#they consider themself deeply merciful to those around them as while you cannot stop existing you can cut off traits and experiences
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Sighs and makes a token bloodfiend nugget
#rat rambles#oc posting#I wasn't going to but one of my older nuggets has been needing literally anything for me to work with for a while now#and Ive been coming up with some ideas but for them to work Id need them to be at least semi immortal which Im sure I could bullshit some#justification for but bloodfiend is much easier plus it does work well with the concepts I have rn#long story short they (parker) got very existential about the weight of time and the concept of eternal suffering as a wee bloodfiend#for a bit they sought to make themself as empty and unfeeling as they could until they realized what they saw as emptyness was in itself an#experience that they were in fact experiencing and feeling and they got even more existential about the nature of existing and what it#means to exist and decided that to exist is an imperfection but that one cannot simply stop existing so all there is to do is wait#which lead to them forming a more laid back attitue generally speaking but with a thick layer of judgement towards everyone around them#they consider themself deeply merciful to those around them as while you cannot stop existing you can cut off traits and experiences#which they generally dont see as worth doing due to how taking away certain experiences leads to new ones but they do still see death as#barely a net gain in value just not enough so to become a serial killer over it#and again they see themself as super merciful and forgiving for not murdering people more and for generally 'trying' to be kind to others#theyre more polite than anything and polite very much does not equal kind especially in this instance#they have made plenty of enemies through their strong sense of self righteousness and said enemies include many family members#they dont mind though. they understand that most would be broken by the revelations theyve had (it did break them but dont tell them that)#(also theyre yknow wrong in general but this is abt how they view reality)
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