#think I'll probably get some more chicks this spring

[shadyufo]

Started working on another house rehab job earlier this week. First day I started, what turned up on the front porch but an adorable little chicken! She really wanted to come in the house too, haha!

I walked out to my car—chicken running right on my heels the whole way—and grabbed a pack of cheese crackers I’d brought for lunch. She started trying to grab them before I even crumbled them up for her.

While she was preoccupied with the crackers, I ran back inside and unloaded cleaning supplies from a cardboard file box, grabbed my jacket, and went back out to lil miss chicken. Scooped her up and put her in the box with the jacket covering the top which she was not too thrilled about until I reached inside and sprinkled a few more cracker crumbs in the box—then she started singing happily again and pecking away at the crumbs while I loaded her in my car.

I drove around to a few of the neighbors’ houses and the first ones weren’t home but then a lady came to the door at one. Told her I was sorry to bother her but asked if she might possibly be missing a little white chicken and set the box down for her. Lady uncovered it and exclaimed, “Madeline, what are you doing?! And WHAT have you been eating?!” then scooped lil miss Madeline the Chicken up for a hug while wiping cracker crumbs off her beak.

I would have brought her home to my flock if I hadn’t found her peeps but I’m glad she got to be reunited with her owner <3

[fereldanwench]

OC Interview - Valerie Powell

I was tagged by @gloryride forever ago to interview my girl--Thank you, bb! I'm so late to doing this that I'm not gonna tag anyone else, but feel free to yoink it if you wanna do it!

[Answers are directly from Valerie's POV before the heist in 2077.]

.ೃ࿔*:･ NAME?

Valerie Irene Powell. [laughs] Yeah, my initials are VIP. My dad had a dorky sense of humor, and my mom let him get away with it. "Irene" is my great-grandmother's first name on her side of the family.

.ೃ࿔*:･ NICKNAME?

Pretty much just "V" these days, which was all Jackie's doing. A lot of the staff and some regulars at Nishimura's used to call me "Blue," but that was ages ago. Overly familiar acquaintances who don't know me well but think they do usually call me "Val."

.ೃ࿔*:･ GENDER?

Biologically female, no gender alterations or augmentations.

A/N - Valerie is a cis woman, but I don't see that specific language being in her vernacular.

.ೃ࿔*:･ STAR SIGN?

I was born in Night City on October 12 2041. Misty tells me that makes me a, uh--Hey, Misty, what am I again?

[Misty, calling from the other room: Libra Sun with a Taurus Moon and Scorpio Rising!]

Yeah, that. [laughs] Whatever the hell that even means.

.ೃ࿔*:･ HEIGHT?

Tall. 5'10" or 178 cm. And I admit I have a weakness for a sexy pair of heels, so I usually look a lot taller.

.ೃ࿔*:･ ORIENTATION?

People are out here fucking cyborgs with four eyes and chicks with gold dicks and electric nipples--What does this even mean? [laughs] I've never given it much thought. I like what I like, and I've liked a lot of different types of people with a lot of different things going on. [laughs again]

A/N: I say Valerie is bi, because that is the contemporary real-life word that best reflects her sexuality for me when I'm talking about her, but when I was really thinking about it from her POV and in the context of her world, I don't think she'd be too hung up on a label. She'd also probably see her wide spectrum of attraction as closer to the default, not the exception.

.ೃ࿔*:･ NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY?

I'm a typical American mutt. My dad's side of the family can mostly be traced back to Western Europe--my grandmother told me "Powell" is an Anglicized form of an old Welsh surname--and my mom's side is from the Eastern Mediterranean. Dad's side has been in NUSA for a long time (like two centuries before it was even called NUSA), but Mom's family has only been here for a few generations.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE FRUIT?

I just love fresh fruit. It's such a rare treat in Night City--I'll take fresh strawberries or melons over any other kind of sweet treat.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE SEASON?

Spring! When everything starts turning green and flowers are blooming. There aren't a ton of places in Night City where you can really experience that, but I know a few hidden gems.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE FLOWER?

Hydrangeas, probably. Especially the blue and purple ones. Oh, and wisteria! A tree covered in blooming wisteria is one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVE SCENT?

Freshly brewed coffee; new car smell; woodsy, smokey colognes and perfumes; real leather; whatever incense Misty uses in her shop; clothes right out of the dryer; lavender; a ton more that I know I'm forgetting!

.ೃ࿔*:･ COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE?

Strong coffee, black, maybe a little sugar if I'm feeling indulgent. Tea is nice, but it's not my caffeine fix. I like a cup of lavender or chamomile tea at night. Hot chocolate is too heavy and rich for my taste. A sip is nice, but I could never finish a cup.

.ೃ࿔*:･ AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP?

I try not to get any fewer than 6 hours, but that's easier said than done some nights. Okay, most nights.

.ೃ࿔*:･ DOG OR CAT PERSON?

You know, I've only ever seen one dog in person. A childhood friend's family had one--I don't know the breed, but it was a yippy little shit and it bit me! Never really wanted to see another dog, if I'm honest.

I like cats, though. There's a stray that hangs by Misty's place--He's the sweetest little guy. I picked up a bag of kibble we keep there to feed him when he comes around.

.ೃ࿔*:･ DREAM TRIP?

I've actually traveled a lot--My parents had to go to Biotechnica's HQ in Rome a few times when I was a kid, and they usually turned those trips into an excuse to have an extended European vacation. And I went all over the globe working for Arasaka for 7 years. I'd love to go back to Japan for non-work reasons.

.ೃ࿔*:･ FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER?

You're gonna laugh, it's so predictable. In my defense, I can't remember the last time I watched or read anything new--Actually, that's not true. Jackie made me watch one of those Bushido movies last week, and I just don't get it. Anyway. It's Elizabeth Bennet. Don't look at me--What's the next question?

.ೃ࿔*:･ NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH?

Just a sheet and comforter.

.ೃ࿔*:･ RANDOM FACT?

Oh, no, don't put me on the spot like this! [laughs] Um, okay, I shot my first firearm when I was about 7. Under intense adult supervision--My dad was really serious about self-defense and the right to bear arms, which always surprised people because he came across as such a meek science nerd. I didn't like it--It was so loud, even with earmuffs. Funny how things change.

Is that kind of a heavy note to leave on? [laughs again] Okay, how about this one: I can't roll my tongue.

[nightcityace]

[ SUBJECT INTERVIEW: SUNNY ]

[NICKNAME:]

Sunny: I guess technically Sunny was a nickname before it became official, but I've also been called Sunshine, Sunbeam, Ray of Sunshine… you can probably see the pattern. Interviewer: And what is your real name? Sunny: Sunny is my real name. Just because it might not be the first name I had doesn't mean it's not my real name.

[GENDER:]

None for me, thanks.

[STAR SIGN:]

Misty says I’m an Aquarius. I guess I never really put much thought into any of that, but she really enjoys it so that makes it fun for me too.

[HEIGHT:]

5’ 9”, but some of my boots make me a little taller. No platforms or anything though, I wouldn't be able to walk to save my life.

[ORIENTATION:]

Only interested in men, but I guess I don't really try to define myself often. Just queer in general is probably the best term I suppose.

[NATIONALITY / ETHNICITY:]

That's another one I never really think too much about. A lot of people tend to think my family are Nomads, but we’ve been here since before Night City was Night City. My… (counts on fingers) great-great-great grandparents actually bought our property back when California was still one state, so we’re about as local as you get. Before that I think someone came from New York and before that I don’t really know, all over Europe I think.

[FAVE FRUIT:]

Strawberries, not like synthetic ones or those over priced cloned ones, real strawberries. We managed to get a little section of them growing at home and nothing can compare. 

[FAVE SEASON:]

Probably spring. I love getting to watch everything sprout and bloom, even out in the desert. 

[FAVE FLOWER:]

Sunny: People usually expect me to say something cliche like sunflowers, but I genuinely love dandelions. Especially when they grow up out of cracks in pavement or sidewalks. It's proof there's still nature in the city, even when they try to hide it under all the concrete. They’re stubborn little flowers and they're perfect. Interviewer: Aren't dandelions weeds? Sunny: Only because someone wanted to sell people on the idea of a perfectly sterilized, useless, solid patch of grass which completely destroyed the biodiversity of most yards. They’re yellow, they're cute, I like them. Interviewer: Got it…

[FAVE SCENT:]

This is a hard one to describe, but do you know how sometimes you can kind of smell outside? Not like… exhaust and garbage obviously… but there's a certain smell that gets in your hair and clothes when you've been out in the wind and sun and you can just tell that's what it is.

[COFFEE, TEA, HOT CHOCOLATE:]

Yes please, all of it.

[AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP:]

Probably about 6 or 7 normally. I tend to wake up early after having to for most of my life, but I love going back to bed. I'll usually wake up about sunrise or earlier and go have a cup of coffee and check my plants to see if they need water and if Vik isn't up yet I'll scooch back under the covers and go right back to sleep for a few more hours. Plus naps, naps are great.

[DOG OR CAT PERSON:]

Chickens. Okay okay, I know obviously I can't have them in the city, but the farm is well outside the avian exclusion zone. Seriously, they're adorable. (Pulls out phone to show no less than 300 different pictures of chicks and chickens)

[DREAM TRIP:]

Honestly I don't know. I like being close to my family and being in NC, so I don't think I'd want to go anywhere long. I have some Nomad friends though so a trip with them might be fun, maybe somewhere with actual mountains since I really like climbing around the canyons and stuff we have out in the Badlands. 

[FAVE FICTIONAL CHARACTER:]

Hmmm… I'm gonna go with Bugs Bunny. Both extremely cute and extremely chaotic, I respect that.

[NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH:]

I usually start with one or two, but I tend to run warm so by the time I wake up it's not uncommon for them all to be kicked down to the end of the bed or piled up on Vik’s side.

[RANDOM FACT:]

Sunny: About me or just like… a fact I like? Hm, how about: it's surprisingly easy to get a wild coyote into the front seat of a locked car. You wouldn't think so, but getting it out is actually much harder. Interviewer: Okay... That's slightly troubling... how about a fact about you? Sunny: I know how to get a wild coyote into the front seat of a locked car. 

This was so fun to do!! Thank you @dreamskug for tagging me!

I have a few other tag things I still need to do with Sunny, I swear I havent actually forgotten, I just have terrible time management... >.>

EDIT: oh dang I forgot to tag people D: I think most of my cp friends have been tagged already so I'll toss it to @wraithsoutlaws bc I want someone to have the audacity to interview Dagger :P

[ghostoffuturespast]

No Friday field notes last week? 🥺👉👈 tell me one cool nature thing you saw last week. Saturday I got to see up close near my porch a robin with a beakful of worms. It's funny how they just kinda hang out and wobble with how they hold them. I also saw a wasp crawling along my sliding glass door so I got to get an up close look at its little face.

Oh! And Friday after my tattoo I heard a common nighthawk!!!!

Hey! Lol, I didn't realize the field notes would be missed so much! 🌿🌱🐣 🧡 Makes my little nature heart happy to hear though.

I try to do the field notes weekly, but there are times when I just might not have the gas to get to them. Summer is the busiest time for me work wise and this past month has been insane. Tail-end of field trip season, so I probably saw several hundred K-12 students in the span of 2 weeks, got sick, and then I've been coordinating installation and maintenance for a native plant garden.

June is gonna be even crazier because I've got back to back weeks of summer day camp (which I still need to put the agendas together for by like tomorrow lmfao), prepping for a booth at a comic-con, planning a community art event, field restoration workdays, more garden stuff, and I'm taking a plant identification course too, but the classes are on one of my days off, so I will technically only have one day off a week for the entire month... I will do my best to keep posting these regularly (because I do love doing them), but if I skip a week, just know it's probably because I passed out and am taking a nap.

Aw, mama Robin with worms! They are very cute when they are out hunting for food and I've seen quite a few out my office window this past spring. Bug faces are so fascinating to see up close, getting them to stay still long enough to get a good look is the hardest part though. Saw a neat metallic green Thread-waisted Wasp the other day (no idea on the species) , striking and beautiful! And a Common Nighthawk! I've yet to see or hear one, so that is very cool that you did.

What else have I seen... Lots of baby Bunnies and Prairie Dogs (all adorable), and the Bald Eagle chicks in the (4?) nests we've been monitoring are all fledging too which is very exciting! They're all getting ready to leave the nests. And the Pronghorn mamas are all about ready to pop, so hopefully we'll be spotting some babies soon.

Late spring flowers are starting to bloom here on the prairie! Rocky Mountain Columbine (Aquilegia caerulea) on the left and Western Wild Rose (Rosa woodsii) on the right. I'm very proud of those Columbines because they were incredibly sad when I planted them last year and they didn't flower. But they bloomed this year!

On my home brew native plant garden project, I'm happy to report I did manage to get 12 out of the 14 species I planted to germinate, with roughly 50% success rate, which is pretty good. (The seeds for the Little Bluestem and the Winterfat I think were blanks unfortunately, so I'll try again next season.) And my vegetable garden is getting there too. Snap peas and zucchini!

But, yeah, getting ready to blow half a paycheck on plant starts for my front yard lol...

[rederiswrites]

Incredibly, I did in fact get fencing around all of the fruit trees yesterday. Makes me wish I'd done it last week--but if you've been paying attention, you'll know I wasn't exactly sitting idle during that time anyway. I am still getting used to this health functionality--and of course, I don't trust it, but that's another post.

So, yeah, got some laundry done, fenced the fruit trees that are planted (which isn't all of them), watered and fertilized the vegetables and the strawberries. That part is a way more significant task than it should be, because my watering system--well. There is no system. I have watering cans, which are the only thing capable of reaching the far garden and the orchard, and I have a busted sprayer attached to a horrible hose for the kitchen garden. Only the front of the house has a functional hose. And I can't get the busted sprayer off the horrible hose. But the Boy helped for a good while with the tree fencing, and I really love his developing sense of himself as a helper and his sense of ownership over the tasks here.

ANYWAY. Scrubbed the chicken waterer and duck tub and refilled them, cleaned the chicks' feeder and waterer and refilled them three times, because the chicks are massive and messy and have seriously outgrown the brooder. They neeeed to go out to the grower coop, but we haven't moved it, and I can't do that on my own.

Very notably, very much did not do any dishes. So now we're in the "need a fork? wash a fork" stage of needing to do dishes. Ahhh, spring. The housework always goes straight to shit.

So TODAY, let's see--urgently need to move aforementioned grower coop, put the chicks out, plant the rest of the Solomon's Seal, plant the sunchoke tubers. Haul water to the sheep, shift their fencing to give them new grass. Get two blueberry bushes and three aronia bushes in the ground. Uh. Create menu, create grocery list. Optimally, go grocery shopping, but I don't think that's happening. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I dread ya, tomorrow. What else? Oh. Do the fuckign dishes. mmmmmm. Probably still water the strawberries and myoga and Solomon's Seal while they're getting established. Water and fertilize the poor abused fruit trees.

I'll uh, I'll just stop there, since obviously even with help I can't actually do all of that today.

[changingplumbob]

Knightstone Household: Chapter 6, Part 2

Adam struggles with his feelings over a possible second child, Suzanna and Silas have a park trip.

Adam also finds time to play with Silas

Adam: Remember our old friend the ring. Is it my hat or your hat?

Silas: *giggles*

He then gives Silas another bottle for dinner. Luckily Silas only burps up gas bubbles. Then he places him in his crib and turns on a lullaby

Suzanna: How was work today

Adam: You know work, there's always stuff to critique

Suzanna: I still don't get how you are comfortable putting your opinions out there like that

Adam: It took time to be comfy with it for sure

Suzanna: And now you're respected

Adam: Exactly

Suzanna: Are you sure you're okay with trying for another kid?

Adam: I have to be honest. Through the pregnancy I am going to be nervous and tense and scared

Suzanna: You don't like change

Adam: I don't, especially when I think we are part of a great trio

Suzanna: So we can't try?

Adam: Let me finish starlight. I will be a wreck but I want to have another child with you

Suzanna: Truly?

Adam: I love you, I love Silas, I'll love whatever kid we have, no matter if they're blue or pink

Suzanna: Wait, blue or pink?

Adam: Right, didn't hear the bird story

Suzanna: I did not

Adam: So basically this bird family had a baby chick. When it hatched it was pink, without any of their lovely blue feathers

Suzanna: Many birds hatch without feathers

Adam: The parents initially panicked because how could they look after this pink thing

Suzanna: Right

Adam: But they realised they loved the chick so much that even without feathers they would do what they could to raise it

Suzanna: Did the bird survive

Adam: It was an infant book, you bet it survived. Point is it'll take me some time to adjust but I will

Suzanna: I don't remember books being so metaphoric when we were young

Adam: Right! Maybe they were and we just missed it?

Suzanna: Probably. But you needn't worry about pregnancy, the watcher hasn't installed any mods that could cause death

Adam: How can you be sure?

Suzanna: I told you, all paranoid sims know what the watcher does

Adam: If he even exists

Suzanna: SHE does and she has our back, don't worry, I won't die from pregnancy

Adam: Promise?

Suzanna: Cross my heart and hope to die

Adam: Not funny

Suzanna: Hope to live then

The next morning Silas wakes up before anyone else so has some solo tummy time. It's still emotional for him, despite having met several key movement milestones. When Adam gets up he has to use a dirty sink, and in doing so discovers he is actually squeamish!

Suzanna gets Silas up and ready while Adam makes some food. I'm amused by the things sims pull out of the dirty diapers. Cars confirmed??? I jest, the routing in Sims 4 clearly doesn't allow for driving places and lots don't line up with roads, I don't think it'll happen. Happy to be proved wrong though sims team...

Suzanna takes Silas to the table and gets him settled down. They try some Oaty O's and Silas does not approve. Suzanna gets them cleared away while Adam gives Silas his favourite finger food, peanut butter puffs

Adam: Any plans for today?

Silas: *pats*

Suzanna: Technically it's Spring Cleaning day so I'll check what needs tidying

Adam: I would help, but I don't want to

Suzanna: *laughs* Save your strength for diaper duty?

Adam: More like build up my strength for diaper duty

Suzanna: Try keep an eye out for the flower bunny

Adam: That's today?

Suzanna: Should be but things can always get bugged

Silas: *giggles*

Suzanna: What will you do?

Adam: I need to publish my next column and work on writing before work today

Suzanna: I was thinking...

Suzanna: Fossils hardly ever spawn at work so I might take Silas to the park with me

Adam: Will he be getting a tiny hammer?

Suzanna: No, but that would be adorable

Adam: Back carrier?

Suzanna: He should be able to nap in there while I walk around

Adam: In disguise though right? We don't want him having the wrong kind of attention.

Suzanna: Of course. I'll make sure he's disguised before we even leave the lot

Silas: Mummy plants? Fun me

Suzanna: No starshine, you stay there and finish your breakfast

Silas: Pop pop

Adam: I'm here my dude, come on, two more mouthfuls then you can play

Silas blew a raspberry! Alas I was too slow to capture the moment but it was cute. He plays with his toys in the lounge while Adam works away at his writing. Suzanna uses the time Adam is home to fit in her workout so she doesn't need to leave Silas alone, the AI care is glitchy...

When Suzanna gets back from her run she has some tummy time with Silas, he seems to be trying to regularly balance on all fours at the moment. Before heading to the park Suzanna makes sure Silas is full and as content as he can be, tiredness not included obviously.

Silas: *spits out milk*

Suzanna: Oh dear starshine, is your tummy bad today

Silas: Bad

Suzanna: Okay let's check your disguise, can you disguise for mummy

Silas: Dis side

Suzanna: Dis-gu-ise

Silas: *giggles*

Suzanna: We are look human, we'll work on the word later

The pair arrive at the park and Suzanna sorts Silas into his back carrier for a nap. He tries to nap and eventually falls asleep while Suzanna digs up every rock pile and searches the pond for frogs. No new frogs unfortunately but we get new fossils!

Back home Suzanna tries to use her simray on a duplicate fossil in the hopes of finding a new one. The ray powers up, the light beam strikes, the object glows and... not a fossil. But it's incredibly cute so we're gonna keep it for when Silas has his own kids room.

Adam arrives home and immediately springs into pops mode, comforting Silas who is not happy at being awake so soon. Sorry buddy but you need a diaper change and feeding before you properly fall asleep. Adam helps him try some mashed carrots and they're a hit!

Suzanna got a scam call so takes her frustration out on the dust bunnies upstairs.

Adam: Okay my dude, night night time

Silas: nit nit time

Adam: That's right buddy, let's put on a lullaby for you

Silas: Star! Star!

Adam: Twinkle twinkle little star it is

Silas: nit pops

Silas is asleep early so Adam and Suzanna try for a baby before dinner.

Suzanna: Thanks for cooking

Adam: Just catering for your insatiable appetite. Thanks for... you know

Suzanna: *giggles* We do have fun

Adam: You're amazing, you know that right?

Suzanna: You have mentioned it

Silas: *cries*

Suzanna: What time is it?

Adam: 1am, go back to sleep

Suzanna: You sure?

Adam: I have tomorrow, I mean today, off work so I'll go check him. You just sleep starlight, you got him the last time

Suzanna: Thank you, tell him I love him, and I love you

Really not sure why Silas woke up when he's been sleeping through the night but the answer is probably "Infants will infant". Adam makes sure to get him as clean as possible, and as full as possible, and as comforted as possible before giving him a bed time story.

Previous Part ... Next Part

[dzpenumbra]

8/20/23

Ugh, it rained all day again today. So much damn rain this year, it's crazy. I was really hoping it would clear up, I really wanted to go skating.

I did my laundry today and washed the painted jeans and the cargo shorts with the deer on them. I seem to be all about leaps of faith lately. I put them both in pillowcases and turned them inside out to reduce abrasion. The shorts came out pristine. The jeans... they came out of the pillowcase in the dryer. And they took some wear and tear damage at the top 2 sections of the celtic knot. It's not bad, it just looks like a normal kinda faded t-shirt design. It actually looks much more natural, like it's part of the jeans rather than on top of them. But... with that lesson learned... I think I'm just going air dry them from now on. The wash seemed to go fine for them, the dryer kinda fucked it... so... I'm just not going to take the risk. It shouldn't be a big deal to just hang them to dry overnight. If the washing machine ends up causing problems, I'll just handwash them in the bathtub.

Handwashing in the bathtub, another spring/summer 2019 memory... -_- I got back to my house after having the counseling center convince me to go to a state mental health retreat for two weeks in the winter, and fucking mice nested in my stove and washing machine. They were shot. So... I didn't have a stove or washing machine anymore. So I managed to get a toaster oven from my mom's basement and used that and the electric burners on the stove for cooking, and I handwashed all my clothes in the bathtub for 4 months.

Why didn't I tell my landlord and have them replace it? 1. PTSD shut me down. 2. related to 1... it was "technically my fault". So... the combination of those. I've struggled with that for a long time. My landlords were nice and they would've gladly replaced it, I was just convinced that... they were going to think I was trashing the place... or a bad tenant... or I would have to explain where I was and why it was so neglected... and I was convinced they were going to get mad at me and evict me and my pets. And we had nowhere to go. So... yeah, that deep deep fear just crippled me and I never told them and ended up having my mom insist on replacing them for me after like 4-6 months.

So... no stranger to handwashing, that's what that story is about.

Other than laundry, today was not crazy eventful. The chick who does cosplay and engineering and all that followed me back and liked some of my posts. I messaged her the picture of the poster she gave me when I visited her on the road trip. She messaged me back late tonight a big all-caps "HIIII <3". It brought a smile to my face. It's just... very alien to me how different others' lives are. She's probably out with friends on a Saturday night and checking her DMs in passing. My life is just... stillness and openness and solitude, and if someone reaches out to me (which is exceedingly rare), it immediately gets my full attention. It's very different, and that takes a lot of intention for me to remember. And weirdly, it doesn't seem like others have that in mind.

A lot of people from my past have looked at the emptiness and silence in my life with envy. As though they would look at someone in solitary confinement in a prison or a Carthusian monk and just ooze with fucking envy. The grass is always greener, eh? Well... take a week and try it. Fuck, take 2 goddamn days and try it. Take one weekend, go to a shack in the woods with no electricity and no people, nothing but silence and you... for 48 hours. Every single person that has looked at me with envy... they would be clawing at the walls after 4 hours. Because they are envious of something they have never known. They just desire something different, they don't even know what this life is even like!

I, however... I do know what their life is like, because I had visited it quite a bit. And I somewhat envy them... and somewhat don't. It's a balanced picture, and it's simply a different life. But yeah, it's just a weird thing that I notice the more I kinda dip my feet back into the social pool... how goddamn different every other person's life is compared to me. How strange I am.

So... I have a strange upbringing, I am a strange person, I live a strange life, I think in strange ways, I express myself in strange ways ... Why the fuck do all these people think I should be in a "normal" career? It's so odd.

Nope, not doing career shit tonight. XD I overdid it on that last night.

The only other thing I did today was throw together an imgur album of one of my art pieces and posted the link on two subreddits. Not a lot happened with it. Lots of views on imgur, but not a lot of traction on reddit.

I don't mind blogging, as you can clearly tell. I don't mind doing video projects... but it does feel very odd when your video is really intended to be in an art gallery setting... and you just give it away for free to people on fucking Instagram next to an ad for some guy trying to sell you on his fitness program. It sometimes feels trashy, it sometimes feels... like selling myself short? But I honestly don't know where else to put it or what else to do with it. And it is really devastating to have like 2-3 months of daily work with almost no days off... turn into a half-dozen likes, a few of them probably not even finishing the 10 minute video. It's hard.

I know the answer to this is... go make in-person connections. That's the one thing I had on my agenda that I didn't get to today - messaging the guy from the art collective. The drawing session is on Wednesday. I've gotta make sure I have an unlined sketchbook that isn't completely spoken for to use.

So yeah, I kinda was in this mentality where I was like... "maybe if I just post the same piece on different social media sites... I'll see that my problem isn't that my work isn't engaging people... it's that I'm just not active on social media at all." I became a social media ghost for fucking years. ... Despite leaving very clear and elaborate messages on my social media saying I was leaving and "here's where you can reach me" and leaving my new usernames and my phone number and shit... ... Yeah, depressing-ass shit.

I guess it just takes a lot to fucking impress people nowadays. I don't know. Or I'm just around the wrong people, I don't know. I'm a little worried with how tough the cost of living is around here that no one I meet will be able to afford the shit I make. Like... I'm specifically doing things handmade, with natural products as much as possible, even making my own inks and paints and tools sometimes. That comes at a premium. I'm not just making an AI generated design and feeding it to a print factory in China and having that shit shipped to me. I'm building my own pen, brewing my own ink and straining and pressing paper out of wood pulp. (Not literally, though I've absolutely entertained the idea and it might be a future project, I have a book on how to do all of that...)

Isn't it weird? How if I were to cut as many corners as possible and make 1000 identical pieces that my hands never even touched... I would be considered a professional artist. But if I craft my own tools and bleed and sweat into my pieces... I'm considered a "hobbyist"?

Oh yeah, I remember, I don't want to talk about work stuff because I remember re-reading the first few paragraphs of my post last night and audibly laughing and going "wow, a bit grumpy tonight are we?" XD

Okay, well... here's something of note. I dusted off my old Imgur that I haven't used since the peak of the pandemic. There were two albums on it. One was a gallery of my two pets who are no longer with us - my dog Cerry and my cat Maxine. There was a picture of my dog sitting patiently and a little confused with my hoodie on and the hood up over her head, and her front paws through the arms. She looked cool as hell. And it's the same hoodie that I ended up painting! And the video was my cat sitting on the bathroom counter at the old house looking at me filming her and very gently and softly chirping at me and purring very loud. And... it didn't hurt. It hurts now, that hollow feeling in my chest, that grief feeling. But when I stumbled across them, it didn't pain me. I was happy to be with them again. And it was nice. It was kind of a haunting nice, but it was nice. Less like running into a ghost in a haunted house and more like chillin with Force Ghost Obi-Wan on Dagoba. I miss them both so much, my life is so much different without them.

The other album was a photo set of the first hike my dog and I went on after the pandemic started. It was in May 2020, right after the snow thawed. It was really nostalgic, I remember that hike very clearly. I forgot I posted all of those.

I haven't played the social media game... in ages. And by social media game, I mean... regular status updates, keeping people informed of where I'm at and what I'm doing... posting selfies... The last selfie I took... okay, this is gonna be dark. The last selfie I took was the exact moment that I made the decision to put my dog down, because it felt like one of the biggest moments of my life and I wanted to capture the facial expression of someone who just made an impossible decision, in case I needed it for a future art project. It's... haunting, I can't bring myself to look at it. But before that... the last selfie I took was probably 2020 for my dating profile, I just needed a more up-to-date picture.

I have been out of the social media game/habit since around 2016-17. It just hasn't been part of my life. I haven't had an active social media account that is my fucking birthname... since then. So... it's really no surprise to me that my entire life went completely downhill not just when I got in that relationship and that consoling center got their hands on me... but when I got off of social media and the internet junkie populace decreed me digitally deceased.

It was interesting to look back and see how there were moments when I really did try to re-enter digital social circles. And just fell flat. People just... didn't care, I was just another thing to scroll past. So I didn't bother continuing to put the effort into that, I'd rather put that time and effort into work and learning new skills anyway. I'd much rather share those experiences in-person anyway.

So yeah... I'm not super talkative today. I got it all out in my novel last night. The big theme of the day was trying to be a bit more brave on social media. Trying to face my past traumas with that. And opening my eyes to how different the rest of the world's lives are. And... seeing that not all of Reddit is bad... and surprisingly... a huge chunk of the toxicity and scary shit I have been encountering was just condensed in local subreddits... scary shit like... wanting to make it mandatory to inject homeless drug addicts with a medication that makes you ill when you do opiates for like 30 days? Without their consent? Like... mandatory... non-consensual... medical procedures? And I'm not really a fan of the crime shit going down here either, but like... I'm definitely gonna draw the line short of mandatory medical procedures, that... That's fucked.

I might as well vent about this. Yes, crime and drugs are directly correlated. Yes, even doing certain drugs in public is criminal. But the act of getting high is not directly tied to committing crime, it's correlated. Correlation does not equal causation. So... if you want to stop homeless people from jacking off in your driveway or leaving needles all over the place... bust them in the act of committing a crime. That's all you can do. You can absolutely enforce crimes. Crimes are enforceable regardless of who the fuck you are or whether you are high or not. Regardless of whether you are someone who works on Wall Street or someone who works at McDonalds or someone who lives by the dumpster behind that McDonalds... if you're jacking off in someone's driveway, you should go to jail and be seen by a mental health clinician. But, from what I've been hearing, the cops just don't respond to non-violent crimes anymore. So... they just do whatever they want. The panicked general populace, completely at the whim of this, is now saying... "well, if we get them off the drugs, they'll stop committing all this crime". Which... is a false equivalence, to be honest. A vast majority (I'd honestly say nearly all) of these situations are people with mental health problems that are not being treated, and drugs are definitely not making it better... but it's a stretch to say they're causing the crimes. So... they think that if you go and round up all the drug-using homeless and throw them in a pen and inject them with a drug that makes them physically ill if they get high within 30 days... while they violently detox in the streets without medical supervision... they think this is going to make the crime rate go down?...

There are not easy solutions to any of these problems, because... you know... these are human beings... with stories. And every single one needs something different to make things right in their life, because they're people. This isn't "what chemical do we use for the fruitfly infestation in our house". And it really kinda sickens me to hear people talk that way. Even if these people have turned into pieces of shit, they're still people. So yeah. My heart sinks every time I see this.

Here's a weird thought. When's the last time we've referred to any species of living being as "inhumane"... that wasn't human. How much fucking hubris can you have as a species to name the act of being fair and just and civilized after yourself... and then unfurl the toilet roll sized list of the biggest inhumane offenders... and they're all human. XD Ugh, we're such weird, weird apes.

So yeah, basically... I realized that my stigma of reddit came from reading the wrong subreddits, local subreddits because I had the intention of trying to meet people locally that way. And there are actually a lot of chill people and a lot of small communities where it's somewhat easy to meet people with similar interests. And it's not a bad place for me to be, both personally and professionally. As long as I keep myself away from... those people.

Yep, anyway, I'm gonna go now. Fingers crossed the weather clears up for skating tomorrow!

[that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick]

Summary: Winry sat in the optimal place to study in the school cafe for the entire fall semester. Then spring came, and suddenly some self-entitled twit who dressed like off-brand Gerard Way decided it was his territory. He was so not going to get off easy.

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.8k words of coffee shop/college AU with a side of enemies to almost-lovers

A/N: It's finals week, I posted this on Ao3 at almost 5am, and if the rest of the sentence didn't make it obvious, I'm writing from unfortunate experience. Not beta-ed or proofread, although I happened to see one thing to fix when I woke up this morning. Feel my raw power. Rawr.

It wasn't that big a deal.

It kind of really was, though.

Every Thursday morning during the fall semester, Winry sat in the same spot at the same school coffee shop. It was the spot sent by the entire patron pantheon of cram papers. Maybe one person didn't need an entire booth, but it was in the corner, and the tops of the bench seats had opaque plastic barriers that just so happened to be perfect for minimizing excess visual chaos. For the most part, there weren't loud conversations, and the jazz music that came through the speakers helped her tune out people ordering coffee. Add to that the fact that she could use campus flex dollars and not her own bank account that was begging for mercy, and it was the perfect spot to get papers done.

But apparently not this spring.

As soon as Winry walked in, she noticed him in the corner. Some emo wannabe guy on his computer. Probably on Reddit complaining about how women didn't appreciate the amazing pics he sent them on Tinder. Or at least, it was a fair guess based on the sour look on his face. Why did this guy of all people have to steal the holy grail spot? Ugh. She was still gonna get her coffee, darn it.

"You know the deal, Sciezska. Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer."

"On it! You paying in flex?"

"Yeah." She scanned her student ID and lowered her voice. "Who's off-brand Gerard Way in the corner?"

"Who's Ger—"

"The punk kid."

"Ohhh. I can try to get his number for you, if you want."

"No, he looks like a total tool! And not the kind I like dealing with!"

"Which means you think he's hot. I didn't think you were into that type, but you're not wrong."

"For the last time, no, Sciezska! He took my spot! And I'm trying very, very hard to keep this to a stage whisper, but if you keep trying to set me up with some random creep, I won't be able to!"

A distinctly male voice grumbled, "I'm not a creep."

"Keep telling that to the girls on Tinder. I'm sure they'll understand eventually."

"Yeah, and I'll bet if you look at your 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign a little more, you'll understand it eventually." He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that, Mr. Nice Guy?"

"Lay off, it's eight in the morning. I said the only reason I even have a Tinder account is because my roommate stole my phone while I was going to the bathroom."

"Well, if you didn't want it, why didn't you delete it?"

"Eh, I figured if I really got sick of being single one day, it'd already be there."

"Never would have guessed you were single," Winry said dryly.

"Come on, it's way too early to be rubbing that kind of crap in. Who says I'm not fine with being single anyway?"

Sciezska timidly spoke up. "Medium roast with espresso and vanilla creamer?"

Winry thanked her as red jacket boy continued. "'Edward Elric, Bachelor.' Almost sounds as good as 'Edward Elric, Bachelor of Science.'"

"B.S. degree. Sounds about right."

"About time you stopped acting like I'm an idiot!"

Winry snorted. "That's not what I meant."

"Hey!"

"And with that, I'm going to go find some other spot to write my paper."

Edward, as his name apparently was, scoffed and mumbled something that sounded like "good riddance". Maybe the librarians wouldn't get on her case too much for bringing in coffee.

-----

A week later, Winry walked into the cafe, assuming the circumstances of the previous week were an anomaly. They were not.

"Medium roast with a shot of espresso and vanilla creamer," she grumbled and sulked in the direction of the corner seat.

"Hey, don't start with me again, blondie. I've had a whopping four hours of sleep and I can't promise you'll like what comes out of my mouth."

"We're at a coffee shop. Get some coffee. I can't help it if you're too hung over to be polite."

"Now look, genius. I did not stay up until 4 A.M. working on a stupid chem paper for that sadistic pyromaniac excuse for a professor just for some random chick to accuse me of being hung over."

"Oh."

"Yeah. And for your information, coffee doesn't really help me wake up. It just helps me focus on homework." He lifted up his empty cup and gave it a shake.

"That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"ADHD is a weird thing, and yet, here I am."

"Huh, interesting."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up where I left off with the same stupid ten page paper I started last night."

"Oh right. Sure," Winry stammered. "Listen, I'm really sorry I just assumed things about you. It was wrong of me, and I'd like to make it up to you, if that's okay."

Edward eyed her suspiciously. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well...I could look over your paper once you're done writing it? I've got a paper of my own to write while I'm waiting, and I can sit right across the table here so you don't have to come get me. I won't try to talk to you or anything. Neither of us need that kind of distraction."

"Alright, alright. Get your coffee and sit down. The girl at the counter's been up there waiting for a good minute or two while you've been at confessional over here."

"Wait, she has?" Winry's eyes widened, and Edward laughed at her expense. He was kind of attractive when he wasn't scowling...wait what? She pouted and got up to retrieve her coffee. When Winry returned, she plopped down on the bench opposite Edward and opened her laptop. Peeking out from behind it, she added, "By the way, I'm Winry. I figured you ought to at least know the name of the person who's proofreading your paper."

"Well, Winry, you're the one who volunteered." The corners of his mouth twitched upward. The two worked on their assignments in silence, occasionally speaking up when necessary.

-----

Edward was in the corner again the next week as well.

"Hey, Edward! Mind if I join you for homework again?"

"Normally, I'd say no, but you didn't bother me too much last week, so you might as well." He turned away slightly.

"Great! Have you gotten your coffee yet? I didn't see a cup, and you got something the last two times."

"Eh, I haven't been here long. If you're going up and getting yours, would you mind ordering a caramel macchiato for me?" He asked, sliding his ID across the table.

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be back in a sec."

She returned and slipped his ID back before pulling out her computer. "Do you have anything for me to look over this time?"

"Not this week. But if you have anything you need looked over, I can do that, too."

"Actually, I do, if you wouldn't mind."

"Winry, I just volunteered. Just send the paper to my school email. Mine's 'elricedwa'," he instructed as he proceeded to spell it.

"Medium roast and a caramel macchiato?" Sciezska called out.

"Coming!" Winry replied and turned to Edward. "I just sent it, so you should be able to start while I'm getting our stuff." Eyes glued to his laptop, Edward gave a thumbs up.

Once she returned with their drinks, Winry sat down and wordlessly set Edward's drink next to him.

"Thanks," he muttered distantly. His lips mirrored the words he was reading. Though his lips weren't plump by any stretch of the imagination, they were shapely. His steely concentration made the air leave Winry's lungs. To top it all off, the first rays of sunlight came through the window just right, hitting Edward's hair in a way that made it positively glow.

What was she thinking? Those were only the sorts of things people thought when they had a crush. She'd only had two positive interactions with him, including this one. ...well, maybe it was a crush. She could certainly do worse than someone with a questionable fashion sense. After all, he worked hard, and he got good grades, if the quality of his writing was any indication. Okay, fine. He was also drop dead gorgeous, if you could see past his clothing choices. Yeah, she had a crush.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"...no."

"Figures. I finished reading your paper. It's not bad, I just left a few suggestions for sentence structure. Now I am going to enjoy my caramel macchiato." He took off the lid and breathed in the steam with his eyes closed, nearly drooping into the cup in content. When he opened his eyes slowly, Winry was awestruck by the similarity between the color of his eyes and his drink.

"What?" Edward furrowed his eyebrows.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything. At all. Nope."

"Okay." He shrugged. She reopened the document and went through his suggested edits. Gnawing her lip in concentration, she leaned forward a bit to settle in and tackle the editing.

"...hey, uh, Winry?" Edward gulped. "Are you going to drink your coffee?"

"Oh! Yeah, I almost forgot. Thanks, Edward!" she smiled.

"No–no problem. And you can call me Ed, you know. Most people do. Except for that excuse for a professor that calls me pipsqueak. Can you believe he's my advisor? I mean, come on, I'm a grown man. I'm not that short."

Winry made a poor attempt at containing her laughter. "Okay then, Ed. Prove it. Stand up."

"Fine." He slid out of the booth and stood. Winry followed suit and appraised their respective heights.

"Well, I'd hardly call you tall, but you're at least taller than me by a few inches, for whatever that's worth."

Edward grinned as if he had won some sort of prize. "Time for shorties to sit down now!"

"Watch it now. You're not too far from that label yourself, mister."

They both returned to their positions in the booth and worked steadily for the next hour. At the end of that time, Winry closed her laptop. "Ed, are you okay? You seem distracted."

"ADHD. I'm always distracted," he dismissed.

"No, like, are you sick or something? You did get more than four hours of sleep this time, right?"

"No comment." Ed's mouth twitched. He mumbled barely loud enough to hear, "Wouldn't have mattered anyway."

"Are you sure? If you're not feeling well, I can drive you over to the health center."

"N-no. That's not it." He exhaled, then slid a napkin across the table. His hands trembled slightly. "Anyway, here's my number. In case you need me to look over a paper. Or whatever. I've got a class soon."

Winry blushed, but tucked the napkin in her laptop. "Thanks, Ed. See you next week?"

"Yeah. Next week."

-----

Winry: This goes with your major, right?

Edward: Blocked

[fandom-collective-writers]

Mystery Date

Pairing: Ray Blackwell x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1,691

Written by : @rikumorimachisgirl

Disclaimer: I do not own Ikemen Revolution and its characters, but this fic is conceptualized and written by me.

It happened on a Monday - that fateful Monday morning, during the Black Army Officers' daily huddle, which you've started attending as part of Sirius's Intelligence Division. Today's meeting was the same as always - nothing uneventful, thank goodness - which meant you could start training with your troop in about ten minutes… At least that's what you thought until Ray asked the magic question.

"Are there any other items you'd like to discuss before we adjourn?" The young King of Spades scanned the room one last time after everyone had given their updates. 

"Oh! Oh, I have one! The Festival's on Friday, " your seatmate, Fenrir, cried out. 

"Yes, we are all aware and preparations are underway, " Sirius said calmly.

"Oh-ho, but we may have missed out on an item here - a very important item, " the Ace of Spades insisted, as he pulled you to your feet, much to your surprise. "This lady here doesn't have a date to the Lunar New Year Ball yet."

All in attendance gasped. All, that is, except for Ray. The King of Spades sat back at his desk, his gaze lingered at you, as you blushed furiously beside his best friend. 

"You should have said so sooner! I would've asked you instead of that Red Army chick that Kyle introduced to me at the bar two nights ago, " Seth whined. 

"Why not go with Luka?" Sirius suggested.

"I'm on duty that day, " the Lieutenant tenant General replied, dispassionately.

"See? Told ya we had a problem…" 

"You guys don't have to worry about it, " you said, cutting them off before they start giving out suggestions. "It's really not a big deal. I can be on duty on that day, too."

"Or you could get all dressed up and attend the ball with a mystery date, " Ray finally spoke, and silence filled his office once more, as he smiled smugly at you. "And I've got the perfect person in mind for you."

"Well, how about that, " Fenrir turned to you happily. "See? My best bud's getting you a date! What did I tell ya - it ain't a problem, right?"

"Yeah, " you replied, trying to conceal your nerves as you watched Ray leave his office, still smiling smugly. "It's gonna be fine." 

***

You lazily crawled out of bed, silently cursing Fenrir and Seth for your lack of sleep. Ray had snuck out of base after dinner and the two officers you were patrolling with did nothing but put ideas in your head. After getting dressed and applying concealer under your eyes to hide the dark circles, you head out to join the team for breakfast. 

"'Morning."

You jumped at the greeting and heard a familiar laugh behind you. 

"Did I scare you?"

"Not really, " you replied after taking a few calming breaths, as you heard him approach. "Good morning, Ray."

"Rough night?" He peered at your face, as the two of you stood in the hallway just outside the dining room. "Your eyes are red."

"Oh… I… I was up reading, " you started, while watching him cock an eyebrow at you. "I was reading through the applications we received to check for high potentials…"

"If you say so, " he said, but you knew well enough that he didn't buy your excuse. As he made his way to the dining area, you pulled at his sleeve to stop him. 

"Hey, Ray -"

"Hmm?"

As his emerald green eyes met yours, you felt your heart pound and your cheeks flush several shades redder. He was so attractive, it just wasn't fair - from his messy dark hair and naughty smile, his lean physique, commanding presence, and his love for books - everything about him was perfect…

Too perfect, you were sure his date to the ball was, too. 

"Uh, are you okay?"

"Yes. Sorry, " you said, shaking away your previous thoughts. "I was gonna tell you that you don't have to find me a date -"

"Oh? That's too bad because I already did and he said he's excited about it."

"W-what? You already told him?"

"Yesterday. But you can't find out who he is until the ball. That's how a blind date goes, right?" he smirked, gazing deep into your eyes. "Is there anything else you'd like to ask before we head on to breakfast?"

"Yes, " you said bravely, squaring your shoulders as you met his gaze. "What about you, Ray? Who will you be going to the ball with?"

His eyes twinkled as he smiled wider. "Why so curious?"

"N-no reason." 

"I'm going with the prettiest girl in Cradle, " he said, winking at you before he opened the door to the dining area and stepped inside. 

You watched his retreating figure, grateful to the gods that he was immediately greeted by the soldiers and the rest of the officers. If he had turned back, he probably would've seen the crestfallen look on your face. 

***

"He wanted me to ask you what color your dress is for the ball."

You stared at Ray in disbelief. He had asked you to stay behind after the Officers' morning huddle on Wednesday, and you thought for sure it was because of something urgent. There in his office, with no one else around but the two of you, you thought of all the dresses you currently own. 

"Don't tell me you haven't thought of that."

His remark made you wince. "Don't blame me. I wasn't planning to go in the first place, " you retort. "And I haven't even fully absorbed the fact that I have a date, so don't pressure me."

"Well, he has to know to be able to match what you're wearing." 

"I know, I know…, " you said, wishing that Seth was there to coach you. "What about the silver dress I wore to the summer ball? Jonah said I looked good in it."

You watched him wrinkle his eyebrows in thought. He seemed to be trying to recall what dress you were referring to. The dress had a modest neckline and a very low back and hugged every curve of your body. 

"Too daring, " he frowned. "Do you have other options?"

You sighed and shook your head. "I can't think of any at the moment, " you said. "But why don't you ask him what color he's wearing and I'll shop for a dress to match."

He looked at you briefly and nodded to signal that you could leave. That evening, you received a daintily wrapped package that contained the most beautiful blue dress you've ever seen. Along with the dress came a note that had three words. Three words that made your heart skip a beat. 

See you Friday. 

***

After the morning huddle the next day, you kept looking for ways to stall leaving the office before Ray did. When you were finally alone, he glanced up from his desk and smiled. 

"Is there a reason you're still here?"

"Yes, " you nodded and cleared your throat before walking up to him. "Please tell my date that the dress fits perfectly, and I love the color."

"Good." 

"Hm?"

He coughed. "Good. It's good to know you like what he chose."

"But I have a favor to ask, " you blurted out before your nerves got the better of you. "Can you please teach me how to dance?"

"Why me?"

"Well, I figured you'd know what kind of dances he'd like, and I don't want to embarrass him."

He stared at you thoughtfully, and you lowered your gaze as the silence engulfed you. 

After several seconds, you heard him exhale. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Meet me here after dinner, " he told you. "But if you step on my feet, we're stopping."

With that promise, you left his office with a spring in your step. He was glad you were distracted, else you would've seen how he smiled tenderly as he watched you bounce out of his room. 

And as you swayed to the music in his office that evening, you silently wished your mystery date was as amazing as the man you were dancing with. 

*** 

I'll meet you in the lobby of the Civic center at 8. 

You held the note Ray handed you that morning from your mystery date. It was five minutes to eight in the evening, and you had just arrived at the Civic Center in the Central Quarters. You smoothed out the elegantly embroidered blue gown your date had picked out, just as you had stepped out of the carriage. 

'This is it, ' you said to yourself. You were five minutes away from meeting your mystery date… and five minutes away from seeing Ray and his beautiful date. 

You took a deep breath and tried to shake the thought of the young Black Army Leader off your mind. Tonight should be about you and your mystery date - probably the only guy who took a chance at going on a date with you. 

"'Evening."

You jumped at the unexpected greeting, and you once again hear a familiar laugh behind you. You froze on the spot, your heart pounding wildly. 

"Somehow this scene seems so familiar, except I was talking to a spaced-out soldier that morning, " you continued to listen to the voice as it grew closer by the second until you finally felt his breath behind you. "And tonight, I'm talking to the prettiest girl in Cradle."

"Ray?"

You turned around and saw him standing right behind you, looking dashing in his crisp black suit and his bowtie that matched the color of your dress. 

"Hi, " he said, as he flashed you a dazzling smile. 

"Is this some sort of joke?"

"I can tell you it's not, " he said, as he tucked a stray curl behind your neck. "And you are the prettiest girl in Cradle - at least I think you are."

"Then why didn't you just ask me?"

"Because I wanted our first date to be something you'll tell our children about, " he winked and offered his arm. "Well then. Now that we've sorted that out, shall we go in, my lady?"

You smiled and placed your hand in his, playing his words over and over as you danced the night away with your one true love, your mystery date. 

The end.

[e3khatena]

Someone subjected me to it, so I'll return the favor. Do them all, yes?

*horrible but joyous raptor noise*

200: My crush’s name is: The pineapple one.199: I was born in: 1997198: I am really: Confused about things and such.197: My cellphone company is: AT&T and they kind of suck but not too much.196: My eye color is: Usually a bluish-gray, more gray in the winter and more greenish in the spring. Not vividly, still mostly gray.195: My shoe size is: 12.194: My ring size is: I think I have an Ace Ring in 13? So that, I guess.193: My height is: 6′0″-ish.192: I am allergic to: A hecking lot of types of medication.191: My 1st car was: A Hyundai that had it brakes rot out, the lower control arms snapped, and now it doesn’t have power steering. I just got my second car 2 months ago.190: My 1st job was: Alright.189: Last book you read: Legends of Localization: MOTHER 2. Super awesome.188: My bed is: A bed!187: My pet: Icha, a retired police dog. 186: My best friend: Dan. I have not talked to so many of my other friends in so long, I need to get better at that.185: My favorite shampoo is: I dunno, the stuff I use? I don’t study the bottle.184: Xbox or ps3: Wii U, to be completely honest. Hopefully the Switch is awesome.183: Piggy banks are: A typo based on a type of coin bank made of a certain type of clay.182: In my pockets: Actually nothing right now.181: On my calendar: I have class in Chicago tomorrow. :\180: Marriage is: Not something I plan to do.179: Spongebob can: Please get canned already? Fairly Oddparents, too. Actually, that one first.178: My mom: Is a mom.177: The last three songs I bought were? Two songs from the Diablo Swing Orchestra (probably the coolest hecking band ever) preceeded by Ballroom Blitz.176: Last YouTube video watched: A bunch of trash TF2 joke weapon demonstrations.175: How many cousins do you have? I dunno, like three or four immediate cousins?174: Do you have any siblings? An older and a younger brother.173: Are your parents divorced? No.172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes.171: Do you play an instrument? Nope.170: What did you do yesterday? My best.[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: Nope.168: Luck: I got all the bad stuff.167: Fate: If y’had a chance t’chainge yer faet, wood yeh?166: Yourself: What a funny story, Mark!165: Aliens: I mean, somewhere out there. They’re probably, like, bacteria, but I mean whatever.164: Heaven: I like to imagine the afterlife is one giant void where you just wait to come back and you get to see all your past and future lives but forget everything immediately upon being resurrected as a new human.163: Hell: See immediately above.162: God: If you do, that’s cool. 161: Horoscopes: Read six of them. Chances are, more than one fits you well.160: Soul mates: Nope.159: Ghosts: Nope.158: Gay Marriage: I mean, do whatever. If its not immoral and illegal and everyone involved is okay with it, then cool.157: War: It never changes, but I kinda wish it would. Why is it this hard for people to support each other. 156: Orbs: They don’t exist because nobody has ever seen a perfect sphere in real life before.155: Magic: There are people who claim this is real?[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: I dunno?153: Drunk or High: Having a height advantage to your opponents makes it that much harder for them to seek adequate cover and that much easier to defeat them.152: Phone or Online: I hate the call quality in the US.151: Red heads or Black haired: You don’t see that many actual natural gingers out there.150: Blondes or Brunettes: I mean, I’m blond, so there’s some bias.149: Hot or cold: The cold. LA would kill me.148: Summer or winter: Specifically the first month of the winter. Past that its gray and sludgy and horrible.147: Autumn or Spring: Spring.146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.145: Night or Day: The nighttime makes everything feel forbidden. I shouldn’t be out this late, I shouldn’t be doing this this late, etc.144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges. Citrus is awesome.143: Curly or Straight hair: I dunno.142: McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King has the better chicken nuggets, but both aren’t that great. In this town, its Culvers, Portillo’s, or you eat the DIRT you find in the GROUND.141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Like a 60% dark chocolate. 70% tastes great at first but the aftertaste is horrible, afraid to go darker than that. Heard 100% is the worst.140: Mac or PC: PC, since I make games using software that runs on 139: Flip flops or high heals: Mages with a high heal yield are always welcome in the party.138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I’ve kind of had it with the rich at this point.137: Coke or Pepsi: Regular coke but Cherry Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi is also back but my life was ruined when I found out its just regular Pepsi with no coloring.136: Hillary or Obama: I would gladly take either of them right now. Barack seems like he’d be a dad friend.135: Burried or cremated: I want to be burned to ashes and thrown from the mountains.134: Singing or Dancing: I dunno.133: Coach or Chanel: Coach was a playable character in L4D2 and thus is infinitely more useful.132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Who the frack are these people.131: Small town or Big city: I’ve kind of had it with the city.130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target. Or, for white people with minimal senses of humor, Targét (Tar-zhey).129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Stiller is meh but never reaches Sandler levels of awful.128: Manicure or Pedicure: [SOUNDS OF LITTLE INTEREST]127: East Coast or West Coast: The East Coast has HP Lovecraft’s home.126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Both seem to end in familial drama.125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate is dang wonderful. Can’t take a handful, eat the tulips. Y’just cahn’t do theat.124: Disney or Six Flags: Six whole flags. Great America has the Viper and its the closest you will ever get to a life-changing moment. 123: Yankees or Red Sox: I am indifferent towards New York or Boston, doubly so concerning Baseball.[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Like, really guys, talk out your differences and treat people with respect. Its not that hard.121: George Bush: He would have made a brilliant painter or a decent comedian, but for some reason he ended up as president. But now he’s paining portraits of veterans wounded in the wars he started, so there’s that.120: Gay Marriage: Of course.119: The presidential election: 2016 was a terrible year, can we just fast forward to an election where two decent, respectable human beings are being voted for on election day.118: Abortion: Every woman has their reason, and its not the right of men to get to decide what happens.117: MySpace: ‘sead.116: Reality TV: Ech.115: Parents: Its a toxic environment.114: Back stabbers: I get you want that double critical hit, but please don’t stab me. I just want to grab the papers. End TF2 joke.113: Ebay: I dunno?112: Facebook: I had a video of a chick being forced down a grinder suddenly load and go full screen the last time I used the app. Yeah no.111: Work: Cash money.110: My Neighbors: My next door neighbors are absolutely wonderful people. The people past there are pretty bleh.109: Gas Prices:  They’ve been higher, they’ve been lower.108: Designer Clothes: Heck.107: College: I have the presidential scholarship and have taken the maximum out on all possible loans and I cannot afford to live on-campus.106: Sports: Nah.105: My family: I am always feeling much better and more comfortable when spending time at a friend’s house than my own house.104: The future: Kinda losing hope, kinda just wish I had the skills to make great games quick and then just live in peace somewhere nice, kinda want to get struck with construction equipment, etc.[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: I couldn’t tell you, its been, I dunno, a decade or so?102: Last time you ate: 11:something today.101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Spent some time at a friend’s place Friday. Haven’t gotten to speak with them in such a long time, felt nice.100: Cried in front of someone: I dunno?99: Went to a movie theater: The last film I saw in theaters was Godzilla and I lost interest when Walter White died.98: Took a vacation: Absolutely never! I was in Florida for a few weeks a few years ago (2013, I think?), but it barely counts because half of it was rainy days, Minecraft, and Nostalgia Critic.97: Swam in a pool: Couple years ago?96: Changed a diaper: If this answer becomes anything but never I will have seen too much.95: Got my nails done: Never.94: Went to a wedding: Never.93: Broke a bone: Pretty sure never?92: Got a peircing: Never.91: Broke the law: I once forgot to stop at a stop sign nobody else was at. Take me away, coppers, throw me in the slammer.90: Texted: I think Friday night?[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Dan.88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Not having anywhere to be. 87: The last movie I saw: I watched The Adventures of Tintin for like the 9th time. I wonder how that film stands up in black/white. I heard really good stuff about Mad Max: Fury Road in B/W.86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Switch Switch Switch SwiTCH SWITCH SW85: The thing im not looking forward to: The hatred spiraling around the 45th President. Actual Nazis spoke of their goals and were praised on national TV. One of them got punched and is afraid he will become a meme. What the heck is going on. How much Nyquil did I accidentally drink. Is this a dying dream. Please let it be.84: People call me: Really needy and obnoxious. Or that might just be me.83: The most difficult thing to do is: Have one good day. Friday was the first one since probably October.82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope, but I did get one because my brakes went out and I hit the bumper of the car in front of me. 81: My zodiac sign is: Gemini, but it really doesn’t make a difference.80: The first person i talked to today was: Dan.79: First time you had a crush: Quite a while ago. It was the orange one and it was alright. Pineapple is the better flavor though.78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Dan.77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: I dunno.76: Right now I am talking to: A Tumblr text post.75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Design dem vidya gaems. 74: I have/will get a job: I have a job? Its my second one, been there 3 months.73: Tomorrow: I’LL72: Today: Is almost over.71: Next Summer: I’ll be out of school until September again?70: Next Weekend: Will be practically the end of the month? What am I supposed to put do--69: I have these pets: I have one (1) dog.68: The worst sound in the world: I have been woken at 2 in the morning by someone loudly blaring “Now look at this NET!” at me as a joke. 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: I dunno, Speilberg? Because he won’t make thAT TINTIN SEQUEL--66: People that make you happy: Dan and the other ragtag band of friends I have.65: Last time I cried: Like ~a week ago?64: My friends are: @eishkrooked​ @virtifrication-order​ @ahogehope​ and my non-Tungle friends Steve, Byron, Haley and Sam.63: My computer is: More expensive than my first car.62: My School: Costs far too much.61: My Car: Is alright.60: I lose all respect for people who: Justify killing or dehumanizing a lot of people quickly.59: The movie I cried at was: Wreck-It Ralph. Because I am a loser.58: Your hair color is: Blond.57: TV shows you watch: Actually between stuff because everything is over or on hiatus.56: Favorite web site: Steam, I guess?55: Your dream vacation: As many of my friends as possible and we all go to somewhere rad, I dunno where though.54: The worst pain I was ever in was: I once had a coughing fit at 1AM that caused me to spit up some blood and it hurt so bad I collapsed on the floor and cried myself back to sleep. But Death’s gonna have to bare-knuckle box me for my life, he tried to kill me with life-threatening pneumonia twice and that did bugger all. Come at me scrublord, I’m ripped.53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium-well.52: My room is: Barely my room.51: My favorite celebrity is: JK Simmons.50: Where would you like to be: Somewhere nice.49: Do you want children: Not really, no. Maybe adopt some? I dunno.48: Ever been in love: Nope.47: Who’s your best friend: This is like the third time this question has appeared.46: More guy friends or girl friends: More good friends.45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Ever get to steal, like, all the stars in a Chance Time? That power changes you.44: One person that you wish you could see right now: I want to know how Haley is doing. She moved off to Minnesota after graduating high school and has not been online in like have a year. 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I barely have a five-day plan.42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: I could die at any minute, lists just leave “I could have___”s everywhere.41: Have you pre-named your children: Nope.40: Last person I got mad at: It took Arin 4 hours to make it to the end of Paper Mario: Thousand Year Door’s first major boss. FOUR HOURS.39: I would like to move to: A nice flat somewhere just outside Chicago.38: I wish I was a professional: Game dev because then, again, good things made quick.[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: York Peppermint Patties, also a fan of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.36: Vehicle: Can Tesla just do a cheap electric car already? 35: President: Obama is definitely top of the list. Amazing public speaker, total dad.34: State visited: Illinois.33: Cellphone provider: If only Metronet could do phones.32: Athlete: JK Simmons got ripped, I can include him.31: Actor: See above!30: Actress: Ashly Burch (Ms. Pauling in TF2). 29: Singer: Lynda Carter became a freaking phenominal jazz singer between the 70s and Fallout 4. Probably the best part about that game.28: Band: Diablo Swing Orchestra, hands down.27: Clothing store: The cheapest one I can get good-quality stuff at.26: Grocery store: Jewel? I dunno, don’t hassle me.25: TV show: Gravity Falls deserves all the awards.24: Movie: This might come as a surprise, but the Adventu23: Website: Steam? I dunno.22: Animal: Samoyeds and Malamutes. Japanese Akitas come in third.21: Theme park: Six Flags is pretty rad. 20: Holiday: According to the store I work at, Italian Market is a holiday and now its my favorite holiday.19: Sport to watch: Not a sportwatcher.18: Sport to play: Used to spar. That was rad.17: Magazine: Rest in peace, Nintendo Power.16: Book: Journal 3 is such a fabulous blend of so many good things.15: Day of the week: Monday, actually. I don’t need to commute, my brothers are out of the house, I can record or work on personal projects, etc.14: Beach: Not a fan of beaches.13: Concert attended: Have not attended any live whatsits.12: Thing to cook: Pasta. And then I have it all. Because its pasta.11: Food: Read above.10: Restaurant: It depends. Subway is cheap, Corner Bakery Cafe is right inside Union Station and their Mac and Chee is awesome, but if money is no object, then I’d go for Olive Garden because “endless pasta” are two words that get slung around in there.9: Radio station: I hate the FM radio.8: Yankee candle scent: Fresh-cut lawn.7: Perfume: Nah.6: Flower: I don’t have an answer.5: Color: One of those deep, vivid blues. Something like Tumblr’s but with some more saturation.4: Talk show host: Nah.3: Comedian: SungWon Cho or Barry Kramer.2: Dog breed: 22 has all the answers you need.1: Did you answer all these truthfully?  I could be a jerk and say I answered one of these incorrectly, but nah, they’re legit. Or are they? They are. Or are they?

Thanks!