#they are however providing the path of least resistance to abusers and egoists who don’t care about their needs

[ch-falk]

No amount of pleasantries and manners can make up for the radical, authentic kindness you can live with when you start training your ‘fuck off, I’m not interested’ muscle. People pleasers often end up in situations where they are nice out of obligation, so perceived kindness is less of an active choice and more like a reflect under perceived threat. If you know the art of telling people off, exiting situations and having firm boundaries you become a far more active agent in your own kindness. It also makes it way easier for non-creeps and people who aren’t abusive to talk to you, because they know you will assert yourself if you feel stepped on. Healthy people like that. The type of people who don’t like assertiveness aren’t necessarily looking out for your best interest..