#they were doing their normal ‘talk about people from high school or swimming that you barely remember for 30 minutes’ classic move

[thesunshookwithjoy]

Grief! It’s bad!

[ceesimz]

We're All We Need Today

Hey, long time no story! I'm back with this, something I had the idea for a long time ago but it was low on my list of favourites. Then I re-jigged it and re-worked it and now it's done! Everybody's favourite trope, or mine at least, angst to fluff!

It should have been just a normal Tuesday. A normal evening on a random day mid-week in May. Training for you both that ended just after lunchtime, before meeting up at Alexia's apartment early evening after the pair of you attended meetings or completed other pieces of work. That all went smoothly, it was perfectly fine.

Alexia shouldn't have looked at your phone without your permission though. She shouldn't have looked at your messages in the first place, nevermind doing it behind your back.

"I cannot believe you told your friends and did not tell me first!" Alexia shouted at you as soon as you walked out of the bathroom, your phone opened onto your friend groupchat in her hand.

"What? Alexia, what are you doing? Are you looking through my phone?" You cried out, marching over to snatch it back, but she holds it in the air out of your reach like a high school bully. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"You told your friends without conferring with me first. You went behind my back and you know I didn't want anyone knowing!"

"You've gone behind my back too, looking through my phone! Why did you do that?" You jumped and grabbed your phone, confirming exactly what you thought.

She had gone through your phone whilst you were out the room, had clicked onto a chat with your closest friends who you trusted more than almost everyone in your life, and she had read just one message that said 'What does your weekend look like in sunny Barcelona? Any plans with A?'

"No, no. You aren't flipping this around. You swore to me-" She jabbed her finger harshly against your chest as she spoke. "-that you would not tell anyone until I said you could."

Is she for real right now? Who are you even talking to?

This is not the woman you fell in love with almost seven months ago. This is not the woman who used her captaincy as an excuse to get your number. This is not the woman who asked to be your girlfriend in such a shy and awkward manner as she stumbled over her words whilst eating dinner with you on her sofa. This definitely isn't the woman who cares for you how no one else has, nor is this the woman who loves you infinitely and shows it in ways you never could have thought possible.

This is a selfish, egotistical, self-centred, and downright cold-hearted person you do not recognise. The version of Alexia in front of you here is one you thought you'd never, ever encounter. Yet, look at the situation now.

"So, what, I have to run everything by you? I can't tell my closest friends possibly the biggest detail in my life? I can't tell them I'm in love and happier than ever?"

"No. Not now. We promised we wouldn't tell anyone, and you have betrayed me." Alexia huffed angrily, her hands on her hips as she turned away from you.

"I wanted to share this part of my li- you, with them! And, Ale, you've told Alba and Eli, why can't I tell my friends?" You moved to stand in front of her so you're facing her again, and she fixed you a disapproving glare with a jut to her jaw.

"Friends are different to family - I've never met these people! What are their intentions? I don't know, and I don't want them knowing private facts about me. That is why I'm mad." Alexia gritted her teeth as she spoke, fury swimming through her veins as her hands gripped her own hips so tightly you were sure there'd be bruises the next time she looked.

"What are you even saying? Do you hear yourself right now?" You scoffed, your anger almost tripling when the woman in front of you chuckled.

"Trust me, I hear myself. I also hear you denying everything, denying the fact you've outed our relationship, denying the fact you've broke my trust. Betrayed the one thing I asked you to promise not to do. Maybe you're the one who needs their ears checking, remember when I said 'let's wait some time to tell people.' Maybe you misheard me and thought I said 'how about we tell every fucking person in the city?' So yes, I hear myself. Very clearly, you don't have to worry about that."

You stared, glared, at her for a few moments, gobsmacked at the turn of events whilst also trying not to burst into tears. This is a situation you never thought would occur between you both, and the vile way she spoke to you paired with her foul accusations had you slipping on your shoes and leaving her apartment. And, possibly the worst part of it all? She didn't even try to stop you.

Why was it always about her, about what she wants, always on her terms?

What about your opinion? She didn't care to hear you out, and it sounds like she doesn't give two flying fucks what you've got to say. Alexia Putellas and her dense head coming into play again, only caring about herself and her legacy and what people say about her. You'd think that as someone who, to the public, seems so very secure and content in her position as the best women's player still in the game, that she wouldn't be so worrisome and out-right vile if there was a chance something wasn't going her way.

No, she wasn't like that with you at least, not at all. You hadn't been together long, but the secrecy and, what you inferred now as shame, seeped into your mind and with each step as you walked home that day, you grew more and more, not only utterly infuriated, but overwhelmingly perturbed at the prospect of just... everything.

Perhaps your whole relationship had merely been a fluke. Something Alexia didn't take serious in the slightest, and nowhere near serious enough for you to tell people about it. Maybe, at the end of the day, you were too much for her to deal with, and the only way the Catalan could cope was by keeping you behind closed doors. The theories your mind was coming up made you sick to the pit of your stomach, and it was a miracle that you made it to the bathroom of your apartment by the time you were emptying the contents of your body.

There was some kind of higher power watching over you, because this whole fiasco had occurred when there were two days off afterwards. It was coming up to the tail end of the season, and as the latter half of the month was jam-packed with tense games, you had planned to make the most of the time off. With a few social events scattered across the two days, you had been greatly looking forward to spending time with your teammates outside of the pitch, your friends, and at the time most importantly, Alexia. That all didn't seem enticing anymore, nor did it even seem possible.

For the time being though, as you stumbled your way out of the bathroom and fell into bed, the breakfast catch-ups and evening dinners were the last things on your mind. The only way you wanted to spend your time off, was wallowing in a trench of self-pity.

And that's how you found yourself in the gym of your apartment complex some fourty hours later.

Jab, jab, hook. Jab, jab, hook. Right hook, then a left uppercut, and another right hook to follow.

Punch after punch after punch after punch. There was no stopping you in this mindset. Not with the things your head was chanting, Alexia's words circling endlessly around your mind. They were what fuelled you right now, allowing you to lay into the punching bag before you with no second thought to the consequences.

And those consequences were sure to bring you a lot of pain later, in your hands that weren't wrapped up like they should, nevermind wearing gloves.

There was music playing through the earphones you had in, but for the life of you, you couldn't even register it right now. Your vision was blurred by pure rage, failing to recognise the cuts forming with every unrestrained punch and the bruises beginning to form along the bumps of each knuckle. You had tunnel vision on one thing and one thing only, and that was trying to dispel yourself of the all-consuming anger that had plagued you for almost two days now.

"Amiga! Basta, basta, hey." A soft voice broke through your trance as your earphones were delicately tugged from your ears. "Hey, you hear me?"

As your hands were gently taken ahold of by the figure to your right, you took a deep breath and leaned forward to rest your forehead against the bag. It was now that the woman beside you realised just how poor your breathing was, and she brought one of her hands to rub caringly up and down your back.

"Más despacio, relájate. Tómatelo con calma, vale? Relájate." Her voice soothed you a little, giving you the peace of mind you needed to set your breathing back to normal. "Are you with me?"

At that, you nod and take some more breaths before leaning up and taking in the person beside you. It was Mariona, who you shared the same apartment complex with, a fact you had forgotten about. In this moment, you weren't sure if you were thankful for that fact or if you resented it.

"Yes, with you." You wiped your face on the sleeve of your shirt before properly looking at her.

"Are you okay?" Mariona knew it probably wasn't the wisest thing to say, but for the moment as she collected her thoughts and did an internal assessment of the situation, it was more of a buffer than anything.

"Um, I guess there's no point lying, is there." You state flatly, the Spaniard smiling sadly at you and shaking her head. "Things aren't great... right now, so."

"Okay. That's okay." Mariona's smile was perhaps the brightest thing you'd seen, and with her looking at you the way she was, with so much care and a major lack of judgement, it was hard to reject the help she was soon to offer.

"Will you let me take care of you? I have a first aid kit in my apartment that I can use for these." She gestured down to your bruised and battered hands that were growing more painful by the second. "We can talk if you want, or you can at least let me patch you up and I can call somebody else. It's up to you."

You thought you knew what you wanted, and it wasn't this, but now that the offer is glaringly right in your face, your inner monologue urged you to fall to your knees and beg for assistance, for someone to scoop up all the negativity in your mind and lift the weight of it from your shoulders.

Isolating yourself from everyone, as you had done in the last days, wasn't healthy in the slightest, and rationally you knew the excuses you gave for doing so were completely unwarranted. Yes, you were the newest signing, and yes, Alexia was the captain and the glue of the team. However, that did not lessen your worth, you still deserved your spot on the team and you deserved to be treated with humanity. As Mariona had shown in the span of a few moments, your teammates wouldn't pick sides depending on how long you had and hadn't known people, and they certainly wouldn't treat you any less just because you had fallen out with - foregoing her team title - your girlfriend.

You were only human after all.

"I would appreciate that, thank you, Mariona."

Once more, the forward smiled politely at you and nodded, moving to wait at the door to the gym to wait for you as you collected up your things. Each movement of your hands had you grimacing in discomfort, a fact not lost on Mariona as she took the items, like your water bottle and your jumper, from you just to take the edge off a little.

You weren't too close with Mariona, you had gravitated towards the likes of Ingrid and Fridolina and Aitana when you joined (and Alexia, of course), but at the end of the day she was still your teammate and you often found yourself in a group with her in training since you were also a forward. The 28 year old was a hard-worker, yet she was also one of the most laid-back people you'd ever met, so in her presence it was hard not to allow yourself to relax even just a tiny bit. The aura that radiated off of her was oddly settling, and as you both made your way up to her apartment in relative silence, you were offered your first slice of serenity since that day not too long ago.

"Would you like a shower first? You look like you worked yourself hard in there." Mariona offered as she closed the door of her apartment behind you.

"No, it's okay, thanks." You gave her an awkward, tight-lipped smile, feeling somewhat embarrassed at having been caught in such a vulnerable moment - a moment when you were filled with such rage and negativity, that all you could do was lay into a harmless object like a woman possessed.

"Alright. Sit down at the counter, I will get all I need and be with you in a second."

With a sheepish nod, you complied and sat at the island counter in the kitchen, taking a moment to compose yourself before you knew an emotionally charged conversation was about to take place. You were tempted to take Mariona up on her offer to call somebody else, but honestly you were already exhausted and just wanted to get this whole situation off of your chest.

You'd been lugging it around for days now, encumbered by the weight of anger that, as time went on, was bleeding into exasperation and disconcertion because, in all honesty, you just wanted your girlfriend back. That was a little difficult though, because the woman in question was still being as cold as ever and for the life of you, you couldn't get a good read on her to figure out what her stand was on it all now. Whether she'd confided in Mapi or Irene or her sister or even Mariona, you had no idea, you just hoped there was still an ounce of her that cared for you in just a sliver of the way you did for her.

Though you hadn't seen or heard from her since that evening, her actions and her words were still fresh on your mind, and no matter how much time you spent mentally going through each doing of hers, it all made zero sense. In no way shape or form had Alexia portrayed such viciousness towards you, nor had she ever been so horrible and completely unfair in the time you had known her. Maybe it was a case of only knowing her for a short-ish amount of time, but her behaviour seemed so out of character that it set a feeling of uneasiness in your chest.

Hopefully, bumping into Mariona, someone who had been good friends with Alexia for a long time, would give you some insight into why the Barcelona captain had acted in such ways.

"Here we go. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but it is unfortunately a necessary evil in this case." Mariona purses her lips forgivingly as she pulls out two alcohol wipes that already have you wincing at the thought. "Are you ready?"

"Yep, just get it done with. Please."

You hold your breath as she rips open one of the packets, then you watch on as she takes hold of your left hand first and lightly runs it over and in between each knuckle. It hurts a hell of a lot, sure it does, but with the tenderness that the Spaniard treats you with, all you can focus on is trying not to burst into tears at the kindness you're faced with. Your mind has been anything but towards you, and the last proper human interaction you had that had been longer than a few brief minutes was your intense argument with Alexia. So this moment here was overwhelming, in many more ways than one.

"That's one done, your right hand looks a bit worse. Am I okay to carry on?"

Honestly, why couldn't you have fallen for someone like Mariona, instead of the ignorant, hot-headed woman you were in love with?

"Yeah, it's fine."

The silence between you both is weirdly not unsettling or awkward at all, instead it's relatively comforting and for the first time in days, your skin isn't crawling at the fact you're left alone with nothing but the sound of your endless cycle of thoughts.

The Spaniard standing beside you was correct, your right hand was indeed slightly worse off than your left, and that was only made more clear with each brush of the wipe, clearing away the blood only to show cuts in the divots of your knuckles and bruises covering the entirety of the right end of your hand.

"You have a good punch on you, ever thought about boxing instead of football?" Mariona joked, trying to uplift the heavy atmosphere in the room.

"No, wouldn't want to mess up this face." You replied, the forward laughing quietly and nodding.

"You are right, and football is much more easy to watch."

You supplied her with an agreeing smile, trying to hide your discomfort as she moved your hands around to assess the damage and make a plan of action.

"Okay, I think I will apply some antiseptic cream for your cuts and wrap them up with bandages. Then I will give you an ice pack for each hand, does that sound alright?"

"That's perfect, Mariona, thank you." You smile gratefully at her, and thought it's not a genuine smile, you hope she understands the appreciation you hold for her.

"It is not a problem. We look after each other at Barça, sabes? Anything you need, please do not be afraid of reaching out. To any of us."

And there is her segue into striking up the conversation you'd both danced around since she saw you.

You had to give it to her, she let a few moments pass by so it could come across as a bit less obvious, but nevertheless it happened just as you had expected.

"Are you comfortable talking to me about what happened in the gym?" She took note of the hesitation you greeted that question with, so she put the tube of cream down and faced you fully. "That was a bit concerning to walk in on, and I wouldn't be at peace with myself if I let you out of here without checking in on you."

"I... I guess, yeah." You sighed.

"Thank you. How would you like to start?" Mariona wondered with her ever-present smile, pairing it with a nonchalant shrug, further evidence of her care-free nature that continued to draw you in. "You can start talking about what is on your mind, or I can ask some leading questions to help. I am fine with anything, I just want you to leave here feeling a bit better."

Mariona had asked you a few moments ago if you had ever thought about boxing. Now, you wanted to ask her if she'd ever considered being a psychologist.

"I think it would help if you asked some questions, maybe." You decided, and she nodded instantly. She grabbed the tube of cream again and started applying it at the same time she uttered her first query.

"Do you normally practice on the bag without gloves on?" It was a very light one to start off with, perhaps something to be grateful for, but despite feeling a little calmer now, your mind was still in turmoil and wasn't fully recovered yet.

"No, I always wrap them up. I didn't even plan on using the bag today, it just... I was on the treadmill and then I saw it and wanted to use it. I wasn't really thinking straight, so. Yeah. This is the result of that." You took a sharp breath as the forward smoothed over a particularly bad cut with the antiseptic.

"Mhm. And, forgive me for this one, was it your intention to hurt yourself?"

That one took your breath a little.

"No, no, not at all. It wasn't even a thought in my head, I swear, I only wanted to get my anger out." You responded hastily, trying to convince her that you were relatively okay and that this was just a blip, and you didn't need some kind of intervention.

"Okay, thank you for being honest. I'm very glad to hear that, and I'll take your word for it." After finishing with your current hand, she squeezes it comfortingly and moves onto your other one. "Are you willing to tell me what's wrong? Why you needed to get some anger out?"

"Yeah... yeah, I am. I have to give you some context though, and I'd be really grateful if you kept it between us."

Mariona wasn't a gossip by any sorts, but as a result of the months of Alexia's words drilling into you of how nobody can know about you both, it was still an anxiety you had. Yet, the woman looking after you in such a heart-warming way was quite possibly the good samaritan you needed right now, her acts of kindness a reminder to not lose all hope with the world around you. You were well within your right to freak out in the way you had - not only were you in an entirely new city, learning a language you hadn't paid any mind to since school, but rather naively you had probably depended on Alexia more than you should have.

It was a lesson to be learnt, a mistake you wouldn't make again, though in the future even if you didn't recognise it yet, you'd look back on your time so far and wouldn't even regret it that much. After all, every moment of the past ten months had led you to the love of your life, and nothing was ever completely perfect. You would take a few bumps in the road if it meant you could end the season with a few medals around your neck and the greatest woman you'd ever met on your arm. Sure, you might not think the greatest of her right now, but you would mend it. You were sure you would. Hopefully.

"Of course, I won't tell a soul. You can tell me anything and no one will ever hear a word of it." Mariona reasurred you and though you hadn't really doubted her in the first place, you were still beyond grateful to hear that.

"So, um... Alexia and I have been in a relationship for a few months."

Yet again, Mariona continued to surprise you with how marvelous she was. Or maybe it was just an after effect of how much Alexia's words had got to you, because when the islander simply raised her eyebrows for a millisecond before nodding as you revealed your news, you're shocked at how much of a low-key reaction she gave. Whether she had an incredible poker-face or she just didn't care half as much as Alexia thought people would, your body sagged in relief at that minute response. As far as human beings go, this one right here wasn't too bad at all.

"And, for reasons I still don't understand, she was adamant that we keep it a secret. Like it was some kind of war tactic we had to keep safe. She made it out to be a make or break situation for us. But she told Eli and Alba less than a week after we made it all official, which I didn't think much of. I talked to her about it back then, wondering if it was just something she wanted to keep quiet while we were only in the dating stage, but she told me I still couldn't tell anyone. I guess because I was still relatively new here, with not many close friends and still with the mindset of trying to earn my place in the team, I agreed. Then as time went on I got a bit... annoyed with what Alexia wanted, but whenever I brought it up with her she would immediately shut the conversation down. I figured I could do it slyly, without telling her and without telling anyone any kind of intricate details of our relationship. So I took matters into my own hands."

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose at this point, knowing it was here in the story where things got quite rocky. Mariona had finished applying the antiseptic at this point and was now getting the bandages ready, prepped with the medi-tape beside her to secure her wrapping. With each new fact you unveiled, she nodded along in understanding, completely on the same page with you. She didn't understand the actions of her friend as of yet, wondering why on earth she'd be so intensely secretive about her relationship to the point of not telling a single soul, but those were thoughts she wouldn't voice yet.

Mariona herself was in a private relationship, and she was happier than ever in it. However, it wasn't a secret. Sure, she wasn't posting photos of herself and Lia all over her social media, but if you looked close enough the facts were clearly there. Plus, pretty much everyone in her personal life and Lia's knew about the pair of them, and nobody was fussed. So why Alexia was acting in this way, she didn't have a single idea.

"I told my closest, most trusted friends that I was in a relationship, and that the name of the person I was with began with 'A'. That was genuinely all I gave. I warned them not to nag me with guesses of who it was as that would break my own personal rules, because after all I didn't want to go behind Alexia's back more than I already had. Then... Alexia went through my phone. She saw that my friends were making plans in the group chat back home, and then they wondered if I had plans with 'A' over the weekend."

"She went through your phone?" Mariona questioned, in disbelief at the invasion of privacy you'd experienced.

"Yes, she did. The text flashed up on my lock screen while I went to the bathroom, and then she just went on my phone and looked through my messages. I don't know how in depth she went, but..." You shrugged, averting your gaze to your aching hands, ultimately defeated by now; by Alexia and her stubbornness, by your own mind, and lastly by the fact you had been so suddenly caught out by one of your teammates.

It was at this point that the numbness dispelled and gave way for shame, embarrassment, and a bit of anxiety. After all, you didn't know anyone from the team in depth, you were still just getting to know them, and the first thing you had done when you arrived was dive head first into a relationship with their captain. There was an endless possibility to the vast amount of opinions each person could hold for you and how they felt about your relationship (even though there was almost no way at all they could know about it), and as the silent seconds ticked by, it started eating away at you.

Though, somehow, in some magical, god-given miraculous way, Mariona saw right through you. And from now on, you were to make it your life mission to give back to this messiah in the form of an attacking footballer from the Balearic Islands of Spain.

"Hey." She tapped on the counter in front of you to get your attention, achieving that when you look up at her. "You don't have to... to get defensive with me. I can bet what you're thinking, and you don't have to worry about all those thoughts. I am neutral here, helping a friend. I will not go and tell Alexia or anyone about this, not if you don't want me to. And trust me, I am on your side. I have never heard of her acting like this, I am shocked and slightly outraged too."

That was undeniably relieving to hear, for a number of reasons. But for the most part, you were glad to hear that because for the past few days your mind had been trying its damn hardest to manipulate you into thinking this whole commotion was your fault, that you were the fault-line in the relationship that had caused this rickety earthquake.

No, that was no longer a worry, because here was possibly the human example of sunshine saying she shared your view and was just as displeased as you when it came to the Catalan's behaviour. Now, knowing you had at least one person on your side, this obstacle felt a little easier to climb over.

"I do have one thing I'm wondering." After a curious hum from you, she explained. "Is there anything you would like me to do in this situation? Like, bring it up with Ale? Because for both of your sakes, I want this to be solved in the easiest way possible."

Was it a good idea, judging off of Alexia's already toxic reaction to the point where she refused to hear you out? Most likely, but, not only did you think Mariona could teach her a thing or two when it came to human interactions, there was a small (actually fairly large) part of you that wanted to fight back against Alexia's unfairness by showing her you simply were not one to be trampled on.

There were two people in this relationship, and in this moment you realised that rank, longevity, and status in a football team were measly things to worry about.

"I think that would be a good way to start. Having someone knock some sense into her." You answered, quietly delighted when Mariona laughed momentarily at your words.

"I will try to do exactly that, for you. Promise." For the millionth time that evening, you found yourself completely under the influence of that goddamn smile.

"You're very good at communication. Unnervingly good." The hearty laugh you got in response forced the first genuine smile out of you all evening.

"Well, when you have a very emotionally intelligent girlfriend, you have to keep up."

"If you could give Alexia some lessons, I would appreciate that a lot."

"I will talk to her. Don't worry."

You left Mariona's apartment not too long after, both hands wrapped precariously and feeling significantly better than you did during that gym incident, finding solace in the fact there was now a fairly solid plan of action.

The only thing you could do now, was wait.

That was harder said than done, because for the rest of that day you didn't hear from Mariona at all. Nor did you hear from her before training the day after, and for the first time since you arrived, you were wracked with nerves as you walked into the building.

Not once during the whole session did Alexia glance towards you. Not once did she even acknowledge your existence. It drove you crazy, her acting as if you were invisible. As if she couldn't get anymore fucking immature. It took a lot of self control to not act like a petulant child towards her, desperate to piss her off in a quarter of the way she had to you, but you were better than that.

So when she rocked up outside your apartment later that day, with freshly dyed blonde hair that was styled in a frustratingly attractive way, a bouquet of chrysanthemums in one hand and a takeaway bag in the other, it took all of your strength to not slam the door in her stupidly hot face.

"What are you doing here?" You asked flatly, followed by a sigh that clearly indicated she was the last person on earth you wanted to see right now.

Well, with that haircut, maybe not the last person...

"I have a lot of explaining to do, I know that. And a lot of grovelling too. I was hoping you didn't hate me that badly to let me in." Alexia smiled sadly down at you, a slight shrug to her shoulders when she speaks.

Your mind goes back and forth for a few moments, briefly running through pros and cons of letting her in, before you decide fuck it, worst comes to worst you can show off your new boxing skills.

Eyebrows raised, you walk away from the door back towards your sofa, leaving her to wonder what to do for a moment. Ultimately, she decides to slowly follow after you once she'd softly closed the door. A quick glance around your apartment tells her you hadn't eaten yet, and she takes that as a small win before heading towards where you were seated.

"I brought your favourite takeout. Would you like to me dish it up?" She asks, a little disheartened when you shake your head.

"If you came here to talk, we're gonna talk." You state firmly, waiting expectantly for her to come sit with you.

She should have expected this really, knowing how royally she'd screwed it up with you and how disgusting she had acted. But hearing you speak so sternly was a bit unnerving, even if Alexia did recognise she more than deserved it.

A second later, she nods and places her items down on your dining table before making her way over to you. Rightfully so, she leaves some space between you both when she sits down, and you have to stifle a laugh as to not ruin your façade with how on edge she looks.

"Uh, so, me first, or..." Staying silent, you raised a daring eyebrow at her, thoroughly enjoying putting her through this slight torture. "Sí, okay, me first."

Anxiously, she wipes her clammy palms on her thighs. Then she cleared her throat, glancing at you periodically before taking a deep breath and starting her explanation.

"I am well, well aware of how bad I have acted towards you. I want to make that clear first. I acted like an idiot, to the worst degree. I was selfish, rude, I invaded your privacy, and I completely fucked it all up."

Hm, not too bad of a start.

"Congratulations, you took responsibility!" You responded sarcastically, fighting the urge to give her a round of applause too. Then you're fighting off a bubble of laughter at the nervous chuckle she gives before speaking again.

"I will regret my actions until the day I die. I promise you, I will never behave like that ever again. I've never been more ashamed of myself in my life, and knowing it's you who I acted like that towards makes it a hundred times worth. Because, you..." She shakes her head and waves her hands in the air like she's speechless. "You're you. You're the most selfless person I know. Your heart is something I do not deserve to have, because of how pure and kind and beautiful it is. You are so caring, and you love with every fibre of your being. Not only that, but you're so open, and I really admire that, because that is something I'm not. I'm... I'm ashamed to admit that even now I'm still anxious, and being secretive is how I've lived all my life. I want to be more open and care-free, I really do, it's just... hard for me."

With each word, each compliment, and each reason she gives, your hardened exterior towards her is slowly getting chipped away. You're not a grudge holder, it's not in your nature. And no matter how much you tried to fight it, it was inexplicably hard to not get wrapped up in her.

"Mariona... Mariona said you didn't even tell your friends it was me you were with. She said you only told them my name began with A, and that was it."

Alexia trusted Mariona of course, that was something that naturally occurred having known her for so long, but she wanted to get confirmation from you.

"I did. They don't know it's you I'm with." You told her, and if it was somehow possible, Alexia's heart shattered just that bit more.

"Well, I'm sorry, amor. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, it was really stupid and unfair of me. I really appreciate that you didn't break my trust, like I thought you had. I... that just shows how little I valued you. And I swear, that's something you'll never have to doubt again. I value you more than anyone in my life. I have a reason for why I was... more than reluctant to tell people about us. But I don't know if you want to hear it. I don't want you to think it's some flimsy excuse."

"Well, I mean, you may as well say it now." You scoffed, watching as she gulped nervously before nodding.

"My last relationship... with Jenni. That's why I'm so worried about telling people. Because even now, years after we ended our relationship that I would never ever want to go back to, people still talk about us, comment on our posts, make edits of us, and freak out about every little fucking interaction between us. It drives me crazy, even now, when I know I should not let it get under my skin, but it does and I can't stop it."

She shrugs dismissively as she talks, eyes cast down on her hands as she fidgets with the rings on her fingers. It's clearly a topic for her that's hard to discuss, and you want to reach out and take hold of one of her hands, but you don't want to distract her.

"When I was with Jenni, I was nowhere near as 'famous' as I am now. Now, I get the most vile and intrusive articles written about me, there are always cameras on me, paparazzi trying to figure out where I am at all times, and it really worries me because I don't want to involve you in that. If the media started writing things about you that were even just half as nasty as the things they've said about me, I would never be able to live with myself. It would eat me up, amor, I don't want you to go through that."

Okay, out of all the overthinking you've done in the last three days, your mind had not mustered up this point of view. This was undeniably sweet, a stark contrast to the way she'd treated you during the argument. You'd been with Alexia long enough to be more than familiar with how she acted on her anxieties in rather unhealthy ways for herself with harmful consequences for those around her as a result. Most likely, you realised, her recent behaviour was a demonstration of that very fact.

"And though those reasons shouldn't excuse my behaviour, because I should never have acted like that, I hope it gives you a tiny bit of insight into my head and allows you to recognise my actions came from a place of love, not malice. I showed it in completely the wrong way, but I swear to you from this moment on I will treat you better than I ever have, if you let me live up to that promise."

A shaky breath leaves the woman beside you, signifying the end of her ramble. And, to be honest, you'd forgiven her long before she finished speaking.

"Thank you for opening up to me. I forgive you, I do, but I won't forget how you treated me. If you ever show even a hint of that behaviour ever again, I'm out, Alexia, you must know that." You give her a clear warning, despite the fact your heart is crying out for you to just jump right back into her arms.

"I do know, I absolutely do know that." She seems to make the leap for you, as she shuffles along the sofa and gently takes ahold of both your hands. Your wounded hands. "Amor, what... what happened?"

Her voice is filled with concern, immediately overcome with nausea as a result of the worry she feels at the sight. However, that's nothing compared to the guilt she feels when you tell her what happened.

"Oh, um... an unfortunate run in with a punching bag not too long after our argument." You reveal sheepishly.

Alexia's heart drops. It drops from her chest, to the ground, through the core of the earth, and all the way down to China.

"This... this is because of me?" She whispers the question like she's terrified to utter the words. She's even more terrified of the answer.

"I guess. Yeah. I had to get my anger out some way, and I'm sure you're glad it wasn't your face." You try to joke, but it lands flatter than a pancake.

"Amor, I..." She can't find the right words within her to even attempt to apologise.

The great thing about mental health, was that 99% of the time you couldn't see it. That meant Alexia couldn't see the psychological damage she had caused you with her words.

But this, this was concrete evidence of just how much her treatment had affected you. She had done so much damage to your self-esteem, that you had no choice but to lash out to the point of injury. That, she feared, she would never get over.

"I guess Mariona failed to mention this part to you." Another pitiful attempt to lift the mood.

"She took care of you?" Alexia asked tentatively, the tiniest bit relieved when you nod.

In a split second, her arms were wound tightly around you as she tugged you into her lap. A rush of Catalan spilled from her, of which you gathered were words of apologies and sweet nothings to convey her intense regret. You didn't catch a word, not too familiar with the language despite playing for the pride of Catalunya, but you got the gist quite quickly and it didn't take you a moment longer before your arms were wrapped around her neck.

You were flooded with relief now that you were back in her hold, the embrace finally silencing the relentless voice in your head that had been going non-stop for days now. There were tears dripping onto your neck though, something that has you furrowing your brow and urging her to lift her head up.

"Ale, what's this for?" You asked, delicately wiping some of the tears that were overflowing.

"I just... I fucked it up so bad. So bad. Dios mío, you've ended up hurting yourself because of it. I'm just so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

Alexia falls apart then, breaking out into sobs that, though it's a rather a harsh thing to admit (not that you ever would, verbally) really exemplify her guilt and regret, and tie off her apology. You hate seeing her cry, hate seeing her so ruined, but all you can do now is hug her just as tight back and hope your words provide her some comfort.

"I forgive you, Ale, I do. My hands aren't your fault, it's a result of me not being sensible when letting my anger out. It's not your fault, mi corazón, not your fault at all."

You carry on spewing words of comfort for her until her cries finally subside a few minutes later. How she rubs at her eyes is something you find adorable, the way she does so reminding you of a young child. Your own hands follow her calloused ones, treating her with the same care she had complimented you on not so long ago. It warms her heart to no end, and it offers her a little reassurance of the fact you don't hate her guts.

"It's my fault a little bit." She mumbles, and there's a speckle of humour in it that you're not hesitant to jump on.

"Maybe a tiny bit." You whisper scandalously, smiling at the tearful laugh she lets out. "But I don't resent you for it. If I did, we wouldn't be in this position right now, okay?"

"Whatever you say, amor." Alexia nods, a semi-genuine smile on her face as she leans forward to rest her forehead on your shoulder.

"There's one thing I need from you for us to move past this." You state seriously a few quiet moments after.

She lifts her head up and nods vigorously, prepared to do just about anything you asked for if it meant she could love you for the rest of her life.

"I want to be able to tell people that are important to us. My family, my friends. Your family and friends. Our teammates. I'm not asking for us to go public on social media, I'm not asking for anything like that. I just want us to be more open. I want to be able to walk around Barcelona with you, like we did together when we started out dating. Because those moments with you, where you showed me your favourite restaurants and cafes and places special to you, they're some of my favourite memories with you. I just long for us to have a normal relationship, not one kept in the safety of our apartments behind closed doors. Because it's embarrassing and... and soul destroying being treated like I'm invisible. Just... treat me like a human fucking being in training, please? In public?"

It felt rather humiliating to be begging for such normal things, but that was the exact word you would use to describe this whole thing for you. Humiliating. To be treated like you had by, arguably, the sole person who shouldn't treat you like that, was something you never wished to experience again. Because, if you did? Well, there was simply no coming back.

But, you supposed, being in love was all about taking chances on people and relationships couldn't be built without a steady foundation of trust. That's all you could do now; trust in Alexia to nurture your heart like a delicate blossom where she cherishes every petal with gentle devotion.

"I will. Mi amor, I will do that and more. I will do anything you want me to, I promise that I will change my bad habits so that you never have to suffer at my hands again. I will love you like it's the last thing I'll do. You could never be invisible to me, you never were. From the first time I saw you, in your two-sizes-too-big Barça jumper on your first day, you've been everything but invisible to me."

Finally, the nail in the coffin to this whole ridiculous thing. And man, were you glad to see the back of it.

"As long as you don't embarrass me by one-upping me with your flawless free-kicks."

Despite the push to the shoulder you give her, you giggle and pull her back in for another hug. You'd been deprived of her embrace for far too long, and you planned to make up for it.

"I can't make any promises, unfortunately." You teased, grinning into the skin of her neck as her hands splayed out over your back, rubbing up and down comfortingly.

"I think I will take that." Alexia murmured, hugging you just that bit tighter before she leaned back. She moved her hands from your back to softly cradling your face, her eyes jumping from each feature to feature, trying to commit her favourite art piece in the world to her memory. Then, she met your gaze, and the sincerity and earnest present there was breathtaking. "We'll be okay?"

It was asked in such a vulnerable tone, you couldn't help but smile down at her.

"We'll be okay, Ale."

Going into training the next day, there was a spring in your step. Alexia had stayed over at yours the previous night, near enough refusing to leave. That meant she was wearing the same trousers as the day before along with one of your sweaters that, to your amusement, was evidently slightly too small for her as the cuffs ended just shy of her wrists. Call it your revenge perhaps, but as you both arrived at training together, chatting freely with content smiles on your face, it felt like a new leaf had been turned.

Alexia had made many mistakes with you, that she knew. She also knew she had no more chances, so she was going to try her absolute hardest to never act like such a fool again, even if it killed her. However, the shy smile on your face when she bounded up to you after Jona demanded the team to get into pairs for 1-on-1 practice, was enough proof for her to realise that it wouldn't be such a shame to go out of this world as a result of your love.

She almost came to regret that though when you handed her ass to her on a plate with each of your attempts to get past her. Because, quite frankly, you did embarrass her. Crossing her sides and body-checking her and out-skilling her each time was satisfying to no end, and it was exactly what you needed really. At one point, there was an ounce of worry that perhaps Alexia would be annoyed, but that dissipated immediately when she would laugh and slap her own forehead each time she was outshone.

That tiny speck of worry was completely forgotten about when, after the last attempt of the day, Alexia ran up behind you and lifted you up off the ground with her arms around your torso. Her mouth found its way to your ear as she took a few steps whilst carrying you, squeezing you tightly once.

"Never embarrass me like that again." She murmured jokingly, fighting back a grin as you laughed unabashedly in her hold. Afterwards, she put you down and moved to walk closely beside you, heading back to the main building as Jona called the end of training.

"You're the one that partnered up with me, Ale." You nudged her in the side with your elbow, gazing up at her with an adoring look that had Alexia's heart jumping in her chest.

"Maybe, but I only have one thing to say."

"What's that?" You hummed.

"Thank god for Mariona." She murmured, smiling as you giggled and nodded.

That smile was wiped off her face when an arm flung around her shoulders not a second later.

"Thank god for who?"

"I don't need your bragging right now, Mario, you're ruining a nice moment."

"I made this nice moment happen, Ale, you better thank me properly soon."

With that, the islander left just as quickly as she had arrived. When Alexia noticed the teasing grin on your face at the interaction, she shoved at your shoulder with a grumble under her breath.

"She really got through to you, then?"

"Oh, yeah, she beat my ass."

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 16 [final chapter] (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

warning(s): talk of past drug use and withdrawal symptoms.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 11 / chapter 12 / chapter 13 / chapter 14 / chapter 15

[love renée but fuck am i getting sick of this gif. been looking at it for sixteen goshdarned chapters. finally i am freed.]

You woke up first. Naturally. Every time, every single morning that you'd had sleepovers, you'd been the first to wake up. The sun was shining through the blinds in a pleasant, warm yellow tone. Still morning but not unreasonably early.

You shifted to a more upright position, looking down at the girl still snoozing, whose hand was holding onto your forearm. She was all sprawled out, starfished as much as one could be on a couch. Her body was taking up the shorter end of the L-shape, one knee curled up towards her body, just barely on the couch, while the other stretched well beyond the end of the divan. You were situated much the same, except the other way around. You laid on the longer end so that your heads had almost met in the corner.

Her arms reached out towards you, one around your pillow and the other holding onto you. You knew you'd fallen asleep with much more distance between you, but you couldn't say you minded her having drifted.

Did you, though? You sighed and grumbled as you got up. Might as well do something while you contemplated reality, or something. Mrs George had insisted on some classic American breakfast ingredients, such as bacon and pancake mix. You didn't feel like causing a fire hazard, so pancakes were a no-go, at least for now. Eggs and bacon you could do.

What did you even, like, want? Realistically, actually, no, unrealistically what did you want? There was no sense in trying to make your base wants and desires realistic because at that point was any of that yours anymore? Likely not.

You wanted nights spent with Regina, talking and eating take-out, laughing until your tummy hurt and looking at her glowing in the blue light of whatever Adult Swim show was on at the time. You wanted grocery trips with Mrs George and to go to Kylie's games. You wanted people at school to just, simply not be jerks. You wanted Janis to find peace. You wanted Cady to wake up.

You wanted yesterday to not have happened. You wanted Thanksgiving dinner at the Georges' to never have happened. You wanted for your dad to be different, for Mr George to be different. You wanted your mom to not have died.

Looking at the bacon sizzling in the pan, you chewed on your lips and thought about that. You wanted many things. So many things, mostly for things to not have happened or to have happened differently. It was all wildly unrealistic. You were not a wizard, a time-traveller, or some other mystic being. You were a teenager.

You cracked the eggs into the mix. God, it smelled divine. You pulled a salt and pepper shaker from the spice rack and sprinkled a reasonable amount on there. You groaned out loud and threw your head back when you remembered there was sriracha in the fridge. Mrs George had seen you eyeing the bottle and had not taken a no for an answer, despite your abundant protestations.

"Spare your kitchen utensils the horror and go masturbate in your room like a normal person!" Regina hollered from the living room.

"Oh! Spatula! Harder! Harder!" You cried, moaning like you were receiving the blowie of your life. "If you want breakfast you're gonna have to witness this sordid affair." You called back, giggling. You leaned back from the stove, bending back at the waist. Regina was leaning her chin on the armrest, still more or less sprawled on your couch. There was a pout on her lips and a light flush to her cheeks.

"I'll show you sordid, nerd." She grouched before getting up. You straightened your posture, turning back to the stove, and probed the eggs in the pan with the spatula with a satisfied grin on your face.

You wanted this and more, above all. Was that something you were allowed to want? More importantly, was that something you were allowed to ask for?

Regina came up behind you, hand coming to rest on the small of your back. You didn't jump, much, which you were proud of.

"Looks yummy." She pointed out.

You hummed in agreement. "Can you put toast in the toaster?"

"Sure."

Then, as if no time at all passed, you were sitting down. Then eating and chatting. There was toast, eggs and bacon, and you'd made yourself a bowl of oatmeal. Mrs George had splurged on some blueberries and local honey. Regina refused to make eye contact when you were chewing, citing that your O-face was hard to look at. You only moaned louder and made more faces at her.

Then, just as you were heading to the couch to digest the meal as god intended, lying down, Regina yanked you to the foyer. Still in your jammies and everything, she insisted you bundle up and go for that walk she was talking about yesterday.

You'd hoped she would've forgotten. Sure, the weather was nice for once but if you didn't have to go outside then why would you? It was below freezing!

Much like her mother, she would not budge. You were going on a walk.

"What am I? A dog?" You muttered as you wrapped your scarf around your neck.

"If you were a dog, you'd be a... A Doberman." She was already dressed. It was odd for your roles to have switched like this. Usually, you were the one waiting for her to get ready. She had on a thick, white parka and a cute beanie. She also had on black leggings sure to insulate absolutely nothing and bulky, also black, fur boots.

"What? 'Cause I'm big and scary?" You preened at that, smiling widely.

"Nope." She tilted her head, examining you. "Gloves."

"Geez, okay, mom." You grabbed some mittens from the hat rack. "Why Doberman?"

"They wouldn't look so scary if they didn't have their ears clipped, y'know?" She said. You just looked at her weirdly, not catching her meaning. Your ears were not clipped. "Anyway, let's go."

"Aye aye," With that, you were out of the door.

You walked the block and down to the street. The sidewalk stopped so you went by the side of the road. She was walking ahead of you. It was cold out but not too windy, so it didn't feel so bad.

The sidewalk started again eventually. There, you walked side by side. You were just looking at a bird perched on a wire when you felt her grab your hand. Thinking she had something to say, you turned to look at her. She was still facing forward, the other hand in her pocket, walking along. She was just holding your hand.

Oh. Oh. She was holding your hand. Out in public. Not a lot of people were out at this hour, not even cars since it was a weekend. There was a woman with a stroller. A psychopathic man out on a jog. A dog walker. Still, it was outside where anyone who walked by could see.

You arrived at the park, hands clasped together. You stopped by a bench.

"I don't think we should sit." You said, observing the coating of snow piled on top.

"Let's go over there." Regina pointed to a tree a little ways away.

You went obediently, following the tug of her hand in yours. She was holding your hand. You felt all warm in your chest, like you were full of warm water.

You stopped by the tree. She looked around, trying to spot if anybody was nearby. Then, like she had a secret to tell you, she motioned for you to bend down closer. You did. Her hand squeezed at your fingers as the other came up to your neck, pulling you down the rest of the way.

The warmth you'd felt became hot, like an oil fire erupting in the foil-covered saucepan that was your heart, kernels and half-popped popcorn sputtering out as she kissed you. Your eyes just barely got to shutter closed before she pulled away. Instinctively, your body so starved of affection and touch, you chased her and found her lips again.

She smiled against your mouth. It felt like a secret of the utmost importance being shared, like a pinkie finger wrapped around your own in the corner of the room during a sleepover, giggled promises and childish adoration. She tasted vaguely like breakfast, and maybe egg-breath should've been nasty, but it wasn't.

Cold seeping in, the anxious feeling like you were soon going to be caught taking hold, you pulled away. You didn't lean away entirely, crowding her against the tree. When you'd gotten so close, pinned her, you weren't sure.

"Do..." What were you supposed to say post-kiss? "Do you like it sloppy?"

"What?" Her brows furrowed and the smile on her face turned sharper. What to say post-kiss: Not That.

"Uh, I mean, I just- uh..." You swallowed. "I don't know how to, like, I don't have technique. I dunno. Was that good? I saw Aaron was doing it differently..."

Regina rolled her eyes, head thumping lightly against the tree as her neck lolled back. "You would bring up Aaron now." She sighed. "It's fine. It's- it's good."

"Okay." You swallowed again. A slow smile crept up to your face. "It was good?"

"Ugh, yes, shut up." She shoved you away, but you just allowed the momentum to swing you back to her. "I... I don't think I'm good at words."

You chuckled at that. "No, you're not." She glared. You shrugged. "But, hey, you know me. I'm Chatty Kathy."

"No," She huffed through her nose, seemingly in frustration. "I wish I could say to you what I mean. What I feel. But I just... It's... It's not supposed to be but it's embarrassing."

Looking at her, hunched in on herself like a girl her age was supposed to be at times, so different from how she was most of the time, made your chest feel tight. You figured a person having been raised like she was, having turned out the way she had, would find being vulnerable uncomfortable. Or, as she said it, embarrassing.

Then again, it wasn't your place nor your duty to psycho-analyze her.

"Reg, I..." You hesitated. "I'm tired of, like, sitting in the passenger seat while you bulldoze everyone. I'm tired of feeling like if I do something you don't like you'll push me under too." You pulled away from her, hands getting sore from leaning your weight against the rough bark. "And then there's this whole thing." You gestured around you at the empty park. "Even if we were the best couple ever in terms of, I dunno, vibes or something, we're still..."

"Lesbians." She finished for you. "I'm a lesbian, Jorts." A sentence you never thought you'd hear from Regina George. "I know. For me, it felt justified for a long time, keeping them in their place, but since we started talking again, doing all that stuff just started to seem... Unimportant. And stupid." She fiddled with her fingers, eyes glued to the space between you. "It hasn't gone away. I still want to, I guess, hurt people because it does make me feel better even if it's, like, fucked up. But I want something else more than I want that."

"What's that?" You couldn't help but ask, hope stuck in your throat. Choking hazard.

"You, obviously." She said it so flippantly as if those words didn't just send your heart into the Milky Way. "I want you. I'll stop doing that stuff for you. I know we can't be out yet, but I... I have good grades."

You looked at her, puzzled. She huffed and continued. "I'll go to college. Major in, uh, I dunno, some sorta politics and I'll change the law. Maybe a law degree would work better for that, actually." She seemed to think about it for a moment before returning to her point. "Whichever one would be best in getting gay marriage legalized."

"You..." You had to laugh at that, disbelieving as well as delighted. "You're gonna change the world for me?"

"If that's what it takes." She said, determination shining so bright it made your eyes water.

"Wow, okay." You licked your lips, trying to will the stupid grin off your face. You had some important questions still. "If I moved away, would you still stop?"

She paused at that. Took a moment to really look at you, like she hadn't considered that to be a real possibility.

"Yes." She sounded so sure you believed her. "I just don't have... What it takes anymore. I guess. I don't know if there's something wrong with me that I... I want to be mean, sometimes. It's funny. For me." She glanced down and then looked somewhere over your shoulder. "It took a lot of work to get to what Regina George is now. I don't want to put in all that next year."

"Y'know what they say. New year, new me." You quipped, looking down at her. You were quite sure your pupils had morphed into heart shapes, despite your valiant efforts to have this meaningful conversation without seeming like a love-drunk idiot.

(She kissed you. You kissed her. It was a beautiful morning, you were on a walk and you'd held hands and then you'd kissed under a barren willow tree. It was the first day of Christmas break and you were spending it with Regina George.)

"Does that mean I can be a raging bitch till January 1st?" She asked, eyebrow notching.

You laughed. "Only if you..." You bit your bottom lip, getting nervous. "Only if I get a kiss for every mean thing you say."

"Deal." She offered her hand to you, a cheesy smile on her face.

You pulled your glove off and spit on your hand, then made to take hers.

"Ew! That's disgusting!" She flinched away from you, violently shoving herself back against the tree. "Don't- no! Not near me! Don't touch me with that!"

She bolted and you ran after her, cackling maniacally. You waved your spat-on hand at her as you chased her around the park, her shrieking and you laughing.

"I'm serious, J!" She looked at you over her shoulder as she ran. "Stop chasing me!"

"Stop running away from me!"

"You're just gonna smear your spit on me, you- you fiend!"

"Pinky swear I won't!"

"I won't pinky-swear with your disgusting paws, you-"

With a yelp, Regina tripped over something, probably a root, and fell to the ground. You, having been closing in on her, put the brakes on, windmilled your arms, and tried to stop, but soon followed her into the snow.

"Ouf!" The breath wooshed out of her as you fell on her. She wheezed as you rolled off of her, half-heartedly punching in your direction. You giggled and dodged to the best of your ability, not even minding the snow seeping through your pyjama pants.

Giving some time for her to recover, you laid on your back and looked up at the sky. Clear blue with some thick, greyish clouds looming in the peripheral, morning was turning to day fast. Soon, the park would surely get some more traffic. Kids and their adults, mostly. There was a sizeable play area in the centre. You were pretty much on the outskirts of the park.

It was a familiar spot. You and the guys used to meet your other friends here all the time. Those times it'd been night, too dark to see the faces of the guys with big gym bags, filled to bursting with little plastic baggies and glass bottles.

You turned your head to look at her once her breathing had quieted down.

"You bitch," She hissed at you, the usual venom in her voice gone, replaced by exhaustion. You could only smile, somewhat sheepish but mostly just happy.

"It'd be a lot harder to resist if we were still in school, y'know." You said, turning back to watch the sky. "You can't change the law until we graduate. Until then, we're stuck here. And then, let's say you do change the law and it's passed, it's gonna take some time for people to accept that."

"Yeah," Regina agreed, folding her arms under her chin to lean on.

"And you can say that you'll change a hundred times easily, but actually doing it is different."

"When did you get so wise?"

"When I was all alone for years and did some stupid stuff."

"Like what?" You could tell she wouldn't be expecting what you said next. Even you weren't expecting it.

"You know how I sell drugs and alcohol, right? Where do you think I get the stuff from? I got to know some people while we weren't talking." You sighed. Remembering those times, the worst of them, still so fresh despite it having been years, wasn't nice. "Vandalism, underage drinking, shoplifting, driving without a licence... Did some harder drugs than weed... Stupid shit. I stopped most of it when I got caught the last time and almost went to juvie. Dad got me out, somehow. Probably threw money at people."

You turned your head to look at Regina. She was already paying keen attention to you. "I told my mandated therapist I was gonna change. I said I wasn't going to ever do anything like that ever again. I lied, of course."

"When did you actually stop, then?" She asked.

"Months after the mandated therapy was over." You put your hands in your pockets, getting cold. "I wanted to do it before then. I wanted to just, not be that. A druggie fifteen-year-old spraypainting some dilapidated trailer, hanging around guys that were way too old to be hanging around me. I didn't want to be that but at the same time being anything else was terrifying. I don't think highly of myself, but that was low even for me. Then, Mrs George found me one time."

"Mom?" The question was more out of shock than actual inquiry.

"Yeah." You blinked a couple of times. "I was in a bad state. Withdrawals. I made her promise she wouldn't tell my dad if I allowed her to take me home. She was talking the whole ride from downtown to mine, trying to keep me awake. I just lost it. I don't remember what I said or exactly what I did, but she had to pull over and restrain me." You gulped. "It was awful. Then she offered that I could mow your lawn for some money. I used it the first couple of times to get a new dose. She used to ask what I'd be spending it on and those times I had some bullshit excuse, but the first time I said I was probably gonna get some McDonalds', she cried. Cried real actual tears." You didn't feel like looking at Regina, but you could feel her eyes on the side of your head. "After that it just... It wasn't worth it."

"You never told me." Regina breathed out, still sounding shocked.

"I didn't want to." You turned onto your side, body facing her. "I was- am ashamed."

You didn't feel shame now, though. You undoubtedly would later, tomorrow perhaps, but not now. You were glad for it. You regretted it, wished you hadn't gone down that road, but lying there in the cold snow there was only indifference. That had happened. You had done that.

"Me too." She whispered. "Obviously, it's not the same, but-"

"I know what you mean. And it could be more similar than you think. Quitting an addiction is hard, but I wouldn't say quitting a behaviour is easy."

"It's stupid to compare drug addiction to being a bitch." Regina huffed, a frown on her face. "It's incomparable."

"Well, then let's not compare. Both can be hard in their own way without diminishing the other. What I'm trying to point out is that," You thought for a moment. "We're both trying to get over a bad, toxic habit that feels safe and good and like the only option, without seeing the merit or the other supposedly better option first. It's scary."

"Are you still trying to get over it?"

"I haven't been on drugs since, no. But it's not something that goes away. Not ever."

"And you're still kinda in it." She said, remembering your hustle around the school.

"Yeah. I can't expect you to be all buddy-buddy with everybody suddenly. That'd be hypocritical."

"So what do we do?"

What a question. One that you did not have the answer to. You didn't feel unsettled by the confusion. You hadn't told anyone of your dark past (gosh, could you be any more emo?) since those that knew had just kind of stumbled across it, so telling somebody felt... Good. You'd just sort of blurted it all out without thinking about it too much.

"Can we go back home? I wanna..." You stopped, realizing I wanna make out with you on the couch sounded awfully crude.

A lecherous grin spread Regina's cheeks. "Oh, I see. You just want me for my body."

"No!" You denied, indignant. "I would never."

"You would never want me for my body." She reiterated, purposefully misconstruing what you said. "Wow. Just wow."

"Regina, c'mon, I just mean..."

"Say what you were gonna say." She rolled away and up, towering above you with a twinkling smile pointed down at your prone body.

"Let's just go," You said and tried to get up. Like some bondage dominatrix, she pushed you back down with a shoe on your chest.

You hated how that sort of got to you. Your heart beat faster against her Ugg. Hopefully, she didn't feel it through the thick sole.

"Nuh-uh. Say it."

"I... I wanna make..." You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. "I wanna go home and make out with you on the couch."

"Oh, that wasn't so hard, now was it, baby? Let's go."

It was only once you'd made it back, chucked your wet clothes into the hamper, and spent a considerable amount of time in liplock, that either of you thought to circle back.

"Hey," Regina said, adjusting her weight to not be leaning on you so heavily. Your lips smacked apart and, gosh, now you were the gross ones. "I just now realized,"

"What are you realizing while you're supposed to be kissing me?" You pouted, falling onto your side and away from her. Your hand went over your eyes like you were a swooning maiden. Regina just patted your leg in mock consolation.

"You have your drug thing-" Only she would refer to your past addiction as your drug thing. "but I was, like, the only one doing anything actually wrong. Actively. You know what I mean." You craned your neck to look at her. Your double chin was probably epic.

"I lied to you by omission. I was really mean to you on Thanksgiving."

"Okay, lying by omission was bad and never do that again," She paused, waiting for you to affirm. You nodded solemnly. "But you were only mean after I was mean first. So, both forgiven. Anyway, I'm talking, like... I don't know how to say it."

You blinked. You didn't know what she meant so you couldn't really help. Regina huffed, nails scratching absent-mindedly on your calves.

"You made it sound like we were both wrong for how things exploded." She eventually said. "That was all me."

"I shouldn't have been such a doormat. I let you walk all over me and I never said anything about how I really felt."

"I don't think you can be in the wrong for that."

"I think I can be. At least the way that I was. I could've said something."

"And what would that've achieved? Me cutting you off and nothing changing?"

You clambered up to your elbows. "And now we're here." You smiled, one side a little crooked with how gleeful you were. "Look, we can hash everything out during the break, now just... Let's focus on other things."

Regina, still looking conflicted, caressed a hand up your leg. You shivered. You were in just a hoodie and loose briefs. Regina was more covered up than you, but still in just your old basketball shorts and a big band tee.

"Reggie, I'm getting used to asking for things I shouldn't want. Amuse me." You turned onto your back and hooked your legs around Regina. She fell forward, hands braced on either side of your torso. "Kiss me."

"I just don't want to mess up and have all this go away." She swallowed, a worried crease between her eyebrows.

"I think we're gonna mess up plenty of times. It's a possibility you'll find some justification to make somebody's life hell for a time. I could relapse." You pulled her closer with your legs, arms coming up to cross your fingers behind her neck. "A lot of the time we're not gonna want to admit it, we might not even know it. So, we can lay out a few... Promises, or something."

"Okay," Regina said, gazing down at you like you never imagined. Like you meant things to her. Important things.

"Promise me that you'll listen. Even if you disagree, please hear me out." She nodded seriously. "And, in turn, I promise to speak my mind. When I don't like something, or just like something, I'll say so." Again, she nodded. You loosened your hold on her neck and rubbed your thumbs on her cheeks. Getting to touch her like this, having her literally between your legs, was more than you ever thought you'd get.

Even if this ended in a similar fashion to the Thanksgiving kiss, or even much, much worse, you'd have regretted not taking the chance for the rest of your life.

"And... This is the most important one... Come closer."

Regina shifted closer, bending down, her elbows coming to rest next to your chest as she turned her ear towards you.

You whispered conspiratorially, like this was top-secret: "Still let me do your yard work."

Notes: Fucking christ. I wrote this all in one sitting. 4.3k words. That's like two chapters. I've written long chapters before, longer than this, but I got so used to the 2k on average pace that this felt huge.

Also! Don't be spooked by the [final chapter] marking! This is the last chapter in the story, yes, but we'll be hearing more from Reggie and Jorts still! I have a couple of epilogue sequences I want to write. Would y'all be interested in a poll as to what order those should be published? As in, chronological. Do we start from 10 Years Later... or something more like, idk, next summer? Lmk in the comments :)

This might be counterintuitive to add, and if my lovely amazing readers have exercised their reading comprehension during this series they might get why on a more nuanced level, revenge on Gretchen was left out purposefully. This will not be the last we hear of her, I have some plans for her in some of the epilogues, but yes. That plot point was left open on purpose.

The name. A lot of people like it! I was feeling insecure about my lack of foresight and impulsive naming, but hey, as it turns out it's not that deep! To add, it went really nicely with the end there I think :) No changes will be happening.

This note is getting so long. I just wanna thank everybody that's been along for the ride so far. I read every single comment and check my notifications way too often for new ones. I'm pretty used to writing for quite dead/inactive fandoms on AO3, and I love that site it's my origin, but it's very different to Tumblr. I just feel like people on here are much more open to sharing their thoughts. Everybody who's bore witness to my grief with the taglist, thank you for your patience. And thank you so much for wanting to be on it. I cannot believe people wanted that. For little ole me? Oh, you shouldn't have...

If there are spelling errors or grammatical weirdness, shhh. I'm not reading all that again at 1am. Toodles!

Taglist will be posted separately! Comment on that post if you want to be added to be notified when the epilogies are published!

[ladykailitha]

Of Butterflies and Backstrokes Part 5

Hey guys!! Things are finally starting to move in this story, I'm not sure how much longer we have, but I just started Eddie's training, so whooo!!

In this we have Eddie being dumb, fixing it, and then apologizing properly! He can be taught!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

~

Robin smacked the back of Steve’s head as she walked past. “No staring. It’s creepy!”

Steve ducked his head and blushed. He had been caught staring so many times today that, yeah, it was starting to be a little creepy now. But in all fairness, Eddie was staring right back. A thought that sent Steve spiraling. But like in a ‘oh shit, that’s hot!’ way.

Which he really, really needed to tamp down on, because yes, the guy was eighteen, but like barely.

“You should just go talk to him,” Robin encouraged gently. Because for all her teasing, she knew how important it was for Steve to talk to him about his swimming.

Steve nodded. He had time until his next class. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. He walked up to Eddie and flashed him his patented Harrington smile.

“Hey, you’re Eddie, right?” he said warmly. “Robin tells me you like to swim on Saturdays, yeah?”

Eddie blinked at him for a moment. “Um, hi. Yup! That’s me. My mom used to call me her little fish.”

Steve grinned. He liked that. He wished his mom had taken that kind of interest in his swimming. “I saw you swimming when I was helping Joyce set up for the party last weekend and you were really good! Did you compete in high school?”

“Nah,” Eddie said with a shrug. “I wanted to, but I couldn’t get someone to take me that early in the morning so I stopped. Competed in middle school, though. I was decent enough, I guess.”

Steve was shocked. To have to stop just when you hit your stride must have been quite the blow.

“That fucking sucks, man,” Steve said with a grimace. He scratched his cheek thoughtfully. “You ever think about competing on the national level? Because I really think you could.”

Eddie rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Yeah, right. I couldn’t afford the coach let alone all the traveling I’d have to do to make it to meets. I’m going to have to pass on that one.”

“There’s actually a program here for people who can’t afford it,” Steve hedged. “Robin used it when we both first started out.” He was fighting back the urge to start biting his nails.

Eddie’s eyes narrowed and Steve gulped. “Is that so?” He nodded. “Well ain’t that nice. Still not interested.”

Steve wished the floor would swallow him or that pool would suddenly flood or that he’d get a brain aneurysm and die, right there on the spot. He pursed his lips together and nodded with his whole upper body. He turned on his heel and walked away.

When he was about to the other side of the pool, Eddie called out, “Who would even want to coach me?”

Steve turned around with a grin. “I would.” Then he spun on his toes and walked out of the pool area to the cool fresh air of the hallway.

~

Once Steve was out of the pool area and into the hall, he had a full on panic attack. He sank to the floor and held his head in his hands. Why the fuck did he offer to coach Eddie? He didn’t know Eddie, he was afraid of deep water, and he hadn’t even talked to Joyce yet.

It was a real mess now, but the words just forced themselves from him and now he wants to gobble them back up. Well maybe they’ll just avoid each other from now on. They had done a pretty good job up to this point, they could just continue as normal and forget all about how Steve made a fool of his himself.

Then slowly he began to come out of his panic attack to the sounds of soft words and the gentle rubbing of his wrists with their thumbs. His breathing evened, his heart rate dropped, and his eyes fluttered open.

The eyes looking back at him were warm chocolate brown and deeply concerned. The angel in front of him said something but Steve couldn’t hear. Then all at once all the sounds came rushing back into the hall. And suddenly there were more people in the hall with him than he thought. In addition to Eddie who was the one holding his hands, Robin and Joyce were there too.

“I think he’s coming around,” Joyce said gently as Steve’s eyes focused on her. “Hey, there, Steve. Are you okay now?”

Steve gulped, nodding. He was feeling better. In fact he didn’t have a pounding headache like he usually had after an episode. “My head doesn’t hurt.” He looked over at Robin in confusion. “Why doesn’t it hurt?”

“Uh...” Eddie said hesitantly. “I might have something to do with that. I used some calming techniques my friend’s dad showed me.”

Steve turned to him, mouth open in awe. “Oh. Thank you.” He didn’t know what to do with that because technically it was his conversation with Eddie which caused the panic attack in the first place. But maybe that’s why Eddie helped, because he knew he’d caused it. That was a nice thought, Steve supposed.

Eddie smiled and stood back up. “I have to get back to work. You take care of yourself, okay Stevie?”

Steve nodded and Eddie slapped his hands on his knees, standing up. He muttered goodbye to the two women and then wandered off.

As Robin helped him to his feet, she said dryly, “I take it the conversation didn’t go well.”

He barked out a laugh causing Joyce to look back and forth between them in confusion. So Steve put her out of her misery. “I was telling him that he was good enough of a swimmer to compete, but I think he thought I was mocking him or something, because he kinda blew me off.”

He rubbed his temples for a moment before adding. “I even offered to coach him.”

Joyce blinked at him for a moment. “You offered what now?”

When he looked up both Robin and Joyce were looking at him with large, wide eyes and slack jaws. “Yeah, that’s kinda what started the panic attack if I’m honest. I know I am like the worst person for the job with all my...” he waved his hand helplessly. Then he snapped his fingers. “Issues. Anyway. It was nice of him to help me out after all that.”

“Dingus...” Robin said with a heavy sigh. “What were you going to do if he accepted?”

Steve grimaced and ducked his head. “Have you help me?” He looked up at her through his eyelashes and batted them, pouting.

Robin pushed his shoulder. “Disgusting!” Then she gave him a huge hug and kiss on the cheek. “Of course I’d help you.”

“I think it would be perfect,” Joyce blurted out. They both turned and looked at her. “This place could use the publicity if I’m honest. There are other pools in Indy that have been bringing in the bigger names. So if Eddie accepts and starts training under five time gold medal champion Steve Harrington...”

“Then this place could start bringing in the big names again,” Robin said. “Not to say that Steve isn’t a big name of his own,” she added when Steve’s face twisted into something like offense.

Steve shook his head. “Which isn’t going to happen because he said no.”

Joyce and Robin sighed. There was that. But they knew they shouldn’t go trying to pressure Eddie into it. Plus, despite how good he was there was no telling he’d be on par or better than his younger peers.

Steve and Robin left Joyce standing there, pondering her dilemma.

~

Eddie chewed on the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. He was grateful that the technique worked, but he was pretty sure that he had caused the attack in the first place. Which was... not good. He could have handled the offer to have him trained to compete a little better. Steve was paying him a compliment and he threw it back in his face as charity. He didn’t need charity not from no one.

There was no two ways about it. He was going to have to apologize. Which was never his strong suit. But he’d do it. He just wasn’t going to take Steve up on his offer. He would see about staying on here as paid help because then he could still have access to his beloved pool.

It took him a couple of days but finally their schedules matched up and Eddie was on his break and Steve had time between classes again.

“Um, hey,” he said timidly, sauntering up to Steve. “I just wanted to apologize for being a bitch on Monday. I was rude and that wasn’t fair.”

A slow smile spread out over Steve’s face. “Thanks. I did just spring it on you without an preamble, so...”

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, there was that. But it still was mean and I should have been nicer.”

“Well, you made up for it by helping me with the panic attack afterwards,” Steve said. “I’d say that makes us even.”

“A panic attack I’m pretty sure I caused.”

Steve winced, confirming the worst of Eddie’s suspicion on that one. Steve rubbed his chin thoughtful. “I’ll tell you what, if you teach Robin and Joyce that technique you used to pull me out of my panic attack, then we’ll be even.”

Eddie smiled that sweet closed mouth smile that melted Steve’s insides when he saw it. “Sure thing I can do that. On Saturday before the crew swim. I’ll teach them both.”

Steve’s shoulders relaxed. That was going to be so useful, having multiple people know how to get him out of an attack would make it easier for him to go out in public. Something that was very limited after the incident in Beijing.

“That’ll be great, thanks.”

“You should come too,” Eddie suggested. “I know you don’t like being in the pool, but you could come hang out and have a little fun for a change.”

Steve gasped dramatically. “What do you mean? Isn’t teaching beginning classes meant to be fun?”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. It took him two seconds long than it should have to realize that Steve was joking him. He pushed Steve’s shoulder playfully.

“At least with us,” he teased, “we won’t try and drown you, deliberately or otherwise.”

Steve tilted his head to side and looked at him in confusion. Where the urge to bite those cheeks came from, Eddie will deny knowing until his last breath. “I saw that snotty teenaged little shit try to pull you into the pool. That’s fucked up at hell.”

Steve’s smile was blinding. “Fair enough. I like getting to sleep in on Saturdays, but we’ll see.”

Eddie grinned back. “I never used to get up this early for school. But ya know, keeping out of jail is pretty inspiring.”

“I could see that, yeah,” Steve agreed. “It was the one downside being on the swim team in high school.”

“You went to a regular high school?” Eddie asked tilting his head. “I would have thought after getting fifth in your first Olympics you would have gone to a special school for kids that are huge in sports or whatever?”

Steve blinked at him for a moment. “Do they have schools like that?”

“They do for like actors and shit,” Eddie said with a shrug. “So I assumed they would have something similar for the jocks.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, no. That would have been preferable.” He shook his head. “But no, it’s much more cut throat that than that. Pretty much, schools try and poach students from other schools to make the best sports teams.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, really?”

“Yep!” Steve said beaming at him. He looked up at the clock on the wall. “Look, my next class is about to start. So I really should get going. Especially with Joyce’s son in the class, I don’t want to be late.”

“Why is he starting so late?” Eddie asked. “I would have thought with Joyce being in charge of the rec center and his older brother literally being a trainer too, he would have been in the tots class.”

Steve nodded. “She didn’t get the manager position until five years ago and Will was afraid of the water by then. So they just waited until he was ready.”

“So he’s ready now?” Eddie asked curiously.

“Mhmm,” Steve hummed. “All his friends are going to be in the class with him, so he ready to hop in the pool with them.”

Eddie smiled. “That’s cute.”

That surprised a huff of laughter out him. “Sure is. But don’t tell him that. He’s at the age where cute is akin to baby and well...”

“He’s too old for that?” Eddie finished.

“Yeah.”

“I feel that,” Eddie agreed. “Have fun in your class, and remember you can always make it look like an accident.”

Steve laughed out right at that and waved goodbye. Eddie watched him go feeling better about the whole panic attack thing. Now all he had to do was make sure it never happened again. Or at least not by his own big fucking mouth.

~

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

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2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

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6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

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10- @aol19 @eriquin @tartarusknight @gloomysoup @morallyundefined

[bbagelbitch]

Assorted Nekoma headcanons: (just for funzies)

(they've been sitting in my archives for YEARS)

First years:

Lev actually managed to get a girlfriend at one point about halfway through first year, she asked him out because she thought he was cute, broke up with him a week and a half later after realizing he’s a dumbass and a bit of a weirdo

Shibuyama is one of those people who you’d think he’s just listening to Taylor swift or something but he unplugs his earbuds and its like- little darkie or some screamo heavy metal LMAO

Shibuyama has a helicopter mom which feeds his anxiety to the point that he carries pepper spray with him sometimes

Tamahiko has a pet tarantula

Inuoka is the kind of person who’d wear shorts when its snowing out

Inuoka and lev will both unironically do Fortnite dances during practice

Shibayama totally has a bunch of allergies and is a picky eater

Inuoka and lev are basically just human garbage disposals (will eat ANYTHING)

Lev can’t swim

Biblically accurate lev Haiba (gets the worlds WORST sunburns every time he goes outside)

Lev has low blood pressure and will randomly faint when standing up too fast (Kenma has the same problem but refuses to admit it)

Inuoka is one of those people who types in all caps the majority of the time. Every literature and language teacher he’s ever had has told him off for using way too many exclamation points. (He can’t help it he’s just a happy little dude)

Lev texts constant updates about what he’s doing t the team group chat to the point where he’s been kicked off of it more times than he can count. (Usually for talking about taking a shit) (see Charles Boyle from B-99 for reference)

Second years:

Fukunaga and Kenma rarely have actual text conversations but they’re constantly sending memes back and forth to each other

Tora actually has fairly curly hair and it was a borderline afro when he was in elementary school (he’s part latino in my mind argue with the wall)

Kenma listens to almost exclusively video game soundtracks (skyward sword is his favourite)

Tora totally listens to girypop rap (he is 100% a Flo milli Stan sorry)

Tora has asked kai for advice on how to talk to girls SEVERAL times and the information that you should just talk to them like they’re normal people blows his mind every time (how does kai do it? Is he a witch? A demon?

Fukunaga owns at least 3 cats and they all have weird names (inspired by my friend who’s cat’s name is Fax Machine)

Kenma is the world’s driest texter (canon actually)

Also fukunaga uses :3 constantly

Fukunaga and kenma constantly bully Tora about his obsession with looksmaxing and say shit like “he can’t talk he’s too busy mewing” LMFAO (you either drip or you drown taketora)

Tora knows how to braid hair cause he’d help akane with her hair when they were younger

All of the second years used to bite people when they were kids

Third years:

The third years have done group costumes for halloween since their first year

Kai is basically the team’s dedicated tutor (Kuroo is too snarky and yaku is too impatient)

Kuroo listens to western (English) music cause he thinks it makes him seem cool and he developed a superiority complex about it. “Oh you haven’t heard of Radiohead?”

Also kuroo and yaks have pretty similar music taste (a lot of modern rock) but the key difference is Kuroo likes arctic monkeys and yaku likes the strokes (they argue about which band is better constantly (yaku is right, its the strokes))(cause they always have to be arguing about something smh)

Kai also totally has a longtime girlfriend in high school bro is possibly the only person on the team who’s done ANYTHING with a girl (probably one of the only people on the whole damn SHOW)

Kai defo knows martial arts I would not want to face him in a fight

Kuroo still uses emoticons instead of emojis :3 ;D and whenever he does, yaku makes fun of him and tells him to “get with the times”

Yaku 100% repeats what Kuroo says in a mocking tone whenever the opportunity arises

Kai is the type of person to say “personality” when asked if he prefers tits or ass

Miscellaneous:

Nekoma is the most neurodivergent team in the whole show bruh like come on 

(autistic: Lev, Kenma, fukunaga.)(kenma totally also has ARFID)

(ADHD: Inuoka, Yamamoto, (both textbook cases of ADHD in guys) Kuroo, fukunaga) (Fukunaga my AuDHD king)

(OCD: Tamahiko, shibuyama (I just get vibes ok leave me alone) 

(Yaku isn’t neurodivergent he just has anger issues lmao) 

Kai is the only sane one on the entire team

Kuroo is also 100% one of those kids who got diagnosed with adhd really young so he appears mostly normal thanks to being medicated from the age of like- 6

Every single person on the team is oblivious as to when someone is flirting with them (kai is the exception)(girls pull out the wow your hands are so big and you’re so tall all the time and NOBODY reads into it)

Kai exclusively smells like a mix of vanilla and sandalwood and on the other side of that spectrum, Yamamoto reeks of axe body spray and b.o. No matter how many times Kenma tells him that axe actually drives girls away, Tora never listens.

Akane becomes manager of the boys volleyball team once she reaches high school (the first years will be third years by then)

The team all protective as HELL over akane (canon tbh)

[pinkthrone445]

Heyyy

I’d love a Mel x reader smut where they are enemies to lovers 🥺

Thank you for the request! I hope you like it cute Nonni <3 😊

🎄Happy holidays yall! Smutsanta it's bringing hot requests for naughty people and your names are on my naughty list! Enjoy!🎄

~The Schemmenti Sisters~

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender: Smut ⚠️

Warnlings : (+18) strong words, fingering, vulgar language.

Summary:You and Melissa didn't get along very well, you were friends with her sister which instantly made you her enemy, but PECSA weekend helped fix things.

PECSA week, One of the best weekends of the year, Newbies went for lectures, but you and your friend Marie went for the drinks, hot tubs, and free stuff. Even though you worked at a high-paying school, you weren't going to turn down free stuff and a relaxing weekend. Even though you were a relatively new teacher, Marie taught you that the best way to enjoy those lectures was to take advantage of everything you could, not to go to the lectures. That's how you arrived at the edge of a large swimming pool, sitting in a comfortable chair, a piña colada in one of your hands and your favorite book in the other. Marie was next to you, wearing sunglasses and taking the opportunity to get a tan.

Halfway through your book, your glass was already empty, so you got up to get a new drink, taking the opportunity to stretch your legs a little instead of calling the waiter. While waiting for your new drink, you noticed a woman sitting at the bar, a redhead with a beautiful body, wearing a beautiful bikini that hugged her in all the right places and a little transparent dress on top, you could tell she was a few years older but her body couldn't have been in better shape

-"Good morning, enjoying the pool?"-You asked to start a conversation with the beautiful woman. When she turned around, your smile changed to an annoyed grin at seeing who she was-"Schemmenti"-You said with annoyance in your voice, the redhead laughed when she saw you

-"Were you really about to flirt with me?"-She asked you with a mocking smile

-"I wasn't flirting with you" - you replied quickly

-"Please I know the hate that you normally use to speak to me and it wasn't present in your voice, tell me, didn't you realize it was me or did you finally decide to admit your feelings towards me now that my sister is not glued to your hip?"-The redhead laughed, mocking you with her thick accent, and you rolled your eyes

-"Shut up, if there's anyone who has feelings for the other, it's you. Do you think I can't see how you look at my body now that I'm wearing a bikini? Or how you were drooling looking at my ass now that I got to the pool with your sister?"-You answered, and the eldest frowned with her cheeks tinted red. While she was thinking of an answer, you grabbed her drink and took a sip since it was the same as what you had asked for, you smiled with satisfaction and took a few steps away from her with the drink in hand-"Since we have the same drink, I'll take yours and leave you waiting for mine while you think of a response to my comment" - you said going back to your seat and leaving the redhead there at the bar.

You and Melissa have known each other for a couple of years, from the moment you had met, the hurtful and sarcastic comments began. If Barbara was Melissa's work wife, you were her sister's work wife, and that meant being on her side when the two of them fought. Even though you and Melissa had no reason to fight, the fact that you were on her sister's side and working on a private school already put you against the redhead.

That same night, Marie came to your room to pick you up to go for drinks at the special teachers' dinner, your school had everything it needed, so instead of using that opportunity to talk to suppliers, you used it to have as many "matheritas" as possible. It wasn't very often that you could wake up hungover the next day, so you had to take advantage of the opportunity.

The night was young, the alcohol was strong, your dress tight and the music was just right. Everything was fine as it should be, until you returned to your table after looking for more drinks, and Melissa and Barbara were taking your seats while talking to a supplier who was your friend

-"I got our drinks!"-you said handing the drink to your other friend

-"Well, well, well..."-Marie spoke when she saw her sister sitting in your places. The redhead saw you and her sister and got up from the table and took her drink

-"Let's go, this table is busy" - she said before disappearing and taking Barbara with her, whom apologized before getting up.

After a while, Melissa and her friend returned to the table, Barbara immediately took a chair and slumped down very tired and with her feet sore

-"Sorry ladies, would it bother you if we sit with you again?" - The older one asked and your friend nodded her head

-"We would love for you to join us, as soon as Melissa admits that her bragioli is awful"-The blonde said, turning to look at her sister

-"Are you kidding me? I've seen you put regular bacon in your carbonara, you gagootz"-Melissa responded gesticulating a lot with her hands, making a lot of noise with her bracelets and her sister frowned

-"It was a delicious fusion dish!"-Your friend shouted and you laughed when you saw the embarrassed faces Barbara made as she listened to them, meanwhile you ate the snacks on the table watching the discussion as if it were a movie. While the two were arguing, a woman bumped into the blonde and slammed her back, causing the two sisters to team up to fight her. That's how finally, and in a bit of a strange way, the two of them made peace.

The rest of the night the four of you shared the table and a good round of drinks, you were sitting between the two Schemmentis, being very aware of how your knee brushed against the redhead's, or how her hand occasionally rested on your bare thigh every time someone made a joke and she laughed. When your drinks ran out and you got up to get more, the redhead went after you to accompany you using the excuse that you couldn't bring all the glasses alone. But halfway through, what you were going to do took a back seat when some people invited the two of you to a couple competition to see which group could drink the most matheritas.

Ever since Melissa had made up with her sister, her treatment for you changed as well. You felt like she was still aggressive and sarcastic, but with desire for you too, you didn't know if it was really happening or if you were imagining it because of how much you had taken that night.

When the last opponents arrived, Melissa lowered her glass in one gulp, but you were having a bit of a hard time, feeling that if you kept drinking, everything would come out again the same place it went in. The redhead's hands on your shoulders and her breath on your neck distracted you a bit, taking you away from the nauseas you were having

-"Come on hon, if you take this glass, we'll be undefeated champions, please do it for me... Do it for me and I'll let you look at my breasts when we're done, so you don't have to pretend you're not looking at my cleavage every time I turn to look at something else or every time I bend down in front of your face"-The redhead's voice almost made you choke, but with renewed desire and a new motivation, you finished the liquid that was left in your glass. Everyone around shouted in celebration and you got up a little dizzy from your seat, smiling when the redhead hugged you and held you, celebrating the victory with you.

Before you could register much more, the older one started pulling your arm guiding you through the crowd, at first you thought you would go back to the table, but you blushed to see that she locked you along with her in one of the bathrooms that was empty

-"What are you doing Schemmenti?-You asked, stumbling over your own words as you saw how the redhead opened her animal print dress more, generously letting you see her round and tasty breasts. Nervously you looked away to another part of the bathroom, but she grabbed your jaw and made you look into her eyes, unintentionaly, your gaze diverted to her lips and then to her cleavage, she laughed at the sight of you which made her breasts bounce slightly, making your mouth drool

-"I'm a woman who keeps her word, I told you what your reward would be and you delivered, it's my turn to pay you..."-she replied smiling and you licked your lips that suddenly felt dry

-"I thought it was a joke..."-you whispered suddenly shyly, having Melissa so close in such a small space, intimidated you

-"Joke or not, that definitely made you eager... Even in your eyes I could tell that you liked my idea, so stop being shy and take advantage of the opportunity before someone comes looking for us"-She responded with her thick accent and you finally looked at her breasts, the redhead straightened up to let them closer to your face, your hands trembling with the desire to touch them but you didn't know how far she would allow you to go. She took your hands herself and placed them on her breasts, making you squeeze them. A moan escaped from your mouth and hers, you wished to massage them and fill them with marks every inch and every day. Your breathing was ragged and you felt dizzy, wanting to take a step towards her you tripped and she grabbed your waist tightly, laughing. With great skill and speed, the redhead turned you around resting your front against the sink and your back against her crotch, her breasts felt soft against the skin of your back that was exposed thanks to the back neckline of the dress. With her nails she ran gently down your legs, making you tremble a little-"I've barely touched you and you're already clumsy for me... Tell me, all those times you answered me aggressively and fought me, it was because you were really on my sister's side or to test if I put you in your place? Brat..."-Hearing those words from her mouth made you moan again and move your hips over nothing. With one hand, Melissa grabbed your jaw making you look yourself in the mirror and see her too, with the other hand, she squeezed one of your breasts tightly, pinching your nipples through the fabric of your dress-"I asked you a question, it's rude not to answer... Were you never taught manners? Maybe you need to spend more time with me, I'd put you in your place and you'd be obeying every word I say just to please me..."-The redhead reached under your dress and brushed your crotch through your underwear-"Fuck... You ruined your panties... Answer or the next thing ruined will be you"-she bite your neck marking you lightly

-"I had to defend your sister, she's my friend... But I'm much more happy to be a brat just so you can put me in my place"-you replied between moans, seeing yourself in the reflection made you feel ashamed, but seeing the face of possession of the woman behind you, made you very wet. The redhead, happy with your answer, began to move your underwear to the side, with her thumb she parted your outer lips and with her ring finger she went all over your center collecting your juices. Your hips involuntarily began to move against her fingers, which she understood as a signal to start pressing and playing with your clit. Even though you did your best to keep quiet, you were failing miserably, so the woman took your face with her free hand, making you turn your head to one side so she can connect her lips with yours to keep you quiet. While her fingers were doing magic, her mouth took you to another level, her soft and delicate lips kissing you in such a profane and dirty way, her tongue expertly finding its way into your mouth as if she had already kissed you a thousand times and knew what you liked.

You felt like it was just another one of your fantasies where the redhead was mercilessly fucking you in every corner she found you, but the way her fingers were touching you was too real to be a dream. Melissa inserted two of her fingers into you quite easily because of how wet you were. Still kissing you, she started pumping them inside you while her thumb played with your clit. Your walls began to imprison her fingers, but she only pumped them harder. When she noticed that you were close, she bent you a little over tha sink,then she bent her fingers, spread them apart, and played inside you very skillfully, making you come over her fingers and moaning on her lips. Your body relaxed against her, still spasming and already out of breath, you parted your lips from her and leaned against her body, trying to recover. After a few more seconds of pumping, the redhead pulled her fingers out of you and put them in your mouth for you to lick and clean, smiling as she watched through the mirror how, still lost, you sucked her fingers as if your life depended on it. The woman carefully turned you over and gave you one last kiss, moaning as she felt your taste on her lips. She quietly arranged her clothes and yours to look more presentable and not like you had just fucked in a bathroom. She smiled and unlocked the door, she was about to leave when you grabbed her hand, she turned and looked at you curiously

-"Stay, I want to taste you too..."-You begged still agitated and she laughed

-"You can barely breathe hon... You'd better get your breath back and we'll do it another time, because if we don't get back to the table soon, my sister and Barbara will come out looking for us, and my sister will be mad at me again when she sees that I fucked her best friend in a bathroom... And I don't want to fight her because that's going to mean not seeing you again..."-she whispered before kissing your forehead and leaving the bathroom, leaving you there to catch your breath.

The rest of PECSA's remaining time went by normally, as if nothing had happened, except for the discreet glances and touches between you and Melissa.

-Two Weeks Later-

When the last of the children left the classroom, you grabbed your bag ready to leave, but were surprised to see a redhead leaning against the door of your classroom

-"Schemmenti... What are you doing here?" - You asked and she smiled

-"I came to visit my sister..."-She replied simply

-"Well...Her classroom it is the next one, not here..."-You replied a little disappointed, you would be lying if you said that since she had touched you, you hadn't thought of her again eating you out or you licking her pussy. Nights went by begging for her to call you or something, all you wanted was for it to happen again, to be with her again. But she didn´t .

-"I know where her classroom is, but I also came to see my favorite girl at this school and that's not her... It's you... Since you're about to leave, do you want to go eat something at my house?"-The redhead offered and you nodded excitedly closing your classroom to go with her.

[k-dokja]

welcome back, I was very glad to see your post about you starting to write again. if you continue to write for Taehoon, can you please have a one shot about how he confessed his love to the reader in your storyline

I'll be honest I don't remember much of it so...

You don't think anyone would enjoy the rain if they had to go home under its heavy beating every day. Then again, it would only take a day for you to grow sick of the rain since it's keeping you from going home. The one day you forgot to bring your umbrella, raindrops pour down on the streets with an intensity that subtracts your soul from your body.

Your mind is lost to inane thoughts about what you should do this evening as you're stuck waiting for the downpour to stop. Maybe you should call your family and see if anyone can pick you up, going home in a car would be better than whatever this is. No rainwater to soak your socks or chilling cold that stings your skin.

Then again, you are in no hurry to go home and the rain is a perfect excuse for it.

Life has been normal since Dowoon's passing. You wonder if it's insensitive for you to make that assessment since you haven't been close to him. Not in the way Taehoon was. But he was gone and life moved on, you couldn't sink when a lot is depending on you to keep swimming.

Even Taehoon, to his credit, has begun to talk to people again. Always in that condescending and holier-than-thou attitude that he used to have before everything, but you notice his edges are worn and his eyes are tired. You never push him to talk about it, and he never wants to share. It's better that way.

He has been walking with you home from school since you began high school. You don't think he has any good excuse for it, his school is in the opposite direction. He always shows up without informing you beforehand. But you never once brought up any complaint or turned him down, figuring it was how he coped with his thoughts and impulses. He had a lot of them when Dowoon died the way he did.

You don't expect him to come on a day like this though. It has been raining a lot since June began and you expect it to stay this dreary until the semester ends. With the growing frequency of it, you should've brought an umbrella with you. But you didn't, you don't know why. Your friends even offered to share their umbrellas with you until the bus stop, but you turned them down.

But you refused all rational options, opting to wait for someone who you didn't know would be coming. You couldn't bear the thought of him running through that rain only to find you already gone home. It'd be tragic, you think, he has enough tragedies for the moment.

You thought about calling home again as the crowd surrounding you thinned out, people scattering into the rain as their friends and families came for them. You should've brought an umbrella, but forgetting it gives you an excuse to linger. And the longer you wait, the more futile you feel the whole situation is.

A sigh of resignation escapes your lips as you pull out your phone, preparing to ask your parents to come pick you up. But you hesitate at the last moment, spotting a familiar figure blurring through the rain. His shirt and pants are soaked, and his breath is ragged with every step. You wonder how far and how hard he has run to get here.

His umbrella is large and new but somehow useless. He might've run to buy it while you wait, forgetting to bring an umbrella when the rainy season begins. "You didn't have to come," you tell Taehoon when he steps up to you, slightly out of breath.

"You were waiting," he says matter-of-factly, taking a few moments to slow his system down before glancing at you again.

"You couldn't have known that," you point out. Neither of you made any plan or promises beforehand, you could've gone home ahead of him and it wouldn't have been any fault of yours.

"You would've told me if you did," he counters, putting the umbrella over your head. Coming from Taehoon, it is an invitation.

Naturally, you accept it.

The rain continues to pour as he walks you home, the road is somehow longer now under this moody weather. He throws the stupid coat he got recently on your shoulder, not even asking if you are cold before he does it. You guess the shiver you've made gave it away. Briefly, you wonder if you can ask him to give you his pants.

"You don't have to come if it keeps raining," it is the first time you've talked to Taehoon about this new habit. "I know you walk a long way back."

"I want to," he shrugs, "nobody's forcing me to do this."

"Still..." you chew down on your lower lip, "I'm sure you have better things to do than doing this. You're training for Max FC, too, you should be mindful of your health."

Taehoon snorts, "Stop worrying about me, I'm made of tougher stuff," he huffs at you, "you, meanwhile, look like you're going to fall over if the wind blows at you too hard."

"I do not," you roll your eyes at him, crossing your arms in defiance, "I haven't finished my growth spurt, that's all. Once I do, I'll be even bigger and stronger than you."

That's definitely a lie. You haven't gained another centimetre since your middle school year and you have resigned to asking him for things in high places a few months ago. Taehoon knows that, too.

"Whatever you say," he smirks, nudging your side with his elbow. That alone makes you stagger. You glare up at him, and that earns you his fabled malicious grin, one you haven't seen for a while now, really. For how annoying he is at this moment, you can't deny that he looks good when he smiles. Insufferably smug, yes, but it's undeniable that he's handsome.

Not that it has ever been a point of consideration for you. After all, you are perfectly happy being here as his friend and nothing would ever change that—

"Go out with me."

You trip over nothing when you hear those words, only saved from a humiliating landing on the wet ground thanks to his quick reflexes. After you recover, you look back up at him to confirm if you've heard wrong. "What?"

"Seriously?" Taehoon snickers as he helps you straighten up. "Go out with me, I mean it."

Outside of this umbrella, the rain beats down on the ground with a thunderous roar. But here, next to him, everything is quiet except for the sounds of your breathing. "...What."

Taehoon rolls his eyes, continuing to walk on and forcing you to scramble after him to stay dry. "Just say no if you don't want to, I'm not going to hold it against you."

"I mean, wait, can I at least process this first?" You smack his shoulder, a little bit miffed by his actions. "You spring that on me out of nowhere!"

Taehoon shrugs in front of your outrage, nonchalant to the mess of his own doing. "If you like me back, it wouldn't be a struggle to say yes."

"It's a struggle because I never thought about this before," you pout at him, but the hastening pace of your walk is making it hard for you to put your thoughts into place, "can you slow down for a moment so we can talk this through?"

You do not expect him to abruptly. Again, you almost trip on air at his sudden movements. Taehoon manages to catch you by the shoulder before you fumble and you use the opportunity to glare at him again. "You're insufferable."

"Is that your 'no'?" He smirks and you have to roll your eyes at him.

"No!" You smack his chest, payback for his mean-spirited teasing, "Just give me one second to think this through."

Hundreds of thoughts cross your mind as Taehoon peers down at you, patiently holding his tongue until you manage to put together a coherent response. Unfortunately for you, none of those thoughts sticks and you utter something vaguely intelligent. "Why?"

"Why not?" He retorts. "Do you have any reason why I shouldn't like you?"

You open your mouth, then close it, then open your mouth again. He's correct on this account, frankly speaking. If anything, he's the one with more reason why you shouldn't like him. Guess that explains his eagerness to get your answer, even if it's a rejection.

"Thought so," he shrugs, "Well?"

He's trying to be nonchalant, but the tension in his shoulder reminds you of when he's bracing for the impact of a hit. Whatever your feeling is, you don't know if you have the heart to turn him down. "I... uh, I guess...?"

"You guess?" He echoes.

"I mean..." You swallow, fiddling with the strap of your backpack before turning indignant. "Can we at least figure out a date first then talk properly about this? We're standing in the middle of the rain! It's cold and wet and miserable! What possessed you to confess at a time like this?!"

Taehoon can't help but smile a little at your impromptu rant, "So you do want to go out then?" He prods, leaning closer to you.

You make a noncommittal noise in response, but it only causes him to close the distance further. "C'mon, say it or I'm leaving you here." Taehoon teases and for once, you feel something other than the cold biting at you. The heat on your cheeks makes you lean back a little, hoping to keep the embarrassment down.

"Don't blackmail me," you mutter, "you'll get a proper answer when you do this properly."

"Fine," Taehoon drawls but his concession gives you the necessary space to breathe when he pulls back. "A date then, this weekend? Now?"

"Now?" You give him a look.

Taehoon glances away, looking off to the distance, "There's a nice noodle place nearby, we can take shelter there until the rain is over."

As you mull the idea over, you purse your lips before finally resigning. "All right, I guess it can't hurt." You bump into his side, a frown set on your brows. "Can't believe you, just dumping that on me."

He laughs, and the sound strangely warms you, "I thought rain is supposed to be romantic?"

"As if!"

Still, even if you're cold and your socks are wet, somehow, the rain doesn't feel as intolerable as before.

[avonne-writes]

re: high school au after gale kinda moves in with them is there ever a time where geogia (or chick, but i feel like they know that might scare him so delegate it to her) has to really /parent/ bc he steps out of line/doing something he maybeee shouldn't have etc?

Interesting question!

Yes, actually! But perhaps not in the way you'd expect. He never steps out of line, creates messes or talks back. He’s always conscious of the fact that he’s not actually a relative, no matter how they try to make him more comfortable. He can’t wait to leave for college and be independent, because then he won't have to think about that anymore.

But this doesn’t mean that he never has any conflicts with Georgia. I think there's one thing that leads to arguments between them: Gale disappearing for hours at a time, sometimes very late in the evening, without telling anyone about it.

The issue comes from the fact that he's not used to anyone at home caring about where he goes and what he does after school. Of course, he spends a lot of time with Bucky and also with swimming. But before he moved in, he used to have some time during the week when no one paid attention to him. Since he didn’t like staying home that much, he often went out and spent time in random parks, public libraries etc. or simply stayed at the swimming pool, sitting on the bleachers and being soothed by the sounds of other people training. Then he went home late.

It has become a comfort.

So, he continues this habit even after he moves in. And you can imagine how well that goes. Gale, who almost jumped off a bridge a few weeks before and had to be moved out of his parents' house, doesn’t come home when everyone else expects him to.

They try to call him, text him, but for some reason (doesn’t hear it / phone dead), he doesn’t pick up. Everyone is worried sick but doesn’t dare say what they're thinking. Georgia calls Chick, who starts checking the bridges. Then, as if nothing was amiss, Gale comes home. He’s taken aback by how worried they all are and gets defensive. Chick gets there too and instinctively, as the worry rushes out of him, he starts scolding Gale. This, like you said, scares Gale, but his alarm reaction is fighting back. So he starts throwing in things he doesn’t mean, like "so what if I wanted to do that [SA]? What does it matter to you?"

Georgia asks Chick to leave the room because she realizes that it's not helping. Gale feels like he’s caged, but Georgia changes her tone to something gentler. Gale feels really bad and just wants to get out of the conversation. He’s also hyperaware of Bucky being very quiet. Georgia explains why they were worried and asks him to let them know where he is next time. He just nods, but fully intends to just run away next time.

Chick comes back and talks to him more gently, to which Gale reacts impassively. At this point, he nods to anything they say because he wants to get away. Once they let him leave the room, he goes upstairs and locks himself in his bedroom. He hears Bucky try the handle but then walk away when he can’t open the door. Gale is sad about that at first, but then, chat messages start popping up on his phone. From one bedroom away, Bucky starts texting him like he used to before Gale moved in.

In another post, I already mentioned that Gale finds it easier to talk about his feelings like that. It helps this time as well. Bucky comforts him, then Gale sends him a love letter-like affectionate text. Bucky tries to enter the room again, and Gale lets him in this time. They make out (and touch each other) in Gale's bed very quietly and sleep there together.

Everything goes back to the new normal the next day, but it takes a while before Gale tells them (without prompting) where he is when he disappears. The next few times, they still have to call or text him, and Georgia has to talk to him about it a few more times. But at least he picks up.

[trampled-and-melting]

Juvenile Delinquency

prompt: gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss

Summary: Annie and her friends do some light trespassing on government property. In their defense, it has a really nice beach. (2k words)

ao3

-

It’s the off-season anyway. 

It’s December. No one travels to District Four in December. 

This is what Annie tells herself, as she slips out of her bedroom window to join her friends. No one will be there. No one uses that beach in December. It’s empty half the year. 

There’s a giddy fear building in her, but she does her best to grind it down under her heel. She’s officially old enough for the reaping this year, after all, which means she’s in the home stretch before she can volunteer. She shouldn’t be afraid of things like this. 

The night is cool, with a slight breeze. She lands lightly in a crouch and runs down to the street, where a small cluster of people is anxiously waiting. 

“You guys could at least stand away from the streetlights,” she whispers as she joins them.

“Please, like anyone’s awake,” says Naia. 

They’re all present and accounted for—all of the usual group, anyway. Naia, Gwen, Gwen’s brother Jason, and Zale. Annie was their last stop, since her house is the last one along their route.

They walk quietly, sticking close together, no one talking. They’d be in trouble if they were caught, they all know that. Though Annie thinks, personally, that this sort of behavior should be encouraged among Career trainees. Are they not, after all, demonstrating courage, resourcefulness, tenacity? Are they not acclimating themselves to danger, playing a game with real consequences, as they’re meant to?

Still, adults insist on laws and time and place. No matter. You can really do whatever you want, provided you don’t get caught. 

It’s several miles to where they’re going, towards the beach and then parallel. 

There are the poorer neighborhoods, the ones that smell like dead fish all the time, which is where some of her friends came from. And then there’s Annie’s area, which is adjacent to Victor’s Village, and then there’s town—everyone just calls it town. With the shops, the apothecary, the bakery, the square. Further on, they pass the school. Everything is dark and quiet, save the occasional pools of yellow light from the streetlights. 

After the school, and a little ways further, there’s the hotel.

It calls itself a resort—that’s what the sign says, anyway. And maybe it is. Annie isn’t actually certain of the distinction. 

It’s so huge and sprawling, a person can’t actually look at the whole thing at once, and tiered, like a wedding cake. Terrace gardens, balconies, a swimming pool high up on a ledge, so it can overlook the ocean—ironic, if you think about it. Hanging plants and umbrellas and lounge chairs. There’s a courtyard on one side, Annie thinks, based on the way the walls curve downwards in a suggestion of a half-moon, but she can’t actually see it. 

Capitol citizens stay there, in the summer months. Sometimes in the spring, if it’s a warm one. They go into town, too. The cute part. The bakery, the clothing stores, the sweet shop. District Four is known for its handmade jewelry. They don’t seem to have much interest in the actual industry, though. She’s never seen them deeper in than the square, and certainly not on any of the normal beaches. Not that she can blame them. Some fisherman’s kids love to wax poetical about open water and a good day’s work, but Annie has never much seen the appeal of fish guts. 

This place is, technically, forbidden to all District Four residents who don’t work here. 

But it’s also one of the only nice beaches in town.

It’s fenced in, of course, to keep out the riff raff, but not topped with barbed wire—which is how you can tell that this is a “don’t do it again” sort of forbidden, or maybe at worst a “ten lashes in the square” sort, but not a “firing squad” sort.

None of them have ever actually been whipped before, there hasn’t been a whipping in District Four since before they were born, but Annie suspects that any one of them would bear it as a mark of pride, if they got through it with dignity.

The fence itself should be no problem, but it’s set on a concrete base which is a little tall for them, so Annie drops to her knees in front of it and makes a sling out of her hands, allowing each of her friends in turn to step up and hop to grab onto the chain link. 

With all of them safely on the other side, Annie takes a few steps back, considers her angle, and jumps for it. She scrapes her ribs badly on the edge of the concrete, she can feel the bright stinging of raw skin rubbing against it, and she has to grit her teeth fast and hard to avoid crying out, but her fingers gain purchase on the lower links, and her shoes scramble for friction on the wall as she pulls herself up, all of this executed under the watchful gazes of the others. They’re not quite brave enough to speak yet, but she can feel their doubts as keenly as if they had voiced them.

It’s scrabbling and awkward, but she makes it onto the fence, up, and over.

And when she drops down, she lands on sand.

They keep going.

There’s a cliff face providing a natural barrier around one side of the beach, and the sand is soft, and there’s no need to watch your step—they leave their shoes in a pile a little ways up the beach—because there’s no broken glass or discarded fishing equipment. The moon is round and bright.

The water is freezing, of course, but that’s not going to stop any of them. They’re not chickens. They run straight into the cold, lapping surf. 

Annie wades up to her chest, knowing that saline is a natural disinfectant and not wanting to let her friends know that she hurt herself. Her lungs are full of ice, but it’s an oddly purifying sensation. 

Gwen darts past her, shouting, “Race you to the cliffs!” and Annie dives after her. 

Gwen is fast, and she’s got a head start, but Annie gains on her. She’s not used to swimming in the freezing cold, and it feels heavier than it does in warm water, but she overtakes her with barely five yards left to go.

She’s shivering. Her lungs are on fire. She’s certain her face is bright red. But she feels real and alive in a way she rarely does. 

Though maybe that’s the winning.

“Race you back!” she shouts as she dives again, and the last thing she hears before her head goes under is, “Hey, no fair!”

This is gratifying. That it’s fair when other people do it, but not when Annie does it. 

They stay as long as they can. Annie gets into two more races—one with Naia, the other with Jason—and wins both, and a splash fight with Zale, which she loses. By that time they’re all pale-lipped and trembling, but none of them really wants to stop.

And then, like all good things, an adult appears to ruin it for them.

There’s a shout from up the beach. “Hey!”

Zale startles badly. Annie abruptly finds her feet, standing up in the water. Naia, like a flinch, covers up the heart she was doodling in the sand. As if that’ll do anything. They’ve all been caught red-handed. 

And now it’s time to be yelled at. Or dragged home to their parents and forced to explain themselves. Or flogged.

The peacekeepers are far up the beach. A few hundred yards away. Sand is difficult to walk on. Even more difficult to run on. Annie has been running on sand since she was two years old. Peacekeepers are never from District Four, they’re sent from elsewhere. All of these facts flash through her mind in succession.

Annie grabs the person closest to her, Zale, leans in, and breathes, “Run.”

He looks at her. She nods. He makes a break for it. 

Once he’s out of the water and on sand, the others catch on, and they follow on his heels back to where they came from. Annie pulls up the rear. At the base of the fence, she throws herself down and offers each of them a leg up, just like the first time. The peacekeepers aren’t fast on sand, she was right, their boots are far too bulky, but that fact can only buy so much time. Jason puts his foot in her hand, hops to grab the fence, starts climbing. He’s the last one. Annie moves to jump for it again, not honestly caring if she breaks a rib this time, when one of the peacekeepers grabs her. 

The others are already running, already disappearing into the dark. Good. 

Annie turns to face the peacekeepers, more than a little terrified, but with her chin up. 

“This beach is Capitol property,” says the one closest to her. He sounds a little winded. “You kids aren’t supposed to be here. You know that?”

To lie or not to lie? If she says yes, then she’s admitted to knowingly breaking the law. If she says no, then she looks like an idiot for hopping a fence and not assuming someone wanted her kept out. “I’m sorry,” she says instead. “I assumed it would be alright, since no one uses it this time of year.”

“Uh-huh. That’s a flogging offence, you know.”

“I didn’t know that.” Not really.

His frown deepens. “What’s your name, kid?”

“Annie Cresta.”

“Cresta? Like–”

“Yeah. My dad.” Her dad, who does—something important. Something that makes a lot of people hate her. He oversees a lot of the district’s industry, she thinks, and takes a lot of business trips to the Capitol. People know the name, and they always feel the need to react to it. Even some people at school will only call her the Cresta Girl.

It occurs to her that this might be useful. “And I doubt my dad would be happy to find out I was out alone after dark.”

“Your problem, kid, not mine.”

“Your problem and mine, I think. I mean, imagine: his daughter sneaks out, you fail to catch her, she gets into all kinds of stupid trouble—” That’s what her dad calls it. Stupid trouble. He tends to assume that she does these things because she is, deep down, secretly an idiot, which is annoying but comes with a certain degree of leniency—”and then you flog her. For something that happened because of your failure to do your job. I was out here for almost an hour. What would your superiors think of how long it took you to notice?”

She’s talking entirely out of her ass. The peacekeepers all share a look, and then the apparent leader rolls his eyes. “Who were your friends?”

“What friends? I’m alone.”

He looks almost amused at that. “Figures. Come on, kid, I’ll walk you home.”

He takes her out through a gate and walks with her silently back to her house. It’s not until they’re about halfway there that Annie realizes they all abandoned their shoes, and she’s padding barefoot through the streets of District Four. 

He seems to know exactly where they’re going, though that’s not surprising. Most people do. The peacekeepers had to round up a group of angry dock workers who congregated on the front lawn a few years ago. 

There’s no sign of any of her friends, as far as she can see. The streets are quiet, and the only moving shadows are stray cats and tree branches. They’ve probably all made it most of the way home by now, but she tries to walk as loudly as she can, in case one of them needs to duck into a shadow or something.

When the two of them arrive at her front door, the peacekeeper says, “Look, I’m letting you off with a warning this once, but if I catch you out after dark again, especially in a restricted area, it’s twelve lashes in the square. Understood?”

“Understood,” says Annie.

“Good. May we never see each other again, Miss Cresta.”

Annie smiles as she slips back inside, closing the door quietly behind her. No, he certainly won’t be seeing her again.

[sixty-silver-wishes]

sometimes I think about the house my grandma raised my mother and uncle in, that my grandfather lived in before he died, that my sister and my parents and I would all come over to for holidays. when my sister and I were little, we loved watching Disney and Nickelodeon on my grandma’s TV because all we could get at home was PBS for the longest time. she had an old antique piano that was out of tune, and when I started learning to play the piano in middle school, I would go plink out “Legend of Zelda” songs on it and think about how I was playing songs much, much younger than that 100-year-old piano. and we tried to plant a garden in her backyard, but it got overgrown with weeds. and one day we found tadpoles in the birdbath, and she let us take some home so we could watch them grow into frogs. my grandfather had an old green easy chair he was always sitting in, and two toes that crossed over each other and wouldn’t sit normally. I liked to watch nature documentaries with him. right before he died, we would talk about world history because he was very interested in it, and I was just beginning to be. there was a painting of my mother when she was a child on the wall of one of the bedrooms, and I would always stare at it because it looked exactly like my older sister. my grandmother had an outdoor swimming pool where we would sit by as we watched my uncle launch Fourth of July fireworks, but when I got older and wasn’t interested in fireworks anymore, or the United States had made me too disillusioned with the Fourth of July for me to watch fireworks, I sat inside with my aunt and the dogs to keep them company. there was a big tree in the yard I loved to climb, and when I was in middle or high school, I would take my instruments up there to play them while sitting in a tree, just because playing instruments in a tree sounded like a magical thing to do. my grandmother had a pantry full of snacks just for my sister and I- Scooby Doo fruit snacks with the light blue one still in there and Saltine crackers, and a fridge full of sodas and sparkling water in the garage. she had a sewing room where she would teach us to make blankets and pillowcases with the fabric we picked out, and when my sister got older, she taught her to make vintage style dresses. she had a bedroom full of antiques belonging to our great-grandmother whom I had never met, and it somehow felt like the most familiar and most distant place in the world to me.

but then her dog died, and her old cockatiel died too, and one of our cats died. and over time we buried all the animals under one of the trees in her backyard- one I used to climb, but not as much as the other tree because it was so skinny. when my grandfather died when I was in high school, he was buried in a military cemetery where all you can leave are cut flowers and US flags, and my grandma got a certificate from the government after he died with Donald Trump’s signature printed on it because he was president then, and she always says it’s the ugliest signature she’s ever seen. his funeral was the very first time I saw a coffin. the old piano was beyond repair, so they took out all the musical bits and turned it into a desk that sits in our living room. the white paint covering the wood, its musical guts removed, the silence of the out-of-tune ancient keys that are no longer there makes it sound more like taxidermy than a piano. it plays john cage’s 4’33 in fortissimo whenever I pass it.

when my grandmother went to live in an assisted living community, she sold the house. she’s doing well now. she likes the place she lives in, she invites us over for holidays, she keeps active. but the house was completely remodeled and painted over. she said the tree I loved to climb in, the one my uncle climbed in when he was a kid, was chopped down. she says the house doesn’t look like it used to anymore. it’s unrecognizable. I could drive past it and never know. I probably have.

I wonder if the people who live there now know that in the big backyard that generations of people loved, no matter how much they’ve altered the house, there are the bones of two dogs and a cat and a cockatiel deep under the ground.

I wonder if they haunt it.

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

"I'm so glad you could make it, Lauren. It feels like it's been forever since I've seen you."

The youngest Durant sibling smiled at her sister. "College has been intense. I mean, I'm still in my first year, but with exams coming up, everyone is going a little crazy."

"That's how I remember it. I thought Nathan was going to burn down the student union building one exam period. I mean, he didn't even end up writing the exam, but he still went crazy with the rest of us."

"I'm so glad you met Trent," Lauren replied, looking over her shoulder in case Nathan suddenly showed up. She wouldn't put it past him. "Nathan creeps me out. There's something not right about him."

Cindra laughed, despite her sister's worry.

"Nathan likes people to think he's dangerous and scary, but he's a sweetheart deep down. Very deep down. Don't worry about him. He's harmless."

Lauren gave her sister a skeptical look but didn't push the subject. Let Cindra have her creepy crush. Lauren wouldn't be caught dead anywhere near Nathan Helios.

Everard and Luci tossed a baseball back and forth to warm up. They were about to start the official Siew family games and baseball was the first event. Luci was naturally athletic and had no doubts of her ability to lead her team to victory. Her little brother on the other hand....

At least Everard was trying to practice. Etienne was about to go swimming in the pool, and Fiolett was working on a drawing she refused to abandon. Who knew what Rien was up to? Luci had learned long ago not to count on her twin sister to do anything with her. If she had to guess, Rien was probably off talking with Adam about weird ghost sightings or something crazy like that. Ever since Theo had been sent away to school, Rien had been speaking to Adam an awful lot. Luci would normally assume that this meant that her sister had a crush on Theo's boyfriend, but this was Rien they were talking about. She was probably just telling him that he was being haunted by spirits.

"Rien? Honey, I thought you were playing baseball with your brother and sister? Did they finish playing already?"

Adrian approached his daughter reluctantly. It was obvious that Rien had no intention of playing with her siblings or being social. At least this time, she wasn't alone. Adrian had nearly tripped over Travis Maricourt scribbling furiously in a book by the hot tub, completely disengaged with the barbecue.

"I'm sorry, Dad, but I'm needed elsewhere," Rien replied cryptically. "Baseball seemed like a waste of time, considering how little of it is left."

"Uh...huh. Well, where are you needed? I can help you and then you can go play with the other kids here. I saw Travis Maricourt writing over by the hot tub, maybe you two could play alone together."

"Thanks for the offer, but it's not me who needs to socialize. You need to talk to people at the party," Rien insisted. "Hang around Queen Maura to help her. You'll know what to do when the time comes. I have my own role to play. Have you seen Princess Georgiana?"

"Are you going to play with Her Highness, or continue your cryptic riddles with her?" Adrian asked wearily, already knowing the answer. "Please don't say anything that would scare the princess. She's younger than you and scares easily."

"I'll play nicely, Daddy. I promise."

Adrian tried not to wither at the glare his daughter was giving him. Of course, she'd inherited Roman's patented stare, the same as Theo. Whenever the kids were angry, it was like being surrounded by little Roman clones. Thank god that most of them seemed incapable of scowling like their father, aside from Theo.

"Rien, you know that I love you very much," Adrian tried. "Go play with the princess and have fun. Maybe you and I could play cards with your siblings later. That would be fun, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, Daddy. That sounds like fun."

The tone of her voice very clearly conveyed that playing cards would be the worst thing that could happen to her, despite her ominous words. Adrian bit his cheek to keep from groaning or reprimanding his daughter for lying. There wasn't a parenting book out there that could help him parent Adrienne.

"I'll see you soon," Rien declared suddenly, wrapping her arms around her baffled father. "Remember, hang around the queen. There's a collection of heirloom swords in the second bedroom upstairs. Do you remember how to use them?"

"Yes, I remember how to use many weapons. I studied all of that in military school. How the hell do you know about a collection of swords? Have you been playing with them? You're too young to-"

Rien let go of her father and gave him a sad look. Her eyes didn't look like she was twelve. They held secrets and sorrows well beyond her years in a way that Adrian would never understand. He'd never met Roman's grandparents, but Roman often mentioned how similar Rien sometimes looked to his grandmother. Whoever she looked like, there were times that Adrian stared at his daughter and didn't recognize who stared back.

"Remember, the queen needs you," Rien said again, skipping off to find Georgiana. As usual, Adrian made a mental note of this behaviour to address with Roman and despite his skeptical nature, went in search of Queen Maura.

"I heard there was a barbecue here, but I don't smell anything cooking. Don't tell me that I missed Dad's famous burgers."

"Oliver! You made it! I thought you had exams to study for." Claudia ran to embrace her little brother, excited that he'd actually kept his promise and came to the family gathering.

"Yeah, well, we're not all monarchs wealthy beyond imagining," Oliver laughed. "I'm a poor college student. An offer of free food doesn't come along very often."

"Oh, you're impossible!" Claudia teased, tickling her brother like they were still children. "A poor college student whose tuition is covered by his very rich sister, along with a generous fund for personal expenses."

"Well, I still eat a fair amount of ramen regardless. I won't let your money take away from the college experience."

"Well, maybe I'll withdraw my tuition support next semester if that's how you feel," Claudia laughed. "Then you won't have to fake the 'authentic' experience."

"Ah, who can say what's authentic?" Oliver replied, his eyes dancing with amusement. "Maybe I'll accept your charity for a few more years after all."

This was a dance Claudia and Oliver performed seamlessly over the years. She'd offer whatever Oliver could possibly need in life and he'd playfully decline, only to accept it moments later. He'd been too young to understand his sister's change in rank when she took the throne, but he'd never been jealous of her. She was the queen and he was free to live as he chose. Claudia had frequently offered her brother a royal title and estate of his own, but Oliver had turned her down every time. Apparently, the monarchy was a "Claudia and Dad" project, while the "Oliver, Travis, and Mom" project was perfectly content away from the throne.

"Speaking of charity, where are the hamburgers I was promised? I'm wasting away here."

Claudia rolled her eyes.

"Blame Dad. He was supposed to be here to barbecue after work, but I guess he got busy. You know how obsessive he is about grilling things. God forbid someone other than him gets to touch the grill so we can eat."

"Well, where's Uncle Travis? I've seen Dad let him grill before and I'm starving. Let's just start grilling and apologize later. He can't be mad when we've waited this long."

Ewan Traver watched as his uncle, Ewan Goldman, arrived in a shower of sparkling light just in front of the front entrance of the cottage. It was a relief to see him, especially since Ewan's own son, Oliver, was currently leading a rebellion among the family to replace his father with anyone else who knew how to use a grill. The family was currently split between honouring the original plan and replacing Ewan with his reluctant brother, Travis.

"Uncle Ewan! Finally! Everyone's been going feral waiting for food. You're late."

"Uncle Ewan?"

Ewan Goldman made no attempts to respond to his nephew. Instead, he stared at the ground, unable to meet the younger Ewan's eyes. A shiver ran down Ewan Traver's spine. Something was wrong here. Dangerously wrong. This intuition was confirmed when dark, glossy wings emerged from his uncle's back, wrapping around a body that had gone from looking normal and healthy to a sickly hue that radiated an unnatural cold that Ewan could feel from several feet away. When his uncle spoke, it wasn't his usual cheerful voice, but one that sounded hollow and deadly.

“I’m not here to join in the festivities. Unfortunately, I’m here for work. I’m so sorry.”

[givethemsmut]

The Pack | Chapter Eight

“Her mom use to swim when she got sick. She swore by it. Every time she’s not feeling right, she swims.” Alex didn’t ever whisper and I was close enough to still hear every word.

“What about that guy?”

Dylan heard Posey’s question and sat down to listen cracking open another beer.

She told them, “They grew up together. Everyone thought they were together. Would end up married or whatever. That just never changed how she felt about sex… he was the perfect boyfriend in public but in private he was fucking everything that had two legs. We were all acting up and she was saying no to drugs, sex and a good time. It was complicated.”

Dylan was annoyed with the same info, “Complicated like how?”

Alex sat up, “She loved him but she led him on. Do you want the dirty details?”

“Yeah, I do actually. You don’t date someone you’re whole life and say no to sex.” Dylan wanted the truth to be ugly.

“Everything but pussy. You’d be surprised how long someone will hold on to the hope of scoring her. Now you get why he was so pissed off.”

I did lead him on.

We took advantage of each other.

Alex went on to explain the Big Bear ski trip his senior year and I got lost in my own memories…

In school, the two years we had high school at the same time, he’d use me as a pretend girlfriend and behind closed doors I would get to experience sex without sex. I remember one year our school did a field trip to Big Bear for Seniors, Juniors and Sophomores only. It was his last year of high school and he was already crowned king of senior year. Everyone treated us like the world’s best couple as soon as people found out I knew him pretty much since birth.

We weren’t suppose to have a room together but the senior boys had their way around the facility and I was put in the same room as Brody. At this point in our relationship we had showered together and had been fooling around since I was a Freshman. We never discussed dating or even loving each other romantically but we did immediately start fooling around because we thought that’s what you do at that age.

Up until then I was able to play pretend, let people assume, be the perfect girlfriend for everyone around us. In the privacy of my room we knew the truth. The lines were clear until now. I was so nervous and I didn’t want to blend two worlds nor let anyone else notice. All day I had to hear about the way people thought we were perfect and so cute together. I was ready for a break from the world. The first night of the trip

Brody and I went to the hot tub after hours. It finally felt normal to talk, the closeness without being forced and without people watching our every move.

I was comfortable with Brody, I took my bikini top off and his hands guided me onto his lap. We fell right into our private world that was just ours and quickly explored each other. He picked me up quickly switching positions as my arms held onto his neck. Our tongues twisted together as I felt him pull down my bottoms and pluck them out of the water. Brody had touched every inch of me before.

I whispered against his neck as he kissed mine, “Slow down.” He had been hearing this from me since we started fooling around. I could fool around but giving him my virginity was a whole new game. He was breathing heavy as his hands grasped my hips and teased my legs.

He whispered to me, “We’re on the big ski trip. We’re all alone. We’ve been fooling around for two years. What are you waiting for?” I looked up at him with my arms still around his neck, “Just not like this. A hot tub? We can do better.”

I was lying and saving face from telling him I was terrified. I was nervous, I wasn’t sure, I didn’t know how I felt about him beyond friendship and what sex would mean to him because it matter to me. I felt his fingers push inside me as I gasped and I heard him whisper as he watched me react, “Better like our room upstairs?”

I swallowed hard and knew there was only so long I could avoid this talk, “Brody, I’m scared.” His kisses were venom, poisoning my mind against my heart’s desires. He hot breath on my skin he spoke, “I’m not a virgin baby. I know how to take care of you.”

My lips couldn’t hold back the moan from his fingers, “Brody.” His hips slightly moved against my leg showing me he was hard. He knew I was close, he’d made me cum before, I gripped his biceps knowing I was climaxing. “That’s it, good girl. Ride my fingers.” He nearly smoothed out all my wrinkles with his voice.

We went back to the room and fooled around more, I blew him and he didn’t bring up penetration again. The next morning was when all hell broke loose. That was when the rumors started that I was basically a whore willing to fuck in public.

We commandeered the continental breakfast like a high school cafeteria. As I walked in and the room went silent, everyone was looking at me. Alex ran up to me shoving her phone in my face showing me a video of myself moaning against Brody in the hot tub. I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. I scanned the room for Brody but his best friend said he was skiing the mountain. I hid in our room all day until he was back.

The video captured it all – me taking off my top, him taking my bottoms off and what looked like Brody fucking me because his hips were moving. He almost laughed when I showed him and inquired who could have done this. He told me, “People we’re getting suspicious. The guys were asking me why we don’t kiss and shit. I had to babe. Nothing is showing.”

My blood boiled immediately, “Did you film me blowing you in our room too?! What the fuck Brody! Your leaving for college but I have two years left of being called some whore!” He tried to touch me but I pushed back. Smirking like he knew he’d get away with it, “Its me babe! Your boyfriend. No one is gonna think that! They’re just not gonna doubt we do shit now.”

I felt betrayed, exposed knowing I came on camera and now my whole school has seen. He tried to kiss down to my lips but I stood frozen as he said, “We minus well have sex now. Right?” I pushed him away and locked myself in the bathroom. I only came out later for our friend’s room party and Brody was already gone.

Once I was at the party I down as much alcohol as readily available. By the time I ran into Brody I was drunk. I pulled down his T-shirt forcing myself on him, covering his neck and jaw in kisses. His friend who were never far away started cheering for him. He was their fearless leader, king, all around Mr. Popular. His eyes looked concerned at me being drunk but he knew better then to ask that with his friends there.

Straddling him lap as he sat down on the couch I lightly suckled his skin until I made a hickey. He kissed my lips quickly, a peck, before pushed my hips down, giving us space, “Hey, it’s a party, later we can do that.” I slipped off my crop top revealing a black strapless bra underneath. Brody immediately pushed me off his lap and we both stood up as he tried to cover me with his flannel he had over his shirt. I laughed, “They’ve already seen me topless and getting off Brody so who cares.”

Brody laughed bumping firsts with his friends before telling them, “That’s my cue. She needs that vitamin D.” The room was spinning some when I threw myself on our bed. Brody slammed the door, “What the fuck was that?!” I slipped off the bed losing the flannel and my skirt before I crawled on my knees to the edge of the bed where he stood.

I touched his belt and kept my voice low, “It minus well be true Brody. They all saw.” I dragged him down to me and I could feel his hard cock against my panties as my skirt pushed up. I looked up at the ceiling as he kissed me neck and the room was as dizzy as I was. I leaned up pulling my band bra off and letting my body fall back down. Brody took the opportunity to pull his shirt off and push his jeans down leaving on boxer briefs. I watched him undress as I pushed my own panties down my legs with the most effort I have ever used. I laid there naked once again with Brody hoping for exploration without giving away the ultimate prize. We resumed kissing, our tongues hungry and eager.

His hands grabbed my breasts and hips as he positioned himself still in his underwear. He stopped holding himself above me just looking at me before I said, “What?” His head dropped to my chest before he said, “You’re drunk. I can’t do that to you.”

That was also the first night he found out I knew about the other girls. I pushed him off me covering myself with his flannel, “Can’t or won’t? Your just gonna go fuck some random call who obeys everything you say!”

He leaned back against the pillows, “What are you talking about?”

I was angry and drunk, “I know about the other girls Brody. I know you fuck around because we don’t have sex.”

He laughed trying to deny it but I had the hard hitting questions he can’t ignore, “Then why aren’t you a Virgin too Brody? When did you have sex? Why didn’t you tell me?” Brody sighed deeply, “I have sex. It’s difficult to do what we do and not get sex. I lost my virginity Freshman year when you were in 7ths grade. I never told you because I didn’t wanna hurt you.” I raided the mini bar drinking the miniature alcohol with the same punch as a full size. I sat in a chair and said, “We were suppose to do this together. Be awful together. Your my best friend Brody.” That was the night I learned about make up sex.

Brody got on his knees in front of me telling me, “I knew you wouldn’t be awful after all we did. You weren’t ever gonna be awful. I wanted to be a pro for you.” I shook my head in disagreement as he continued, “I’m not your best friend. I’m your boyfriend. Do best friends do this?”

I felt his kisses cover my legs and finally make it to my pussy. He licked, suckled and teased my clit the way he always did. I forgave him instantly, melting into the chair as I orgasmed. The next morning, our last full day in Big Bear, we got breakfast together. As soon as we walked in his group of friends stood and started clapping before Ian announced, “To the guy who got laid most all weekend!”

Brody laughed and playfully pushed Ian. Ian kept joking telling Brody while we ate, “You have a real minx on your hands here. First the hot tub and then those moans last night bro. She’s a freak!”

I looked at Brody and Ian kept talking, “Babe those tits. Supreme. I gotta thank whatever geek put your sex tape out there!”

Brody filmed us and released it, Ian was the catalyst and the student body would keep it relevant for months. Brody kept eating letting his friends praise him while degrading me and what seemed like us having sex more then once in a few days. His other friend chummed in hitting his shoulder in praise, “That’s why your so calm during games, huh? Constant relief!” I got up trying not to cry as everyone stared at me again. What did the whole student body listen outside our door for moans? Wasn’t a tape enough?

Brody got high fives while I got called a slut. It lasted for months. I was the crazy horny girlfriend that guys would wink at and girls would talk shit about.Our relationship didn’t change behind closed doors, I still wasn’t ready for him to be the one and he still pushed for more. That was his own battle he was willing to fight as long as our peers deemed him a King. Dylan stood up and put his beer down, “Enough. Fuck. I already hate him without the image of him fucking my girl in my mind.” He started taking off his pants and shoes. Next was his shirt. He sat on the edge of the pool waiting for me to notice him. I swam to him and moved between his legs. “What’s the deal with the swimming?” My heart dropped knowing it was part of my mom, “My mom got sick with cancer. She refused chemo. Instead she lived in the water. She said it always helped, like a cleanse and believed it could healed anything.”

“Shit… he was more serious then I thought, huh.” “It wasn’t. He was just a close friend. The person I navigated the world with, I knew he wasn’t a virgin and was cheating on our agreement. You dated Britt for how many years?” “I don’t like knowing some asshole pressured you for sex. I also don’t like knowing he’s seen you naked, touched you and shit.” Shifting gears, he snaked down into the pool taking me close, “Let’s not talk about him.”

“It’s not easy seeing you make out with hot red heads mister. Which is probably a good time to tell you my dad wants me to produce and direct an episode. 3 from now. I read the script…” “I haven’t even read it! Babe. That’s amazing!”

“Apparently Stiles finally has sex…” “What! Seriously? Shit.”

Posey polled his head out, “Bro just don’t fuck in the pool, okay? We’re gonna head to bed.” Dylan shouted, “Hey Posey! Did you hear us last time?”

Posey shook his head and looked down, “Dude. Just keep it down. Didn’t you two just fuck before we got burgers? Slow down.” “I’m off tomorrow. We’re gonna get drunk and fuck bro. Celebrating! My girl is gonna direct next month’s episode!” “Congrats! Let’s do shots! But have your girl put on a top. I’ll get the whiskey!”

Dylan jumped out putting the fire pit on and grabbing me one of the throws on the chair. I wrapped myself up as I sat down in one of the chairs. “We’ve been up like 24 hours now.” Dylan laughed, “That’s why I sleep the whole day after 17 hour days.” Posey gave everyone shots and we cheers to the long day. Alex was well rested and laughed at our delirium.

It was the first time I witnessed Alex and Tyler kiss. “Everyone always asks about us. What about you two?” Alex said, “What? We hang out. We have sex. I don’t think either of us want a relationship. Not everyone is hopelessly in love.”

Dylan looked at me without saying anything but I knew we weren’t fooling around or wasting our time. Posey shouted, “Never have I ever! Yes! Great way to know each other without sex. And we’re all delirious now. I’ll start, never have I ever made YouTube videos.”

Dylan and him locked eyes and Dylan drank. Dylan poured more whiskey into his shot glass, “I never had sex in high school.” Both Alex and Posey drank but it was Alex’s turn, “Never have I ever been caught having sex by my dad.” I drank with Dylan and said, “Never have I ever been drunk and high in the same night.” They all drank up but Posey went next, “Never have I ever… lost my keys.”

We all drank except Posey and Dylan went next, “Never have I ever had a girl ride me… except tonight.” Posey stood up shocked, “What the fuck! No ones rode you except her?! Damn baby!”

Dylan grabbed his own crotch, “Too big man. They complain.” They both died laughing. And we were all at least 6 shots in by now. Dylan shouted, “I dare you two to make out!”

Posey easily took the challenge as Dylan leaned over whispering, “It’s our chance. Come on.” They’re tolerance was high because I felt drunk already, “Dylan I’m a light weight!” He laughed, “Oh yeah? Do a little boxing in your off time?”

I almost crawled up the stairs, “I’m so tired and drunk. Save me.” Finally, in his room I dropped the throw I had covering me and slide into his bed. Laying on my side I felt

Dylan’s body against mine, kissing my shoulder, “You’re amazing. I’m really glad you didn’t pick him.” I turned over on my back and Dylan leaned over me while I asked him, “If we’re making love, doesn’t that mean we’re in love?”

He licked his lips, “It’s crazy. Some part of me knows I’m gonna love you.” I asked him, “Was it always making love with Britt?” He laughed, “No. God no. It was always quick, rough – like before we got burgers. We hardly saw each other because of acting.” I felt his body adjust between my legs, “It’s another world with you. I lose control. I forget everything else. The way you feel – I can’t describe it. The way you react to me.”

Leaning up to kiss his neck, my hips were moving heading him talk and he was getting hard between my legs. I whispered, “How do I feel? How do I react baby?” I felt his finger tips push into my panties rubbing me, “Like this. Already wet for me. I love that. And when you feel my tip like this when I push your panties aside your hips beg for me.” A small sigh left my lips, “Dylan.”

“Yeah? You want me to put this inside your pussy baby?” I felt his hand holding his tip and rubbing it against me. He stopped quickly taking my panties off and tossing them as he leaned down kissing me on my lips.

My legs bent our tongues touched and I felt him push inside me and I moaned. “Oh fuck.” I knew he felt good the way he pushed inside me and slowly dragged out painfully slow. I kept kissing his neck and chest. Torturous or not, he still felt like heaven. Nothing like Brody. After we climax we both laid there just talking, cuddled up like we would die if we weren’t touching. I asked him, “What is your family like?” He smiled a little thinking of them, “My dad is a camera operator. My mom teaches. Married for like 30 years. My sister is a year and a half older then me. She’s also a lesbian.”

I was shocked and didn’t know why, “Wow. Super close in age. Was that hard for your parents or they’re open minded?” Dylan pulled out his phone scrolling until he found a photo of them both, “No. My mom missed out on girly stuff but she had me.”

I asked him how he felt about the sex scenes coming up and he said, “You’ll be directing the sex. Shouldn’t I ask you?” I was already jealous which wasn’t good. That must mean I liked him more then I was willing to admit. “I’m not thrilled to see it. You’d feel the same if I had to do sex scenes.”

“Yes I wouldn’t wanna see that. My experience with Brody the ex was enough for me. I’ve never gotten into a real fight.” I knew that wouldn’t be the last time I saw him. We both grew up in LA, going to the same places. We’d been up more then 24 hours now and I felt my eyes close as I was cuddled up against Dylan.

[hjcoolartnerd]

Just A little Push Part 1

A Harringrove and Dylommy Fanfic

It was a very normal day in Hawkins, Dylan was just finishing his shift at the pool. He usually had shifts with Billy but this day he asked to get an early shift, Why? well he was going to hang out with his long time friend Steve. The two haven't talked since their friendship collapsed during middle school and last week the two saw each other since they graduated at Steve's work Family video. After talking for a long while the two agreed to hang out together along with Steve's Coworker Robin Buckley. As Dylan dried off he could see a very much angry Billy entering the pool's locker room "WHAT THE HELL WALKER!" He shouted at Dylan who didn't seem faced, on the contrary he knew this was coming "Calm down Hargrove" He said back as he took of his tank top uniform. "Don't tell me what to do shit head! I thought you promised we were going to have our shifts at the same time I barely know the little shits in town let alone our coworkers" He spat still angry. "Look, I had to take a early shift. I had plans today in the afternoon and i couldn't work our usual shift." He replied back calmly changing into a dry plain shirt. "So? I could have joined you in the morning shift" He continued to reply his anger not disappearing. "Give me a break Hargrove you aren't a morning person, so I took the morning shift with Adam. It was super quiet at that hour tho, no annoying kids and no hot sun to bother us. I could even get my break in peace.” He said taking off his red swimming trunks. “So who is taking the afternoon shift with me?” He was still mad “uh Heather Holloway. She agreed to switch shifts something about not being able to take the morning shift” Dylan said as he pulled on some fresh pair of shorts “ great so now I’m working with a completely random girl?” He grumbled as he leaned on the lockers “we studied with heather… besides I promised Steve I would hang out with him.” He said the mention of Steve’s making Billy straightened up “Harrington? You are meeting with Harrington or Farrah Fawcett?” Billy looked straight at Dylan’s eyes “Yes Harrington. Randall left Hawkins for New York.” Dylan said as he finished getting ready “lucky bastard” he muttered “so… Harrington you still like him?” Dylan laughs at Billy’s question “no I don’t still like Steve… I was so focused on his ass and his …. Attention that I might have lost sight of people who actually liked me like Eddie or Barb.” Dylan looked at him before smirking “why you like Steve?” Billy choked at Dylan’s suggestion “What?! I don’t like losers like Harrington… he just has nice hair and… well..” his voiced lowered as he looked away “awe that’s cute Hargrove, you like Steve” he chuckled “relax before you threaten me, I won’t tell anything to Steve but I’ll let you know if he mentions you” he chuckles as he grabs his bag “see ya tomorrow Hargrove.” Dylan slowly began walking out of the locker room and by extension the community pool. He walked past the front were he saw Adam who was also getting his things to leave, Dylan saw more people walk in like Mrs. Wheeler and the rest of the moms that usually came by to gawk at Billy's shirtless physiche. Dylan just kept walking until he reached his car a red 1970 Chevrolet Chevelle SS454, a Christmas gift from his mom's new boyfriend. He turned on the engine, and took one last glance at the community pool as he then began driving to his place. Dylan was lucky that his sister and Bruce were out of town for the weekend so he had invited Steve and Buckley to his place.

After a while of driving, he eventually arrived to the small two story house that he and his sister managed to get. He turned off the engine as he stayed in the car for a short while. He looked over at the Neighboring house as he noticed a familiar brown haired Jerk arriving to the house next door. He lived right next to Carol Perkins, and the guy he saw was his high school bully Thomas 'Tommy' Hagan. He took a deep breath as he got out of his car grabbing the key to his house, in the corner of his eyes Dylan noticed Tommy walking towards the fence as he leaned "Hey Walker! Good to see yah Pretty boy, Thought you left town" He said with his trademark smirk one that he was tired of seeing. "Hello Hagan.... I thought you were working in prison already." Dylan said as he stopped right in front of the door of the house. "You have a nice sense of humor Walker. You've always been kind of funny man" He said still leaning on the fence, "Since when are you living next door to Carol man?" Dylan took a deep breath, he knew he needed to go inside and get things ready to hang out with Steve and Buckley but he also couldn't be rude to his neighbor no matter how much he wanted. "Since we graduated from Hawkins high. My sister, Bruce and I took this place not long after...." He walked closer to Tommy who just smiled "That's nice! can't wait to see you almost every day Walker." Tommy had a genuine smile as he was going to extend his hand to shake Dylan's hand he was stopped "TOMMY! Are YOU COMMING FOR OUR MOVIE NIGHT OR NOT" It was Carol annoying voice, "Coming Babe!" He yelled back before smiling at me "Well i got to head inside, My girl is kind of an attention whore" He said as he walked into the house "An attention whore and a bed whore too..." Dylan mumbled to himself as he went to the door and unlocked it. He was greeted by his friendly dog Milo "Hey Buddy! Miss you too boy! let's go eat before going for a walk" He said feeding an excited Milo who just wagged his tail. Dylan was standing close to a window that had a full view to Carol's house, it was different that her parents house but they still had a pool. Dylan could see clearly to the Livingroom and to the kitchen, Carol was looking for beer for Tommy while tommy was sitting on the couch rambling about who knows. He shook his head as he looked back at Milo. It was going to be a long night wouldn't it.

Eventually, Steve and Buckley Arrived to Dylan's place, he let them enter as he led them towards the living room. "Welcome to my humble abode!" He said smiling as he sat on the couch "Wow this place looks awesome Dylan." Steve said sitting right next to him and Robin also sat down. "So Walker what's new? How is the community pool is treating you?" Robin asked him as Steve instantly looked at Dylan for his answer "Honestly, The pool is fine... not the first place i had in mind as a job but i still took it. Tho im planning of quitting once summer ends. Might try to get a job at KFC's newest rival, the Chicken Shack." He said stretching on the couch "Oh yeah the new place right across of were we work, I heard they have good food" Robin said as she smiled "how are you co workers treating you Dyl" Steve asked more interested on Dylan's co-workers than Dylan wanting to changed jobs. "Oh they are okay.... Heather Holloway usually works in the morning as well as the rest of my co workers, I usually work in the evenings with Hargrove." He said and that quickly peeked Steve's interest. "Hargrove.... Is he still a handsome Jerk?" Steve said trying to say it low but Dylan still heard "I don't know about handsome, Steve, but he is still a jerk... he was mad at me for not telling him about me working early, So I almost didn't make it out alive" He chuckled "But Hargrove and I are friend ish, so i guess we are fine...." Steve nodded as Dylan got up "Let me get the snacks from the kitchen." He walked away leaving Steve and Robin alone in the living room "Steve, if you talk like that about Billy, Dylan will find out that you like Billy" Robin said with a smirk "I know, But I can't help it... I haven't Seen him since graduation..." He hesitated "I wanted to swing by the pool but Dylan is always on shift with Billy" He sighed "Look i know that Dylan might have feelings for you but you like Billy, you can't help it. Dylan would understand it" She said patting his back "Besides I don't think Billy would reject the King" Steve laughed at Robin as Dylan returned with snack "Guess who i saw next door?" He said with a frown on his face. "OH Who? Barb?" Steve said " No she is in New York." Dylan replied fast "Copy cat Steve?" Robin asked and Dylan glare "No... I thank god or else id have to move. But no he is Also In new York." He said sitting down as he set the snacks on the small coffee table "Then who Walker?" Robin asked "Tommy Hagan... He and Carol are still going strong" Dylan said with a permanent frown on his face. "Isn't that The one who used to call you the F word every day and Steve didn't say anything to him?" She asked as Dylan nods "Yes That same jerk.... and It was weird, he was happy to see me... there was no hate, no anger.... no homophobia...." Dylan trailed off "Really? are we talking about the same Tommy. As In Thomas Hagan, freckles, douchebag, boyfriend to a whore?" Steve asked as Dylan nods again "Yeah that Tommy. It was really weird interaction very friendly." He said as he shrugged "Not that weird" Robin said as they all looked at her "What?" Steve asked confused. "Yeah Buckley what do you know that Steve doesn't?" Dylan asked crossing his arms "Well, Its obvious, why he only bullied you Dylan or more like why he mostly bullied you... He might be closeted or curious." She said as both Dylan and Steve laughed at her suggestion "Really Robin? Saying that Tommy is closeted is like saying that Billy is a flaming gay" Steve added laughing as Dylan just laughed with the most fake laugh he could, He couldn't reveal Billy's secret without Billy's consent so he just laughed with Steve. This was the most weird reunion that Dylan and Steve have had but it was cool, The thought of a curious or closeted Tommy did made Dylan curious, the same to Steve the thought of Billy being a flaming gay.

A/N: Here we have the first part of Just A little Push. I thought i was going on for too long writing this , But it was an Idea I had, Obviously I never saw My oc getting with Tommy Hagan as a couple but.... thats why AU's Exist right?

[batz-surveys]

13.

01. What do you hope you grow out of? I hope someday, I grow out of my fear of driving. I have no clue where it came from. I used to have this dream that I was young, maybe about eight, and my mom had me wait in the car while she went in somewhere. I ended up behind the wheel of the car, and started driving, and then the brakes give out and I'm trapped, and the only way to stop the car, was to crash into a wall. I know I would be a good driver. I've driven before. I just get so anxious behind the wheel, though, so I don't drive. 02. What is the healthiest and unhealthiest thing you do on a regular basis? The healthiest thing I do on a daily basis is walk. I walk so much while I'm at work. I usually get anywhere from 10,000 to 15,000 steps before I get home. The unhealthiest thing I do? Eat junk.

03. When looking for a SO, what three things are most important (besides looks)?   They have to be funny, they have to be a musician or really into music, and they have to be kind. I know the music thing is pretty shallow, but I've only ever been with musicians because music is a really big part of my life. I could talk about music until the sun comes up.

04. How much do you judge a person by their appearance? Not much, honestly. I mean, if someone looks like they haven't washed or whatever in a while, I can't judge that because I don't know what their situation is. I learned that lesson a long time ago when I was in high school. There was this girl on the bus that everyone used to make fun of - like even the bus driver who would call her "stank bitch" and spray air freshener to make the other kids laugh. Well, one day, I just sparked up a conversation with her and we became friends. Then one day, when I felt like we were close enough (maybe like a few weeks), I asked her why she sometimes smells. It turned out, she lived with like seven other people in a two-bedroom apartment and a lot of the time, she just didn't get a chance to shower. Nobody on that bus knew her situation, and nobody asked, but everyone laughed at her.

05. What is the most embarrassing thing you own? Like something I wouldn't want anyone to find? A butt plug, haha. But I've never used it. Also, I have what some would call an embarrassing amount of stuffies at my big age, haha. 06. What is the strangest habit you have? I can't really think of anything that I do habitually as strange, because it's normal to me. I guess, some would say making my bed before I get into it, strange and a waste of time since I'm getting in anyway. But it could be 11pm at night and I'm about to go to sleep, and I'll make the bed before I get in it.

07. What movie made you cry the most?   The Iron Giant. One of my favorite animated films of all time, but I'm literally sobbing even after it ends. Another one is Marley and Me. I only watched that one once. I remember watching it with my niece, and choking back tears because we were with other family members that I knew would poke fun at us for crying at it. But once they left (I think we were getting ready to go swimming afterwards) my niece just looked at me, all teary eyed, and we both just busted out crying, haha. She was a kid, and I was like, 20 at the time. And I just held her and we just cried for what seemed like forever.

08. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Getting my first dog, Mr. Lucky. He was a liver-spotted Dalmatian, with one green eye, and one blue eye, and just so beautiful.

09. What was the worst date that you’ve ever been on?  Haha, I know there are worst dating stories out there, but here's my worst one: Before I started hanging out with my husband, I went on a date with this guy that I was acquaintances with - we went to go see The Wolfman (2010) and it was just really awkward because he kept trying to hold my hand but I didn't really want to since we barely knew each other (we hung out in a group a couple times but that was it). Then when he dropped me off at my house, he tried to kiss me on the lips as I went in to kiss him on the cheek, and it was just really awkward. 10. What’s your favorite vacation memory from when you were a child?  The first time we went to New York for Christmas. My brother and I even wrote and illustrated a book about the trip on the bus ride home.

11. What belief do you have that most people disagree with?   My own personal beliefs as far as having children. I don't think everyone needs to have them. I think that medical intervention (IVF and all that) to have children is like playing God, and I'm saying that as someone that's been offered that as a solution to my unexplained infertility - at one point in our lives together, my husband and I were on the fence about children. And I believe it's things like that, that is causing over-population in the world, which we all know is one of the causes of climate change. In the same breath, I'm pro-choice. If someone gets knocked-up accidentally, they have every right to abort the fetus, if it's not the right time for them to be having kids, if it's not a good situation, or whatever the case may be, nobody should bat an eye to the person wanting to get rid of the cells or fetus.

12. What impression do you try to give when you first meet someone? I'm just myself these days, for the most part. If I'm meeting a new parent at work, then I have to use my nice teacher voice, but still - I'm myself.

13. Who or what inspires you to be a better person? Myself. I'm a totally different person than I was in the past, and I just try my best to be a good person because back then, maybe I wasn't so good. But I was also under a lot of stress and abuse and I took it out on myself in all kinds of different ways. I want to be the person I needed back then, now.

14. What’s the TLDR description of your last relationship? He was an abusive, cheating, drunken asshole and I sucked up every minute of it because I was young, dumb, and in love until he broke it off.

15. If you found out your current life has been just a dream, would you choose to wake up? (You don’t know if your real life would be better or worse.) No, keep me asleep. Things are pretty good here in dreamland.

16. What dumb thing did you believe for a really long time? "That bananas give you nightmares if you eat them before bed." That's what I wrote, before looking it up, but it's actually true! But I'm allergic to bananas anyway, so it's not like it matters. So, we'll go with this one: until I was like, eleven, I used to think ALL cats were girls because I could never see a penis, haha. Don't ask me how I thought they reproduced, because I was convinced that they just basically spawned out of nowhere and that's why there were always so many stray cats in my neighborhood at the time, haha.

17. What are some things you would you like to achieve before you die? I would like to go to Italy, become a somewhat successful writer, and live in the country with a couple rescued farm animals. Nothing too major. I like the simple things.

18. Where would you like to retire? In the countryside, and it doesn't have to be here in America, either. I just want to live out the rest of my days peacefully with my husband, maybe some pets, somewhere away from all the noise.

19. What brings you the most joy in life? My husband, my family, my dog, music, doing artsy things, writing, and getting to work with my favorite kids everyday.

20. What is the best and worst part of your personality? The best part is I'm honest. I'll never bullshit you, even on things that might be deemed hard to talk about with others. But that's also the worst, because some people handle the truth very poorly and take offense to the things I say.

21. How would your perfect partner treat you? Like my husband does. He's loving, caring, and understanding, but firm when he needs to be and I need to hear it. He does whatever I need him to do, and is very involved. I see Tik Toks and videos of women who are treated so poorly by their husbands, and I just feel so sad for them. My husband is my best friend, my soulmate, and he treats me like a goddess, and I can't believe people settle for less than that.

[bish-plz-haha]

The Shadows (Kagehina fic)

Excerpt of a little Kagehina fanfic I've started.

I've only just started it—I haven't even posted it yet, but let me know what you think. Please. Dunno if I should post it or not.

It's inspired by Sunshine Harbour on AO3.

Chapter One: Anxiety (excerpt)

It started with talking in his sleep. Kageyama could deal with that; that was normal. It was easy. He could just roll over and use his pillow or the blankets to cover his ears and fall back into a mindless slumber. In the morning, he'd ask his fiancé if he remembered what he was dreaming about. And his answer was always the same; "No, I don't. Why?" And Kageyama would shake his head, mumbling that he was just wondering. And Hinata would whine about it.

"Really," Kageyama would say with a sigh, "it's nothing. You were just talking in your sleep. I didn't understand anything, though." He would stare at his fiancé, and fierce amber eyes would stare right back, challenging him. But there was no challenge there; he didn't hear anything except a mumbled mess of words barely audible.

Eventually, Hinata would give in. Or, rather, he would have to give up as his phone that usually sat plugged into the wall on the bar would ring out with his alarm, signifying he had to leave for work. "We'll continue with this when I get home." He would grumble in defeat as he would grab his bag, kiss his fiancé's cheek, and rush out the door.

They never did continue it when he got home: both too exhausted to argue. Instead, they'd cuddle on the couch and watch some mindless TV show or movie. Or, on the odd occasion, they'd get home in a good mood, things would escalate, and they'd have sex. It was a rare occasion that both of them were up for it. Though they had a system that worked for them. And they didn't push the other to do something they didn't want to.

Eventually, though, Hinata's sleep talking turned into nightmares for Kageyama. Hinata would sit up in bed, eyes wide open, staring at the wall and mumble, "They make death swift." And there were times he would grab hold of Kageyama, as tight as he could and shout, "I didn't mean to kill them! They made me do it." There was so much that Kageyama suggested Hinata go see someone one morning.

"Why?" Hinata asked, cocking his head. His eyes were always intense, but Kageyama was used to that. It was when he was curious or mad or any other visceral emotions when his stare really crawled under Kageyama's skin. "Sleep talking sometimes is normal, isn't it?" He'd ask, a mischievous grin taking hold of his lips. "You do it! One time, you woke me up to talk about your old high schools basketball club, only to tell me you didn't know a single thing about basketball. You yelled at me for talking about your most hated sport, wondered why we were talking about going swimming in the dead of winter, asked for some ice cream then grumbled about being a human being and went back to sleep." Hinata was in fits as he recalled Kageyama's sleep talking. "That's my favourite one." He sighed, content as he gathered himself.

Kageyama couldn't argue with that. People did talk in their sleep sometimes, even he it seemed. But the longer Kageyama waited for the phase to pass, the worse it got.

One night really scared Kageyama; Hinata bolted upright in bed, quickly clambering to get out from under the blankets. He stood in a fighting stance. Kageyama didn't see it at first, but when he turned on the bedside lamp, it shimmered in the light. "I won't go back. I'm done with that. Leave me alone." His eyes were bouncing all over the room, as if watching a ricocheting bullet, waiting for it to come hutling towards him. "I won't! Leave me the fuck alone!" He finally shouted. He crossed his arms and ducked his head, as if he was expecting an impact from something that wasn't there. The switchblade that normally sat on the bedside table, of which he had grabbed between getting out of bed and now, sliced his arm open from elbow to wrist. Kageyama scrambled for the first aid kit, scared to get near the man but wanting to help his fiancé all the same. "Get away from me, you bastard." He moved the knife in his grip, blade now facing outward instead of an underhand grip.

Kageyama stepped back. He watched as blood soaked into his white vneck shirt, dripping down his arm onto his shorts as well. This was not ideal. This was something from a horror film. And Kageyama was frozen in place, crouching behind the bed for cover. He waited for this episode to be over, for what seemed like hours, until Hinata finally just collpased back into bed, falling back asleep. Blood splattered the floor where he was stood, a small puddle forming. The red-haired man was a heavy sleeper—had to be if he did shit like that—so Kageyama grabbing his arm and patching him up had no effect on his sleep whatsoever.

But Kageyama?

He was scared shitless.

After wiping the blood away and dabbing at the wound with cotton balls drenched in rubbing alcohol, he wrapped up his arm. He placed the kit back under their bed, grabbed some spare sheets and blankets from the cupboard, and made up the couch. Which is where Hinata found him the next morning.

[roanofarcc]

PROJECT SUNSHINE CHAPTER NINETEEN → THE P.I.

summary: steve harrington x oc

when another product of Hawkins National Laboratory escaped a long-survived nightmare alongside her sister, she crashed into one unsuspecting teenage boy and dragged him deeper into the dark mysteries that made up their hometown.

word count. 2.8k || masterlist

warnings: cannon typical violence, child abuse, horror, gore, and depictions of mental illness. parts of this story were written pre-season 4 release. cannon divergence.

previous chapter ← → next chapter

The Green Thumb was Mary-Jane Torres’s third pride and joy. Sunshine was the first, then Blue - their dog. 

The Green Thumb was a quaint flower shop within walking distance from their house, positioned in what Mary-Jane considered the perfect spot in downtown Hawkins. It was practically overflowing with beautiful plants that Sunshine’s mother was teaching her how to take care of. The two spent most of their mornings and afternoons at the shop while the other kids around town were at school. 

“Are you excited for Halloween?” Mary-Jane asked from behind the front counter, working on a special bouquet. Sunshine hummed in response as she watered. “After we close today, maybe we could go shopping for a costume for your party?”

It turned out to be pretty easy for Sunshine to convince her parents to let her attend the high school Halloween party with Steve and Nancy. They were happy she was doing normal teenage things, but Sunshine was still on the fence about going. 

It wasn’t so much about the safety aspect of going, nothing Upside Down or Lab related had happened for almost a full year. Rather, it was the idea of spending a whole night surrounded by other teenagers who she didn’t know, but who believed they knew her. 

Sunshine was the furthest thing from a “normal” teen, and it was hard for her to blend in when everyone in Hawkins knew that she had something to hide. One slip up and she’d become the talk of the town all over again. She feared they’d see right through her. 

“Honey, you’re drowning the mums,” Mary-Jane said. Water overflowed from the flowerpot Sunshine had been watering and it puddled at her feet. 

“Sorry,” she muttered before setting down the watering can. 

Mary-Jane blocked her path to the backroom and peered at her daughter with concern swimming in her dark eyes. “Is everything okay?” 

The look her mother gave her caused guilt to sink like a stone in Sunshine’s stomach. The weight of actively lying to her mother and father was heavy on her heart. 

The story of Danielle Torres was muddled and skewed to make it easier to believe for her parents and the rest of Hawkins. Everyone believed that she was kidnapped at the age of six, which was true. Who took her remained a mystery, one that people were very curious about but were too scared to ask. All anyone knew was that her kidnapper, after ten whole years, let their guard down enough for her to escape and find her way back home, and that was that. 

Most people bought the story, but there were holes poked in it that didn’t add up and a few people started to notice. 

Lying to the people of Hawkins didn’t bother Sunshine, but lying to her parents did. She knew that they wanted to know the full story because they thought that if they understood what she’d been through, they could help her heal and move on from it. Sunshine knew that wasn’t true, though. There was a little, nagging voice in the back of her head that reminded her that if her parents knew the full truth, they’d no longer see her as their little girl, but as something much worse. 

“Yeah, sorry. I’m okay,” Sunshine said with a tight-lipped smile. 

Mary-Jane didn’t seem to buy it, but she didn’t press any further. Instead, she said, “Why don’t you take a break and grab some fresh air? I’ll finish watering and close early for the day. We’ll get a head start on shopping for a costume for Halloween, okay?”

Sunshine nodded and weaved through the maze of vines and flowers until she stepped outside. There was a bench not far from the shop that she often made herself comfortable at when she needed a moment to clear her head. 

All of her time cooped up inside the Lab made her more enchanted by the outdoors. Since she escaped, she’d spent more time outside than indoors. There was something about the endless expanse of the sky that hung over her head and the way the cool air felt against her skin that brought peace to her. When the sunlight warmed her limbs and coated everything in gentle light, she felt alive.

There were a couple of people out and about the downtown area. Sunshine watched them with one hand absentmindedly playing with the sun pendant on the necklace that she never took off. 

A small smile formed on her lips when she spotted Will Byers’s mother, Joyce, hand in hand with her new boyfriend, Bob Newby, as they enjoyed their daily lunchtime stroll around the block. 

Sunshine was glad she didn’t have to lie to everyone in her life. Her band of middle schoolers, the trio of monster hunters, Hopper, and Joyce were the only souls in Hawkins who knew the truth. When she was with them, she felt less alienated, and the world felt a little less suffocating. 

She’d never had friends before, not in the traditional sense; the children of Hawkins Lab were her family and there was never a sense of normalcy behind the white walls, there was only survival. Within her new, tight-knit group, Sunshine had real friends who cared for her almost as much as she cared for them. It was nice and it was normal; that was all she had ever wanted. 

Despite the lack of anything Upside Down or Lab related, Hawkins as a whole was far from normal. 

“Nice weather we’re having,” a voice said, joining her on the lone bench. 

Sunshine let out a sigh and kept her eyes focused on the street in front of her. “I thought Hopper told you to leave my family and me alone?” 

The man on the opposite side of the bench scoffed like she had offended him. “I don’t work for him,” he said. “Actually, I don’t work for anyone.”

With a roll of her eyes, a gesture she picked up from Mike and his endless amount of pre-teen angst, Sunshine glanced to the side and met the scruffy-looking man with dark hair and a receding hairline. He didn’t look like the professional he claimed he was. Hopper called him a con man.

“Mr. Bauman, I already told you everything I know,” She said, lying right through her teeth. “I don’t know what else you want.”

Murray Bauman, an annoyingly persistent man, narrowed his gaze at her just slightly. “You and I both know that’s not true. All I want is to help the Holland family find their missing daughter.”

It took everything inside Sunshine not to grimace at his words. 

Barbara’s parents still help out hope that their daughter was alive and out there somewhere because, as Nancy had said, Barb wasn’t the kind of kid who would run away. No matter how the people at Lab tried to spin in, those who knew Barbara knew that. 

Everything Sunshine had learned about Barb was secondhand from Nancy before it became too painful for the girl to speak about and then the two of them would curl up on the couch of the Wheeler or Torres household and watch whatever cheesy movie Nancy plucked from her basement.

While Sunshine listened to Nancy about Barb, Nancy listen to Sunshine talk about Eleven. They both lost someone they loved to a monster, and it was impossibly difficult to cope with that, but at least they weren’t alone; at least they understood each other. 

“I already told you, I didn’t know Barbara,” Sunshine replied. Maybe she only knew her second hand, but she was one of the last people to talk to her before she died, and for some reason, she felt like the private investigator beside her knew that.

Murray hummed in response and folded his hands on his lap while he stared out into the street too. 

“It’s funny to me how no one in this town wants to talk or wants to tell the truth,” he said. “And you know what else? No one wants to listen either. It’s almost like…like you’re all in one big secret. But that’s too far-fetched, right?” 

Sunshine shrugged and tried to keep her cool by curling her fingers into the fabric of her oversized sweater. “I don’t know,” she said simply. “I haven’t been here long. I don’t know much.” 

She felt terrible. 

She felt terrible for the Hollands, for Nancy, for everyone who became unwillingly involved. All of their hands were tied with too many secrets they had to hide. If it had been up to Sunshine, if she was a little stronger and braver, she’d tell everyone what happened inside the Lab and who was responsible for it. 

However, as Hopper had said, the truth of the Upside Down and the Lab were not pills people would swallow. So, it would forever remain a secret. 

“Do you want to know what I think?” Murray didn’t wait for Sunshine to answer. “I think something is going on here. And I plan on figuring it out.” 

He stood up from the bench, but paused for a moment, waiting for Sunshine to spill her guts. 

She wouldn’t. Instead, she shook her head and met his eye narrowly. “I don’t think you will, Mr. Bauman.” 

A challenging look flickered in his gaze, but he paired it with an impressed smile. “You should know how much I hate children. You all are extraordinarily irritating, but you, are obnoxiously cryptic. All of your answers to my questions make it painfully obvious that you’re hiding something. So, I suggest you either tell the truth or get better at lying.” 

Sunshine’s golden gaze reflected the sunlight that glittered high in the October sky as she offered the man a short nod. “Okay,” she said. “Have a good day, Mr. Bauman.” 

With one final scoff, Murray took off down the sidewalk, leaving Sunshine alone on the bench once more. She rolled her tense shoulders back and made sure he was out of sight before she buried her head in her hands. 

Everyone was so determined to figure out the truth, but none of them had the slightest clue of the nightmares that would follow it.

Later that evening, after shopping with her mother to find the perfect Halloween costume, the Torres family gathered around the dining room table for a dinner complete with greasy pizza and breadsticks. 

Sunshine’s father played his old records quietly from the player in the living room, and Blue waited patiently at Sunshine’s feet awaiting pieces of pepperoni.

“What costume did you pick out? Did you go with my Princess Leia idea?” Walter asked. 

Sunshine shook her head. “I’m going as Wonder Woman.” 

Mary-Jane smiled brightly. “I told her we’ll have to dig up all my old comic books from the attic. I think you’d love ‘em.” 

Mary-Jane had talked Sunshine’s ear off about the superhero when they spotted the costume at the store. 

The gaggle of middle schoolers Sunshine knew often talked about their comic book collection, so she was somewhat familiar with what that was. What she didn’t know was that there were comic books with girls on the covers, not just boys in spandex suits. 

Apparently, Mary-Jane was once an avid comic book collector in her time, but her favorite hero was Wonder Woman. She had boxes upstairs in the attic filled with her old collection. Mary-Jane excitedly offered to help Sunshine with her hair and makeup too, to make her look like the perfect replica of the superhero. 

In the short span of their shopping trip, and a little more insight into her mother’s teenage years, Sunshine grew more excited about the party. She knew that with Steve and Nancy by her side, the night had the potential to be as fun as high school parties looked in the movies. Maybe a night as a normal teen would help her clear her head as well. 

The family lapsed into their usual small talk about their day, while Sunshine fixed her gaze on the empty seat at the table. 

There were four chairs at their dining room table, despite them being a family of three, but Sunshine’s parents often had company over. The extra seat was handy, but it looked lonely come dinner time with just the three of them. Sunshine found herself imagining her sister there to fill the empty seat.

As time pressed on, the grief of Eleven’s loss lessened just s little inside Sunshine’s heart, but there wasn’t a day that passed that she didn’t think of her little sister. Sometimes it felt as if Eleven was still there. When she was alone in her room, Sunshine felt something crawl down her spine and a strange feeling settled in the air like she wasn’t alone in that moment.

Sunshine didn’t know what that meant, but she did know that Eleven deserved to be in a warm home like hers, with people who loved her. She deserved a chance at a normal life, but it was stolen from her, unfairly. 

It was hard for her to talk about Eleven; she couldn’t bring her sister up to her parents and she felt guilty mentioning her around the party. Even though they hadn’t known her long, the kids all missed Eleven too, especially Mike who took her death the hardest. They all needed to heal and move on with their lives, and Sunshine figured she wouldn’t be helping if she brought up such a sensitive topic. 

Sometimes she’d talk about Eleven to Steve or Nancy, but they too were reeling with the events of last year; it didn’t feel right to burden them with her troubles too.

For the most part, Sunshine kept her grief and ghosts to herself. They remained locked up inside her brain that brimmed with too many secrets. Maybe one day she’d spill them, or maybe they’d follow her into the grave.

“Sweetheart?” Mary-Jane’s voice pulled Sunshine’s gaze away from the empty chair. “Are you sure you want to go to the party tomorrow? You don’t have to if that’s what has got you all worried. Your friends will understand.”

She wasn’t worried about the party, or rather, it wasn’t on her main list of worries. 

“No, I want to go,” she insisted. 

No matter how difficult it was, Sunshine wanted, so badly, to be a normal kid - whatever that meant. She wanted to do normal things like Steve and Nancy did like go to parties and talk to people her age. She didn’t want to remain a stranger to the outside world for the rest of her life.

Sunshine pushed her half-eaten plate of pizza away from her and stood up from the table. “I’m just tired. I gonna lie down.” 

Before her parents had a chance to respond, she disappeared from the dining room and into her bedroom. 

Once the door was closed behind her, a heavy sigh fell from her parted lips as she fell into her unmade bed. 

Warm blankets, with flower patterns, engulfed her body. Sunshine rested her head on a heap of pillows and squeezed her eyes closed tight enough to make little stars appear in the inky black of her vision. The stars couldn’t cover up the images of her sister in her mind, or the flashing light and bloodied teeth of a monster. They always came back to her when she was alone to remind Sunshine of what she’d never be able to outrun.

She couldn’t handle the violent images that danced around her mind and peeled her eyes back open. A nap would ruin her night’s sleep anyway, she thought, and there was no doubt she’d be met with nightmares the second her body was lulled to sleep. 

Instead, she lifted her arm above her and rolled down the sleeve of her sweater, revealing her tattoo in the warm lamplight of her bedroom. 

The numbers were healed over with old and new scars from her bad habit of scratching the tattoo when she was upset or stressed. She felt like the tattoo defined her, but not in all bad ways. Her tattoo was the one thing all of the children of Hawkins Lab shared. None of them had been related by blood, aside from the twins, but the tattoos were thicker than blood; it used to be their tether to one another. 

Sunshine rubbed her thumb over the ink before she let her arm fall onto her chest. Upon her ceiling, the first and last thing she saw every day, was press on stars that glowed in the dark. 

At first, she feared the stars would remind her too much of her room back inside the Lab, but she found it nearly impossible to sleep without them. The stars were Ivy’s idea, long ago, and they served as a reminder of the dark-eyed girl who Sunshine liked to believe still watched over her. 

She didn’t want to forget that, Ivy, or the other kids. She didn’t want to scrub her mind completely of the Lab. After all, she was the last one - who she was aware of - left alive. If she forgot, who would remember all of the children who never made it out? 

She wouldn’t let them be only ghosts in her mind; she just needed to become less scared to talk about them.

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