#they just can't stop the passage of time !!! well actually they can and thats the problem! oh no !

[lucabyte]

Moomin!Ali returns alongside their siblings in the slightly manic later pages of my recent sketchbook.

[mitchelljoni]

2, 5, 17, 24

OMG hey!!!<3

2. name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

SUCH a good question omg. love this. one thing about me is i AM an easy laugh so like. there are so many but rn i think theres a couple that come to mind....funny girl genuinely makes me giggle. when barbra streisand comes down the stairs and shes got that pillow under her shirt...i am the beautiful reflection of my love's affection.......iykyk. truly hysterical. clueless and legally blonde, also great classic laughs produced. i remember watching licorice pizza recently and that genuinely had me in bits at points, so many good moments. loved the bradley cooper scenes obv lol...

otherwise bridget jones's diary and the proposal both never fail to make me laugh HAHHA i genuinely believe renee zellweger's british accent could just make me laugh forever (not even bc it's bad! it's good! it's just everything she says in it is funny!), and the scene in the proposal where sandra bullock starts chanting get low is literally peak cinema. OH OH and the incredibles 2. sorry but when jack jack gets his powers it was over for everyone else i genuinewly think that sequence w the raccoon is incredible....anyway well. turns out a lot of movies make me laugh lol

5. what’s your favorite season?

SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE IT'S MY EGYPTIAN GENES BUT I CANT GET ENOUGH OF THAT SHIT. EVERYTHING IS BETTER IN DA SUMMERTIMEEEEE!!!!!

17. favorite song?

i am sorry. i cannot possibly answer this. my current "favourite songs of all time" playlist is 4000 songs long. however. to give you a random selection of current favs that i have recently sent to any one of my friends and gone "holy shit what a song":

dont know why by norah jones (i am always listening to norah jones but like. it's that album's 20th anniversary this yr [which also, WHAT THE Fuck...the passage of time] and i just cant stop thinking ab this song. like. thats literally a perfect debut song. how can you improve on that song. you can't!! it's the perfect song!!)

distance by yebba i talk ab this song like all the time but i just can't express what a good song it is like...i rlly truly think no one is doing it like yebba in the music industry currently nd like. she really truly is shockingly good. and the best thing is when shes live it's almost...better which ! wow ! so rare rn. anyway. i love this song, always have, always will. i feel like i am constantly singing it somewhere in my head

homeward bound by simon and garfunkel ok like wow what a song ! ! ! i actually randomly put on the glee cover of it the other day and it made me genuinely emotional bc like. it's ... a realy good cover lol but i love this song. im liteerally sitting in a railway station got a ticket for my destination like SHUT UP!!!! WHAT A GOOD SONG

fairy tale by toni braxton iykyk but also like....honestly listen to it and u will get it. most babyface-produced song ever produced by babyface me thinks.........harmonically everything is good here sorry!

my willing heart by james blake ok great song. just such a good song. so oozy crunchy and delicious like whyd he do those chords like that wow. i love listening to this song and just like. exisiting in it like a sandwich.

my mum and i always listen to how deep is your love by the bee gees in the car together :) i love it! there is such a beautiful cover by PJ morton, both the live version w yebba and the live version w alex isley. i love!

ive had until by cecile mclorin salvant on REPEAT recently and overjoyed by stevie wonder leaves me...overjoyed!!

sorry u opened a literal sarcophagus w this qn. i cld talk about my fav songs literally FOREVER this is a completely random cross section of songs ive had playing recently it is not at all indicative of my ABSOLUTE faves of which...i fear i can never specify...but still :) hope u listen to some of these and enjoy!

24. if you could travel to any point in time, where would you go?

i wld go back in time for like 5 seconds to ask emily dickinson if sue is a top. then i wld leave bc i wld not want to be hate crimed

ask me random questions!

[textsacc]

letter

mm hey bestie 🥺🥺🥺 im not rly intending to write this as??? a love letter or smth but i have thoughts i was thinky abt n i just wanted to jot them down??? n also here you can read it ig bc they're tangentially rl8 to you but

hfkfjf i mean you'll see

so like i was watching this biologist talk abt researching how love is like. represented in the brain right. like dopamine n neurons n love map (aka a list of conscious n subconscious wants for your future partner) n there was a qn that asked what seperates romantic love frm platonic love! n i went to research the list bc the interviewee said there was one n i just went through them seeing if their list matches up w what id experienced before. n they have!

but the one factor that sorta shocked me was this specific item:

comes with an unrealistic aspiration of happiness from the prospect of being together.

like thats just a call out post for me right there fr fr. n i was thinking back on when you first met me to pass me the ciders for sab (which. admittedly now i want to try more lmao like taste wise n less alcohol wise) n rmb how i said legit i got so head empty when you called my name n offered to hold the bottles for me? and like. idk if i did mention this to you n uh i guess its kinda cringey but i cldnt stop thinking abt that moment: i swear i thought we were already long term married n i was abt to call you hubby. did i mention this before? like i was so swept up in myb the sext the night before that i just. head emptied too hard. reincarnated into a past life or smth idk. but like i point this out bc i wanted to say:

1. idk abt you but i s2g thats a first for me

2. i hope you wont bring this up agn bc im trying to forget

3. you know my absolute fav part about that is like. well. let me continue for a bit b4 coming back to this.

so im writing my character's backstory in sao and i'm not done w it yet? n i rmb smtimes i ask kon or sab to read it just to test how legitimate the storytelling feels. and like its good smtimes bc i shove in singlish in there for that local factor n its funny bc people cringe hard reading it. but likewise when i hit that gay note kon finds it hard to believe?

like the context is: char meets this transfer student n the transfer student wants to hang out w char + other transfer students on the weekends. like its an orientation camp n just so happens that char gets invited to go tourist sightseeing in sg on the assumption it's part of a group. but on the day the outing happens no one else shows up except char + transfer student. and ik its unlikely, just as unlikely as it is that strangers who just met wld go out on an outing like that? but aft pointing it out kon was like @ me: "well ig anything for a pretty girl right?"

and like. i thought it was a joke. i still think it is a joke ngl but. i really gotta think hard abt it. i think in that moment in the supermarket i really did feel like i understood what "anything for a pretty girl" was like. as in, that moment of chasing curiosity and/or falling hard for someone condensed into a single moment, a single snippet in the passage of time. like if you took forever n crammed it into a few seconds, that's how it would feel like.

like i'm trying to say: the feeling of falling hard: it feels dizzying. it feels hazy. it feels like a dream. it feels like you're actually weightless n transcendent. it feels like a lifetime, crushed, filtered for all the joy life brings you. it feels like a rush of dopamine so pure it could rival cocaine. it beats chocolate. it's higher than anything i believe i could ever feel.

and that's fucking insane thaddea. i'm still livid i felt that at all. like on a level of 'i can't believe that was a thing' and 'omg 2nd hand regret from remembering it' and 'is this universal? is this only me? should i double check myself before i wreck myself?' and 'wait. stop. is this how love actually feels like?'

to all of those qns? uh idk. i really dk the answer. but when i think back on all the poetry n yearning, the richard siken poems n the sappho excerpts, the speaking of the universe, death n rebirth n getting lost n found in crier's war, i start to understand why love or romance is written in this manner. like i love my nsfw lust-based stories just as much as anyone, and pure-hearted affection is easy to consume, but then it also begs the qn of 'why do people believe there's a certain depth to it?'

and to me it's like i just found the answer. like i'd just reached enlightment when i think back upon that moment. like in all the time i've existed in the world, it has to be this moment that gives me the answer n reasoning as to why the ocean was as deep as it is. not because we inflate it for fun, just for romanticism's sake but because that is the essence of romance. when someone falls they fall hard.

very hard. seeing stars is one thing. seeing an alternate universe is another.

and. uhh ik that was very intense??? above???? uh im not saying this to be like 'this is a declaration of my love' or 'this is how much i feel for you!' um its more so like uh

a. peer review me??? is this smth you've experienced before? i'd ask my other friends but this is. fucking gay to admit to anyone. like on a 'they'll never let me live it down' manner especially since it was on the first time you ever met me. like i've done stupid shit before but this is unintentionally the most head empty thing i've ever experienced and even then i had no control over what i felt.

b. do you think so too? like on the essence of how we write abt love n romance so deeply like its a subject matter worth studying itself. but like love comes in many different forms n im sure this isn't the only way it can exist but. that strong infatuation is what most people think about when they consider love. and also, obsession. do you think romance written in this manner is worth the hype?

c. they say love is obsession and every day i think of you. << this was meant to be a poem in general but yeah ig it was inspired by you. also not a declaration of my affection i'm just putting down stuff as it comes to my head. i promise. 💀💀💀

d. on an unrelated note, did you know that when i first showed you my tiddies i was asking for you to rest on them? n like. hfjfhkfhf you just sucked on them instead n i'm still shy abt them. like i just wanted to know if tiddy pillow was comfy n ig we did try it at sm point but like i was thinking head btwn tiddy = comfy??? or no??? but also every time i want to test this i get. rly. rly lost on how to ask for it. n i swear im not being sexual abt this i just think abt it all the time when im trynna sleep n im trynna imagine holding you or sm1 in btwn my arms n having their head just in btwn my boobs. that's it! n when i sleep w my bolster its comfy but idk abt human head yet. is that? weird? um

e. your tiddies r v nice pillows?????? yes thank you for letting me rest on them. this is my white guy fuckboi side that doesn't know how to flirt n sounds like an obnoxious person but also like. they are soft n comfy!!! i am. still yearning. shy

f. i forgot what else i had to say. i was rly just writing the abv thesis abt love n romance n thats how i got here rly. also i cldnt sleep nnive been trying for like an hour. so. wan giv you kisses b4 i try to sleeb agn.

g. gnight thaddea 🥺🥺🥺 you're cute n i like you a lot. n also if you read this here's 5 vouchers to get kisses frm me any time you want, just ic you feel lonely or kiss starved.

ok. nini cutie uwu