#this blog isn't dead i'm just busy becoming a summer blog

[mood2you]

Blog 10: Books from the 00's

I'm reading Late Bloomer by Fern Michaels, you can rely on her for that fantasy of suddenly becoming very rich. In this book Cadwell Jordan moves back to her hometown to take care of her retired actress grandmother, who gets a lot better just by having her in her life again after raising her for 3 years when her parents fled after a mysterious accident. It's kind of like It I guess with no clown and 300 pages, I mean I think it should be longer. I mean I know saying "why isn't a reverse harem of Bev Ed, Ned, and Fred" it's like well, it simply isn't that! Get a grip! Read the summary! When they said "oh, and Ed is single too," they were kidding! I tried Name of the Wind but I might not continue it. I picked up Dead Until Dark Again and it's funny how different the second half is from the first half! Well I actually started this in March, um, and it's a bit too action packed, it sort of feels like 3 unrelated plots are happening, typical reality for someone like Sookie Stackhouse, the murder equivalent of your cat getting sick again as there is a new hire at work and you've lost your flipflops. to make any sense due to the long stretches of time I've inserted into it, the romance is cute.

Dead Until Dark fits the prompt of "building on the cover" (the burning down vampire house ;; from September 2022 Bookopoly, which I was running for myself this month, because I still have the board and it's fun. Well you know what Becca just announced: Spookoplothon, October Bookoplothon! And wouldn't you know it Dead Until Dark fits the parallel prompt on the new board: purple!

I'm also reading Darius the Great is Not Okay, and I keep crying about it. It's about highschool stuff like feeling left out and trying to talk to your dad. It is not a stupid 00's book. And I have the sequel!

On Friday I went swimming, which really was great. I'm always complaining now, this week, yesterday, because it's only high 80's. Which is very hot in the sun, on a calm, still day, with increasing humidity. Is that good swimming weather? It's not the weather I'm complaining about, it's how much work goes into swimming. Changing, getting towels, getting drinks, drying off, and so on... Also, I prepared wrongly for this summer. This week in particular, last year, was 110 and on fire, and I was very stressed out because I didn't want to have to evacuate all the animals alone. In June it was 80's and always rained and I basically threw that away, sleeping through it. And this week it's finally back to 80's. It was only 105 those two days I made sure to complain about it.

On Saturday I picked up another book by F. Paul Wilson for Halloween to pair with Midnight Mass a friend gave me. This book is The Tomb, it's like Three For The Money which I read last week, instead of bounty hunters it's a PI looking for, so far, a creepy looking necklace and a missing person his ex's mother. I think PI's dislike cops more bounty hunters but cops get in the way of either. It is dissimilar in that it's from 1984 and Three To Get Deadly is from the 00's.

On Sunday I had stewed pork. On Monday I watched the big game. On Tuesday I swung by Friends of the Library to get Wicked Business because I liked Three To Get Deadly alright and so I'm giving Lizzie and Diesel another shot. Basically this week is all about stupid books from the 00's. Incredibly I have a book about the Millenium Meltdown of computers bricking themselves (or worse) at midnight on 2000, but the kicker is it's from 1998 so it's not about the hysteria, it's just conspiracy theories about microchips, I'll have to start that too since some of these books are actually on the cusp.

Weirdly I'm set up nicely to try that challenge I had of reading (finishing) one book a day, maybe start on the 15.

[clonewarsarchives]

Hello there! I don’t really know if you can help me out here, but I remember hearing about this comic (legends I think) for Clone Wars. Kit Fisto and Ahsoka were visiting a clone trooper in a medbay; he’d lost his legs, and Kit wanted to talk to him. Ahsoka wasn’t too thrilled. The clone then tells the story of how he lost his legs, along with all of his brothers. Is there any way you could find that comic, because I have noooo idea where to look :/

Gerenal Kenobi!

Hi! Usually obscure things like this are from the magazine comics. A quick search on Kit Fisto's Legends Wookieepedia page tells me what I need.

"A Trooper's Tale"

The Clone Wars Magazine UK #6.8 / US #5

Writer: Robin Etherington

Artist: Andres Ponce

Named Clones: 182nd Legion's scout squad: Sergeant Marrt and Trooper Chatter, Knuckles and Recon.

Fun facts: "Great Kamino!", field burial, FEX-M3 nerve gas grenade (banned)

[lancetuckershairgel]

Summmary: Chris uncovers some unsettling truths about Lucy's home life. Lucy becomes angry with Chris.

Word Count: 1,560

Warnings: language, mentions of abuse of a minor

Tag List: @southernbell91 @marvelgirl7 @anxiousamandapanda @book-dragon-13 @jobean12-blog @loricameback @spacemansam @randomfandompenguin @louisianaspell (If you wish to be added or removed in the tag list for this, let me know)

"Leave me alone!"  Lucy yelled as she jerked away from Miss Alexander's reach. "God, can you people not be prison wardens for like five minutes?! Fuck"

"Lucy!" 

The teenager ignored her superior and stir.ed to her class, taking her seat. The Language Arts teacher raised her eyebrows but continued with the lesson, choosing not to fight the battle today. It was Monday and everyone hated Monday's. Especially Chris who was now making his way toward the classroom. He entered, apologizing to the teacher for interrupting, and asked Lucy to join him in the hallway. Lucy ignored him, hoping he'd just leave and glared from underneath her hair covered face as he approached desk. 

"I'm not asking this time. Get up."

Again, the girl didn't reply. Chris sighed,  hating what was to come next. All part of the job, but the riskiest part. Chris stood behind her desk and reached his arms under hers, pulling her up from her desk. She didn't fight him, instead she became dead weight, forcing him to drag her out into the hallway. Waiting for them was the principal, the vice principal,  and the school counselor. 

"Lucy, you were asked repeatedly to remove your hood. You know the rules. No head coverings of any kind inside the school."

"Are you gonna make Inya take her headscarf off?" Lucy grumbled 

"That's different. She has religious exemption."

"Well I have exemption too under the fact that I don't want to."

"Lucy."

Chris was behind her and his voice made her aware of his presence, her stance instantly becoming defensive. 

"Take your hood off and drop the attitude."

"Or what Chris?" Lucy turned toward him, her tone aggressive "You gonna take me down? Cuff me and break my arm?" 

"That's not...have you been reading the news again?"

"No, but all you cops are the same."

Chris pinches the bridge of his nose. 

"Just one day, please, could you not be difficult? I was in the middle of a-" 

"Fine!" 

Lucy's sudden scream made the adults jump, taken aback, but not Chris. He remained calm, watching the girl as she reached up and yanked the hood away from her face and pushed her hair away. Soft gasps littered the air as the bruises on Lucy's face and neck were revealed. 

"Lucy, what happened? Are you alright?" Ms Broman, the counselor, asked 

"Oh, now you care?! Five minutes ago you didn't give a shit why I was wearing my hood, you just wanted me to comply to your stupid rules." 

She glared at the women before turning to glance up at Chris.

"Well?"

Chris didn't know what to say. He was shocked, which surprised him. He always had a feeling that something was going on at home, but seeing the proof shook his core. 

"We should go to my office." Ms Broman suggested 

"I just want to go back to class." 

"Lucy, we should talk about this." Chris managed to say

"Talk about what? I got my ass kicked this weekend, big deal. I just want to do my work."

"Who did this? Was it a student?"

"No."

"Your father?"

"Why can't you people leave me alone?!" Lucy cried, pushing past the staff and running up the hallway. 

They were dumbfounded, all standing there looking at each other as they wondered what to do next. 

"I'll talk to her, figure this out." Chris sighed 

"Good. She listens to you." Ms Broman nodded in agreement "We're really going to miss the Lucy Whisperer when you leave."

Chris chuckled before they dispersed. He knew where Lucy would be hiding and sure enough he found her in his office, curled in the saucer chair, her hood pulled tight over her head. 

"Luce?" Chris sat on the edge of his desk "You ok, kiddo?" 

"I'm fine." 

"Who hurt you?" 

No response. 

"Lucy? Did your dad do this?" 

Nothing. 

"I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

"Ha!" Lucy's laugh dripped with sarcasm "Help? How can you help? Call the child services people?"

"I'm required by law to call them if there's a child that needs-" 

"Needs what? An even worse ass beating? You think this is the first time something like this has happened? Every time some grownup tells me they're going to help, then they call the cops. Cops come, old man gets out of trouble, and I get it ten times worse. So why don't you help by minding your business." 

Chris spent the rest of the day trying to convince Lucy to let him make the call but she begged and pleaded until he relented and raises his hands. 

"Fine. I could lose my job, you know."

"Just say you took care of it."

Chris couldn't sleep that night. Every time he  closed his eyes all he could see was Lucy and the bruises. Guilt laid heavy in him and he knew he should make the call but he also knew how much damage it could do. The judicial system was so backwards, and the department of family and children services didn't like to take kids out of their homes,  even with solid proof. The next morning Chris went into the school feeling like a zombie and he was sure that his unkempt hair and baggy eyes showed that he had a rough night. Instead of going to his office he went to the hallways, looking for Lucy. He found her trying to threaten another kid into giving her his breakfast but she stopped when she saw Chris. 

"Hey, kiddo. You okay?" 

She jerked away from him, ignoring his question and storming off to her class. The entire day went by without a word from Lucy's teachers, and he didn't know if he should be worried or relieved. As he finished up a last minute document for the ROTC speech he was giving the next day,  a knock on his door caused him to stop. 

"Come in."

Ms Broman walked in with concern written across her usually cheerful expression. 

"Have a seat. Is everything okay?"

"No, not really. Lucy's current situation is alarming."

"Certainly."

"I asked around for a bit of Intel on her and I'm not liking what I'm hearing. She refused to write an assignment last week, which you know isn't like her, about her family. Did you know that throughout the entire school year she's not once eaten a meal here?"

"I didn't know that." 

"I asked the lunch staff and it turns out there's not a dime in her account. Hasn't been all year. Students say that she threatens them for food."

"Explains this morning." Chris thought to himself as he processed the information "What do we know about her parents? Anything?"

"I pulled her file, she moved her over summer, her mother died four years ago. No one has ever seen or talked to the father." 

"Past records from the previous schools?"

"That only shows her grades and any incidents. There weren't any alarming ones, but she did get suspended in middle school for selling slime on campus." 

"Slime? That doesn't seem like something she'd do." 

Chris made a few notes and finished his conversation with the counselor. He went home for the day, still unable to focus on anything other than Lucy. 

The next morning he was surprised to see Lucy waiting for him in front of his office door, arms crossed. 

"Good morning." He greeted her with a soft smile as he unlocked the door and gestured for her to come in "How are you today?"

"Cut the shit, Chris." She spat, glaring at him "You're the fakest person I've ever met, you know that?" 

"What do you mean?" Chris took a sip of his coffee as he looked at her 

Lucy uncrossed her arms and waved the flier she had been holding in his face 

"Goodbye Rally? You want to explain?"

"The school wants to hold a goodby for me on Friday.  Not my kinda thing, but not my choice." 

"So you're leaving?"

"I am. I had to get a new job that works better for my schedule." 

"Were you planning on telling me?" 

"Oh, you care?" 

"Fuck you." 

Tears filled Lucy's eyes, her face red with frustration. 

"Lucy…"

"It's because of me isn't it?"

"What? No, Luce, that's not it at all"

"Then why?! Why leave somewhere you're needed? These kids, the ones you mentor, the ROTC kids you work with. They need you."

Chris frowned, his gut feeling as if it had been punched. He didn't want to leave his job at the high school, but if he ever wanted to finish his night classes and get his counseling degree, he had to.

"They're bringing in a new resource officer. I know her and she'll do a gild job with everyone."

"You can't leave." Tears streamed down Lucy's face "Please. I promise I won't cause any more trouble, I won't talk back or cuss ever again."

"Lucy, this has nothing to do with you." 

"You don't care, do you? This is just a paycheck for you, you don't care what happens to us. Fucking liar."

Chris started to reply but was cut off by Lucy balling up the flier and throwing it in his face. She stormed out, slamming the door closed behind her. Chris sat down in his chair and buried his face in his hands, groaning. 

[shapeofbones]

02/04/22

so i've decided to start a stress free blog for thoughts, rants, projects, updates etc.

i've tried to start a blog for a long time but i've never succeeded bc i either made it so formal to the point where it was like writing personal essays, or i just ghosted it.

anyways i'm a high school junior and i'm pretty busy so this might become a monthly thing. i'm quite disorganized so i have thoughts scribbled all over the place (notion, notebooks, docs, discord) and i'm just adding to that collection.

but this is a stress-free environment so...!!

updates for 2022 so far

january 9-15: attended youngarts week! so phenomenal and i've talked a lot about this elsewhere so i'm not gonna ramble again. but definitely such a valuable community and place to grow. thank you nicole for giving me so much inspiration. <3 yay poetry i guess?!?! always thinking about wildness and radical suggestions too. ngl i felt intimidated by everyone's energy as an introvert but i met ppl who would randomly text me about kdramas and game pigeon so I LOVE UUU! started a skincare routine too, discreetly.

mid jan: caught up with school work mostly, spent lots of time studying for compsci... i need an A in that class... but i oddly have lots of free time to watch kdramas and play games? i've developed an unusual (but not suprising) addiction to candy crush and this water filtering game.

late jan: went to the cardiologist and luckily my heart isn't too bad but my blood cholesterol levels are abnormally high. gonna cry. watched true beauty like 3 more times and i fall in love with eunwoo every single time, smiling like a crazed gal. astro's songs are actually really good and i've been obsessed with eVeRy song for this entire month.

early feb: still not very busy, and that gives me chills because i feel like i should be dying at this point. told mr v that ap lang was the easiest (least time consuming) english class so far and he was shocked. finished our beloeved summer and started all of us are dead. i thought i'd hate zombie movies (first one and counting!) but i actually really like this one. i am trying to eat less sugar and it worked until today (feb 4) when i ate 6 girl scout cookies. birthday coming soon! means i'm 18 and will get a paypal account.

writing news so far: lynne thompson called! i'm working on publishing my chapbook manuscript and miye's doing the cover art yay!!! also wrote 2 poems, one's a ghazal. talking about brokenness and form with nicole. ran lumiere's contest and received 1500+ pieces. also wrote half of a flash fiction piece. did an interview about writing and youngarts with elyse! i also started thinking about future collection ideas (apologies, motion, abundance), and i'm really fascinated by the intersection between antithetical things (abundance vs. absence, endings vs. beginnings, loss vs. reunion, motion vs. static, wholness vs. brokenness) and how they complement each other more than repel.

random thoughts: gotta start studying for aps sometime soon // still thinking about crying in h mart, and crying // i should watch train to busan soon // my parents and sis are so obnoxiously noisy i can't bear it anymore... gives me chest pain // starting to like mitski more! // why am i so bad at reading? // eunwoo is so sexy and his voice/face is calming. calm polar bear vibes. // i feel like i'm gender fluid... really contemplating this these days.

looking forward:

i want to write a collection of poems as a personal project. not for publication though.

i want to go exploring around LA, especially korean-american imprints in this city like koreatown. wanna go out with some friends, old and new. like my band friends and maybe multi friends. learn and experience culture!

i wanna live a youtuber lifestyle (think minimalism, vegetarian, fashion revamping, makeup) but i think i'll save this till end of college apps next year.

gotta really make an ap study plan. there's 3 months left.

i'm getting $3,000 from youngarts and i want to use that well. really wanna travel but i don't think that's possible with covid. i'd buy lots of fashion items but also it seems like a waste.