#they'll save the whole world and not know what a single regular person is up to

[daysinstarlight]

The Order is one of the funniest "secret society of witches" shows because they will openly be doing magic, wolfing out and talking about their secret groups in the very middle of campus. They don't care at all about discussing their faction or ongoing fights right in the centre of the bar.

I know they have the cover-up spell and the mind wipe dust but they aren't doing it every time they walk down the quad of their non-magical school.

[crows-home]

Kotetsu's a bad dad, but also a good dad. He loves his daughter so much. But he's neglectful. He always thinks about Kaede, but he doesn't really know her. Here are some things I've been thinking about that, because holy shit.

Fuck I have so many thoughts about Kotetsu. He's a good person, he's a good hero, he tries his best always. Even if he's embarrassing or is a liability, he's always willing to go. Willing to put himself or his pride at risk for the sake of what's right.

But he's not a good father. Always gone, so focused on his work, that he never sees his daughter. And sure, he loves her a lot. She's his whole world and the reason he pushes himself. But that doesn't negate the fact that Kaede never had a father that was present as she grew up. And all his attempts at connection- his words, his gifts- they all feel so... surface level? "Ill give her a hair pin :) a teddy bear :) my little itty bitty baby girl"

No, buddy. Your daughter grew up. She's not four anymore. You need to communicate with her, learn her interests, and support her. Not just give her presents and empty promises. Not just talk down to her. And I know it's not all his fault. Single father, widow, the fate of so many people on his shoulder on the regular. He's not perfect, has no idea what he's doing, and just desperately wants his daughter to like him. To be proud of him.

But he was the younger sibling, probably didnt have much experience with kids younger than himself. I've seen it before. He's a parent that just wants to be Good Enough. Doesn't want to make the wrong move, and in doing so, is too loose with his parenting. Not confident.

But god, he's his daughter's biggest cheerleader, even on the side.

All Kaede had was her grandmother, who she could lose at any minute, and a dad that would always choose his work over her. She didn't know her dad was a hero, so that's all she saw. It's so much anxiety for a kid, and it makes me sad to think about.

WHICH IS WHY I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN THEY TOUCHED ON IT IN SEASON 2!!! like, Kaede actually calls him out on it!!

"Just neglect me like always. It's all you're good for!"

Fuck, hearing her say that made me flinch. It's true, and he knows it. But by season 2, it feels like Kotetsu's more... mature? I think part of it is Kaede knowing that he's a hero now, so she's not always hurt when he says he has to leave her for a "work emergency." And part of it is knowing that she's growing, she's not a baby, she can handle herself.

It's a hard transition, realizing this kid who used to depend on you to feed them, keep them clean, keep them safe, doesnt need that anymore. Suddenly they're doing things on their own, they dont need constant supervision, and you have to let go and realize that they can keep themself safe. But it's a weight off his shoulders, I think. That realization.

My daughter will be okay. I'm here for her now, if she needs me, but i cant protect her from every little thing, and maybe i dont need to.

its just. he's not perfect. i dont think he was a very good father at all, in the beginning. and Kaede is absolutely allowed to resent him for that. She needed him there, and he wasn't. She's allowed to feel abandoned and alone, even if she knows her father was off saving the world or whatever. it obviously still bugs her, and i'm so glad that was included. Instead of just keeping her as the two dimensional "yay my dad is so cool now that i know he's Wild Tiger! Everything is fine with me now :3"

But they'll both just have to live with it and grow with each other. Kotetsu is becoming a better parent, as best as he can, along with all the other worries he has. Kaede deserved a better father growing up, deserves it still, but is becoming a confident young woman, still navigating through it all.

i dont know how to end this. it just really hit me to see a family dynamic like this. i love it so much, would love to explore this more one day.