#this got rambly but i can't say i'm surprised i do have rambly tendencies

[me1och]

For the Tav asks 👀

7, 14, 26, and or 30 ????? (am indecisive so now you get 4 numbers lmao)

I don't have an in-depth answer for 26 (Does your Tav have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?) but suffice it to say Eike does, including mementos from their family/community and their Runs on the surface. As per the other questions...

7. What circumstances led to your Tav becoming their Class/Subclass?

Eike is a descendant of a group of deep gnomes who had been liberated by Eilistraean drow several generations ago and lived with them/under their protection since. Eike was a part of clergy but they were more interested in the hows and whys of magic entire and started dabbling in wizardry, letting their divine gifts fall by the wayside.

However since being infested with a tadpole and rashly accepting Illithid Powers without really knowing what it'd entail (due to good old Wizard Hubris) they began to doubt their judgement and in search of guidance and hope they turned back to Eilistraee. (they never really left but they've not gone the extra mile in their worship in a long while before the events of the game)

(also, while mechanically their cleric domain is Knowledge, if i were to play them in dnd i'd ask the dm to have their domain be more of a hybrid between Knowledge and Arcana)

14. How does your Tav feel about the city?

It's Big. Eike is no stranger to surface settlements but they used to stick to villages and towns on their Runs, they haven't been anywhere this populous before.

While they sympathize with Halsin's disheartened thoughts on the injustices of the city, they find a lot of his thoughts on nature and balance too black-and-white and somewhat naïve because they don't see people as separate from nature. Ultimately though, they don't think that city life is for them and would prefer living in a smaller scale community.

30. What are your Tav’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

I should pre-face this by saying that i have not yet finished the game or even dealt with Caz but i do have a rough plan on how to approach it all.

They're gonna end up with a lot of vamprire spawn on their hands and helping with them will be their top priority. The ethos of Eilistraee is helping others, particularly helping drow to return to the surface. They find that the predicament of the spawn resonates with that and hope that other Eilistraeans see it in the same light, so their plan is to contact their temple (and through them, others) and ask for aid. That in itself is a hefty goal so i don't imagine they've thought much further ahead.

They also try to keep in touch with the party even after parting their ways (pardon the pun) and in their free time do research to solve Karlach's heart troubles, as well as being in a book club with Gale (by which i both mean that they use him to learn more wizard spells since RAW you need spell slots and not class levels to scribe those and that they genuinely are in a book club).

[hahaifolded]

141 x POC!GN Intelligence Operative - Thanks for the help Author's Notes: here's the second one of the four. also sincere question, did this make sense? Warnings: MDNI, Racism (not Ghost tho), Angst

Did Ghost feel bad for screwing Gaz over? Of course not. All's fair in love and war. Did it hurt seeing you so downtrodden the next few days? Absolutely.

He doesn't like how you would walk onto base, worried about your position on this team. But he has to stay strong. For the sake of the task force, Ghost and the rest of the team have to suppress their feelings. Losing you would be too great of a loss.

That’s why he keeps his distance. He can’t be tempted if he stays away. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t indulge a bit if you went looking for him first.

Deep in his paperwork, Ghost is interrupted by light knocking. He looks up, and to his surprise, you are standing at his door.

“What do you want?” he barks. He didn’t mean for it to come out so harsh but he could see Price behind you in the hall on his phone. Not wanting to risk any misunderstandings, Ghost kept his persona on.

You step back a bit before entering. “I’m so sorry to bother you, but I was hoping you can help me with something, if it’s not an inconvenience, of course. And I completely understand if you can’t. I’m perfectly capable of—”

“Ask and we can see.” Clearly you were rambling because of your nerves. Nerves that you never had when you were around Ghost before.

“I'm doing an intel overview with the rookies at 14:00 today and they have a tendency to question authority. Wanted to see if you're free to have my back in there?” The authority they questioned was really just yours as a lot of the rookies saw you as a diversity hire. You kept this to yourself as you didn't want to come off as difficult to work with. And thankfully, Ghost never asked whenever you asked him for help with the rookies. So you were hoping that he was still willing to help you.

Seeing this as an opportunity to be your hero, Ghost agrees. He wanted to show you that despite everything, you can always count on him. He can’t help but feel some glee when you throw him a smile as you leave, something he hadn’t seen in awhile. However, any joy Ghost felt evaporates as Price walks in.

"Need something cap?" he asks. He knew Price was up to something as a small smirk sat on his captain's face.

"Just wanted to let you know that I'm about to leave for my check-up. Gaz and Soap are off base today, so you're in charge," he informs. Ghost squints his eyes. There's no way that was all he wanted to say. And right he was as Price whips back around.

"Shit. Just remembered. I have a meeting with some captain today at 2pm. Cover for me, will you?"

Ghost's eyes bulge out. He can't. You need him at 2.

"Don't worry. It's a short meeting. It'll be over before you know it," he reassures. And before Ghost has a chance to rebuttal, Price leaves, leaving him with no choice but to follow orders. He considers texting you, but decides against it. He didn't want to let you down and besides, if Price said it was a short meeting, then it should be a short meeting. When has Price every led him astray?

Now actually as the clock read 2:55 and Ghost was still in his office, talking to this random captain. He knew he should have texted you. As the captain kept talking about some possible collaboration between the 141 and his team, Ghost stares at the clock, hoping, pleading that you were fine.

By 3pm, you accept that Ghost wasn't coming. Despite your efforts, the rookies keep talking over you, questioning your work. The longer it went, the tighter your throat got. Right now, you need support, you need back up, you need Ghost. Your Ghost. The one that would always have your back. The one that saw you as his teammate. The one that still saw you as his teammate.

Instead, you had the Ghost that couldn't even send you a text. Realizing these rookies weren't going to listen, you call it quits and end the meeting early.

By 3:47pm, Ghost finally frees up. If he was lucky, maybe you were still in your meeting. But to his dismay, as he walks out to the hall, he sees Price standing at your door. As he gets closer, he hears Price's annoyed and your tired tone.

"What do you mean you couldn't finish the meeting?" scolds Price. You stand at your desk, clearly exhausted.

"Like I said, the rookies weren't paying attention so--"

"So? It's your job to get their attention."

"I understand that, but--"

"I don't think you do actually," Price says, letting out an exasperated breath. He turns around and notices Ghost coming up behind.

"Ghost, just the man I wanted to see," he announces. Ghost stills, confused by the sudden change in Price's attitude. "I saw you took my 14:00 instead of cancelling it. Thanks for the help," he said while clapping a hand on his shoulder.

This motherfucker! Price just played him. Ghost shifts his gaze to you and sees you looking at him in disbelief. In your mind, Ghost had purposely abandoned you.

Turning his attention back to you, Price hits the final nail on Ghost's coffin. "You should try to be more like Ghost here. He knows how to be a real team player." You just nod.

Ghost doesn't miss the way your eyes go completely blank.

Word Count: 940

More Thoughts - Next Thought

[sharararararara]

My Swan- Yandere Viktor Krum x reader

Warning: Obsessive behavior, kinda stalking? Krum is simp for the reader, the reader likes Krum but does not know about his yandere tendencies.

tell me if I missed something.

He first noticed you when he was putting his name in the goblet, you were sitting beside your friends, laughing and smiling together. You looked gorgeous, your smile, your hair, and the sound of your laughter was like music to his ears. Was this love at first sight? He thought, no...he needs to focus on the tournament, he can't be crushing on some girl whom he never interacted with.

As days went by, he couldn't help but think of you, sometimes he thought you bewitched him. He always stares at you from the corner of the room, waiting for you to talk to him.

After he fought with the Chinese Fireball, he got a few burn marks, but he did not really care about them, It was not really that serious. But that was when you came, carrying a basket of medicine, with a worried look on your face. You decided to help the players whenever they got injured, you were good in medicine and can heal people quickly.

You asked him if he was okay if you healed him, he nodded, surprised by your act of kindness. You gently applied petroleum jelly to his burn marks. While you were healing him, he stared at you with admiration in his eyes, that was the time when he realised that he liked you.

After that day he bumped into you again, you were in a library reading a book, he slowly walked to you, wanting to talk to you.

You felt someone sitting beside you, you looked only to see Viktor Krum, the guy you healed yesterday. You smiled and scoot over to give him space, Oh hey Viktor, how are your burn marks? You asked wondering if you did a good job healing him, Viktor said it was healing quickly and was not painful anymore. You smiled at what he said, What are you reading? He asked as he looked at the book you had on the table, You said it was about plants, you had a great interest in plants, you loved taking care of them, and feeling very happy when they grow. Viktor just listened to your rambling about plants. He loved your voice, it was so calming to hear.

The yule ball was coming, but you still did not have anyone to go with. You were sitting in the library, as usual, reading about plants when Viktor came. Oh hello Viktor! Do you need anything? you softly said since you were in a library, I just wanted to ask you something... Said Viktor as he sat beside you. Oh, OK then! What did you want to ask about? You asked as you smiled at him, I just want to ask...If you want to go to the Yule ball with me, Said Viktor hoping that you would say yes, Wait what? W-with me? I mean Viktor there are other girls you can choose from other than me- But I want you, you got caught off by Viktor, Oh well...Sure why not? Viktor smiled as he kissed your cheek, see you then, said Viktor as he walked away. You blushed covering your face and smiling, you got a date with Viktor Krum.

You were getting ready for the ball, you were excited, and nervous at the same time. You were putting on your dress while rambling to Hermione, What happens if he does not like my dress?! Or he does not like my hair?! Oh, Merlin's Beard what happens if he regretted asking me- Relax (your name)! He will not regret asking you! So hurry up and put your dress on because the ball is about to start!

You were in front of the entrance to the Yule Ball when you suddenly hid yourself, OH MY GOSH I CAN'T DO THIS! what do you mean? said Hermione, trying to pull you inside. I'm so nervous Hermione! Why are you nervous?! Krum asked you because he obviously likes you so stop acting like that and get in! But Hermione- You got dragged inside by Hermione when you spotted Viktor, you froze, you could not move, Hermione smirked at you as your face started to become red, You look beautiful (Your name), said Viktor, u-um ah... Thanks, Viktor...You look handsome, I mean uh- Viktor smiled as he extended his hand, you looked at Hermione, and she gave you the biggest smirk ever. You held Viktor's hand as he guides you too the doors that were about to open.

The doors opened, and people were staring at you, Did Viktor Krum really choose you as his date? Of all the girls, it was you who he chose? The girl who was obsessed with studying plants and medicine?

You felt insecure, I should have not came here... You mumbled to yourself thinking no one heard, but Krum did, he heard everything, he heard about the whispers people gave to you. He swears he will kill them when he has a chance, how could they say that to someone as sweet as you? Krum gently gave you a squeeze on your hand, making you look at him, Krum gave you a smile telling you to ignore what they were saying. You nodded smiling back at him.

Here you are, dancing with him,, He looked at you lovingly as you both swayed together, You looked like a swan, so graceful...

The music changed into rock music, everyone cheered and started to dance together. You laughed with Krum, dancing and spinning around.

I will get us drinks, stay here ok? Said Krum leaving to get drinks for the both of you guys, you smiled, you were blushing so much. So how was it? Said a smiling Hermione who approached you. It was amazing, He was so nice and sweet, you said to Hermione. Looks like someone is in love, said Hermione as she smirked at you. Shut up! You shouted as you giggled with Hermione.

A random guy asked you to dance with him, you denied apologising and said that your date was getting drinks for the both of you guys. But the guy kept on forcing you, he grabbed your hand, which hurt you because of his nails. Hermione started shouting at him to let you go, only to be ignored. You were shouting at the guy to let you go until someone pushed him to the ground. It was Krum, you saw the drinks he brought for you in the ground, pieces of glass and juice everywhere. Krum jumped on him trying to punch him, you grabbed his arm trying to get him off the guy. Viktor get off him, please! you shouted which alerted the teachers. The teachers grabbed him, pulling him off the guy who was scared for his life, Krum was still angry at him for touching and hurting you. The teachers pulled him away, pushing him away from the guy.

The night ended with a grumpy Krum and a worried reader, Krum why did you do that-

He touched you! He shouted, turning to you with anger. He touched you and hurt you! I know he did but still, you did not need to hurt him! Viktor grumbled as he sat on the ground. You sighed and sat beside him. But I do thank you for protecting me, You said softly, smiling at him and holding his hand.

Viktor looked at you and smiled, his angry mood slowly vanishing.

It was the day when Viktor had to go back to Durmstrang, You hugged him and kissed his cheek, I will miss you Viktor, you said as your forehead touched his, I will miss you too... Said Viktor as he hugged for one last time.

(your name), promise to write to me.

I promise I will write to you Viktor.

You waved at Viktor when the ship was sailing off, Viktor waved back, blowing you a goodbye kiss.

Hey (Your name)?

Yes Hermione? You looked at Hermione who was beside you.

Have you seen that guy who tried to dance with you in the yule ball? I did not see him in days.

Now that you mentioned it...No I have not seen him.

Maybe he is hiding in his dorm, because of how scared he got of Krum, Said Hermione as you both laughed at the silly joke she made. Not knowing what really happened to him.

Krum killed him.

[pale-opal]

So

What writing projects do you have in the works?

👀

!!!

I am so glad that you asked this question! I honestly have a lot of ideas, and I have been wanting an excuse to talk about them for a while. So if you don't mind me rambling for a little bit:

So the first thing that I've been working on is a sequel to the first fic that I uploaded for this MMX rewrite that I've been working on (an AU called Collision Course). I'm trying to get a backlog of 30 chapters together before I release the second part, and I'm on Chapter 20 right now. I wanted to have it released well before this time, but I kept hitting walls with some of the chapters that came before the current one. However, I think I should be good once I reach Chapter 21 (the story will start to reach a point that I've been really excited to work on). I'm hoping to have it out before the end of the month.

@crystalclear365 and I have started planning for this one fic that we decided to write together - I won't go too far into it because we both want it to be a surprise, so all I will say is that I hope you like cooking shows. >:)

I also like to write essays sometimes, and there's been one that's been sitting in my drafts for way too long. I want to have that out by the end of the month, too (it's been a blast working on it, but I want it gone). I have other ideas for essays past that, but I think it would be best if I finally finished this one first.

I also have a bunch of AUs that I've been mentally workshopping for good while. Here are a few that I want to talk about:

There's a slice of life human + modern AU that involves Shadow Man being neighbors with the Wily family, along with shenanigans such as Bass skipping school on a near regular basis, Piano and Waltz (cut characters from the Megamix manga and the Dreamwave comics respectively) being in girl scouts, Snake Man trying to set Shadow up with Berkana, Star Man being a community theater teacher, Wily being a deadbeat (if there's anything most of my AUs have in common, it's that Wily is a terrible father and Shadow Man will adopt nearly all of Wily's kids if you let him), Zero and X being lab partners, Blues being a runaway... there's a lot going on. I'm definitely going to have to make a proper post explaining this one at some point (and not just because I feel like I'll implode if I don't write something for it soon).

I also have a human + zombie AU that has a bunch of lore, so I can't talk about it too much without giving it its own post - so to sum it up, a bunch of the characters from the Mega Man series got turned into zombies during the apocalypse, got found by some scientists that are being led by Gate, got experimented on, got some of their sentience back while losing some of their zombie-tendencies, and escaped. Now it's everyone else's problem. It features events such as Red learning how to love and be less selfish after half-zombie Axl looks at him one day and goes "Yup. that's my dad now.", Shadow Man adopting half-zombie Zero (because of course he does), Snake Man slowly succumbing to the infection because he took too long to amputate his bite (oof), and Lunime trying to convince all the other former infected to rise up against the humans. And the half-zombies can speak to those that are fully infected, while all the humans get to stand around watching like this:🧍‍♂️

I have a vampire AU I haven't put much thought into. I do have a few details though: Red is Axl's biological father in this one, and Axl is half-vampire (Red is human, though. And an ex-vampire hunter. So he's going through it). Blues is a vampire hunter who is really good at his job, but hates doing it. Shadow Man's family act like rejects from the Addams family. Dr. Light is a retired hunter. I want to write a oneshot for Mouthwashing at some point (I saw a playthrough of it not too long ago and I may never be the same (/pos)), but I'm still working out the main plot beats. There's also a bunch of lore I have for my OCs, but to talk about that would take hours (seriously). I have some other oneshot ideas for the Mega Man franchise as well, but I'm saving those for special occasions (one of them I am saving for April Fool's Day. It is November. Bear with me). But uh... yeah! That's about it. Thank you again for asking! I hope I didn't talk too much. 😅

[baronessblixen]

You know, I was wondering:

If canon stopped at Je Souhaite and CC wrote the Revival later (but excluded William-Jackson and the mytharc), I wonder how much more... I don't know, plausible? it would be?

The problem with the Revival-- or why I never got into it-- was that so many out-of-character moments had to happen (S9 mostly) in order to set it up; and it never seemed worth my effort to watch. But I have IWTB locked and loaded for later this month; and I began to wonder if the Revival would have made more sense if Mulder had become lost in his obsession/depression after Colonization didn't happen, period, sometime after Je Souhaite; and the two being torn apart because of his tendency to withdraw into himself. I always thought that, even though they'd lost their son canonically, it was a factor that bound he and Scully tighter together; and their will-they-won't-they post S9 never rang true to me. I do factor in the need for space especially if Mulder won't/can't listen (precedent being set in Syzygy and Never Again and One Son etc.); but the reasons given (or not) for each "breakup" weren't... dealt with very well.

And maybe it's just me but some conversations in the Revival would have made more sense? if Mulder and Scully had never had kids and were happy but their happiness was shattered here and there because of Mulder's obsessions and regrets and not because Scully gave it all up but still walked away from him twice. (Plus One I think? was the "what if you get married and have kids" convo, and wouldn't that have been an interesting twist if Jackson wasn't a part of their history?)

ANYWAY. Ramble aside, I'll probably have more thoughts after IWTB... which should be interesting because I'm skipping right over S9 (so that my brain keeps it firmly in the AU category.) And IF that goes well, I miiiiiiiiiiiiight? dip into the Revival episodes that have nothing to do with the mytharc or William? Maybe? (Maybe not. XDD)

Is there a will-they-won't-they situation with them? To me there isn't. It might seem that way because CC didn't come right out and showed them as a couple in IWTB cause he wanted the audience to be surprised or something. But their love and what they feel for each other and that they both wanted to be together (and were) was never in question for me. And there is a lot of what you say in IWTB. Mulder and his obsessions and how that might drive a wedge between him and Scully.

As for the breakup in the revival, it just wasn't done well if you ask me. Like it's mentioned and then next episode, their dynamic is as it always was and you completely forget about it for the most part. There are a few mentions and in fact, there are a few great things in the revival.

The Plus One conversation - to me - was so misplaced in that episode. They were so beyond that point. It's a conversation they should have had in IWTB maybe. They were in their 50s (!) and talk about what "what if you meet someone and have a family". Sorry but that doesn't work for me.

The whole thing was clunky and just a way for CC to let Mulder and Scully have sex. Even without William/Jackson, that conversation happened too late for me. Cause it's never about what COULD have happened but what can still happen. And they're just too old for me for that at that point.

I think you can easily watch IWTB without having seen season 9. The only episodes you really need knowledge of to watch it are The Truth and maybe William.

I say give the revival a chance. You can always put it into AU category if you hate it :D

[unfortunate--moth]

Another thing um

This may surprise you, but I'm actually a pretty new fan to Milgram, and as my close anonymous bestie you seem like the type who'd know so.

I figured out how to access the votes today (I overcomplicated it so hard before) so I had a look and uh. I was kind of gobsmacked actually about Haruka's result for the second trial. Everyone I've seen talk about him has considered him innocent, so to see him considered guilty is kind of a shock. Do you know why he was voted that way?

- Milgranon

no worries!!

I can't speak for the entire fandom but for the first trial specifically i think since he was the first one and his mv was full of alot of symbolism and it wasn't even clear who or what he killed so I think unless it showed his murder outright he would've been innocent no matter what.

As for trial 2... I think it's the mix of the voice drama and the content of the music video. Obviously we all know that they're all murderers but actually seeing him strangle that girl (i have my own theories on who she is) cemented it for a lot of people who also watched the voice drama. I think him being voted innocent the first round, like with Muu, made his mental state worse actually. Like either way it would've gone down, but the mix of that + Muu's influence on him sorta made his personality shift a bit. Add in the stuff of him calling Es and then Muu his mother and then threatening sui/cide if Muu is voted guilty and we've got a very complicated case on our hands.

I actually wasn't here for the beginning of season 2, I got into milgram around Shidou's 2nd trial I believe. But it was a very difficult for me to decide my own personal verdict. Because I love this guy alot, and no matter what I think he needs therapy more than being in the super hell jail. He's shown many of signs of being neglected by his mother and possible mentions of a sibling being the favored one. Add that with his tendency to kill animals and you've got a classic case of just a serial killer in the making.

now thats putting it VERY simply, and even though I say that there's no telling if he actually would have killed more people. but with his mental state he could've hurt himself or others, and he still shows that self harm potential.

to me it doesn't matter what he got voted as the second time around because either verdict would've made him spiral more in different ways. I think milgram as a whole is just... dooming him.

But yeah I think the general consensus is that while everyone tends to like him, his voice drama and second mv sorta showed people less of the "cute shy little guy" and more of the actual sort of complexity and scariness that is his mental state. maybe not scariness, but showing the audience just how serious it truly is.

sorry this is VERY rambly and kind of all over the place but as for my own verdict. im actually incredibly on the fence about it. again i feel like either verdict would negatively impact him. i cant say for everyone else but I'm just going to assume it's the way his personality shifted somewhat between trials.

[cssnder]

Happy STS! Are any of your characters based on people you know/knew/met irl (whether loosely or specifically)?

warning: long rambling and probably a bit senseless because I can't think today.

Hello, you!

Real life is the greatest source of inspiration. I believe that to write characters that feel real, one must draw from real life. I suppose it is not surprising if I tell you that that all my characters are inspired by real-life people: me, my family, my friends, the toddlers I babysit, the people I met online, and even complete strangers that I have observed whenever I'm out. Writing good characters, characters that'll remain with the reader long after they finished their reading, demands a keen eye, an openness, and a certain objectivity.

To take my main novel for example, a lot of Oliver's thoughts, fears, and memories are directly taken from my diaries from a certain time in my life. His life at the beginning of the novel — in a small village, living with his parents who barely seem to care about him, and an overwhelming desire to leave this place and experience something new in a way only Emma Bovary could understand —, that too is inspired by my own life. And it doesn't necessarily stop to characters. Oliver wants to flee his house every time he looks out the window in his kitchen. Why? Because from there, he can see the church from the village he lives in and he fears he'll die before he ever got to leave this place, and will be buried in the church's cemetery. I suppose you won't be too surprised if I were to tell you that from my kitchen we can indeed see the Church of the village I live in, standing tall and menacing like a bad omen. He loves modernist poetry, I do too. At some point in the story, he gets gastritis from stress. I had to go through this ordeal last year too lmao. Of course, he's not the only one to have bits and pieces of me.

Wilhelm does too, although his traits are mine but exaggerated. His moral nihilism, his tendency to be quiet, his apathy, his rarefied talent for secrecy. But also, the way he learns languages to pass the time and, as a result, became a polyglot. He cannot hear too well from his left ear — I had too many otitis as a child and it damaged mine too. He fears reincarnation — this, I did too at some point. The idea of my soul just hopping into another body every time I died, even if I were to kill myself, and being unable to stop this loop didn't sit with me very well.

I'd say most of my characters have bits and pieces from me, but they do so in varying degrees. Oliver and Wilhelm are, quite obviously, the ones with the highest quantity while the other characters have some but it's more like added details, you know. After all, I'm the one to write them and, I suppose, it simply slips out. Sometimes, when I enter a room, I tend to open the door by lazily giving it a hit with my shoulder. This is something I didn't know I did until my sister pointed it out. This, for example I gave it to James. In our house, we can always hear music coming from my room, including a lot of classic records, that too, I gave James. He doesn't like being talked to in the morning, neither do I. But a lot comes from other people I've known throughout my life. The way James likes to read a certain genre of books, generally vintage sci-fi/horror: Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank; Swan Song by Robert McCammon — this one, James actually buys it during the story —; Strange Eons by Robert Bloch; The Incredible Melting Man by Phil Smith; Horror House by J. N Williamson; The Cats by Nick Sharma; but also books by P.G Wodehouse sometimes, too. I knew a guy like that who would read nothing else but those books. The way James can be easily irritable. This comes from my father. His love for animals, — petting every cat he meets and even discussing with birds — it comes from my brother. The way he sits, holds his cigarette, and stands — it all comes from different people's I've observed whether in my circle or outside while I was grocery shopping or going out somewhere. And this is generally the case for most of my characters, really. They're a carefully crafted mix of all those people that crossed my path. You could be smoking a cigarette in front of me right now and I'd be observing the way you hold it, what brand you smoke, the way the smoke moves around you, the way you move, what you say and how you say it — I'd be taking notes in my mind and giving it to a character.

Now, I rarely have a character that's based entirely on one person only for that book. But it does happen. Oliver's parents are strictly based on my own. Donna, who was supposed to be a minor character but finally ended up being more important than I had originally planned, was, in a high degree, based on my best friend the same degree that Oliver was mostly based on me. Her height, her tooth gap, the sound of her voice, the way she speaks, her red hair, her obsession with movies but also the way she's easily scared of horror ones, her zine that she discreetly distributes to other students... All those things are based on my best friend.

I am just enumerating a few details here and there but there are so many. However, it'd be far too long if I were to keep going and go over all my other characters. And this post is already getting too long. So, I am going to leave you with this:

I think I've already said it on my blog but I strongly recommend writers to journal a lot. You never know when a certain thought can be thought by one of your characters later on. I record everything in there, all in past tense, as if it were a novel — conversations I had; taking note of the way people talk, or move; places; weird dreams I had; thoughts; feelings; ideas; even the weather, for it exercises my description skills. Anything and everything really. It's an excellent exercise but also, I found, an excellent place to put observations and details that will help shapes future characters et hoc genus omne.

[soulsam]

Ask game!! For Sam and Dean both:

What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

OMG HELLO TUMBLR USER SPNTRUNK???? WHAT AN HONOR

I will ramble about my samdean thoughts ANY TIME so thank you for indulging me lol

1a. for sam, I loooove when the fandom acknowledges and magnifies his obsession with dean. he's slightly quieter about it (he doesn't go around yelling YOU TOUCH MY BROTHER AND ILL KILL YOU the way dean does) but that doesn't make him any less codependent or any less freakish!!!!!! he is JUST as insane about dean as dean is about him, and I LOVE to see that explored

1b. for dean, I love fandom discussions of his experiences with romance and sex and what they mean to him. I feel like the show mostly goes "dean sleeps around lol" and leaves it at that, but sometimes you get a glimpse of something else (cassie, lisa), and I always found those parts to be extremely intriguing. because dean can be such a hopeless romantic!!! he just doesn't let himself have good things, he holds them at arms length so that when he inevitably loses them it might not hurt so much. it's so heartbreaking and I could write academic essays about it probably. (as a sidenote, this aspect of his character is part of why I love samdean so much. he and sam have their moments, they've been separated by thousands of miles and death itself and it hurts dean terribly, but they always find their way back to each other. sam is the one person who dean has never really lost, not forever. and now that they're in their shared(!!!!) heaven, he never will.)

2a. I am going to have to try so so so so so hard not to write an essay about this one. the way the wider fandom treats sam makes my blood BOIL. tossing him to the side, pretending he doesn't exist, saying dean would be better off without him, etc. I hate all of it. I hate the way he gets sidelined in his own story, and the worst part is that THE SHOW ITSELF DOES IT TOO. SO I CANT EVEN BLAME THE STUPID FANDOM ENTIRELY. but if I had to pick one thing that I hate the most about the fandom's treatment of sam...I think I would be unoriginal and choose the purgatory debacle. there are just so many reasons why he shouldn't be blamed so harshly for the way he handled that time period. like. 1. he had JUST gotten hallucifer out of his head. he was having psychotic episodes so bad he nearly DIED, he barely even knew what was real and what was a hallucination. 2. he was ALONE. bobby was dead, dean and cas were, by all accounts, dead. his whole family was GONE. I can't even imagine the grief he must have endured in that time. I wouldn't be surprised if he had been suicidal, or if he'd had another psychotic break. and 3. WHERE WAS HE SUPPOSED TO GO LOOKING? he had no reason to think that dean SURVIVED the dick-splosion, and even if he was certain he had, sam KNOWS how dangerous it is to open the door to purgatory. and he couldn't exactly ask cas about it, could he? what was he supposed to do, summon crowley? yeah I'm sure that would've gone great. plus, 4. he and dean AGREED not to look for each other. sure, they make and break those kinds of promises often, but come the fuck on. how is it fair to ask sam, hopeless and alone and barely even functional enough to stand on his own two feet, to defy the promise he and dean made in order to bring him back from the dead and probably let something else nasty out along with him? that hardly seems reasonable to me.

um. I got heated about that one. anyway everyone lay off sam about purgatory okay. including dean. I get why he was upset but man cmon.

2b. this one's going to be shorter because I'm pissed about purgatory now lol but I hate when people make dean out to be some kind of. horrific wifebeater (and sam his battered, trapped woman). like. yeah. he's got anger issues and violent tendencies. yes, he often fails to break the cycle of abuse. yes, he lashes out at sam, and that's bad. but like. sam doesnt need protection from dean??? sam doesnt need liberation from dean???? dean isn't some horrible monster who belittles his brother for shits and giggles. he's a man who's seen way too much, lost way too much. it hurts to look at the ways he's changed, but he's doing the best he fucking can. also, pet peeve!! I HATE HATE HATE when people point to the behavior he exhibited while he had the mark of cain and go "see!! see!!! it was inside him all along!!!! he's a terrible person!!!!" LIKE. UM. HES LITERALLY BEEN SADDLED WITH AN ANCIENT CURSE. I DONT THINK ITS FAIR TO PROJECT ITS EFFECTS ONTO HIS CHARACTER, ACTUALLY. it annoys me soooooo bad. like did they miss the parts where he tried everything he could to keep his urges under control? did they miss the horrified look he'd have on his face after he went on a killing spree he couldn't stop? it's willful ignorance, and I hate that shit!!! I hate it!!!!!

genuinely though. and maybe this is silly to say after all that rambling. I don't want to be negative here. I love my (our!!) little corner of this fandom and I genuinely unironically love this show with every fiber of my being. it's my favorite piece of media ever and maybe that's partly just recency bias but like. I had sworn off live action TV for weird personal reasons (if you go looking, I have a personal post saying I refused to reblog spn posts because I didn't want gifs of real people on my blog. lmao) and yet here I am. I love this show. I love the wincest fandom. I love my mutuals. and as soon as I finish the finale I'm probably just going to start the whole damn thing over again.

oh also SPNTRUNK I LOVE YOUR ART !!! WTF!!!! HI???? IM STILL KIND OF IN AWE LOL

[violaobanion]

Hello, Succession Anon again with my last message til I can watch more in the who-knows-when future! Ah, the family cycle of abuse pit. A trope I shall never tire of watching!

LMAO yeah, not everyone has had a chance to be terrible yet, so currently I have some characters I only feel sorry for. I imagine that will change very easily (except for the dog I saw for like 5 seconds in this ep; BEST PUPPER, 100/10, NO DRAMA FOR THEM).

Anyway, here is my liveblog! May you enjoy my ridiculous amount of rambling, and also a light scattering of screaming. And a silly amount of em-dashes to separate scenes.

———

Kendall: [lights a cig, has one puff, then stomps it out to drama walk into a building] Arresting him for littering and for being wasteful. Jail for 50 years!

(After everything else I watched in the first ep, though, this is so far down on the 'people saying/doing bad stuff' things that it'd be a footnote on Santa's naughty list.)

———

Kendall: Does anyone want to talk to their dad?

My headcanon here is that Logan sneezed and instantly went 'Hmm, sounds like I need to call one of the little shits'.

———

Logan: [says he's excited full of an emotion that expresses he'd rather watch paint dry]

I'm beginning to see why these kids have daddy issues.

———

RIP Greg in the mascot dogsuit. It must not have been pretty or smelled good in there.

Also, I completely spaced out from what Greg was saying the moment I saw a dog. PUPPY!

———

Roman: 'Hey hey, motherfuckers!' Refuses to elaborate ANYTHING except mockery. Leaves.

I don't know whether to like him or not, but I would steal his last french fry.

———

I have no idea how to comment on Logan not only knowing about his 'surprise' party but also trying to have a say in it.

Like, relatable on the part of not wanting people in my face because anxiety. But it isn't abt anxiety for Logan, it's abt control, right? Sir, a surprise party is meant to have surprises!

———

WHAT THE FUCK IS A PREEKEND?! Why can't they say Friday; Shiv, I'm with you on this.

———

Kendall casually saying he'd give a bj without knowing his dad is in the room OH GOSH THAT POOR MAN it'd be like my fam finding my smut list. I'd jump out the window instantly.

———

Tom/Connor: casually tells a kid that he's got water pumping rights and people are gonna kill each other for said water some day

SIR, WHAT THE ACTUAL F

I can't believe 'hey motherfuckers' Roman was the sane man there, but THANK FUCK HE SHUT TOM/CONNOR UP. Well, tried to.

(Edit for Clarification: Roman called Connor 'Tom' for some reason, so I got confused and just put Tom/Connor here. RIP Connor.)

———

Shiv: What's that; Date R*pe by Calvin Klein? Roman: You wish. Shiv: …'You wish'???

SHIV, WTF. 2. ROMAN, DOUBLE WTF. 3. FORGET WHAT I SAID; JAIL FOR ROMAN FOR 100 YEARS.

———

RIP Greg, gets slammed into a door the moment he meets Logan.

Currently feeling the most sorry for Greg here; if he gets pushed out of a window at any point, I'm not even gonna be surprised.

'Yeah, that's Greg, bad shit happens to him a lot. You get used to it.'

———

Logan: Where's Tom? Shiv: He's right here. Logan: Oh, well, nevermind.

Logan, you can't just murder a man like that.

———

Kendall's ex(?): I'm just hoping [her date] doesn't leave coke smeared all over the kids' iPads.

EXCUSE ME WHAT?!

Oh, that was a dig at Kendall. Uh, I'm sad for everyone now, wow.

———

Logan: In the event of my demise (hi s4), I'm adding Marcia and leaving her my seat.

WELP. THAT'S A BOMBSHELL.

Shiv: Uh, I'm gonna need my lawyers to look at this. Logan: Sure. By 4:00, ok? Logan: Also, I discussed this with Kendall, but I'm staying in power as CEO. Kendall: Wh-what? Logan: Let's eat!

I see where Roman got his 'go in, throw shit at the wall, then leave' tendencies from.

'Fuck this shit I'm out' started playing in my head as Connor left too.

———

The longer Logan is on screen, the more I start… losing emotions. He just called rehab 'the nuthouse', and is generally insulting his son.

Logan: Is that why you're paying a billion dollars for a gay little website? Kendall: It's a portfolio of online brands and digital video content.

So Logan is Succession's Elon Musk, and Kendall is his son buying Instagram.

Now Logan's egging Kendall into punching him/mocking him for nearly crying, and poor Kendall is having a breakdown in the bathroom. Good lord, I want to hug him.

———

The past few moments they've mentioned a game, drove off in SUVs, and now there are helicopters. I have no idea what is going on.

OH, IT'S A BASEBALL FIELD. Now I know what's going on. There are so many shots of Tom holding a box, and I think that's the gift he's been trying to give to Logan. I feel sorry for the dude, and I get the feeling that's gonna sum up the show: me feeling sorry for characters.

Yep, it was a gift. Logan doesn't care. Continuing to feel sorry for Tom.

———

Tom: You need any help, any advice, just don't fucking bother, ok? Just kidding! [later] I'm a terrible, terrible prick. Just kidding!

Greg: [confused and clearly has no idea wtf is going on]

Don't worry, bro, me too.

Tom: Would you kiss me?

SIR, ARE YOU TRYING TO SPEEDRUN ANY% STRANGERS TO ENEMIES TO LOVERS?!

———

Ooh, did Kendall just go straight to the media about his family? 👀👀

———

Roman: Can you hit a ball? Kid: Yeah… Roman: Great, I will give you $1mil if you hit a home run.

WELL, THAT'S NOT GONNA PUT PRESSURE ON THE KID! But dang that is a lot of money, good on you, Roman.

———

Roman: [tears up the check right in the kids face, then gives him the torn pieces]

Roman, every time I say something nice about you, you fuck it up. I'm getting a spray bottle full of water, just for you.

EVEN LOGAN WAS NICE TO THE KID! You know you fucked up when Logan was (temporarily) nicer than you.

———

Kendall: I'm gonna stuff your mouth with so much money you're gonna shit gold figurines.

So Midas kink?

Kendall: [goes into graphic detail abt gold cages and silver d*ldos]

WHEN I SAID KINK I DIDN'T MEAN I WANTED A WHOLE ASS SUMMARY ABOUT YOUR FANTASIES, KENDALL

———

…I don't even know what to say about Logan making the kid and his family sign an NDA. Like, at least maybe the kid is getting money after all, but W O W.

I should probably get multiple water spray bottles.

———

Logan: Do we have a deal? His kids: No Logan: [instantly collapses from insubordination]

WELP. EVERYTHING WENT STRAIGHT TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET, AND THIS IS ONLY S1 E1.

———

Everyone else: [chaos, drama, and depression] Frank: [resting on a chair after getting fired]

Be free, Frank. Get away from this! …OH, THE KID AND HIS FAMILY GOT TOM'S GIFT FOR LOGAN! Like, kinda happy for the kid/family 'cause they could sell that or whatever, but rip Tom. Logan loves hurting his family more than your Brand watch.

———

That's everything from my liveblog of ep 1! Sorry for only one ep liveblog, but hopefully it was an amusing read. This is gossipy hen/Succession Anon, signing off! salutes

Hi my dear anon!

Haha I love to see your liveblogging, this was a very amusing read indeed. You're observations are pretty spot on and hilarious, and it made almost nostalgic thinking about the time when I watched the shitshow (affectionately) for the first time 😌

A few comments:

Tom and/or Greg: There's a fine line between feeling sorry for and being annoyed by these two fellas. I think you're gonna cross it many times (and hopefully soon). Still love them both btw. But god. UGH!

*sigh* What would this show be without daddy issues, amarite or amarite? 😏

I would steal Roman's last french fry too 🤣

Fun fact: Roman's "you wish" at Shiv's perfume comment was unscripted, and so Shiv's reaction is actually Sarah's reaction. For a split second she falls out of character and looks at the crew. But when you don't know, it just looks like Shiv fucking baffled. I love that for her and I love Kieran's improv. It's not the last time he does that (but sadly not all his attempts make it. One of them was even too good???)

"SIR,WHAT THE ACTUAL F" is one the most accurate descriptions of Connor I've ever heard. That man is so out of touch. Send help.

Logan is the male equivalent of a Karen 🙂🔪

Frank is love, Frank is life. That man? *chef's kiss* right there

I remember last time I rewatched this (right before s4) thinking "LOGAN COULD'VE DIED IN THE FIRST EPISODE??" and then thinking what dream scenario that would have been. But oh well!

[eskumii]

Part two of yandere big bro Eren let's say reader has a secret boyfriend and one day Eren sees them on a date.

soft yandere!older brother!eren yeagar hcs (part 2) + how he reacts to you having a secret boyfriend [platonic]

TITLE: " LEARN YOUR LESSON " — navi. part one.

A/N: this took me so freakin long, i am so sorryy ToT i just got back from visiting my grandma, who's not doing so good. life can be rlly unexpected but i'm back baby!! the ending is kind of rushed bc i totally word vomit all over these hcs and can never find a good ending point lolol :( so idk sorry if it's just not that great. i hope u enjoy it anyway!

PAIRING: soft yandere!older brother!eren yeager x little sister!reader (platonic)

CHARACTERS: eren yeager (19), reader (15), reader's boyfriend (16)

☆ it's not often you meet guys your age—or anyone at all, really—inside of the little section of wall maria you live in with eren. after your disaster of an experience at the corps boot camp, you find that the trauma of attempting to befriend people has yet to leave you.

☆ you can't really recall ever making friends with anyone when you were younger; in fact, the only people you could actually consider friends are armin and mikasa, but even they get stonewalled by eren if they hang around you too often. you still don't understand why he's like that, but his overprotectiveness seems to have bred your tendency to be incredibly sneaky. now that's something you can thank him for in the very near future.

☆ of course, though, eren is naturally your closest "guy friend." you tell him everything, he's been there for everything, and he probably knows you better than you know yourself at this point. however, there is one thing you'd rather not talk to him about: your love life. you pretty much had no female influence in your life except mikasa, who somehow had even less capability of showing affection than eren, and what little memories you had of your mother were now fading into obscurity.

☆ your near non-existent social experiences leaves you lonely. you're at the age where romance should be the peak of your explorative endeavors, yet you don't have a single romantic anything under your belt. the thought of being lonely forever makes you sulk, but the day you receive an unfamiliar knock on your front door is the day you meet the end of your demise. it's the new boy from down the street.

☆ eren had stepped out to get some groceries for dinner, so that left you up to your own devices for a little bit. usually he told you to never open the door for anyone who knocks because 1.) he has a key, and 2.) if it's not him, you shouldn't be talking to them, period. something about him being concerned you'd get taken advantage of or kidnapped or murdered—he rambled on about the possibilities for like thirty minutes, you recall. anyway, it would be rude to not answer the door while someone is home, so you did the unthinkable: you opened the door.

☆ and standing before you was quite possibly the cutest boy you had ever laid your eyes on. he's a head taller than you with dark eyes and ash blonde hair, his lean form clad in modest yet stylish apparel. you're both frozen in place, staring at each other with varying degrees of embarrassment. you're suddenly all too aware of your homely pajamas and unkept hair—frankly, you assume he must think you're the ugliest thing he's ever seen.

☆ "uh, um.." he stumbles over his words. "i'm lukas roth. i, uh, just moved into the house that's, like, over there." lukas points to the once vacant house that sits at the very end of your block. renovations for that house were put on hold for so long that it remained abandoned for years, so it was surprising to hear it was finally moved into. excitement wells up in your chest at the prospect of a potential new friend.

☆ "hi, i'm [y/n]!" you stick a hand out for him to shake. "welcome to shiganshina." lukas stares at your hand, face flushing red as he moves to grab it. his hand is large and warm and you're totally internally freaking out at the skinship. you're basically holding hands! though as quick as it happens, it's over, and lukas is back to looking frazzled. he honestly looks like he wants to run away.

☆ "my mom wanted me to give the neighbors these." he sheepishly pulls out a bag of brightly decorated sugar cookies from behind his back, "uh, i hope you like them..."

☆ you're literally ascending. graciously taking the bag of confectionary treats from him, you excitedly begin to engage in conversation, completely disregarding your former shame of your disheveled appearance. he seems to loosen up after a bit of back and forth, thankfully.

☆ your small talk ends abruptly when you hear a woman's voice calling for lukas down the street. he bids you goodbye with a charming smile and promises to visit you again sometime (he stresses the "only if you want, though..." very shyly). the grin on your face is telling and you, of course, welcome it with vigor.

☆ as if on cue, eren emerges from the opposite side of the street. there's no time to duck back inside as he's already spotted you, and he immediately looks like he's going to chew you out with the way a dark look passes over his features.

☆ "who was that?" eren asks, glaring holes into the back of lukas's head as he walks down the block to his own house. "don't talk to weirdos when i'm not home. didn't i tell you not to open the door if it's not me?" you roll your eyes at his annoying demands and step aside so he can come in. he's carrying a bag of vegetables judging by the stems of green onion that peek over the top.

☆ you wait until lukas disappears from your view before you shut the door completely. you gush through a brief recount of the short conversation you shared with him, clasping your hands together excitedly. you even tell eren about how he asked to hang out (which you regret almost immediately after he sends you a sharp, unforgiving look). it just that you've never heard someone say that to you like, ever, so it's only natural that you can hardly contain yourself.

☆ now wait a minute, he asked you to what? eren watches with an exasperated deadpan as you practically float around the room in bliss, the cutely ribboned bag of sugar cookies with pink frosting dangling from your hands. he knew this part of your adolescence would come at some point, just not now. as much as he hates being the bad guy, there's no one else around who'll "crack the whip," so the speak. especially when it comes to boys and dating.

☆ "you're not hanging out with that boy, [y/n]." eren sets the bag of groceries down on the kitchen counter then leans against it with his arms crossed. you open your mouth to argue but you can't even get a breath in before he cuts you off. "no. that's final. you hear me?"

☆ you sit through dinner mumbling under your breath, but eren pays you no mind. is he being irrational? well, he doesn't deny it. a lot of things he does may seem irrational, but there's always a method to his madness. eren knows how boys are at your age and if they're anything like he was, they can only pursue you romantically over his dead body.

☆ as he expected, you don't bring it up for the rest of the night or even the rest of the week. all is well in paradise it seems, and the earth is still spinning on its intended axis. you're acting normally, joking around with him normally, and just... being you normally. honestly, it's a cause to be cautious—eren would be lying if he said he didn't at least somewhat expect an outburst or pushback of some sort. you are his sister after all, the hard headedness and rebellion runs in the blood.

☆ eren begins to grow kind of suspicious of your behavior. you're going outside a lot more with the excuse of doing laundry down at the river (even though you'll be carrying a basket that clearly has like two socks that don't even match) or needing some fresh air. he's not necessarily opposed to you going outside, just as long as he knows exactly where you're going and if it's an area that's within walking distance. eren pretends to find it incredibly bothersome if you were to wander off somewhere unfamiliar, but really that kind of thing makes him panic.

☆ and it's not like you're really breaking any of the rules he's given you. you come back before your curfew and you make sure to tell him where you'll be and for how long. he's at a loss, really. there's a nagging feeling in his gut that tells him you're up to something. however, unless he can find some solid evidence that proves you've been breaking the rules, he can't punish you without looking like an idiot.

☆ on one unfortunate day, eren follows you. it was bound to happen, of course, especially when the excuses you give him get lamer and lamer. nothing can bypass his ultra instincts. so right after you bid him goodbye and the front door shuts behind you, he leaves through the back and skillfully tails behind you. and to his utter and complete surprise, you don't go to the river. no, you don't even leave the block.

☆ instead of going down the path that leads to the river, you stop in front of lupin or luca's house (he hasn't even bothered to remember the kid's name) and knock on the door. you're giddily rocking on the balls of your feet, laundry basket secured between your arm and waist. not even a few breaths later, the door swings open and the boy he saw a while back leans down and kisses you on the mouth.

☆ yeah, okay, now he's furious.

☆ let's just say that eren is not happy with you. he's more frustrated at the fact that you lied to him rather than you having a boyfriend. which is almost equally as bad but lying to him is still worse. he's sort of hurt that you didn't seem to feel comfortable enough to tell him about your little relationship (of course he would have opposed it but at least it's miles better than going behind his back). it looks like the only reasonable explanation for your behavior is that this boy has been influencing you to do these things and betray his trust.

☆ that night, eren is waiting for you in the living room. he's seated on the couch with his arms crossed and legs folded, looking very, very upset. you already know what it's about, but you're totally prepared this time. you won't let him interfere with your love life—you refuse.

☆ you and eren engage in yet another argument. you're screaming at the top of your lungs about how controlling he is and how you just want him to leave you alone for once. he's yelling about how boys are no good and that lukas will just break your heart once he gets bored of you. it hurts your feelings and ends with you locking yourself in your room while eren apologizes, somewhat disingenuously, through the door.

☆ despite your passionate efforts, your theatrics don't work. look, honestly, you were foolish to think you could win against eren. you're not aware, but he's already pulled some strings and now the roths' are conveniently needed somewhere in Wall Sina. that boy is no good for you; it's become evident in the way you're acting.

☆ within the next few days, you receive the sudden news that lukas is moving away again. he doesn't tell you why or where he's going, but he looks obviously distraught and annoyed. you try to visit him but whenever you do, no one answers the door anymore. one time you had seen him down by the river but when you called out to him, he ignored your existence entirely and walked away. you're completely heartbroken from his negligence and silence.

☆ once again, eren takes the upper hand. he'll bring you sweets and comfort foods to soothe the heart that he inadvertently broke. you cry over lukas for a while but eren is there to cheer you up. you don't even get a chance to say goodbye to him when he moves the next week, only allowed to watch through shades of the window as he disappears into the horizon. you feel as though he's taken a part of your heart with him.

☆ eren told you not to hang out with that boy, but you did it anyway. he was right. and he hopes that, this time, you've learned your lesson.