#they both got scholarships bc they're smart i know it

[lokislytherin]

question to the lookism homies: what do you think future doctor jay would look like

asking for an au 👀

by future i mean around 5+ years after current lookism? it’s set post-canon, more context in the tags

[shalomniscient]

I don't know why Feixiao gives me himbo energy (i know she doesn't complete the trifecta bc she's smart) i think it's the wholesome jock vibes idk.

Which reminds me, I feel like Feixiao would go full on Gomez Addams on her S/O if given the chance. Absolutely shameless about her affection.

ur so right about everything u mentioned anon. wholesome jock feixiao is SO real like she's the embodiment of buff gf who helps you lift your furniture when you wanna redecorate or move out. also hdsfjhskdfj feixiao in a varsity jacket over a big hoodie in loose jeans........... the sleeper build boyfriend(gn) fit of all time........... head in hands i need to be her pretty academia girlfriend SO BADDD

while we're on the topic though, college!au feixiao got in on a sports scholarship and does sport science as her major. she's president of the taekwondo club and the college's star tk athlete. you can usually find her training with moze, another member of the tk club, while their friend jiaoqiu, who's doing his phd in nutrition, sits nearby and studies. despite spending almost an unhealthy amount of time in the gym she's still incredibly smart, and gets pretty good grades in her academics. she's your PT if you hit the gym with her, and she makes the BEST workout plans i just know it!!! reassures you the whole time as you start out and is super excited when you can move on to bigger weights. for her, she loves using YOU as her weights. she has you sit nice and pretty on her hips while she does hip thrusts OR has you sit on her back while she does push-ups. gets a little cheeky when it comes to sit-ups, because she'll make you hold her feet down and then surprise you with a kiss when she comes up.

she lets you borrow her varsity jackets because she LOVES the way you drown in them, how they're so big they hang off your shoulders and how your fingertips are barely visible by the end of the sleeves. if you're both taking a break from studying she'll drive you out (secondhand supra, white and teal coating, custom tuned ECU on top of a whole lot of other mods she managed to weasel in by interning at her uncle huaiyan's shop back in high school) for a late night tea run. she prefers fruit teas, and maybe you'll both get an ice cream to share. and if you fall asleep in the car on the way back, she'll drape her jacket over you and maybe secretly snap a picture that you'll later find set as her phone wallpaper.

[year2000electronics]

I absolutely LOVELOVELOVE your Reverse Falls HCs from what I've seen :). I would love to ask more about so much aspects haha.

What is Reverse Ford's main goal in this universe?

What is Ford' and Stanley's backstory?

Mind sharing some info about Reverse! Dipper and Reverse! Mabel?

HOKAY. i will use this ask to talk a little about the reverse stans' backstories because i have Some Ideas. as always full answer under cut bc its got images and rambles galore

in my mind, the gleeful family association with magic & the supernatural starts with caryn's phone psychic business, and ford having "The Gift" while stan ABSOLUTELY doesnt. but in real terms that means just having a really strong intuition and being able to guess well. (at least thats what filbrick and caryn thing. ford genuinely thinks he has some semblance of psychic ability and so does his mom, but they just havent properly honed it yet) and so ford is the preferred child for that, instead of his smarts really. ford is also obsessed with the supernatural still, but it's more focused on the magical aspect.

ford and stan's relationship ends up being close because stan is the only one who believes ford about magic. i mean there are other reasons but thats very important to ford

ford, seeing how stan has always had his back by believing what he says about magic, offers to try and "tutor" stan into having The Gift. drilling him for hours by holding up cards and making him guess, stuff like that. but yknow, since both of them are kinda clamoring to inherit their mom's business, stan kinda ends up relying on ford for everything, and theyre taking on almost a mentor-student relationship when theyre Literally Brothers.

instead of west coast tech, the scholarship ford is being offered is for a famous performing arts school after his teachers saw him take the leads in school plays year after year. they tell him a scout will be at their school's talent show, and ford decides he's going to put on a stage magic show (with stan as his assistant). this time, not only is stan worried about ford leaving, but also, since they've both been working towards a really similar thing (performing for a crowd), he's really worried he'll never get a chance to show off that HE has skill, too! ford brushes him off about this saying that he'll put a good word in for stan when he's at performing arts school and stan is like "ok." and agrees to be his assistant.

in the middle of ford's show, he goes rogue, trying to show the scouts that he can be just as skilled as ford is, and completely screws up the trick he ends up performing. ford doesnt get that internship, ford is furious, so is filbrick, stan gets kicked out, you know the rest.

ford goes to backupsmore and double-majors in both theatre and whatever he majors in in the show. he plans to move to gravity falls because of its high ratings of weirdness. after stan got kicked out, instead of becoming a traveling salesman, he becomes a street magician who doubles as a pickpocket. stealing peoples' watches and stuff. he runs around all over the place

ford digs up four mystic amulets once he gets to gravity falls and stays there for a while, and is like "oh man i can USE these". so how i imagine the amulets to work is that they're kinda like, a conduit through which you can learn legit magic? like casting spells and stuff. but he probably only needs one so he keeps the other three in his house (and that's how the kids eventually find the others)

and of course thats how he starts up the tent of telepathy!

but he wants more. he wants to make the world pay for ever calling him a six fingered freak. and he wants to prove to the world that his magic IS real. he can't just lie sequestered in gravity falls forever. so he goes hunting for more answers about gravity falls' weirdness, and how he might be able to get more POWER to make a show so good the entire world will see... and that's how he summons will cipher! will tells him about the portal, and how itll open up a dimension of weirdness into his own, and ford accepts on those terms, looking out just for himself. then he asks fidds to come help with the portal, fidds walks out on him, he shackles will to him in a deal, but they both realize they don't have the manpower to run the portal. reluctantly, ford calls stan up, telling him to come and that it's important.

...but of course that doesnt go well. stan initiates a physical fight and ford ends up getting sucked into the portal. will is left alone with stan, who tells him he can buzz off because HE certainly doesnt want him around. stan works for the next 30 years to get ford back because he wants ford to finally be the one who has to suck up to HIM and owe HIM something.

at some point, mason and mabel's parents become unable to take care of them and give them to stan. he reluctantly takes them in, but soon after, not only do they find the amulets but also journal 2, and they end up reactivating ford's deal with will, getting passed down to the "next of kin" after stan rejected it. AND THATS SORTA WHERE THE SHOW STARTS. THUMBS UP.

[raevenlywrites]

Do you know how to sew poll

My tags

#church youth group by hand#punishment for being kicked out of school by machine

@inscrutably-coy tags

#i've done both but I'm not great at either#also raev I want to hear this story

Not that interesting I'm afraid. I was kicked out of my last two weeks of senior year and my mom thought I did it to spite her so she insisted I still learn something with those last two weeks so she made me learn how to sew (we worked together on some basic peasant tops and skirts I wore to renfair later that summer)

...okay, maybe it is that interesting? Lemme set the scene

The year is 2004. 9/11 is still very fresh in the small minds of my small rural town, and the powers that be (vice principal with little man complex) already hate me bc I'm goth and smarter than he is etc etc.

Be Me. Be voted "Delightfully Different" for the year book superlatives. Goth it up for picture day bc I know why tf I got voted this way. Give the people what they want. Dress like the motherfucking Crow.

(Fun aside, my now wife then girlfriend and I are responsible for SEVERAL amendments to the school dress code, including a beautiful line about "no trench coats, dusters, cloaks, opera capes, or other such outwear that hits below the knee. anyway)

Be me again, sick but at school bc that's how it fucken works. gotta train up teh work force etc etc. So i'm sick, tired, and in my fucking pjs bc fuck that noise. Get pulled out of homeroom by the wardrobe police (librarian) and be fed some bullshit line about how my pics for the year book "didn't turn out". On a digital camera. Bitch fuck you. whatever. take my picture, get out of my face, i hate you all.

Back in homeroom, buddy asks me what that was all about. me, grumpy, explains the above bullshit. complains, goes to last period.

get called to the office

principal mc inferiority complex stares at me, I stare at him. he asks if I have any idea why i'm here. i had honestly assumed it was to receive another scholarship and have my pic taken for the news paper, as has already happened a few times this month. smart senior, remember? so I just stare. Prin. Bullshit tries to do a hard ass routine, all cop drama style, am I sure I don't know why i'm here etc etc. I honestly have no idea and say as much. Something I said maybe? he asks smugly. Nope, no bells my dude. Something threatening?

Dear reader, I am truly lost. I'm sick, have a headache the size of texas, and just wanna go back to choir, the one period I share with my gf. I finally do the adult thing (sad but one of us had to be) and tell him I truly have no idea why I'm here so if he could just tell me we could both move on with our days.

He tells me a fellow student overheard me making a bomb threat.

I am floored. I do not recall saying such a thing because I didn't fucking say such a thing. I go over my conversations in my head, and it is only now after the fact that I realize what I must have said. in my tired teen tirade, I invoked the dreaded columbine and said something to the effect of "[in regards to my goth wear] it's like they're afraid I'm going to shoot up the school or something".

I really don't remember if I pieced that together there or later. I truly didn't care. Old dude says they can sett me up with ISS (in school suspension) which would take a week to set up so I'd only be in there for like three days anyways, or, and this is clearly his smug preference, I got home and never set foot on school property again.

This is, of course, the dream scenario. Finals are done; this last two weeks of school is seniors dicking around and practicing for graduation. I have no interest in any of this. It does not feel lik ea celebration or milestone to have slept my way through four years of high school. I gleefully accept his terms and drive myself home in my hot pink geo tracker I wrecked so that mom would let me paint it purple while it was in the body shop anyways (trying to impress a girl. it clearly worked, she married me)

Mom is furious. Swears I did this on purpose. I wish I had thought of it, honestly. Two weeks of crash course home ec ensue. I learn to sew on a machine and wear adorably bland peasant top to ren fair.

Graduation comes, I don't go (banned from school property). Friends after teh fact tell me that 1) the choir doesn't sing alma mater bc my beautiful gf refused to sing w/o me present, and we were the alto section. Popular girl in my grade who is unthinkably sweet and everyone loves and we were on the basketball team together in 7th grade goes on and on about how awful the person who made up lies about me must be and how terrible they must feel etc etc. Snitch is in that class, has to heard it, wants to die on the spot. Absentee victory.

See above where I was smart. Top 10 in my class. Announcer goes to read the students names. "Announcing, the top 10 graduates of 2004. Number 9..." Just skipped right the fuck over me. Goddamned hilarious.

So basically this is the story of how the adults in my life made fools of themselves and I had my Ferris Buehler's Day Off of it all.

And also sewed my younger sibling a monkey for their birthday.

[l0stfoster]

Casper gives me the chance to oc talk so I’m gonna get funny and throw my cards in too. The art is quick and shitty I had to make a reference for someone.

Technically I've got 3 ocs, the other two just haven't been drawn but to put it playing; Soc and Greaser, secret relationship bc they're gay and different social classes. They act like they hate each other but makeout behind the bleachers /silly I'll draw them in the future and elaborate FOR NOW THOUGH!! SAM!! Lots of shit below the cut, he's the equivalent of my self-insert.

- His full name is Sam Kaiser; their grandfather (dad's side) is German (and their mom's side is Polish) but he and his parents were born in America, so he's pretty disconnected from his heritage bc his parents don't care enough about it. He was 19 during '67 - He's got an 18-year-old brother and a 26-year-old sister. Her brother's been drafted to Vietnam (which he wanted, as he had always been interested in the military ) while his sister took off to New York for college and made it big. - Born in Tulsa, when Sam and their brother were 13 and 12 their parents had a messy divorce. His father took full custody of the kids because their mother wanted nothing to do with them. Their father's pretty shit and all he really does is just pay the house bills and buy himself food or booze, he ignores them unless he needs something or if they aren't listening to him. Their older sister was looked at once for custody consideration when their father got himself into a bit of trouble but turned that shit down fast. Sam still hasn't gotten over that, it was also the last time he'd heard from her. - He/She pronouns both because nobody can figure out what the hell he was born as besides his parents, but she also doesn't know that they/them is an option. Being transgender in the 60's was already looked at negatively; god knows any other kind of gender identity was NOT something they've probably even known about. - Deeply values their freedom and acts out against their father, because although he's pretty neglectful, he still tries to hold an iron fist over him. His piercings (and tattoos) are a part of the ways he chooses to rebel and separate himself. Still wears his dad's dog tags, despite that, because he still loves his father. - Greaser, their father works with the same roofing company as Darry does but on a different team. Sam does a lot of job hopping as he's disabled and can't keep a solid job. Very financially insecure. - Wanted to go to college but their scholarship wasn't enough and couldn't justify going. He wanted to be an astronaut :( You bet your ass this mf cried watching the moon landing in 1969

- I like to imagine Sam and Darry are on friendly terms since they've both had the experience of missing out on college and a chance to escape Tulsa; and Sam also thoroughly respects Darry for stepping up, since she knows how heartbreaking it is to have family refuse you like you're nothing. (I've shipped them before bc I'm cringe and free fuck you /silly) - He's not really part of any specific Greaser gang, he just sort of shows up sometimes and lingers before dipping again. Their brother was popular amongst both socs and greasers (he's just really charming) and Sam was, sort of jealous; but they liked their alone time. They only met the gang through school and other general mischief. Huge klepto, would go on stealing sprees with Two where Sam would distract and Two would take. - While his brother and father are smart with cars, he's very car-stupid. Gave Steve a heart attack because she pulled up with a VERY flat tire and insisted that it wasn't too bad (he should've crashed on the way there) - Got the nickname "Park" because he hates being home, so he'll usually end up at the park if he doesn't want to be around anyone. Usually, he'll either be there in silence or with a little journal. - Resting bitch face galore. He's not very confrontational but has a temper and gets into fights a lot because he runs his mouth and doesn't know when to shut up. He carries a switch his brother bought him but hasn't dared to bring it out in a fight yet. - Throws himself into crime and other shit of the sort as a way to break out of the expectations people have set for him. His sister successfully left Tulsa and made it big while his brother's in the military-- has the middle child stereotype and authority figures always expected him to follow after his siblings. - Sam hates drinking due to their father but has slowly begun taking it up as a way to cope with the social pressures and his own issues. Smokes as well, but tries to do that less due to valuing their lung capacity (He likes to run) - Just a little side fun fact. If he exists in Cursed au he'd either be a Harpy (likely an owl) or invisibility. Thought about shapeshifting but it'd be funny bc the mf only ever uses it for convenience, like getting taller to reach a shelf. - Also in Cursed he'd end up being friendly with Paul bc fuck you I love Paul and so Sam can too /silly

Sorry if any of this is all over the place my brain is fried rn.

Starting a reblog game: RB w/ your own outsiders OC!

if enough folks do, I’ll draw them together or something lol, it’ll be fun!

So these are blatant self inserts for my sister and me

(Info & backstories under the cut because I’ve put waaaay too much thought into this)

and again, pls do reblog/tag me w/ your own Outsiders original/self insert characters! (Drawings and/or written descriptions!) Making OCs was one of my favorite things to do as a kid, so I figured it’d be fun to bring it back here lol

(And to reiterate- if enough of ya’ll do this I’ll draw ‘em all together like a greaser-sona gang! So don’t be shy ok??)

-got sent to Tulsa from Seattle in 1961 at ages 13 and 11 to live with their mildly neglectful uncle, due to their mother getting cancer and being unable to properly care for them. Their father was lost at sea when they were little, so they had no one else to go to.

-in Tulsa they go by their mother’s surname, Biondi, instead of their father’s, because interracial marriage isn’t legalized in Oklahoma until ‘67. They try to pass as just Italian. This works better for Naomi, who takes more after their mother than their father in looks.

-Naomi is good friends w/ Ponyboy- she relates to him a lot, from the dislike of fighting to the love for sunsets (legit Ponyboy reminds me of my sister so much irl) (She’s also low-key got a crush on him and Sodapop which is pretty funny)

-Jesse is closer to Two-Bit, Dally, Steve, and Soda. And he really likes fights. They’re exciting and make him feel tough. When he stops to think about it it does make him a little uneasy how much he’s grown to like them, but usually he just ignores that

-Naomi disapproves of crime. Jesse used to oppose it too, but the more time he spends without good role models and parental figures, the more his morels loosen. Tries hard to be a good example for Naomi though

-Jesse met the gang through Sodapop originally- they were thirteen and some Socs were jumping Soda, and Jesse jumped in and helped him out. Soda explained to him what the deal with Socs and greasers is, because there’s no greasers up North

-Naomi met the gang separately through being classmates with Ponyboy. They were working together on a school project, one with him writing and her drawing

-So Jess and Naomi spent a solid few months hanging out with different members of the same gang, completely unaware they had the same group. They eventually end up running into each other at the Curtis house, and both are totally shocked. Two-Bit, who knew the whole time, nearly died laughing

-Naomi is friends with both Socs and greasers, because she isn’t really either- she’s financially a greaser, but she has a crazy high GPA for someone who has ADHD and dyslexia in the 60s, and besides that, she just doesn’t like what she sees as pointless rivalry

-Jess loves pointless rivalry. At least until people start getting hurt. Then he starts to get angry.

[magical-agatha]

ive been like, stressed and sick and havent been able to leave the house since like january so i hadnt had my 2nd dose of the vaccine, which was stressful as well. recently i decided i just had to force myself to go out and get it no matter how much fallout there would be for my health bc once i got it that would be one less thing to worry about.

my beautiful incredible genius wife had the idea of asking if the pharmacist could swing by our house and vaccinate me that way so i didn't have to fuck myself up going out. and they could which was great so i got my 2nd pfizer shot yesterday.

my arm hurt but aside from that i didn't have much reaction yesterday. maybe a slight headache. was fine still this morning. but had pony dnd today with the polycule, which was so very awesome, but also like. rly exhausting.

the setting is fallout equestria, aka what if fallout happened in the land of my little pony. and its set about 250 years after the show. my character is a like, early 20s unicorn scholarship student at princess celestia's magic/friendship school, but she was failing her classes bc of reasons ill get to.

for anyone who doesn't know, princess celestia is an enormous winged unicorn who is the ruler of the land and has lived for thousands of years and literally controls the sun and moon. and she's like, an absolute sweetheart. very kind and gracious and caring. and she personally mentors a handful of ponies at her school. to various degrees.

in the show she mentors the main character, twilight sparkle, but in the canon of our dnd game she also mentored my character, snowy starsparkle. the show has a habit of making foil characters for twilight, often as villains who get redeemed later thru the magic of friendship, theres like 6 or 7 of them. so i decided that i was going to make a twilight foil. they go to the same school and have similar specialties and cutie marks and even names. they're both like, dorky book nerds who care way too much about being smart and good at magic. but snowy is always just a little bit behind twilight. and secretly hates her for it. ofc twilight has no idea who she is. but twilights the smartest and shes celestia's favourite too. so of course snowy develops an unhealthy obsession with competing with twilight and getting celestia's attention.

and then the show happens and twilight leaves magic school to go study friendship in ponyville, leaving behind snowy and totally oblivious to the one sided rivalry. with twilight gone snowy becomes top of the class, but without the rivalry and jealousy motivating her she quickly falls behind. to the point where shes at the bottom and is in danger of flunking out. or whatever the term is. celestia tries to help her where she can but she's busy and its never enough bc there's like a core motivation problem. celestia is considering sending her somewhere to make friends and take a break from her studies like she did with twilight.

snowy eventually decides she needs to cheat. if she cheats for a month or two she can take some pressure off herself and then like, she can catch back up she's sure of it. so she starts looking into magical artifacts that boost the power of a unicorn. goes to some village in the middle of nowhere based on a hint in a book, finds an amulet in a cave, then slips and falls into a crevice, smashing the amulet and getting herself frozen for 250 years. being eventually excavated by mercenaries sent to find the amulet she broke. etc etc.

everyone she ever knew is dead and gone and her whole life is turned upside down. her home town of canterlot is basically magic chernobyl but the elephant's foot is a pink acidic radioactive magic slime cloud covering the ruins of her whole personal world and polluting the rivers passing nearby the canterlot ruins. everyone is dead and gone except maybe celestia.

anyway the point is i decided she definitely has some sort of mental problems. but also her private obsession with celestia's approval has a very strong overlap with her like, being gay and not having time or the right support or info to realise that she is gay. there's like a whole Thing there i think. unresolved closet horse lesbian who's deeply in love with the goddess who has been helping her learn magic.

except now 250 years have suddenly passed and the world has been nuked and she was trapped in a crystal being mutated by the magic of an ancient and powerful ice amulet, and she has become an immortal undead wellspring of incredible icy power. but also she needs to make friends and survive in a hostile wasteland where might makes right and you're constantly pressured to kill to survive. and celestia apparently retired as ruler and vanished while snowy was frozen.

its a whole thing. but anyway the point is the vaccine started fucking with me today and dnd wore me out so im rly nauseous and a bit just. scrambled and incredibly drained mentally and snowy is like. partially a self insert ponysona and maybe ive been fixating a little bit on princess celestia for the last few hours.

she's an immortal goddess who's incredibly powerful but she's also like. so unfalteringly kind and gracious and full of love and wants to see the best in everyone?? oh and she's like. twice the height of the average pony. shes like 8ft tall. she's like if lady dimitrescu wasnt evil. i think its perfectly reasonable to be like a little in lesbians with her especially if you've accidentally created a whole like noncanon story about a self insert pony who's desperate for her approval and maybe you have like some issues you need to work out. basically what im saying is in all ways except physical im definitely like a pony and celestia is definitely like transgender and i love her. and maybe im subtly blaming all this on being sick rn bc of the vaccine bc im like embarrassed.

i am also rly sick lol i am soooo full of vaccine 😳💓❄️

[sumeshi-t]

✨ self-ship tag game ✨

PART 2 | IwaLee (here you go, discord)

sorry if it's corny/cheesy LMAO my brain empty i can't think of anything to make for iwa's birthday i'm such a dumbass. was also supposed to draw an nsfw-ish thing for this but ya girl is feelin’ out of it lately sjhfalhj

How we met:

okay let’s just say i’m smart enough to land myself a scholarship in socal since i’m taking physical therapy anyway

i feel like... we would meet in the library LMAO what asian nerds

maybe i’d end up bothering him with the way i’m murmuring anatomy stuff and talking to myself when studying

so he overhears me struggling to remember that one word and he’s gonna fucking answer for me like okay sorry bud i’m stupid

jk i won’t react like that i’d just be like, “yes!” and turn to look at whoever it was who answered and say thank you because i’m so immersed in my own bubble of “knowledge” and big brain

when i notice that he’s actually cute i’d be fucking red in the ears out of embarrassment when he tells me to tone my voice down lmao so i apologize for being a bother :(

actually says, “don’t mind” damnit his english do be cute. just two asian kids far from home with accents

it’s awkward, but i’d steal glances at what he’s studying. would probably get caught after a looong while, but it’s bc i’ll be blanking off, brain tired

“do you have anything you want to ask?” he’ll be dropping his pen over his notes leaning back and stretching, bending his neck, rolling his shoulders while waiting for my answer

“omg i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare.” then i ask what his program is just bc he could be in one of my classes and i didnt know

anyway, turns out our schedules were pretty similar, we live in the same area/dorm, so like there’s always a chance for us to meet somehow

we wouldn’t give numbers to eo on that same day; like give it about two weeks of constantly bumping into eo before that happens

watch me share my highlighters with him, exchanging notes, passing some snacks beneath the table like its weed or sumn

from lib meetings to getting lunch together to being invited to watch his games (in freshman year i’d still go because i’d be less busier)

i would definitely use the honorifics on him, from “iwaizumi-san” gradually to “iwa-kun”; he won't admit that he likes it because it's a little piece of home

would convince to practice palpation with him because his body is a perfect example–

"wh-why don't you ask someone from your class?"

"i'm not that close with—are you blushing? omg you are!"

somehow i joke around, "i won't touch your dick," then i'd laugh at his reaction.

anyway, in return for using his body as a model, i have to sit through a godzilla marathon with him

the first time he sees me breakdown from the stress he's kinda flustered at first; but he's seen similar things with oikawa so he has a faint idea what to do. damn his hugs feel so warm, so safe

i'm quicker to open up to him, once i got comfortable; and reassurance that if he needed someone to talk to i'll also be there

basically a slow burn best friends to lovers kinda thing

ngl i'd be crushing on him by the time we're entering second year maybe? but because we're friends i always throw the thought away because i don't wanna ruin what we have

but da heart wants what it wants

it would take: the teasing of his buddies back at japan after seeing him post ig pics of us together (it was me who did it, i grabbed his phone); and, my own set of friends getting annoyed at me for always being in denial—all these just for us to finally come into terms with what we feel for eo

"i have something to tell you," we'll say to eo before we enter the lib ksksksk

"oh, you go first-" "no, you-"

it's awkward but i'll be the first to confess and he's 👁👁

"you... what?" "smh don't make me say it again, iwa. does this mean we're not friends anymore?"

"yeah"

"oh..."

"because i like you too. you... wanna go out with me?"

First date x type of dates:

study dates are automatically a thing for sure; we've upgraded from lib to cafe dates

since we're like, friends before this, potential stuff for first dates are already crossed out since we've kinda done them already???

so this issue was raised and his mind said, "then let's redo everything,"

the first thing we did outside campus was go on a foodtrip. because i was craving filo food, and he was craving jap food. and then i have this kinda habit that when i get to eat something delicious, i silently squeal or hum in my seat he finds that cute

the "first date" doesn't really have to be grand because we're like... close friends with feelings. so we don't have to try hard to please each other. everything just feels natural when we're together

anyway, we try out the food we didn't have before. he still prefers sinigang over adobo. he's still kinda amazed where i put all the food after eating a bowl of ramen that's good for two

he's gonna take a pic of me in that excited face i make when the food is placed before me and make it his wallpaper (homescreen) secretly

after that, we're just walking, me telling him about something i watched or nerd talk, then he slips his hand against mine, holding it and pulling me closer that it makes me shut up–so he laughs

"that's all it takes to get you quiet, babe?"

"w-what? also... did you just call me babe? because i didn't think i'd like it,"

"i know something you'll like," he stops walking, then, with his free hand he cups my face and pulls in for a kith kith 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

i am blushing when i tell him, "that your first kiss?"

"y-yeah, why?"

"same"

we were already walking and he swoops in for a quick peck again, "then that's the second,"

he says that with a little frown on his face, cheeks also flushed and ugh soft!lee—i lean my head against his arm because i'm too short to put it above his shoulder. but anyway i tell him, "didn't think you had it in you to be this soft for me,"

"sh-shut up"

it doesn't seem romantic because ✨it doesn't have to be when we're already happy✨

While we’re dating:

he saves all the selfies i send him; whether it's the meme-ish ones or just me feelin' good about myself he's got them saved

notebooks getting interchanged kskskss it's terrible because one minute i'm reading my notes about pharma, then i flip a page and i see stuff about sports science like–???

tho what makes it cute is that he has tiny scribbles on corners in hiragana or maybe kanji and some random zigzag lines over some words–a sign that he fell asleep with a pen in his hand

i have lots of caps (that are majority of my dad's but i like them all so i brought sum) and he just... gets one from behind my door (it's the same energy as the hoodies thing)

and i 🥺 bc he actually looks good in caps like??? sir that's illegal

ok but walks in the beach at sunset

also surfer!iwa???? mhhhh yes yes living the dream honestly

ofc volleyball is involved, he's kinda pleased i can play decently. it's either the gym or vb

he would force me to go to the gym smh "you're a PT aren't you? shouldn't you be moving around too?" i'm gonna grumble but the sight of his er, toned body before during and after exercising is the best reward

actually its a win-win, he likes how my butt is outlined by my jog pants and how for him, i still look good even if i'm sweaty all over

hehe we'd end up getting horny by the time we reach the dorms–you know the rest and afterwards:

"so, you'll go to the gym more often now?"

"if it ends up like this, i wouldn't mind,"

we teach eo our mother language! but only on our spare time. omg imagine him telling me "mahal na mahal kita"??? i'm??? or when he's chatting with oikawa (especially that one time he sent a selfie of him and ushijima) he uses tagalog swear words if he just wants to mess with his best friend

vidcalls with each other's fam—i mean, for my parents they know we've been always close, and like, it will be my grandma/dad who'd ask him, "when will you court my granddaughter/daughter?"

he got so nervous, he stuttered, "i'm... i'm courting her already,"

anyway they approve of him because he is smart^TM and a good man 🥺 because they know he has ambitions in life the same way that i do have my own goals i wanna achieve

meanwhile me, i'm gonna be so nervous trying to speak to his fam, but they're all so sweet so i tell him afterwards, "so that's where you get the softies,"

anyway since this is college we're talking about, every passing year, we both become busy, especially when internships come around

but when he can, he'll fetch me from the hospital with comfort food because he knows it's been a rough day and he wants to make sure i'm taking care of myself 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 lowkey i try to do the same for him because he deserves it; but he says it's okay and that i should be preserving my energy for my studies 😭

[swallowglass]

Yesterday I finally got back down to a number I like a little bit and then today is my sister's birthday (My younger sister who I somewhat get along with) so of course I had cake and ice cream. And now I'm afraid I ate too much. I did a little bit of physical activity today (roller skating and a short walk) and theoretically I didn't eat enough to actually gain weight but my body is a little bitch sometimes and the numbers go up even when they shouldn't. Idk. I also took my stitches out today, and I waited too long (it's been 2 weeks exactly) both in terms of like the horizontal mattress ones were like way embedded and also the scar is very thin and I don't like that. Idk. I haven't cut since that one though. I have an appointment with the hematologist on June 8th, which is in 18 days not counting today, and that's my time limit to get to my goal weight because they're probably gonna weigh me and if I'm either there or close to it I'm probably gonna get forced into gaining in some form or another. My mom was talking to my pcp and then she was looking into residential, which I don't wanna do, but she was saying it's really expensive and it would basically be all of my college money. (We have insurance, does insurance not cover residential?) Which on one hand I know I'd feel very guilty if they had to pay like out of pocket, but I also feel like that's kind of unfair. I didn't ask to be like this and that feels like a punishment. And also seriously fucks with my ability to like plan for a future bc I already have enough trouble with imagining myself as still alive in 10 years even without having college debt as a certaincy looming over my head. And i know you can do stuff without a degree but I don't know if there's anything I want to do that fits that. And i can't get scholarships because I'm not smart or athletic or anything. Anyway.