#this had GOOD characters and wasn't part of an endless reboot

[somebluenovember]

I’m taking a year’s break of Netflix. In May 2024, if they are still around, I’ll consider this decision, but not before. I deserve better, as a fan, and as an - until now - long time paying customer. 

Fuck Netflix. Fuck it to the bottom of the ocean.

[duhragonball]

JoJolion ch.1

What the--? Part 8? 🪨🍊🍋🍟📱🫧🇯🇵⚕️🏥⚓🪴🤬🦭

So I got into Jojo's Bizarre Adventure in the fall of 2016. I was looking for new anime recommendations, and that one came up, and I eventually got hooked on it. I had a little trouble getting into it at first, so I started posting at least one screencap from each episode to mark my progress. This eventually morphed into a full-on liveblog as I found it harder to keep track of the plot. In 2017, the anime adaptation only went up to Part 4, so I switched over to the manga scanlations. Then I got to Part 8, JoJolion, which was still in-progress.

It was through JoJo's Bizarre Adventure that I hammered out the liveblogging style I use today. So I've never been entirely satisfied with my coverage from 2017. The scanlations of Part 5 were really crappy back then, and so I went back and did it again a year later. I'd occasionally check in with JoJolion to cover the new chapters that had come out, but the story seemed to have no end in sight.

Around that time, @onegamer2envythemall asked me if I'd ever go back and do JoJolion once it was finished and colorized, but that seemed pointless to me at the time. Part 8 felt like it was endless and it was difficult to keep up with the plot when it was being dispensed one chapter per month. I enjoyed the first 66 chapters well enough, because I had the convenience of being able to read them all in a few weeks' time. As it turned out, there were another 44 chapters to go, and when it finally wrapped up in 2021 I wasn't in much of a mood to revisit it.

(This is also why I haven't bothered reading Part 9, JoJoLands. I'm sure it's good, but it's only 14 chapters into the story, and that's barely a prologue by the standards of modern JJBA. It might take Araki a decade to finish Part 9, and I don't think I want to read it until it's done.)

Buuuuuut, I never liked leaving loose ends. I always wanted to finish the liveblog of Part 8, but I also felt like it would be more rewarding to just start over. And that's been an urge in the back of my mind for a while now, and I decided to take care of that now, in May 2024. So if any of you were hoping for this, your wish has been granted.

We'll start off with just chapter 1, since I want to go over some background stuff too while the manga introduces itself. C'mon, let's go.

If you're new to all this, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure is a long-running manga series by Hirohiko Araki. Unlike most popular shonen titles, JJBA doesn't stick to a single protagonist. The first storyline ended with the death of the main character, Jonathan Joestar. Then things continued fifty years later with his grandson, Joseph Joestar. Part 3 featured an older Joseph teaming up with his own grandson, Jotaro Kujo. And so on.

The JoJo Parts generally work pretty well as standalone stories, although there is a shared continuity among them. Part 4 doesn't require you to have read Parts 1-3, but there are characters and lore from those arcs that show up in Part 4. Still, everything is explained pretty well so that new readers can follow along.

Beginning with Part 7, Araki did a sort of "reboot", jumping back to Jonathan Joestar's era but with a different story. In Part 7, "Johnny Joestar is basically an alternate version of Part 1 Jonathan. Instead of getting a degree in archaeology at Hugh Hudson Academy, he grew up in Kentucky and became a successful jockey.

Part 8 is a direct sequel to Part 7, although there's about 120 years between them, so there's not a lot that ties them together. Here's the quick and dirty version of Part 7: Johnny Joestar participates in the "Steel Ball Run", a transcontinental race from San Diego to New York City. But the race is a cover for the main villain to recover the "Saint Corpse", a supernatural relic capable of altering the fortunes of whoever possesses it. During the race, Johnny acquires two unusual powers. His Stand is a manifestation of his own phsyche, while "Spin" is a powerful technique he learns while racing alongside his mentor and friend, Gyro Zeppeli. Johnny loses the race, but he does manage to keep the Saint Corpse out of the wrong hands, with help from Lucy Steele, the wife of the race's organizer. Also, a very minor character named Norisuke Higashikata managed to get second place, and Part 7 ends with Johnny joining him on a boat ride to Europe.

I think that brings us up to speed, so let's get on with this thing.

Not much happens in Chapter 1, except for the two main characters meeting each other for the first time. We start with Yasuho Hirose, a 19 year old college student, living in Morioh, Japan.

The first time I read JoJolion, I didn't understand this introduction to Yasuho's character, but now it seems really obvious. She debuts in the first panel, trying to make a decision. She's already hiding from a boy named Joshuu Higashikata, whom she kissed once, and now he thinks they're lovers. Yasuho is creeped out by Joshuu, and rightfully so, but she isn't sure if it's worth actively hiding just to avoid him.

And this is what Yasuho's all about. She's very thorough about analyzing her options, but she's also rather indecisive. That's not to say she can't make decisions, but she takes a little too long to make them. In this case, she's already hiding, but she's still trying to figure out if that's the right call.

Then she notices a man half-buried in the ground nearby. As she considers this, she reflects on recent events in Morioh. On March 11, 2011, an earthquake hit Japan. This was a real-world event that Araki worked into the fictional events of JoJolion. The fictional town of Morioh was spared the worst of the Tohoku earthquake, and the tsunami that followed it, but the quake did somehow cause a series of "protuberances" to rise up out of the ground.

I've never completely understood what these are supposed to be. The local schoolchildren in Morioh called this the "Wall Eyes", probably in reference to the round holes in the sides, which sort of look like creepy eyes on a giant face. In practical terms it just makes things difficult for the city, as roads and other infrastructure are cut where the Wall Eyes cross. Essentially, the Wall Eyes formed a ridge between the main city of Morioh and the outlying properties along the Pacific coastline.

Is this a thing that can actually happen in real-world earthquakes? I could buy it, since I know sinkholes are thing, and this just seems like the opposite of that. The bigger issue is that I don't understand why the Wall Eyes matter to this story. It's one of the things that I kind of lost track of on my first reading, and I'm trying to keep tabs on it this time around.

For now, the Wall Eyes are only relevant because Yasuho is near one of them when she discovers this guy half-buried at the base of one of them. So now she's faced with another dilemma: Should she help him or not? She hesitates, worrying that he might have a contagious disease, or that he might assault her. Then she notices the bite-shaped wound between his neck and left shoulder, and she calls for help.

The phone call itself is kind of telling, as Yasuho tried to phone the police but somehow dialed the fire department instead. It doesn't matter to her, but it does foreshadow some developments later on. Also, as Yasuho explains the situation to the fire department, she says her name, which is the first time the guy hears it. She might have been reluctant to identify herself in front of him, but the die is cast. She wanted to call for help, but she can't do it anonymously.

Yasuho might have been satisfied with this course of action, helping the man without physically interacting with him, but then he starts to sink into the shallow water pooled around him. So she has to grab him to keep him from being pulled into some hole beneath the Wall Eye. Even as she commits to it, she wonders if she's doing the right thing, but she still hauls him out of danger.

Then, only after the immediate danger is resolved, does Joshuu happen to come by. For a while there, Yasuho had considered calling him over to help, but he was gone, and now he's here. He sees Yasuho lying beside a nude stranger and goes batshit. He thinks he and Yasuho are a couple, and he's so overcome with jealous rage that he picks up a big rock and threatens to kill the stranger and then himself.

Let's make this clear up front: Joshuu sucks. He's the worst. Not just because he's a creep, or because of his stupid looking haircut and clip-on bowtie. No, he also sucks because he's incapable of rational thought. One minute he's weighing fish sausages to see if the manufacturer has swindled him, and the next minute he's trying to kill everything with a rock. He's like the Incredible Hulk with Bruce Banner's body. No, even the Hulk isn't this much of an idiot. I'm sorry, Hulk. I shouldn't have said that.

In case you might be thinking Joshuu actually has genuine feelings towards Yasuho, let me assure you that he does not. When she tries to explain what's happening here, he just shoves her aside so he can focus on the truly important business of random violence.

But the naked man defeats him with ease. Not so much for his own sake, but because he saw Joshuu shove Yasuho away. A mysterious bubble floats up from his body and when it his Joshuu, he suddenly goes blind, and can't line up a good strike with his rock. Our nude hero then punches Joshuu in the gut, causing him to vomit.

The authorities soon arrive to get the naked man to a hospital, and as Yasuho watches them leave, she wonders about his bubble power, and how he ended up in the ground. But mostly, she wonders about his gentials, which she saw while she was saving him. He has four testicles, and Yasuho doesn't know how that can be, or whether she should report this to anyone....