#this could honestly be angstier but i got lazy so this is what y'all get

[dykeninthdoctor]

made up fic title: The Third Thursday of January

Edwin Jarvis dies on January 24, 1996.

-

It’s raining outside, drops hitting the metal bars of their fire escape, the glass of their windows, the roof of their apartment, and cold too, so the heat’s on full blast. Jim’s in the kitchen, slicing out-of-season peaches from the grocery store to make his momma’s cobbler, even though they were $1.19 more expensive than they would be during the summer. Tony’s on their thrifted couch, socked feet tucked underneath him as he skims through different documents for S.I. Both of them are wearing two layers of sweaters, hand-knitted by Momma Robbie, and it’s safe and warm and cozy inside, even as thunder rumbles outside.

The phone rings, and Tony rolls off the couch to answer it, the cap of his pen still in his mouth. Jim shakes his head, reaching across the kitchen counter to take it out, cupping Tony’s face for a brief second before letting his hand fall. Tony blows him a kiss as he picks up the phone, hip resting against the counter.

“Hello? Oh–Ana!”

And then his face crumples.

Jim’s fast enough to catch him before he falls.

-

Edwin Jarvis dies on January 24, 1996.

Tony Stark finds out on January 25, 1996.  

Jim Rhodes holds him while he cries.

-

“He’s gone–“ Tony whispers, voice choked and hollow and broken. “He’s gone, Rhodey–he’s gone and I didn’t get to say goodbye and I didn’t get to–to do anything, he’s just–he just left me. He left me. He–“

A sob wracks his body, and Jim holds him tighter.

“I don’t–I don’t know what to do, he was–he was–“

“He was your Jarvis,” Jim says softly, because father doesn’t begin to describe the relationship Tony had with Edwin, not when Howard goes hand in hand with father.

“Jarvis,” Tony sobs.

-

Grief is complicated. Tony is complicated. Pairing the two is hard.

Jim’s there anyway.

Some days, Tony cries uncontrollably, and then seconds later, wipes it all away with a single blink.

Other days, Tony doesn’t cry at all.

Rainy days are the hardest.

Jim’s there anyway.