#they'd eventually bond again and accidentally encourage each other to get better somehow

[arsenicpanda]

You know, I really wish Riverdale had given us 5x16-esque bughead for all of s5, just drunk, deeply-in-debt Jughead and allergic-to-emotions, chainsaw-tastic Betty careening around wildly while attempting to investigate things. 

Betty comes back from almost murdering a man for the third time that week and Jughead just took four shots of shitty tequila after doing a line of the world’s cheapest coke while making a newer, more unhinged murderboard and they argue about how effective tying a man to a tree is as an interrogation tactic and how legit mothmen are as a lead for two hours and thirty-seven minutes before breaking and entering into two buildings plus Thornhill and arresting three innocent people with Betty’s invalid FBI badge. After getting zero (0) leads from their deeply unethical interrogations of people who know nothing, they hate-fuck on a desk for the sixth and half time that week and share one (1) emotion out loud each before switching gears as if nothing happened and, while downing a double of whiskey each, moving on to picking out the best outfits for them to wear when they pose as sex workers on the Lonely Highway together. When the debt-collectors come to break Jughead’s legs, Betty breaks one of their wrists and then threatens them at gunpoint. Jughead keeps coming to school at 10:47am and showing his classes old vhs copies of Tarantino movies instead of teaching them about Of Mice and Men.  Betty gets another FBI windbreaker so they can both pose as FBI.  Jughead gets consumption.  At some point they both punch Glen in the face and steal his FBI badge.