#this has been a struggle to write but it'll be done soon

[evertidings]

— JULY 2024.

accomplishments.

helloooo!!!!! how's everyone doing? summer's almost over here and it's so strange. like damn, where did the time go?? i hope whatever season it is for you that you're enjoying yourself <33

in terms of the chapter, i think i have a good grasp of how much longer it'll take for me to finish so here it is: expect an update sometime in september, likely towards the middle of the month. at that point it'll be almost a year since the last update (haha don't mention it please i already feel guilty enough as it is) so i really appreciate those of you that have waited so long. seriously, i don't ever want to make you wait for an update for that long ever again. of course, things are subject to change, so there's a chance that this might not happen, but i'm hoping. fingers crossed.

the chapter has been a pretty heavy one so far. maybe not so in terms of the actual plot, but the emotions are high. it's probably why i've struggled so much with it, among other things that have happened in my life.

right now i'm writing three scenes at once, with the hopes of finishing one this week. the problem with me is that i'll start scenes and then leave them for me to finish later, which is exactly what it is now: later. so i'm cursing myself for leaving all this work but on the bright side, the majority of it is done and it's really just filling in the gaps and blanks. as long as i can push through this, we're good.

my biggest obstacle will probably be the editing for this chapter, since i wrote some of it months ago. like, maybe february months ago. but we'll tackle that when we get there. as you can tell, there's a lot of "i'll just hope for when we get there" going on. maybe it's a bad tactic, but for now, i'm looking directly at what i have in front of me and will wait to worry about whatever i have to do in the future, in the future. so yeah.

once again, thank you so much for your patience! i promise the chapter is coming as soon as i can get it out to you. i hate the long wait too but i'll make it worth it <3

stats.

chapter total: ~35,890 words (+14,790)

game total: ~507,890 words

[cosyvelvetorchid]

for bucktommy prompts - tommy smiled as he looked down the aisle at his extremely soon to be husband.

This prompt actually came at the perfect time because I already had some semblance of an idea on my head, so thanks for pushing me to write it!

If anybody else has a prompt, send to my ask and I'll write a little something something ❤️

********

Buck nuzzled further into Tommy's warmth. He'd slip beneath his ribcage and tightly wrap around his actual heart if he could. Tommy squeezed his arms around him tighter

"We should probably get up." He said placing a kiss on the top of Bucks head.

"I don't wanna." He replied muffled into Tommy's chest.

"Me neither, kid, but we've got a big day ahead, plus an early flight tomorrow - I'd like to be at least somewhat prepared."

Buck knew he was right. The plans had all come together in a rush last minute. One minute they were discussing ideas for Bucks birthday, and the next the plans were made, tickets bought, and bags were packed. Despite Tommy insisting, much to Bucks chagrin, that he leave the clipboard at the station, everything had ran pretty smoothly. Mostly because Tommy was the one doing the organising. He may not have had a clipboard but he had a way of making sure things were done properly.

"What time is everyone arriving, again?" Buck asked.

"Food is coming at 6pm, everyone arriving 6:30pm."

"So we have some time then.." Buck climbed on top of him. Tommy always struggled to resist Bucks advances. The way he so eagerly wanted to show Tommy how much he loved him. He indulged Buck for a few moments, leaning up into his languid kisses, before gently pulling away.

"Hold that thought til tonight." He said, half lifting Buck from him.

"But-"

"Nope. Later, Romeo." He placed a kiss on his forehead and got out of bed.

***

"I still don't understand why we had to get this dressed up." Chimney complained pulling at his shirt collar.

"Because it's Bucks birthday and he wanted a nice celebration. Besides, it'll be good seeing eveyone and not have half of you in uniform or dirty turnouts."

They got out if the car and Maddie took a bag from the trunk.

"Whats that?" Chim asked.

"Oh just some party favours Buck asked me to bring."

"There's my favourite girl" Buck greeted them at the door immediately picking up Jee-yun into a hug.

"Look at you!" Maddie admired Bucks deep burgundy suit. "It's nice to see you dressed like a grown up." She teased. Buck smiled.

"It is a special occasion. Gotta make some effort."

"Since when have you thought birthdays were special?" Chim asked.

"I think that's kind of obvious Howie.." Maddie answered pointing behind Buck. Tommy walked toward them in a navy blue suit so perfectly fitted it had to have been tailored she thought. He smiled them and reached a hand to stroke Jee-yun's hair.

"Hi sweetheart."

"Hi uncle Tommy!" She excitedly responded.

"Hey guys." He kissed maddie on the cheek and gave a hug to Chim. Everyone else is in the kitchen"

"Yeah sorry were late. Someone wouldn't leave until she found her rabbit." Chim gestured to Jee-yun.

"No problem. Come on." Tommy and Buck led them to the back ontonthe kitchen where the rest of the 118 were. A buffet was laid out along the entire length of the counter, and an array of drinks sat on the island.

"Finally!" Hen called out to Chim as she walked over. "Whats with the curtains?" She asked pointing to the heavy black drapes covering the bifolding doors that lead out to the back deck. "That ocean view is the best part of this house."

"Uh.. there's a problem with the deck. Couple of the boards have weakened, and didn't want the kids to go out there when it's not safe." Tommy answered. Chimney noticed a look between him and Maddie buy didn't acknowledge it.

"Ah. Good thinking."

"Happy birthday, kid." Bobby said walking over.

"Thanks cap."

"You looking forward to your trip?" He asked.

"Trip?" Lucy asked

"Buck here is abandoning us for two weeks to go on vacation." Chimney answered.

"Ooh where you going?" Lucy.

"I'm taking him to a cabin in Vermont." Tommy replied kissing Buck on the cheek.

"Stop being so adorable" Lucy responded.

"Is everyone here?" Tommy asked Buck.

"Yeah, I think so."

"You ready?" He leaned in and whispered quietly into his ear.

"I am." He smiled warmly back. Tommy nodded knowingly at Maddie.

"Right, I think it's time for some real celebratory drinks." She announced before removing a couple of bottles of champagne from the fridge?

"Champagne? Fancy!" Lucy declared taking a glass. Maddie handed everyone a glass and asked for everyone's attention.

"I just wanted to wish my big little brother a happy birthday. I know that you wouldn't want to share this day with anybody else than those here in this room. I love you so much and I'm so ridiculously happy for you." She raised a glass and everyone followed suit.

"Happy birthday!" They cheered together.

"Also! I think Tommy has something to add.

Everyone looked to him standing a little awkwardly. The man fought fires for a living but standing in a room full of people made him nervous. He hated being the center of attention.

"Thanks everybody for coming. So, as you know tomorrow Evan and I are going on vacation-"

"Boooo!" Eddie called out eliciting a laugh from everyone.

"However, it's not just a typical vacation were going on."

Everyone's faced were a wash of confusion.

"You getting married or something?" Karen suggesting jokingly. Tommy and Buck looked at one another with a smile neither of them could hide.

"Wait.. you're.. are you eloping?!" Chimmed asked. Everyone was standing wide eyed waiting for the answer.

"Uh.. not exactly." Buck answered. "We're going on our honeymoon." Tommy moved to the back and pulled away the black curtains to reveal the deck.

Chairs were placed all around - a mismatch of them, begged and borrowed - facing two small potted palm trees, a few feet apart wrapped in twinkling lights. More twinkling lights and lanterns hung all above and around giving the whole deck a beautiful warm glow.

"My uh.. my sister was right." Bucks voice was a little croaky, thick with emotion. "There's nobody else we would rather share this moment with that you guys. Our family." He turned his attention to Bobby. "What do you say. Cap? You wanna marry us?".

Bobby smiled broadly.

"My pleasure, kid."

There was a few moments of silence before the room erupted into joyous noise.

Oh my god!

Congratulations!

I can't believe it!

You sneaky son of a..!

The next 10 minutes were spent with everyone embracing them both. And chastising them for keeping it a secret.

Maddie opened up the bag she had brought in, took out a box and opened it to reveal an array of small  buttonhole flowers.

"Wait, you knew?!" Chim said to Maddie.

"Of course I did. Who do you think helped decorate?"

"I knew two of those chairs looked familiar. They're ours! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Howie, I love you - but you can't keep a secret to save you're life." Chimney started to protest but quickly conceded.

***

"I can't believe my little brother is getting married." Maddie told Buck after pulling him aside. Everyone else was taking their seat outside.

"I know, right?" He said, almost not believing it himself. "Is it.. is it weird that I kind of wish that Daniel was here to see it?" Tears formed in Maddies eyes, remembering their brother.

"No, its not weird. I think he'd be happy for you too." She said with a sad smile. "But hey, mom and dad are going to lose their mind when they find out, so you have that to look forward to."

"They're only now just starting to accept I'm dating a guy - I did not want to have to deal with their thoughts and feelings about marrying one. Besides they missed your first wedding so really im just carrying on the Buckley tradition."

Maddie lightly smacked him on the arm. He raised his hands in defence.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry." He laughed.

"Seriously, I'm so happy for you, Evan." She brought him into a hug.

"I'm happy for me too."

***

"So Buck told me you dont have a best man?" Eddie asked Tommy as they walked outside.

"Actually I wanted to talk to you about that." He turned his attention Chimney. Chim looked around before looking back at Tommy.

"Me?"

"You saved my life. I wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for you." Chim smiled at him. "More importantly, if you hadn't of called asking for my help I wouldn't have met Evan. So all this-" He gestured to everyone taking their seats on their beautifully decorated deck "-wouldnt be happening if it weren't for you."

Chimney sniffed away the emotion he felt and reached out to shake Tommy's hand.

"Absolutely." He smiled and Tommy pulled him into a hug. The same type of hug he gave him after he saved his life - tightly held with his face against Chimneys to show just how grateful he was.

"Speaking of best men, you better go see if your boy is ready." Chim told Eddie. It was a given be would be Bucks best man.

Things started to quiet down as eveyone started to settle into their seats. Tommy stood at the front. Chimney to his side, looking towards the doors waiting for the love of his life to come out.

Tommy thought that it was only when you were about to die that your life flashed before your eyes. As he stood waiting, heart thumping in his chest so hard he thought for sure everyone could hear it, he thought about all the choices and moments in his life that lead to here.

All the hiding, all of the hate, all of the heartbreak. His parents, the army, even Captain Gerrard. All people and experiences that pushed him further away from who he wanted to be. Further away from happiness. He thought about all the times he'd come home from work to an empty house. All of the birthdays he'd spent alone. All those moments that he was convinced that he would never be loved.

As his eyes swept across everyone sitting in front of him - Chimney, Hen, Bobby, and everyone else he'd gotten to know at the 118 since they reconnected - his heart warmed even more. He finally had the one thing he had yearned for since he was a child. A family.

And as Maddie pressed play and the sound of Lauren Daigle's 'Hold On To Me' began playing out, the biggest smile spresd across his face as the most beautiful man he'd ever had the privilege of knowing walked out and he saw the rest of his life walking towards him.

Evan.

***

Tommy helped a drunken Lucy into Hens car, the last of the guests to leave, then walked back into the house and closed the door behind him. Buck was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, waiting. Tommy walked towards him slowly.

"So, Mr Kinard, what do you want to do now?" Buck closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around Tommys neck.

"Show my husband how much I love him." Then he crashed his lips into Tommy's.

[joelscruff]

Just curious but what are the WIPs you have brewing up? Can’t wait to see more from you <3

i have so many WIPs at the moment 😭 my current dilemma is having all these ideas but for some reason having no brain power to actually write any of them (except for the last one on this list 👀)

feelings on fire chapter 11 & beyond - i'm in a weird place with fof at the moment. i love these two so much and i have their whole story planned out (even further than you might think) and i do plan on finishing it, but right now it's just not flowing for me. it's affecting my other writing too because i just feel this immense pressure to get it done and because of that, i tend to guilt myself out of working on anything else. it's been a struggle lmao. but i'm trying. i go into the draft whenever i have a little bit of motivation.

darkness hums (next to freeze or to thaw installment) - joel's going on the raid so you're left behind with tommy 👀 i'll get this done eventually lmao i have to be in the right mood to work on this series

beautiful stranger - this is my joel x escort!reader fic that i still feel SO passionate about but haven't finished. featuring an insecure & out of practice joel + lots and lots of joel worship. again, it'll get done, just not sure when.

pick my petals off - THIS fic has been in developmental hell for a long time lmao. dbf!joel, very very pervy and coercive who wants to sleep with you before you go away for college. huge age gap obviously, very filthy. it's actually a series so i haven't had much time to really focus on it. will i ever write it? we'll see lmao

stray animal - can't say too much about this. but. VERY dark fic. kinda fucked up. involves a glory hole. stepdad!joel. we'll see what happens lol

untitled best friend's dad!joel fic - this is my current passion project, i'll be honest. been thinking about it for a long time and would really like to start writing it soon. it's a series though so i'd like to have most - if not all - of it written before i start posting it. it takes place in jackson and you're ellie's best friend. you have a crush on joel, he doesn't see you that way. but then something happens and you end up growing closer, very slowburn. i've also been referring to it as touch starved!reader fic lol. han @swiftispunk has heard alllllllllll about it

imperfect for you - a drabble i'm writing for @janaispunk's 1500 kisses challenge!! it's joel + nose kiss 🥰 hope to have this up soon, it's kinda taken a backseat because i suddenly got inspiration to write something else.....↓

⭐is it that sweet? - this one's coming tonight most likely, so i won't say too much 👀 pervy!joel + the beach ⭐

so yeah. a lot. i mean, this doesn't even include ideas that are only living in my brain rn and not a draft, like a sequel to my boss!dave york fic and a threesome sequel to my frankie fic one of your girls, more of my boyfriend's dad!joel (believe it or not, i do intend to return to these two eventually. i miss them v much), etc. i feel like sometimes readers might think that just because an author hasn't posted for a while they maybe have lost interest in their fics/writing/fandom/etc, but it really couldn't be further from the truth lmao. i have so many ideas and i'm constantly writing things down, it's just actually turning them into fics that i've been struggling with lately. bear with me 💖 and thank you for asking!

[trashpandacraft]

the fibre we dyed over the weekend is all dry and has been photographed! i feel pretty good about it—for a couple cripples who tire real fast, we got a lot done. this coming week we're back to tolerable temperatures, so i strongly suspect that we'll be dyeing more soon. we're not exactly hot-weather people, so having a nice big stash of stuff we can play with while we hide in the aircon is nice.

so what'd i dye?

my camera really struggled with that red one, but i think this is as good as it's getting. that lurid patch at the top doesn't exist in real life—overall, the closer you get to the middle, the more true to life it looks.

i think my favourite is the last one, the black-grey with splotches. if i'm right, it's going to spin up really nicely. (if i'm wrong, it'll spin up...interestingly! i'll learn something, probably.)

the tonal blue is more for blending than it is spinning straight—we had ~400g rambouillet and i think we're doing a bunch of tonals to play around with. (@binchickencrafts did a purple one when i did the blue.)

anyhow, the blue-grey is lonk, the blue is rambouillet, the red-orange is whitefaced woodland, and the multi is southdown, and i have about 200g of everything except the blue. (i know no one cares, but i have to write this down for me, otherwise i have no idea what i've dyed and have to try to reverse engineer it, and i hate doing that.)

pretty good weekend!

[an-angel-in-the-garden]

Romantic Inuyasha x Fem!Reader where Inuyasha and reader are stuck in a room together and Inuyasha gets more and more nervous as time goes by (He can’t get out because he’s it’s a new moon). Reader plays with his hair to calm him down which catches him off guard because nobody’s ever done that before. Surprise surprise, he likes it a LOT.

Wow, I haven't gotten an Inuyasha request in a while. This is very pre relationship leaning. So more like him just realizing that he likes the reader and how it makes him feel, hope that's alright. I also added some headcanons. I felt like my writing was a tad lacking and wanted to add just a little more to the end to fill it out.

" Argh! Come on already!!" The yelling only echoes within the dimly lit room. After the third attempt you'd think he'd give up, but Inuyasha was always too stubborn for that. It's hard to say just how much time has passed but it couldn't have been that long since no one has shown up to save you. " I think that's enough. At this rate you're just going to get hurt!" There's an annoyed huff as Inuyasha practically throws himself on the floor. " At most we've been here an hour, the others will find us soon enough so just be a little more patient maybe?" 

" An hour is way too long. Anything could happen! Plus, you really think those idiots will find us by morning." Inuyasha snots. 

" Well if they don't that's fine. By morning you'll be able to get us out without hurting yourself." The young woman smiles. " Really, it's fine Yasha. This isn't the worst thing we've dealt with." Although she may be taking the situation in stride, Inuyasha found himself only growing more anxious. Though it's true that this isn't the worst they've been through, he couldn't stand being so powerless and made more human than ever by the new moon he felt so... unsure about what to do next. A few beats of silence followed before he stood to try again, it's not as if anyone would stop him. oh, how wrong he was, so very wrong a mere five minutes after he'd started banding on the door and searching the room he found himself rudely dragged back to the bed in the corner and forced to sit down

" HEY!" 

" Don't yell. I'm just trying to calm you down. We are going to be fine; I promise." Before Inuyasha can argue he feels a hand press softly on his head. Then another and soon those two soft hands are running through his hair and scratching his scalp. For a moment he tenses, it's been so long since anyone has treated him so softly. The moment his brain catches up with what's happening Inuyasha knows it's too late. His face grows warm and red, his mouth hurts from the smile on his face and his heart is beating a mile a minute. Yet he doesn't want it to stop. For the first time since ending up in this room Inuyasha feels safe and okay. With your hands gently soothing him and your voice putting him at ease he knows it's alright, so long as he has you everything will be okay.

it's not something he ever gave much thought to but one moment becomes his lifeline 

He doesn't fall fast or hard. It's just a slow and gradual build that comes crashing down when he finally notices it 

That warmth and comfort around you has been there for so he never thought to question why it was there he just accepted it

Now he can see that it likely meant something more even then its just something he can't ignore anyone 

But he also struggles to just trust that feeling or the idea that you won't turn your back on him 

He's content to just stay in this room, with you comforting him and relaxing together 

Ignoring the stress of the world and the mission you all have to finish 

Maybe this won't change anything, maybe it'll change everything he's not really sure right now, but he does know that this feels right 

So, for however long this is going to last, he'll just enjoy and the rest can be dealt with later

I really hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for requesting it's always nice to try out new styles or characters I have yet to write for. Shout out to my dear friend Birdie who helped me out when I got stuck on this! We love Birdie. Have a good day or night, Lilly~ Also I noticed I never added this to my posts but if you see any spelling errors feel free to let me know.

[uroboros-if]

A few things

Hi guys! Just wanted to drop by and say a few things 💕

One, I will no longer be using Wix for Uroboros, and instead will be using WordPress. This change will happen once I finish Chapter 2 to keep myself focused on priorities with the IF.

Two, I've been writing a lot of personal pieces and projects unrelated to Uroboros, but I've written a lot this past month!

A part of me is sad not to be writing on Uroboros, but I've decided to work on my writing discipline to write a couple thousand words everyday instead of worrying about editing. I hope to translate this skill to the development of Uroboros! November will be Uroboros-free for the time being, however.

I've also done this to not lose steam with Uroboros. A certain mental quirk I have is being dictated by my fixations, varying in length and intensity. While I still love Uroboros dearly as one of my first serious projects, I do not want to lose my excitement for it, and that means writing other personal pieces. ❤️

I've learned quite a bit about myself along the way. For some reason, Uroboros is taking extremely slow for me to write relatively; I used to churn out 2k words a day for any other story. Uroboros is a big departure from that, and even writing 300 words takes the soul from my body.

Another struggle I have is getting past the prologue and Chapter 1 in any story I write. With some excellent advice, I've realized it's because I'm hyperfocused on the plot itself. Plot is the building blocks, the foundation, but story is the tale of the characters themselves, and how they carry the readers through the dullest parts of the novel.

I truly needed a breather from stressing out about Uroboros' progress and its finer details. Stepping away from it has given me clarity and perspective, and I have also began to long to return to it. Distance makes the heart grow fonder!

I will most likely be posting the side project I've been working on, under a different name. It's completely and utterly different from Uroboros, and it targets a much different audience, hence why I want to keep my personas separate. I won't say what it is, however!! :)

It'll be a much, much quicker write than Uroboros, but my magnum opus will always be Uroboros, and I will not waste inspiration on anything else if I had it; it's mainly for days I cannot bring myself to be inspired, which are quite many. 🥺

Anyway, that was quite a ramble. I will hopefully see you guys soon!! 🥺💕💕 In commemoration of this mini update, I will break my rule and write a little for Uroboros today. 💕

[miasmaghoul]

How am I supposed to pick a wip with a list like that!? I want them all. But if I have to pick just one: could you please tell me about the dubious handy??!!?!? ♡♡♡

I SURE CAN but it's under the cut for dubcon reasons ♡

So this has been living in my head for like a year and a half at this point but I will consider it a WIP because TECHNICALLY I have written SOME words about it but honestly most of them have been used to torment @st-danger.

Anyway, the dubious handy is going to be a kinda angsty if/dew but also dewther fic that takes place in era 3, right when Things happen and the new lineup takes over. Dew meets Ifrit and there's attraction immediately, but Aether (they are together) warns Dew to stay away from him. That Ifrit's bad news, almost as bad as Alpha, but Dew has never been one to heed advice.

Despite that though, there's no time to do much about it. The new tour starts very soon and having to deal with a new lineup and all the preparations involved in that have everyone scrambling. There's some flirting, sure, but beyond that it's no more than swapped glances Dew being subjected to the sight of Ifrit humping his guitar every time Terzo turns around in rehearsals. On the road, they start their antics on stage, butting at each other like goats - it's Ifrit's idea to tease the kiss, and the tension builds.

Before they know it, half the tour is done. They're all having a well-deserved break - a night in the middle of nowhere, sharing beers around a hastily built campfire beside the bus. A little something that makes it feel like home. Dew's a little tipsy, leaning against Aether and listening to him talk to Zephyr, but his eyes keep drifting to Ifrit. Eventually he sets down his drinks and excuses himself, Aether giving his hand a squeeze. Gotta piss, he explains, shrugging on his leather jacket - it'll be chilly away from the fire - and Aether gives him a sage nod and a pat on the ass before he goes.

Dew shuffles his way behind the bus, swaying a bit as his boots crunch on the gravel. He doesn't have to go far to have privacy, and he can still hear the others chatting while he unzips. He's mid-piss when he hears crunching in the gravel behind him, and Dew sighs. Almost done, he says, but the footsteps continue. Heavier than his own, closer and closer, right behind him, and before Dew knows what's happening a large hand is batting his own out of the way, grabbing his still dribbling cock and starting to stroke.

In the distance, he hears Aether laugh, and when a too-warm breath hits his neck Dew chokes.

And then the dubious handy ensues, and it devolves into a whole internal struggle for Dew and he makes several Bad Decisions because of it.

He really should've listened to Aether.

Anyway, I really REALLY want to write this one, and I feel like when I get into a groove with it it'll come easily, but it just hasn't happened yet. 😔

[gorjee-art]

Hello! Your COTL art and AU is incredible! And your pinned Avatar looks very cool in otherworldly being way. Say, what happens in the Ascension of Mercy AU? What gave you the idea of prophets, false and true, regarding the Crowns? What about the other Crowns the Bishops had? Who are their prophets? What made Narinder willingly give up the Red Crown?

Drink water regularly, and may a kind week grace you.

Ohhh this is just too much fun to resist answering. 1. What gave you the idea of false/true prophets? Well the game itself gave me the idea!... I know I know, it sounds as though I'm being cheeky, but the tagline truly says "A Game of False Prophets" which...implies there are true prophets of the crown!

2. Who are the other prophets? No one is certain, the crown must be worn and tested for all the animals, but playing that game...is far too dangerous. However, Haro has told tales and prophecies of the true kings/queens of their Crown...The Lamb of Mercy, The Stag of Order, The Cattle of Harvest, The Snakes of Healing, and The Dove of Peace...But best leave them to live in ignorance... for now. 3. What made Narinder give up the crown? As soon as he made the deal with Lamb, it was long over down the line. Once he lay there, groveling and sulking in the sands of time looking up at the vengeful Lamb desperately trying to exercise restraint, he knew, the true prophet had shown their face.

4. What happens in the story of Ascension of Mercy? What you saw is...basically it! It's the story of Lamb...Ascending! Simple, cut and short, with lots of in-between. Now it may seem sparse, but I was inspired by stories such as Midsommar, Darkwood, and Mundaun. It's a trial. Is being a god truly a gift? Or is being a mortal that has a short few years on this earth...better?

As someone with a lot of anxiety and occasional existentialism, I decided to use Lamb as my therapy tool, what they go through is my fears. Living forever, eternity is a frightful concept for me, the unknown of what's going to happen to me, am I changing for the better or for the worse, am I a good person or will I succumb to my demons, Am I a coward that will not be able to protect those I love? Ascension of Mercy is essentially...the gift of the human experience.

Now there are some story beats, such as: - My plan for Lamb is to have a personal journal writing down their thoughts on certain NPCs. - Lamb witnessing the changes of the land no longer resembling its previous grounds - Lamb struggling with..."forgiveness", with the bishops and Narinder. I mean...they've committed genocide. It's hard to look at someone that was reborn as mortal. Who destroyed your entire family and gave you all your mental torment. They're..."Domesticated" sure, but they are not lacking in their bite. The only real Bishop they can get along with is...well. Shamura. Hard to fight with someone who had what was essentially is a tumor on their brain making them prone to aggression. Narinder warms up with Lamb eventually, sure, forever is a long time, but with the others, it's...so much harder, and they lack the proper patience in the meantime - Lastly, Lamb attempts to reverse what had been done, they want to bring back the goats, sheep, and lamb that had been killed...I won't say how that goes, it'll spoil the fun :)

[quigzahhutt]

um hey hi hello how are you doing on this fine day my dude (struggling how to type normally bc i JUST woke up from a nap and i should really be restrained from my phone)

so um i wanted to ask for a trick or treat if you wouldn't mind!

BUT i did also want to give you a little treat myself if i may :)

so when you reblogged and put in the tags that your favourite fic is 'please turn those headlights around' but it's your least popular and obviously i had to RUN to read it and i unfortunately cannot say anything remotely intelligent in my 'still in bed' state of mind but im literally sobbing while typing this. i fear you have made a lump in my throat that will never go away and every time i try and swallow i'll feel it as a constant reminder of sorts of the devastating beauty that is your writing. like everything abt it. as of rn it feels like its been FOREVER since the logan news dropped (its been like 2 months) but reading this made me go right back to that very day purely bc of how well you captured the emotions. and the way logan was feeling SO MUCH and you still managed to fit it in all there like what can't you do bro???? like ur literally so cool omg. and. and. and the way logan's mind looked so empty but at the same time so much was going on and just yeah like i cant really describe it properly but YEAH. and also first time switching, that's so scary but you still managed to subtly weave it so beautifully in this narrative with the little awkwardness and apprehension with alex, they were so raw and vulnerable and honest with eo emotionally and physically in this SOB im gonna start crying again. AND the way the sex in the smut bit, it like basically represented, it wasnt just sex, it was also like a little symbol of like his ability???? and his own attitudes towards things in his life (his racing)???? like how when it said smth like 'gathering more data to improve his performance, ensuring a chance at a better finish.' or how he gets 'one track minded'. it's just. alot. yeah. ur like so super duper smart bro. yeah this piece of writing is like fucking poetry man i was literally reading a poem please hang it in the louvre and everything. never die pls and thanks. BYE sorry that was so long SOB

i hope you have a lovely day/night 💕

oh my word, FIRST OF ALL. THANK YOU? this inspired me to go reread it and it reminded me just how proud I am of that fic so THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the kind words on it. it's to this day one of my favorite pieces of work I've done ever and it has always bummed me out that it's my second least popular fic bcuz it's very dear to me, so hearing you say all this is just like. very very validating THANK YOU!!

because you have been so kind, you get an extra long and extra sweet treat from the 3rd part of Outgoing call! (which I will hopefully have finished . Soon) :)

Once he finally drags himself from bed and freshens up, Logan is already giving him an amused smile from the couch, the same one he would always give Alex when he was doing something unabashedly stupid, a slip of the fine-tuned and smug identity that Logan so carefully constructed. “What,” Alex deadpans, rounding the corner and trudging his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge and staring at the flickering innards like it'll magically give him all the answers to life. “What, I don't get a good morning?” Logan snarks, and Alex can hear the suppressed laugh in his voice. Alex has to fight with himself to keep a neutral face as he turns around, mindful not to let all his sickly sweet feelings translate into his expression. “What, will you want a kiss, too?” Alex retorts, pouring himself a glass of orange juice (Florida grown, the bottle proudly declares), his joints still stiff and not quite awake yet. Logan falls unusually quiet. He had been the one to start this whole interaction, and yet now he's freezing up. Alex chances a look at him, and finds Logan chewing the silky insides of his bottom lip, his eyes trained intensely on the juice and the way it sluices around the glass as Alex takes a calculated sip. There's a flush on his cheeks, and he finally forces his eyes away once he notices how purposeful Alex is being.

ahhh again thank you so much it actually means the world to me to hear such kind words :((❤️

send me a trick or treat and I'll surprise you with a trick or a treat ;)

[magpiefngrl]

mid-year book tag

Thanks for tagging me, @bloody-wonder! It's become a fun tradition to do this every year and I've been eagerly anticipating it :)

This hasn't been as prolific a year for me as the last several years have been. I've read 34 books by end of June, so about 10-20 less than I used to, and a lot of these have been rereads. The past couple of months have been super busy and I read a lot of fic, but struggled to finish novels. Fingers crossed for a better reading summer.

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2024?  I haven't read a book that blew me away so far. I've mentioned some of my faves here. I did enjoy most of my reads this year, but there isn't one book that stands out. (a fic, does, though. More on that later)

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2024? Dark Heir by Pacat. I was very invested, went back to read it again a week later, and it's made me very excited about the last novel.

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? The Brides of High Hill by Nghi Vo is definitely on my list (this will wait for 2025). There's also a new fantasy novel called Foul Days by a Bulgarian author that I'm curious about. Finally, Rebecca Roanhorse's Mirrored Heavens comes out soon but I still haven't read the second one in the series, so it'll also have to wait.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2024? Like you, KJ Charles's The Duke at Hazard is the one I'm most eagerly waiting.

5. Biggest Disappointment? I've been reading The Master and Margarita for two months now, forcibly stopping myself from DNFing it these days, because I don't actually hate it, it's just I can't bring myself to read it. But I also want to have read it, to be done with it. Idk why I'm struggling so much. Perhaps I'm not in the mood for it and would appreciate it at a later date. Based on the title and the positive reviews, I expected something more fascinating.

6. Biggest Surprise? The above, I guess.

7. Favourite New Author? Somehow, the only new authors I've read this year are Aliette de Bodard and Lois McMaster Bujold, and Bujold is the better one of the two. (The rest of the authors were people I've read before and I knew what their writing was like.)

8. Newest Favourite Character? Miles Vorkosigan, for his cleverness and his ability to always get in trouble and then to get creatively out of it.

9. Newest Fictional Crush? Not quite a crush, but my latest obsession is Bucky Barnes, entirely because of the fic I mentioned above (Out of the Dead Land, orphaned) which gave me the worst fic hangover. It's a stucky fic, a ship that never interested me, and it gave me feral feels about Bucky; it made me go back and rewatch a few Marvel films (and I had to torrent them since I'd ended my disney subscription; in other words, I had to go to some trouble); and it was a fic I kept thinking for days after I finished it. I'm actively stopping myself from rewatching Winter Soldier again today. And yes, not a book character, but the obsession is based on a fic and he's fictional so I say he counts :)

💕Best Ship💕 I loved Asmodeus and Thuan in de Bodard's Dominion of the Fallen series. Asmodeus is a Fallen Angel who likes stabbing and torture, Thuan is a dragon prince who tries to temper down his stabby husband. Will and James from Dark Rise are also a ship I enjoyed, though I'm more interested in their past selves.

10. Book That Made You Cry? There hasn't been one this year so far. And I cry easily, and I consider books that make me cry Superior. This tells you how mid the year has been.

12. Favourite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? I really liked Dune II but haven't read the book yet so don't know if it was a good adaptation. It was definitely a great film.

13. Favourite Review You’ve Written This Year? Have written a couple of longer reviews on GR but nothing that stands out as more creative or unique. I've been thinking about posting reviews on my website and I'd like to figure out a unique or unusual or at least a me way to do them.

14. Most Beautiful Cover? I read almost exclusively on my Kobo and pay scant attention to covers.

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? Many!

The Master and Margarita! hahah sobs :((

Finish a Lymond reread

reread tgcf now that I got all the novels

Harrow the Ninth

Some more Vorkosigan novels

Vita Nostra, which I've just begun

a couple of novels I bought YEARS ago and still haven't finished

and if I can read at least one of my 60-odd unread physical books I'll consider it a triumph

Tagging anyone who wants to do this! Perhaps @skeptiquex @hoko-onchi-writes @wolfpants @lettersbyelise and @gracerene might want to get the ball rolling?

2022 mid year post

2023 mid year post

[strwberri-milk]

May I ask for some head cannons of Kaeya if he was a singer and he liked his guitarist girlfriend? :3

NO OMG CRYING I LOVE THAT GRRRRRRRR

I think Kaeya as a singer has this perfect mixture of a breathy voice and stability behind it. He's got amazing control over his voice and uses it to make anybody who listens to him swoon.

It comes as no surprise he's got a loyal fanbase, easygoing personality mixed with incorrigible charm capturing anybody's heart as soon as they saw him. He's got the stage presence, kindness, and talent needed, which means it's no surprise he caught your attention when you started working with him.

First, it was meant to be a project or two, nothing too long term but Kaeya seemed to struggle a lot specifically with your part. He was texting you a bunch, asking you to come out and see him so you can try and record again. You didn't mind, finding that it was fun to spend hours with him in the recording studio.

One thing led to another and soon enough he was asking you out to dinner, claiming that it was to celebrate the completion of your project. He was nervous and nowhere near as eloquent as he normally is, finally able to confess near the end of the meal to your joy. You happily accepted his feelings, now sitting on his patio on a cool spring day with the breeze blowing through the hair as you two both tried to work on a new set of lyrics.

The soft humming of Kaeya's voice was dangerously soothing, your fingers lightly plucking at the strings of the guitar. You felt so distracted, trying not to let your nails catch as you drooped slightly, trying not to fall asleep.

"Hey, am I that boring I'm losing you?" he teases, coming over to the swinging chair and taking your guitar from you.

"Your voice is just so nice," you yawn, leaning against him. "I can't help but fall asleep."

"We're supposed to be working." There's a slight teasing bite to his tone, nosing against your cheek and pressing kisses to it.

"Serenade me, pretty boy," you mutter, resting your head against his chest.

"Is that all I am to you? A jukebox?"

Despite his "scolding", he can't help but hold you even closer to him, humming aimlessly until his tongue finds the path it wants to take. The words are finally coming to him as he affectionately cups your face, letting his love for you spill onto the sheets of paper.

It was another day of recording. Kaeya was being oddly secretive, not letting you hear or see the lyrics he finally finished agonising over. He seemed to have gotten a second wind on the project, writing out some tablature for you to follow to get the recording done.

You've been practising for a while and whenever Kaeya shows you what he's been doing with the guitar he records from you it's clear you're going to be the main focus instrumentally. The guitar is given the spotlight, soft and gentle amongst the other instruments he's laid underneath.

Finally, it's time for you to hear the finished product, Kaeya pulling you onto the couch in his studio. He puts you on his lap facing away from him, arms wrapped tightly around your waist as he fiddles with his phone, getting ready to play the track.

"You've been staring at the WIP file for a while Kaeya. I can't hear it if you don't press play, you know that, right?" you tease, unable to turn around and face him with how hard he's holding you.

"I know, I'm getting there. I'm just thinking about what it'll be like to perform it," he mutters.

"Really? Is it that different than your regular songs?" You feel him shake his head, sighing as he finally presses play.

His voice sounds soft and the music envelops both of you in the studio. You slowly catch on to what his reservations were, face flushing as you figure out it's a love song to you. The lyrics are just unabashed adoration for you and you can hear the smile in his voice as he was recording, finally managing to fight his grasp and turning to throw your arms around his shoulders.

"You are so sweet," you grin, peppering kisses all over his warm face.

He looks a little sheepish, smiling awkwardly as he takes in your praise.

"It's my love letter to you. I don't express myself the best when we're together but I found it easier when I was writing with you asleep with me," he admits, showing you that shyer side of him that he tries to keep buried down but can't help around you.

"Thank you Kaeya, really."

He gives you a soft kiss, first to your lips before continuing to your cheek and down to your shoulders, hoping to fluster you before you totally shut him down. It doesn't work the way he intends it to, now stuck listening to the song on repeat but your dancing around the studio makes him happier than he could ever imagine, deciding to let you listen to it to your heart's content.

[dollywheeler]

September 13th, 1996

Dear diary,

I have an idea for Will's assignment and I'm itching to work on it, but as I wouldn't dare using something as messy as charcoal in the Stevenson's living room, I'm just going to write it down so I don't forget. I tried using pencil but it just doesn't translate the way I want it to. I'll have to get back to it as soon as I get home - or maybe tomorrow as it'll probably be pretty late.

Anyway, my idea is as following; I want to redraw the bulging wallpaper so it has a tear in it, as if the thing beyond the wall has already breached it. I want a single, sharp fingernail to be visible, but it's not monstrous, just normal, manicured. That way it's both horror and escape at the same time, depending on the person looking at it. I want to do something with the lights too - play on it. Maybe I can ask Will for some advice on that. I'm struggling with the shadows and contours anyway, and it's been fun talking with him in class these past few weeks.

People seem to like him a lot too. Everyone except Whitney, though I don't think it's personal. Apparently he's taken over yearbook from Mrs. Newman, much to Whitney's chagrin, who's been working towards gaining her respect for the last two years. She's always liked a challenge and I doubt Will is going to be a worthy opponent - he's way too agreeable and too reasonable to dismiss someone as talented as Whitney.

She's already done her own assessment of him and interviewed him about his credentials - probably without his knowledge - and according to her, he seemed intimidated. It wouldn't surprise me if he was.

Also! Daniel asked if I wanted to sign up for an elective together next semester! Apparently he is bummed we don't share more classes as well! He really wants to do Film as Literature which sounds amazing except it's, of course, taught by Mike - and Will too, somehow. Don't know how they sprung that but I'm sure they're ecstatic about it.

It sounds so cool, but what's the point of getting to spend more time with Daniel if those two will be watching the entire time? Absolutely not. Maybe I can convince him to take psychology instead. It's not as fun and we won't be able to talk as much, but of course those two would monopolize the arts and literature department.

It's not that Mike has been terrible. Sure, it still sucks to just see him existing around Hawkins, but now he's taken the hint and leaves me alone I can actually focus on class again. He's not a half-bad teacher either.

I just w

Damn, I had to calm Marial down from a nightmare and now I have no idea what I was going to write. That's going to itch at me.

I hope the Stevensons get back soon; I need to catch up on so much sleep. Their guitar isn't in its usual spot in the living room either which is a bummer as I'd been looking forward to playing it again. I was sure I would make it to the chorus this time.

C'est la vie, I guess.

Love, Holly

[innocenthedgehog]

Writeblr Intro

Hello everyone! I'm Tom (he/him), and I decided to join Writeblr to make some more writing friends. I have no idea how any of this works, but let's give this a go and see what happens!

My Writing

I mainly write YA sci-fi, though I'm open to a bunch of other things

I started writing seriously in April 2021, messed around with a few projects, finally finished a first draft in 2022, shelved it, and have been project hopping ever since. But I've finally found a story I have passion for, so here's hoping purgatory is over!

I'm a pantser

I like third-present, first-retrospective, pretty prose, specificity, pulpy action scenes, unique worlds, sympathetic characters, disaster characters, sympathetic disaster characters

WIPs

Beneath the Burning Sky

I call this story Berg for short, after my friend was very mean and called it ice Dune lol. This is my main focus, and a book I hope to traditionally publish someday. I have no idea how much I'm allowed to share with that caveat, so I'll probably avoid major plot things.

Genre: YA sci-fi sapphic romance

Status: Currently drafting, approximately 25K

Description: When they're both stranded in the frozen wilderness by an attack on their planet, Lana (a village hunter) tries to bring Sierra (the president's daughter/rising star of the stage) back home. Rivals to lovers, class conflict, winter survival. Lana may have a long-lasting crush on Sierra from watching her performances on TV. Also sentient flying snake aliens which are very friendly. Mostly. I promise I will write an actual blurb soon lmao

To Dream of Brighter Shadows

This has a very complicated history which I won't go into now, but in it's current form, it's a project I desperately want to write some day. The discovery writing I've done for it so far is by far my best prose.

Genre: Adult literary sci-fi

Status: Discovery writing

Description: A university student struggling with burnout and undiagnosed neurodivergence uses VR cybernetic implants to try and rebuild her old life.

Space Spies

This is entirely vibes right now, but it'll probably be the book I write when Berg's first draft is done.

Genre: YA sci-fi thriller

Status: Brainstorming

Description: Think Cherub/Gallagher Girls in space. May or may not include aliens.

The Ether Cycle

I will not let this distract me.

Genre: Adult? epic fantasy

Status: I will not acknowledge this exists. Though I may have the start of a magic system. And a world. And a conlang.

Description: A world made of floating islands, trees that are impossibly tall, reverse waterfall elevators, magic airships, teleporters, matchlocks? There is no plot.

Can't wait to make some friends here. Please like/reblog/friend me if you like the sound of any of this. I'll be sure to post some WIP intros and some excerpts soon!

[zoeykallus]

Hey Guys!

I just wanted to apologize for not being as active as I usually am. I had a few people ask me what's going on and why I don't publish writings of mine daily anymore. So I thought maybe some of you need an explanation, because to be honest, it's tiring me to answer the same thing again and again in my PM's 😓

At the moment I'm in a kind of struggle phase, mentally as well as financially.

I'm about to lose my best friend and fury family member in the next few days. My dog Cooper has gotten sick in the last few weeks, showing not only weaknesses because of his old age, but he also managed to hurt his leg (while secretly climbing on and off my couch, when I was working), as well as teeth problems that seem to cause him a lot of pain.

It's not easy. I barely make it through a month with what I earn, with all the prices shooting higher while the payment for work keeps staying the same. I sold a lot of my stuff, all my books, blue rays, even parts of my clothing and that little bit of jewelry that I had, to get by. In the last weeks Cooper has struggled so much that I had to sell more to get money for the vet and I had to cut back hours again to care for him, because by now he can barely get up on his feet on his own, to get to his water or food, so I can't leave him alone for long.

As you can imagine it's not easy, my family lives way too far away to help out by watching him. I'm pretty much on my own, at least for now. It's time, I need to get him to the vet and eventually let him go. It hurts like hell, but it must be done, he's not doing good at all right now. Letting my fur baby go after 13 years of unconditional love is a downer, but I don't want him to suffer any longer.

Some may say or think "It's just a dog, get over it" and unfortunately I had even people saying that to my face. I'm not proud of it, but the last person who said this to my face, has a black eye now. My dog was always there in my worst and my best moments, and he never judged, he just loved and was always super happy when I came back from work, or grocery shopping. He was there in the morning to remind me I should go on and not give up on me, in my darkest hours when I really struggled to think of a reason to get up in the morning. I wanted to give up on myself, I thought I was done. But there was Cooper, looking at me with big eyes and I knew I couldn't just leave him behind, he needed me and for a long time that was the only thing giving me purpose, before I relearned that life can be more and better again.

So I wasn't in a good state lately and there wasn't much writing. But I just started another request this evening that will be done in the next few hours. Sometimes it calms me, but there have been moments recently when I felt very, very tired and empty and not in the slightest motivated. Aside from that, I don't get anywhere near enough sleep or nutrition these days to feed my brain enough to work properly. Sorry for that. I will write more again soon.

I didn't forget any of you, nor am I ignoring your asks! I hope you understand and won't be mad or disappointed with me. I'm not gone, just a little slower these days, but it'll get better and more again at some point.

Thanks for reading all this if you did, and thanks for your understanding!

[ninjagirlstar5]

Hello local Teruya enjoyer, mind if i ask why he's one of your favorite characters? As in, what made you so love the little guy turned big guy in sequel so much?

Oh boy. That's kinda hard to answer actually as I essentially worked backwards when I saw Teruya's character. As in, I heard about SDRA2 (and eventually DRA) through WeebyNewz's livestreams, looked at fanfics on AO3, and got to know Teruya's character through there before eventually jumping right in to writing him for my (shipping) project. As a result, my interpretation of him was far from perfect as I knew the broad strokes of his character and his role in both games but didn't know the little details until I went back to really consume DRA and SDRA2's story by actually listening/watching the streams or even playing the game myself. I'm going through SDRA2 right now with a Discord mutual, but it's been put on hold due to college. But since I'm essentially done with my spring semester now (all I have left is a critique for Printmaking but that class is pretty chill thanks to my professor so I'm not worried about it), I'm hoping we'll be able to pick that back up soon-ish. It'll depend on our schedules.

Anyways, back to the question as to why I love Teruya...I've essentially built up an image of him in my head thanks to my many on-the-fly headcanons and what I researched about him. But when I started watching DRA, I noticed he was a sweet, funny but flawed kid that can snap pretty easily at others and can get quite emotional while also taking part in bad actions that get others hurt just to benefit himself (hiding food for himself and plotting to murder Haruhiko being some of them), and being a hypocrite on top of that. But that didn't make me hate him or anything, but made me love him more as he's far from a perfect character, let alone a perfect person. Teruya lashing out, arguing with others, and just struggling to keep up in the killing game, even when he decides to better himself and take after Haruhiko and follow Satsuki's parting words, makes him a very interesting and nuanced character! I loved watching him caring about Yuki in Chapter 5 by checking in on him and being supportive, even when he falls for the obvious framing of Mikako by Monokuma. He still makes mistakes, but the little actions he does for others can make him a good friend that deeply cares. And the way he wondered why Fake!Yuki/Utsuro and Akane just...let them go, even when he agreed with Kinjo and Rei that they were awful, perhaps even evil people, that line made me go, "OH, his feelings are complicated" and that kind of nuance is SO juicy. The feeling of knowing this person has wronged you in a horrible way that you have every right to not only hold them accountable but cut them out of your life but you still miss them anyways because you loved them and the memories you've made with them despite everything? Good shit, more of this please. I like that Teruya has just a slightly different opinion than Rei and Kinjo's, even though he still agrees with them in the end and rightfully so. And I like seeing his slightly more mature personality while still having a few of his quirks and interests in SDRA2 as he felt a little more like an adult version of himself. Teruya is sooo interesting to dig into and analyze that I have a hard time organizing all of my thoughts on the fly but basically, I love him in DRA and SDRA2 and coming up with headcanons for him before, after, and in-between the stories. He's such a fun but sad character when you really think about it.

...Even if it will always annoy me on how underutilized he was in SDRA2. If he was just used a little more smartly and given much more care like in DRA, I feel like his death would've hit much, much harder, even with repeated viewings. Which is a shame cause I do think I can see where LINUJ was trying to go with Teruya, that Teruya was meant to be a character that did his best to help the SDRA2 cast despite being stuck in the killing game together and preventing history from repeating itself, only to be met with repeated failures despite trying to do everything right this time. And was unfortunately put into a position where he had no choice but to die lest the worst case scenario played out, all due to Mikado's plotting, Kinjo's choices, and Rei's mistakes. (They all played a role in it but all of them have different levels of responsibility for it, with Mikado being the biggest one since he's, you know, his murderer and turned Teruya's avatar into a firewall in the first place, but Teruya probably would've have been put into that situation if Kinjo just didn't use him as bait or if they simply had more time for Rei to make another escape code for Teruya to use for himself in case things go south - and that's assuming he was able to prioritize escaping despite witnessing Rei's supposed death.) But unfortunately, as much as I love Teruya, all I can remember from his role in SDRA2 is that he spouted hope platitudes in Chapter 2, started dipping out of the group in Chapter 3 (and it seems like I won't be able to COMPLETE HIS FTEs ACCORDING TO THE WIKI'S GUIDE ON HIS AVAILABILITY GODDAMMIT-), went CrAzYYyy in Chapter 4, and then just disappears and DIES in Chapter 5 and it isn't until Chapter 6 that we learned that Teruya purposely ate the poisoned food to destroy the firewall inside of him, trying to sacrifice himself and hoping it'll give the Kisaragi Foundation the time they'll need to get the rest of the cast out, never finding out that Kinjo hired Syobai to act as a double agent and that he used him and Rei as bait to try and distract Mikado from ever finding out about Syobai's double agent status. I feel as though Teruya was stripped of most of his nuances from DRA, and that frustrates me because I want him to be utilized more in SDRA2! I want to care about his relationship with the cast! I want him to be his own person with his own opinions, even when he agrees with and even looks up to Rei and Kinjo! I want him to have more moments of characterization and hear his stories about the Kisaragi Foundation and his reflection on his past instead of being hit with the amnesia plot point (which I feel did more harm to his character)! I want him to be the mediator of the group, like how he supposedly acted out that role back in the Kisaragi Foundation between Rei and Kinjo according to LINUJ in his concept art! And another reason why I don't like how Teruya is handled in Chapter 4 the more I think about it in hindsight, is that I felt as though LINUJ was trying to have him be like Kinjo. And I! Don't! Like that! Even if Teruya's beliefs started to become warped due to following Kinjo's leadership over the years and may have rose-tinted glasses in his belief in him, I still don't like how LINUJ handled him in Chapter 4! Because I don't want a Kinjo 2.0 that you can get at the dollar store, I want Teruya fucking Otori!!!

...anyways. My issues with how Teruya was handled in SDRA2 aside, I love him a lot. But I'll admit, a lot of that comes from my own interpretation of his character and how much depth I gave him from what I learned of him. And honestly, that's one of the fun parts of fandom: digging into a character to the point that you're probably overanalyzing them but you kinda don't care because it's so much fun to add even more depth to a character you love. He's my blorbo, my scrunkly, my fucked up lil guy turned fucked up big boi, and I can hurt and comfort him however I want.

[yourlocalartsonist]

Heya! I wanted to ask about your fic, "Moths Fly In Packs", that I wanted to know for a while. Forgive me if it was answered or not:

What was your main inspiration for the actual story? Was it just a Rise AU? Did you automatically create Salena for this story? I wanna know the origins of story and what got you writing the first chapter!

Heyyyyy bestie how's it goinnnnn~

Aight so this is actually one of my favorite things to talk about cuz my ass cannot shut up about this fic but it was quite a few things that got mushed together to create the fic

First off, it was originally gonna be a comic! I just got heavily back into Rise after watching the movie in January 2023 and yk the show was cancelled for a while now. I really missed the show and already read through like every headcanon, x reader, and whatever the fuck I could find at the time so to satiate myself, I decided to make a story of my own! That was kinda already the drill for me anyway; if there's a piece of media I adore that never got the love it deserved, I continue the story myself

It was gonna be a comic focused with the boys as the main characters just like the show and would be seen as a continuation. I wasn't planning on releasing it any time soon since ya know... comic but Salena was indeed still gonna be in the story. She was just gonna be a more minor character? Not background, more like on the same level as April or Splintz; pops up often but not always

And then I realized that was a stupid fucking idea cuz no way in hell I would ever survive the torture of making comics :D I don't even enjoy making em for the most part so yk-

I had a different idea on the side. I was thinking it'd be interesting to have a separate fic version of the story but told from Salena's perspective so the audience would understand her more. But then as I kept developing the story, I realized this was the more interesting version anyway! I had a shit ton of ideas and a lot of topics I could critique and commentate on. It was genuinely fucking interesting the more I looked at it, even tho I was hella nervous no one would care for my random ass OC enough to accept them as the main character over the boys-

On a more personal note, I was going through a lot of shit prior to rejoining Rise which made my senior year of high school get a very depressing start. But in a way, watching the movie and the show saved me. Not even exaggerating, this show's done a lot for me than I'll ever be able to express. When I thought about making the fic and settled on it being the story I tell, I wanted to express all my feelings and hardships I've been through. I wanted to explore them through Salena and externalize a lot of the messages I learned and Rise felt like the perfect outlet for that; the characters just genuinely fit

That's the real reason why I had the first chapter out in like a month or two. I wasn't even sure whether to post it, it was entirely an impulse move. But I don't regret it one bit

I really do hope this story find the people I want it to. People who felt just as alone as I did, I want them to know they aren't. There are people out there who understand, who've been through the same, and who've survived and gone onto thriving. I wanted Salena to feel relatable to them since she's quite literally the first character I've made who's truly based off of myself

On the flip side, I also hope it'll reach people who have no idea what I'm talking about and haven't ever experienced what Salena has. I want this story to be an opportunity for them to step into someone else's shoes and learn how to empathize. That was why I loved books as a kid; they helped me learn to empathize. So maybe, my story can do the same. Help people to empathize with folks like Salena who are struggle and have no idea how to say so

Sorry for the long ass ramble. I genuinely do believe the origins of this fic is extremely interesting so I really love talking about it ;w;

Cheers to Chapter 9 finally being out!