#thinking abt it as gene and linda instead of bob and his mom makes it so much sadder like they must've been close right?? a

[br1ghtestlight]

i feel like when bob's mom died he was probably like eleven and it was traumatic for him and his dad (like imagine how gene would feel if linda died, and its implied that bob and his mom were close too) but big bob and probably bob too are just not people who express their emotions openly!!! in the flashback episode where bob is fourteen he raises his voice the tiniest bit and then apologizes for getting so excited like he just doesn't express his emotions openly and i relate to that LOL i get the feeling that big bob didn't really like talking or thinking about his wife after she died (i mean we know canonically he left her out of stories that he told to bob and avoided her in conversations) and both him and bob probably processed their grief and trauma surrounding her by going "we just won't think about it or talk about her let's pretend she never existed" and its probably also true that bob learned pretty quickly that if he talks about his mom it will make other people sad and feel bad for him, and he knows that talking about his mom makes his dad sad so he doesn't do it anymore and by fourteen he's pretty good at acting like she never existed (i never lost someone close to me and definitely not that young but i can't imagine moving on from losing your mother who you had a close relationship with in like two or three years at that age??? but he seems like he's doing okay in that episode) that could ask explain why he almost never talks about her or tells stories, and why he didn't visit her grave for literal decades (obviously bcuz he was busy with his family and stuff but i get the feeling that he didn't like thinking about it bcuz it made him feel bad) so that lead to an environment where bob couldn't talk about his mom with his dad, and he couldn't talk about her with anyone else bcuz it made them sad and he didn't really like thinking about her bcuz he got sad whenever he thought about her, but as he told big bob in that one episode he likes talking abt her and yeah it makes him sad but it also makes him happy, because they're remembering and talking about her :) imo it would've been traumatic for bob to lose his mom regardless of how she died bcuz she was young like she would've been in her 30s or 40s and people that age don't typically die of natural causes, she probably either got into a car accident and died suddenly or had cancer/another terminal illness and died in a hospital over a longer period of time (which would make sense bcuz bob hates hospitals i think??) but either way that would be very traumatic for bob as a tiny child to watch his mother die and go to her funeral ALSO it seems like big bob is more willing to talk abt his wife with people who never knew her like the kids vs bob because he didn't want to make bob sad by causing him to think about her, so i think big bob came from a good place of not wanting to upset bob or make him miss her or make him sad by reminding him of her but i dont think avoiding talking about someone is the best way to grieve and cope with their death tbh it was probably just traumatic for both of them