#this close to figuring out how to make gifs from yt videos but not actually that close

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Gladly | Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Modern AU

Summary: you receive an unexpected call while on a very well-needed vacation.

Request: do you listen to asmr boyfriend roleplay (on yt)? Some of them would be great as fics.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, surely language, fluff, mentions of panic and anxiety, like a single sexual mention.

Based off these YouTube videos: one two | Gif credit @sebastiansource

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

Slipping his cellphone into his back pocket, Bucky took a seat on a stool. The bar wasn’t too crowded anymore yet the snippets of chatter, the clinking of glasses and the sounds of pool balls clashing livened up the place.

Sam and Steve hadn’t stopped teasing him since he said he’d call his friend. Sam couldn’t shut up about it, making question after question.

“You guys aren’t going to let this go, huh?” Bucky sighed heavily, motioning for them to allow him to take his shot. His friends watched him in expectancy. “Man,” he sighed. “Yes, I have feelings for her.”

“I knew it!”

“Shut up, Wilson,” Bucky barked.

Steve stifled a laugh, “I did too, Buck.”

“Is it that obvious?” He asked, scared of their answer. Both his friends nodded their heads. “I hope she hasn’t noticed, she’s my best friend! No offense to you guys but she’s... just different.”

Bucky asked for a beer, wanting to have something in his hands, needing it before going insane. Steve must’ve known what it meant because he stopped Sam from pressuring Bucky to continue speaking. Once the bottle was in his grasp and he had taken a sip, he told them the rest.

“I can be actually me with her and not feel like I have to hold back like how I am right now with you but better because with her it happens always and I’ve never felt that with other people, that’s a big reason why I like her. I’m comfortable being me, she makes me like myself and it doesn’t feel right if I don’t talk to her, if I don’t see her....”

“Why don’t you tell her?” Steve inquired as to if the solution was in Bucky’s hands. Oh, how Bucky wished.

Every time people said the two of you should date he had to play coy when the only thing he wanted was to tell you that he was up for it if you wanted, that he wanted to give you the world if you let him. If only it was that easy.

“I don’t wanna ruin what we have, Stevie. It’s a good thing. Imagine if she doesn’t feel the same?” Bucky changed his voice to emphasize, “hey, best friend who I wanna secretly make out with! Light of my eyes! Highlight of my existence!” He traced the bottle up and down with his index and middle fingers, catching its sweat. “You see what I’m getting at here? I’ve thought of laying it all out on the table and just— I’m scared of losing her. It’s my worst nightmare. We have a good connection, why would I do anything to jeopardize that when she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me?” He choked up at the end, inwardly cursing for opening up that much.

“You okay?” Steve and Sam asked at the same time.

“I’m fine,” Bucky rasped, “I’m gonna take a cab home.” He withdrew his cellphone, sobering up upon looking at the screen “shit! Oh, fuck!”

“What did you do, dumbass?”

“Shut the fuck up, Wilson!” He exclaimed, in panic.

Fuck, how he could be so dumb to butt-dial you? Putting the phone on his ear, he swallowed saliva. “Uh... hi.” A nervous laugh escaped him. “Uhm, how much of that did you hear?”

You sat up on the bed, placing your free hand on your chest as the beating of your heart thickened to the point where you were 40% sure you were in the brink of a panic attack out of how much adrenaline was pumping through your veins. Still, you confessed, “all of it.

“Great,” he gritted, “fucking great.”

“Is it true?” You mumbled the question, not wanting to get ideas into your head.

“Every word,” he breathed.

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

“How you feel,” you instructed him, looking up at the yellow sunray hitting the ceiling due to the window’s angle.

Bucky breathed a laugh, “I’m in love with you.”

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

Bucky cursed under his breath. He was the biggest dumbass he knew, not even Sam was at his level of stupidity. He was sure now the spectrum for dumbassery would be from one to Bucky and he had to learn how to live with it.

He always forgot to do things, you often told him he needed to be more organized — he was getting better but he had a long way to go. He should’ve bought that spare phone charger to keep in the car like you had told him to, he also should’ve changed his car’s battery like you also had told him to. And because he hadn’t done what you told him, because he was a dumbass, you were trapped in the middle of nowhere in a dead car.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, closing the door as he got back into the car, “I imagine this isn’t how you wanted your night back to go.”

You let out a small laugh, “it’s okay.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No, it’s not your fault.”

He shrugged, “I dunno, part of me thinks you are. At least I am mad at myself.”

“That’s enough punishment, Bucky. Besides, the night is nice.”

It truly was, the weather wasn’t too chilly nor warm at all. Although you were in the middle of nowhere you weren’t bothered, you never got to be surrounded by so much nature, there were even fireflies that you hadn’t seen since you were a teenager.

There wasn’t anyone you would rather be stuck in the middle of nowhere than with Bucky. It probably was a good thing that you were, that way the topic couldn’t be avoided.

You had been anxious to get back after his call. You still didn’t quite believe it to be true, what could he have seen in you? A part of you thought he had been talking about someone else and had lied to you to spare your feelings — it wouldn’t be the first time someone feigned being attracted to you, that seemed to be a common experience in fat folks.

“Are we acknowledging the elephant in the room?”

Bucky stuttered, swallowing the excess of saliva he had started producing out of nervousness when the car died. “I was hoping you wouldn’t want to talk about that. I’m scared of what’s going to happen if we do.”

“Why? What do you want?”

“What do you mean?”

You clarified, “what do you want from me?”

“It’s... hard not to think about you. I don’t mean it sexually— I mean,” he huffed, “that too, but I’m talking about your feelings. What you want, what you need, how awkward this is, do you hate me? Are you moving out of the country because you don’t want to have me near you? I wouldn’t blame you—“ he stopped himself to take a breath, he was sure you wouldn’t judge him.

Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he had been so nervous, the first time he had to go to the doctor by himself was close, after all, he remembered being terrified, but that had been different. His happiness hadn’t depended on that, or the most important person in his life, or his motivation to put up with himself and others. It wasn’t always easy for him to stay focused, how messy the world was didn’t help, but you always had a way of encouraging him — to be better, kinder, more patient, to sometimes not be too selfless, to give his best.

“I wanna be your boyfriend,” he dared to let it out. All of it. “I want to do cute coupley shit with you, hold your hand, have my arm around you all the time, kiss the back of your hand while we drive like in the movies and go on dates and do romantic stuff for you. Prepare a candlelit dinner that I cooked myself after I put up with Sam’s cooking lessons because my cuisine sucks at the moment. And like... drive you to work or pick you up from work and go visit your parents with you and cuddle you at night and...” he breathed in, deeply, hoping he hadn’t fucked it all up. “That’s what I want.”

“I want that too,”

“Don’t just say that, (Y/N). You don’t have to spare my feelings.”

“James,” you said sternly. He finally looked at you in the eyes. “I want you. I feel the same way as you.”

“Since when?!” He blurted.

“Since the beginning.” Who wouldn’t have fallen for him upon merely meeting him? Bucky was gorgeous and so nice one thought to be dreaming when in his presence.

“Are you fucking kidding me? All this time all I had to do was tell you?”

You nodded, pursing your lips to keep your laugh in for you didn’t want him to think you were making fun of him.

“I was too scared to tell you how I felt. I love you, being friends is awesome but this is not platonic love, it hasn’t been for a long time. I figured that if I fucked it up there was no going back and I didn’t want to lose you, that’s why I waited so long”

“You technically didn’t—“

He shushed you. “I know, I know it was an accident. Don’t remind me. I think I’m gonna pass out soon from the adrenaline I’m feeling, is that normal? I just feel so happy!”

“Are you drunk again?”

“No. I am always happy with you but right now I’m at another level.” He said it easily like he was talking about the weather.

You marveled at it. How open he was with you — you shouldn’t have been surprised after everything you had heard him say to and about you, yet there you were in sheer awe of how comfortable he was around you, how free.

He cleared his throat. “Uhmmm... this might be awkward, and you can say no, but can I kiss you?” You nodded, saying yes verbally. Bucky continued talking, “ I’ve been nonstop thinking about kissing you since I saw you get off the plane. Are you sure? You’re not doing this just to patronize me?”

You were about to explode. “Kiss me already, Barnes.”

He leaned in, hovering over the console of the car. Bucky placed his hand on the side of your face, he had the intention of teasing you but he didn’t have the patience himself at that moment. He covered your lips with his, heavily so, devouring your mouth as he kissed you with everything he had to give. You kissed back as passionately, taking him by the collar of his jacket.

“Does this mean we’re a thing now? I don’t know,” he asked through a huff, “I wasn’t expecting this to happen. I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. I did not plan for this.”

“Just kiss me again.”

“Gladly.”