#things I did that I am happy about

[mistresskayla-blog1]

**My Past Lovers Series**

The Crooner

Characters: Lawrence x OC Kayla Crowe

(please forgive the images. Its a facsimile. I could not find one exactly right for him. His hair was dark red, and sat much like RA's during Uncle Vanya. Which is super sexy haircut I think. And he had a bit of a five oclock shadow, but not as precise as RAs of course. we didnt take selfies back then either, so I had to remember him, from, well memory).

Characters: Kayla Crowe x Lawrence (lover)

Fandom: Original Content  (Kayla Crowe universe – My Past Lovers Series)

Word count total: 4.5k  (2 parts)

Warnings: fluff, angst, one-night stands, p in v, oral (female receiving), showering together, condom use, intimacy, sweetness, karaoke, limited exposure, psychosexual attraction.

Kayla saw him get on stage, knowing some mutual friends, but never seeing him before. He was tall, with shady ginger hair and the brightest green eyes she’d ever seen. Kayla was instantly attracted to him. He was wearing a suit casually on his lithe frame. It made him even more dapper, in the stream of spotlights as he stepped up to the mike, on Karaoke night. He handled the microphone like an old friend, loosely, but focused, and spoke a lilt of pure velvet against her ears, singing “I’m Just A Gigolo” by Louis Prima. He sang it with style and panache and she felt her core twitch in response, as if he was singing for his freedom in some way, she was captivated. After he finished, she was up a few spots next.

Kayla kept her distance, watching him a bit, as he watched her. She belted out one of her regular favorites, “Criminal” by Fiona Apple, and he kept his eyes locked on her, despite a few ladies stepping up to him during her chorus. She didn’t make direct eye contact, and sang to the crowd, who were spell bound for those 4 minutes. She finished and saw him move to her friend Andrew, who was just as tall as him, whispering in his ear. Kayla moved back to her seat towards the front of the bar and sipped her drink. He stayed at the far end of the bar near the stage, keeping in conversation with his friends, whom were by coincidence hers as well. Kayla finally got her courage up, finishing her drink and walking up to Andrew and his friend.

“Hey Andrew, whose your friend?” Kayla asked, eyeing the shorter of the very tall men before her. Andrew was blonde, wide shouldered and gorgeous, but she knew he was off limits, and she respected that. But this other man, was a free agent in her mind until she knew otherwise.  Andrew smiled, with a wink in his smile, “Oh, this is Lawrence,” he made a sweeping hand gesture as Lawrence stood tall, “Lawrence, this is Kayla,”.  Lawrence smiled widely at her, “Hello,” she thought he was going to kiss her hand, but instead he kept his back rod straight and it was just the playfulness in his eyes that she saw.

“You were really good up there”, Lawrence began, half shouting over another participant who was butchering a rendition of My Girl. Kayla blushed, “Thanks. The crowd isn’t bad tonight”.

“Oh, are you here a lot?” Lawrence asked. Kayla nodded, “yeah about 4 nights a week actually”, She looked down a bit at her lemon water. She invited Lawrence back to the seating in the corner. She was sober as a judge and she still was drooling over him, in her mind. She hadn’t really dressed for that kind of interaction, but she was glad she had on sexy underwear. She sipped her drink, “I haven’t seen you around before, how do you know Andrew?”

Lawrence looked behind him, and chuckled as Andrew gave him a knowing look, “I moved away, and came back. Just had a -  (he paused fiddling), well anyways, I won’t be here long maybe another month, but I thought I would look the old gang up”. Lawrence smiled, but there was a sad story behind it.

Kayla kept her eye contact, “Ahh. I see. Well its still nice to meet you. Andrew and the gang are great. They have really made me feel welcome in the company”. Lawrence nodded, “He has his moments, I think they may be meddling right now, however”, Andrew stepped up to him then, shoulders on Lawrence’s back.

“You take care of our boy huh, Kayla?” Andrew said, smiling broadly and winking stepping away from them and exiting the bar. Kayla giggled up at Andrew, “Sure, of course, hes in good hands”.

Lawrence looked at Kayla then with a bit more interest, “Have a good night”, he said, to Andrew, without looking at him. The women trailing behind Andrew was smiling at Kayla too and gave her a hopeful look.

The bar started to drift towards the doorway as the night wore on. Lawrence and Kayla sat together and chatted in a way that can only be described as heated awkwardness. Comical chit chat that usually happens between two people that are sexually charged for each other and cannot do anything about it before finding out basic relationship status or locale of apartments. Lawrence made the first move, so to speak and offered to walk her back to his place for a night cap. Kayla agreed.  

Kayla had always heard that phrase in film, but never in her life, until now. Her boots were not made for walking this evening, but she did her best to keep his pace of long legs and as she walked with him through the downtown and all the way to his flat, she was nervous and excited. A guy that looked like this, into her? It was too much, but she endeavored to make the most of it. Even though she kept saying stupid things, he really was gracious, and funny and warm.

The walk took about 25 minutes from the bar and she listened as he spent most of the time telling his life story to her. She made quips and tried to offer antidotes, but basically she just let him talk. They both laughed at the same things and talked a bit about other life challenges. She learned he was fresh off a relationship, but long enough that he was able to talk about it. He was a chef and was moving to Atlanta from here. Here being Chicago. Kayla’s apartment was much closer to the bar than Lawrences’ but it housed some unruly roommates, so she opted to his, not knowing if she was getting laid or not, as open as he was he was still hard to read. He said his car was parked at home, that was comforting. Kayla’s car was sitting at her apartment as well. Though it didn’t go anywhere much except for a grocery run every few weeks. In your 20s you can live off a lot less actual food, and mostly caffeine and liquor.  

Kayla knew the part of the city his apartment was in, but about halfway through the walk, she was starting to get a bit nervous, it was nice that he wanted to walk though. It wasn’t the normal response back then. Get the girl home and start things was really the plan for guys usually. But he had watched her at the bar, not spoken up, chatted, and took a long stroll, laying his past out before her like breadcrumbs through the forest.

His voice was a mixture of softness and deepness, and he smelled absolutely fantastic in the warm summer breeze that blew by them every so often on the sidewalk. Kayla's feet were killing her by the time they got to the apartment, and she was a bit sweaty in her jeans and blouse. Her heeled boots clacked into his flat. It was a single man’s furnished apartment, some things in large boxes in the living room. Dishes in the sink, he worked very long hours, he said when she went for a glass to get some water out of the tap in the galley style kitchen.

Lawrence was straightening up his bed absently, as she came into his room. His smile was a soft smirk, like he was nervous too.  He came around the other side of the room towards her and stepped up to her. She had removed her boots and was now about 3 inches shorter against his 6’2” height, making her 5’8” seem much smaller. His hand went towards her face, and paused midair, as he leaned towards her, “Can I kiss you?” he asked, Kayla was so shocked by the question she nearly didn’t respond. She just nodded, murmuring a yes and he cupped his hand to her cheek and kissed her softly. It was the gentlest she had been ever kissed. And her heart immediately fluttered. He started to undress her, first and she moved to undress him.

Lawrence unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down slowly, revealing her lacy panties, which he pulled down slowly as well, coming to his knees before her. She bit her bottom lip in anticipation at his next move. But he simply rose to his height again, kissed her, and pulled her into himself, in an intimate hug. Kayla brought her arms around him in response, and ran her fingers up his spine, while his lips moved onto her neck and down to her shoulder.

They kept kissing in the bedroom and then as they both stood naked to each other, then he led her to the bathroom and started the shower. Lawrence led her into the shower first, then stepped in. Closing the patterned glass door behind him. They were now in the shower together, and able to see in the light over the pedestal sink what each other looked like plainly. He was immediately aroused and eager to touch her. She looked up at him like a fascinated sculptor looking at clay. She moved to touch his lean and slightly chiseled stomach, the warm water cascading down both their bodies in the shower. He cupped her breasts and Kayla let out a moan of acceptance. The sound of kissing, water trickling filled the small bathroom in ambient resonance. Lawrence spoke to her in praise, “your so beautiful,” Kayla smiled, trying to accept the compliment, she was hypnotized by this moment, standing bear in front of a man she hadn’t slept with yet.

It was a novel experience to be sure. No one had ever been so careful or so consensual with her before. She almost didn’t know how to respond, so she just continued to touch him and let him kiss her. The hot water vanishing the sweat from their bodies, for now. He turned her in the shower so he was on the spicket side of the tub, and now Kayla was facing the opposite wall. Lawrence’s hands were exploring her body, and he continued to kiss her water laden skin. The water stopped and he slid the glass door open, steam pouring out of the tub. Kayla exited first and stood dripping wet on his bathroom rug. Lawrence grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her, kissing her again on the mouth. He was so sexy, so tall, so gentle, Kayla just existed in this moment, trying to remember how to seduce a man. She was well able, but following his lead in this moment was way more enjoyable.

“Your so sexy, do you know that?” Lawrence said as they entered the bedroom again.

Kayla sat on the edge of the bed, and Lawrence gleamed at her, his hands on her thighs as he got to his knees before her. His eyes were hungry and curious, and Kayla was aroused even more, “Can I taste you?” Lawrence asked and Kayla’s pussy was aflame. She nodded, a slight groan coming from her throat.

Lawrence smiled ruefully, and dove his head between her legs, his kisses becoming more and more intimate in the shadowed bedroom. Kayla fell back on the bed and let him devour her in the lowlight. Just taking in sensation, the more his tongue played, the wetter she got. He flicked her clit, and her hands made it to his hair, as she gasped, “Gently, please”. Lawrence chuckled, “as you wish”.

Oh that did it. Kayla felt that micro-orgasm flush her cheeks, no one drops a Princess Bride line in her presence without some kind of reaction. Lawrence rose between her legs and his frame was hovering above her now, his lips wet from her folds pushed into hers then, he was panting a bit in eagerness. His cock rod straight against her thigh.

She looked at him, as he hovered, “Condom?” she mumbled. And he snapped back a second, reaching his long arm towards a bedside table drawer. Yanking it open and pulling one out. He ripped it open with his teeth, right by her face and expertly placed it on himself. His smile was beautiful as he looked down at her, he looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. He just moved closer to her, and his cock slid in effortlessly. It was long and lithe just like the man. Kayla clung to his frame as he pushed all the way in, and then slowly, and beguilingly made little thrusts in and out. Playing with her, like an musician to an instrument. Her pants and moans were music to his ears, and he kept kissing her for as long as possible before breaking off to pull out and roll her over. He lifted her hips up and took her from behind, his thrusts becoming more and more quick.

Kayla arched her back and turned to look at him a moment, his brow was sweaty and he looked like he was on the brink. His pants and groans were sexy as fuck, and she moved swiftly to stop his machinations.

“Where are you going?” he asked, surprised.

Kayla turned around on her knees, “You are laying down, its my turn now”, a glint in her eyes, Lawrence smiled and gulped. Then nodded compliantly. Lawrence laid on his back and Kayla straddled him, rubbing her slick pussy against his cock, in a tease, she eased onto it, inch by inch, her pussy pulsing against him. You could see his face clench in response, then he eased back, watching her. Kayla rubbed her own breasts, so Lawrence’s hands found their way to them as well, pinching at her nipples, as she yelped in delight. Kayla’s hand drifted to her clit, and she made little circles around it with her index and middle fingers. She looked at him, in his grace on his back, then closed her eyes and started to grind on him.  

“Oh god.. you feel amazing, …Kay – la” Lawrence cooed, his resolve starting to break as she ground into his hips faster, then slower, than faster again, bringing her own orgasm to its full illumination. Kayla started to moan louder and stronger and Lawrence followed her on that path, his hands gripping her hips and ass, as she went faster. He thrust up from underneath and she let out a loud gaspy moan. He gritted his teeth and cackled proudly, moving faster then her. She fell upon his chest as he thrust harder and faster from underneath. Her pussy fluttered and squeezed and he came hard inside her, the condom nearly bursting against the pressure. Though he had finished, he was still stroking, lazily. Kayla shuddered against him, and made little mewls, as she kissed his neck and shoulder. Lawrence rolled over to her side, and smiled at her, her eyes were drifting open and closed in sated sleepiness.

Lawrence cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, and meaningfully. His eyes searched hers a moment, as hers eyes flickered open. “Do you need anything?” he asked her. Brushing her hair away from her face and leaving it at her shoulder. She shook her head and closed her eyes again, smiling.

Lawrence moved to the bathroom, removing the condom, discarding it in the trash bin and wiping his cock and balls off with a rag on the sink. He splashed some water on his face and dried it with the towel hanging on a circular hook on the wall. He padded out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom and found Kayla snuggling under the covers of his bed. Lawrence crawled in with her and laid his long frame against her curvy one. His hand resting against her hip, facing her. She opened her eyes, as he kissed her again. Then he rolled to his back, and she cuddled into his chest, tucking herself under his arm.

She was halfway between sleep and wakefulness and he started to chat again, Kayla opened her eyes, to look up at him. Her hand resting over his heart. Lawrence put his hand over hers, and he sighed happily.

“God, that was good. I think you healed me, Goddess that you are”, Lawrence said aloud.

Kayla smiled, “Yeah, I do that sometimes. I’m glad I could be of help.”

Lawrence hugged her then, against his chest, kissing the top of her head, “You did. I thank you, sincerely”.

“Well you seemed so sad when you sang, I had to make you feel better”, Kayla mused.

“Is that it? Is that how I convinced you here, it was all your doing?” he chuckled, and she did too.

“No, I just thought you would be fun to get to know. And I was right.” Kayla answered.

Lawrence held her close and sighed again, then rolled to his side, Kayla spooned him, her arm draped over his side. Her lips marking kisses against the back of his neck, until it was just her soft breath on his skin. They both fell asleep relaxed.

(part 2 will post in a few days, just dripping for effect, hehe)

Taglist:

@sweetestgbye @lathalea @legolasbadass @richardarmitageshands @evenstaredits @middleearthpixie @riepu10 @richardarmitagefanpage @enchantzz @littlesweetdressmaker

thanks to my lovely ladies that support my stories, and there unwavering devotion to RA!!!

[hinamie]

surprise it's yuri!!!in 2024

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

When in doubt, Soup it out.

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[zodiac-monkey]

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[apnourry]

it was hot at work, i was hot at work, i forget the rest

[marshmallowgoop]

no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)

[eerna]

imma be so real with you I did NOT care for all the cutesy ways they presented Vi and Cait's disbalanced social status in arc 3

[twisting-in-wonderland]

Bye bye Sebek, :]

(he didn’t stand a chance, poor guy :[  )

[hajihiko]

The casualties have officially dropped to 0.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[marblerose-rue]

click for better quality!

requests from twitter ^_^

adderfang, goosefeather, dawnpelt

crowfeather, heathertail, frostpaw, sandynose

[funishment-time]

despite The Horrors, so many things in UDG really are just a hilarious concept because like. in DR3 we see the Remnants all going out into the world to Fuck Shit Up. and then Nagito is quite literally just babysitting an army of 10 year olds that really needed a time out

[kkoct-ik]

i dont remember why i drew this

[kelocitta]

There is currently a rather large discussion ongoing about the RW fandom behavior, drama, etc. I am not going to talk about the specifics of whats happened for a number of reasons. But what I do want to say is that if at any point you've harassed people over it, whether that be through anon asks or public posts- you did nothing but damage the ability for people to correctly process what is happening. You contributed nothing but harm to an already delicate situation. It does not matter what "side" you were on and I will not tolerate further interaction with me or my work if I found out you did such. If you let your personal hate for anyone boil over into threats, wishes for long term harm and petty comments meant to contribute nothing but slander or mental distress for the individuals involved who were already distressed (or acting irrationally) you did nothing but make it harder for people to process their emotions, thoughts and behaviors constructively. Regardless of who you think was in the right, who fucked up, whatever. It doesn't matter if they deserved it, or earned it, or if its an eye for an eye. Its difficult enough as it is to think clearly when presented with any kind of stressful situation and heckling people does nothing but make it worse and harder for them to explain themself in any capacity. I don't want you anywhere near me if you think that is an acceptable way to act.