#this hurts me so bad

[eddiebuckley-diaz]

Buck’s every fear is coming true now. Eddie is finding someone to hangout with, someone who has so much in common with him. Eddie is going out with Tommy all the time and having Tommy over all the time. Christopher has become enamored by Tommy and thinks he is so cool. Eddie only asks Buck to babysit now and hasn’t asked for him to hangout with them. Eddie has started not telling Buck at all that him and Tommy are hanging out. What’s worse: Eddie hasn’t even taken the time to spend one-on-one time with Buck, not even once.

[pureanonofficial]

How could I know I would have to leave you?

MAX VON ESSEN & KANISHA MARIE FELICIANO IN THE SECRET GARDEN

[nighthire-a]

if you hear screaming and sobbing it’s just me

[shobiolovechild]

guys do you think one day where gonna watch him smiling like this again?

[dreqmics]

rhodey being a scrull in secret invasion made me cry at the slight possibly that it wasn’t really rhodey who was there when tony died, and instead, the real rhodey is somewhere out there not knowing his bestest friend is dead

[aroace-poly-show]

SCREAMING

[s0r3wach1gauy0]

I would actually go insane, fuck that. I've been pissed about light pollution for years, that would break me in ways I haven't considered yet. The fucking night sky is now being considered a potential space for being advertised to. That's actually insane. If this wasn't be stopped, would future generations not know what the night sky really looked like to the naked eye? Actually depressing.

[charmcoindied]

it's so sickening having edit ideas and no knowledge of editing. i can only imagine it so hard i need to be able to beam my vision into people's minds

[jacks-wack-attack]

As if I already wasn't crying today

this fucking shot from despair literally haunts me

[lil-vibes]

all these two know how to do is put themselves in situations and then yearn afterwards smh 😔

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[spoopdeedoop]

something about being alive, despite all of it, because all of it

[lazylittledragon]

they're late for school (again)

[quarkfancam]

just watched empok nor

[corpsentry]

pick your battles

[tmblrog]

netflix. netflix if you hurt my babygirl i will do unspeakable things to you