#thinking it's because wilson started dating the female version of him..enough to make a grown man drink himself into oblivion

[swirlsncurlsnmanyturns]

thought back to season 4′s house’s head/wilson’s heart and I have A Question. yk how the whole catalyst of the episode was the fact that house had taken the bus because he was so drunk and couldn’t drive his cool biker boy motorcycle? yk how house always goes drinking with wilson whenever he has a crazy reason to celebrate or just another reason to be miserable? he always drinks with wilson. why did he, on this particular day, get SOOOO wasted without even telling wilson??? and then the rest follows of how he wants wilson to pick him up but then amber does instead and the rest is history (</3). but like, i’m so boggled as to why he was extra miserable and drinking alone that day.

[writing-fool]

gryffindor!seungcheol

(This is a female version, because it includes Head Boy and Head Girl moments. If you wish for me to make a gender-neutral or male one, please don’t hesitate to ask)

Alright.

This pal, Seungcheolie, is a total Gryffindor

Like I’m talking, poster-child Gryffindor, courageous, extremely kind, a great leader figure. This boi is a Gryffindor seventh year AND Head Boy (because the teachers love him)

Friends with Jeonghan, the Slytherin prefect and ppl used to not understand why because Jeonghan’s a total pranker and Cheolie looks so straight-laced but oH BOI can this kid surprise people

Has snuck into the kitchen to steal biscuits, without consequences because hE’s HeAd bOY

Doesn’t cheat for any tests tho cuz he IS kinda straight-laced

Does everything for his 12 best friends (and kids because he’s SUCH A DAD), especially for Jeonghan because Han’s a lazy bum

Also the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and Chaser, cuz he’s not necessarily fast on his broom (hence why he’s not a seeker) but his aim is great

Also practices a ton after class, because once Seungcheol wants something, he works so incredibly hard for it

His pep talks are so, so good

Younger Gryffindors (and kids from other Houses) look up to this guy because he honestly is one of the most reliable students ever and he’ll always solve the problem either with his own power, or with the help of his amazing friends

Once, when Chan was still a little first year, he was bullied by a first year Ravenclaw, and Coups sat the guy down, gave him a good scolding, and for the rest of the year, the dude was surprisingly nice to Chan (turns out, he was kinda jealous of Chan’s flying skills)

His grades are mehh, he passes with the help of Wonwoo and Joshua (and also Mingyu, who surprisingly has a knack for Potions) and usually gets an P if he does fail

He’s not dumb AT ALL, just can’t write long essays for the life of him and honestly doesn’t value grades all that much

He’s somehow very good at Care of Magical Creatures and was good Muggle Studies (a subject which he dropped because he’s a half-blood, and that just doesn’t make sense)

Seungcheol gets to know you in second year, because you’re his partner in Herbology

And while he is a decent student…well, he hasn’t got the patience to deal with,,plants for Merlin’s sake

You, a fellow young Gryffindor with whom Cheolie hasn’t spoken with yet because the gap between your teeth is really frickin adorable and omg you’re actually really good at Herbology and you’re cute but also girls wth

You’re well…a total wild card. Unpredictable, fiery and uncontrollable. But you’re surprisingly gentle when you have to be, so you and Seungcheol quickly become friends after that Herbology class.

Cheol tries out for the Quidditch team that same year, and he gets in immediately

You’re ‘recruited’ in third year when one of the previous Beaters graduates and well…let’s say the Cap back then saw your potential when you broke Anthony Wilson’s nose because he slapped your ass. Sorry not sorry.

Anyways, moving on,,,

You and Seungcheol are pretty close, like not best best friends (because jeez 12 ain’t enough?) but you speak every day and you lean on him a liiiiiiittle too closely whenever you two are in the common room at night

Because he can’t really sleep because of the stress he has sometimes, taking care of his kids and all (doting father y’all) and you join him sometimes

Over the years you’ve grown into a comfortable rhythm of lulling each other to sleep in comfortable silence in the common room

The first time you woke up in each other’s arms was….well…//blush//

Because he is your friend but he is also really handsome and his lips are so close and he’s cute when he’s sleeping no don’t touch his hair and oh dear why are you still lying in his arms get out get OUT

But you get used to the limbo of flirting and touching casually to the point where you instinctively cuddle up to him by the fireplace at night and he strokes your hair

You accidentally did it around his and your friends once because…he might’ve been the only one you pay attention to in the room ooOOH do you have a crush

So now the school ships it because Vernon, bless his heart, can’t keep his mouth shut

And you like him, you realise that in like, fifth year you smart cookie, awww but you don’t want to lose the comfort of having him around and hugging you like his

And Cheolie’s got a big, fat crush on you too

Because he’s been watching you on the sidelines, growing up into this really wonderful, sunny person with some baggage and way too much care for him and your other friends

It doesn’t help that you’re stunning, gorgeous and have you seen her on the Quidditch field when she swings the bat with so much precision and-

Jeonghan and Jihoon: choke him with a pillow because he’s a SAP but it’s kinda cute

So y’all start dating…eventually, somewhere in sixth year. Like, you guys are celebrating after finallyyyy winning a Quidditch match against Slytherin (suck that, Wen Junhui)

And you and Seungcheol end up drinking a liiiiiittle too much Firewhiskey

Not to the point of being drunk, but like, to the point where y’all just a lil too honest drink responsibly babies

It’s pretty spontaneous tbh, like you end up celebrating and hugging and next thing you know you’re sitting in a corner with him by the window

Sighing and leaning your head back to feel the cool touch of glass

“I like this,” you whisper.

“Mhhmm…I like you.”

Cue double, triple take because wHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

And Coups is just like “No, I-I didn’t mean it?” but then suddenly you become visibly disappointed and he’s like OKAY MAYBE SHE LIKES ME OKAY WHAT 

And you’re just kinda flipping your shit because you don’t know what he wants but you’re really close to confessing 

You don’t notice you actually kinda start hyperventilating

Now Seungcheol is panicking too because he doesn’t know why you’re panicking and ohmygod what why hoooow

But he kinda is too tipsy to think so he just trusts his instincts and kisses you to calm you down 

And you’re too surprised to kiss back and I’m sorry to say it,,,,but that was not the best first kiss

Like full-on smooch, smack, poof, grab the face kiss that lasts 1 second

But after the initial surprise you’re feeling a bit more bold and calm how do those emotions work together? Honey don’t ask 

So you start kissing him whilst smiling into it, and this time, yess so nice

You guys kiss for another 2 minutes, at which point the crowd has turned their attention to OH MERLIN IS THAT CAPTAIN SEUNGCHEOL AND OUR BEATER?

You get shy and hide in his chest while he spins his back to the rest of the room, shielding you but also pressing you against the window

And you start giggling, because it’s kinda funny

He giggles with you because have you heard her giggle it’s adorable

You guys are unofficially dating after that evening, but Seungcheol asks you on a proper date to Hogsmeade two weeks later

Back to 7th year…you guys are Head Boy and Head Girl

Even though the other Houses are kinda salty that it’s two Gryffindors AGAIN, they have to admit you guys make a cute couple and really good Head Boy and Girl

So, y’know “Actually, good for them.” -random Ravenclaw, not pressured by Jeonghan to support y’all or anything. Nope. 

Coups tends to ruffle your hair a lot, and backhugs as a surprise

“Cheol, my bird’s nest really doesn’t need to be made extra messy you idiiiiot!”

“I’m your idiot” winks 

“Yes and that makes it worse.” So you pummel him with a pillow

Backhugs and cuddles are still your thing

The sofa by the fireplace in the Common Room is your Spot™, but at least now you don’t have to hide anymore

Younger kids walking past “Oh Merlin’s pants look at them they’re so cute…I want a romance like that.”

Older students just grill y’all like oooOOoOohHhhhh

“Watch it, or you’re gonna get detention” is usually Coups’ joking reaction

While you just go *middle fingers up* and cuddle deeper into his chest

You help him with Herbology, even now, and your rewards are kisses

Really, you two are role-models for everyone at school, both as people and as a happy love story. 

One down, 12 to go…fuck why did I pick SVT to write for?

Hope it’s to everyone’s liking, please reblog, like, comment, follow, whatever if you enjoyed the weird headcanon. Jeonghan’s up next!

Yours,

-Rémy

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, twice.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Eight (34.78% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Fifteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Neither characters nor plot are engaging enough to hold strong interest, making the film feel longer than it is, plus there’s one character in particular whose behaviour seriously rankles. It’s not a terrible movie, but it is thoroughly uninspiring.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Liz manages a brief pass with her mother before the dance. Liz says goodbye to Betty.

Female characters:

Betty Brant.

Liz Toomes.

Michelle.

Marjory.

May Parker.

Karen.

Mrs Toomes.

Pepper Potts.

Male characters:

Adrian Toomes.

Mason.

Peter Parker.

Happy Hogan.

Tony Stark.

Jason Ionelli.

Ned.

Flash.

Abraham.

Mr Delmar.

Gary.

Steve Rogers.

Coach Wilson.

Shocker.

Aaron Davis.

OTHER NOTES:

Ah, here’s Peter’s video log from Civil War, where he has no idea why he’s even there and it’s completely irresponsible and inappropriate for Tony to have brought him in on something catastrophically dangerous with no preparation and none of the knowledge necessary to make an informed decision! I hate it. This makes me extremely hate Tony. I know I mentioned it already when I reviewed Civil War, but it’s super-true and not going to change any time soon. 

See, this thing where Peter is sacrificing academic and social experiences to hang out for Tony’s promised phone call? That’s on Tony. You can’t just rope a kid into your bullshit and then kick him back out into the world with a vague false promise and no follow-up of any kind. That’s not how kids work. It’s not fair to people in general, but it is especially not how kids work.

Peter having to run because he’s in the suburbs and there are no tall buildings is probably the best gag in this movie.

The inclusion of that little detail about the Washington Monument being built by slaves. Mmmhmm.

I find the plotting of this film very dull and predictable, like ‘oh, and now we’ll have another action set piece, now some cutesy highschool stuff’, etc, and as such I feel it drags excessively and I’m just sitting here waiting for each bit to be done with so that we can get to the next, so that it can be over too, because I’m not attached enough to any one or thing that’s happening for the predictable beats to hold internal interest. That said, the Washington Monument piece is pretty good.

The ludicrous ferry accident, not so much.

Tony shows up, lot of shit-talking, blaming Peter for not magically intuiting information which Tony didn’t give him. Urgh. I deeply, deeply hate this version of Tony. 

Toomes reveal is the most inspired choice of the film. Keaton kills it on Toomes’ own revelation of Peter’s identity.

This movie sure does go on.

This ‘screwed the pooch’ joke makes me want to bleach my ears. Also, this whole Avenger/press conference business is still Tony completely failing to appreciate how he’s upended this kid’s life; the right thing to do in this situation is not to lean into it and go ‘ok, but what if I upended it...more?’, just like the right way to deal with it was emphatically not to just kick the kid to the curb to figure things out for himself after that initial upending. I imagine I would have enjoyed this film sooo much more if I were not raging at Tony throughout.

Ok, let me just purge on the Tony thing before I go any further, otherwise I’m never gonna be able to focus properly on the rest of the movie. I hate what they’ve done with Tony. That’s obvious. I really, deeply disagree with it. Tony was a hard character to get to like, but the Iron Man films did really solid, intelligent work at achieving it despite the many and sundry hurdles, and the key to that was the fact that they had Tony, consistently, recognising the ways that his actions hurt others and then making the effort to fix that and fix himself, not just blowing it off, making some flashy gesture or throwing some money at the problem and then breezing on out like everything’s fine and none of it’s on him. The Avengers films - particularly Ultron - did significant work at tarnishing the character development of the Iron Man films, and then Civil War came in and - amidst the many, many sins Tony committed in that movie - handed the introduction of Spider-Man over to Tony in an act of incredibly irresponsible and reckless child endangerment, which this film proceeded to double-down on by having Tony completely fail to be a reasonable, thinking adult at any point. Frankly, I don’t feel that Tony’s initial decision to involve Peter in Civil War is forgivable, there’s no walking that back, but the least he could have done is to recognise that fact and make appropriate amends, which - as above - does not mean ignoring the kid any more than it means pandering to his hero complex. It makes me feel really, really old to be saying it, but Peter is a minor, he doesn’t have a strong perspective on the world yet, but he’s also old enough and wise enough that he can’t just have people throwing rules at him and expecting obedience; he needs to be treated with the respect of having things explained, but he also needs oversight because he isn’t mature enough to make choices without it. He needs guidance. That’s the position which Tony actively puts himself in and then fails to follow through on, and it leaves Peter feeling that he has to prove himself, that he has to further endanger himself in order to win the mentorship that Tony promised. As a character response and an emotional position for Peter, that’s great story fodder and logical follow-on from his introduction, and I can’t fault that. For Tony Stark though, who manages to both start and end this movie without actually learning anything, it makes me infuriated beyond belief.

THAT SAID, let’s segue to the natural place: to Peter. The good news is, if this film gets only one thing right, it’s that very precise balance of Peter’s age, with all its accompanying tumult; Peter is mature enough to feel like he’s in control of his life and choices and capable of taking on new, big, adult things, but not mature enough to realise the limitations that come with his age in terms of experience and worldview. He has that ‘teenagers think they know everything’ factor, but without it being conveyed as either too arrogant or too whiny to be palatable. It’s a tough ask for teen characters, generally, as the creative forces behind them are almost invariably adults (and usually have been for quite some time), and it’s hard to recapture the mentality of a teen once you’ve grown beyond that mentality yourself. When Peter declares that school doesn’t matter anymore because he’s ‘probably never coming back’, he’s gonna become an Avenger and that’s his whole life plan right now, no real details, no clarity in what exactly that means for his day-to-day life or where he gets his income or how things might go in the long term, that’s a classic teen moment for him: his future is a concept, all of its parts internally encompassed, and it’s not just that he dismisses the questions, logistics, and concerns that an adult would know to raise, it’s that these things don’t even occur to him in the first place. Peter is in this middle-position, the transition from child to adult, and he’s not as far through that transition as he thinks he is (teenagers never are). Altogether, I may not be enamoured by this film, nor am I especially compelled by Tom Holland’s take on this character (he’s not bad, he’s just...not that enthralling, either), but the particular pitch of Peter’s mentality is spot-on without being, in itself, just another tromp through dull and overwrought teen-angst cliches.

The rest of the movie, on the other hand...I feel kinda bad about spending that over-long first paragraph railing against a certain billionaire who could have done us all a favour and not been in this film (or at least, not as prominently), giving Peter more of a chance to explore his spider-self and what it means to his life on his own terms, instead of being so heavily influenced by how he fits into the wider universe, and then maybe we could have fleshed out more of Peter’s normal life in order to make all the extraneous pieces of this story more meaningful, and less, y’know, extraneous. As-is, I don’t feel like I’ve got a lot to say about it, it’s fairly generic and unremarkable, and while there are some good set-up pieces - Toomes’ whole descent-to-criminal-enterprise-due-to-economic-pressures thing has great narrative potential and scope for reflection upon capitalism in the real world - the story never explores any of those pieces enough to even half-ass a real analysis of the idea. Toomes is rendered a mostly stock villain, the same as Liz gets little to make her more than a bland Love Interest, May is an interchangeable maternal figure, and Ned - while fun and easily a highlight in a cast that’s hardly vying for the title - is also a bit of a heavy-handed stereotype sitting in the comic relief/sidekick chair (the fact that he essentially references this in-story, fourth-wall-denting style, does not make it less uninspired). And I’m not sure how we’re supposed to see Zendaya’s MJ as anything other than a gimmick at this point, kinda seems like she was literally only there so that her preferred name could be used as a weightless ‘reveal’ at the end. Like I said up in the notes, I found the movie to be excessively predictable in a bad way, bringing me out of the viewing experience to count off the minutes and story beats, and as such, even though this is not the worst film Marvel has churned out to date, it is one of my least favourites. I know there are a lot of people who loved it, who love Tom Holland’s version of Peter Parker and found this movie light and fun, and it’s not that I can’t see where they’re coming from with that...I guess it’s just that whatever parts of the story are self-contained are so recycled from so many other films of this ilk, I can’t find anything to attach to, and then the rest of the story which could have been spent making something a little more interesting from those basic, predictable bones, instead is wasted on an over-emphasis on placing this movie into the MCU’s larger framework (an ironic waste of resources since you can easily skip this film without getting confused watching the next MCU movies with Spider-Man in them, Infinity War and Endgame). Anyway. I fear I’m just gonna start repeating myself for lack of anything else to say; I don’t care for this movie, it had at least a good little piece of heart in it but it wasted too much time on things which did not enhance this story or the wider universe anyway, I hate Tony Stark now. The end.