#this doesn't mean anything i just quite truthfully blacked out and recounted all of destiel because i have a mental illness

[bijoharvelle]

i noticed a pattern (almost, except for season 7, 8 &12) and went promptly insane [something something three being a sacred number in christianity because of the trinity]

403 in the beginning - cas takes dean back in time and when dean sees the deal with azazel made, cas gives him the most heartbreakingly tender look

503 free to be you and me - cas and dean attempt to find raphael together, dean takes cas to a brothel and laughs like he means it for the first time in years

603 the third man - cas finally returns to the boys and informs them (and us) that he and dean share a profound bond

903 i’m no angel - cas is human and dean comes to his rescue and look utterly shattered when he’s killed, and utterly shattered when he has to throw cas out of the bunker

1003 soul survivor - cas pushes on to save dean even though he’s dying and eventually uses his grace on dean, later dean tells cas he’s “looking good” and also that he’s glad cas is there

1103 bad seed - dean defends cas’s very bad car, wraps a blanket around cas for comfort, dean. cradles. cas’s head. in his hands. so gently. i will never recover from this scene, truly.

1303 patience - dean is in deep throes of widower arc (drinking to cope, missouri tells him she’s sorry for his loss, etc), he and sam fight about jack, dean reveals that the big reason he doesn’t trust jack is because he blames jack for cas’s death

1403 the scar - dean and cas have The most romantic reunion at the beginning, dean says he needs a shower and pOINTS AT CAS (??????),  cas touches the scar on dean’s arm giving us all kind of visual parallels to cas’s handprint brand

1503 the rupture - the culmination of the divorce arc, cas leaves to “move on”