#they’re all gonna be visible and im going to kms

[kangel-kinnie]

me looking at my wrists and my thighs and my ankle.

[cookinguptales]

yo it’s the middle of the night and I’m all wrung out, which means it’s a perfect time for a tumblr post about disability!

I’m here today to talk about euphemistic language. I’m sure any person with a disability knows the way able-bodied people like to talk around our disabilities. Really acknowledging a disability (i.e A LACK OF ABILITY) makes a lot of AB people really uncomfortable. I think a lot of that is the side effect of some well-meaning ideas… Children are often taught that everyone is the same down deep, and to think anything different is discriminatory. And sure, don’t be a dick about peoples’ differences. But refusing to even acknowledge them really only hurts the people who aren’t at the top of the power/visibility hierarchy. People are trained to interpret “we’re all the same” as “we are all like (or all should be like) those in power”. By downplaying differences, the actual effect is steamrolling cultural differences and disavowing individualized needs.

Let me break this down. Here are some stock phrases pertaining to disability that I’m sure a lot of you have heard. “Disabled people are just like you.” “They’re not disabled, they’re differently abled.” “Disabled people can do anything you can do. They can do anything they put their minds to.” Etc. Etc. You get the picture. You’ve seen the Very Special Episodes.

Now, that’s all patently false. Disabled people are not just like able-bodied people. They are disabled. They have different abilities and different needs. They do not automatically have “different” abilities. When a person loses the ability to walk, they don’t automatically gain the ability to teleport or something. It’s not a trade-in scenario. They cannot all do anything you can do. Sometimes, with effort, pain, and accommodations, they can achieve the same end result that you do. Sometimes they can even do better. But they can’t do them the way you can and often can’t do them at all. A person with a mobility disability can’t walk like you do. A person with a vision disability can’t see like you do. A person with a hearing disability can’t hear like you do. Etc. They can sometimes make up for that — but they cannot, by definition, do the things able-bodied people can do. Which is not some unspeakable evil; just one of life’s facts.

So what’s the big deal, you may be thinking. What’s wrong with euphemistic language? You’re just being nice. No. You really aren’t. You are disavowing their disability. That’s not something that PWD have the luxury to do. You can walk into a shop and think “wow, PWD can do anything I can do!” while someone with a mobility disability is still stuck at the entrance below a flight of stairs. You can think “PWD can do anything they put their minds to!” as you get a basic entry-level job that has requirements that PWD cannot, or are not allowed to, fulfill. (See: Cashier work, customer service, etc.) When you say that PWD can do anything an AB person can do, you are ignoring their disabilities, their struggles, and the accommodations they need to succeed.

Okay, you say. Social model of disability. We’ll just make the world accessible, all barriers will be removed, PWD will be just like me! No. We will never be like you. We have been running a mile to reach the starting line you’re waiting (im)patiently at. We have been going on experimental medications, doing physical/mental/speech/etc. therapies, training our bodies to use assistive devices. We’ve been running ourselves into the ground. And sometimes we’ll still never reach that starting line. Sometimes we’ll be too sick or too tired and there’s nothing accommodations can do to change that. When your own body is trying to kill you, there’s only so much a wheelchair can do. And if we never reach that starting line, we never reach the finish line that’s been set out for us as “normal”.

Because when we’re told things from birth, things like “you can do anything the other kids can do!” or “the only thing stopping you is your attitude!”, we internalize that. The secondary message to all those euphemisms is “you can be like anyone else — so why the hell aren’t you?” It isn’t a message of hope to PWD. It’s an impossible standard. “Why can’t I just get through college?” we think, ignoring the way that we stagger from hospital visit to hospital visit. “Everyone else does. I can be like everyone else. I can do anything they can do! So it must be that I’m not trying hard enough. I’m not working hard enough. I don’t hurt enough. I need to do more.”

PWD aren’t like AB people because they have to work two, three, a hundred times harder to reach the same point that AB people do. They have more financial challenges. More mental health challenges. They have to deal with pain, exhaustion, lack of accommodations, ableism, political institutions that want them dead. When you say “PWD can do anything!” you’re ignoring all the reasons they can’t. You’re telling them they have no reason not to achieve the same things as everyone else. You feed into the cultural idea that disability is just an excuse, just a hurdle that needs to be cleared in order for them to take place in “normal” society. It makes “overcoming” their disability a moral imperative. Because “we’re all the same” means they’re just like you. Or they should be. Because being AB is the cultural norm we default to.

Here’s what PWD actually need to hear:

“You’re not just like me. You face challenges I’ll never be able to comprehend. Holding you to the same standard as me as cruel. You may not be able to do everything (hell, who can?) but what you can do is good enough. You don’t need to earn your place in this world. Just living in it is enough. You’re not a drain if you need extra resources. You’re not a drain if you can’t create, produce, labor at the same rate as AB people. There are things you can’t do, and that’s okay. You don’t have to pretend to be AB. You don’t have to work yourself to the bone so you can be like the rest of us. You don’t have to kill yourself when you’re not. And I will fight with you so all of the roadblocks you have to face are as small as we can get them, so even if you can’t do everything, you can do more. I will fight for you when you’re too sick to do it yourself, because you are worth fighting for even when you cannot achieve.”

Because newsflash, assholes. None of us can do anything. None of us can do everything. No one’s gonna look at an AB person and say “Usain Bolt can run 45 km/h. You can do anything. You should aspire to run 45 km/h.” Because that’s stupid! Just because some people can do something, that doesn’t mean everyone can, and no amount of euphemistic language can change that! The only difference in this scenario is where we draw the lines between amazing, normal, and unacceptable. For some PWD, getting out of bed is amazing. It’s Usain Bolt levels of achievement. Don’t downgrade that to normal just because it’s normal for the majority in power. We’re not all the same. Encouraging people with disabilities to hit the same benchmarks as AB people (or exceptional PWD) is sometimes like encouraging (and expecting) some random dude to line up with Usain Bolt. And then you get surprised when we destroy ourselves trying to do it.

Here’s the bottom line. This idea that PWD are just like you? It hurts us. It makes us feel like we’re failing if we aren’t. It makes us feel like we aren’t enough if we aren’t. When we can’t do what you can, no matter how hard we try. No matter how much we hurt ourselves. When you say “all humans are the same, really”, you’re actually setting normality where you are. And for some of us, that’s a bar we’ll never reach. Some of us, frankly speaking, probably shouldn’t try. (Yes, it is okay not to even try to attain AB levels of achievement. Don’t hurt yourself for a fool’s errand. You can try if you want to (and I’m rooting for you to succeed) but don’t feel that you’re lacking if you don’t.) Ableism is saying that disabled people are only worthwhile if they can eventually do the same things able-bodied people can. Truly being an advocate for the disabled means being an advocate for them even when they’re fucking disabled. Don’t talk around our disabilities; that just means you’re not helping us live with them. Don’t treat a lack of ability like something too shameful to talk about, because all that does is -- you guessed it -- inspire shame.

For many people who are disabled, the best thing they can learn isn’t “you can do anything”. It’s “learn your individualized limits and respect them; it’s okay to have them”. Listen to your body, not to society’s ideas of what you should or should not be able to do. Push yourself, but not to the point of breaking. When someone gets nervous and tries not to talk about your disability, talk about it as loudly as you want. Demand accommodations. Talk freely about your life as it is, not as the inspiration porn people expect. Make them see you as you are. Because we’re not all the same. And that’s okay.

It hurts to admit that you can’t do something everyone says you can do. But there’s a special strength in self-knowledge. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself for the abilities you do not have. You do not need them to be whole.

[survivorelara]

Episode #8: “These horny ass giraffes” - Drew H.

Well, I'm a big flopping mess, I fell asleep and failed to vote. ADDITIONALLY, Dani was the one sent home, which nobody even told me was gonna be a thing. Like Loris mildly mentioned it to me, but I didn't take that to mean that 3/4 of the merge was gonna vote Dani out.

I realize that John and Dani didn't even vote Ci'ere which was supposedly the plan, so it's good to know that John is someone I can really rely on... NOT.

I'm more frustrated with myself though because I should be capable of more than I was. I'm feeling on the outs though, because I don't even know where the Roxy votes came from.

This game is a fucking mess for me.

https://youtu.be/0k5pTCBa_1M

"heuse1acToday at 10:42 PM No idea! The fact that john was put in the mix is really interesting though bc he easily could've just jumped the alliance i accidentally screenshotted a million years ago So that makes me think loris might be a part of that conversation bc he's the only one who would like have that mindset of including john bc he saw the flip firsthand And we all definitely used that joint tribal and the lie as a talking point so it'd be easy enough to say we still have emotions about it, even without proof That's just my read on it tho, i have no proof. But if it was him, that would explain why you were targeted of the 4 of us bc he really does seem to have something against you asdfghjkl"

why does this sound so fishy to me like he is hard core tunneling Loris. Makes me super sus nnn

"DrachusToday at 12:05 AM god If we go f2 somehow We'll be the most hated f2 I can't wait "

ok i love you drachus but fuck he totally plans to drag me as a gaot doesnt he lol

Okay, operation get Roxy to blame Loris for the target last night is in full effect. Do I think he's the one who actually put Roxy's name out there by spreading stories that she was targeting Ci'ere? Eh maybe, leaning probably not. But Roxy has it in her mind that Loris has a vendetta against her, and there is JUST BARELY enough loose strings to thread together into a convincing enough forgery. Loris being targeted eventually is needed because of how close he is with Andrea and how much I'm sure he will never give up resenting the fact that he prob would've been next on swapped Auva. And end of the day, if we fail, Roxy is the one who leaves and that opens a lot of doors for me that a "leaked alliance" is holding firmly closed.

I took a goodnight's rest before really pursuing making this confessional. Not getting rid of Sam earlier in this game was the biggest mistake of every player in this merge. I love Samuel to death, probably my favorite straight male ever (sorry Jack and Seamus), but the boy really woke up during the last 24 hours of this game.

Not only he successfully convinced everyone to vote his way, he temporarily bridged the feud between Ci'ere and Dani for a brief moment to get the numbers and all of the votes turned for Dani. He claims that he didn't know that Ci'ere will call myself, Drew H., Roxy and John out- but after that joint tribal- anyone who had any part with the old Zosma tribe is treacherous.

Where does this confessional lead? Well I tell you, Sam perfected the under-the-radar strategy during the premerge portion of this game AND got everyone to vote his way just so that he can get revenge for her bitchy attitude. I literally have to give any and all credit to that boy for that last round because that was pure genius because it got my Auvas and John to be EXTREMELY more pissed off at Ciere while he is controlling that emotional mess by the strings. Amazing. But it is time to plot his demise.

Everyone in this game is damned fake and transparent it makes me sick. I'm tired of people trying to pass off not being aligned with others when it's painfully obvious.

Drew H. tried to pass off him and Roxy being a 1 time thing... despite voting together the entire game so far.

Loris was briefly entertaining the idea of voting Ci'ere though he was obvious about reservations... 1 tribal later, Ci'ere is using an idol. (Though he didn't get any votes so it's whatever.) Now Loris is saying we need Ci'ere to stay. Which is whatever I guess, but to me it's like ok you two are clearly a F2 or something, there is more to this than I'm being told.

John, didn't even vote Ci'ere when it was his idea, but he hasn't told me anything about the past tribal which is beyond infuriating.

I feel like I'm floating, in the middle of the ocean without a raft, and I can swim and float for a little while, but it feels like the sharks are coming from somewhere no matter how I disguise myself in the water.

Noah fence but I wanted to get kori out since they’re so good at comps but now we might never get the chance :shrugs:

I don’t think anyone hates me so I think I should be good this vote ?? Watch me catch this blindside

i'm actually so mad right now, I knew one of those two had the idol... and ci'ere said he found it on his very first guess with 39. BITCH 39 WAS LITERALLY MY 2ND GUESS, HOW DOES HE GET THAT LUCKY IM SO SAD I WANTED THAT IDOL :(

Aye, Won a challenge, let's gooooo! Lol, thankfully there was a score reasonably close to mine, so I didn't look like I utterly destroyed the challenge.

I also got that idol clue, which I mean eliminated a ton of possibilities. Though it'll be hard to sus out which Non-American astronaut it is. (I'm hoping a future idol clue is that the astronaut isn't Russian so as to eliminate a ton more options.)

I think I'm gonna try for a Dylan boot, because the guy and I almost never talk, he won the last challenge so he's clearly capable in some regards, and he's on OG Auva, and if original tribe lines come up, that'd put us at 5v3v2, though I'm not banking on those lines given the way Loris, and John both act.

Ok so before the last tribal, I thought people would be wanting to vote for Ci'ere. Then later Ci'ere starts going off in the tribe chat saying to vote for Roxy because she has an alliance with the Drews and myself. And in his tribal question he basically calls me out saying tribal lines have already been crossed because of the fact that I voted against Revati the round before. BOI you weren't even there so stfu?? Yes there is an alliance but there has legit been no game talk in it, Roxy just made it to ensure I would vote with them, which I was going to in order to get Zach out anyway. I went to a few people to reiterate that fact. I wanted Ci'ere to leave before but now it'd be in his best interest to not speak to me.

Kori won immunity and I fell asleep early because I was tired afff. I wake up, seeing that Kori has apparently gone to all of Revati targeting Dylan. He knows that I really want to target Ci'ere, especially now that he doesn't have immunity, and that I want to work with Dylan. The problem I have with my Revati tribe is that I don't feel too much trust with them as of now. Emma doesn't talk to me, Loris doesn't as much anymore, Kori can be very controlling, and I don't know fully where I stand with Andrea. I will most likely not be voting Dylan out tonight, and if Kori really wants to go to final 2 with me he should respect that. Ci'ere would be my ideal vote tonight but if nobody is going to vote him out, I may end up voting for Emma because if anything I know I've got Drew H. Either way, I think at this point my messiness meter is through the roof so hopefully nothing comes back to bite me in the ass woooo

Andrea telling me that she’s not voting for Emma and that she also doesn’t know who to vote for. I love people indirectly telling me that they’re voting me out

I’m confessing so much but that’s only because I feel like I’m going home today and I need to make a lasting impression so I can win fan favorite 💅���💅🏻

Anyway I think I have the votes to stay but if an idol gets played then I’m going home for sure

The original revati idol was never played so I don’t trust this vote at all tbh

Hopefully this isn’t my last confession but if it is then goodbye xoxo

Emma has the idol and loris has the advantage. I am LIVIN I decided to just be honest to everyone and ya we shall see how it goes I still don’t think I can win and Emma told lORIS about to he alliance which is concerning but um idk ok we shall see

Well, it seems likely that John and I will be separating in the near future, he just isn't open to me like he was at the beginning of the game, and I just don't know if I can work with him.

None of my thoughts or ideas seem to gel with him, and it just doesn't seem to be working out.

If people are telling the truth than it should be Dylan going, from there ideally we vote out Drew H, who is a reasonable threat and it ideally throws that whole alliance into chaos.

From there I think I'd want Ci'ere gone, and after that maybe Loris? But we'll see how things go, immunity wins and other events are likely to shakeup the game, to which I'll have to be flexible, so I don't wanna start overplanning just for everything to be thrown out of wack.

yeah so this vote is clearly a Dylan or emma going home scenario. personally im voting Dylan mainly because we have no relationship at all game wise, and emma seems dead loyal to loris and me kinda, which is way more valuable to me than a guy the auva's wanna try and use as a "number." plus, people seem to think emma is kori's free number, which may be true but he was the one pushing for the Dylan vote, which will only turn him into a more visible character which I need in my life right now. yeah after last vote I definitely need to sit back and let other people drive, but I'm all for someone I know im not gonna work with going home this round. I know the drew's wanted emma gone, but I told them straight up I was probably voting Dylan since we have no relationship, but that next vote a green has to go and they seem all for it. so hopefully this is setting me up for a nice ride the next few votes? let's hope oh god inb4 I die next round before single digits ima kms

ALSO SUCK IT DANI MAN YOU THOOOOOOOUGHT I WAS LEAVING THIS ROUND HA BIHHHHH YOU CLUELESS SEE YOU AT FTC!!

man oh man ciere, you really trying it huh. over here threatening my man drew T that he'll be next to go if he doesn't vote emma? that also means ill be in the crosshairs too? nah bruh, we aint having any of it. Dylan is leaving this vote then guess what, you're gonna be blindsided, and oh my god I cant wait to see that happen. should've stuck with me, smh

ciere is REEEEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLLYYYYY trying to take control of this vote and get emma out, bruh if that aint obvious idk what is, esp when he hasn't included me in it. why is he here and not toby.... :(

https://youtu.be/H3vuhKG9APE

ok so I swear I wrote this already but woooo Emma has idol I have legacy Andrea is a queen iconic trio I also have a deal to go to the end with Sam ??? Oops. At this point I just feel valued but it’s probably because they realise I’m useless and will not be able to write a speech at FTC and also I’ll just get fucked over because it’s live.... oh well. 5 more tribals to go!! well four but I’m writing this in the future

All my ladies pop your kitty like this, Shake ya body don’t stop don’t miss all mah ladies pop ya kitty like this justto it do it do it do it now do it good luck that kitty just like you should

Dylan is voted out 8-3.