#they're like i cannot stress how much we Do Not Have To Prove Ourselves to her

[chucktaylorupset]

its been a million years.  percy has gone from young millenial to squarely gen z.  i think that while he’s up on that mountain demanding the gods pay their fucking child support, he should tell hera at the top of his sixteen year old pipsqueak lungs that polyamory is a thing now and she doesn’t have to define her marriage the traditional way if she doesn’t want to.  she’s the goddess of all marriages!  that includes these modern ones too!!

hera is like zeus would you agree to an open relationship zeus is like SOLD i have been trying to do this for years, completely neglects to read the fine print that this goes two ways before signing on the dotted line for this deal with the prada wearing devil because fundamentally, zeus is an asshole

hera starts hooking up with committed married couples and having SUPREMELY powerful demigod children.  they are all her favorites and she lavishes them with powers and gifts and attention.  she has, unlike the other gods, no millenia of experience with mortal children to temper her reaction, and so this whole move honestly causes more problems than not.

meanwhile hades and persephone; poeseidon and amphirite; dionysus and ariadne; all of them have been trying to talk to hera about this thing for DECADES and then perseus fucking protagonist powers jackson comes in and turns a quarter of a century into wasted work.

[manikrege]

I never thought I'd write about "love" again but here I am

You ever been with someone you can never "be with?" A friendship that you know has much more to offer but also too much to lose?

Crap, it's that cheesy romcom cliché from Christmas 2008. My Jai has fallen for an Aditi. And I'm mulling about whether we should have that "talk" when we Zoom tonight.

Maybe they'll explain that they don't see me that way and this would complicate things. Heck, maybe they'll point out how we're from different backgrounds, countries, jobs, and religions - and I'll have to clarify that it's these differences I love the most. It's starting to feel like a Toastmaster's debate.

If I have to be both realistic and happy, I'm hoping that they'll smile, appreciate me for sharing my feelings, and promise to help me get over it eventually. Such mature discussion. Much wow.

Scenarios. Scenarios. Scenarios. As I'm slinging through the multiverse created by my anxiety-ridden, 23-year-old brain, I have to say that there's something different about this person that's keeping me awake. There has to be.

Because I thought I left behind this topic in my emo teen phase. With poems that I took the effort to rhyme lmaoooo. But its almost after an entire decade that I'm finding myself chirping down this path again. Spring in my step and all. So the writer in me is definitely curious.

See first of all, there wasn't a love-at-first-sight moment. It wasn't full of butterflies and crazy adventures. In fact, I can't pinpoint a specific day when I understood that I wanted more. There weren't any explosive fireworks. The hunch grew more like five sips of chai. Normal, comforting, simple. Like how you move into a new house and then it eventually becomes your home for no good reason. And you get into a cozy routine.

I have spent so much time in their company doing jackshit. This one day we camped in our university's library. On our own laptops doing our own assignments. When the guards told us it was time to leave, we walked out talking about how well-spent the day was and we should definitely do it again.

It's not like we haven't had fun together. We've hung out, flown to new cities. We've eaten with forks at fancy brunches and also ravaged through banana leaf buffets like Savannah lions.

We've also had the craziest of talks. From junk gossips to deep philosophical musings at 3AM. They once looked down at the dimly lit highway and told me how every passing car must have people with complex lives and stories that we'll never hear. Trippy? Well, you should see our chats, you'd think we're in the stratosphere.

But floating in between all that noise are many blank pages that weigh just as much. Silences I never felt obligated to fill. Sometimes, we just lie around and chill.

Which tells me that this new kind of love I'm discovering ... this love isn't all shining and glamorous. After all that excitement fades away, there's a cozy blanket of silence that takes over. You don't have to go on extravagant holidays to relax. You don't have to buy each other costly gifts to feel special. You don't have to upload Stories of everything you do together. There's nothing to prove to the world, nothing to show off.

Instead, it's the simple gestures. They're both noticed and reciprocated. The person's company is more than enough. And you no longer have to do only wild things to feel like you had a good time.

If you can feel happy cutting a cupcake in the dark and call it a party, when its not even your birthday, that's when you realize they're the one.

Mind you, even if there's comfort, there's also discomfort. I like that we call each other out on our bullshit. They don't just pretend to agree with all my decisions or opinions because I'm their best friend. In fact, there are so many things we do openly disagree on and also furiously debate about.

We also hold each other accountable for our mistakes. I have a loud mouth and when I leak something in a public conversation that I shouldn't have, they will remind me that I can do better.

This could've been a toxic or abusive thing where we're constantly pushing each other's buttons. But its not the case because toxic relationships rely on fear. The fear of causing damage. But when we discuss our issues, we're not afraid of permanently ruining or breaking things.

We understand that we cannot realistically always like each other. Sometimes, I will hate her. And I'll say it. They'll say they hate me even more. Sometimes I'll be so pissed off at something silly they did. But I won't feel bad or guilty about it. We respect these negative emotions and agree that we can be imperfect and kinda off on some days. These fleeting currents and tiny problems don't threaten our bond. I speak for both of us when I say we have this unbreakable faith that we'll always be able to 'work it out together.'

When you call someone your 'loved one,' it means they're signing up for the whole package. Which occasionally includes confusion, misunderstandings, disappointment, and hurt.

If you can openly talk about all your feelings and problems without having to worry about losing them, that's when you realize they're the one.

But all that said, I think the most special thing about this special person is how they make me want to be better without ever having to push me ahead.

What I mean is that they're a forever fan. At gatherings, they'll take me around like I'm Barack Obama and introduce me to all their friends, raving about the 'cool projects' I'm working on this year. They're my biggest cheerleader, hyper-supporter, and meme-liker to the point of cringe. When I'm down and sobbing about how I suck, they'll tell me to shut up and refuse to believe that I'm anything less than the best.

I feel immensely relaxed knowing that I'll always be good enough for them, even when I'm not good enough for myself. See, it's not a conditional contract. There's this underlying assurance that they'll be cheering me for me even when I'm behind, even when I finish last. I don't have to constantly worry about proving myself to them or living up to their 'expectations.'

A relationship of any kind and degree shouldn't feel constantly challenging, uncomfortable, and stressful. That kind of bullshit is often sold under the guise of tough love or training. But you shouldn't feel like you're dragging yourself to please or impress the person.

Because love is safety. It's like a soft sandpit in which we can become kids again and build whatever the fuck we want to. And when we have no power left, it's a force that burns through every fiber of our soul and gives us that last bit of fire to hold on. "Hold on," it says, "We're almost there."

This safe zone my special person has created without even realizing it ... it just makes me want to push myself every day. Their fierce belief in me makes me want to fight, even when I don't want to do it for myself. In fact, it was this person who once told me that we can't always love ourselves and that's why we need friends who can remind us of how worthy we are.

If they make you feel empowered to chase your dreams fearlessly, you know they're the one.

Now that I've said these things out loud, I guess I know that they're really the one.

But I don't feel prepared to tell them yet so I'm going to wait for some more time. I'm not rushing into things. It's perfectly acceptable. And anyway, I'm not worried about being too late. I won't regret telling them right away.

You know how I'm so sure?

Because love is, above all, friendship. And I have it right here, right now.

[stargazer-sims]

For many of us, it's not even a question of whether or not we "mind being disabled". Not only do I not mind being a blind person, I'm proud of who I am and I wouldn't change myself now even if I was magically presented with the opportunity to do so. My disability is so much a part of my identity that I honestly don't know how I would cope in life if I weren't disabled. I'm not happy "despite" my disability; I'm happy with my disability, and I honestly don't think I'd be happier if I wasn't disabled.

To be fair, this is a complex psychology that we shouldn't expect abled people to understand fully. But whether they can understand it or not, we should at least expect equity and respect.

Also, although I know many disabled people who feel the way I do, I understand there are many who don't. I've been disabled my entire life, but I can imagine someone who becomes disabled rather than being born disabled might have a different viewpoint, which is equally valid.

For the people who wish they weren't disabled, games like The Sims can be a form of escapism where they can create things they can't realistically have in the real world. I'm sure this can be of great benefit to many people; however, for those of us who want to see ourselves reflected in the media we consume yet never do see ourselves, it's beyond discouraging. I cannot stress enough how important representation is. It is just as important to me to see healthy and fair representation of a disabled person as it is for a person of colour to see representation of themselves, and for members of the LGBTQIA+ community to see representation of themselves. Like members of other equity-seeking groups, the disability community is living with physical and psychological characteristics we cannot change or control. I can no more alter the fact that I'm blind than another person could alter the fact that they're Black or bisexual.

As for the reason disability representation isn't included in The Sims, I think it's exactly the same reason why unprejudiced, accurate and fair disability representation is not included in most mainstream media. Disability isn't glamorous. It's hard to spin it into something trendy or cool. It's messy and awkward and not nice to look at, and it reminds us that humans are... human. We're imperfect and not ideal as it is, and when you add the limitations of disability to that, it's not particularly attractive or marketable. Companies like EA want to make money, and if they're going to turn off a whole chunk of their userbase by bringing something like disability representation into the mix, then that ultimately affects the all-important bottom line.

The reason EA has stated (or at least the reason they've implied) is that introducing disability into the game would require extensive animations and a lot of reworking. This seems to have been the same reason why teens are the same size as all the adult life stages, and why we don't have vehicles in Sims 4 like we had in Sims 2. While this is technically true, modders have proved it is, in fact, possible to add animations for mobile objects like skateboards and to create extensive health-related mods, so it shouldn't be too onerous a task for EA to add wheelchairs or a health system, for example.

Anyway... I'm not even surprised at this point that we still don't have more than superficial disability representation from EA in The Sims. In a society that can barely bring itself to include us in important real life things like urban planning, accessible and affordable housing, accommodation in education and employment and even accessibility in health care, how can we reasonably expect something like the mainstream media system in general and video games industry in particular to include us? Inclusion for disabled people isn't adequately modelled in everyday life, and until that happens, we're not going to see disability equality anywhere else in the mainstream.

I would love it if somebody from EA saw this, not that I actually expect it to make a difference, but just to provoke some thoughts. Change has to start somewhere, and if EA really cares about being a leader and being a step ahead of the rest, this is one of the things they should keep in mind. I'm a realist, though.

📩 Simblr question of the day: Does Sims 4 need more disability representation? Why or why not?

answer in whatever way is most comfortable for you and feel free to share this SQOTD around, make sure to use the hashtag SQOTD and tag me in separate posts ~ 💛

This question was contributed by an anon ~ Thank you for submitting multiple questions ~ (this is question 8 of 12 from this specific anon)