#this got really long hahahah hence the read more

[wendronwitch]

Since I headcanon Beetle and Jenna as ace because I'm ace and they are my faves, can you write them on a date being really awkward until one comes out and the other's like "thank goodness, me too!" Or something close to that? I love your writing btw

The soft afternoon glow lights up the entire shop from where it hits. Jenna and Beetle are sitting by the window of one of the newer cafes, trying out something strange that involves mint-chocolate ice-cream and waffles. Beetle’s hands are shaking a little and it takes everything he has not to pull out an emergency flask of FizzFroot and drink the whole thing at one go.

He’s spending the night at Jenna’s place, or she’s coming over to his. They’d decided that the day before, and he’s looking forward to it in some ways, because it’s Jenna, and they’re going to talk and compare academic notes and discuss history and generally just have fun, but he’s dreading it in others, because Beetle knows what spending the night at your girlfriend’s house entails. 

Sex. 

It’s not that he doesn’t love her, per say, or not that he isn’t attracted to her. Beetle’s just never understood the big deal behind it, has never felt the need to progress beyond gentle kissing with anyone. He doesn’t perceive people like that. He used to feel like there was something about him that was missing, that wasn’t the way it ought to be, until one evening sorting through a stash of books, and he’d found antique prints of a magazine that was called The Asexual. He’d read through a few issues, and he’d nearly cried out of relief. He wasn’t alone in how he felt, and there was nothing wrong with him. 

That doesn’t mean that everyone will understand though. Jenna hasn’t made any moves or any advances, hasn’t suggested anything, but he knows that sex as a topic will come up sooner or later, and he doesn’t know how she will take it.

Jenna as a person is certainly not bigoted. She’s big on social justice, and even though they’re both still very young, people are already talking about her being one of the best Queens in the history of the queendom. At the same time, Beetle is her boyfriend. Being her boyfriend means certain things from him, certain requirements he needs to fulfill. If Jenna wants a sexual relationship, he isn’t going to be able to give it to her, because that isn’t something he can give anyone.

He loves Jenna. He loves her so much he thinks his heart might explode with it sometimes, loves her so much that simply thinking of her makes his bad days a little less bad, loves her so much that he thinks he would survive anything and everything, no matter how rough it’d get, if he had her by his side, however corny that is. He loves Jenna so much that he would put her happiness over his own, even. If he can’t give Jenna what she needs to be happy, he would let her go. 

“Beetle?” Jenna asks. She’s wiping her chin with a napkin, her violet eyes soft and concerned and absolutely mesmerizing in the sunlight. “Are you alright? I think I lost you for a minute there.” 

Beetle could say yes, pretend everything’s alright, wait until they’re both slipping into the same bed at night to do what he’s thinking of as The Grand Reveal. Instead, he sees his chance and shakes his head. 

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he says.  He picks up a waffle and bites it, just for something to do. 

Jenna nods at him to go ahead. 

“I’m asexual,” he says. “I’m absolutely in love with you, but I don’t want us to have sex.” 

Jenna’s eyes widen.

“Not now, not ever,” Beetle goes on to say, mostly to fill the silence, mostly because he doesn’t know what he’s going to do next. “I mean, I’ve never wanted to do that with anyone, you know, and if I did want to have sex with someone it would be you, and I love you so much, but sex as an activity just, doesn’t sound appealing at all, and -”

Jenna gently leans forward, pressing one of her hands against his mouth. Beetle stops talking.

“I feel the same way,” she admits. 

Beetle feels as if his heart has stopped beating. 

“I wasn’t sure if it’d be an always thing, you know,” she says, moving her hand off his face. “I mean, not that I would stop being asexual because I know it’s not a phase or whatever, just that. You know that Sep is demisexual, yeah?” 

Beetle blinks. He had not known that.

Jenna winces. “Thought you knew. Okay, it’s fine, he’s pretty open about it, I don’t think he’d mind you knowing. But for a while I thought, maybe you’d be different. Maybe the longer we spend together, the easier it’d be, to want you in that way. But it hasn’t happened, and I don’t think it’s going to happen.” 

Beetle nods.

“I love you too,” Jenna says, silently, like it’s something sacred. “I love you so much. If it was going to be anyone, it would’ve been you.”

“I know,” Beetle says. “I know.” 

Jenna smiles at him, and Beetle smiles back. 

“I’m glad we spoke about this,” Beetle says, rifling through his pockets to pay the bill. 

“Me too,” Jenna says, a new note of confidence in her voice. Beetle suddenly realises that she’d been just as nervous as he was, for the exact same reason as him. The realisation makes him feel oddly comfortable. They’re in this thing together. 

“Hey, Beetle?” Jenna says, beckoning the waiter over. She tips them generously. 

“Lunch is on me,” she says. 

[kolachess]

DMBJ 2010 Nangongling Interview Translated

I’ve finally (poorly) translated the infamous Nangongling interview with Nanpai Sanshu (aka Xu Lei, author of DMBJ)! 

This is where that famous quote, ‘My lifetime, in exchange for you a decade of innocence and purity’ comes from. More on that here.

Interview Context: First off, in case you don’t already know, NPSS started DMBJ off as a fanfiction. And more on that here. Hence, his style of engagement with fans will be much more direct and why he’s very... knowing of the fandom world. And why the interview does not hesitate to ask about pingxie.

This interview seems to have been conducted somewhere on the internet in 2010 or nearing it. Although I couldn’t find more confirmation on its ‘authenticity’ so to speak, I also haven’t seen anything to the contrary that this might be made up. (Chinese internet is a strange, strange place...)

Here’s the version I’m basing this off of.

Translation Context:

Ok first, I’m a native Chinese speaker, but grew up in the US and not fluent in reading / writing. I am not at all familiar with a lot of idioms, let alone internet slang and pop culture references (of which there are a lot in this interiew), so there will be a lot of guessing. Anyone who knows better, free free to point it out.

Text Legend:

Parenthesis indicate actions / reactions. E.g. (smiles awkwardly)

[TN: ...] are my notes

[??? some words ???] indicate major uncertainty in translations

== or =w= and such symbols are emojis from the interviewer

Original text sometimes had random forward slashes in between what seems should be one word / term. My guess is it might be to skirt censorship?

Names Context:

They use a lot of different ways to refer to the various characters and NPSS

The interviewer calls NPSS ‘Your Majesty’ or ‘Sanshu’ a lot. But Sanshu can also refer to Wu Sanxing... so it gets confusing a bit.

Zhang Qiling can be anything from Menyouping to Pingzi to Lao Meng to Meng... just... anytime there’s ‘Meng’ or ‘Ping’ or ‘Zhang’ it’s safe to assume they’re referring to ZQL.

Wu Xie is often just Wu Xie or Tianzhen

Nangongling is the name of the interviewer

Interviewer:

Interviewer: Your Majesty, come interview. After this, we’ve got to sleep.

NPSS: OK. Let’s go. Be gentle.

Interviewer: Oh Your Majesty, you’re so shy.

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, is DMBJ ultimately a tragic or happy ending?

NPSS: For some, a tragedy. For some, a regular drama. For some, a comedy. For some, an absurdity.

Interviewer: That’s no different from not answering! ==

NPSS: But that’s the correct answer.

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Interviewer: What’s the relationship between Tianzhen and ‘It’? Your Majesty, care to give a spoiler? ==

NPSS: No relationship. [TN: ‘No relationship’ and ‘No problem’ are the same phrase, hence the subsequent answer.]

Interviewer: Then go ahead and tell us. =w=

NPSS: No relationship.

Interviewer: … No relationship?

NPSS: Yup. No relationship.

Interviewer: … ==

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Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu about the plan for DMBJ, when might you finish it?

NPSS: 2010.

NPSS: The problem is…

Interviewer: What?

NPSS: There is an unexpected situation.

Interviewer: Don’t give us cliffhanger sentences. Just tell us. ==

NPSS: Maybe [??? Something about being possessed ???]. I might work on it till 2050.

Interviewer: Hey!

NPSS: It’s great.

Interviewer: Might as well make it a Gundam series. [TN: Gundam is referring to the Japanese anime series. I guess they’re making a joke about how he should turn it into a never ending universe / entire franchise.]

NPSS: Conan never grows up. Wu Xie will never get old either. [TN: Conan is referring to Detective Conan, another Japanese anime series.]

NPSS: Even when you all become old, Wu Xie in the book will still be pursuing the answer to all the mysteries.

Interviewer: And if it’s with Lao Meng forever mutually loving and caring, then we have no objections.

NPSS: Fifty years, Golden Wedding  [TN: Think he’s referring to Golden Wedding as the 50th anniversary].

Interviewer: Yes, yes. Don’t know if there will be a son. (Tea) (Silence) [TN: I guess the actions indicate ‘sipping tea awkwardly in silence’]

Interviewer: Alright, His Majesty has become shy. Let’s continue onto the next question.

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Interviewer: If we may ask what the Menyouping’s ending will be? Will he find his memories? Continue to live on? Your Majesty can’t because of Classmate 370 [TN: Rumors are this is NPSS’s classmate? Potential prototype for ZQL? See ref.] once scorned your [??? finger ???], you end up holding a grudge?

NPSS: Whether or not you can ‘fujoshi’ for 50 years is uncertain. [TN: Word is ‘fu’, which literal = ‘rotten’; but refers to fujoshi. AKA he’s questioning how long they’ll ship pingxie for.]

Interviewer: No worries. In the future, there will appear a lot of Li Yinhe grannies. [TN: Seems to refer to this LGBTQ activist.]

NPSS: Hands / feet have not fallen off, OK? [TN: I’m not sure what this is referring to lol. Maybe some play on the rotten nature of fujoshi.]

Interviewer: Hands / feet… the whole body?

NPSS: The meaning of ‘entirely not fallen off’ is ‘entirely not fallen off’. [TN: Idk I’m lost...]

Interviewer: … ==

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your resentment for 370 is too deep…

NPSS: Menyouping’s ending will definitely surprise you all. It’s definitely not something that can be conceptually considered at all.

Interviewer: Could it be that he really will be mutually loving and caring with Tianzhen? == It’s not in concept…

NPSS: Hn. That’s a nice thought. [TN: Tone reads a little like ‘ha, as if’.]

NPSS: Like, turn him into a woman or something. Or is it Wu Xie who turns into a woman?

NPSS: “Actually, I’m a flat-chested Mary Sue.” [TN: Lol, yes. They refer to Mary Sue omg.]

Interviewer: … hey now… == Speaking of Mary Sues, after Yun Cai is it Xiu Xiu? Your Majesty, you wouldn’t gift Yun Cai to Lao Meng, and Xiu Xiu to Wu Xie, right? ==

NPSS: Maybe I’ll write Lily stories. [TN: I think Lily stories refers to femslash / stories between two females.]

NPSS: Don’t underestimate my pervertedness.

Interviewer: I’ve never underestimated it… (serious)

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Interviewer: If we may ask what Sanshu’s current weight is? Are you losing weight? Hahahah (Hands akimbo)

NPSS: Now it’s probably a little less than 200 jin. [TN: ~220 pounds.] I’m always in the middle of losing weight, but fat really likes me.

Interviewer: Your Majesty, you should continue to make effort to cosplay Pangzi.

NPSS: I think I will exceed Pangzi’s category soon, cosplay a huge monster instead.

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Interviewer: When will the DMBJ movie be released? Who will play Pingzi? To be honest, I don't want to watch. ==

NPSS: Probably around 2015. I don’t know. Hope it’s not [??? black people ???]. [TN: Yeah that’s what it says, but idk if it’s a reference to type of personalities or it actually is referring to skin color. Wouldn’t surprise me if it were a racist remark. China, sigh.]

Interviewer: Could it be there really will be a movie?

NPSS: Probably.

Interviewer: In America?

NPSS: I can’t say I understand / know Hollywood’s situation.

Interviewer: So it’s America… (Tears running) Too tragic!

NPSS: Hei Xiaoge [TN: Lol I think he’s saying a black young lad] is also not bad.

Interviewer: No! No! No!

NPSS: A-ning has already been designated the female lead by a foreign scriptwriter.

Interviewer: Oooh ~~~ We don’t want to see ghosts ~~~ [TN: Idk what this expression is…]

NPSS: Little D might be able to accept. [TN: Idk who Little D is… might just be a slang way of writing ‘little brother’, in which case, I still don’t know if that’s referring to himself or someone else.]

Interviewer: I guess he will squeak along with me. [TN: Again… I’m lost.] Nope cannot anymore. Next question.

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Interviewer: Will there be romance?

NPSS: [??? Eloquent love ???] will have porn scenes.

Interviewer: … who and who?

NPSS: Not sure yet. One party should not be human.

Interviewer: Heavy tastes, Your Majesty.

NPSS: Tentacles.

Interviewer: …… Your Majesty, are you playing some XXOO games recently? [TN: I’m just gonna assume some hentai shit here.]

NPSS: Nope. Haven’t played in a long time. Got any good suggestions?

Interviewer: [??? The imperial doctor has ghost glasses ???] [TN: Guess it’s the title?] Try it (rubs hands).

NPSS: I’m currently still holding out strong.

Interviewer: Gee… what a pity.

NPSS: You can train your boyfriend.

Interviewer: He’s already very calm.

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Interviewer: Pingzi is so good to Wu Xie, any particular reason? I mean deep underlying reason? For example, knowing the truth about Wu Xie’s life / existence or something. Or being entrusted by Wu Xie’s family or something. Or he thinks he’s brought Wu Xie harm and wants to redeem himself or something.

NPSS: Just doesn’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Huh? What?

NPSS: Don’t want to disturb.

Interviewer: Disturb what?

NPSS: Tianzhen Wu Xie [TN: Remember, this means ‘innocent, naive, and pure’]. The prompt is very deep now. [TN: Sounds like he’s saying he’s given a deep hint now.]

Interviewer: Oh (Actually someone who doesn’t really understand). [TN: GLAD I’M NOT ALONE! IT’S NOT A TRANSLATION ISSUE!]

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Interviewer: Are there new Lunar New Year Celebratory Extras this year? [TN: NPSS writes occasional extras, and often will publish on special occasions like Lunar New Year.]

NPSS: 2010’s publishing work was too heavy. Can’t celebrate. I even wrote the outline already.

Interviewer: That’s such a pity. What about Tibetan Sea Flower. I’m still waiting for the lama that has JQ with Lao Meng. [TN: They use the term JQ here… seems like slang for something like bromance.]

NPSS: Ah little living Buddha… probably can’t write. [TN: Yeah idk what that really means…] Due to religious issues, living Buddha’s chrysanthemum is very sensitive. Huge crawling creatures will come and bombard. [TN: IDK BUT CHRYSANTHEMUMS ARE OFTEN EUPHEMISMS FOR THE ANUS AND GAY BUTT SEX SO IDK.]

Interviewer: Hey… ==

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Interviewer: Qinling Sacred Tree arc was too mysterious. Will Sanshu later be connected to the Sacred Tree? If so, how will you do it? I think DMBJ is not as thrilling / exciting as before. Can you still return to that previous style?

NPSS: There are no plans at present to connect Qinling. I need to settle Meng first. The core of what’s being written is his business. The excitement of DMBJ is not found in the novel but in the heart of the reader. The reader will upgrade / improve while reading.

Interviewer: Is that so… (Eats late night food) [TN: Idk what this expression means.]

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Interviewer: Will you still publish new books and dig new plot holes? == Besides this official vest of Nanpai Sanshu, do you have anything else? Like diving party? == [TN: Yeah idk what that means…]

NPSS: Doesn’t returning to the original style of writing offer you some thrilling / excitement? Your heart has already upgraded, it’s just that the novel is still like that.

Interviewer: Heart! ==||| [TN: Yes, this is another face lol]

NPSS: There’s still some more. Like Nangongling. [TN: Name of the interviewer, but I have no idea what this means.]

Interviewer: The watch drags me underwater. [TN: I got nothing *shrugs*.]

NPSS: Actually are we answering our own questions?

Interviewer: Haha, fun right?

NPSS: Indeed. Could it be a split personality? Never thought my hidden personality is a Fujoshi. Tragedy.

Interviewer: Hey I didn’t say my hidden personality was a perverted uncle yet. (Two bored idiots stare in silence for a few seconds) 

Interviewer: Enough. Next.

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Interviewer: Pingzi’s age… is it ‘uncle’ or ‘grandpa’? Anyway, I know it’s not ‘brother’. [TN: They’re referring to which generation basically.]

NPSS: Taizu Grandfather [TN: Basically hella old… great-great-great-great-great-grandfather?]

Interviewer: Wow… paleontology relic?

NPSS: Age must be in the triple digits.

Interviewer: Old monster! I like it! Just afraid that next to Tianzhen, he seems younger (talking to self)

NPSS: Tianzhen is even older. Quadruple digits.

Interviewer: Really is younger? ==

NPSS: They all end up in the museum display.

Interviewer: Does it cost anything to visit? Museums are now free / open to visit.

NPSS: After hour events charge fees. There are special programs, but the TV station will not allow them to be broadcasted.

Interviewer: Strip tease / dancing?

NPSS: No. It’s the old monster [TN: Probably referring to ZQL]  performing Xiangsheng [TN: Some Chinese duo comedy schtick]. Xie Ling [TN: I think this is Wu Xie + Zhang Qiling?] social / not-famous Xiangsheng actors.

Interviewer: Looks like it will be Two-Person Turn Opera [TN: Idk if there is an English term for this… but another type of skit it seems.]

NPSS: Wear the dancing shoes. [TN: I think it’s just this?]

Interviewer: … It’s so cold… Your Majesty…

NPSS: Zhang Wenling, Wu Wenxie [TN: Lol I guess this would be their comedy stage names. It’s extra / intentionally stupid because all he did was insert ‘wen’ which means ‘literature’.]

Interviewer: Enough… Don’t worry about this anymore. I’m gonna move onto the next question.

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Interviewer: Is Wu Xie the most tragic character in the entire novel? Is it inevitable that, between him and Pingzi, one of them will have to die in the end?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s fate as the most tragic is a set tragedy, but Lao Zhang doesn’t have it easy either.

Interviewer: And then?

NPSS: Delayed the inevitable tragedy.

Interviewer: And then they encountered tragedy together?

NPSS: Using [his] own lifetime to exchange you another decade of innocence and purity.

Interviewer: … (wailing) (too stunned) Lao Meng [??? became the Virgin Mary???] (smashes wall)

NPSS: I also want to get a cult.

Interviewer: Does Lao Meng really not have a crush on Tianzhen? It can’t continue like this. DMBJ is still a serious / proper drama after all.

NPSS: Nah. It’s serious / proper.

Interviewer: But what you said is crooked.

NPSS: Alright. Then let’s put it this way.

Interviewer: How?

NPSS: Comrade Zhang Qiling sacrificed his own time to save and prevent the disillusionment of a youth who was about to go astray. [TN: Yeah… not too sure about the implications of this.]

Interviewer: …. Your Majesty, you [??? use soulmates ???] [TN: I’m really not sure about this… context and definitions I found seems to indicate it’s a soulmate like thing, but also used kind of queerbaity?]

NPSS: I’ve been working real closely with soulmate recently.

Interviewer: We can tell. Next question. Best leave some room for free thought.

NPSS: It’d be fine if you just don’t post it.

Interviewer: This is iron proof of JQ! [TN: Again, some internet slang for bromance / malexmale CPs or something.]

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Interviewer: Are all the incomprehensible things that happened so far man-made? Or will it be explained by the supernatural?

NPSS: There’s nothing incomprehensible.

Interviewer: Probably in reference to Qinling.

NPSS: Oh. Doesn’t that count as a spoiler?

Interviewer: … then let’s skip again. Actually, I thought you already forgot about Qinling.

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Interviewer: What is Pangzi’s little secret?

NPSS: Xiao Pang’s [TN: Little Fat’s] tragic past.

Interviewer: What… Pangzi is also quite tragic.

NPSS: Probably a ‘fought with his best friend over a woman and was hurt very badly’ kind of relationship.  Pangzi had a very simple but tragic love.

Interviewer: Sad…. == You really can’t tell…

NPSS: A woman he promised to take care of for a lifetime and a brother he can’t help but save.

Interviewer: Pangzi has sublimed (victory fist] [TN: I assume ‘sublime’, which literally means converting from solid directly to gas, is just representative of a massive promotion or rise into awesomeness.]

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Interviewer: I’m always thinking of Ershu’s mysterious air. Does he know a lot of things that others don’t? I also want to know what Wu Xie’s dad does.

NPSS: [??? Location scouting ???]

Interviewer: Ershu?

NPSS: He knows some.

Interviewer: Then what about his dad.

NPSS: Location scouting. Totally innocent. Just like Jesus’s old man.

Interviewer: What kind analogy is that… == Next.

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Interviewer: Hey Sanshu, on Dec 9, 2009 at 02:58 in the morning I dreamt of you. Did you dream of me? …. == Your Majesty, your fans [TN: Yeah idk.]

NPSS: That night I seem to have pulled an all-nighter. I wouldn’t mind dreaming again tonight.

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Interviewer: Will Pingzi eventually return to being a normal human? Live on from the age of 18? Has he had a lover / children before? Yun Cai? Is Pangzi the boss or the person coming to supervise the boss (Tianzhen)?

Interviewer: Lao Meng… I’ve long since been speechless towards him. By the way, was he always this kind of stone in the latrine? [TN: I guess a saying about how he’s stuffy and expressionless per usual.]

NPSS: No. It used to be really bad.

Interviewer: …How bad…

NPSS: Like a Tibetan horse. [TN: Lol this is the literal translation but when I Googled it, Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho came up and hahaha I guess it kind of makes sense as an analogy?]

Interviewer: Your Majesty, your definition of really bad is Kurama’s level huh…= =|| So he wasn’t born latrine stone… [TN: Ok, so background on Kurama - an infamous fox demon thief escaped into the body of a newborn child because his spirit was weakened after being hunted, and so he cohabits the body with this boy… I’m not entirely sure of the reference jousting here.]

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Interviewer: What happens to Pangzi in the end?

NPSS: Dies of old age.

Interviewer: How mundane!

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Interviewer: We want to know when DMBJ 7 will be finished?

NPSS: 3/15-20 complete.

Interviewer: (Recommends to everyone not to believe… ==)

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Interviewer: Sanshu, will someone die at the end of DMBJ? (Alright I only care about MengMeng and Tianzhen and believe Pangzi will definitely not be killed off). Also, just how many volumes will there be?

Interviewer: How many die, I also want to know. [TN: Lol they also use the counter word not for humans, but… something else?].

NPSS: There will be someone half-dead. Because it’s a grave-robbing novel, dying completely will never happen. A-ning died and still comes around often, right? [TN: Lol I’m not entirely sure what this is in reference to… first part he’s making a joke that people can become zombies, but second part… I don’t really recall A-ning coming back? Unless he means in mentions? Then again I’m still making my way through the novels.] Just that you go from hero to villain. I still haven’t decided how many to kill off. Anyways for the last volume, with the exception of Wu Xie, [??? anyone can be killed ???].

Interviewer:  …Just kill everyone why don’t you; it’s easier. (self-destruct) ==

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Interviewer: May we ask Sanshu, will Pingzi have emotional drama in the future?

NPSS: No. No time / effort for that, and communication skills are limited.

Interviewer: Ahaha….

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Interviewer: Normally, will Sanshu come check out our Tieba? [TN: Kind of like Chinese reddit I believe?] Do you know the Warm Fox? [TN: I did a quick search, seems like a big fandom name that interprets a lot of the DMBJ stuff.]

NPSS: Don’t know.

Interviewer: As expected…

NPSS: It’s your husband?

Interviewer: Hey don’t involve me in everything. (Flips table)

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Interviewer: Just out of personal interest… I really want to know if Xie Lianhuan likes Wenjin?

NPSS: Uh, yes. Very much so.

Interviewer: Then what about Wu Sanxing?

NPSS: Also likes her.

Interviewer: So it turns out to be a crime of passion… (awakened)

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Interviewer: Is Yun Cai just an inconsequential character? Those Huo family Forbidden Ladies won’t have some sort of emotional development with Pingxie, right? [TN: It does say Huo family Forbidden Ladies… I guess they might be referring to Huo Xiu Xiu, but not sure why there’s multiple. Also, recall that the Forbidden Lady is that tomb creature.]

NPSS: Huo family really did become Forbidden Lady professional household [TN: Maybe like a ‘firm’?]. Yun Cai’s ending is also quite tragic.

Interviewer: Indeed. If transmigrating, don’t transmigrate into DMBJ. [TN: Transmigrate is the common c-drama trope where someone in modern times / average suddenly wakes up in the body of some one in the past or something.] Female beings all have no good outcome.

NPSS: If you’ve already died once, then there’s no need to be afraid.

Interviewer: Oh yeah, will that pink-shirt show face again? (Xlaugh) [TN: Idk this expression, but I think pink-shirt is referring to Xiaohua.]

NPSS: Yes. [??? Young Lord of Solutions ???] Grave-Robbing Prince.

Interviewer: Ahhhhh~~great~~~ >///<~~ The Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???], right? … Then Xiao Hei [TN: Hei Xiazi / Hei Yanjing] also has a role?

NPSS: Yup.

Interviewer: The descendants of the Old Nine Gates [??? Admirals ???] are nine golden men? =w=

NPSS: One isn’t. 8 men. 1 woman.

Interviewer: The female is Huo family Forbidden Lady, right?

NPSS: Yup. Counting her.

Interviewer: So that means Tianzhen still has 7 in his harem… Damn, catching up to Cracked Pot’s bunch of shiny guardians. [TN: Idk what that is in reference to.]

NPSS: Cracked Pot? What’s that? [TN: Yay I’m not the only one!]

Interviewer: Cough Cough. Your Majesty, you don’t need to know.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Will Sanshu come to Nanning for an autograph session?

NPSS: Nanning? Need a Nanning bookstore to invite me.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: If we may ask Lao San [TN: Still referring to NPSS], from Wu Xie’s (or Pangzi’s) perspective, where does Menyouping stand? Just a ‘person who stands on our side’? [TN: Refers to when ZQL told them he was a person on their side.]

NPSS: Now it should be like a son’s role / part.

Interviewer: What? Son? ==

NPSS: A very promising son.

Interviewer: Is Wu Xie having the ‘My son has grown up’ old mother mentality?

NPSS: Not really. More like, my son has bad memory or something.

Interviewer: Wu Xie he is indeed [??? person wife ???] [TN: Uh... term used was 人\妻 which when Googled had the first link to pornhub lol. But I think the slang used is actually this.]

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: In Sanshu’s day to day, how often does you use code words? Or is it scrunching your feet and thinking on it for a month or two before coming up with something? [TN: I think they’re referring to Sanshu as in NPSS and not Wu Sanxing Sanshu?]

NPSS: It’s usually simultaneously [??? buckling ???] and eating and typing.

Interviewer: Does it taste good?

NPSS: Often get stomachaches.

Interviewer: …Very toxic huh…

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: Can you fill the bit plothole of Sanshu’s storytelling? Your Majesty, do you have any filled pits? == (Hides face)

NPSS: I promised my father I would fill them before he turns 70. 

NPSS: [??? New Year’s Eve pieces ???]

Interviewer: How old is his esteemed Majesty’s father?

NPSS: 60.

Interviewer: …. (speechless)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: What kind of person is Wu Xie’s mother?

NPSS: Wu Xie’s mother is probably a strong / great woman.

Interviewer: I think so too.

NPSS: Beautiful but strict and fierce, which is why Dad is rather pathetic / a good-for-nothing.

Interviewer: Queens are great. Queens usually marry good-for-nothings. [TN: The ‘queen’ here is literally ‘female king’, so more implies a female ruler.] ==

Interviewer: In the end, did Wu Xie inherit his dad’s genes?

NPSS: Wu Xie also has a very dark personality.

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

NPSS: I’m nearly at my limit…

Interviewer: Same here… (sleepy)

※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※

Interviewer: If we may ask Sanshu, if excluding psychological factors, in terms of human nature, do you think Pingxie is suitable?

NPSS: I think, the two of them together. Neither can earn money. Parents on both side would not agree.

Interviewer: Can it not be one steals and the other sells stolen goods?

NPSS: At the very least, Wu Xie needs to get admitted to a civil service position. [TN: These are stable job positions lol]

Interviewer: Looks like Lao Meng eats soft rice! [TN: A saying that refers to men who lives off of women lol. Basically that the woman supports the man instead of the expected vice versa.]

NPSS: And also will need to buy a house in Hangzhou.

Interviewer: … Too realistic… == [TN: Lol no joke this is exactly how couples get ‘permission’ to marry each other by the families… Hangzhou housing prices are not cheap either. I was born there and visit often… those prices have gone uuuuuuup.]

(And the two are dozing off)

NPSS: Let’s end it. I can’t hold on anymore.

Interviewer: Ok…

(The physically / mentally exhausted two rolled off to sleep, interview unfinished… ==)

~ End Interview

Whew that was a long ride. NPSS is such a troll lol... 😅I don’t know nearly enough Chinese slang / internet speak to parse this properly, but the general gist is there.

[sadviper]

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Succumbing to peer pressure, haha, thank you @rain-hat, @smylealong, @ibelongtomousse, @macgyver-sheriff, @avauntus for tagging me~

It seems the common refrain is that this was the year everyone exploded into massive creative productivity after years of nothing, which is the exact same story for myself. I had read all the strategies of course: write 5 min a day, 1 sketch a day, don’t think about quality, do *something* just to keep the spark alive, etc etc, but it just got worse and worse. Honestly, I had been feeling so dire about it that I had made up my mind to stop trying anymore, because it was so depressing to try and fail so many times that it was much better to not hope at all.

Buuuuut.....then quarantine and telework happened, and woooah, guess what, all I needed was LOTS of time and space to myself where I’m not wasting it in an office checking emails and doing random training to fill all the downtime!!!

Much thanks to the serendipity that had me stumbling into @rain-hat , reading her early JY/KSR fics, and her encouraging me to go ahead and write that office yearly budget oneshot for TKEM (who writes BUDGET fics?? Who reads them???? lol). That’s not in my list here because it was very new and awkward, it was definitely the ball that got everything rolling.

Cut for super long-winded rambling:

1) Before There Was Zero (TKEM)

This was my first big fanfic in my life, and my most popular, and it absolutely gushed out of me in this massive torrent of *I MUST WRITE* where I would walk around at lunchtime giggling to myself, and type on my phone as I went, or wake up at 1am to scrawl something in a notebook in the dark because I couldn’t stop the words from coming. (How I miss that feeling now! ;__;) Actually, it also is the 2nd fully complete long-form story I had ever completed as well, so...lots of milestones here.

Looking back, it clearly was the product of my years of bottled up silence, where I stewed and dragged myself to the office every day wondering if I was going to calcify in a bureaucracy for the rest of my life (yes). But even as an office drone, I learned a lot of valuable lessons in how to manage, what leadership actually is at the worker bee level, the types of games white-collar workers play, and how to be a decent co-worker (and by extension, a decent human being--I don’t believe it’s possible to separate work life and private life. All your personas are you). It wasn’t all a waste after all!

Somehow I connected my day-to-day to the faceless, long-suffering Royal guardsmen in TKEM, headed by the utterly gorgeous, devastating, thoroughly underutilized, comedic prop military action star Jo Yeong, and thought--yeah! :D

2) Nil Desperandum (TKEM)

My biggest fic by far, full novel length at this point, massive in scope, I don’t even know how I came up with it based on the 10 collective seconds of screen time that Jeong Tae-ra and tyrant Jin got as a joke, but I was clearly still on that dam-gushing-pent-up-creative-high because this idea was fighting me when I was in the middle of writing “Before There Was Zero”.

I actually figured out the title while watching “Call the Midwives” where one of the peppy, indefatigable British nurses said to never despair, and I thought, yes, that’s it. All the horrible things I put my tyrantverse characters through, it was only so that when I save them at the end, it will be completely worth it. It’s a bit more violent (nothing beyond My Country levels tho) and quite emotionally dark, but I also tried to inject a lot of friendship, humor, and love into it as well, because there must always be hope.

For My Country fandom friends who didn’t realize, the tyrant!Yeong in this fic is essentially modernAU!Seon-ho, and I lifted Sung-rok entirely from My Country to be tyrant!Yeong’s second-in-command and loyal-superstar-extraordinaire. Writing them in this modern AU, and seeing the positive reception to Sung-rok’s grouchy, dogged devotion was the start of my love spiral for Sung-rok. <3 <3

3) The Veritable Records of King Taejo (My Country)

Going to cheat and lump 3 fics (soon to be 4) into one link. I rested a little bit after “Nil Desperandum” because I had completely emptied myself out at that point, just a husk of an author shell. Then I started poking out oneshots! Each one got progressively harder to write, lol, the creative gas tank was running out of juice, so I had to really start figuring out new strategies as a writer to keep going. One magic tool was coercing recruiting @rain-hat to beta for me, and WOW, THE BEST???? Who would’ve thought it’d be FUN to be edited!!! <3 Due to her efforts, I could avoid the “no beta we die like Liaodong” tag, hahaha.

I grew up watching cop shows, lawyer shows, monster-of-the-day shows, endless procedurals-- so I was super miffed that the drama would imply that Seon-ho spent YEARS just single-mindedly chasing private armies??! No! I want more family and friends development for this sad, dramatic whump child! I want him to be smarter than the show, inherently brilliant despite the stupid he descends into, and be recognized as such by the people who do recognize his value! And I want them all to be happy with no pointless death!

Also, the 4th WIP is now a Sung-rok lovefest written as an ode to his awesomeness, has stretched to 47K+ words, and is being an absolute royal pain to finish. ;__; All the ease and creative fervor from earlier? GONE. I’m a lone salmon flopping upstream on a ladder. I might get eaten before I finish laying my eggs. Any one have tips to get over this?

4) First Translation of Woo Do Hwan Japanese Interviews

More firsts! So much thanks to @ibelongtomousse to inspiring and encouraging me to do some real translating after talking to her about her sublime TKEM fics and translations thereof, and @staidwaters from emerging from the Internet depths to boost/correct my neophyte efforts! I’m now chomping at the bit to do more, even though I may ultimately discover that these interviews have absolutely nothing interesting to say, lol. But my first priority is simply to get better at the language, and 2nd priority is to soak in the words (and photos) of Woo Do Hwan, hahahah. Also, as far as I can tell, no one is filling this niche, so I guess I’ll keep going??

5) Fanart!

I started drawing again! As a procrastination tactic from writing oneshots, but it still was really nice to see that I hadn’t lost the touch entirely. I feel like I’ve mentioned this here and there, but writing wasn’t my first interest--drawing was. Animals first, then people once I discovered anime/manga. I went all into drawing comics, only to face the hard reality that I didn’t know how to tell a story end-to-end. Hence how I started trying to write. Along the way, things happened--I got RSI and had to stop drawing/writing for awhile. I discovered that pictures are NOT worth a thousand words, esp when it comes to long-form comics; my preferred tools of trade (dip pens) ended up exacerbating my RSI problems; then once I got a handle on my RSI, I found I could type faster than I can ever draw, and so here I am. I saw what @convenientalias was doing with their My Country werewolf fic though, so I am excited to try that for my Sung-rok WIP? :D

I think I’m the last hold out among artist/writer friends in answering this wrap-up, hope you enjoyed reading!

[feelingfolegandros]

Day 2,3,4, - Wednesday, October 28 - Friday, October 30 2020

Apparently I’m a masochist, because I scheduled two client sessions for my second day back. Well, technically they scheduled themselves that day, but I blame myself for opening my calendar up so soon. Oh well, c’est la vie! I am blessed to have work! Especially work that doesn’t really feel like work. And really, the most lovely people somehow want to work with me, so that feels great. 

The first one was at 9:30am, and I thought I’d do it in my bedroom, because I have a little desk setup in here that is something in between a coffee table and a side table with a very loungey chair with pillows to cushion my butt.. I love it. However, the internet in this room doesn’t always love me. The connection in this particular room isn’t so stable, and it was making it difficult to have a flowy conversation with my client. After moving into the main room where B.W. was working away on her laptop (we’ve joked that it’s our coworking space), I couldn’t concentrate... When I have a one-on-one session, I really need total silence and privacy otherwise it kind of all goes to shit haha...I decided to ask my client to reschedule and she happily obliged. Phew! We had our proper session the following morning (Thursday) and it went well. 

On Thursday, I turned on TV in the living room/ coworking space for the first time and someone’s Spanish Netflix account was still logged in. Score! Not because I need to use a Netflix account (My Dad pays for a shared family account, thank you very much), but because I didn’t have the patience to figure out how to log in or type in my Dad’s email with the freaking TV remote. I gleefully watched Season 4 Episode 1 of Keeping Up with The Kardashians while lying down on the couch eating pasteli (I think that’s what they’re called.. It’s these Greek snacks made of sesame seeds and honey). I don’t think I’ve seen this season before… But it takes place c. 2009 or so when Khloé has her whirlwind romance with Lamar Odom and they get married about a month after they first start dating. Honestly… iconic. I found myself drawing parallels between Khloé and myself. The situation with my boyfriend also feels like quite a whirlwind although I’m not expecting a proposal nor a wedding anytime soon. However, I can’t say I haven’t already fantasized about our Big Fat Greek Beach Wedding, possibly held at the same taverna we met at. 

On Wednesday night, I went for a solo walk in the early evening in Chora. I love being alone here. I spent a lot of time alone on Folegandros when I came for the second time from mid-September to early October. Later, Z.X. came over, mostly because he forgot his phone charger. He ate too much and was a bit stressed about some things regarding his house (which he is renovating himself) so I made him a mint tea. The next morning (Thursday), I discovered we had fresh mint in the garden! So lucky! The mint made an appearance later the same day when I brought a bunch of it to my friend C.D.’s house. He is the brother of the bride of the wedding where Z.X. and I met. I met C.D. at the taverna he works at in the summer alongside his sister. They’re both amazing and funny and warmhearted. C.D. basically lives next door to B.W. and I, and we both paid him a visit - bundle of mint in tow. He boiled water in a traditional Greek coffee contraption for our tea, and we all drank our beverages outside, even though it rained earlier that day. He made himself a freddo espresso with milk. 

C.D. worked in IT in Athens for much of his life, but moved here at the end of January for a fresh start, away from city life. The four of us - the two Greeks Z.X., C.D., and the two Berliners B.W. and I all moved here for the same reason this year… Very interesting! It’s nice to be around people that are all still enthusiastic about the island. Some OG locals, ie. those who were born and raised here, are a little more jaded after the decades they’ve been here. Living somewhere, anywhere, long enough, you’re bound to find things about it that irritate you, even if you live on an island where each beach you go to is more beautiful than the next. 

Today is Friday. Z.X. proposed we go to the beach today, so he picked B.W. and I up around 13h. Before that, we put a load of laundry in and I took the garbage we’ve accumulated over the past couple of days to the bins near the bus stop. (It’s important to note that the plumbing here on Folegandros like much of Greece, is not that robust, so you’re not supposed to flush paper down the toilet. So most people put their used toilet paper in a bin. Hence, part of the reason why we had accumulated two medium-sized bags of garbage in a few days.) I realized on my way back home that there were bins much closer to the house. Another too-late realization was that the shortcut I took on the way there cut through a sheep’s / goat’s pasture. I did notice some poop as I was walking through, but I didn’t think much of it at the time. Are goats chill? I have no idea… I won’t take the risk again, and I also noticed two locals taking the official shortcut which doesn’t involve shuffling over two waist-height concrete walls… It involves using makeshift ladders to scale them! 

Back to the beach! This time, we went to Livadi beach near the port. While B.W. was gleefully swimming parallel to the shore, Z.X. and I were standing about ankle-deep in the water. Suddenly, we felt the submerged sand below us slowly, surreally shift. (Too many “s” words, but I’m leaving it… hahahah) I’m not sure who mentioned it first, but we soon concluded it must have been an earthquake. It reminded me of the only other time I felt one - just over a decade ago when I worked in a giant office building one summer. To me, it felt like a strange tear in the time-space continuum, a strange physical and existential headache, and like techtonic plates below were shifting (which I guess they technically are). Anyway, Z.X. and I got out of the water, more in awe than afraid, and he called one of his friends, who also felt it, and experienced it as dizziness. He checked his phone and there was indeed a 6.6 earthquake further north in Greece. On Samos, two teenagers lost their lives, and in neighbouring Turkey, there were more deaths and injuries as part of the country experienced a tsunami. 

Z.X. and I planned to see each other next on Saturday night, but he called me later on Friday saying that Ireni’s Restaurant (my favourite) was serving rabbit tonight, he was going to eat there with a few of his friends, and would I like to join? Hell yes I would… Hell yes I did. Ireni - a Greek grandmother / matriarch / goddess / chef extraordinaire - obviously stewed those rabbits for us like they were the last rabbits she’d ever stew. They were served very simply with French fries, but we also had chorta (bitter greens) and Greek salad before the main event. Everyone drank alcohol… white wine and Raki I believe, probably beer too, while I had my usual neró (water). It was my first time eating at Ireni’s since the summer, and I was so delighted to be back there. Meeting Z.X.’s friends was great too. One of them lives on Folegandros too, and has a lot of common with Z.X. The other two live in Sifinos (either that or Sikinos… so confusing!) and were in town for a month or so. They could all speak varying degrees of English (more than my pathetic amount of Greek) and it was yet another elbow in the side from God or whoever to learn some more of this beautiful language. Photos from that meal below...

That’s all for now. I have a lot of catching up to do on my daily life here… Both in writing and in general (all shall be revealed soon), but I hope you’re enjoying reading all of this, whoever you are....

[jjkfire]

update 4/27/21:

I'm working at a startup so it's extremely busy. but I love my job! i am trying to find the time to fit writing in my schedule tho. gonna figure it out someday lol. my stories are not abandoned, don't worry. all the endings and plot points have been planned. i'm just struggling to find the time to write atm. still very grateful for all the kind words and support you guys have given me over the years. hope all of you are out there living your best lives, exploring, learning, and finding joy in all the little things 😊 join my tag list (read the instructions pls) to get notified when I update my fics!

//

previous big update:

hello! i know i’ve been sort of mia but… it’s been an absolutely chaotic time for me. 

the (long) story goes a little something like this:

earlier this year during spring break, i had friends who convinced me to give america a shot and apply for jobs after grad. i really didn’t want to because the visa process is a pain and it costs a lot. also, not a lot of companies want to hire internationals so it’s very demoralizing to receive a million rejections… but my friends are very persuasive people lol. 

so it was super hectic during the last few months I had in the country as i tried to get through the visa process, study, work, beef up my resume, apply for jobs and graduate at the same time. (i understand that a ton of people have to do this too… but it’s hard y’all). anyway, one Medium article, one cold email, and a number of grueling interviews later, i found out i got a job!

now i just had to convince my parents… this was actually in all honesty, the most stressful part. i love them to death but my father really made it feel like i was choosing between my family and a job and ngl i cried myself to sleep on the regular. in the end, he finally gave me the okay to take the job but i know he’s still very upset. that’s honest to god the worst part. (my mum’s been super supportive tho so i guess that’s the silver lining in all of this!)

prior to getting the job though, I was really in limbo. I had returned to my home country because I and by extension, my parents, were not confident that i was going to be able to land a job in the US. I was very confused because I was neither here nor there. I was interviewing with the american company from my home country, trying my best to make sure they’d still be interested in me as a candidate no matter how many hurdles there were. then, to ensure that I had a safety net, I was also doing interviews locally and sending out resumes whenever I could. I was exhausted. and I know everyone goes through the job hunt so it’s equally as exhausting for everyone but yeah it was not a fun time.

anyway so now that I took that job in america i gotta move halfway across the world again, but this time without financial support and i don’t know… maybe this is the first time i’ll be truly independent and ya im seconds away from shittin myself. really gotta put on my big girl pants and try to not be broke yeet yeet.

but uhh that’s the low down on why i haven’t been able to write much at all…….. and yeah! working on it tho… haha always working on it.

to end all of this, I just want to say that I’m super lucky to have all of you. I basically got the job because of that article I wrote. I know I sound like a broken record talking about my article over and over but I dunno I guess all of this is just a little wild to me ahah.

I owe a lot of my confidence in my writing to all of you. I personally think my writing improved bc of this blog and the support you guys give me is… unreal (“: I know it may seem insignificant to some of you to reblog/like and comment on a fic but it really spurs me creatively and makes me feel sort of confident about my writing. all of that is probably why I didn’t think twice about hitting that post button on my article. although it’s a very different type of writing… I don’t know it’s just knowing that my writing is worth something… knowing that my writing is worth taking 5 minutes out of your day to read, is pretty cool and you guys kind of gave me that! (i am in no way saying that my writing is the best thing on earth. far from it. but i think you guys understand what i’m trying to say!)

so in some way, you guys helped me get a job! nice work team hahahah. also, also i just want to say, never give up. I decided I wanted to try my luck at the American job market maybe around the end of March and graduation was in early May. so I had about more or less a month to do something. I knew I needed a way to set myself apart from everyone else because my gpa wasn’t stellar and I hadn’t had any internships in America. not to mention the fact that I was an international student hence it was even harder to get hired. so basically, why would a company pick me over the next person? I thought perhaps knowing how to code was the way to give myself an edge so I learned some basic python and sql but then I realized there wasn’t really an impressive project I could attempt within that short time frame and I also knew far too little to do anything anyway. this meant that I was back at square one.

so, I switched gears instead. I sat down and really thought about what I could do. I concluded that at the very least, I could write. I knew I could write so I needed something that I could use along with my writing and I was like… it’s gotta be data! knowing that, I picked up the basics on how to use Tableau and I also picked up VBA macros in excel (if you don’t know what this is… I think you should Google it. it will literally blow your mind. excel can do a lot more than you can imagine). Then, I picked what I wanted to write my article on, got the data I needed from google trends, used vba macros to make the calculations faster, used tableau to make charts based on the data and photoshop to spice up the charts and etc. I did my research in the meantime as well and had a rough plan on what I was going to write about. after this, it was all systems go and it went a little like this:

wrote the article. attached my charts. linked the links. hit that post button. applied to all the jobs & companies that I thought would see value in what I did and can do. got rejected many times. felt discouraged. did more searching on companies that were willing to hire internationals. decided to send a cold email to a company. ACTUALLY HEARD BACK. went through multiple interviews. ACTUALLY GOT THE JOB.

so guys, never give up. recognize your strengths and build around that. if you think you don’t have any strengths, look harder. if you still feel you don’t have any, make the effort to learn something. it’s never too late for anything. I did all of that in one month and 10 days (the learning stuff and writing the article thing I mean). always be open to learning. I say this so much irl that my friends are sick of it but in this day and age with the internet, you can literally learn anything. so please, learn. learn for fun, learn for whatever reason. learn anything. you’ll never know when it’ll come in handy. like my basic Photoshop that I learned just so I could make a header for my blog… literally used that skill for the graphics in my article lol.

anyway, you can achieve a lot more than you think you can. you just gotta throw caution to the wind and do your own thing. be determined, be proactive. if things aren’t going the way you think it should be, do something to change that. you are all amazing and capable of great things! I hope you all know that. my mum always said if you never try, you’ll never know. don’t be afraid, don’t stop to think about what other people will think of you. keep doing you. people doubt you enough so don’t add to that. keep your head held high and keep moving forward.

once again I want to thank you guys for being sort of a support system for me! every comment, nice ask and sweet message has brought me this far. i really mean it (’: always be nice and supportive my sweet dumplings. your words truly have impact!

[hongkongdramas]

Barrack O’ Karma

Yay to creepy and mysterious themed dramas! I have always liked such drama themes. So currently I’ve only watched till episode 4 and I have started to like it. The first two episode under the story ‘梦’ wasn’t impressive to me. It was exciting at some point in time but excitement level went into a flat line again... I would assume that it was an opening to show how Siu (Joel Chan) has this connection to his past life through his dreams. But it was a little too draggy by the some what random robbery case and a murder case in the prostitute house. And I was bored out of some unnecessary conversation going on which was a tad bit too long...

Episode 2 to 4 was way more interesting compared to the first two. I liked how Candice Chiu portrayed the mother that lost her child. That story for ‘婴’ kept me really curious as to what Mrs Ho wanted and the paranoia that the baby’s mother went through was so pitiful. Even though there were a lot of conversational scenes on some baby care methods, i think it was necessary for them to show the transition of how the baby’s mother trusted Mrs Ho to starting to suspect her weird behaviors. Now i’m looking forward to the other stories and now how they ended episode 4 with a flight turbulence!

The next story “娃” was interesting too. What started off as an uncomfortable involvement with dolls for men’s pleasure ended up to be a sad story about how a father felt so lonely after his daughter grew up. But this episode is filled with so much jokes that are so not for children.. 🙂 Anyway kudos for having an interracial couple and the first I’ve seen in a hk drama. Speaks so much about being accepting and diverse.

Following that was “鴉烏” (is it on purpose that they put the name the other way round? Or should I be reading it from right to left instead...) which has a pretty sad ending. Deep meanings in this story... the pressure from society and high expectations from parents on kids nowadays are really prevalent. The moment Tung-Tung said he didn’t want to grow up to face the hardship as an adult related to me so much. It was sad to see everyone losing their memory about Tung-Tung and finally even Tung-Tung himself losing his memory about his parents.

“異夢” was refreshing because it finally brought us back to the past to understand more about their past life (if there is some reincarnation thingy going on). It was so cool to see the opposite of what was happening like how it was Sis Coco dreaming of future Siu while in present life was Siu dreaming of Coco. And also Law Lan Jeh’s cameo!!! The lesbian case was ordinary but I guess it was necessary to link up the stolen $ and the release of Brother Hung.

Finally I got my question answered in these episodes. During Tung-Tung’s case, I was wondering so much on why Tung-Tung’s parent didn’t bat an eyelid when Alex came in to find out why they were arguing so loud. It felt like Alex wasn’t there at all... and I finally found my answer at the end of “洞”. Is Alex dead??? Mmmmm. Have to watch on I guess. Anyway, IMO, there wasn’t much of a supernatural thing going on in “洞”... (other than the fact that the hole in the wall was the creepy element to it) I guess there was an inspirational message going on throughout the story of pursuing one’s dream like how Mia finally found her calling and decided to put in effort in achieving what she wanted. Of course it wouldn’t have been possible without the help of that guy {forgot that guy’s name.. shall call him chicken little like how Siu called him}. Chicken Little was the one who made Mia realize her goal in life despite been an annoying keyboard warrior his whole life...

Next was “金丁” which was the weirdest shit story ever... I was totally baffled at the entire story with that weird ass theory of getting happiness after sleeping with that guy... I think this was the worst story ever that I have nothing to say about it..

Yuki Jeh is actually very pretty!! Her “美魔女” story was interesting because it linked back to her mum in the past. So we get to toggle back and forth between past and present to see the reason for her obsession with beauty. Too bad Yuki Jeh went bonkers till the end.. I wasn’t expecting her to use the cotton wool to wipe it on her face when Shui left 😅

DR POONNNN! Like everyone else, I was anticipating and waiting and waiting for Dr Poon to appear and there she is!!! But she appeared for such a short duration :( Anyway, the story of “Simone” was so cute!!!! I really like the part when they enter the gaming story. The augmented reality they were in was so interesting! And the story really shows how scary technology can be in our digital world. The manifestation of technology, especially in the world of augmented and virtual reality, can be dangerous where our personal data are constantly being collected for other purposes... the love story was just an added feature.. Hahahah KELLY CHEUNG was gorgeous!! And that Big White Duel reference there was cool! Plus also, they were finally revealing the ultimate story behind Siu, Alex, Fai and Coco. Teacher Lam is super mysterious and I’m really wondering what is that “thing” that he refers to suspiciously.

Last story!! 夢遊. Okay actually I’m only till the last second episode. Wow mind blown. They actually came up with some sci-fi thingy where you’d have to almost drown to time travel...? Okay that was out of the blue.. and omg don’t tell me Lam Gor Zai is some cat demon that kills people.

Finished Barrack O’ Karma and I was a little confused at the ending and also annoyed at the fact that they spent a whole 3-5 mins nearing the end to show flashbacks other then providing us with a little more details for the story.

Instead of looking at Lam Gor Zai being a real cat demon or some sort, I would rather view Lam Gor Zai suffering from mental illness as a result. His horrible past (the sacrificial burial) might caused him to suffer from PTSD and resulted in him having DID (dissociative identity disorder) hence the “cat demon”. The cat demon was the other personality he had that harms people. Just like M. Night Shyamalan’s Split movie starring James McAvoy having 24 split personalities, the “Beast” was just one of the personality that goes around harming people. 

The final ending was the confusing part. Initially, the part where Coco and Siu (who time traveled) were almost dying on the boat, I thought that if Coco were to die and Siu to survive, Siu would not drown in the present time and Alex would have been declared dead from the missing flight. And if Coco were to survive and Siu to die, Alex would have survived in the present time and found from the missing flight while Siu would have drowned in the water tank. Boy was I wrong... instead, I would think that for Siu to time travel and have altered the past, it has created a whole new dimension in the present where characters we have seen had a whole new story in their lives but yet a striking similarity to what we have seen in the past episodes. (e.g Mia who is now a star with that chicken little who may have a special connection to her, Yuki Jeh who is now blind and unable to “appreciate” the beauty she has, Tung-tung who is now with his family and his dad a common bus driver etc.) As for Alex, she is now (coincidentally still) a flight attendant while Siu now a pilot. The eye contact and tears in their eyes may have brought forth the familiarity both had for each other just like how Alex said that she felt this homey feeling when entering Twilight Mansion and that it felt as if she had been here the whole time. 

Oh there was this weird scene where we see Lam Gor Zai and the older version of him (played by Lau Kong) carrying on to Lan Po. Seriously confused by this... I need some explanations here... That was so out of the blue...

Overall, I really enjoyed myself watching this drama with every subplot and ultimately the main story on reincarnation and time travel. Kudos! Looking forward to the sequel which has been green-lit!

[jaroslavlewis]

okay, writer ask meme, i need to know 5 and 9, please. that sounded rude. May I ask for you to answer questions 5 and 9, please? :3

5. Do you have an idea for a story you don’t feel you can write at this current time? (Whether it be because life is busy right now, you need to do more research, etc.)

Well I have lots of ideas as of the moment. Most of them I can’t write because I still don’t have time and I’m choosing to focus on one fic at a time. So here are the following pending fics I have in mind.1.  Actor Shinichi and Model Ran AU-The idea just sounds cute. I still don’t have a solid idea as to what the whole story’s gonna be about. But I just wonder how Shinichi’s gonna be like if he dreamed to be an actor like his mom and since Ran in the canonverse has been getting a lot of model job offers, I’m wondering how it’s gonna be. Like these two in the show business and then working on a project together dealing with crazy paparazzi and fangirls. That’s just a few of the possibilities. hahaha2. Pre-ShinRan Yusaku-Yukiko and Kogoro-Eri-As I’ve said in one of my posts, I want more fanfics about the parents. For Yusaku and Yukiko, I’m thinking these two met in the film/theater industry. Yukiko being the beautiful rising actress who likes being the center of attention and Yusaku the strugglinig writer who’s working for mainstream to later create a work of art on his own. Yusaku could be a little too hard on Yukiko’s acting saying that she doesn’t embody the essence of the character the way he pictured it in his head even when everyone else is impressed by her performance. Yukiko being annoyed by Yusaku’s arrogance but eventually leading her to practice and practice and practice more, maybe even asking Yusaku to read lines with her and then the two of them getting carried away maybe even leading them to practice the kiss scene because their delivery was so intense. Then after the little incident, Yukiko would tell Yusaku that he could make a good actor but Yusaku shakes his head saying that he prefers to stay behind the scenes and that being a writer is his mere passion. (Hi I can relate hahahaha)For Kogoro-Eri, maybe exploring them pre-Ran and then when Ran came into their lives and then after the separation and their reconciliation after that. When I started writing TSOY, I’ve started being a sucker for reconciliation/post break up fics. Hahahah. I thinking, one of the problems Kogoro and Eri encountered during their marriage is that they weren’t ready. I mean let’s face it, if we do the Math, Kogoro and Eri most likely got married and had Ran in their 20s. Which is still too young btw. Eri probably isn’t a lawyer then or maybe is still studying to be one. I’m guessing she had to give up that up for Kogoro and baby Ran and I’m thinking, being a housewife/full time mom isn’t natural for Eri but she is trying really hard. So, when Kogoro doesn’t appreciate it (ex. dissing her cooking) she gets mad and it hurts her so much so they fight, hence leading to a problematic relationship. With that, Eri had to leave and in the process she maybe found herself pursuing law again until years later she now has a great career but her heart still longs for Kogoro because obviously, she still loves him and he’s just a f*cking knuckle head who loves her as well but is too stupid to do something about it. hahaha3. Adult Detective Shin and Adult Lawyer Ran-I know I’ve written about them like this in TSOY but I want to write about like a real case where they both have to team up to solve it. Still need research for this.I still have more I can’t recall as of the moment. But hopefully things go well and I’ll be able to write all these ideas.

9. Favorite cliche or trope? I’m a sucker for back hugs among couples and maybe the famous Post-BO hospital scene.  You know the works, Ran waiting by Shinichi’s bed and holding his hand until he wakes up. A dramatic moment between them, some tears and maybe a kiss. It’s a cliche that I honestly love. hahaha I know many write scenes like this and some may get tired of it but ahhh I’m in love. 

[pianosamurai]

Asia Trip Part 3: Tu Lan + The Trip to Hanoi

Truth be told, we were on the fence about doing this second tour, even though it was just a 1-day trip. We were a little fuzzy on the specifics - would it be similar to Hang En? Too similar? Did we want to potentially tarnish the fun we had on the first tour, with a potentially mediocre experience the next day?

We overcame the over-thinking and went ahead with the tour, which ended up being (of course) the absolutely right thing to do. It was an even earlier pickup than the first tour, and we had the same breakfast we did the first morning at Ho Khanh’s Homestay - fried noodle with eggs, tea and some fresh mango. I realize now that I forgot to highlight our host Duc, who was the nephew of Ho Khanh and managed the entire homestay. He was a great and had an awesome energy (regardless of whatever time we saw him). I especially appreciated the conversation after we found the massive spider the first morning.

Amanda: “Good morning Duc! So we found a huge spider in our room.”

Duc (smiling): “Ooooooh...really? You okay?”

Amanda: “Oh yeah we’re fine, but I figured you should know.”

Duc (laughing nervously): “Hahahah...yeah....it’s okay! He friendly!”

And then 5 minutes later:

Duc: “Was the spider inside the room? Or outside the room?”

Amanda: “Inside the room, on the window.”

Duc: “Oooooh.....hahaha okay!”

We were picked up by another Oxalis tour guide that morning named Vu, in what I believe I was a nice Toyota RAV4. Expecting another small bus to show up with a bunch of other tourists, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that we were actually the only people on the tour that day. We were driving about an hour away, to a different cave system in a completely different area. Tu Lan is not a national park, but it was equally inspiring as the park in Phong Nha.

Along the drive, we took a highway that Vu told us was running along the Ho Chi Minh Trail, and then he proceeded to dive into some Vietnam War trivia. That was one thing I was curious about, to hear their perspective and see how they react to foreigners, and Americans in particular. Granted, as tourists they were only going to give us so much information, but the way that Tha put it the day before, “For a while, the older Vietnamese generation was angry at Americans. But after a while, we decided to change our minds. And we said, okay, we should be friendly with Americans now.” In these smaller towns, tourism has actually been well-received, as it has provided lots of jobs and opportunities for the local people. I only hope that the goodwill that we experienced during our time there will remain, and grow into the future.

Just before we arrived at the headquarters in Tu Lan, we encountered a very muddy stretch of the road that had actually handicapped an Oxalis van, carrying a few tour guides (including Tha) who were going to the headquarters for a training session. Apparently a bridge had been in place previously, but over the years it had started to deteriorate until it was finally taken down to make way for a new bridge to be constructed. But at that moment, we were between bridges - bring on the mud. The van eventually managed to squirm its way up the little slope leading back to the main road. More on this mud zone later.

There was some light drizzle on and off throughout the day (hence the mud), but obviously not enough to deter the tour from happening. We made it to the headquarters, where we got situated and received an abbreviated safety briefing from Vu (”you guys know all this stuff already, so we’re good”). And then the three of us started trekking towards the caves.

For any cinephiles who are reading this, much of the recent King Kong movie “Skull Island” was filmed in this region. While that was generally used as a selling point on the Oxalis website, Vu seemed only mildly amused by the connection (”I haven’t even seen the movie!”). I actually did see the movie, and while I wasn’t nearly geeking out over being on location where they shot the film, it was pretty fun to imagine a huge gorilla and a huge dinosaur battling amongst the hills and rivers around us.

But humongous creatures aside, it was clear why the filmmakers were attracted to this area. It had a sense of mystery and wonder that kept me intrigued the whole day. I’m sure the vibe would have been completely different in the summer, with blue skies and sun, but I’m happy that we experienced this place in the exact state that we found it.

A long, flat walk amongst rice and peanut fields (and a whole lot of water buffalo) led us to our first river and then eventually our first cave. The caves we explored on this day were nowhere near the magnitude or scope of Hang En, but they still had plenty to offer. If anything, it made me want to go watch the Planet Earth “Caves” episode again, which I’m sure I had not nearly appreciated enough the first time.

As the day went on, I grew more and more thankful that we hadn’t decided to pull the plug on the tour. This experience was so different than Hang En - not just the setting, or the caves. The fact that it was just me, Amanda and Vu (and an occasional porter or chef) gave us the chance to really appreciate the solitude and the majesty of the Tu Lan area. Rather than a handful of tour guides shepherding a group of random assorted tourists, it just felt like a few buddies taking a walk through the jungle, stopping at times to admire crazy stalactite formations, local cows that crept up to within a couple feet of our trail, or super dark cave ladders like this one:

(dub step analogy ahead): This small section of the trip could have been considered the Build, if our lunch campsite was the Drop (sorry). We had to climb down that (clearly) not well-lit ladder, which led to a dark cave within the river that we canoed down for a few minutes before being spit out at this beautiful little nook:

The campsite was at the far end of this little lake, and we relaxed for a bit while the sky tried to figure out if it wanted to rain, or just seem threatening. Again, lunch was a delicious combo of spring roll/bánh mì fixings (assembly required). Another highlight of this day was having an uninterrupted opportunity to talk with and learn about Vu, our guide. He was from the city of Hue, where his parents had owned a coffee shop. After school, he decided to move to Phong Nha to escape the hustle of the big city. Naturally, he said the instant coffee that was more easily found in these rural areas didn’t really get the job done for him (”I drink 6 cups a day, and feel nothing”). He told us about his first experiences with Oxalis, when he was the only applicant who didn’t speak English, but he was a good enough swimmer that they brought him on for training. The caving experts that train the guides are all based in the UK, which explained Vu’s fairly consistent British accent. When asked what country he would most like to visit (he had never left Vietnam), he replied “America” without too much hesitation. Why? “Because you can make money there.”

After lunch, we took a slightly more perilous route back down to the main trail, up and over a steep hill complete with spiky, slippery rocks. Thankfully nobody got themselves hurt - just very muddy. As we found flat ground again and reached our final river crossing (heading back to the headquarters), I paused for a few seconds, mid-river, letting the water wash the mud out of my shoes and feet. I tried to breathe slowly and let the moment sink in, and not just take this last wet river crossing for granted. People may wonder (especially the locals) why city dwellers from halfway around the world would pay money to walk around in the jungle, through the mud, over hills with sharp rocks, getting sweatier and dirtier by the minute. An easy answer would be “to feel alive”. But I think more than that, it was “to remember what life is, and what it can be”. In a place such as New York City, it’s very easy to get wrapped up in your day-to-day life, and oftentimes global happenings outside of the five boroughs only register as a blip on your News App. The day that I started to travel more frequently for music, my relationship to New York City - and the world as a whole - changed dramatically. To put oneself in a situation such as this river, this jungle trek - I looked at it as a self-inflicted reminder, to stay humble, and to always appreciate the lifestyles and customs of other people around the world. Just because they do things differently than us, doesn't mean that they aren’t as passionate about life and invested in what they do. And that’s something I can always respect.

A return to headquarters was capped off with a most-welcome hot shower at a stall that was set up about 50 yards from the main building. At this point, my trusty New Balance sneakers had, sadly, started to kick the bucket. The tread had started to peel off the bottoms of the shoes, and I could almost hear them yelling, “Come on man, give us a break!” So I donated them to Vietnam, and Vu said he would keep them at the headquarters, just in case somebody with huge feet showed up one day and needed to borrow a pair for their own excursion.

Although had I known what was coming up next, I might have held onto them a little while longer. Remember the muddy stretch of road that we passed in the morning? As we approached it on our return to Phong Nha, we were held up by a couple of people who were helping to guide a vehicle coming up from the opposite way. Turns out, that vehicle was a big tractor with BIG wheels. We all had the same thought instantly, fearing that the BIG wheels had left some DEEP grooves in the mud, and if our RAV4 managed to slip into those grooves, we might get stuck.

Well guess what - that’s exactly what happened. Despite our driver’s best efforts, we were squirming along the muddy decline, trying to drive in between those grooves without falling into them. But everyone knew the moment that the wheels slipped, and we were just stuck. Long story short, the Oxalis van that needed rescuing in the morning came to our aid, and a coalition of myself, Vu, Tha and the van driver managed to push the RAV4 from behind, eventually giving it enough leverage to snarl out of the grooves, nearly drive off the side of the road, and then finally clamber back up the incline on the other side. All the effects of the hot shower were completely erased by the splattering and the (slowly drying) mud cakes covering my feet and sandals. But after the initial discomfort, I thought - why not? I spent the whole day trekking through mud, so it only seemed appropriate (in hindsight) that I would re-muddy myself with a few Vietnamese dudes, shoving a car out of a ditch. It was like an added authentic bonus to the tour that Oxalis had been keeping a surprise. (Although I’m sure they aren’t trying to make a habit out of this.)

We eventually made it back to Phong Nha, where we gathered ourselves at a chic little restaurant on the main strip near our bus stop. In my scheduling madness, I had booked a sleeper bus from Phong Nha to Hanoi, which was an 8-9 hour drive. This way, we could get to our final destination by midday the following day, and also didn’t have to worry about a hotel for that evening. Dinner was surprisingly good (didn’t expect that I would be eating wood-fired pizza in Vietnam), and then when the bus finally showed up, we entered what would be one of the more hilarious nights of our trip - and maybe our lives?

Hilarious could be the wrong word - maybe strange, special, a little nerve-wracking? Some combination of all those things. I have no photos of this bus, but Amanda summed it up the best halfway through the drive, when she half mumbled to me, “If I just pretend like I’m on the Knight Bus from the Harry Potter movie, I’m good.”

Facing the back of the bus from the front, there were three rows of double-decker bunks. Not 180-degree flat bunks, but more like the passenger seat of a car, folded as far back as it can go. Add a little plastic case surrounding the bottom and sides of the chair (imagine the material from a Fisher-Price jungle gym), and that’s what the sleeping situation was like. They were most definitely one-shooters, so Amanda and I found neighboring bunks.

Once we got going, it became quickly apparent that the bus drivers (there were two that alternated during the drive) were not too interested in the notion that people were trying to sleep. Honking, speeding, swerving, revving, spitting out the window - all was fair game. In hindsight it was hilarious - I mean, what more was I expecting at $14 a ticket for an overnight bus ride? - but at the time, there were a few moments where I had to question whether or not I had made the right decision.

Regardless, we made it to Hanoi somewhat alive, and after a brief stop to gather our bearings at a nearby hostel, we embarked on Phase 2 of our journey that day - to Cat Ba Island!

[adonis-koo]

oh my goodness!!! Thank u sm for the tag @wearenot7withu 🥺🥺 it takes me awhile to see these but I always try my best to do them!!! Edit: this somehow got posted before I could finish so bare with me 😭

1. Why did you choose your url?

Adonis is the Greek god of beauty, he was so beautiful that Aphrodite and Persephone were both smitten with him, an agreement was made between the two Goddess’s that Adonis would spend a third of the year with Aphrodite and another third of his year with Persephone, the last third with his own free will. Jungkook is probably the most beautiful man I have EVER seen in my life, both in looks and personality, so if I ever associate him with a Greek god, it’s Adonis, hence my url (that and how everyone would probably fight to the death to be with this man and same tbh)

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them?

The only side blog I have that is active would be @miss-ficrecs and it’s dedicated to reblogging and reviewing fics, anything that gets reblogged on there gets reblogged onto here so more people can see it!

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

If we ignore account wise I’ve been here for like 8 years now 😭 I created my first account when I was a young impressionable 13 year old and it was Supernatural stan account 🤢 obviously deleted for good reason

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I don’t! I’ve attempted to have a queue tag before but I just don’t use the queue option enough for it to be useful for me!

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I’ve been writing fanfiction for over half my life now and I had started on a plethora of other platforms before Tumblr and had grown out of most other websites. I originally started this blog as just a place for me to explore BTS (as I was still relatively new to the fandom) but had intentions of using it to write if I had the desire to get back into again (I had taken a break at the time but given what type of blog I am we see what happened)

6. Why did you choose your icon?

I feel like it’s pretty well known on my blog but I practice witchcraft, so I saw these cute little witch icons and thought it was fitting! I sometimes use filters and stickers so it goes which each theme I’m using but it pretty much stays the same no matter how much else I change on my blog

7. Why did you choose your header?

Much like last question the theme I’ve been attempting to keep up with is the wheel of the year! So last major pagan holiday was Ostara which is the beginning of spring and is typically associated with planting and flowers blooming, hence my header was in theme of flowers (as growing flowers was part of my celebration for Ostara)

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Ummm I could be wrong but I’ll take a guess and say it would be my writing: sate! It’s close to 4K and I’m pretty shocked to this day, it was my first ‘longer’ fic I had wrote that was originally going to be a oneshot but because it was so popular I decided to just make a whole verse for it with all the other members!

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I can think of 5 off the top of my head but I think I have around 8-10 mutuals and I love every single one of them 🥺

11. How many people do you follow?

Somewhere around 130 I believe!

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I have actually lmaooo but those were back in my early days of using this app

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

I mean it depends on the definition of using lmfao, I check tumblr fairly frequently but I don’t actually reblog of anything like that except maybe once a day?

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

Noooo hahaha, I tend to keep to myself on tumblr since it’s mainly my outlet for just writing or occasionally venting

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I feel like they’re extremely redundant on tumblr as a whole, “you need to reblog this” posts are typically filled with information that most people who use tumblr already know and therefore I feel like it’s not really serving a purpose for anyone other then being used as a guilt tactic for reblogs, hence why you probably don’t see them that often on my blog

16. Do you like tag games?

I love them!!! I just ummm 😣 often forget that I get tagged in them, or I start on them and never finish and they get buried in my drafts, so please tag me if you think of them and I’ll try my absolute best to get around to it!

17. Do you like ask games?

Even better!!! 😫 especially if they’re for stories

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Hahahah oh god like all of them?? They’re all such incredible writers and they’re some of the ones who I uses to read and inspired me to start writing on here!

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

Not any actually crushes BUT id platonically marry all of them 🙇‍♀️

20. Tags?

!!! @sweetbunnykook @rmsbicycle @jungkookiebus @fortunexkookie