#this ask was tough because i kept wanting to get into the Backstory Weeds but it was like 'no stop that's off-topic. go back to betrayal' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

49scribes-a · 7 years ago

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Never not gonna hate that bitch

Man I would'a punched her

Gottarun gottarun gottarun

[Nate voice] LOLBYE

I GOT STUCK. THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME.

*singing* gotta fucking ruuun

Oh god– I’M LEAVING THIS PLACE.

You guys are a bunch of assholes, I don’t wanna hang out with you.

RUN FOREST RUUUUN.

Sully is A Good. A dirty, but A Good.

Man I wouldn’t have gotten back up after that.

“We’re safe here”. Are we really?

You try to take that from me I’m gonna break this bottle over your head, Sully.

“You must be at least Level 4 to unlock tragic backstory.” And by Level 4 we mean A Thief’s End.

You miss the tit and ass commetary that much?

No I don’t miss it.

Be The Squirrel.

Very big squirrel.

Very destructive like a squirrel.

Chloe asking the real questions.

Wow, that was a big ass rat.

Oh, rest in peace Cutter.

Midair ragdoll. Nice.

I really wish I had the Evil Within 2 cuz then I’d be screaming all the time.

No, no, no, no, I don’t wanna go down the creepy hallway.

Totally want to go down the creepy hallway don’t lie

Oh fuck spiders.

THE SPIDERS. I REMEMbER THE SPIDERS.

KITTY.

*meows at the kitty*

MROW.

I’m the monkey. Of course.

Monkey man.

What is this, Twilight?

Seriously what was with all the monkey comments in twilight?

“I know what you really are.” “Say it–” “*whispers* MONKEY MAN.”

Just chokes him.

Kinky.

I can’t believe King Cross is in this game.

Fuck King Cross.

Lavi sneaking his way into my commentary smh

Damn I took out mine quicker, Cutter. Did you see how I swung the shIT out of him and he ragdolled?

Since when does Nate do anything quietly?

Nope. Denied.

That fucking smug face.

Weeeeee have a nice nap.

They gon’ sleep gud

There it is. SPIDER IN A JAR. Stupid spider. Dear lord.

That godly cat sense.

Squirrel game not strong enough.

ITS MINE NOW.

I took the wrong bus going to class and I wound up in this HELLA fancy street. Imma go back, its hella aesthetic.

“Bnaca”. WOW YOU MISPELLED MY NAME KIT. WHAT HTE HELL. BANNED.

The other Bianca where I work is Blanch, now you bianca are Bnaca.

I’m sexually attracted to a library *finger guns*

Not a phrase I ever thought I’d read with my own two eyes.

(please don’t take me seriously… but it really is a hella nice library.

Too late I already took it seriously. You’ll forever be known to me as That Library Fucker.

Hmmmmm…. title I will gladly wear. It is better than my last one.

Dare I even ask what your last one was?

mY DAD JUST CAME BACK HOME AND I THOUGHT WE WERE BEING ROBBED AND I ALMOST HAD A FUCKING HEART ATTACK. I WAS REACHING FOR MY KNIFE AND EVERYTHING. I WAS GONNA STEALTH ATTACK THEIR ASS IF WE WERE.

He just… spread his ass cheeks wide open for that death.

This assholes gonna get it. Gonna get fucking clipped.

This asshole’s gonna get it – in the asshole.

“That wasn’t necessary” I don’t know what you’re talking about. That was completely necessary.

Tfw ur a paranoid fuck and have a mental map of hiding places on your route home.

I don’t plan hiding places, I plot environmental hazard spots.

I would have just led him into traffic tbh. I’m a dick that way.

Catch me taking random and increasingly dangerous routes.

When I opened my eyes, I was on the road and bleeding.

To be fair, I dented the pole with my face. So it was a tie.

Didn’t go to the hospital though. I was 8. I was tough. We went on vacation the next day.

*/Pyromania intensifies/*

I don’t think Doug is gonna like this place.

JUST AS LONG AS HE’S NOT THE ONE ON FIRE.

[Lavi voice] :3c

Flirting, Lavi style: Light them on fire

Man that’s actually kind of a weird thing to say when you remember how many things and people Lavi has lit on fire.

Technically everything Lavi has lit on fire have been Akuma so does that count?

You forget this is Lavi.

Lavi’s a demon fucker – More news at 10.

Things Lavi has lit on fire: Doug. Krory. Allen. Road. Tyki. Billions of Akuma. What a slut.

HE ALSO LIT THE EARL ON FIRE.

I could say something about him lighting the Earl on fire but… I w on ’t.

I DID NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT, KIT.

He’s fine, its just a busted knee cap.

Nate’s very thicc. Look at that ass.

-squints at all the weed blogs following me now-

IIIIIMMMM GONNA SWIIIING FROM THE CHANDLIEEEER. FROM THE CHANDELIIIEEEEEEER.

I assumed he would come back on wednesday because he’d be out of weed. He’s always out of weed on this day. Weedless wednesdays.

I’m back, and I’m not reading all that. I’m kinda scared to read what you’re all saying anyway.

Haha knight armor.

Light it on fire and see what happens :>

N O. KIT NO. WEEPS.

I may just suck at sucking.

No Escape.

Give me the cat nip.

BE SAFE. Don’t fly away or anything.

Oz doesn’t have internet. Its not worth the trip.

But what if I want to fly away.

Then bring a parachute

Time For Regret.

Fuuuuck no I hate those big ass spiders.

Wow this water is so green. Its Super Green.

Green Lantern water.

Inhale the glow.

Its the mucus from those commercials for mucinex.

Make sure you inhale with your stomach – inhale the maximum amount of glow.

DRAG HIM INTO THE WELL.

WELCOME TO HELL.

Well Hell.

Yolo harder.

Your fucking shit is mine.

You just turned his dick into swiss cheese.

Ah yes. The dick shots. Its been too long.

Peak out, bitch.

Yea, they can. Where do you think that curdled milk cheese comes from.

My life has been a lie.

I can’t even remember what its called. Its nasty af though. Chunky milk in a dish.

Cottage cheese?

YES. THAT. COTTAGE CHEESE COMES FROM SWISS CHEESED DICKS.

eVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE.

(library voice) I’m sexy and I know it

Today on Hige Ruins Everything

Look at that goddamn library. I’d put my cottage cheese all over that thing.

HQ to Bianca. You’re breaking up. Over.

I’m sorry I keep breaking up with you guys, I just feel like our relationship isn’t going to advance any further.

JUST BECAUSE ITS NOT GOING TO LEVEL UP DOESN’T MEAN WE HAVE TO BREAK UP. WE CAN STAY THIS WAY.

I’LL PISS IN THE BENDY PART OF THEIR KNEE.

What. Where did that even–

My hands are cold. Almost as cold as my soul.

Hello darkness my old friend.

That’s friend material right there.

SIREN’S ARE GOING AGAIN. WHY’RE SIRENS GOING AGAIN. THE DOGS ARE BORKING.

Bullet buffet.

Is that… pineapple with pizza slice toppings?

And we’ve lost Bianca.

If it fits I fuckings falls ins.

Did Nate have tits just now? When he… when he died.

If he did, they would have saved his life.

Stop that bullet trajectory into his chest.

#TitsSaveLives

[Lavi voice] Can confirm. Trust me, I’m an expert.

GLIIITCH.

WHOA. WHAT IS GOING ON. GAME? GAME?!

At least it unglitched me.

Still not as great as Vibrating Nate. Also yes hello I am now Dr. Suess.

ITS BECAUSE I SAID TITS SAVE LIVES, ISN’T IT

THAT HURT.

DID HE JUST. PUNCH HIM IN THE NUTS OR.

dick kicking time.

Aaah, to have a smoker handy.

I thought of four different types of smoker in an instant and was very confused bc to what point is a meat smoker going to help Nate…

Tfw you hear the word smoker and think of meat smoker first despite hanging with stoners…

I call hax on Nate.

Man if I had that torch I woulda smacked that guy and burned half his face

Oh fuck off Talibut. Shove a cactus up your ass.

what the fUCK. HELL NO.

NIGHTMARE FUEL.

Screw the spiders.

Spirahnas.

bAD SPIDERS.

Just blew that guy into Kibbles n Bits

This is the party cart.

PAAARTTTYY CAAART.

wh AT HAPPENED TO MI SON. DEAK YOU PUT YOUR HEAD BACK ON RIGHT NOW YOUNG MAN.

WUT UP MY DITCH COUSINS

The sky.

WRONG. THE SHRIEKING VOID WE LOVINGLY CALL SPACE.

But what if its down? Or left?

Technically the void is everywhere and nowhere all at once -- its inescapable in its omnipotence.

I aint even high rn.

Your very existence is a high.

This is true. This is probably why I have not been high despite having been hot boxed and smoking three god damn blunts. I just... can't get it.

They kept saying maaan you're gonna be fucked up after this and i'm just. bruh my entire existence is fucked up.

HI I HEARD THERE WAS FIRE.

FFFIIIIIRRRREEEEEEEEEEE.

The pyro in me is v happy with this scene.

Even better than assthetic.

It'd hit my aesthetic if I could smell it through the screen, but alas, I cannot.

NYOOM. LOOK AT HIM FLY.

God I love the smell of burning buildings tho. I mean... it smells terrible... but it fills me with a very warm and fuzzy feeling. Like a feeling one might get on christmas morning.

Hige confirmed for arsonist.

I told you before, my town was just a constant smell of maceration water, decay, cat piss, and various forms of smoke.

He didn't see you. He smelled you.

Reno called: he wants his uniform back.

I still don't get how he does all this shit with them tight ass pants.

RIP his balls. RIP his life too.

Nate is the real one stripping balls.

Did I just hear a Sasuke scream.

NAAAAAARUTTOOOOOOOOOOO.

AGAIN. THANK YOU LORDS.

IT SOUNDS LIKE FUCKING SASUKE.

Sasuke Uchihad his ass to the future.

Sasuke Uchihad his own ass.

He scream at own ass.

I used to be a treasure hunter like u. Then I took a bullet to the knee.

You mean to the dick. Bianca here takes no prisoners.

No that guy took it 2 the knee.

His third knee.

I /guess/ it counts as a bone.

Nate pads his ass cheeks. Is this how he survives them falls?

Those big guys have balls of steel tho he took those kicks like a CHAMP.

What if he's broken his ass before? RIP Nate's ass.

Probably has tbh. Had that crushed pelvis from Snoo Snoo.

Walked crooked for a month. Got roasted with anal jokes.

U know I could make a joke but. I'll be good.

No. Be bad.

Life is better when you don't think through your actions. Just get it out.

Think of all the children u just killed Bianca.

Today I saw a dead possum on the road outside the house.

When life throws grenades, pick them up and throw them back. I DON'T WANT YOUR GOD DAMN GRENADES.

This can't be it. That couldn't possibly be it. Is this to lul me into a false sense of security? Because its not cool. I feel like a deer, walking across the open meadow.

Tripping baaaaaaaallz.

Nate likes playing with big balls, pass it along.

Well you could design a sword without the blood groof but it'd be heavy af. Like good fucking luck swinging it unless you're the incarnation of "I' the Juggernaut, bitch".

I'm judging all of FFVII.

Judge Reno while you're at it.

Too busy judging Lavi. At least Reno doesn't have a knife kink.

..... *coughs* W e ll...

Reno, after being stabbed: Thank u this is mine now.

Her boobs got smaller, I swear. Look. Look at them. They shrunk.

RIP Elena's boobs.

*Sighs* All these people, history buffs.

Naaaah we all just collectively played Assassins Creed.

It tru tho.

Lavi, putting his fists up: You got a problem with history buffs?

Nate your ass looks great in these jeans.

I want all the ass creed. All. Need.

Its the Spooders that we don't like.

SPOODERS.

I hope you're happy fox fox. I just choked on my spongey creme bread reading that goddamn angst.

I'm that jackass that pushes you into the spiders webs just to hear you scream.

He found the mummified corpse of an old man holding his dick in his last fap session in his tomb.

Yes, please, stop me. Tackle me. (laughs)

Lavi and Deak tbh. Except. They'd actually tackle each other lmfao.

Penelo Pinella Pinero bread WHO CARES. Her name is Penera Bread now.

I can't wait to hear you screaming kek.

Those aren't swords those are Mammoth Cleavers.

There we go. Mammoth Cleavers. We'll go with that I guess.

"I hope it'll be helpful to you". Yeah, I mean. It'll be helpful... to me... in stealing stuff. But don't worry about it. You didn't hear nothin'.

I'm still stuck in the fifth ark, spam killing slugs weeps

I was going somewhere and I can't remember where.

The waterway whose name I can't spell.

Fussbudget... his name is Fussbudget. Really?

...I'm not making those noises.

Shut up, Kit. I wasn't going to impersonate that.

But why not? Do it. Do it for the vine.

I'm not doing it for the vine.

There's an esper in this area but you can't get it later. He's the one I can't pronounce his name right, he's the one I can't say it right, but he's the UGLY one. Like the really ugly one.

I'm a rat murderer and taker of treasure.

No, come back. Come baaaaack-- You're dead.

You know if it weren't for game logic I would just jump right up there.

Am I your magic rare game charm now or?

Kit you're my rare game charm now. So... wave your hands, and make the Razorfin pop up.

*waves mi hands in the air* RazorwingRazorwingRazorwing

Its Razorfin not Razorwing.

Give me your bigger mutant brother, so I can kill it.

Razorfin more like Bitchfin.

(Razorfin voice) Not Today

(Razorfin voice) you said you were gonna cook me so i aiN'T COMIN OUT

What if I don't cook you, will you come out? I'll... put you in clean water or something.

(Razorfin voice) n o p e u done goofed

No broom pats this time. I'm impressed.

I probably hurt its feelings when I called it Razorwing. Or Bitchfin.

God damn it Kit you were supposed to be a magic charm to make these rare game come out and instead you hurt its feelings.

(razorfin voice) ALL OF U ARE MEANIES I'M TAKING MY TOYS AND GOING HOME.

You know its been a while since anythings respawned in this area because. It seems to know I'm on a war path.

You know I feel like this is somewhere on par with the Helix fossil.

Let's not bring up our Lord and Savior the Helix fossil.

Wow I'm so desperate for it to pop up I thought I just saw a red dot on my screen, but my eyes are playing tricks on me.

Get your fucking helix out of here.

YOU ASSHOLE. YOU'RE MINE.

BITCHFINS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. WEEPS. POOR BITCHFIN.

Look Isa-- Bitchfin. Deserved it. Making me go back SO MANY TIMES before it respawned.

Vaan don't make those noises. Makes me think of dirty things-- oh my god.

Balthier you little shit, you had to say it all fancy like?

WHO HERE LIKES MIMICS BECAUSE I SURE DON'T.

Wow. That was bad. For a moment I mistook Basch for a corpse and I was gonna attack him.

Calm yourself before you hurt yourself.

So many spooky scary skeletons.

Don't start that Isa NO.

Spoopy scary skeletons. For the skeleton war. En gaurde Fuckboy.

#game stream #crack

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neckdeepinchicagosadness · 7 years ago

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Life: An Update

I think it’s about time that I put the last 8 months or so into words. It’s been one hell of a roller coaster. Warning: it’s really long and parts can be triggering.

I guess I’ll start back at the beginning of May. I had jUst finished my spring semester with decent grades, and I had to move out of my dorm for the summer. At this point i had decided that I was done with dorm life and wanted to move into a house or apartment with a friend (we’ll call her Lindsay for anonymity). She and I began house hunting but her lease didn’t end until June. So technically at this point i was homeless. She let me stay in her apartment while we went house hunting, but we decided not to sign onto anything due to funds, and timing. I was about to head to Albuquerque to spend a month visiting my family that i hadn't seen in a year (I had to miss Christmas that year because marching band had a bowl game that we were required to attend). It made sense at the time just to wait the two months. So we shared a room for a month until I left.

Once in New Mexico, i finally got the chance to unwind from the semester. I got caught up with my family, and met one of the coolest people i know. She’s literally my only friend in NM right now (working on getting more though). The month flew by between hiking, camping, smoking a lot of really good weed, exercise, and getting my two tattoos, and buying my first car. It should also be said that my girlfriend (lets call her Dani) and I took a month away from our relationship at this point because of distance. She was studying abroad in canada, and I was well, still in NM. I didn’t end up hooking up with anyone in this time, but took it more as a chance to look at what i wanted in my life. Things seemed pretty clear then. little did I know that when I got back to Louisiana i would be stepping into the worst 6 months of my life. I left Albuquerque at the beginning of July, and drove my Honda Element 1200 miles home.

The day i arrived back, i found myself homeless once again, but at least I had a car. I had been communicating with Lindsay about where we would be living. Apparently I didn't make my return date clear enough to her, even though i told her i was driving back two days prior. When i arrived, I was met with anger about my lack of communication, and berated with excuses about how she didn't have the money to find a new place with me, and that her family wanted her home. I could have just been told these thing earlier, but instead they were screamed at me the second i got back, and I was kicked out of her apartment. i had been keeping my things there over the month, and had to move them to my girlfriend’s parents house (they had a guest house they let me use as storage). Her excuses were valid however, and i understood that our plans weren’t going to work out and that was okay. The same result could have come without the anger though and I was hurt on the first day back. Not much of a homecoming.

From there I began to panic. I was more homeless than before. I had to couch surf for about 2 weeks between friends and felt like a complete loser and burden on everyone around me. I had to find a place. I began searching for 1 bedroom apartments within my budget. I guess i should mention now that my parents had been in a financially tight spot since I left for college and i was essentially on my own. They really couldn't help with rent as they could barely make their own. Anyway, I really couldn't find much until a friend of my Dani’s gave me a tip on a place that was on the same property he lived on. A 1 bed 1 bath for 500. I could have made that work, but i saw the 2 Bed 2 Bath that was also on the property for 800 a month and was drawn to it. This house would become my living hell for the next 3 months or so. Here is where some backstory is needed.

Back in late March or early April, i met a friend who shared my weed smoking pastime, let’s call her Shelly. Shelly is a short, strong, proud black woman with a rough family history. She was also my dorm neighbor. Shelly, Dani, and I became fast friends. At some point in the semester, Shelly had to turn to selling her weed to make her school payments. One day at her dorm, her suppliers came through. Lets call them Jack and Amy. Jack and Amy were a couple, and had recently found out that amy was about 2.5 to 3 months pregnant (yea, three months). They too were climbing out of homelessness but for reasons they didn't exactly make clear at any time. Dani and I were hesitant to become friends with them, as they were drug dealers. Jack was a twitchy, skinny white boy who liked to talk out his ass. He would talk like he knew how everything worked, even when many times he did not. And he would never admit he was wrong. If you corrected him his response was always “well that's what i meant.” Amy was a sweet, short white girl, who obviously loved Jack. She was funny and nice. Two peas in a really fucked up pod. I would only see them here and there. I never really reached out to them. That is until I saw that 2 bed 2 bath for 800 a month.

Now without roommates to make the rent cheaper i reached out to Shelly. Dani’s parents wouldn’t let us move in together unless it meant we were moving towards marriage. We had only been together for a year and a half at this point and I just wasn’t ready for that level of commitment. Shelly was excited about the house but making 400 dollars a month before utilities was tough for both of us. She thought of Jack and Amy and we both thought, well shit with 4 of us in the house we could make rent super cheap. Amy was 7.5 months pregnant at this point. Me being someone who sees the good in people, then decided it would good to give these two a chance to get on their feet. So we all agreed to get this house and work together to lift each other up. Sounds like a dream right? Well it was.

We moved in at the end of July. Things seemed to be going well. Jack and I began working on the garden, as it was COMPLETELY overgrown. The house looked so nice. The bug problem was being handled. Jack and Amy didn’t have jobs, but they had decided to give their future child up for adoption. They knew they were not in a position to raise it themselves. This may have been the only good decision they ever made. They made their rent money from selling drugs (which i kept telling them to stop doing) and assistance from the adoption agency. Shelly was also between jobs and selling drugs. It became a weed trap house. The house was in the sketchy part of town and strange things would happen here and there. For example, one night we had a meth addict who was super high try and wander onto the property. When we stopped her (armed with gardening tools) she told us that we shouldn't talk to her because she spoke with ghosts. She was also trying to break into an abandoned house behind ours. The sound of gunshots and police sirens was commonplace. But out little island seemed to be separated from this most of the time (besides the time we found squatters in the still unoccupied 1 bedroom next to us).

Then things began to take a turn for the worst. Shelly one day went to make a drug deal with one of her clients who suspiciously didn't come all the way into the property, but back in at the end of the driveway. When she went to make the trade, they gave her counterfeit (poorly counterfeit mind you) money and drove off with the product. This left a sour taste in Shelly, Jack, and Amy’s mouths. I mostly had the feeling of “we are now in danger” but kept my mouth shut. I told them never to make deals with anyone they didn’t know super well. They brushed me off like i was dumb.

Literally later that evening, Shelly had another client pull into the driveway but they didn't get our of their car, which again seemed odd. Jack, Amy, and I watched out the window nervously while Dani was doing her own thing in my room. Amy asked me to go check on her slyly while getting something out of my car. I agreed and went outside. Jack and Amy for some reason followed after me. As i was searching my car i felt a shift in the vibe right before Shelly screamed out “He’s got a gun!”. I froze only thinking of if Dani was somewhere safe. Shelly ran behind Dani’s car, her rent’s worth in weed already gone, while jack charged the car, screaming “What the fuck?! What the FUCK?!” what the fuck is right. Like what the fuck was he thinking?? Was he trying to get shot. As jack ran back to Amy screaming “She’s pregnant!” (an excuse that would become commonplace) the car peeled off out of the property. Shelly was sobbing behind Dani’s car. I had to scream at her “Get in the house....IF YOU DO ONE THING RIGHT NOW IT IS THAT YOU GET THE FUCK UP AND IN THE FUCKING HOUSE!!”. We four bolted into the house. My heart was racing but i was oddly calm. I went to Dani, i gabbed her and hugged her tight, and explained what had just happened. Jack and Amy were in their room shaking and crying. Shelly was in her room crying as well. All i could think was that those people come back for our lives. I got Jack, Amy, and Shelly in one spot and told them “you are done. Done with the selling, done being unemployed, DONE.” They just nodded in agreement. I then demanded they get into Dani’s car and we dropped them off at Shelly’s dorm that she still had due to her contract not ending until the end of that month.

Dani and I sat in the car in silence until I told her “say what you need to say.” “I told you so” was what she told me. And i couldn’t stop laughing. Because of all the things she could have said or done, she said “I told you so”. Not “we’re through” not “Fuck you.” I told you so. And she was right. She did warn me not to get involved with these people. And i didn’t listen. We drove to Baton Rouge to spend the night with a friend. Somehow we ended up having an NSFW adventure of our own that night. I guess we were living the day like it could’ve been our last.

And life went on. It went on getting worse. In the weeks that followed our brush with death, Shelly fell into a deep depression. She stopped taking care of herself. Stopped showering, cleaning her bathroom, stopped eating or doing her part around the house. And she couldn't pay her rent. On top of that everyone involved, myself included, felt a strong resentment towards her for bringing what happened to the house. After a certain point we all agreed that she had to go. We told her she had pack her things and leave. She wasn’t happy about this but she went along with it anyways. She would go on to spend the semester at her parents home, and would get a job quickly. It seemed as though she learned her lesson and got her life together. We actually hang out here and there now. But i keep my guard up.

This is where the abuse really begins. For maybe 2 weeks things were great in the house. We would cook together, have fun together, bring Amy to her doctor's appointments (they didn’t have a car), and support each other. Then Jack began to have these mood swings. We would wake up and he would just scowl at us, not saying a word. He’d go outside and work in the yard, but angrily. If I offered to help he would either say nothing and ignore my presence completely, or would snap at me. He would be this way all day. The next day he’d be fine. One day after Dani had spent the night, she decided to help out around the house by doing the dishes before we left for class. Our dishwasher was a piece of crap that wouldn't actually wash the dishes. Dani didn’t really know the extent of this though so she loaded the dishes, ran it, and put them away. Later that day she and I got paragraph after paragraph from Jack and Amy about how we never helped around the house, how the dishes were disgusting, and that Jack would do all the dishes from then on. We said we were sorry and that it was fine if Jack wanted to do the dishes. We began to keep the rest of the house in better shape, sweeping the floors and picking up after them. We would leave the dished for Jack. And they wouldn't get done. Until one night he decided to do them, at 3:30 in the morning, as loudly as possible, slamming pots and pans into the sink, waking Dani and I up so that we knew he was doing them, but that he wasn’t happy about it. When we tried to talk to him about it, he would give us the cold shoulder. This sort of behavior would continue.

At one point Jack demanded that Dani and I take better care of the house and that by the end of every night he wanted the dishes done, trash taken out, garbage picked up around the house, bathrooms cleaned, and floors swept. But he didn’t tell us this as though he and Amy would be helping, just that Dani and I had to do it. So back to dishes it was for us. At another point they asked us to use the other bathroom rather than the one we shared between our rooms because their room was small and they could hear us every time we used it and it would wake Amy up cause she was sensitive being at this point 9 months pregnant. She was about to pop any day. So we agreed and moved our things into the other bathroom. We continued to have these communication problems, but my phone had broken so anytime there was a problem, Jack and Amy felt it was appropriate to berate Dani with texts while she was in class. She would come to me sobbing as these texts were unreasonably rude, saying things about how we don’t understand what it’s like to be having a kid (as if that had anything to do with how we kept the house), that we aren’t home enough, how we are ungrateful for the things they do for the house. I remind you the reader that these dicks still didn’t have jobs. Another note I believe is important to add. The month before, Jack and Amy didn’t have their rent money because it had basically all been stolen, and Dani out of the kindness of her heart, lent them 500 dollars to pay their rent and utilities. I now know that she didn’t do this for them, but so that I wouldn’t be out of a home again. Finally one day Dani had enough of Jack’s shit and told him, if he has a problem to wait till we got home, or to message me. Jack didn’t take this well and began to ignore Dani at every change. Amy would defend Jack’s actions saying that “oh he’s just a virgo, and he’s just like that” but those were shitty excuses. She would apologize for him, but that never satisfied me, because he didn’t take responsibility for his own actions.

Finally the day came where Amy had her kid. We drove them to the hospital and made sure they were all good. After the entire adoption process, they were given 4,000 dollars for giving their child away. Money that should have gone to a car, rent, and utilities. its mid October or so by this point. It continues to get worse. By this point, Dani is nervous to ever come over, or spend the night at my place. Jack and Amy, after their return home have began to do nothing productive. They would sit on the couch, play video games, smoke weed all day, and clean nothing. The dishes piled up out of the sink and onto the counters. At this point we had already done that amount of dishes 3 times a week if not more. When we asked Jack about when they would help we were told “We just had a kid, you don’t understand” as if that got them off of chore duty.

In the background of all this Dani had been getting her paperwork done to spend a semester in Paris. As a going away gift she wanted to get me a comfort animal as my anxiety began to skyrocket because of the living situation. My grades were suffering, and i even had to drop a class because of the lack of sleep i would get from their passive aggressive midnight cleaning sessions. Eventually, Dani and i began spending our weekends at the animal shelter looking to adopt this beautiful calico, Lovey. After weeks of visiting, we decided it was time to take her home. We talked to Jack and Amy about the cat, and how it would not only be good for me but also for Amy’s post-partum depression. They thought it would be a good idea too and agreed. Then one day they told us to “stop talking about the cat until we know when it’s coming home” so we did, and when we knew we told them. I brought the cat home on a friday. She was a nervous cat, and hid the entire time i had her. That tuesday while i was at class, i received a wave of texts on FB about “how [we] don’t understand what its like to give up a child and that the cat only reminds us of our kid. How could you bring this animal home when you're never home (i was always home after class and work mind you) and it just makes Amy sad and suicidal.” and while he was right that we’d never know the pain of giving a child away, their mental health was not mine or Dani’s responsibility. But they went on berating me about the cat, until they told me that “we just can’t deal with the cat around. We just cant”. They were telling me to take her back, without saying the words “take the cat back”. I arrived home, and pulled the cat out from its hiding place, sobbing the whole time as she meowed at me. All i could say was “i know lovey, i know, i know, i know. I love you, i know”. i couldn't stop crying as i put the cat in her carriage, and drove her to the shelter. My heart wouldn't stop hurting for days.

When I got back to the house, jack was (finally) doing the dishes. I got in and told him “i’m moving out soon.” i had had enough. But they’re master manipulators and got me to stay after we had a shouting match about how I was going to put them out on the street again. I wasn’t. I was going to make sure they had someone who would make sure they could keep the house, but all they could scream was “fuck you you're making us homeless again, how could you do this. You made a commitment and you're just scared to see it through” I made a commitment to not be homeless and be happy. Not to be psychologically abused with cold shoulders, passive aggression, and guilt trips. When they said “well what about the cat you just got (with a fucking rude tone)” I told them i had already brought her back that day and that was why i had had enough. They began to swear up and down that that’s not what they wanted me to do, but they were liars and i knew it because when i was on the ground sobbing about it amy told me “well, maybe now you sort of know the pain we feel about giving our kid away”. Fuck that. What a fucking shitty thing to say. It makes me furious just to write about it. But still i told them i wouldn't leave them stranded. I continued to stay at the house until i got our utility bill for 350 dollars in electricity alone. The house was no longer affordable with just us 3 in there now and them having no jobs. On top of the fact that going there would send me into panic attacks. When rent came that month, they barely had it, even though they told me they had 2000 saved just for rent and utilities. But they didn’t. They spent it all on video games and weed. All of it. And I know they actually got 4k for the adoption because i held the check in my hands.

These bastards became emotional and financial parasites on me and Dani. We would have to pay for food for the house while being miserable in what was supposed to be where we get away from the daily stress of school. I had already begun looking for a place at this point, and Dani would stay in her dorm. We tried one last time to attempt to make things better for us. It was a wednesday in october, maybe a week before Halloween. We walked in after class to find Jack and Amy tripping on LSD. We thought to ourselves “ok fine we’ll just let them be” and we went in our room to discuss dinner. Amy came to our room to say hi, and let us know that we were welcome there, and that they were okay. Jack from across the house then called us into the game rooms they had made while we weren't there (they moved all the furniture including the couch into the office room right next to theirs just to spite us a few days before), saying “hey come smoke this weed, y’all need it more than we do”. it was funny and sounded inviting. When we entered the room however, it was anything but. Jack was shaking on the step up to his room, holding his hand in a gun shape to his head (think Kim Pine in Scott Pilgrim) saying “you need to get out Leo, you need to just get the fuck out of my face”. he then got up to charge me, and i threw my hands up and back out of the room. Dani was behind me and we ran to my room. We could hear Jack screaming “GET OUT, GET THE FUCK OUT, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO GIVE UP YOUR KID GET OUT!” Amy tried to reassure us that it was okay and that he was just tripping really hard, but it wasn't okay. Their weed dealer passed through, and then Dani’s friend (who was our neighbor who tipped me about the place) came by to drop something off to her. While he was talking to us Jack kept screaming through the wall at us saying “YOU WOULD RATHER BE ANYWHERE BUT HERE. FUCK YOU”. He was right, i did want to be anywhere but there. I was barely standing my knees were shaking so much from fear. I honestly believed Jack wanted to hurt me and Dani. So we gathered our clothes, and left for Dani’s dorm. The second i was in the car i told her “that’s it, the next time we come here its to move out”

I waited a few days till Jack and Amy wanted to talk to me about what happened. They said they didn’t remember anything of that night so i told them what happened and that because of their actions i cannot stay there. They understood at first, but as it sat with them after our conversation, their understanding turned to anger. They tried to tell me that the District Attorney said that i wouldn't be able to break the lease. They were dead wrong as there was an entire section of the lease dedicated to how to break the lease, and it said that I would either have to pay the rest of the year’s rent, OR find someone to take my spot. When i literally copy and pasted this part and sent it to them, they told me i couldn't just make them live with someone i chose. I told them tough shit i actually can. I then e-mailed the landlord about what had been happening and that i was giving my 30 days move out notice. He told me to find someone to take my place and i agreed. 10 minutes later he emails me saying “i just spoke to the other residents, you can just consider yourself off the lease.”

I felt free.

I forgot to discuss how through all of this Dani was severely sick. She came down with a cough that turned into viral bronchitis in September, and her tonsils became so swollen they had to be removed. Her surgery was just after the child was born, and she was out of commission for 2 whole week. I was essentially her caregiver as her parents didn't want to do it. This put a decent level of strain on our relationship as it was all happening at the same time.

i felt the weight lift off my shoulders finally. I moved my clothes into Dani’s room and a few days later, my friends helped me move my things into a storage unit. I would spend the rest of October (like 5 days) and all of November in Dani’s dorm while i house hunted.

But then Dani and I began fighting. Alot. She began to act manic, and would freak out every time something didn't go to plan. Her calendar is her life, and that fine, but it got to a point where she would essentially have to write me into her schedule. Everyday we would fight about small things, until i asked her “have you stopped taking your anxiety meds?” She looked so disappointed in herself because i was right. She had stopped, and it was apparent. She got back on her meds and things got better, but with the end of the semester approaching we had to start having another heartbreaking conversation. We were breaking up when she left for Paris. We decided that this was what was best for us in coming months, as i need to be present where i am and getting back on my feet as an adult, with no help. I had become dependent on Dani for emotional and financial support over these months and i felt like a bad boyfriend. On top of that, she would be across the world, and i don't want her to miss out on any part of her experience while she’s there, because she's thinking and worrying about me stateside. We both agreed that this is what’s best and that we will look at our future together or apart when she return. We are both taking these next 6 or so months to self explore. I love her very much and I want her happiness. I will miss her so much as I do already, while i visit my family in NM for the holidays.

It should also be said that Dani and my mom helped my find the coolest 1 bedroom 1 bath studio right next to my campus, and I have already signed on and started moving in. I can’t wait to see what life has in store for me, and how i grow when i have my own space where i can follow my passion of music, without the fear of judgement of my roommates.

Here’s to 2018. Truly a new year new me scenario!

#Life #months #abuse #update #fear #love #home #homeless #money #finance #breakup #growth #grow #2018 #2017 #fuck #goddamn #users #addicts #8 months #Song material #writing #long #rough #bad time

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