. For Naruto, it's been six. And he wasn't in Konoha.

At the end of his ordeal, Naruto walks into the Chunin Exam finals without his left arm.

Shikamaru is very concerned. And, eventually, very precious to Naruto as they work together to solve the mysteries of Konoha and bring kindness to the Shinobi world, one adventure at a time.

Comment; You know one of those fics that makes you sit up and go WHOA! This. This is it.

2. Soft as an Unready Mind –  BC_Brynn

Summary; Inoichi’s decision to adopt the boy was a spur of the moment thing, but he stood by it, and he could not be prouder of both his children, even if they lived to give him grey hair.

Comment; Funny and feels in equal amounts.

3. Clouded Mind and Heavy Heart –  dawnstruck

Summary; You reap what you sow. Sasuke plants seeds of doubt. Instead of fighting in the Valley of the End, Sasuke convices Naruto to join him.

Comment; Series. Pretty dark, the mindfuck tag is there for a reason.

4. Wolf and cub (Or how small children became the new must have missing nin accessory) –  Dissenter

Summary; A slightly unhinged Kakashi finds two year old Naruto being beaten up, and decides the best course of action is to kidnap him and go on the run. Hilarity ensues. Other ninjas follow Kakashi's example. Zabuza has no idea how he ended up giving all these Konoha ninja parenting classes.

Comment; Incredibly funny. The chaos is abundant as Kakashi give Naruto the childhood he truly deserves.

5. Hiding in the Leaves –  aventria, iluxia

Summary; Fighting a bitter battle against forces within the village that are more influential and well-positioned, Orochimaru finds himself gifted with one last shining opportunity: three children, a team of genin, handed to him because Konoha has no better choice. He agrees to become a jounin-sensei for the first and the last time, taking on the next generation's Team Seven: Uchiha Sasuke, Nara Shikamaru, and Uzumaki Naruto.

Comment; Author has a tendency towards using Japanese words, especially in earlier chapters. I don’t mind too much but I know there are some who dislike it.

6. Flip the Coin – Inrainbowz

Summary; "When you think about it, Sasuke, we could be standing in each other's place right now" Naruto grows up shunned, hated, without support and full of rage. Sasuke grows up determined to step out of his brother's shadow and be recognized for his own merits.

In which Naruto is the one who runs and Sasuke does the chasing.

Comment; First part of an ongoing series. Great for if you want to cry for a while.

7. A political perspective –  MueraRashaye

Summary; Hatake Kakashi was a shinobi, and as a shinobi, the only people who could give him orders were his military superiors. The idea that a Council made up of civilians and peers was under the impression they could give him orders...displeased him. Or: He was ordered to pass Team 7. He was fine with that, until they actually passed.

Comment; The real problem with this fic is that it was last updated in 2018.

8. Ear to the Wall –  Vodkassassin

Summary; The Minato-sensei beams at him, and replies, “Kakashi! I’m glad you’re awake,” and, yup, that’s Minato-sensei’s voice. Kakashi falls back down against the bed, closing his eyes. It’s too short of a way down, and he clenches hands that are too tiny and feeble and not his in dog-print sheets he hasn’t owned for decades.

Comment; Aka the best redeemed Orochimaru you have ever seen and a Kakashi who really needs a hug.

9. Nukenin –  WhisperingDarkness

Summary; In the sealed scroll he finds a Bingo Book – his own page marking him as an S-class nukenin with flee-on-sight orders. “Ok. That is definitely different.” In his head he blames Naruto – even if his number one unpredictable student had been nowhere near him on this mission. When things go this stupidly impossibly wrong it must somehow be the future Hokage’s fault.

Comment; The one thing really wrong with this is that its only 4 chapters long.

excellent recs!

[tinyboxxtink]

“The Man Of Your Dreams”

Y’all. Y’ALL. 

I was gonna make this a series but then I was like “Aw nah I can wrap it up neatly in one go”.

And that “one go” took 3 and 1/2 hours and 10 pages!!!!!!!! (on GoogleDocs anyway...) 

I went with my “keep dreaming about a man and then you go off to find him” idea.

The dating app one might be for a longer series, idk yet.

But this, this is my baby.

Like I said, I had this dream. Specifically the first and last scene. And ya’ll while I wrote the crescendo, I played Tyler Blackburn’s “Can’t Love Me.” Specifically starting at 2:11. I highly recommend playing it as you read from:

“Until out of nowhere--“Y/N???””

But that’s just me. I replayed that scene with the music about a thousand times in my head, I won’t lie to you.

I hope you love this as much as I do!!

Tag List

@wanniiieeee

@dumauier

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@chasingeverybreakingwave

------

“Oh no it’s happening again.”

“What?! No not now,”

“Yeah I feel it, the pulling,”

“Dammit! No no no…” He grabbed you on both of your sides and pulled you into his chest as tightly as he could, but you knew it wouldn’t help; You were fading, and the last words you hear were:

“I will find you!!” 

----------------

Suddenly, you woke up in your bed in a cold sweat. 

“Dammit...not again,” You shook your head. “No, no no no NO!!!!” You let yourself have a moment of breakdown, before immediately grabbing the pencil and giant pad of paper from under your bed. You had to get it down before it faded, again. The face, HIS face. You furiously filled in the lines on his face you had missed before, and you finally got the dimples on his mouth right. However, it was the eyes that drove you most insane.

Half filled in while the rest of his face was taking shape, his eyes were the one thing you could never quite get. Not that you hadn’t seen them enough, you had been having dreams about this man for over a month straight now. Every night, the same man. But it didn’t feel like dreaming, not in the slightest. It felt very much like being awake in this world, everything was so real.

He was so real.

And so, after a week of these “episodes”, you decided to yourself that this couldn’t be a coincidence, that it was NOT a mix of your subconscious making up scenarios in your head, it was real. This man existed somewhere, and you were going to find him. 

However the question of “How” was still very annoyingly present. Sure you and this man had talked about everything, seriously EVERYTHING. Likes, dislikes, career, life stories--- well, at least you were pretty sure you had.

 Some conversations in your dream world were completely crystal clear in your mind-- 

When he was six and all he wanted was a red bike, and come Christmas morning it wasn’t there. He had stormed around his mom’s apartment having a total temper tantrum until his abuelita asked him to check if she had left her keys out in the hall from last minute shopping. He opened the door to reveal a brand new, shiny red 10 speed bike propped against their doorway.

“We lived on the 10th floor, with no elevator. My mom and abuelita carried that thing up 10 flights of stairs just so I’d have a happy Christmas morning,” He had told you with tears in his eyes.

And then others, containing any real information about where to find him, were a blur. Specific details like his name, his job, even where he currently lived-- they sounded like garbled nonsense when you tried to recall them.

The Universe is a sadistic bastard.

But that conversation about the bike-- it was so specific and so detailed that there was no way your mind could have made it up. No way. But all you knew was that at some point in his childhood he lived with his mom and abuela in a 10th story apartment somewhere in New York City. That’s it. 

And one more thing that you couldn’t shake-- his touch. 

There had been a dream where he had asked to kiss you, to which you happily agreed. He had pulled you close into his arms, his hands ran through your hair as he pressed his lips against yours. And every dream since then, you two were always either holding hands or holding each other, or touching in any capacity-- as if you were both trying to memorize what it felt like.

Of course this still being “a dream”, a lot of the times your “dates” with this man were just playing out themselves, and you were blissfully unaware that they were even dreams. So you’d never think of asking “real” questions like where to meet or something. Only those few moments before you would wake would you realize “Oh that’s right, this isn’t real.” And by then it was too late.

But today was the day. You were sure of it. You had finally finished your drawing of your “dream man”, apart from the filled in eyes. Only an eyeline shaped hole rested in the middle of his perfect face. 

“Okay, that is just horrifying” You heard your roommate’s voice behind you.

“What? It’s perfect, Shi!” You defended your drawing. 

Sure you had hesitated telling your best friend of 10 years about your “situation”, but once you decided that you were going to find him, you knew you’d need her help. And so, after a very long conversation over a LOT of drinks, you had convinced her to help you. Well, reluctantly help you. 

“Well it’ll be no problem trying to find a guy with NO EYES,” She giggled.

“Shut up, I just...I can’t get them right,” 

“Can’t get them right? Girl have you or have you not told me that you have studied that man’s face EVERY night for the past 6 weeks?” 

“Yeah but….they’re so...perfect,” You sighed-- the gaping eye hole was mocking you. It was like the Universe saying “Good luck finding him without THESE!!!!” 

But you knew, you just knew in your heart of hearts that if you saw his eyes in real life, you’d know. You’d know instantly. You had this-- look, between you. The way he looked at you, the love and passion in his beautiful green eyes.

You couldn’t draw that on paper.

“Well just how do you expect us to make a “missed connection” flier with a demon looking guy like that?” 

“Look Shiloh, it’s a start ok?” 

“It’s not! You need those eyes, eyes are the most distinguishing trait on a person’s face!” She shook the paper at you.

“I know that!!!” you scoffed.

“Alright well...just, try again tonight yeah?” She put a hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah alright,”

----

The next night you did all the nightly rituals you had read and researched up on how to “lucid dream”. Eating certain foods, meditating before bed, repeating mantras as you fell asleep-- sometimes they helped you take control of the dreams, sometimes not.

But this has never happened.

-----------

You were suddenly “awake”, in a park. Wait, this wasn’t just some generic “Dream” park. You knew this park. You immediately started scanning the sights around you-- kids playing and running around, people talking on a fountain-- The fountain. You knew that fountain. Your eyes darted quicker around the scenic picture for a statute, and there it was.

This was Central Park. And not just Central Park, a very specific part of Central Park that you passed most days on your way to work. Could this just be the “coincidence” normal dream stuff seeping in? Just images of your day being played out in your REM cycle? I mean he wasn’t even--

“Dream girl,” His voice came from behind you. 

You spun to face the fountain and saw him in an off white cream colored suit, with a pink tie. His hair was in a coif, and for the first time maybe ever, you noticed him carrying a briefcase. 

“Hey you,” You smiled, pulling him into a long, deep kiss. 

“So, Central Park today huh? You know you could’ve told me that beforehand I wouldn’t have paid an Uber to drive --- blocks.” You noticed the blurb in his number. Wait, wait this wasn’t happening.

“Wait, what?” You were suddenly “awake” .

“My office? It’s just about ---- blocks that way,” He pointed forward-- South. 

His office was south from Central Park, only a few blocks away. Within walking distance.

“What else?” You grabbed him.

“What else? Baby are you ok…?” He backed up one step in concern.

“Dammit, snap out of it abogado!!!” You snapped at him, leaving you both in shock-- but for two different reasons. 

He was suddenly “awake” in this world too, but you had just called him a name in spanish that you did not know the meaning of.

“Since when do you know spanish?” He asked.

“It’s spanish? QUICK tell me what it means!!!” You shook him.

“Abogado means--” 

-----------

And he was gone. It was gone. You had been pulled suddenly from your dream world, something that had never happened before. It wasn’t even morning yet, the sun was barely peeking out from the skyline. You had never gotten that close to getting details from him, NEVER.

Maybe the Universe was catching on. 

You grabbed your phone from the charger beside you and furiously typed “Abogado” into google translate. And there it was, in black and white:

Lawyer.

This guy was a lawyer, who worked a few blocks south of Central Park. If he was real. You sighed to yourself as you put your phone down and went back to sleep.

-----------------------------

And you were in the park again. 

“Hey, there you are! Where’d you go?” the “abogado” asked you with his dreamy smile. Wait, was he “asleep” again? And why did you pick up here? He knew you were gone? WAS THIS PLACE REAL?

“ABOGADO,” You shouted at him like a crazy person.

“...You don’t know spanish, why do you know-- Oh my god,” The man was suddenly cognizant of everything.

“Baby! Aw, baby girl I’ve missed you..” He pulled you into a kiss. You let him for a second, then pulled away quickly.

“Look, I don’t know what’s happening but this--” You gestured around the park. “This is near where I live. In reality,” 

His eyes widened as he recognized where you were. “This is a few blocks from my office-- in reality,” 

“Really? Really.” You were becoming frantic.

“I mean, if this is at all real, and you’re real--” He began looking around the park.

“I’M real, are YOU real?” You couldn’t believe he was questioning YOUR existence.

“I think the fact that we’re both questioning each other’s existence, might be either brain death or some kind of reality where we both do indeed exist,” He smirked.

“God you’re smart, why did I not know this before?”

“...I don’t know, we don’t really get into details usually, do we?” 

“No but now-- oh my god, NOW,” You grabbed him again excitedly.

“Now what? Oh, I love that guy’s suit…” He peered over your shoulder.

“Rafael will you FOCUS?” You both stopped and stared at each other as soon as the name left your lips.

“...I-I’m sorry, what?” He was turning pale

“Rafael...w-why did I just call you Rafael?”

“....Rafael’s my name,” He stared at you in disbelief. He actually looked shocked that you knew his name. 

“Y/N,” He finally spoke.

“Y/N is my name!!!!” You squealed. “This is happening, this is happening Rafael!!!!” You grabbed him in a hug but he still stood there in a daze.

“Oh god are you fading?” 

“N-No, I just...you have a name,” 

“...I..yeah?” You scrunch your nose. “Did...do...do you not think I’m real?” 

“No!” He shook his head. “I mean I do think you’re real, I just...this...this hasn’t happened before,” He stroked your cheek with his thumb, staring at it while he did it. Like he was memorizing the feeling of his skin on yours.

“I know, this is the most detailed “episode” we’ve ever had,” You pressed his hand harder against your cheek, memorizing the feeling of his hands over yours. 

“Tomorrow,” He stopped stroking your face and looked at you very seriously. 

“What?” 

“I-I feel it, I’m waking up-- damn early court time,” He grumbled. “But tomorrow-- er, today,” He grabbed both of your hands and squeezed them as hard as he could.

“If we are both real, we’ll meet here at this exact spot at 3:30 today, yeah?” You could see his body slowly disintegrating in front of you like Peter Parker at the end of Infinity War.

All you could do was nod as you felt yourself waking up, but you gave everything you had to grab him in one last kiss….

-------------

BEEP BEEP BEEEP!!!!!!

Your alarm was yelling at you, but you were already wide awake. Today was the day. Today at 3:30, in Central Park, you were going to meet your dream man.

If he was real. 

-------

The minutes passed by like hours, he would pick the day you have off so you could just sit there and stare at your phone obsessively all day. Of course after you had taken at least 2 hours to make sure you looked absolutely perfect for your man. 

You wanted to look like his dream girl. 

Finally, it was 3:20. Shiloh had come home early to walk with you to the park, there was no way she was missing this. You wanted enough time to make sure you’d be there exactly at 3:30, not a minute after. You held hands with Shi as you entered the park’s gates and just a few yards away was the fountain area you had been in last night. 

“So...this is it,” Shiloh dropped your hands.

“I know....What time is it?” You shuddered with excitement.

“3:29-- you know maybe he’s not a stickler for time like you and needs to be obsessively early everywhere babe,” 

“He’s a lawyer, they’re usually pretty punctual,” You raised an eyebrow. “Plus, if he’s as excited as I am he will be here on time,” You were bouncing on your heels like a little girl.

“Well, it’s 3:30 now…” You both began to look around the area. You had brought the drawing so Shiloh had an idea of who she was looking for, although she still deemed it impossible without his eyes.

“Y’know he said he had court today, maybe it’s further away from here,” You spoke out loud, still scanning every inch of the park. You didn’t know who you were trying to convince more, Shiloh or yourself.

Every second that passed by, your heart broke into teenier tinier pieces. You felt sick to your stomach, you were shaking-- you needed to sit. 

Shiloh came and joined you on the side of the fountain and held you in her arms as the park suddenly began filling very quickly. There was some sort of event happening soon, and people were getting “good seats”.

“Wh-What? No, no you guys can’t be here!” You frantically began circling people. “How is he supposed to find me if you’re all surrounding this damn fountain? HOW?!”

“Y/N….Honey, chill…” Shiloh tried to pull you away, but you jumped onto the fountain to get away from her as the area continued to fill with people, even police began to survey the area-- they stared at you, whispering things into their walkies. They were going to ask you to get down. They were going to ask you to leave. They were going to make you lose your chance forever--- and you couldn’t have that.

“RAFAEL!!!!!!” You started screaming into the crowd. Several members of the crowd began turning and staring at you as you repeated the name over and over again, walking around on top of the fountain as you did. 

“Are you nuts you’re going to get us arrested!!”  Shiloh hissed, pulling on your arm.

“I don’t care--- RAFAEL!!!!!” You knocked her hand away and started screaming again.

“Ma’am, you’re going to need to come with us,” A Park Ranger started for your hand but you evaded it as you continued circling and screaming like an insane person.

“NO!!! I CAN’T!!!!! HE’LL BE HERE!!!! RAFAEL!!!!!!”

-------

“I mean, are you SURE it was this end of the park, Rafa?” Olivia Benson circled the same spot her and Rafael had been walking around for several minutes now. 

“Yeah, I’m sure! There was a statue--”

“There are a LOT of statues in here, Rafa. Did you see anything else in this ‘dream’?” 

“Look Liv, I appreciate you coming with me even though you don’t believe in this at all, but the snarkiness is not helping,” He folded his arms with a scowl.

“I’m sorry, I’ll--” Olivia was cut off mid-sentence by her walkie going off. “Benson.”

“Yeah hi, this is the CP patrol-- We heard you were around here, and I think we’ve got a-- what do you call it, special victim? This girl’s running around crazy yelling for some dude, I think she might be a few circuits short of a circuit board,” 

“Where are you?”

“The South Entrance by Lootney Fountain,” As those words rang out through her walkie, Rafael’s eyes widened. 

“The fountain…” He muttered, beginning to sprint across the park. “I forgot about the fountain!!!!!!”

-------

The CP Patrol had gotten you off the fountain and were trying to calm you down, but you wouldn’t stop yelling Rafael’s name. Until out of nowhere--

“Y/N???”

You’d know that voice anywhere. You jumped out of the cop’s reach and back onto the fountain where you could see over the crowd. Your eyes frantically searched when you saw a man running towards the fountain; from across the park, and then you saw his face.

It was Rafael.

The second you locked eyes, you both just stopped moving entirely. You were pretty sure you had stopped breathing. You could see everything in those big beautiful green eyes you had the hardest time putting down on paper. You saw the same thoughts running through his head as yours:

He was real. You were real.

“Y/N!!!!!!” He finally yelled, making the crowd turn to face him. He disappeared into the sea of people as you jumped down and began tearing through them like mad. 

“RAFAEL!!!!” You screamed, knocking people over left and right. He was sprinting across the lawn, more desperate to get to you than anything in his entire life.

“Y/N!!!!!!” You heard his voice again, and this time it was so much closer. So crisp and clear, just like it was in your dreams-- But this was real. It was really happening. You gave one last push through a group of stragglers to come upon a man huffing and puffing in a cream colored suit, with a pink tie. But he seemed to lose all signs of fatigue as you hurled yourself into his arms-- his real, open arms. He spun you around and kissed you deeper and harder than he ever had in any of your encounters. 

And it was real.

You felt it even more than the most detailed of dreams, his taste, the feel of his touch, his smell. You stood there locked in a kiss for several seconds, while Olivia waved off the coppers and Shiloh had broken through the crowd to see your very real dream man.

Finally, after convincing yourself to pull away from him, you looked into his eyes. His real, green eyes. You stroked his cheek while he kept the tightest grip around your waist, as if you were going to float away if he let up one second. 

“You’re real,” You blinked back tears.

“So are you,” He held back his own tears, stroking yours away from your cheeks. 

“I love you, Rafael,” You whispered, still scared to death you’d wake up at any moment.

“I love you, YN-- my dream girl,” He smiled back, pulling you into another long kiss.

That night you had normal dreams, which you didn’t mind in the slightest; because you slept in the arms of the man of your dreams.

[thoroughlyskeptic]

“We both went to the London premiere but not together. We weren’t engaged and there was no reason to sort of show off to the world." USA Today November 18, 2014.

I'd like the Nannies to express their opinion about this please. With the full understanding that no person or persons on this side of the computer can control, sway or change Ben's mind or heart. That's not the point. The point is to understand what you believe is the psychological reasoning behind the decision to use that phrasing with his pregnant, soon to be fiancé and soon to be wife and soon to be mother of his child. According to People magazine and the Daily Mail, and those, including nannies, who said they have seen a Birth Certificate, Christopher Carlton Cumberbatch was born on June 1st.  Dislike it all you want, having a birthday makes it possible, and given human nature, likely that people will speculate on the date of conception, especially considering the facts, including the timing with regards to the Oscars and the shotgun* nature of the wedding. If it was a full term no problem pregnancy, 40 weeks, not under or over due, she was 2 and a half months pregnant when the above statement was made.

This story you nannies have built up, that Ben and Sophie have a true perfect love forever, that they never fight, how do you reconcile that with the whole unvarnished truth? Unless Sophie was totally gormless, she must have known she was pregnant. If Ben was dating her and truly in love, he would have known she was pregnant. They married three months later. He was in true love with the women he married, the woman he proposed to, whom he didn't mention by her name in interviews, and didn't want to walk down the red carpet to his movie premiere with the woman making his dreams come true, his dreams of being a father.

Now you are going to yell about things like privacy. That what he said was meant to protect Sophie and hide the pregnancy. I think anyone who is at all skeptical could answer that one. No one eager for privacy about their personal life talks to reporters, USA Today, or People magazine at all, let alone does a wedding dress spread in Vogue. I'm surprised it was in the print edition, and not the digital only. After all, maternity bridal gowns aren't really "en vogue". The long and short of it is that photo spread was well positioned and they managed to photograph her to look like she wasn't 5 1/2 months pregnant, perhaps to make that style of gown more in demand. Shotgun weddings tend to favor empire waists and lots of flounce to disguise the bump.

Now, I know the next question from the peanut gallery will be, why bring this up? They have stayed together, have two more kids together and it has been x and whatever years.

Here are several responses. Pick one or more in any combination.

1. Our feelings don't have to be right to be valid.

2. You have the option to object to our perfectly valid emotional reaction.

3. We have a right to block you from our page. You also have this right.

4. If you object to our opinions, you do not have to read our blogs or interact with us in anyway. If you are constantly feeling harassed because you see content from skeptics, BLOCK THEM, don't blame them! If the worker at Sea World handed you a poncho to protect yourself and you didn't use it, you can't blame the Shamu if you get splashed.(Sorry for the outdated and insensitive analogy but I wanted something easy to understand. I disagree whole hearted with the captivity of intelligent creatures be they aquatic or terrestrial mammals.)

5. We are valid in our own right as people. If you attack us on a personal level, we will defend ourselves and we have the right to do so.

6. As long as we do not interact with anyone,(i.e. Ben, Sophie, Karon, his management, etc) we can say whatever we want on our own blogs. The majority of us have never met him and don't want to. As far as we are concerned, Ben is an imaginary person that we are writing as a character for a long running D&D campaign.

7. However, the same does not apply to you. Many of you have gone out of your way to meet him. You believe that by sending hate to skeptics or doxxing them you will earn validation from him. I worry that some of you are on the brink and if he doesn't acknowledge you one time, or does something that you can't justify with your world view, one of you will snap. You think this about us, I know. But the nannies on the whole have much more emotional investment in Ben's personal life. (As a for instance, The skeptics call him Ben because at least one nanny has said that, "we don't know that he prefers that nickname so we should use his full name" another said "nicknames are for close friends and family and we aren't those, so we should call him by his full name or Mr. Cumberbatch." If Ben even has two thoughts about any skeptic or nanny(especially how they address him in blog posts) for the entire year I'd be surprised. Unless, of course, it when he has to think about you lot bothering him, stalking him, and generally making a nuisance of yourselves.

******

I also know you complain that the skeptics don't "love" Ben in every thing he does and don't always watch all his work. The gatekeeping within the fandom, not include how you discount and loathe the skeptics, is extreme. Fans must be all or nothing.

1. Not everyone has the money to participate fully, whether that is buying movies, theater tickets, merchandise or going to conventions to hear him speak. Disregarding fans based on their ability to participate, especially due to financial inability, is gatekeeping and it is the worst kind of gatekeeping. You are saying the only good fans are rich ones.

2. Generally the nannies viewpoint is Eurocentric as well. Some people have jobs, have children to raise, have other things that take priority over "being a fan". Being a fan requires time that poorer countries, less developed countries generally lack. Some countries censor the movies that are shown. Doctor Strange was not shown in the East the way it was in the west and unless you can afford to travel to another location,(Say the London Premiere that didn't quite happen and the nannies were upset because he didn't preform like a good little monkey in a suit for them?) you are made to feel left out by the uber fans.

3. Some people have emotional triggers. Ben's roles tend more towards the dramatic then comedic. Drama can deeply affect those who have experienced similar situations. He has been in movies dealing with Cancer, Childhood Abuse, Incest, Slavery, War, Pedophilia, have I missed any major triggers?

4. He is also in the MCU and the Hobbit movies which have flashing lights which makes them inaccessible to those who have seizures and migraines. Another oft used gatekeeping tactic in fandoms is the restriction of accessibility. In the US, there are compliancy laws for disabilities(although they aren't always obeyed) but smaller, poorer countries may not have accessible movie theaters. Fans with disabilities can not travel as easily as more abled fans. Smaller independent films Benedict made at the beginning of his career may not have captions or audio description or may be unafforable for those that have medical costs to consider.

5. There is also gender bias in the Cumberbatch fandom. One need only look at their chosen name, Cumberbitches. I can think of 15 more gender neutral terms off the top of my head but men and those who identify as male were inherently excluded from the fandom. I can think of ONE male fan. Maybe one that writes under his wife's account as to not get ridiculed. Because they would be ridiculed by the nannies, that is who they are, the "gatekeepers of the fandom", deciding who is worthy to be a Ben fan.

They have made fun of fans before. Not just skeptics. People they don't like or don't want in their little clique. So the majority of Ben's fans are middle aged rich white women. Not because that's who he's trying to reach as an audience but because that is who his uber fans allow to worship him.

If you are in need of examples of how out of control the uber fans are take the following for an example.

Someone did a nice tweet about other actors. It had nothing to do with Ben, although it did feature Tom Hiddleston and other Marvel actors. The ubers starting by saying Ben wasn't listed, then jumped into, well, a screenshot is worth a thousand words.

As they say, that escalated quickly...

*Shotgun Wedding is an American term for a marriage precipitated by the pregnancy. It comes from an American colloquialism, termed as such based on a stereotypical scenario in which the father of the pregnant bride-to-be threatens the reluctant groom with a shotgun in order to ensure that he follows through with the wedding.

[miggydiaz]

For the salty ask 1, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 14, 16, 20, 22, 23 and 26 for cobra kai pretty please

My answers are so long, so I am putting this under the cut @wonderwolfballoon! Also I just noticed your Daniel icon I SWEAR I’M NOT DRAGGING HIM TO BE MEAN!!!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?* My biggest IDGI ships for CK are probably Elimetri or Kiaz. I’m not here to yuck other people’s yums or anything, but I do think there is something to the idea that Migueli isn’t popular because it’s a ship predicated on mutual respect for one another. Kiaz has the obvious enemies to lovers vibe and I just generally don’t sail those ships. Elimetri has... its problems, IMO, most especially around the idea that Demetri has to like... save Hawk from himself? Idk. I just like romances that I feel are based on love and mutual respect and not ...tropes.

 I am also not a Lawrusso shipper although I have a lot of those on my dash and you all are great! Again, not yucking yums! Daniel just makes me want to head butt him too much to pair him romantically with anyone 😂 I don’t even want his wife with him. He needs to self reflect~ 

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?* 

I once saw someone ship Amanda and Anoush and I noped out of that so fucking fast I almost tripped over myself. I’m not sure if they’re popular. I just think some people feel the need to get Amanda out of the way to sail their ship and stuck her with Anoush which... no. Just no. Let Amanda be a messy single queen with a martini hobby, thanks! 

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?* 

Not in CK. I’m lucky because I pretty much stick to my little Migueli bubble and I’m okay with that? Lmao lord knows the Squad on my dash is all about the DISCOURSE™️ so idk if I just don’t feel the need to get sucked into the wider ship wars because we have good healthy debates, but so far, so good. 

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?* 

I never hated it... I just didn’t have many feelings on shipping with this show in general at first. Then I was in the CK tag one day and I saw Migueli fan art. Then I discovered @afurioushawk‘s falconry series and it was all over for me after that! So fandom DID make me love a ship, just not one I hated.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why? Oh boy. How much time do you have? In some instances, it’s a good thing season 3 happened because otherwise, this would be a multi-page essay on the problems with race and class privilege as it pertains to Sam LaRusso and just some... generally not nice comments about Demetri that I’m conflicted about because I’m not sure if the writers are intentionally trying to write him a specific way and it’s just not translating to me or what. But season 3 revamped both of their images with me a lot. I’m way more flexible in terms of Demetri, but lmao I was the number one Sam LaRusso hater for a minute there (or maybe number 2, I can think of at least 1 other person who was in that boat with me back in like... August/September, but I won’t call them out because I don’t want them to get hate...) However, I have grown a bit in my opinions of Sam, and even though I still think she’s responsible  for a lot of shit she NEVER gets held accountable for, I also think that’s a reflection of the adults around her too, and this includes my otherwise unproblematic queen, Amanda.

But honestly, my most hated character (other than the obvious villain that is Kreese) is Daniel. No matter how handsome Ralph Macchio looks in cable-knits, because Daniel has always been a sanctimonious, shit starting drama king and I say that about KK Daniel too. I’m not saying Daniel was the ~true villain~ or anything, or that Johnny was innocent -- I can only drink so much Red and Yellow Kool-Aid -- but Daniel’s always been annoying to me as a protagonist, and turning him into a smarmy wealthy car salesman who is also a class traitor did not do him any favors in my book. I will say, I also like Daniel more in season 3 than I have in previous season, but since he is the adult, I will be mad at him longer than I will be at the kids, ya feel?

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

 Johnny’s entire season 3 storyline. The sheer level of REGRESSION at every turn drives me bonkers. It’s like watching him go through all of the stumbling blocks of season 1 all over again, but without the “he’s learning! He’s going to make mistakes!” free pass that I was willing to give him the first time around. He regularly jeopardizes Miguel’s recovery and it’s played for laughs. He fucks up on every level with Robby. He spends most of his time running away when things get hard or too real. He drops the ball completely with Hawk, and like, not to put too fine a point on it, but a lot of Hawk’s issues are because Johnny put Hawk on this ‘flip the script and be a badass’ path and then offered him no guidance for how to walk that path and instead left him in the hands of Kreese. And then he has the nerve to go to Hawk and basically be like “I made you what you are!” lmao yeah Johnny, you sure did, that’s why he’s breaking peoples arms, hoss. And then all of the nonsense with Ali and Carmen, like... if you were planning on teasing KK fans with Ali and him getting back together, why write her as married in the first place? Why even tease the idea of Carmen and Johnny until after you were sure what you were going to do with Ali as a character? Instead, they do what they did in season 3 and it makes him look like a colossal jerk. So yeah. Literally every choice they made with Johnny this season, I hated.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom? People who hate Tory are not valid, sorry not sorry.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? I would have kept Miguel entirely out of Tory and Sam’s beef. Or at least not directly inserted him into it like he was with the kiss. I know the writers thought it was necessary to push Tory to the point of inciting a fight at school, but I am just so exhausted over girls being unable to fight about anything but boys. Also I would bring Aisha back.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom? 

I am probably biased, but I still maintain it’s Migueli. Look, Miguel stood up to Kyler for Eli and Demetri both. Hawk joined CK because he saw what it could do for some skinny nerd who was getting his ass kicked. And he took to CK, really took to it! Even flourished before he started getting mixed messages. And he and Miguel were pretty much inseparable after that. They coordinated their wardrobes ffs. Hawk dubbed him El Serpiente and no one else calls him that — it’s Hawk’s nickname for him. Miguel confides in Hawk only secondary to Johnny, who is like a father to him. The entire Coyote Creek exchange shows they can fight and disagree but... well, to use the cliche, they don’t go to bed angry, you know? They’re square the very next day. Hawk is the first person at Miguel’s side when he gets kicked over the balcony and the LOOK he gives the second floor where Robby is? That boy is out for blood immediately to avenge Miguel. So much of his s3 behavior is fueled by that need for vengeance because MD is wholly responsible for what happened to Miguel. And Miguel is so confused and betrayed by Hawk’s shift in behavior, and yet still holds out hope that Hawk will see through Kreese’s BS and come with him to The Dojo I Refuse to Name. And when Hawk does make that deflection finally, he shows up at MD with Miguel. There’s so much more that I know I’m missing but whether someone ships them or not, that is a tried and true love and respect for one another, a willingness to fight for and defend one another that you don’t often see in TV friendships... or even in most tv relationships. And I just think that’s the best ❤️

22. Popular character you hate?

 Daniel, hands down. I mean... I don’t even necessarily hate Daniel, you know? I just think it’s really, pardon the pun, rich that a guy of immense wealth and privilege can’t get a therapist or turn to his far too patient wife for help with his existential crisis over his high school bully opening up a karate dojo to make some money and help a kid who is getting the crap kicked out of him. I get that Daniel’s narrative is necessary for the rivalry, but it does nothing to make him sympathetic as a character.

23. Unpopular character you love?

 Tory, definitely! Everyone hates her and then there’s me and the Squad over here banging away on our Coors Banquet cans yelling TORY RIGHTS! Seriously she catches so much flack for a teenage girl who is... the sole income provider for her family? At 17? While caring for a sick mom and a little brother? And fending off a creepy landlord? Tory has it so rough and then she meets a cool girl at her dojo who asks her to hang out at some fancy ass country club which is probably the nicest place Tory has ever been in, and then she gets talked down to and accused of being a thief and has another girl lay hands on her, only to find out that same girl is her new boyfriend’s ex and... ugh. I HATE that Tory gets shit all over when Tory and Sam wouldn’t even have beef if Sam had apologized to Tory as she SHOULD have. Tory isn’t innocent, but damn, I’d be pressed too.

 My other unpopular character I love? Nathaniel. Seriously that kid is THE best. He’s a literal child but is out there like I WILL FUCK YOU UP, even though he’s MD. Honestly, his Cobra Kai energy is so ferocious I won’t be surprised if he moves back to CK eventually. Anyway, I love him.


26. Most shippable character?

 Miguel, hands down. It’s because he’s so affable and sweet overall. And because his hair is so fluffy and pettable that no one can resist touching it. I like to imagine that one day he and Hawk are talking about their hair and Hawk makes a joke about how Miguel’s mane is getting so long that it’s going to be bigger than his own, and then he reaches out to ruffle it and internally has a bisexual meltdown because oh no IT’S SO SOFT AND NICE. But uh... anyway, yes. Definitely Miguel.