#they didn't MAKE Peridot rat them out to Homeworld

[sage-nebula]

Back in SU, I remember everyone always celebrated what a caring and supportive dad Greg was, and how the Gems grew close family relationships with Steven. But with these latest episodes it seems like people are turning on them. Particularly that Greg is an incompetent and irresponsible father after Mr. Universe and the Gems handled the conversation really badly in Fragments, showing that they still don’t understand human emotions (also that it’s their fault Steven has PTSD). (1/2)

Personally it makes me sad. I still love all four of them and have faith in them as Steven’s support circle. I think everybody’s just looking for someone to blame (like it’s a game, like it’s a game...). What’s your take?

My take is that I take offense on a personal level whenever anyone (including Steven) acts like Greg was a bad or unfit parent.

My biological mother was terribly abusive to me. My father was emotionally neglectful, and while my stepmother was better than him, she still contributed to the emotional abuse that I’ve just now in my adult years begun accepting that he put me through. I’ve never had a parent that was emotionally available, supportive, and openly loving unconditionally. I’ve never had parents who encouraged whatever I wanted to do, who I could go to when I needed them without fear of punishment of some kind.

So put simply, I would have killed for a parent like Greg Universe. Hell, I still would now. Greg was always there for Steven, no matter what. Steven needed someone who would be open and honest with him with no reservations? That was Greg. Steven needed someone to just chill with, eat pizza and play music with? That was Greg. Steven needed someone to make him feel like he was good enough even when he made mistakes (“if every pork chop were perfect . . .”)? That was Greg. Steven needed someone to drop everything to take him halfway around the world to investigate the place in his dreams? That was Greg, and Greg didn’t even get upset with Steven for that resulting in his own abduction into a human fucking zoo.

For all sixteen years of his life, Greg gave Steven unconditional love and support. For all that Steven has a tendency to take blame upon himself, that tendency cannot be passed onto Greg, because Greg never berated Steven or went off on him for the things he did wrong. Hell, Greg went out of his way to try to make sure that Steven didn’t feel bad for the things that happened, most of the time; when Greg had a panic attack about the attack with the hand ship, and everything that followed, he drove away after reassuring Steven until he could calm himself down enough to talk about it! No matter what Steven did, no matter what went wrong, he had assurance that he could bring it to Greg because Greg wouldn’t grow angry with him. Because Greg loved him, unconditionally. Because Greg always wanted to spend time with him, always thought he was cool, always thought his ideas were interesting. Greg was emotionally available, openly loving and supportive, 100% of the time in Steven’s life.

Does this mean that Greg is perfect, and didn’t make mistakes? No! But here’s a news flash: There is NO SUCH THING as a perfect parent, because there is NO SUCH THING as a perfect person, and parents are people. People make mistakes. Period. There is not a single person on this Earth who has never made a mistake, particularly when it comes to interacting with other people. I know a lot of people on this website (and on Twitter) don’t like accepting that, but it’s true. And as it’s true, Greg did make mistakes. Play acting like his leg wasn’t really broken to try to spend more time with Steven was a mistake (and was the one time Greg made Steven feel as if his powers weren’t up to snuff / not good enough). Arguably not enrolling him in school was a mistake, although given how Steven behaved like he was eight when he was fourteen, I think he probably would have been bullied mercilessly by most peers his age and so that was probably a good call on Greg’s part. Not taking him to the doctor wasn’t a mistake, if only because Steven is half-gem and thus a.) probably didn’t get sick and/or need vaccinations the way a full human would, and b.) Greg had no idea how much of Steven’s biology was gem and how much was human, and probably didn’t want to run the risk of having him taken away by government officials to be experimented on given that he was half-alien. Even so, I understand why humans balk at that. They see Steven as a fully human child, even though he absolutely is not.

The point is: Yes, Greg made mistakes sometimes. But Greg was loving and supportive and always made sure Steven was provided for. Steven complains that he lived in a van, but we know for a fact that once he was old enough to form memories, he actually lived in a beautiful house on the beach. Greg lived in a van, but always nearby enough so that he could be there if Steven needed him (without stepping on the toes of Pearl, with whom he didn’t have a good relationship given the whole Rose debacle). Even though Greg wasn’t in the house, he knew the Gems would be able to look after Steven. He made sure that Steven was as safe as he could be, given that the threat of war with Steven at the center was always on the horizon, and provided for in every way (shelter, food, love, support). Setting aside Steven’s complex over his gem powers and his demands to be a Crystal Gem (which, let’s be honest, had Greg forced Steven to go to school, Steven would have been angry that it took away from his chances at gem missions, and you know he would, if you remember how bratty he was about it at the start of the series), Steven had pretty high self-esteem for a kid of fourteen, in that he never felt embarrassed or awkward about the things he liked or how he presented himself at all. And who do we have to thank for that, do you think?

I’ve had parents who were abusive or neglectful. I’ve been dragged by my hair and thrown into walls. I’ve been near hospitalized for being underweight because there was so little food. I’ve been told I was lazy and making up bullshit excuses when I tried to explain how depressed I was, and then put under lockdown an entire summer for it. I’ve had my interests criticized and mocked by my parents, I’ve been shooed away when I’ve tried to talk to them, I’ve been belittled and demoralized and I’ve put myself through stomach ulcers and breakdowns trying to find any solution to problems I have before I have to go to them, because I don’t want more lectures and have it brought up again and again years later. I know what it is to have abusive, neglectful, and all around bad parents---parents who will do all of the above, and then still find a way to say that it was either my fault, or good for me somehow. And Greg Universe? Is not that type of parent. At all. Not even close.

So basically, my take is that people who want to condemn Greg can shut the fuck up, at least when they’re around me. My take is that even though Steven has PTSD and is going through a lot, him screaming at Greg that it’s Greg’s fault that he’s like this for loving and supporting him all these years was him acting like a spoiled, ungrateful brat. Because I would have given anything to have a parent like Greg Universe. As someone with C-PTSD from childhood trauma and abuse, I’d trade spots with Steven any fucking day. And trust me, he wouldn’t like it.