#theyre going to be fire (pun intended)

[certified-bi]

Just to be clear this isn't intended as hate just simply my thoughts on why elemental isn't hitting with some people. Personally I'm not really invested in this movie being good or bad.

Elemental has reinforced something I've been thinking about for a while. In dramaturgy we ask "Why This Play Now?" Why this script, why our audience, why does it have to be a play. And for some stuff it can be simple. We're doing the Pigeon bus play because we have a child audience, it exposes them to puppetry and live theatre and it's fun.

Another thing that's connected in my head is how form is apart of the message of media. Why is this a sci-fi thriller and not an epic poem? Neither is wrong but the choice to go one route or another can impact the message, and if the person creating is aware of this they can use it to influence how the medium is received by the people who will read/watch/etc. It's why theatre thrives being interactive, but pre recorded media often isn't in the same way. Even in space with markiplier feels different from something like Stupid Fucking Bird(play) it's interactive but not in a live way. The content doesn't change(the clips are prerecorded) by how you interact with it, whereas in a live play the audience would be impacting the actors performance.

Why does this matter to elemental? Simple. Why this movie? Why does it have to be a movie? Why is it in a city? Why is it about elements? And the answer to some is clear!... until you examine the rest. It's in a city because it's a metaphor about second generation immigrants based on the experience of the director living in a city. Okay then why elements? Well at first we act like those that are different than us are dangerous to us... except fire and water don't mix? Like in a literal sense. So the metaphor looses a lot of people. And Asian person can touch a white person(pulling directly from the director's marriage he himself references) but Fire and water literally make steam and one will loose its form. And I doubt Wade is going to turn ember to coal or ember turn wade to steam. So the element thing just... misses the mark. It's like how zootopia made the predators and prey allegories for race which doesn't hit well due to... you know predators eating prey in our world. But pushing all that aside, why does their city look like a regular city and not seem to have touches of the elements? Like there are so many routes you could go with making a city built by just the natural forces. Or they could have less common mixtures of elements. Like a coal person. Or maybe some earth elements are more rocky and some are almost all plant matter.. but instead the idea is modern city and thinly reiled race allegory... oh and puns.

And that's why I think so many people are not hyped for this movie. Pixar was know for pushing what a film could be. Bao might have been a short film but it was pretty tight in playing with audience preconceptions and metaphors and it hit. Bugs life makes the comparison to working life while still clearly being about ants. The ant hill looks like an ant hill because there was no reason for it to be a sprawling metropolitan area to get across the message of workers struggle. Monsters Inc had a metropolitan area but it worked because the film centered on an electric fuel crisis and it doesnt wrok if it's about humans because theyre the monsters under the bed. You could change the setting of elemental or the fact that they're elements and it doesn't seem to make a difference... and I think that's why people are pre determined to be let down. And why the test crowds love the visuals but aren't impressed by the dialogue. Personally I think elemental is the next Soul or good dinosaur. Some people will really love it, some will hate it with the same passion, and most won't notice. It simply something different to put on to distract the kids. And I don't mean that as hate, that's just how it seems to be going.

[astronautbatman]

human target #1-6 thoughts

okay this is not getting read by anyone and this came out like 2 years ago but i really wanted to get some thoughts down.

first of all! the JLI timeline in this is somewhat confusing. ted and booster seem like theyre in their in the forties/maybe fifties for ted which seems about right, but tora and guy seem like theyre in their twenties/mid thirties at the latest? the age range isnt an issue by itself bc obviously the characters couldnt have all been the same age in JLI. but the way they talk about their days on the team together, it sounds like it happened a good few years ago so is the implication that tora was in her teens when this was happening? so then why does she look pretty much the same in the photos/flashbacks while ted especially looks a lot younger? and also they do mention her and fire being on multiple other superhero teams before they join the JLI like in the original run so how old was she supposed to be then ???

i feel like this issue is mostly because they wanted tora to be like this younger more innocent (or is she) woman to christopher guests middle-aged cynical man which is obviously a staple pairing in noir writing. but like … aside from the kindof weirdness that dynamic always brings, in this case it also confuses the story a bit. and it’s definitely a departure from the orignal JLI where her and bea are probably late twenties at the youngest when they join the JLI.

which brings me to one of the fundamental issues ive seen people have with this: tora’s character. she doesn’t really fit the femme fatale character but tom king keeps trying to force her into that role for the sake of the crime noir genre he’s going for and it just isn't working for me. more than (almost) anyone else she reads like a very different character than the one established in justice league international. instead of being generally quite open and honest, its implied shes trying to manipulate christopher guest with her feminine wiles (?) or something. which just seems like an odd fit for her character.

the only characterisation that i found more egregious was guy gardner (rip). it genuinely does feel like tom king had heard secondhand abt guys character, decided he was a bad guy (no pun intended) and wrote him to be that in this story. calling tora a bitch repeatedly, basically stalking her and christopher guest, overall just acting abusively towards her. i hate it! who let tom king near this man! never in my life have i seen such character assassination before. i never want to see the words ‘my little girl’ written on a page again.

i also did not really care for the way tom king wrote ted. his character in this can be simplified to just eccentric™️ businessman who talks too much. and is also the blue beetle. its not awful but i feel like it really misses what makes ted a fun character to read. like if you’re going to have so much text on each panel covering up greg smallwoods beautiful art then at least have him make a few jokes? i was also gonna talk about booster gold in this but its gotten wayyy too long so i’ll just say he feels like a bit of a caricature and he is saved only by greg smallwood’s ability to draw facial expressions.

saying all this, i actually have been enjoying this story. i dont understand why tom king didnt just make up a new superhero team à la watchmen and have the story been about them instead of using pre-existing characters whose personalities dont fit the genre. as a fan of raymond chandler’s books i actually think tom kings done a good job of blending the more serious noir influences with the superhero setting whilst still maintaining a consistent tone throughout. and the pacing is really good! it somehow manages to feel like a slow burn whilst having a lot happen over a few days. so its annoying that this story feels a little wasted on the justice league characters and vice versa.

anyways

i’m still kind of torn on this story and if i like it or not. i’m probably going to keep reading bc i’m invested now so if i do i might make a second post for issues #7-12. and greg smallwood’s art deserves its own post with examples so i might do that too when i’m finished with this.

[elaichoi]

hi ^_^

i have a priv pinterest board for ss's of twt+tumblr layouts i find pretty and aesthetically pleasing to look at and yours always make the cut, i seriously admire the effort you put into all your blogs' appearances THEYRE ALL SO PRETTY ??? like not just ur current themes but past ones as well 🥹🥹😭

i just read on here so i don't have too much of an interest in making an effort myself to make my blog aesthetically pleasing, not even the little pinterest board i've accumulated makes me want to, it's just there bc my eyes find them pretty LMAO however your themes r always so creative it makes me miss doing graphic design and want to pretty up my own blog even if i dont post 😭 theme on this blog specifically is my fav ! shes jaw droppingly ground breakingly stunning u ate fr <3

i always ss your layouts for my silly lil collection whenever i see you changed your theme<3 nothing in there inspires me the way your themes do sigh 🥹

this ask is ridiculously long sorry basically although i have no interest in making a whole ass theme for my blog your themes r always so fire theyre unmatched (no pun intended) it makes me miss the complex graphic design scene n makes me want to start editing again despite my creative burnout,,, not only pretty but inspiring!! anyways u deserve ur pussy ate from front back left right up n down diagonally for the time n effort u put into your themes 🥰 sorry for telling u my whole life story just to compliment u n ur editing mb T_T

hi!! [with the intention of crying]

at first, I WANT TO CRY!!!! ANON YOU ARE SO SO SO SO SO SWEET AND ADORABLE YOU MAKE ME WANT TO UGLY WEEP RN WHY ARE YOU SO NICE TO ME !!!!!? wdym MINE ALWAYS MAKES THE CUT ?! DID YOU MEAN TO MARRY ME THEN ARE YOU PROPOSING RN!! ILYSM THANK YOU SOso so SOO MUCH genuinely coming to me and telling this because this makes my heart soar so much like i can't believe something that I did made you feel like it was worthy enough of your time and to tell me !!! Literally GOING NUTSO!!!!,

i get what you mean by creative burnout omg but im so happy and so freaking surprised that my themes make you feel like this ,,like this feeling of knowing that someone appreciates my lil edits and stuff makes me want to levitate on a cloud and cry YOU HAVE NO IDEA ANON HOW HAPPY AND EXCITED I AM RN you are making swing my legs and grin and giggle and cry and write anons with little heart ISTG thank you so for coming here and telling me you literally made my day I love you so so so much !! Hopefully you'd keep on liking my themes in the future!!!

[colorisbyshe]

okay i'm back after inhaling a massive amount of smoke because someone set an expressway island no fire

6. The Feeling - I've had longer to sit on this and it reminds me sooo much late 2000s, early 2011s music where is is both feel good and ~powerful and I do love it for that. I can't tell if all the callbacks to Jonghyun are biasing me but like... I miss him, this song makes me think of him, and I love thinkig about him. Jonghyun, your star still shines so bright.

7. Like It - A song with an overwhelming dance beat, YES BABY! Love the vocals for this one and I feel like kpop club nights should have this one on repeat.' The song is simple but GREAT!

8. Sweet Misery - Something about the timing of where the vocals kick in is a bit off to me but it's still gooood. Feels a bit like a filler track but a Shinee filler track is better than a lot of what isg oing on music in general, not just kpop.

9. Insomnia - Not a stand out, kinda feel like I've heard it before, but I'm not mad at it.

10. Gravity - Wish the album ended on a stronger note. I understand that with the lead in from Insomnia to Gravity, theyre trying to go out on a more mellow note and are intentionally winding down but this song isn't doing enough with its mellowness. It feels like floating, which is pleasant, but needed a stronger infusion of melodrama and emotion. Especially with lyrics that have me ready to lose it!! Like...

Total album thoughts: Stronger than I expected from the Hard clips I heard. There are some STRONG points on this album, like some very high highs, and the low points aren't that low at all. Kinda disappointing for a fifteen year anniversary album but like... there isn't a single skip on the album for me. I think it maintains Shinee's identity (pun not intended), blends their solo voices well, and it... does go hard (pun intended) sometimes. 8/10

Shinee: Hard Review

Track by Track:

Hard - The piano bit makes it more interesting than the original clips I had heard before but it's still would be like... a fourth gen BG group having a song that is slightly better than expected. It fits GOT the Beat's experimental "throw any sound in the background of a song and see how it goes" vibe but it doesn't feel particularly Shinee. Also, no one in Shinee goes hard like a criminal... please... this plus the styling... yeah, Shinee this is not your lane please get BACK TO YOUR LANE

Juice - See, this feels like trying a similar ~hard concept while sticking to a more Shinee-esque sphere of music. Still feels a biiit too fourth gen "we're just gonna try out anything" energy without the pay off of the average Shinee bit of experimentation. But it makes me want to move. I could imagine going on a run and being able to construct a bad ass mental MV to this to keep me going. Wish the part where it slows down til the end and picks up again was more refined and allowed to linger

10X - Into iiiiiit. Ugh, I would love if this track was lavished with attention and given full choreo. I know it doesn't reek of ~single but I would LOVE to see it be given the treatment because this feels like something really attention grabbing and FRESH. THis song feels like more of a culmination of their combined solo identities than The Feeling was presented as.

Satellite - A bit slower than what I would normally go for but the vocals are soooo transcendental. It iiiis a song brought down by it's "rap" bits and imo it's not exactly doing anything particularly new buuut it really is just... a pleasant listening experience. It's enjoyable.

Identity - An immediate YES but I have been spoiled by live performance clips, lol. Just bop-central. Why was the conversation "Juice vs Hard" as the lead single WHEN IDENTITY WAS RIGHT THERE??????? It has the energy, it has the break down, it has the VOCALS, it has the danceability. It is sensual. It is FUN. It has the Shinee energy. PLEASE GOD SOMEONE LET ME INTO A TIME MACHINE I HAVE TO CHANGE SOME MINDS ABOUT SINGLE CHOICES

Gonna actually use this time to actually eat my lunch. Will come back with part 2 under a read more.

[lunarifie]

Rewatching Ninjago

(With no context other than the episode)

Hands of Time 3-4

Jay: (wearing the snake samurai helmet)

Nya: It doesnt do anything?

Jay: Other than make me look cool ;)

Everyone:…

Jay: What! Ik how to accessorize 😒

OH OH OH IK WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE PERSON WHO MADE THE HELMET

ITS KAIS PARENTS

I REMEMBER THIS I REMEMBER THIS

Wus so old 😭

ZANE. HES STILL UNCONCIOUS?!?!?

Yes kai. Go ask Dr Saunder for help. Youll totally not find exactly what your looking for…..

Okay… so Krux BRED snakes and made a new species of serpentine????

Thats… something.

The funniest thing is Wu just randomly falling asleep when hes halfway giving wisdom/advice

Wus doing this on purpose istg 💀

I remember it being this exact season where I started to legitimately like Kai as a character

AAAAA ITS LITTLE KAI

HE HAD FRECKLESSS AHDHSHFBSH

Im never getting over this

I love little kid Kai so much I NEED to hold him.

Im never shutting up about this

Lmaoooo the time brothers put Kai at undeserving high standards 😭

Like no. He didnt figure out your plan. Hes just here for advice.

Cole: Acronix! But I thought- I thought he got finished off!

No. He didnt.

You guys didnt think for one MINUTE that he mightve escaped and were very willing to believe he just died then and there.

Nya, Jay, and Cole (after watching Zanes memory footage and seeing Dr Saunders and Acronix): DR SAUNDERS?!?!?!?

Jay: Oooooh I always knew there was something snakey about that guy!

Nya: No there wasnt! Dr Saunders was such a kind old man. Remember all those school field trips to the museum?

I forgot they were teachers once.

Jay: EXACTLY! And how boring were those!

Cole (quietly and shyly): I kinda liked them…

Im being fed so much mudshock content rn that its honestly shocking (no pun intended)

Kais so oblivious😭

At least the mudshock team is gonna save him

YES PIXAL WAKE ZANE UP!!!!

☹️ she wasnt able to

Kai (refusing to leave because he might find some interesting info but completely unaware of everything around him) But you never know what will open a door to secret information…

Kai: (sits on a chair and opens a secret passageway and doesnt notice AT ALL)

Kai (suddenly becomes intelligent and cracks a piece of the puzzle): The helmet is just like the time brothers! That means Krux must still be around somewhere!

Krux/Dr Saunders: Thats ridiculous! I told you- (mustache rips and falls off)

Kai:

Okay but Kai can actually be legitimately smart when he wants to be.

BROOOOOOO

KAIS COOL AS HELL

FUCK YEAH

Jay: Wish we had the others to help us fight these snake samurais.

Cole: Well, say hello to our newest members! (Uses lava punch hands)

Cole (looking at his fists): Lefty! And righty!

Cole (does the punch thing wrong and has both him and Jay fall back from the force): Woah! My bad!

Jay (addressing Coles fists): Lefty, Righty. Nice to meet you!

Jay: Also, DO BETTER.

HFJSNFBBSNFBR 💀💀💀

Theyre so goofy I love them

Okay but how does Coles magic hands actually work.

Im a huge fan of their Hands of Time ninja suits. I genuinely love how detailed every ninjas suit design is.

I dont like this ☹️

Kaaaaiiii

Hes sounds so distressed

I promise you Kai your parents helped the time brothers against their will

This is actually reminding me of The Tournament of Elements.

Why is Kai so easily manipulated.

That doesnt mean hes not smart tho.

Props to the writers tho, theyre very consistent with his character.

Kai: (about to get time punched)

Nya: (water surges Acronix)

Nya: awww gee, what a mess! And to think we just cleaned up the museum.

I love her so much

Im used to Kai calling Nya ‘sis’ but I physically recoiled when she said “back at ya BRO.”

HELL YEAH SIBLING FIGHT

THE WATER AND FIRE SIBLINGS AGAINST THE TIME BROTHERS

Kinda sucks to be in love with your brothers wife :/

This is directed at Wu btw

I kinda liked that scene, it showed that Wu doesnt know everything. That hes just as scared as the ninja sometimes.

ZANES BACK BABY!!!!!!!!

Aaand hes talking gibberish

Pixals so pissed at Nya that she can’t figure out whats wrong with Zane 😭

Nya: Maybe what you need issss…

Pixal: Please dont say a new binary cord….

Nya: A new binary cord!!!!

Pixal: NO.

WU.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

THIS IS WHY YOUR DYING.

BECAUSE YOU DONT TELL THE NINJA SHIT

Misako: Tell them, they might be able to help.

SEE, EVEN MISAKO KNOWS WHATS UP

Jay and Cole: (trying to figure out why the time brothers are taking citizens)

Kai: (trying to figure out how to kill his dad)

??????

WHAT?

KAI TELL THEM WHATS WRONG

Cole: Did acronix do something to you?

Kai: More like what he said…

Kai: Dont worry about it, im fine.

Cole: Good! Cause its time to start-

HFNSJNFNSJGBE

That was the most least convincing ‘im fine’ ever and Cole just straight up shrugged and took it

Cole: Its time to start fighting!

Kai (seriously): So your saying we should kidnap one of those snake warriors for Wu to interrogate?

Cole:… well, I just wanna fight something- but sure!

Imagine if your little sibling was given legit authority and power over you as a ‘master’

This is about Lloyd being given temporary power over the ninja

Theyre acting so weird about it too 😭 which is hilarious bc i would act the same way

The ninja are like: are you being fr right now 🤨

Cole: Okay! temporary master lloyd in training, we mere ninja await your answers 😌

Okay but WHY are the time brothers vermillion warriors stealing all the metal?????

Dareth: SOMEONE STOLE MY TROPHIES!!!!!!!

Ronin: I HAVE AN ALIBI-

Ronin: wait.

Ronin: Why would anyone steal your fake trophies?

Dareth: I know!!! They were irreplaceable. Thats why im here to buy replacements :)

Ronin: …

Ronin: You want world championships this time or just intercontinental?

They’re genuinely so cute 😭

My new fav ship dynamic might be incompetent x too competent

Jay looks so punchable right now. Hes always punchable but like, his punchable meter is flying off the charts right now.

Jay: (slurping extremely loudly)

Cole: What are you doing!?!?

Jay: Im bored so im messing with Lloyd 😌

Kai: Yeah, well, now hes gonna start his plan all over-

Ronin: Sorry to interrupt what looks to be the most boring party game ever but the cities being attacked!

The ninja: YES!!!!

Lloyds actually making sense. They should listen to him…

Lloyd: Im ordering you to stay!

Kai: And we’re ignoring that order.

Be nicer to him :((((

My favorite reoccurring battle move is probably Pixal rerouting all of Zanes eletrical surges to his chest so he can electrocute his opponents

The time brothers getting lost in the tunnels leading to their own lair is so funny to me 😭

Ronin knowing EXACTLY what to say to get Dareth to fight is great

Hot strong vermillion warrior woman my beloved 😍

Lloyd: You heard Master Wu, he wished I was there for him when he fought Acronix. I wont disappoint him again.

Wu: You did not disappoint me Lloyd…

Wu: When I said I wished you were there, I was speaking you- the team. If I had brought you all, maybe things would have been different.

AWWWWWWWWWWW

See, this is what they need to do. They need to reassure Lloyd bc just LOOK at everything he’s shouldering.

Misako: Can I tell you a secret? Wu makes mistakes, a lot of them.

Yeah. No shit.

Wu, I get that you want Lloyd to learn to make his own decisions but my guy, NOWS NOT THE TIME. Maybe, idk casually have him ease into independency. BUT RIGHT NOW THEY NEED SOME SORT OF ADVICE OR HELP. LITERALLY, ANYTHING.

Zane (still speaking gibberish): The treadmill was invented in 1818!

…. Im googling that.

HFJSBFJSJR 💀💀💀

HES RIGHT.

Is Zane gonna be either offline, rebooting, or speaking gibberish most of this season-

Give my boy his character back. Show him cooking, being intelligent or just enjoying his life. Anything.

Nya: ZANE WE NEED YOU!!!!!

Zane: HOG KNOCK!!!

… did they really just…

I CANNOT believe they used up Zanes electricity, making him unconscious again. WHEN JAY IS RIGHT THERE.

Not to mention. After Zane passed out, they asked Jay for help. WHY DIDNT YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Oh thank god Zanes FINALLY back fr now.

Zane: What have I missed?

Jay: Oh nothing much! Just missing people and snakes trying to steal your metal skin :D

Stop. No. Wheres Pixal. Why isnt she in his head. WHY IS THERE ALWAYS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIS MECHANICAL BODY.

ED AND EDNAS METAL SCRAPYARD

Everyones going to save the people at the amusement park and Jays gonna be there all alone

Damn. Why cant villains leave Jays parents alone FOR ONE MINUTE.

Its as if other scrapyards don’t exist

[doseofheroes]

Stalling

Summary: When Bucky is injured in the woods, he comes across a small cabin.

Words: 4072 (wtf)

Pair: bucky x reader

Warnings: violence, swearing

A/n: it is literally my first time writing anything besides a paper for school so sorry for how terrible it is but I had the idea and wanted to try! Also learnt the hard way about formatting so hopefully its somewhat coherent. Also also I wrote it in a night on my phone... Idk if literally anyone will read this but im kinda happy with how it turned out so enjoy!

When you moved out to the middle of nowhere a couple of months ago you knew you were just stalling. After graduating university four quick years later you were no more sure of what you wanted to do now then when you started. So yes, time off to be alone and think for yourself was a stall tactic, but doesn’t mean it was the wrong move right?

The first couple of weeks were peaceful. You were in a small cabin you rented off airbnb located somewhere on the outer edge of the ** forest. Snow fell as slowly creating a fresh layer as you sat inside cozied up with a blanket and some tea reading by the fire. A clichè but still nice.

You made yourself some pasta for dinner and listened to some old Amy Whinehouse tunes. Cleaning up the dishes you decided to call it an early night and went to bed. Little did you know what or rather who would show up at your door that night.

==============================

Bucky and Natasha had set out on mission to the depths of the ** forest where a known hydra base was located. Their job was to only collect intel for now so they could make a proper plan and bring back the group for execution. The base had turned out to be much larger than they had anticipated counting over 250 hydra agents working on the base so far.

“How the hell are we just getting wind of this now?” Bucky stared at the base in confusion.

“Somethings not right. We should’ve heard about this one when we took out the others.” Nat said sharing a concerned look with Bucky.

“We shouldn’t go any further until we get the others” Nat said as she started to pack up.

“We need to figure out what the deal is here” Bucky started “we can’t leave yet.”

“Bucky, there are 250 of them and 2 of us. I know we’re a little above average but thats a bit overkill. No pun intended.”

Bucky smirked at her attempt at humour but there was no way he was leaving just yet. He felt something was off and he wanted to know what. “I’ll do a quick look around. In and out. No contact”

“Bucky, no. Dont be stupid. I get it, but lets not do something we’ll regret. I’m calling this in, i’ll let them know were heading back.”

Bucky sits silently for a second and notices she’s looking for his agreement. He nods.

As Nat trails back to get a signal Bucky turns back to look at the base. “What are you up to...” he says to himself as he looks around. Thats when he sees it. The ever so familiar blue liquid. Fuck he thinks to himself. Theyre trying again...more super soldiers...more....me. His mind flashes back to his hydra days and all the stuff they made him do. This can’t happen.

Against all better judgement he looks back at Nat who is still facing away and starts to descend down the rocks towards the base. He just needs to get the suitcase filled with the serum and get out.

Reaching the outer gates he looks around to make his plan. Thats when all hell brakes loose. A guard patrolling the fence line spots him and starts to yell. Bucky runs over to take him out before anyone notices but it’s too late. Next thing he knows hes taking on an army of hydra agents, shots flying. Nat hears the commotion and turns around. “I don’t believe this.” She says into her comms. She’s about to start the descent when she realizes its too late. Bucky’s down. They’ve got him. This just became a rescue mission.

==============================

Bucky slowly comes to and tries to rub his face but soon realizes he is restrained. Taking in his surroundings he tries not to let panic set in as he looks around the room of the hydra base. Everyone is silently staring at him now that he’s awake. One of the men mutters something to a nurse and she leaves the room. The door bursts open a minute later and in comes a tall thin man with a lab coat. “Hello Mr Barnes. This is a pleasant surprise.” Bucky says nothing but gives the man a blank stare. “I see, the strong but silent type. Well your timing is opportune for us Mr Barnes. you see, we are finally creating our own little army of, well, you to be blunt, and I think you can give me the answers to the questions that remain.” Bucky stays silent not letting his panic show. The doctor doesn’t say much more telling the nurses to start the work up. They start collecting blood samples.

Bucky knows he doesn’t have long before this gets real bad so he starts to form his escape plan in his head. The restraints do not feel like they will be too difficult to break out of, its the building he is unsure of, having been unconscious when they brought him in. I guess we’re gonna wing it he thinks to himself.

Once the nurses clear and all the guards leave except the two at the door, Bucky knows its time. He breaks out of the restraints easily, as he suspected. He knocks on the door and the two guards turn around, eyes widening with realization. They start yelling as he bursts through the door knocking them both out.

As he makes his way through the building things are getting worse and worse. Thats when he sees the doctor, face not of fear, but perhaps interest? Bucky keeps making his way out when he sees a guy blocking the door. He takes a good look at him and he realizes. Shit. This is no regular soldier.

He starts swinging and while he is holding his own, he is still taking quite the beating. I just have to get out he thinks. The soldier now has a rifle. great. Using his arm to deflect the shots he runs full force to take him down but takes a hit in his side. Bucky grunts as the shot stings but the soldier pulls out a knife and Bucky rolls in a near miss.

Ducking and dodging Bucky reminds himself he’s not here to fight, he just needs to get out. He turns and makes a run for it, and is almost home free when he feels a sharp pain in his shoulder and is knocked down. He turns his head to see the knife sticking out of his back. Pulling it out slowly Bucky cringes at the pain but the soldier is already walking back to him.

A knife fight ensues as Bucky desperately tries to stave him off. A realization comes to Bucky. I gotta take the hit to leave. Bucky slows his movements and he feels the knife go straight into his chest. Screaming in pain bucky pulls out the knife almost regretting that, but now, with both knives in his hand he is able to make a run for it throwing the final two knives hitting the soldier twice as he makes his escape.

==============================

Bucky is out of breath and losing feeling as his body tries to recover from the two stab wounds and the shot. He needs to find a safe place to get the bullet out.

After wandering for a few miles Bucky smells smoke. That’s when he sees it. A house...out here? He checks the perimeter for any signs of hyrda or that someone is living there. There is a car in the driveway but no signs point to hydra. He takes the risk and starts to bang on the door.

What the fuck? You think to yourself as you slowly wake up to a loud noise. Fear sets in when you realize someone is banging on your door. You sit in bed waiting for a few minutes hoping they will go away. When the knocking doesn’t subside you decide to go down and check out who it is. God this is stupid, you’ve seen horror movies y/n!!

You look through the doors peephole and thats when you see him. Its dark out so you can’t make out much but you can tell he is handsome. Really y/n? A stranger is knocking on your door in the middle of nowhere at 2 am and you think ‘ooh he’s handsome’?! You mentally scold yourself. Thats when you notice he is clutching his chest.

“Please. I know you’re there. I can hear you. I just need some help and I will leave. I mean you no harm” please for the love of god let me in Bucky thinks to himself.

You are terrified but he looks really hurt. This is a bad idea...you think to yourself but unlock the door anyway.

Bucky perks up at the noise and the door opens slowly. Buckys eyes look up to you and he stares for a second. “Can I come in, please?” He says softly.

“Oh yes sorry!” You say as you let him in, adrenaline rushing. He walks inside slowly looking around before heading to the kitchen. You go to turn on the lights and flick them on before he has time to yell “Dont!” But its too late. You gasp as you take in his injuries and blood soaked clothes.

You look up to his face. “Please, turn them off” he says firmly but quietly. You do as he says. He has the most beautiful blue eyes you think before being kicked back to reality.

“Are you- are you o-okay?” You ask voice shaky. He stays silent. “Well you’re obviously not okay...but do you need...how can I help you? Should I call the police? You should really-“

“Im fine, no need to call anyone” he says cutting you off. “Do you have a towel or something?” You sit there frozen for a few seconds before you spring into action. You disappear upstairs for a few minutes. Bucky takes a deep breath after you leave trying to reorganize his thoughts. The moment he saw your face he forgot, even just for a moment, why he was there in the first place. You had such a calming presence even though you were clearly panicked. You came back arms full with anything you thought could be remotely useful. First aid kit, towels, and a sewing kit you didn’t know you had until now among other things. As you head back to the kitchen you almost drop everything as the man stands shirtless in front of you. You regain composure placing everything on the counter pretending not to see the man smirk.

“I’m going to need you to take the bullet out.” He deadpans. “What?!” You choke out almost laughing at the thought. “I can’t reach it with my other injuries....” he trails off seeing the panicked look on your face “you know what don’t worry about it I think I can manage” A wave of relief floods over you at his words but as he goes to sit you see him wince and you know he was lying for your benefit. Be strong y/n you can do this, you are a strong independent woman “ I can do it. I can take it out. You’re clearly not okay.” Bucky is about to protest but stops when he feels another wave of pain. He nods at you and sterilizes the tweezers before handing them to you. You grab them reluctantly but give him a small smile. He doesn’t know why but that small action gives him enough comfort he thinks he might just be ok. “Okay here goes nothing” you say as he exhale deeply and stick the tweezers in. Bucky grips the counter top and groans. “Im so sorry!” You quickly retreat from your real life game of operation. “No I’m fine keep going” he says and gives you a reassuring smile. “So..” you try to think of some conversation to keep his mind elsewhere. “Do you like cats?” Oh my god bitch are you for real, you are gonna die alone. You clear your throat awkwardly, too late to back out of this conversation. He cracks a smile at your clear embarrassment but answers your question. “Um Ive never had one but I dont mind them I guess. More of a dog person I think” she nods. “Are you...a cat person?” Yikes this is awkward Bucky thinks to himself. But he kind of likes awkward with you. “ Im in animal person in general. Love them all.” You say half focused on the conversation half focused on his side. You try not to let your eyes wander to his abs...and that chest.. ugh is this a man or a god and thats when you realized you had stopped moving and he was staring at you....staring at him. Your eyes quickly dart away and your face heats up at being so blatantly caught enjoying the view. He chuckles and you quickly change the subject. “So care to explain any of this or are you just going to bleed all over my kitchen?” You say almost defensively trying to hide your embarrassment. Bucky stiffens a little. “Are you going to find the bullet or just stare at me all night?” He says half joking, avoiding the question. “I think” you say before grabbing onto the bullet finally and pulling it out quickly. Bucky winces. “that you are avoiding the question” you finish. “You know me so well already!” He states pouring some alcohol over the wound, wincing again. “Here. Stay still.” You say ready to stitch it up. “You’ve really accepted the nurse role” he says smirking “I appreciate it.” He finished more seriously. You smile back. God he loved that smile. Get yourself together barnes, it’s just a pretty girl. “Wait you’re not actually a nurse are you?” He asks suspiciously.You laugh at the accusation. “No. I’m nothing.” Wow way to spill all you life problems in one depressing sentence y/n!! Ughhh why can’t I talk to men. Well when they look this good...”What do you mean?” He asks ignoring the pain of your amateur stitches. Definitely not a nurse...“I just meant I haven’t decided what I am going to do, or be yet...thats all” you give him a weak smile and he nods in understanding. “You want me to do the others?” You point to his stab wounds. casual. “Uh sure, if you dont mind. Thanks” You nod again and begin working. You sit in silence for a bit before something occurs to Bucky. He didn’t kill that solider...they’ll be looking for him...and he may have led them right here to you. You feel Bucky tense and he begins to look around. “Whats wrong?” You ask suddenly nervous again. Wait when did you stop being nervous? “Nothing” he said quickly. “Well sit still im almost done” you say and he nods. You finish the last stitch and sit up.

“There all done! I cannot believe I just did that” You begin to smile but it quickly fades as Bucky immediately stands up and puts his shirt back on. A confused look grows on your face which quickly turns to fear as Bucky starts pulling out your kitchen knives and shoving them in his belt. He grabs your hand and starts to drag you upstairs “come with me”. You follow.

Once upstairs he looks around before opening the closet door. “Uhhh what are you doing” you say ignoring the feeling you get when he grabs your hips and moves you into the closet. “They must have followed me. Stay in here and don’t make a noise. Dont leave until I come get you.” You stare at him waiting for your brain to catch up. “Do you understand? Not a word.” You nod slowly. “You will be okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you I promise.” He turns to leave then pauses. “Im Bucky by the way.” “Y/n” you reply weakly. With that he smiles then closes the door and you hear his footsteps walk back downstairs. You sit in silence the only noise being your heavy breaths for a few minutes before you hear glass smash. Bucky takes in his surroundings, five agents, all heavily armed but no super solider. That can’t be good. He takes them down one by one with ease mentally apologizing for everything he’s breaking in your home. Once the last agent is down he steps outside and listens for more. He can hear them every so slightly which means they can’t be more than a mile away. He needs to get you out of there, you’re sitting ducks.

He runs back inside and grabs your car keys before heading upstairs to retrieve you. He swings open the closet door and you let out a scream and start kicking. “Hey hey its me!” You look up and realize your safe. “Sorry...wh-what happened?” “We need to leave. I got your keys, leave everything here, stay behind me” You get up slowly and nod sticking closely behind him. He walks slowly and quietly down the stairs then pauses. Oh fu- Buckys thoughts get cut off as he ducks to avoid the super soldiers hand swinging at his head. Ho. Ly. Shit. You think watching Bucky expertly fight what looks like a man but appears to have the strength of an elephant. You hide behind a wall peering around to watch when it hits you. Super strong men...bullets...bucky...im in an airbnb with the winter soldier. The realization hits you like a truck and you turn around stunned. You catch your breath and begin to watch again. Fear settles in all over when you see the soldier choking the life out of Bucky. Without thinking you grab a knife from the floor run over and stab him in the back. The soldier loosens his grip just enough for Bucky to break free and snaps the guys neck before he has a chance to grab you. “Thanks...” he huffs out holding his neck “we have to move” He grabs your arm and takes you out to the car. You both get inside and Bucky just starts driving.

==============================

The drive is mostly silence as you try and process what is happening and Bucky tries to figure out what to say. “You don’t have a phone on you do you?” He asks. “No..uh you told me not to grab anything” “Right” More silence. I have to say something Bucky decides. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. I wasn’t thinking straight and I-“ “You’re the winter soldier aren’t you?” You cut him off. Oh god. Bucky thought this couldn’t get worse, she called me the winter soldier, shes afraid. “I am- or was” He doesn’t know how else to say it without going off. You sit there for a minute in silence. “Ok” is all you say. Bucky looks at you in surprise. “Ok?” “Yeah, ok” you repeat. With that you shift in your seat and nod off. Ok...Bucky repeats this over and over in his head as he drives back to the compound.

==============================

“So..they’re going to be angry with me...just as a heads up.” Bucky says to you as you arrive at the compound. “What? Aren’t you the one who is injured and missing?” “Well, yes, but it’s my fault. I was reckless and I put everyone in danger. Including you. Im sorry.” Bucky suddenly felt even more guilty in remembering that you were now dragged into this too. “It’s okay, honestly, I’m just glad your okay” you said with a smile. It was true. Yes, you were scared shitless at the time but you’re not going to pretend you weren’t psyched to have met Bucky and soon the avengers! Plus..you were going stir crazy in that cabin... oh the cabin...there goes my deposit. Bucky smiled back and got out of the car. You followed him all the way through the front doors to the elevator and down the hall admiring the building around you. This is a Stark building all right...

Bucky slowed and you could hear the avengers in on the other side of the door discussing. He steps inside and stops. “Hey guys” they all whip their heads around to stare at Bucky. Smooth. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU IDIOT!” You hear a female voice. They all proceed to start yelling at him over one another. “Guys....guys...GUYS” Bucky yells finally prompting them to stop. He steps aside and you figure thats your cue so you enter the room. “Hello” you say awkwardly waving to everyone. They all stare at you then back at him. “Who is this?” Tony friggen stark asks Bucky. “When I escaped i was injured and I came across her house. She stitched me up but they followed me so we took her car and well... here we are!” “Buck, we went in to get you and you weren’t there. What happened?” Oh my goddddd captain america!!!! Neutral face y/n, neutral face, be cool. “I broke out about 30 minutes after I was...taken in... but they had a super soldier of their own. Barely got out of there with a bullet hole and two stab wounds.” Bucky says nonchalantly. Your eyes widen at the implications of his story. For some reason your brain forgot something happened before he showed up at your door. Dude was shot and stabbed twice! What the fuck! “And you coincidentally live up in a cabin in the woods alone near a hydra base?” Tony says to you receiving a glare from Bucky. “Wha- hydra base?- no, I rented that cabin, its an airbnb, I was just staying there for a few months” you say, looking around for confirmation that they believe you. They look at each other skeptically. “She stabbed the super soldier to save me- do I really have to say this?” Bucky tries to defend you. “Hey, look, I should just go home, I don’t mean to cause any trouble” you say suddenly feeling how tired you were. “I’m sorry, but they might have seen you, I can’t let you go home until this is cleared up.” Bucky says sympathetically. Your eyes widen at this statement. You look around at the other faces and your fears are confirmed. “He’s right. We need to figure out what their plan is...and no offence..but who you are.” Steve says earning another glare from bucky. You think about this for a moment. I guess I would be skeptical too... plus staying here wouldn’t be so bad...“Alright. Fair enough.” You say shrugging. Buckys face looks surprised but then relieved. In fact they all look relieved.“Well all right sergeant, show the lady to her room” Tony says grinning at Bucky. With that you follow Bucky through the building.

==============================

When you and Bucky finally reach your new room you can tell he wants to say something. “Im so so-“ “thanks f-“ You both speak at the same time. “You first” you say, giggling.Buckys heart clenches at the sound. ”Look, im just really sorry about all of this, I don’t know how to make it up to you.” You can see the guilt on his face. You want to wipe it away with your hands..mouth... god y/n, you sad little daydreamer. “Really truly, its okay. If it were to be anyone I’m glad its me, I was literally in the middle of doing nothing” you say laughing. “But I know how you can make it up to me” you say smiling. “How, anything” he says, face lighting up, not letting his mind go to the places her statement suggested. My first choice would be to for you to push me up against this door and make out with me buuuut... “give me a tour of this place tomorrow?” You say, the confidence of your subconscious not quite reaching your mouth. “Deal” he says nodding. His eyes linger over you for too long before he notices you stifling a yawn. “Sorry, youve had a long night, I’ll let you sleep. See you tomorrow.” “Tomorrow” you say smiling as he leaves the room. Left alone in this strange place, your thoughts swirl on only one thing, or should you say only one man.

=================================

To be continued?

Comments appreciated :)

[knifeaparty]

ive been thinking about and sketching a ffxiv/tf2 au so i am going to ramble about it bc where else to but here

mercs and their races, clans and classes so far:

medic: au’ra, xaela, scholar

honestly i thought of this crossover bc someones xaela looked so much liked medic everytime i saw them so... ive thought about elezen for him which would be interesting and make sense? but dragon medic is too fun. scholar bc, obvs.. i think its the healing class that fits him most with my complete lack of knowledge of what scholar is. hes def not a white mage because the whole uaaah nature thing and it would be cute if his little fairy was archimedes. the scholar aesthetic fits him more than astrologian, too. also the arcanist/summoner side job i think fits him perfectly 

heavy: roegadyn,  hellsguard, warrior

this is the most self indulgent one for me as an mroe warrior player. i think the reclusive mountain clan hellsguard fits him, even tho it’s more of volcano mountains than snowy mountains like russia.  as well as ofc the more beefy roe body type. i think a huge axe named sacha is the best i will get bc i cant just make everyone machinist lmao. also the close ties w warrior to hellsguard makes it an obv choice. *thinks about beat mode* i would like to see it. 

sniper: au’ra, raen, bard

NOW THIS ONE EXCITES ME THE MOST!!!! i ADORE thinking about raen sniper growing up in the dawn thrown around chad xaela au’ra lmaooo. the raen clan in the lost underwater city was just too tempting it just tickles me how perfect it is...  i remember thinking of this crossover before i got to stormblood and when i finally learned more about the au’ra and met the raen clan i went insane it was simply meant to be. me equating xaela to australians is what made me want to switch medic to elezen but there are xaela from ishgard too so who cares. also.. thinking about sniper in the bard outfits absolutely kills me. i dont think saxophone or didgeridoo are instruments in game but ill allow it for him. 

spy: elezen, duskwight??, ninja

this one was a tough choice, esp bc his race effects scouts... obviously hes a ninja, as funny as that is but his race is still up to debate. i didnt really think about the clan bc elezen clan stuff is barely a thing in game, and i would think hes just from ishgard, which makes him basically a wildwood, but i think him being a duskwight is quite funny as well and gridania is also heavily european inspired so, why not. i really wanted him and scout to be cat boys but idk who else i would make elezen lmao. and i cannot imagine an elezen miqote mix. 

scout: elezen/hyur mix, ???, monk

scout was a hard one to pin down, by god i want him to be a cat boy but also him being mixed and having the cute short ears and growing up in the brume is just too irresistible. obvs mother is a hyuran woman. also.. his class... i know ninja is like the “scouting” class and monk is a somewhat beefy tanky dps class but,  i think its the best fit. you do get that speed boost ability (that i never use) so ill just run with it. no pun intended. 

pyro: lalafell, dunesfolk, black mage

its just the obvious choice. blackmage has the most literal fire power out of all the classes, and theyre also just.. generally cryptid ass lalafell lmao. i think its cute and funny. have you seen those lil dudes? c’mon. pyro. definitely just an ul’dahn cryptid. love to see it. 

engie: lalafell, plainsfolk, machinist

this one tickles me especially i just love it so much. even tho all the mercs love their guns i had to give engie mch for the turrets. and i made him lalafell bc hes short. sorry engie my short king, its just too funny. i think he would be home to either limsa or gridania, you dont find many lalafell in limsa but i think he can match their energy. prob grew up in gridanian country side and moved to limsa for the business. 

soldier: hyur, midlander, dragoon

soldierjust being the generic dude he is (this is no shade i love him) is the american hyur. i debated his class a lot but then i thought about his rocket jumps and was like.. okay hes a dragoon. the aesthetic of it doesnt fit him but the playstyle does i think. hes prob from limsa or ul’dah. convinced hes fought all the wars against the garleans but has never actually met one in reality. 

demo: hyur, highlander, paladin

>>> or miqo’te seeker of the moon

demos the one im most undecided on. i just like the thought of demo and soldier being hyur bros but that means i have NO cat boys ??? i could make soldier, engie, or pyro one probably, but i’m just super attached to the races ive given them. engie and pyro being lalafells and soldier and demo being hyurs is just too good to me. i dont really think he would be an ala mhigan either really? i feel like hes just a gridanian. so seeker of the moon would probably fit better but i’m not sure. also paladin bc demoknight but i also think rdm or some casting dps for him would be fun bc of his cursed sorcery background. i think him being taught some blm and his experience w a sword through paladin would make him a good rdm one day. maybe hes a paladin that becomes a drk or something lmao. i think scout is the only one who fits the miqo’te body type too so thats really whats holding my back bc... i will not make demo a twink. 

something that deeply troubles me is the thought of bald catboys, which limits my options for assigned catboy at crossover. they have their hats but..... 

i also dont really have any ala mhigan or doman hcs for them the dawn throne is as close as i get but its just the reality with the tf2 having little asian rep.

[theamazingcaptdeadpool]

Sinday Meme for Characters Who Share a Brain

The original meme can be found here: x Characters: Wade Wilson (@theamazingcaptdeadpool), Frank Castle (@mementomorimthrfckr) and Ajax (@cantfeelsht) Warning: An abundance of words, massive TMI, cursing duh, threats double duh, Any complaints may be directed at our lawyer; @hellsainted

Frank scoffed as Wade had spent the last three minutes trying to figure out a title, brainstorming no pun intended with himself – and the result he landed on you already read. “That sounds terrible, Wade.” he grumbled and sipped his coffee. A sort of bribe to get him to partake in the thing. “You come up with a better one then, Skulls, and we’ll use that.” Wade fired back, thankful that Frank wasn’t known for his creativity. “What was wrong with the original title?” Ajax wanted to know and crossed his arms. He was leaning nonchalantly against the wall, watching the other two with what one could describe as ‘calm suspiciousness’. “It was too long.” Wade complained. “Not catchy. And we’re replying as ourselves. The original title suggested that the co-pilot do it for us. Or arms dealer. Or whatever the hell you call her.” he explained, because he could see Frank straining as he tried to work it out. Be nice Wade. I’m always nice.  “Why don’t we just get this over with.” Ajax’s stare moved from Frank to Wade. His former subject was the most keen on this, after all – surely he would kick it off.  “Best idea you’ve had, Francis.” Wade murmured as he counted the questions of the meme. “Alright, there are twenty questions. Let the sinning commence!” he clapped his hands and rubbed his palms eagerly. 

“Jesus,” Frank exclaimed and leaned over the table, snatching the laptop from the merc with a dirty imagination mouth. “I’ll read these.” He glowered at Wade who raised his hands in defeat. There was no point in challenging the Punisher this early in the game.   “What muse needs the most attention on sinday?” Frank read and for some reason found himself looking glumly up at Ajax who shook his head.  “Wade it is then.” It wasn’t that Frank wouldn’t mind the attention… he just wouldn’t actively seek it.   “Yeah, that’s a no brainer.” Wade murmured, he had somehow produced whiteboard signs and written “Me!” on one side and “Not me!” on the other. What? I came prepared. I always do. Yes, that is me being suggestive. He gave one to Ajax who reluctantly accepted.  “Just making it easier for us.” He explained, surprisingly caring.  “Whatever it takes to shut you up,” Ajax looked at both sides to make sure he hadn’t written anything funny on his. 

“Easy, Francis,” Wade began only to be interrupted by Frank who read the next question loudly. “Which muse usually stays silent on sinday?” Frank sniffed. He hadn’t partaken in any sindays, yet. “I’m not it.” Wade said quickly. “I love me some sinday. Actually every day is sinday in my book. Doesn’t always have to be sex. Severe procrastination. Excess eating. Pillows of blow…” “You ever hear of TMI?” Frank put the laptop down on the table with more force than he intended.

  Wade wiped one of the sides of his sign clear and wrote “NO!” only to hold it up for Frank to see. None of them had noticed how Ajax was holding up his own sign reading “Me!” and it took all his effort not to wack Wade in the back of the head with it. “Let’s move on.” Ajax shot in, before Wade could start one of his endless rambles. Frank glared at Wade like a teacher glare at the kid in class that won’t ever stay silent – that they’re afraid to take their eyes off because they know they’ll cause trouble. “Share some headcanons about your muses’ sexual and/or romantic orientation… You want to go first, Ajax?” Frank offered without looking at him. “Francis.” Wade corrected him. “Can’t feel. He can’t get it up – and can’t get it off.” Ajax closed his eyes, his jaw tense. “Wade is right.” he murmured. “I’m asexual. Except for specific muses. That has to be talked over in detail.” “Contracts has to be signed. Very Christian Grey. Wouldn’t play with him.” Wade turned towards the room and whispered to no one. Well, at least none that Frank and Ajax were aware of. They shared a moment of confusion, waiting for something to happen – someone to reply. As the silence bordered awkward Frank nodded and continued with the survey; “I’m bi with a preference towards women, but I’m not really looking for anything.” His voice was low. He wet his lips and averted his eyes, bouncing his foot impatiently. 

“I’m pan – the comics has me paired up with women and Spiderman. Over here, meaning Tumblr, I have a preference towards men.” Wade stated the obvious. Frank drew a breath to read the next question, but then Wade continued; “Men with metal arms. Men that are Avengers. Men that’s purple… Is that even a man?” “You done?” Frank wanted to know. They’d missed how Wade had fixed the other side of his sign – and was now holding up a “YES!”. “What are your favourite ship for your muses?” Frank was visibly confused by the question.   “For me it’s the Millenium Falcon,” Wade answered – hoping it would make it easier for the not so shockingly thick marine. “Oh, and I love my warship.” “I don’t ship.” Ajax shrugged. He saw no need to. “Cablepool, Winterpool, Cappool, Hawkpool – the one with Colossus, I forgot its name…” Wade counted on his fingers. “Thunderpool is kinda cute.” “You any idea what he’s on about?” Frank turned towards Ajax. “You don’t want to know, mate.” Ajax said with a sigh. “It’s a question about who you see yourself with.” “No one.” Frank answered shortly. He couldn’t be with anyone, because whoever got close to him ended up dead or worse. 

“Why so glum sugarplum?” Wade leaned forward. “What about Castlevania?” “Are you…” Frank was about to get fired up but by some miracle managed to compose himself. He cleared his throat and shifted. “Nevermind. The next question – “ Frank decided he best ignore the entire thing; he thought they were done with Castlevania. He was not to be ‘shipped’ as the kids called it – with Dracula. “Which muse is the kinkiest?” “Next!” Wade called – he was holding up his sign. “Me!” it read. And maybe that was the truth. Wade is into a lot of things, after all… “Which muse has the strangest kinks?” Frank read warily. Wade slammed his sign down on the table to grab everyone’s attention and held it up again. He pointed to it and looked between the other two; “Unless you want to list some kinks?” “Next.” Ajax nodded towards the screen. “You sure, Francis? I won’t kink shame. Maybe I could interest you in – “ “Next!” Ajax insisted. “Choose one muse and tell us how they lost their virginity.” Frank read. He thought perhaps they could draw straws or… “Rock papers scissors lizard Spock.” Wade said with remarkable speed and accuracy. 

“I lost mine to and older girl at one of the many orphanages I visited.” Ajax said flatly, wanting them to believe that it hadn’t really mattered.   “You’re so boring, Francis.” Wade pouted. “At least give us some details.” “It was quick, messy and left me wanting more.” Ajax squared his jaw. “Satisfied?” “Unlike you’ll ever be again; yes. Thank you. I’m touched, Francis.” Wade sniffed as if he was sincerely moved, whilst Frank hid a chuckle and shook his head, clearly relieved that he didn’t have to spill the beans.

“Each of us have to share a random sex fact… I…” Frank rubbed the back of his neck. “I like it when the woman is on top of me, so I can see her pleasure and have her in control.” he admitted. Wade gave an approving nod. “I prefer to be the sub – to give up the control, but more often than not I’m taking it because I get impatient – I think. What about you Francis? Any sexy secrets about your preferences? Oh that’s right…” “I get off on watching others emotions. Pleasure – pain? Doesn’t matter.” Ajax admitted – his tone threatening. Wade gasped loudly and murmured ‘Sadist’ under his breath. Frank blinked and tilted his head slightly to the side – as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Remind me again why we haven’t killed this guy?” Frank asked Wade. “You tell me. Hey, Francis, would you like to hurt me a little – how about that, huh?” “Yes, how about that?” Ajax pushed off the wall, his eyes like pits of hell. Dark, angry. A far too familiar smirk tugging at his lips. 

Frank’s arm shot out – stopping the villain from getting too close. “You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Wade taunted him. “Yeah,” Ajax snarled – pressing against Frank’s hand. “If you could organise… Seriously who made up these questions? Are these,” Frank turned the laptop around, unable to mask how mortified he felt. “Are you behind these Wade? Because I swear to god…” “I can take the blame for a lot of things – but not that.” Wade pointed at the screen. “Finish the question. I’m curious now.” Frank sighed and tilted his head upwards, as if he was asking for patience. 

“Alright. Alright… Argh… God. If you could organise a threesome involving three of your muses, who would you choose? I guess this one isn’t for us. And… heaven forbid the three of us ever get put in a room together again. Because the next time? I won’t go easy.” Frank pushed Ajax so he fell back against the wall and stared threateningly at Wade. “Careful Frank, he might like it.” Wade taunted. Ajax pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. He hated Wade for his ability to get to him.   “The next one is for her as well. What muse she’d like to write a ship for…” Frank shook his head again. “What the fuck’s up with all these damned boats? Anyway… I assume she’d like to try me out with Billy.” “Kinky.” Wade purred. “I’m already in quite a few ships. If we’re adding to… pfft.” Truth was, Wade was content with his situation, so it took some thinking. “A Nathan would be nice? And no ships for Francis. His ship sank the day he let Michael Jackson Dr. Killebrew fiddle with his body.” Wade clicked his tongue and winked at Ajax. 

“How can you possibly know – “ Ajax began – cut off by Frank as he read the next question. “What are some preferences when deciding whether or not to ship a muse?” Frank frowned at the screen. “Read the rules, play nice, write well – I don’t know.” Wade hummed in agreement.  “And don’t assume we’ll ship – I don’t know about the other two, but I’m picky.” “You? Picky?” Ajax scoffed and leered at him. “Do you get to be?” “Well – I can’t fuck all the people who’s bummed because you couldn’t get it up for them.” Wade fired back. 

Frank rubbed his face – considering shooting them both. Ajax wouldn’t feel it, but he could die. Wade would feel it and couldn’t die. What a trio they were… “Are you guys DONE bickering yet?” he sounded tiredly. “Never,” Wade answered as he breathed in. Ajax rolled his eyes. “I prefer missionary or the cowgirl or whatever it’s known as these days. I like the intimacy. The control or giving up of. I like to touch, to see…” Frank’s words grew with passion as he spoke. Wade blinked and looked at him. “What are you on about?” “The next question. I figured I might finish this on my own and get the hell out.” Frank was done with the bullshit.   “What was the question?” Wade put his hands on the table and leaned forward. “Headcanons, sex positions.” Frank scratched his cheek, and glanced up at Ajax. “You outta this one, too?”

“Against a wall… Or relentless teasing,” Ajax didn’t even get to finish before Wade corrected him; “Endless foreplay,” “To draw as much sound from the other part as possible.” Ajax blinked and turned slowly towards Wade. “What about you then, collared and on your knees begging for it?” 

“Actually that’s not that far from the truth. But I like a lot of things. Depends on my partner and whether I’m giving up control or not.” Wade shrugged. “How much time – “ Frank already began reading the next question. “ – none, then.” Wade sighed. “Has she written smut for you guys? Because that’s a no for me.” Frank didn’t take his eyes off the screen – this he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Ajax arched an eyebrow and cocked his head, Wade nodded vigorously. “I suppose neither of you know whether she prefers to write it or not?” Frank huffed and leaned back into his chair. “How are we supposed to answer these questions when they’re not even… yes… Wade?” Much to his surprise Wade has raised his hand. 

“Thank you. I happen to know that she don’t mind writing smut, but she has to feel comfortable with the person she’s writing it with.” “Multiship or singleship?” Frank turned to Ajax. He couldn’t stand the guy, but at least he’d had the decency to explain some of these things to him. “Is no ship an option?” Ajax smirked. It should be pretty clear at this point that he didn’t ship. “It is now. I’m on the fence. I wouldn’t ship with someone exclusively I think.” Frank grimaced at himself, as he was now using Tumblr and games own terms.   “Good call, Frank! For me it’s multiship all the way.” Wade drew a horizontal line in the air before him. “I’m not exclusive either.” “Huh, I think we just answered the next question. So… What is our shipping preferences? Weren’t we over that? Chemistry?” Frank thought that slow-burn sounded nice, but neither of the other guys seemed like the “slow burn” type. He didn’t know how wrong he was in his assumptions. “Yeah. What would you call my ship with Thanos? Because… that’s like… unhealthy. Toxic ships? I guess we’re semi into that? Aren’t we Francis?” Wade winked at him. Damn was he having a field day. Ajax on his end just shook his head and slammed his shoulders back against the wall. “What’s an OC?” Frank glanced up from the screen, relieved that they were close to done.  “Original character. We don’t really do those.” Wade knew that was frowned upon in the roleplaying community, but he didn’t give a shit. “I don’t know about you, but I have more than enough with the canon characters.” On most days, he actually had more than enough with himself. Ajax and Frank both seemed on board with that. 

“So,” Frank turned the laptop off and pulled the screen down. “That’s it. We’re done. Let’s never do it again.” his knees cracked as he stood up. 

“Or the next time we can get naked and –“ Wade began,  Frank pulled his gun and aimed it straight at his crotch. 

“You don’t want to finish that sentence.” his voice was low, barely audible.  “You don’t want to shoot me, Francis might get off on it.” Wade kindly reminded him.  “Oh my fucking…” Frank rubbed his face and headed out of the room. There wasn’t enough booze in the world to make him forget. 

“Hey – are you off to kill someone? Do you have a team yet – hey Frank, wait up!” Wade picked up his swords and chased after the Punisher. Ajax sighed and pushed his shoulders down. Being around Wade always made him tense up. He rolled his head from side to side, then left through the back door – half expecting the two of them to be waiting to kill him.

If you made it this far, please let me know what you think. No, Frank didn’t kill Ajax. Yet. 

[tacogawa]

The Lords & Winter

I did a summer one so why not winter...it snowed yesterday already here and it's cold af here so lets get to it! Totally love when the weather decides to casually skip over autumn

- Nobunaga acts chill (pun intended) throughout the day but the moment he gets back to his room he has several haori's wrapped around him. Also an excuse for mc to make hot coco (somehow, she will find a way!! i believe !) Snowball fights are his fav. Jumps into deep snowbanks when no one is looking

- Mitsuhide tells everyone that he isnt cold but the moment he's alone with Mc he's holding her hand and dragging her to his room for cuddles..tells her they can get warmer faster. Throws snowballs at people and walks away like nothing happened

- Hideyoshi makes sure everyone is always toasty warm before himself, he'll make warm drinks & food & bring them to meetings or have them delivered throughout the day to everyone. Probably has several ice sculptures & snowmen made to resemble Nobunaga...

- Mitsunari loves the winter. Loves watching the snow fall and running through fresh fallen snow, you will find snow angels all over Azuchi. Is the type to eat snow and ice for fun and if dared (cough ieyasu cough) would lick a lampost in winter, or whatever the equivilent of that is

- Ieyasu just....does his best to avoid the cold. Secretly likes to go for long walks through the woods and building little snowmen but if you mention it he will deny it. Spends extra time with Mitsunari just to dare him to lick frozen objects or will ""accidentally"" trip him into a snow bank. Winter is also an excuse to eat even more spicy food

- Masamune uses this chance to have snowball fights and build snow forts and invite everyone. Also, lots & lots of warm food

- Kennyo camps outside inviting all the animals to warm up at his fire, probably taking care of his army of cats except now theyre an army of cold cats. Loves the smell of the crisp winter air. Does he casually build snow cats? You bet he tries to at least

- Shingen? Has his tiddies out, still. No weather will ever make him cover them. Somehow uses winter, snow, the cold, etc to flirt and it is successful... The type to wear an ugly christmas sweater and still look hella attractive and are those tiddies out again?!

- Kenshin becomes one with the land, hello he's pale, wears pale colors and is a literal ice cube. He and his rabbits magically disappear. You can probably find him chopping up snowmen that a certain ninja built. If you thought he drank a lot before well think again! Alcohol makes him feel warm he says, thus he drinks more than usual

- Yukimura is the type to go camping smack dab in the middle of winter. It's just another season so why should he stop doing things he enjoys? He threw Sasuke into a snow bank more than once

-Snowball fights? ✔ Cant see because his glasses are fogging up? ✔ A small part of Sasuke misses heating and hot coco of the modern era but he makes do with running from Kenshin instead, he gets warmed up quite fast from running away. Teaches the Kasugayama fam about skating and christmas, it doesnt go down as well as he expected.

Bonus

- Motonari is sailing to who knows where. His heart is full and nip nops ready to cut a bitch. Ice in the way of his ship? No worries he'll just fucking sail on right through

Rip

[izukulove]

i have 11 ocs so... here i go? (and none of them have names or proper designs because im too lazy). I guess i'll start with the teacher. he has a limb generation quirk, where he can grow extra arms/legs, but only 1 on each arm/leg. Toward his students, he's like a parental figure, always encourages them to do their best and listens to any all of their problems. Toward any other person he treats them with the same amount of respect they give him. Also has a wife and daughter with teleport quirk

oc 2/11: prickly boy has a spike quirk that lets spikes poke out of his back and arms-can control length and sharpness on back while ones on arms can be pulled off. He’s quiet in class so people think hes shy but really he’s just super awkward. hes a pure boy underneath so please talk to him. due to puncturing his moms hand when his quirk manifested, he’s scared to have contact with other people and panics when touched. prickly boy is my personal favourite because he reminds me of me

oc 3/11: cloud girl (hero name Cloud Nine) has a cloud-like partner that follows her (similar to dark shadow except it’s always there). Often talks to the cloud, which she calls Cirrus, since it ‘talks back’. her classmates can’t hear it,so shes normally seen as weird or crazy. CN doesnt mind. Her mood bounces a lot too, so its difficult to keep up with her. Fiercely loyal, and ready to fight if someone she likes has been hurt (will offer to ‘fight their feeings’). overall a bouncy good girl

oc 4/11: fire breath boy (hero name Flamethrower) has… a self explanatory quirk. often described as a firecracker since hes so hyper one moment and tired the next. also likes to come up with weird theories (he would go crazy if he found out midoriyas dads quirk) and they usually spread like wildfire. I actually don’t have that much on him since he’s fairly new but another good, slightly rowdy boy

oc 5/11 sensory boy can greatly increase his speed/power at the cost of his own sight/hearing. Incredibly blunt, and not afraid to speak his mind. This has earned him many friends (and enemies), since his words can be taken the wrong way. He just hates liars and doesnt want to be one. also hates loud noises, so he makes himself deaf to block out noise. People don’t know hes doing this so they believe he’s ignoring them (hes not please come back). overall, a misunderstood boy (+ very truthful)

oc 6/11: barrier girl can create a barrier around herself. any person/object in the barrier gets blown out, so its more offensive then defensive. She’s a sweetie and would never swear or be mean to anyone. But thats on the outside. If you break her barrier down (pun intended), she becomes a petty brat whos ready to fight the world. Sensory boy dislikes her because he thinks shes fake but CN would gladly fight the world with her (theyre good friends). Overall a sweet-sour girl

oc 7/11: Angel boy has angel wings (wow shocker). he really tries to see the positive side of everything and makes sure everyone is okay. hes referred to as 'a literal angel’ and his classmates love him. its no surprise he was chosen to be class rep. however, he obsesses over his looks and constantly grooms his wings, which comes from his family’s obsession over looking presentable. Overall, the purest boy and someone please tell him its okay to look a little scruffy

——————————

Ahh! I haven’t received oc 8 to 11 :(

1–I like that this oc has a family. It’s an extremely refreshing thing to see, especially since he is a teacher

2–Prickly boy needs more love!! And it’s a shame what happened to his mom, but I can understand why he would be too timid and fearful with physical contact. That kind of situation can be traumatic to all persons involved. I think Prickly Boy is sweet boy.

3–I really like her hero name of Cloud Nine. Since her quirk is a cloud, does certain weather affect it? Does it have a personality of its own or is it a diluted version of Cloud Nine? In my mind, I picture this OC to have crazy hair, maybe puffy or frizzy due to the constant cloud surrounding her.

4–Is Flamethrower a believer in conspiracy theories as well? I can see him getting along great with Kaminari. I also liked that you described him as a firecracker. I greatly enjoyed the pun!

5–Sensory boy, is he able to heighten his senses to the point where he might be able to hear and/or see something from a mile away? Also, since he is able to switch around with his senses, is he fluent in sign language and braille? 

6–I love the use of the pun, and I like that you referenced how your other OCs interact with them! :D

7–Sweet angel boy! Sounds like he believes in that “cleanliness is next to godliness” motto. Does he cringe when other people aren’t as groomed or is it solely a self-image thing?

[sweetlifetownsville]

No Duty Of Care: The Townsville City Council Turns Its Back On A Group Of Ratepayers Who Face A Major Health Hazard.

And in so doing, the TCC has exposed the city to a possible million dollar class action. A large group of Cluden residents are under dust attack from an industrial site that has just been given permission for a unbelievable increase in polluting activity. Residents are mad as hell and not taking it anymore. And that has raised a looming possibility the Townsville City Council, along with the state government, may be liable through negligence for any illness particularly respiratory that occurs in the area. The matter now looks like its headed for the Supreme Court. And what a great little money-spinner for legal fee-gouger extraordinaire Barry Taylor of Emanate Legal, who is the solicitor for the industrial owner. And the council is in hot water at the other end of town, at Bluewater. There is evidence that the council actively nobbled any investigation into the illegal demolition of some long-established beach huts at Toolakea Beach. Now, government authorities have confirmed that the way the demolition was carried out WAS illegal, and possibly leaking of pollution into reef waters. Adele The Impaler is no more, apparently the TCC CEO has suddenly as in yesterday, Friday - taken indefinite sick leave, but The Astonisher suggests IF she returns, it will not be as CEO the paper that is All For You sure aint telling you all it knows. The Pie pontificates. And many members in the Townsville Backscratchers Club on parade in the Bulletins 50 Most Influential list, but youd think someone was drunk at the paper some of the write-ups are simply bizarre. And who is not listed is as interesting as who is. But first Gabbling Gobbler Pardons Gabbling Gobbler Every year on the fourth Thursday in November, Thanksgiving Day is celebrated, nowadays a secular holiday where families traditional get together and attack a roast turkey and each other as only families can. Another tradition well, it started with George W Bush in 1989 is that the President of the day pardons i.e. spares its life - of a turkey. This year it was a real turkey-to- turkey moment, with President Trumpet cheerfully forgiving the bird whatever sins it may committed perhaps it murdered a journalist, which also apparently merits a presidential pardon. But while Thanksgiving is a secular event enjoyed by all except the 50 million turkeys that hit the American tables every year Christmas is a different matter, with varying religions taking different views on the festive celebrations. But Bentley seems to think there is at least one Muslim willing to play Santa and turn a blind eye to not so good little boys.

Dusted But Not Done

This week, weve been getting headlines from down south about the inconvenience and disruption being caused by dust storms blowing in from the outback across metropolitan areas. These have triggered health warnings that the dust could cause respiratory health risks. The Bulletin has been running these stories but the paper that is All For You is blatantly ignoring the plight of more than 200 Townsville residents who face a far greater and possibly more dangerous permanent dust storm, at least 6 days a week, every week of the year. And the government, with the approval of the Townsville City Council, has just made it twenty yes, thats twenty times worse for the 200 residents and 60 or more rate paying homes in the pocket of Cluden particularly along Racecourse Road.

Another fine pic from The Astonishers Evan Morgan Background: Goodsells Earthmoving on Racecourse Road at Cluden is a concrete crushing and composting operation, making product mainly for landscapers. Their operation has been a bone of contention with local residents for some years, but now, the state government has granted the company approval to increase its annual operation from 20,000 to a massive 320,000 tonnes. This unbelievable increase is breathtaking in every sense, including literally. One effect will be that residents will now have a constant convoy of more than 60 dusty trucks rumbling past into the plant and then leaving by the same route. 180 a day, every day, and on Saturday mornings as well. Many children live in the area. And this is just a small sample of what residents are expected t tolerate.

The application was waved through by the Townsville City Council, despite loud and angry objections from scores of people who face not only their properties being ruinously devalued, their right to a reasonable outdoor lifestyle ruined, but also being subject to unknown health risks from constant heavy dust being sent across the area by Goodsells and the trucks. A petition of 179 signatures got nowhere. Now let The Magpie right here state he has no objection to an operation like Goodsells, who employ about 20 people six are family members, The Pie has been told and for all he knows, they are good corporate citizens. But upping the ante like this casts doubt on whether they are good community citizens. The government Co-ordinator General Barry Broe, who granted the application because Goodsells is sited on the government-administered Townsville State Development Area, has imposed some conditions but residents believe they are totally inadequate, and too little too late in the face of the mammoth increase in activity. Local councillor Les Messagebank Walker has been making soothing noises but has done absolutely nothing, claiming it is out of his, and the councils, hands. Which unless he is a spineless, time-serving money-grubber, is absolute bollocks. Les, there are at least 60 rate paying homes there all in the division whose best interests you are supposed to represent. They are owed a duty of care by you and the council, but now, it is the residents who will have foot the bill for a legal challenge that they shouldnt have to make. But make it they will, The Pie is told, with a retired barrister so outraged by the Co-ordinator Generals decision he says it is clearly a technical mistake under the legislation which must be plain to any informed person that he will take the case to the Supreme Court pro bono. (Thats legal stuff meaning for free.) But The Danger For The Council Is Nothing To Sniff At And all ratepayers should be worried, because this could easily become a very expensive scenario. As far as The Magpie has been able to ascertain, the council and the government for that matter have not done any comprehensive tests on possible health risks, from contaminants or worse, in the dust flying around. Dust that comes from rubble from God knows where. Apparently some tests were done on the Goodsells site, but much of the effluvium is high in the air as it passes across to the community. No one has done tests at the houses, where samples wont be hard to find.

So if someone, a youngster or an aged person particularly, develop respiratory problems of whatever severity, and the illness can be pinned on the dust, then the legal fraternity will be on the phone immediately ordering new spinnakers for the yacht pronto, such will be the legal windfall (no pun intended). And the council could easily be in the firing line. The secretive culture at work in Walker Street will have to pay the piper sooner or later. And Has Barry Taylor Found Another Cash Cow?

Big Bazza Taylor Our old mate has a habit greatly frowned upon from time to time by the courts of shopping around for clients which he entices with grossly underflated cost estimates, which blow out in alarming and imaginative fashion. (This is the likely scenario for Rabieh Krayem, convincing that poor bugger that it would be a good idea to sue The Magpie for something said in this blog financially, that good idea would seem to be unravelling at a rapid rate). And a recent matter in the Supreme Court sitting in Rockhampton had Bazza and his employee of questionable ability Vanesa Gleeson (yup, Typos missus) doing a legal backpedal that wouldve wowed Circus Oz when the judge signalled that Taylors fee charging details might put him in a mind to consider giving Taylor and Emanate Legal a right old public bollocking and sanction, our boy settled the matter lickety split, which would seem to involve him repaying a client more than half a million in gouged fees. So one wonders if Bazza or Gleeson in their collective wisdom, decided that Goodsells would be good for a few tens of thousands initially, but knowing the sky could be the limit. There is a hint of this in the fact that Goodsells have lodged an appeal against some piddling little conditions imposed by the Co-ordinator General, when common sense would have suggested financially certainly just let it ride. So did Enema Legal (motto: well go through your wallet like a dose of salts) suggest an appeal of little import but big bucks? By now, Bazza must be jagging on the Krug with the prospect of this going to the Supreme Court. Almost makes you feel sorry for Goodsells. But it is reported third hand that Bazza has maintained that sparkling, impish humour for which he is renowned. It is said when a local state politician expressed some support for the residents, Bazza is said to have exclaimed Tell them to lay off, theyre sending my client broke. Goodsells may well end up broke, but the residents will have very little to do with it, one suspects. But Theyre Everywhere The TCC and Emanate Are Also Busy At The Other End Of Town As in Bluewater. Emanate is involved on the northern beaches in an interesting way. The Navarro family owned the property next door to the harassed and bullied widow Sandra Richards when arsonists, believed to be t a local rogue fire officer and a local real estate agent, set fire to a fence and some grassland on Mrs Richards land. And daughter Connie Navarro is a solicitor with Emanate Legal, and has also worked in an advisory capacity with the council on zoning matters. That arson matter is yet to play out in full, but there were far more interesting developments a bit south, at Toolakea, concerning the illegal demolition of several beach huts two or three years ago (as reported in this blog). And the real estate arson suspects is heavily involved here too. Cameron Richards, Sandras son, is not a man easily sidetracked, and he and other like-minded folk have been doggedly pursuing the demolition matter. And this week, the hard work was partly vindicated. The Magpie received this from Cameron mid-week. We have come came across a matter that is quite pressing and being kept very secret, and that is how inspectors for the Qld Workplace, Health and Safety (from the Cairns office) came down and physically inspected the Toolakea site where the five beach houses were demolished; they found direct evidence of asbestos contamination and an illegal demolishing process. I have spoken directly myself to the main officer, Principal Inspector Asbestos Karim De Ridder and he has confirmed this.). A full, septic tank was also buried with being emptied, and in such a way that all the material, sewerage and decaying asbestos buried in the pits are more than likely leaching into the reef waters beyond the beach.

Behind all this is an elaborate and scandalous series of events. Local retired Vietnam War Vet Laurie Bowater (who was a friend of the people whose houses were demolished with no proper warning and all the personal effects also bull-dozed into the open pit nearby -and had his house adjacent to this on state land) personally witnessed this and having once been a demolition contractor himself knew straight away that what happened was illegal and with none of the required safety procedures etc required when demolishing any houses with asbestos these days. For three years armed with extensive photographic and other evidence, Laurie has fought with the Townsville Council to get action, but has met with suspicious resistance and apparent coverups. Initially an inquiry was going to take place involving council investigator Nick Byrne but he never followed up as had been promised. And then after getting more run-around, the environment office John Waetford got concerned and took up the issue

and was apparently in the process of issuing a show cause when someone interfered to stop any further follow-up. And then earlier this year (before he went to the office of Qld Workplace Health and Safety) Cr Paul Jacobs tried to take up the issue in council with an internal memo about this case but also got nowhere). In the middle of this Laurie was told that someone had produced a letter to say that the asbestos had been removed (which we now know to be false) along with a formal letter from the council solicitor dismissing his concerns and complaints about an illegal demolishing. We will be watching developments, and will publish photos and other relevant material as matters develop. Shes Gone For Good?

TCC CEO Adele Young TCC CEO Adele Young suddenly announced yesterday she was taking indefinite sick leave. The nature of the personal problem wasnt revealed and we quite rightly are not entitled to ask or speculate. At least not on any illness, that is not the preserve of this blog or anyone else.The paper did not elaborate on its mysterious statement that if Ms Young does return, it is unlikely to be as CEO. The Magpie made this comment earlier when asked if he knew anything more. The Magpie Submitted on2018/11/24 at 9:28 am| In reply toJenny Wren. Nope, no whispers here, but there have been hints and unproven reports of previous interstate medical visits. The Magpie wishes Ms Young well, this blogs jousting on the political battlefield never involves personal spite that involves sudden unfortunate personal circumstances. But in the unlikely event that this is a masked manoeuvre of some sort, this is a goldmine for conspiracy theorists. With the Astonisher reporting only a little of what it clearly knows, it is open for us to assume that the sick leave is a means to another end, and The Pies ponders whether she has headed south, possibly to Melbourne, to be involved, possibly pre-selected, in the coming Federal election. Her time in Townsville, in itself seen down south as an undesirable posting, as a foul-mouthed Labor head-kicker has certainly seen her denigrated locally . Her political ambitions are said to boundless, so some sort of involvement with a federal Labor campaign is almost certain, one would think. All this is, of course, negated, if she does have a serious on going condition. Even if she is number two in the Astonishers Back Scratchers Top 50, most of whom belong to the circle jerk of the usual suspects, she got there on the vote of an ANONYMOUS PANEL OF JUDGES, THEMSELVES SELECTED BY THE BULLETIN. If It Was a Movie, It Would Be Called The Usual Suspects Surely, if we are supposed to take this hokum seriously, we must be told who did the judging. But given the unexpected cynical tone in some entries, maybe Raggers was the writer, if not a judge? As an exercise in reading between the lines, the Astonishers annual 50 Most Influential list has always been a challenge, but this year, it verges on the bizarre. A summary might say there was a surprising amount of damning with faint praise. The first one to catch The Pies eye was this one.

The pic made it look like Gill himself was for lease, so it shouldve also said Vacant Possession. But the bizarre bit was the assertion of the community rallying against Qantas the authors planet of origin is not known, but it sure as hell wasnt this one. Oh, and as an aside while were in this territory, FYI Mr Gill:

Note the final sentence. But back to the ville Then there was this one apparently our sixth most influential.

Again, someone from another planet wrote this one, too, when the Hells Gates funding outcome was laid at this lasses carefully shod feet. That funding was down to two factors, neither of which involved Ms OCallaghan the Wentworth by-election result and Bob Katters greater leverage as a result. And whats that malarkey about an uncanny ability to compromise and manoeuvre around challenges with relative ease? Is avoiding challenges and with relative ease what we really want from a CEO in charge of attracting wealth and fighting for the best outcomes for this city? Silly writing but actually, probably inadvertently accurate. But the real doozy is this one Brisbane giveaway backdrop and all ..

15. Stephen Beckett Chief of staff to the mayor, Jenny Hill New After moving to Townsville as the city councils community engagement general manager, Stephen Beckett has moved into Mayor Jenny Hills office to act as her chief of staff. With extensive experience in public relations and with the Labor Party, Mr Becketts new appointment was likely made to ramp things up as the council heads into the second half of its term of government. Mr Beckett has previously served as the deputy chief of staff to former Queensland Premier Anna Bligh and was a senior policy adviser for Peter Beattie. His main public success story with Townsville City Council has been scooping up a pile of national public relations awards primarily for the innovative, and often hilarious, social media posts done by his media team. But behind the scenes his responsibility is to keep the council out of the public eye for the wrong reasons and his influence is a driver of council policy. Read that last line again The Screaming Midget (the moniker bestowed by his devoted staff) mustve done a wincing double take when he read that, it is the very last thing an underhanded backroom Labor spinner would want to see in print. Although this reportedly extremely unpleasant little Labor blow-in prick, who has also managed to impose his missus firmly on the local public tit (hospital board $44pa), has seen those sentiments regularly in The Magpie, you can bet he never expected to see his own publicity sheet state The Bulletin so blatantly describe what a Gollum he is. And a commenter didnt miss an opportunity to give Mr Beckett some helpful advice. Author : Inside TCC Comment: Call the influential 50 what it really is, the people who spend the most on advertising in the Bully. And angry Troll Beckett cant even get his job title correct, its head of office for the Mayor and while on Mr Midget if hes responsible for keeping the council out of the spotlight for the wrong reason then they need to buy him a gag! And of course, we must give a nod to the Astonisher with that one for the English does that mean he keeps them out of the public eye for wrong reasons, or -heaven forfend he must keep hidden council misdeeds. Good luck, chum. And good luck, Townsville. Well leaf through others for a laugh as the week goes by, keep an eye on comments here. And have your say about who you think shouldve been listed but wasnt (Linda Ashton stands out). The Pie has one other candidate who missed out and the old bird has always said so since the inception of this list more than 10 years ago if this is to be any semi-serious guide to influence, the editor of the paper itself is a must inclusion. God knows, taking almost sole responsibility for the stadium debacle and total guff about the paper getting the stage two water pipeline funding, Jenna, you cant have it both ways or are you part of the citys governing culture of secrecy. As Kamal used to say, why are people so cruel? Its a question that can be levelled at social media every day. As cub reporter Clare Cameron has found out.

But Dont Worry, Your Much Loved Elsewhere It Would Seem You know, in the army, some toady blokes were called Textra, because to know who they were, you had to write their names on the soles of their boots, they were so far up the sergeant. Ditto with bosses, Clare, so off to Officeworks, girl.

And the love-in gets more fevered check out this exchange.

Please girls, get a hotel room, and yes, we dont want to see the video. Especially not if you invite your besties George C and the PM to join you. Other Stuff Just In Case You Missed It Ever watched the show on the ABC, Antique Roadshow, where experts go into raptures about chamber pots, teddy bears and bone handled butter knives. Can be quiet interesting in parts, if you can get past the Arent I just the clever dick, let me patronise you attitude.Well, the ABC has piloted a special local version. And just in case you REALLY wanted to know

And an interesting pairing of news and ads in this weeks Astonisher.

And finally, the week from Trumpistan and elsewhere.

And just to save all you readers having to say it

.. Thats it for the week, but as mentioned above, keep an eye on comments, they are often very funny indeed, and let us know who you think should have been in the most influential list if we get enough, maybe The Magpie will do his own Top Ten. And The Pie will fully understand if his tardiness in publishing this weeks drivel has blunted your normally generous spirit, but just in case your largesse is still intact,the how to donate button is just below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/no-duty-of-care-the-townsville-city-council-turns-its-back-on-a-group-of-ratepayers-who-face-a-major-health-hazard/

[canarhys]

Valdangelo Headcanons

Making this because I love all of you who helped me get to about 100 followers!

Also I’m Valdangelo trash.

Lezzgo!

they got together after about - oh I dunno - TEN THOUSAND CENTURIES

jk just about seven years

they’re huge nerds

they play mythomagic together and go against each other in video games - especially in overwatch

and they talk about superheroes - 90% of the time about who would win: batman vs iron man

its so cute, and everyone teases them about it

don’t forget how they’re small and scrawny

you’ll just see lil’ leo sleepin in nico’s lap while nico looks like he’s cuddling a teddy bear and you’ll start squealing

but they’re also REALLY scary

like, oh ma gawd, you piss em off, it’s like awakening Satan from his eternal slumber

fucking hell will reign down and all you can do is run

nico can control the dead and literally becomes shadows and leo can summon fire and his intellect is smarter than most grown-ups - the tag team that can fucking murder you

gay and bi jokes

“bi, nico!” “nice to see you togay too, valdez”

they listen to emo music 24/7

like nico’s always hearing My Chemical Romance and Leo is in love with Fall Out Boy

but they are little when compared to the best - Panic! at the Disco

“MISS JACKSON MISS JACKSON MISS JACKSON”

“GUYS, MY MOM TOLD YOU TO CALL HER SALLY”

oh and they also watch some strange shit

not that kind of strange shit - get your mind outta the gutter - I’m talking about mystery/creepy/horror shit

examples: STRANGER THINGS, SHADOWHUNTERS, AMERICAN HORROR STORY, AND - FROM OUR LORD AND SAVIOR - SUPERNATURAL

like they are legit pining for destiel

also they are IN LOVE WITH VOLTRON

SHUT UP IM HAVING A MOMENT

most of the camp make jokes about how klance is the upgraded version of them and theyre like “wait? we’re a tv trope now???”

they love dancing and singing together

like at the campfire nico is strumming the guitar and singing ed sheeran songs while leo is dancing like a fucking god and it’s beautiful

death jokes

lots of unhealthy death jokes

“nico, you look like death.” “I AM DEATH”

“leo, if you go in there, you’ll die!” “eh, been there, done that”

they usually make art together - leo with machines and nico with painting/sketches

everyone’s so jelly of their skills because that is not humanly possible wtf

nico gets along with hephaestus well because theyre both lonely souls and kinda understand each other

leo at first yells at hades because “WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU NEVER HELPED YOUR SON YOU UNGRATEFUL-” 

and hades immediately likes him because leo really loves nico and wants to protect him and he’s a feisty little child

so he‘s chill with them

plus leo makes a lot of puns that nico hates and hades LOVES puns so…

persephone takes a lot of liking to leo

one time she kidnapped him for a kind of bonding time and nico got so jelly he went down to the underworld and kidnapped leo back

sadly leo refused to take off his flower crown

nico’s the dominant one in the relationship

no comment

they both protect hazel with their FUCKING LIVES; you mess with her you be dealing with two badass gremlins

but lets move to some angsty shit

they talk about everything together - what projects leo’s doing, what happened on a quest nico was given from his dad, so and so

they never keep a secret from each other

but from time to time bad memories come up and they talk to each other about it

dreams, Maria and Bianca, Esperanza, their times in Tartarus (WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF LEO SACRIFICED HIMSELF AND ENDED UP IN TARTARUS FUCK ME UP HOLY SHIT), and everything that has affected them during their horrible lives

they cry a lot but mostly just when they let it all out to each other

they hug and kiss and maybe have some comfort sex to help each other feel better

it’s really sweet

the two of them try their best to support one another

they whisper sweet nothings to each other at night, know when to give each other some space, after they fight they both try to apologize no matter who was at fault, but they mostly just talk about…everything

and after several years of being together, nico proposes to leo on the mast of the former Argo ||, the ship that brought them together

no pun intended

So, here are my Valdangelo headcanons.

Thank you! I love you all!