#they're trash but sometimes they're the only source that there is to reblog stuff

[donnerpartyofone]

I once found myself foolishly complaining to my old therapist about some deeply unsatisfying exchange I had on tumblr with somebody who had willfully misconstrued what I said and was going after me about what they decided I meant, just because that was what they would rather talk about. You know, the usual. My therapist threw me off my game by just asking my why I post here to begin with, instead of indulging my desire to passionately bitch and moan. She seemed very skeptical about whatever I said, I had the idea that she wanted me to admit that I was either looking for a fight, or attention, or validation from a bad source where I am destined to encounter a lot of friction. (Man o man, if only she knew about the absolutely bonkers and irrational "you are valid" culture we have here...) And I mean, she's right, you ARE destined to encounter a lot of friction on tumblr if you do anything remotely personal with it, but somehow that annoyance can be outweighed by

a) the internal satisfaction of putting your thoughts in order

b) the catharsis of venting, even into the void

c) the small but unignorable possibility that someone will deeply understand what you said, or have something relevant and provocative to add based on their own unique and valuable experience/expertise.

I think about turning off replies all the time now, quite a lot of the time there's someone being rude either on purpose or inadvertently, because they're too obtuse or thoughtless to consider the implications or real usefulness of what they are saying. Sometimes I think about turning off reblogs on everything too, and I'm trying to develop the habit of stopping before I post to ask myself, every single time, how I'm going to feel when some total cretin reblogs something that is obviously either not universally applicable (e.g. just personal in-the-moment venting) or actually not their business (discussion of personal tragedy that you'd think people would have the good sense to leave alone, like just let strangers who need to talk about something do so in peace?). All of these things have happened more and more lately, and I think what would be really great for me is if I developed a much tougher hide, if I developed a mental baleen that filters out all the shit I don't need to care about and lets in all the tasty, nutritious stuff that I'm actually here for, that I like so much that it makes all the chaff totally worth it.

My problem is that I don't have that natural thing that tells you what incoming stimulus is relevant and what you can completely ignore, I'm curious about EVERYTHING especially how other people think and behave. When I hear something insulting or idiotic directed at me I immediately start processing it like it's a mystery that it is my duty to unravel, instead of casually throwing it in the trash like I should. This morning I posted about how I was reminded of a personal tragedy by some stupid thing a business did to me, and I get this complete stranger unloading his own version of that tragedy, only to then condemn me morally for my interaction with the business. Like does he think I'm going to be so humbled by his "direct action" that it's going to change the world? What was the goal besides picking a fight before the sun is all the way up in the sky? Yesterday I posted links to a bunch of film scholarship I published along with some new blu ray releases, literally calling it my life's work, and somebody reblogged it and put in the tags that they don't like one of the movies and they don't know what the other two are. So...what was the point here? Are you planning on buying two expensive collector's editions of movies you don't know by a director you don't like? I mean thanks for promoting my work, I guess if the price of your sponsorship is that you say rude, pointless things that don't mean anything to anyone, then I'll take it? It might have a positive impact on my mental health if I turned off replies and reblogs universally, but then I wouldn't get to hear from any of the smart and nice guys I've met on here who have opened my eyes to all sorts of things. So yeah my Christmas wish or New Year's resolution or whatever is to give a shit much, much more selectively, for the rest of my life.

PS Regarding disagreements on the internet: There is an important qualitative difference between someone saying something you find disagreeable on their own blog, which you don't even have to be aware of if you don't want to, and someone going out of their away to like cross into your yard to start a fight about what's on your blog ~as if~ you had called them on the phone and said it directly to them personally. Most of what you see on the internet doesn't require your input at all, if you don't really have anything to add except your own emotional content. The difference: Learn it, know it, live it!

[ruanbaijie]

Hello Hanyi how are you? Hope that everything is okay and that your days are happy 🩷 You are a huge inspiration to me and I admire you so much. I wanted to ask for your advice or maybe for you to just read this, i need to tell this. How do you find inspiration for a new project (gifset)? Where do you usually find it and what things motivate you? I'm feeling really sad and unmotivated because my sets have less notes every time 😿 the last few reblogs on my sets are self reblogs. I know not everybody has to like what I do, and that I should do it for myself. But one of the main reasons I do gifs is to share, and for the other people to enjoy too. But my last three sets haven't reach 200 notes, the last ones not even 100. It's been weeks since someone reblogged from me, i'm just so sad, gifs is the way i found to express myself and I don't wanna lose that.

hello! I'm doing okay! questioning my life and what I'm doing with it, but what's new (ノ= ⩊ = )ノ

I don't know what to say besides thank you; I'm hardly the most encouraging or talented or patient person around here, and I'd never think I'd be a source of inspiration or admiration for anyone. it really made my day when I saw that!

a lot of (if not most of) the time, I get inspired by other creations I see here! I tag things that inspire me in different ways (layout, concept, typography, quote, etc.), and sometimes when I know I want (or need) to make something but have no idea what to do, I just go back to those tags and trawl around and pray something hits me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_ a lot of people here are unbelievably talented and I'd kill for even an ounce of that (tbvh it's kind of embarrassing the extent to which I learn from and get inspired by other people, really most of the stuff I make aren't original original)

please, please don't get discouraged! I definitely feel that tumblr in recent days has gotten a lot more... disheartening, in terms of response. when I first started making gifsets a couple of years back in the thick of the plague, it was so much easier to get a really good response and a high note count even though the quality of my stuff back then was absolute trash. these days, getting even over 100 seems like a miracle, let alone 200. it's all the tougher since I rarely do scene-only gifsets as shows air (it bores and stresses me out at the same time), and it's painful and disheartening that complicated edits tend to do worse than scene-only sets, even though they take a lot more time and effort to do.

and you're right! at this point, despite this, I'm doing it mostly for myself too, and I've learned to brush it off and not check back at the notes at all. these days, it kinda feels like I'm tossing my posts into the wide world and after I schedule my self-reblogs, they're just out there fending for themselves (ノ°∀°)ノ⌒･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*☆

I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me, because it did, and sometimes, it still does. but I try to focus more on the few people who appreciate and enjoy the things I make, no matter how few they are in number, and it really, really makes my day when they leave nice comments in the tags, no matter how few notes that set gets ( ´ ꒳ ` )

I don't regret learning how to make and edit gifs, because it has been an outlet for me to express myself as well and I've met a lot of new people through it. but as much as I'd love to encourage you to continue pushing yourself and learning new skills, it's good to also take a break for a little while if the responses gets too disheartening; I'm trying to slow down as well (I haven't been getting much response these days either anyway) and take the chance to spend some of my life outside tumblr and photoshop. maybe, it would help and be a little breather, instead of abandoning this hobby completely just because of the poor response you're getting, which I really hope you wouldn't do especially if it's something that you enjoy and find meaning in

I'm not sure if this will help in any way, but I hope it does give you some solace that what you're experiencing is not something that's happening to you alone; I've seen so many posts by content creators here (gifmakers and editors alike) about how response is getting more and more lacklustre despite all their effort, and the general lack of motivation >_< as disheartening as it is, it makes me all the more appreciative of the things that the people who remain do and the communities that we've fostered here.

if anything, please feel free to tag me in the things you make and I'll be happy to help reblog them (though it might take a while because I run on a queue and it usually takes ~10 days to show), and hopefully that might help give a little boost to your sets └(＾＾)┐ press on! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[twelves]

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